Eluded by the Ring once again....but I didn't get 'Erin Holt'ed' this time!

Nope...this time, it was Adam "The Rulebook" whatever his last name is...and as I was going to delete him from my Facebook just now I discovered he isnt even ON my Facebook. Good, no wonder! This makes about 3 or 4 ridiculously disgusting torture beats he has put on me this spring. Between him and Mark Cain...who had now zapped me from about 11 poker tourneys this MONTH....and got me again in the 7pm tourney last night...after getting me in the 4pm tourney...its almost getting comical!

Yah before I rush into that...I will just cut to the chase. I made the Final Table of the noon tourney yesterday. Don't get excited, only 30 people played in the $440. So making this final table was no grand accomplishment. When 4pm rolled around I decided to sign up for the $250 contest, 'just in case.' It never would prove to be necessary, so when I had a chance to go play a couple hands, I had Justin Jones, a guy I hold in high regard...quickly raise my BB...and thinking he was probably just stealing my blind..knowing I had to get back to the Final Table....when the guy on the button went all in for only 1100 (blinds were 100/200) and I looked down at KQ, I figured re-shoving might not be such a bad play. Whoops, J.J. turned over QUEEENS and the all in guy had AK. Whooooboy! Nice timing. Mark flops a one-outer Q.....I lose all but 700 of my chips, which left a few hands later when I shoved with A10 and lost to 58!

Then on dinner break I decide to buy into the 7pm tourney, since it was only $120 and was actually better attended, with 75 players. I never won a single hand in this tourney. Well, I only played 4 hands. And on the 4th, when the Final Table had concluded, I had only 750 chips left at 150/300 and got it in with AK....against 3-4..Mark Cain again....drops a 4 on my ass...and I was out of that one.

So...the nooner. I started out with a very good table. I, once again, had James Reed at my table...and his wife Nicole. If you all have been watching the coverage of the January final table from the Beau Rivage you will have seen these two. I also had Kenny Milam and a few other decent players including Ricky...'lil Ricky' as I call him...who I used to be on 'Battle Terms' with until we resolved things a year ago...after he called clock on me late in a tourney at the IP about three years ago.

Early in the tourney I was in the SB with A10 and just completed the blinds at 50/100. The flop came A-10-5. I checked. Ricky checked. Kenny bet 300. I smooth called. Ricky raised it another 500. Kenny called. Hmm...decision. Now...realistically I should have just raised it another 1000....and not really sure why I didn't, I guess because I was 99% sure that Ricky had A5 and would never fold there...mainly because he had been having a frustrating day so far and now only had another 4k in his stack. And him delaying told me he didnt have a set of 5's so after shoving all in instead of just raising...he tanked for literally 15 minutes. Then he pulls a move that the dealer regarded as an angle shoot move...grabbing his stack, lifting it...moving towards the center of the table with it...and says "Okay Monkey, here ya go...." looks at me some more...then slowly pulls them back. Hmmmmm......

Then the dealer calls the floor over and the floor tells him he is going to recieve a one-round penalty for his action but that it is NOT a call...but that he still has the option. He folds...and does in fact show the player next to him A5. Well Kenny Milam...who I simply am crazy about...makes a boneheaded call (which he fully admits to!) with A2 for about 2300 more and I do stack him off. I really should have played that hand better...but I didnt think Ricky would fold...so, whatever. I would get Ricky's chips in about 2 orbits anyway.

Erin Holt was dealing to us...and for the most part, Erin and I have been coexisting on the Planet Poker the last month or two without any major calamities. I have to give Erin credit...she has been handling all of my ribbing like a great sport. I think all you dealers know...I dish it out to you all when your crushing me and I am just messing with you. As the deliverers of the death and destruction, you are simply going to be my personal little whipping boys/girls. You KNOW that right!??? I made a deal with Erin a while back...Erin, like me...is a lover of animals, and wants badly to go to Vet School...but its very expensive. I told her...as a way to get her out of the box and not having to destroy me, that if I win a million bucks this year, I will put her through Vet School! Maybe that's why things have turned around between us lately!

She pushed in and started dealing me winning hands, one after the other. Then the big one hit. A fairly aggressive player, a kid who has been at my table a few times this week and is a nice kid, but kind of slow/dopey...not sure whats up there...maybe he's just one of those guys who talks real slow....I don't know....he raises to 700 from 100/200. Nicole, Jame's wife...calls the 700...and I look down at AA. Wheeeee. I raise it to 2200. The kid who raised has a stack bigger than mine, and I reallllly don't want to get caught up in a big pot with him and get sucked out on. As soon as I raised, Ricky jammed his stack in there....THANK GOD...that should guarantee that we play this hand heads up and not 4 handed. And I was right as the other two folded...the kid with 55 and Nicole with 33.

Here comes the flop....the first card I see in Erin's hand is a K and my stomach sinks...but then she slides all 3 and I see an Ace! Far out...I don't react, I just sit there....waiting for the other king...but it fails to show up. Erin's face glows. Ricky angrily storms off. I scoop a pot of about 6000 and was on my way. Thanks Erin!!!!!

A little while later I decide to try raising light with QhJh...to 1100 from 200/400. James Reed goes all in for 3100, and the BB goes all in for 1100. The big blind was a nice guy from Florida who played tight all day and just never could catch a break. I knew I was so behind...and wanted to fold...but there was just so much in the pot that a fold would have been stupid. I call. James has, predictably, KK...and the other guy had AQ. Two really nice hands. Jackson, the dealer just looked at me with that....'wow, Monkey.....this is gonna be a tough one.'

"okay...well, give me 8-9-10 of hearts Jackson!!!!" And we all laughed. Hell, I had resigned this one...telling them both 'nice hand.'

Then Jackson throws out a flop of J-J-4! No way...turn a 4 for the boat and a harmless 5 on the river, and I had two more punchouts. Now I was starting to get that feeling of invincibility that comes when you win tourneys...like you can never lose a race. Its awesome.

We get to the Final Table at 300/600 and I have an above average stack. Then I lose a big pot against this old guy to my right. This guy would end up being my nemesis, and eventually win the damn thing...through the biggest 'smoke and mirrors' act I have ever seen. He is the guy who never knows how much the blind is, how much he can bet after the flop...who's turn it is....always slowing down the action. You know who I'm talking about?

Yeah I raise to 2100 UTG with AJ....he calls in the BB...with 10-10. Okay. Fair enough. The flop comes 8 high and he bets 600. Yeah.....600 into a 4600 pot! Huh? I sheepishly call with my ace high. Then a Jack hits the turn. Thank you. He now bets 1200. What the hell is going on here? I should have raised huge there, but didn't...I just called, having no idea where he was but feeling a set maybe. So when the river was a 9...and he checked, I had to think I was good. I bet out 4500. He goes all in. What the hell!??? I fold. He shows the 10's...which, with the river...made him a straight. I kicked myself for about ten minutes.

Then he limps UTG for 600...for about the millionth time...and I fold QJ. The button calls, as do both blinds. So when the flop comes K-10-3 I cringe as they all check. The turn is an Ace and I want to throw up in my mouth. Old Man Clueless is sitting there with A4...the other guy on the button has A6....they end up getting into a betting war...one which, had I been in there with my QJ...would have probably felted one of them, and crippled the old man. But no...I stayed out of the hand. ANOTHER chance I would have had to erradicate that old coot!

We eventually get down to 5 players. Now mind you...this thing is only paying 3 spots, so yeah...it was kind of stressful. I get my huge double up with Kurt Dau in the box. Sitting in the BB with AQ...and this guy (the Camouflage Hat guy that I always worry about) limping on the button ONCE AGAIN....I just move all in on him...for a LOT....like...we're talking 71k. It was a stupid all in...but I never expected him to snap call...but he did, with 88...just like he did the other day in another tourney. I catch nothing on the flop. A 3 on the turn...and as he had me covered...by only about 2500...I was on my way out the door when Kurt saved my ass with an ace on the river...and made me a massive chipleader. I mean...MASSIVE...with over 150k in chips.

Well then something absolutely retarded happened. That guy only had ...oh it must have been about 3200 left...I pick up 79 on the button and decide to just let the SB take care of this guy. Blinds were 800/1600 so it was kind of a no brainer. And plus the SB had about 80k...so when he CALLED the blind....I never would have dreamed that he would fold when the guy went all in. But he did just that. I was just frozen. HUH? I mean...that was almost an illegal act! Who folds there? But he did. As it turns out...this guy is also just kind of clueless. He had spent the entire day listening to his BOSE headphones while reading the latest David Baldacci book...my new favorite author. When I asked him how he could fold there...he says..."I only had 2-6....I didn't want to double him up."

Okay...so then FOLD preflop.....once you limp in your in there! In fact, don't even look at your cards. Holy cow!

Well, now shorty just starts jamming every hand. He jammed in the SB...and won. Jammed on the button, and won. Thats it. He needs to be stopped. He jammed on my BB...and I called his ass, with J8c. He had K6...okay I'm live and suited. I whacked him with a flush. My stack was growing.

Once we were three handed my final table experience really began to show...I was just chipping away at these guys...and had the old guy down to only 24000. Then I get 10's on the button and raise him from 1500/3000 to 8500. He announces raise...I mean, we all know he only has one raise...but it took him an eternity to finally get his raise together...and he doesnt go all in. He raises another 10k. Yeah yeah....whatever, I'll put you all in. He calls and turns over 55. Cool....Dan Fouts is dealing....no kidding, his name is REALLY Dan Fouts. Flop..... A-2-5. Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Dammit! And I fail to hit a ten or go runner runner for a split pot straight. And this guy suddenly chips up to over 50k. OMG. No...don't do this to me.

Then...and this one REALLY sucks...the old man gets a GIFT of about 50k in chips...when music/book guy doesnt hear the dealer tell him the old man is all in on a queen high flop...and goes to make a bet, only it constitued a CALL of the guys all in. Oh wow...old man has AA. It holds. Now Book Boy is crippled and Old Man luckbox over there is getting dangerous...up to about 125k now...with me sitting on over 200k. A few hands later I raise the shortstack with A3. He goes all in for not much more and turns over A9. Hmmm...okay....

"Well, you are ahead, but I have a wheel draw. Okay Dan...make up for those fives and hit me!"

He does...he flops me a 3...and it holds, and I eliminate the other guy. Thanks Dan! So now we are down to heads up. All I need to do is avoid a suckout disaster against this guy...and I FINALLY pick up a ring! First place was $5800...2nd was $3100...but I really just wanted a victory, and a ring. The old guy wanted to chop it....and I'm 100% sure that I would have walked away with the ring...but dammit, that is NOT how I want to win my first ring. I want to WIN it. Not be handed it. Its not how I am wired!

I was killing him heads up...pretty much every time he limped in, I would let him...and then just outplay him after the flop. I never had to bet much to get him out...so it was a gradual process of whittling him away.

He limps in on me with A7. I check with A6. The flop comes A-8-5. He checks. I check. The turn in another ace. Nice! Now he sticks 1000 out there...even though the blinds are 2k/4k. Huh? This again...me and the dealer kind of snicker.

"It has to be 4000 sir." Ohhh...okay, 4 thousand then...."a value bet," he claims.

"Yeah? Okay, I raise to 12,000."

He goes all in....and in my head I am thinking...THIS IS IT...this is the win...my first ring....yeah baby yeah! I call!!!!  And I see his A7. Oh shit....can I get a 6, or an 8 or a 5 on the river please????  River? a SEVEN!!!!  Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no....son of a bitch. I just stand there staring at Adam and his bald head....and this old guy....as my chips go sliding to the other side of the table. This is NOT happening! He now holds a massive chiplead over me. I am feeling sick to my stomach.

But I get it together...I slowly start to chip away at him again. I get from 7 to1 down to only 3 to 1 down....I am starting to regain hope.

Then it happens. He limps on the button for 4k again. I look down at AhKd. I raise, big...to like 20k. He fumbles around...and finally calls. CALLS? WTF? Okay...well, I pull a bold move and announce that I am all in, in the dark....and shove my stack...about 75k in the middle. Which looks genius when the flop comes 7 high...ALL HEARTS! I mean...could you ASK for a better flop? Then he CALLS! I am fearing nothing here...and turns over KJ.....with a Jack of hearts. Perfect! I mean....PERFECT! All he can hit here is a J...on of three cards in the deck. Thats IT! So what does Adam do? He puts the Jack of diamonds on the turn. And the 7 of spades on the river. I lose it. I say nothing, but I march to the bathroom and freak out. I can't remember being more completely sick.

Once again....a win that was right there....POOF....gone! I couldn't speak to anyone for half an hour or so. I go over to my remaining stack at the 7pm table and get 'Mark Cain'd' with the AK....then eventually go get my pay out. No, I didn't stiff the dealers. Although I might have if I had went to the payouts right away. But that would have been childish. I just have to suck it up and realize that shit happens. I should be happy with my 6th final table of this event...and the 3k I got for 2nd place, right? But...somehow, I wasn't.

I decide to go get some sushi at Tien. I walk in there at about 10pm...and they are still open. The sushi counter is open. I go to make my way there and get intercepted and cut off by a very sassy/rude hostess who obviously has fallen in love with the tiny amount of power afforded her by the management. "can I help you!??"  I would like to go eat at the sushi counter. "I can seat you!"  Um...can't I just walk over there and sit down? I mean...there are like 15 empty seats.  "Do you have a reservation? Can I have your name please?" What? Why? No! Can I just please go eat?  She finally lets me escape her. Jeezuz what the hell. I sit down, and they have these chairs that spin on their base...I have my hands on the base of the chair and go to spin around in my chair and my finger gets crushed. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know that feeling when you hit your finger with a hammer? Or slap your finger in the door? Imagine this feeling. I got up and quickly ran out of the restaurant, and horrible pain. I just sat there waiting for the pain to stop....she comes down there..."are you okay? Do you need ice?" No! I just need you to leave me the hell alone while I wait for the pain to stop.

I eventually go back in there...but as I try to look over the menu...and my finger continues to throb...I just couldn't find my appetite again...I just got up and walked out.

I went down to Chill and met "Bozz" and Jim Sterling for some drinks and conversation. It actually ended up being a pretty fun night...as one of the IP's cocktail waitresses was having a birthday party...and since I know most of those girls pretty well, we all had a fun night. A couple of the massage girls were there too, so it was a good time. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 1am...about the time Squirrel got off work, and I was anxious to get home to see her so I left.

I guess overall it was a good day. Another 'too long' blog and now it is 12:07 and I have got to get my ass back down there for the $550. How many will show up for this one? Could be scary. That three-team deal is at 7pm tonight. That could be fun...if I end up having to play it. Before I went to sleep last night, I jumped on Full Tilt...did the Rush Poker thing....playing PLO H/L...buying in for $40 and running it up to $180 before I logged off. I love that. Okay...thas all folks!!!

MONKEY

Only 30 today. Just got to Final Table with a healthy stack. Only paying 3. $5800 for the win. And that damn ring!!!

Scoopin a win at the I.P.

Last fall I did something I have never done before....I cashed in an Omaha tourney. And I did it twice. And honestly, I felt very good about it. On the first day, I played a Omaha Limit H/L game...and when I got down to 3 big blinds with 17 left thought I was dead. Then I went on the heater from hell...which took me to the Final Table with a massive chip lead, and never looked back in notching the win. The next day, I nearly repeated the feat in the Omaha Pot Limit tourney....but fell short finishing 3rd.

So when I busted out of Tuesday's noon event and got a chance to play the Omaha Limit tourney again, I was hoping for history to repeat itself. It didn't. But I did take 3rd place...which was pretty cool.

Yesterday I showed up for the noon $340 and was treated to some of the wackiest shit I have seen at a poker table in years...maybe ever. I had two or three of the most ridiculous players ever put on the planet Earth. When I tell you I arrived with 13 minutes left in Level 1...and never played a single hand until Level 3...I am not kidding?

Why? Well, partially because I didnt get even a 'playable' hand that whole time. But even with lousy cards I will typically get in there and try to do something early. No way. Not at this table. Not with raises anywhere from 6x to 20x going on. I had James Reed at my table again...who was on my left the day before and went out in overly frustrating fashion. Him and I were watching these plays and just kind of looking at each other faces and trying not to start laughing.

I could probably share with you about 15 hands that would make you fall out of your chair....but that would take too long. Most of them involved this guy who was, well...I would have to say, missing part of his brain. Almost nothing that he did make one lick of sense. I think this play was my favorite:

With the blinds 50/100....thats right....50 and 100, the field folded around to this clown in the SB...he decides to limp in for 100. The big blind, who was just as much a moron (if not more) than this guy....makes it 1000. You heard me....ONE THOUSAND to go! They both have about 8500 in their stacks mind you. 'Ricky the Rancher' decides....no problem, and calls! Calls 1000. Hey hey, lets see a flop, shall we?

Flop comes 4-7-Q....rainbow.

Small blind checks. And our over-bettor in the BB bets out....THREE THOUSAND! To which the guy in the SB announces all in! Another 5k. The big blind SNAP CALLS...and turns over, no BIG surprise...unless you consider calling off 8k in chips with a Q on the board, and yourself holding Jacks a surprise. Yup. Well, I guess if he didn't think the guy had a Q it was a good call (?????) right? Well, his 'read' was correct...as "Roger the Ranch hand" turns over 4-7 offsuit. Oh yeah baby....he called a 1k raise with 4-7 and then flopped two pair with it...AND got it to hold up.

After seeing that hand go down, and several just like it, I pretty much resigned my fate to needing a number of miracles to emerge from this field with a cash. When I finally got around to playing a hand, it was with AQh....raising and getting called by AJ...flopping Q-4-4 and taking down a pot finally.

I will just cut to the chase in the interest of going to the mall for some much needed items before today's tourney. I was limping into hands for 200...only to have nutbags raise to 900 or more down river. I had one where I limped in for 200 with 7c8c...had the psycho raise to 900 and decided to call and try to hit paydirt on him. Well when the flop came 9c-5c-4h I started drooling. I checked to him with the intention of raising any bet he made. But he checked. I was 100% certain there was NO WAY I wasn't going to hit either the straight or the flush....so when the 2 of spades hit the turn I decided to go ahead and check again and let the clown bet it. Again...he checks. Dammit. Then when Mark Cain...my little dealer of doom this spring delivers a non-club 3 on the river and I make the decision to bet out 1700....I suddenly look at the board....9-5-4-3-2.....and think to myself..."Oh shit! You KNOW this stupid fucker has AK or AQ....and there is no way in HELL he will convince himself that I have a 6 and fold" but it was too late. So when he starts this Hollywood 101 act...I know he is about to raise. "How much is that? 1700?"

Oh for chrissakes pal, just raise you idiot and hurry up with it. Which, honestly was pretty stupid, because if I have ANY ace right there we are just chopping it...but if I have a 6 the dumb fool is going to certainly double me up! Why couldn't I have had 67 there instead of 78!?? Well he is in the middle of doing his raise and I have already fired my cards into the much, the dealer is ready to move on to the next hand...and he is still in the process of assembling his bet.

Dealer: "um sir, the hand is over, he folded...."

That crippled me. Then I stopped caring. Started limping then with a lot of hands...missing most...then I'm in the BB with Qc10c and the guy UTG raises my BB...again, which is getting pretty old. I call. The flop comes 10-10-4...nice. I check. He bets about 80% of my stack...like 1500 or something. I'm all in, for 2200. He moans before calling with AK. Thank you sir. I win a few more hands and get back up to a starting stack of 8k.

Go card dead for 5 or 6 orbits...get down to 6k. Then with KQh I raise in early position and get called by the button. The flop comes J-10-7...two hearts. Wow. Nice. I decide there is no way in hell I am folding this hand. I go ahead and lead out for 1100. I had raised 525 preflop (100/200 with 25 ante). The guy raises to 2700. I re-raise him to 5000...yeah...duh....probably not folding here sir. He goes all in....I call and he tells me he has a set? Oh yeah? Perfect. Sevens. Well, okay, I have a 'few' outs here! Do I hit any of them? Um...well, no...I did turn a King...not that it helped any...and bricked the river and I was outtttttttta there! With nary a regret. It was 3pm. I had 1 hour to kill before the Pot Limit Omaha tourney started.

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Ended up spending that entire time talking to a guy who I play with a lot and always see out in Vegas. A black guy who lives up in Huntsville, and is friends with another really good black player, Paris...who I like a lot. You know...there are starting to be some really, really outstanding black players on the circuit, and a lot of them are my buddies. Maurice Hawkins, Paris and Dwyte "The Duke" Pilgrim all come to mind. We talked about some of the frustrations he faces as a player who is African-American and some of the BS that goes with it. Jeezuz, with the issues I deal with as a friggin Monkey, I guess these guys have to deal with just as much crap as I do...most of it unfair. But to a man, I think they all really handle themselves very professionally. Well, I was wearing casual wear yesterday, sweatsuit with my Seattle Seahawks hat and t-shirt. Turns out this guy is the brother-in-law of Walter Jones, who was the stud O-lineman for the Seahawks for over 10 years. I knew that Walter lived up near Cheryl's brother in Athens, Alabama...which is just outside of Huntsville. What  a small world. So yeah, we talked a bit of football too.

Then the conversation turned to my mess with Rio...which shouldn't even BE a mess in the first place. I told him about the ridiculous 'frame job' that Jim Pedullah pulled on me at Ceaser's Palace last summer...and he almost freaked out. In reality, he kind of left me feeling like I'm stupid for letting it go the way I did. That I should have immediately asked to speak to whoever was above him.

"How in the hell could he justify disqualifying you from a tourney for something that happened AFTER the tournament had ended for the night, and had nothing to DO with the tournament? How could he 86 you from the casino after never taking a statement from either YOU or the 'alleged victim' who you had 'threatened?' There was not one piece of proof at all. And if he had reviewed the video tape, he would have seen the guy walk by you and give you the shoulder bump/shove and you could have actually pressed charges against HIM for assault! Ohhhh man, I would have told that guy....look, I have a lawyer who only charges me 'X' amount, but your lawyers for Harrah's charge about 5 times that amount per hour...and I'm pretty sure if I decide to sue you for this little charade, that you won't be working here too long! Or you can just get off your high horse, give me back my chips, pretend like this didn't happen and let me go try to win this damn tournament."

Wow...when he put it that way? I really started to feel stupid. Like I should have done more than what I did last summer. Because at the time...I had just won the previous day's Venetian event, and didn't want to do ANYTHING to endanger my status at the World Series. I basically just cut my losses and moved on. But when he decided to take it a step further and call over to Rio and 'suggest' to an official I am 95% certain was Jeffrey Pollack (who is no longer there) that I not be allowed to play any WSOP events due to my 'episode' at Ceasers (which again...I was completely innocent of) and 'past incidents' that he found by accessing the notes attached to my players card...incidents which happened FIVE YEARS AGO!!!!!!

So when I found out two days later from Steve Frazer that I had INDEED been 86'd from Rio...I was fuh-reaking out! And when I tried to get through to people in the Harrah's office about it, I was completely stone-walled.

So what this amounts to is a complete railroading. And what I told this guy was this:

"Dude, I just basically decided, what am I going to do? Sue the guy for a personal injury lawsuit, wherein his fraudulent activities have denied me the ability to earn a living doing what I do for a profession? And in doing so, guaranteeing myself that Harrah's will almost 100% slap me with a lifetime ban? Great! So maybe I beat the guy in court. Where am I then? Not being able to ever play another World Series event the rest of my life? It hardly seems like a fair trade off. Instead, I can just let them hit me in the stomach for a year or two...until they finally pound me into submission, and then one day call me and tell me, 'Okay Mr. Souther we have decided to let you come back to play in the World Series.' Its a pretty slippery slope. And whether or not I KNOW I have been screwed over, and whether I KNOW I am in the right...sometimes, it just doesn't matter, and you have to pick your battles very carefully."

He saw my point, and couldn't disagree with me on those merits. But then the conversation got a little deeper, as I shared with him my desire...my sincere desire, to capture a win of a million or two in this game and get out for good. Do something else. And he made another pretty astute point. How many wins do I have? How many cashes? What are my lifetime winnings? Could it be argued that by keeping me out of last years WSOP and this year's WSOP that they are potentially depriving me the chance to make between, potentially, $5 and $20 million dollars?

Hmm....well, of course. I have over 70 lifetime cashes. My lifetime earnings...at least what Cardplayer shows (they are more certainly) are around $400,000. I have made at least 25 Final Tables. So to go into the WSOP thinking I have a chance to make every Final Table I play, or at least have a 'fair' shot, is very reasonable. As we were saying this, a janitor happened by with one of those rolling dumpsters....and we used him as an example:

"Now if that guy was thrown out of the Rio...and tried to file a lawsuit for 10-15 million citing he was deprived the opportunity to earn a living, they would laugh right? Since that guy had never won anything or made a final table of any kind. The case would have no merit. Easy case! But in your case? I think you would find a lot of sympathetic jurors. Coupled with the fact that you were being permitted to still play in their OTHER properties? And on top of it all...you have dealers, floor people and tournament supervisors who ALL support and/or vouche for you? And you got tossed from a tournament for something that had absolutely nothing to do with the tournament, and were never even warned and/or penalized during the tournament? And which there was NO PROOF and NO WITNESSES that could support what the guy was tossing you for? Just his word against yours? From a guy who was clearly jaded and looking for revenge after you had been openly critical of his tournament? I mean...if you ask me, it's a slam dunk man. You go that route, and get a massive judgement against them...and they ban you then? Who cares!??? You got what you were after anyway...you never have to play another hand of poker. Go buy your wife a house, have kids...buy some little business, invest your money and have a nice life."

The guy made a lot of sense. And I'm sure if things don't shake out in my favor, and I have to sit at the Venetian all summer while people are talking about who is winning this bracelet and that bracelet all mother effing summer it's going to start to really pissing me off that I am not over there. And why? Because some little jerk with a vendetta against me for doing nothing but telling my fellow poker players the honest to God truth about a bad tournament, masterminds a little plot to keep me from realizing fame and fortune...and somehow gets others to buy into it.

But oh no...I'm sure I will just be a good little Monkey...like I have been for the last 3 or 4 years...bite the bullet, let these people bend me over...and just wait for them to let me back into their exclusive little club. Why? Not sure. I guess I have lost that fire that I used to have that made me more of a fighter. I don't like this about myself.

After hearing of my fate the other day, Jimmy Sommerfeld...who I have really grown to respect the last year...sent a VERY supportive (of me) email to Jack Effel at Harrah's telling him that he had learned of their decision to keep me out...and expressed disappointment at the decision. He shared with him the fact that I had been to his last 7 events and shown exemplary behavior. That he had sat me down a couple years ago and told me why there was bullseye on me, and what I had to do to lose it. And that I had. And that he didn't think I warranted being excluded from this year's WSOP. I really, really appreciate Jimmy doing that on my behalf. Even if nothing comes of it. Sometimes people do things for you that just give you hope. Neither of us has heard anything back from the 'Kingdom.'

I am done with this topic. There is nowhere to go now but forward. Do I hope they reconsider? Of course I do. But there is absolutely nothing I can do or say anymore. It will just be another little thing to drive me to succeed. I am so incredibly fired up for the event in New Orleans. What would be greater than going over there and winning two or three events...snag a couple of rings...and maybe even pop the Main Event...win a seat into the Main Event at Rio that they would have to, I guess, hand me the 10k for if they aren't letting me play there? Then...at Rio...in the hallway during the Series...where they have those monitors..with the faces of all the circuit event winners scrolling across...there is my face! Winner, New Orleans! But where is he? Oh...he isn't allowed to play here! Why? Oh...because he is considered a 'loose cannon' who 'might' do something that would be deemed 'inappropriate.' I can't think of a better way to respond to this. My whole life growing up...when people knocked me down, the only way to fight back was to get back up and prove them wrong.

That is my goal. That is my mission.

**************************************************************

So, yeah...I got knocked out of the noon tourney at 3. Talked to this guy until 3:55...then went to my table to start the PLO tourney. There was a whopping field of 16 players. Sheesh. Thats a bummer. But hey...might as well beat those other 15 players right? Someone has to win, might as well be me!

At our table we had two truly horrendous players. One of them gave me almost his whole stack on the 2nd hand. Yep...I went from 5k to 11k in the first 3 hands. Then...with Ah3hKcJc....I raise light and get called by both clowns. The flop comes Kh-2h-4s. Wow. Flop the flush draw...with top pair, top kicker....and the nut low draw. Disgusting flop. I bet out very light. This guy quickly announces "POT!" Now...this is something, I find that newbies to the game...and generally, just idiots, love to do. I'm not sure exactly why...maybe it makes them feel powerful? No clue. But with 3 or more players in the hand...there is almost NEVER a reason to bet the pot after the flop. But these assclowns do it over and over and over. And usually....you are way ahead...and they end up hitting whatever miracle they need to fuck you...and by then the pot has gotten way out of control, so any chances of controlling the pot have now flown right out the window. Well, this shitbird was sitting there with 2-4-J-9. Yeah..he called the raise with that. He liked calling raises with these kind of hands.

I call his pot bet. The turn card is an ace. Shit. Yeah giving me top two...but surely giving him a low now...meaning all equity in this hand just flew out the window...but I am so deep into now I can't get out. I need an ace, a king or a heart on the river, I'm almost certain of it...just to share the pot. I get NONE of those....and this dipshit takes almost half my stack.

I didn't give up though. I knew that as bad as him and this other guy were...who I had started calling the Platypus...why? Ummm, well cuz he looked like a duck-billed platypus...as bad as they were, if I was just patient, I would get opportunities to get those chips back.

Then Tim Burt showed up at my table. My buddy Tim. And Tim is an excellent Omaha player...so I knew he wouldn't probably be giving me any stupid ass beats. Tim actually made 3 incredibly sick folds against me during the tourney....one of them when he had me killed, but the other two when I had him drawing dead. David Diaz also showed up at my table later...and I went from chipleader to lowstack against him in a hand where I really should have folded probably but the river made me 3 aces with a K kicker....making me think I would split it at worst. Wrong...David had a boat. Ouch!

It was a really good tourney actually. I did actually end up whacking both of the bozos eventually. When we got down to four, it was Me, Tim Burt, David Diaz...and this older gentleman, who is truly a gentleman...rolls around in a scooter, doesn't talk much...but has a lot of respect for me and my game, as I do his. His name is Bill Gladden...father of Jason Gladden. He played sensationally. At one point he was down to 300 chips and came all the way back to take the chiplead.

While this was going on I ran over and signed up for the nightly 7pm tourney, that had 60 some players in. I was going to attempt a rare WIN/WIN! After all, I had just locked up my 5th Final Table on this event...which isn't quite a record yet...I think I made 6 or 7 final tables at the IP event a couple springs ago. In between hands I ran over to play my big blind and look down at Ah10h....with a guy raising from 50/100 to 400 and getting 3 callers. Hell, I call! the flop comes K-10-3 with two clubs. Okay...I'm done with this hand. I check. It checks around! Huh! Hmmmm...interesting.

Turn card is a 10! Yahtzee!!!! Unless of course the guy is slowplaying KK. Which would suck. But I figured I better lead out here...so I bet 600. The initial raiser raises me to 2200. Next guy folds. Oh shit. I say....
"Wow man...I guess you must have Kings...that sucks for me...but it is what it is, I can't fold this hand...no way....I'm all in!"

To which he immediately mucked! Huh? Oh.......okay then.  He claimed KQ. He raised 400 with KQ? Well....alright then. I ran back to my final table. I end up knocking Tim out on the bubble in 4th. He was a little upset...but not too bad. I did feel kind of bad, but I would have felt bad bubbling Diaz too...since I bubbled him in something else not too long ago. Plus, David is just such a nice kid. Well, Tim is too...oh well, someone had to bubble, and I didn't want it to be ME!  I now had a sizeable chiplead and started pecking away at both players. I'm not sure who knocked David out...I think I did. But we got heads up and went on break...which allowed me to go play the nightly for 10 minutes and amass more chips. Things were looking good over there!

After the break ended I went back to work. It was looking like it was about to be over when I flopped top set and turned a boat...but the old guy rivered an emergency low to share the pot and we battled on.

Then came the game ending, winning hand. I limped in with Q-Q-2-5. Two spades. He checked. The flop came Q-9-4...two spades. Nice flop. He checked, I bet. He raised. I moved all in. He called. He was on an ace high flush draw...which he turned....damn...I needed to pair the board...I asked the dealer for a DEUCE...and BOOM! Duece on the river!!!! Game over! Monkey wins! Sweet! And yeah...it was only $1500 and the field was miniscule...but you know what? Wins always feel good, don't they?

And Mr. Hater? Are you happy you haven't had to be forced to look at any photos of me this week? With my Monkey beads on and my trinkets all over the table? Yeah....well...thats for you pal. And I know...all of my cashes this week only add up to $7300....but you know what? I'm okay with it bud.

***************************************************************

I then went back to play the 7pm tourney and go for another win, or at least a 6th Final Table. I will keep this short. It was pretty fun for a while. I would get chips, then lose them....then get them back again. Up and down, back and forth. And then...we got to 10 players and moved up to the 'Big Boys Table'...the Final Table on the disco-floor! Yah! Love it up there. I was ready to make a deep run and take this one down too....for $2200. There was a guy who had just come back from a single black, $100 chip during the color up...so it must have been at the 400/800 level. Holy cow! I simply HAD to root for this guy to make the epic comeback. Only...it wasn't supposed to be at my expense. He went on a heater and got it up to about 12k.

Right about this time Squirrel texts me and asks whats going on. Oh no! There it is again...the Squirrel jinx text! Right about then...this guy, the LSU-hat-wearing underdog I was rooting for raises...and I look down at AcK.

"Ughhh...oh no! Sorry dude....I was rooting for you too! I raise!"

Back to him....and he shoves all in. Okay, I call...and when he turns over one ace I figure I have him dominated...then I see the other ace, and I experience that awkward, uneasy, embarrassing feeling we all feel when we think we have someone crushed, only to find out we are fucked! Well, I do flop a Q and a J...giving me the need for a 10 to knock him out. No dice. No I am short. I get a double up with JJ. Okay...here we go, lets do this. But then....with a raise UTG...and a re-raise by the craziest loosest player on the table, I look down at 99 and figure this is my chance to really get back into this. We have 8 players left...with 6 getting paid. I don't like the thoughts of folding to this guy...and I shove all in.

Guess what he has? How about aces, again! Boooooo!!! I just smile and tell him "nice hand" and watch as the dealer does nothing to help me. In fact, the flop produced three hearts...with him having the ace of hearts...so yeah, I was shooting for a one-outer. Yeah, good luck Monkey. Out, 8th.

I went home...and enjoyed the spoils of being married to my super-hot wife. And passed out. Holy crap...it is now 11:37am? Nice marathon blog, Monkey. Okay...lets get to the $440 today.

MONKEY

Time for a Blog I guess.....updates, and Breaking News.

Here we are...Tuesday night, watching American Idol with Squirrel, after flooding the bathroom while running a hot bath and rooting for the Lakers/Thunder game to go over 194!!!!

We have hit the stretch run in the IP tourney. Just got off of my AIM after talking to my buddy Joe Cutler, who is still in the Main up at Borgata...going to Day 3 with 85 BBs...as he shoots for 388k! Nice.

Oh wait...OMG...I'm looking at yet another irritating, disparaging comment that I decided to go ahead and publish. Whatever. The pettiness, the haters, the jealousy that exists in this game of poker, is quickly making me loathe a good percentage of the people who participate in this 'sport'. I know, I know...those of you who ARE cool, who ARE on my level (mentally and/or philosophically) will tell me not to let it bother me...but jeezuz man, I am an effing human being, and things bother me.

So I guess I am now 'name dropping' anytime I mention a friend's name who makes a big hit or gets on TV or something. It's utterly ridiculous. I've addressed this so many times I'm blue in the face. If you have been reading my blog for two years...you would know these names...long before they ever 'hit a big score.' But its much easier to float by, read a name of someone who just canned 870k or 1.8m and think I am somehow trying to 'attach' myself to them, right?

First things first...as for 'would any of these people loan you money?' Um...for the record, I would never ASK any one of them for money. In fact, I would never ask any friend, or relative to loan me money. I never have. When we were robbed, we actually had family members either offer us, or SEND us money...none of which we accepted. But...if I DID have a reason to NEED money from these people? And asked them as a friend, then I would have to say the answer would be yes. What I DID have were people who play my pools 'donate' monkey to the Monkey Recovery Fund...and it was very cool! And in return I gave them 'Good Karma' free entries in future pools. Three of those people, with free entries, went on to cash in the March Madness pools and/or the Masters Pools. I think its pretty cool how karma works sometimes, both good AND bad.

As for,  'did any of these people offer up any bounty money for the people who robbed us?' The answer to that question is a resounding 'YES'. I am not sure why you people have such a hard time understanding that these people are my friends. Is it because you WISH you had friends who were successful poker players, and because you don't, it feels good to try and belittle me and suggest that I am 'name dropping?' Give me a fucking break. We are all a bunch of people who for years have been grinding our asses off trying to find some success in a fucking card game. You dipshit. I don't hold ONE of these people in 'rock star' status as some of you seem to. And trust me, the ones who have hit big, and ARE my friends, do not think they are anything 'special' other than a guy who had a good day at the table. If these people were the types to win one big tourney and suddenly turn into a pompous dick, then they would have never been my friends in the first place. I do not allow myself to spend the 'off hours' from the poker table with conceited, pompous assholes. ESPECIALLY the kind who play POKER! You kidding me? I run and hide from those fools!

Check my EGO? My head is big enough? What the fuck? I have an ego because of who my friends are? Because I get excited for them having won a big tournament? You jealous jackasses are really, really, really making me hate poker. For real. I truly look forward to the day I win my million or more, and just VANISH from the poker landscape...and laugh the last laugh...as you boneheads who show up for every event...and never make a Final Table...but find the time to log onto my poker blog and throw barbs at me flounder in failure and anonymity. Check MY ego? Dude...check yourself! For real.

*************************************************************

I know that I am getting sick of poker when I make 4 final tables in the last 5 days and am not the least bit excited about it. I'm mostly pissed off about (a) the fact I didn't win any of them and (b) the 5th one that I should have made, I also should have won....as I was dominating the damn thing the whole way until a 6-hand calamity doomed me to an 11th place finish.

Yeah...I know, I've fallen a little behind here. There has been a lot happening this week, some of it I don't feel too comfortable talking about...mainly because there are still some pressing issues surrounding a few things, and I am holding out hope that some things might change still.

Just to recap...I finished 9th in the first noon event. The next day I finished...you know what? I can't remember, wow! It was either 4th or 5th. Then the next day in the $550, a tourney I really wanted to win...we got down to 3...two other really good players, James Ray (oops, is that a name drop!???? Maybe not yet...since 'ol James hasn't won a million or been on a TV final table yet) and Rusty Moorer (who finished 5th recently in the Beau Rivage's Main Event)...and we were all pretty even. But then Rusty just got drilled with the deck...I mean...it was ridiculous. I was sitting there patiently waiting for a double up. Then James and Rusty got it all in...and with 3rd being $3100 and 2nd being $6000+ I would be lying if I said I wasn't rooting for Rusty's kings to hold up against Jame's Ac7c...but when James rivered a flush, I couldn't help being happy for James. Then I got into a spot where I couldn't really fold. I raised with QhJh...and when Rusty moved in on me....I just didn't like what my stack was going to look like if I folded and the blinds going up on the next hand. I was up against 10-10 and even Rusty claimed it was a good call. Well, I didn't hit a damn thing and was out 3rd.

Squirrel made it down for the last part of the Final Table...there is a bizarre trend developing this week. When Squirrel shows up...I lose. When she calls me on my phone, disaster strikes. When she texts me...the ship hits an iceberg. Weird. If you remember back to the Final Table in the New Orleans December Main Event...she drove over from Biloxi...and what happened? I got 'Erin Holt-ed' and flamed out in 8th place!

After the Final Table was over we got together with Floor Supervisor Jason "Bozz" Boslough and a couple of dealers, Adrian (who would later destroy me in that 6-hand calamity but is a really cool guy and fine dealer) and another kid named Tyler who also deals and plays a fair amount. We went over to Claudia Crawford's house and hung out there with her, Brandon Jarrett and some other people for awhile...then we went to some new club at Hard Rock. As we were arriving we were told about someone who blew their brains out in the parking deck. Whoa. Kind of a buzz kill. Honestly, I kind of surprised this doesn't happen more often. Especially with the economy being the way it is...and people trying to 'get right' by gambling their way out of the hole. The club was...mmmmm...I don't know, kind of cramped and annoying. A few of my friends commented that they felt like they were in Japan...as it was predominantly Asian.

Then the buckle on my belt broke. Yeah...BROKE. And my very oversized jeans began to slide down my waist. Shit. Everyone decided they wanted to go to Venues for drinks and food. I convinced Squirrel to go home instead. Whewwwww.

Sunday I stayed at home. Brandon and Claudia came over around 5pm and we grilled out. And of course worked in a session online. I literally went OH for Sunday...failing to cash ONE freaking time! Ridiculous! Squirrel had all her girlfriends over for 'Big Deuce'...which ran until 5 or 6am...when she comes into our room, rips the pillow out from under my head (I guess it was 'her' pillow) and then expresses shock when I was woken up by this act of discreet thievery. Pffft. Thanks sweetie! I never got back to sleep really.

************************************************************************

Monday was a $240. Yeah yeah...another non-P.O.Y. event that was attended by only 61 players. I got out to a pretty good start, as I have in almost all the tourneys so far. The play in these has been pretty predictable. Predictably horrible. But nothing like St. Louis. Well, almost. I have seen some plays...a LOT today actually, that I simply wouldn't have believed if one of you tried to tell me about it. The kind of shit you see online...and think it only happended because they knew which cards were coming. Know what I mean?

Well, I still managed to get up to about 12k, and was in a pretty good mood...then it happened. My phone rang. I look down... 702-777-7777. Whoa. That's Harrahs. I know that number. Two days prior my 'friend request' on Facebook had been accepted by Jack Effel of Harrah's.  Which...to me, was kind of an encouraging sign...as I put it at 5 to 1 'against' it getting confirmed. Coupled with my spotless behavioral record at the St. Louis event...and all the other events run by Jimmy Sommerfeld this year, who works with Jack at the Series...and him calling before even the New Orleans event had been played, and me being able to again demonstrate my 'newfound ability to behave' I could only think that this was about to be a good phone call.

I stepped away from the table to take the call. And for 10 minutes (it felt like 10...I don't know, maybe it was 5 or 6) I listened to Jack....ummm....well, it almost felt like a prepared statement that was being read to me. And I could swear I was on speaker phone. Which gave me sort of a creepy feeling that I was being put under the microscope...like someone was waiting for me to explode when the news was delivered to me that I would not be allowed to participate in this year's 2010 World Series of Poker in Las Vegas at the Rio All Suites and Resort Casino. However, I was fully encouraged to take part in all other Harrah's events, including the upcoming event in New Orleans.

Was I mad? Did I 'blow up' or freak out? Well, no. Not because I wasn't upset or disappointed. I guess mainly because I was sitting there with my mouth agape and more or less in shock. I could sit here and tell you everything he told me, but honestly, why?

(a) It's not going to change anything, apparantly.
(b) Half of you will be mad FOR me, and want to defend me...and make your rants against Harrah's...and the other half will celebrate another Monkey Ban...leave nasty comments on my message board, and gossip around the table and watering holes about what a fuck up Monkey is, and how he just got banned from the World Series.
(c) Jack told me 'if I keep my nose clean for another year' that I may very well be able to return again in 2011. So...since the WSOP in the summer is THE most lucrative event on the planet every year...and affords me the opportunity to do something that will allow me to make a score and get the hell OUT of this game...I kind of need to do everything in my power...not that I didn't THINK I had been doing everything already, but aparantly it hasnt been enough....to afford myself the chance to get myself back in the doors of the Rio. Coming on here, in this blog, that has caused such a firestorm for me in the past year or two...and completely coming unglued would undoubtedly just make things worse.
(d) I've learned...the hard way, that a lot of people out there who pretend to like me, support me and/or share my views on things, are actually full of shit. So I am, slowly...beginning to form a shell around me, letting a lot less in, letting a lot less out...and gradually becoming more and more of an introvert. The stigma that exists among the 'powers that be' that Monkey is this guy who is wild, crazy, and just comes to annoy people? Haven't sat at my table lately. Because honestly, what they would see these days..is a guy who is on the precipice of depression, talking very little to anyone, putting on my BOSE headphones and trying to disappear...and just going through the motions of another tourney...trying to win some money so I can keep living this irritating, frustrating life of mine. Going home to my wife after being gone for two or three weeks, with just enough winnings to pay another 3 or 4 months of bills, and listening to her bitch about how much I'm gone, about not wanting to have a baby because I am never home. So...am I upset that instead of going for 1 to 3 million dollars every tourney in Las Vegas this summer I will instead be going for 50k to 100k in all the Venetian events? Fuck yes!

So there ya go haters. There is your breaking news flash. Go ahead, pile on. Make your comments. I don't care anymore. I have never been 86'd from Rio in my life, in fact never had a penalty placed on me. Not once. Casinos that I have been thrown out of...albeit it 5 YEARS ago...I am allowed to continue playing at. But because some of the powers that be 'fear what I might possibly do, based on past episodes (again, 5 years ago!)' I am not being allowed to play in the biggest poker tournament on the planet. That is exactly what I have been told. No more, no less. I am not hiding anything from you. There was nothing else. So while a guy from Moldovia might decide to come to the USA this summer, walk in with a loaded Uzi...yeah, there are no metal detectors at the World Series...which I have always thought to be incredibly odd...and empty a clip on a room full of poker players...thats right....MIGHT....maybe we should just start disallowing anyone and everyone who MIGHT do something that will cause a ruckus. Not because they have already...but because they MIGHT. Seems fair, doesnt it?

It is what it is. You haters now have your ounce of Monkey flesh. Enjoy it. And don't hesitate to add a little Heinz 57 for flavor.

*******************************************************************

So on Monday....I come back with 42k in chips after dinner break. The average was 32k. On the first hand, Adrian gives me 66 in the SB. I raise, BB folds. 45k. Next hand...on the button, I raise with A6h. To 4500. SB goes all in for 5000. Of course I call. He has A10. Fair enough. It holds. No big deal. Very next hand...at cutoff I raise with AcKc. Same guy goes all in. I call. He has 1010. Okay, a race. Flop comes 10h-4c-7c. He pounds the table and starts celebrating. I am hoping he black-catted himself...and root (silently, in my head...no overtly, like this baboon) for a club. No club comes. Fuck. There goes another 12k. Couple hands of no action, then ...UTG raises...I peek down at QQ. Shit. A guy two players over re-raises to 15k. Wow. I fold easily in the BB. Very next hand...now in the SB....I look down...at...again..>QQ! I snicker. It folds around to me. I raise to 5k. Guy in the BB calls. Flop comes J-4-4...two spades. I just move in. Not screwing around. He snap calls....with As8s. Shit. Flush draw...all I'm looking at...but when a 4 hits the turn...I feel like I just doubled back up to around 35k. But what happens instead? A FUCKING ACE hits the river. I about shit. In fact...I think I did. I now have 4500 chips at 800/1600. Incredible. So when it folds around to me on the button and I look at 4s5s I feel like I only have one move...and that its not a bad 'live hand' to shove with. I do. I get called...again by Mr. Table Pounder...who by the way...wouldn't cash either (incredibly). He has 10-7. I turn a 5....hmmmm...win this hand and there is still hope. But on the river Adrian delivers a 7...and I am crushed.

No 4 final tables in a row for me. I was really demoralized. I've made 3 in a row a couple times...but never 4...that would have been awesome. I go jump in the 7pm...and my heart was never in it. I played like a complete maniac...shoving when 4 or more people limped in...and was actualy doing quite well with that strategy...until with 16 left a guy limped in with KK....and behind 4 other limpers I jammed with 8h9h. I did flop an 8....and turned a straight draw...but went tits up on the river. I left quietly.

*********************************************************************

Tuesday I arrived in a bad mood. And I sat down at the table from hell. Two players who play any two cards. Overbet every hand. Call with gutshots. Suck out relentlessly. How I made it as long as I did, I have no idea. When I finally got zapped at 5pm, I was almost relieved. Plus it gave me time to go by into the Omaha H/L limit tourney...the same one that I won last fall. There was a huge field...21 players.  :)  I almost won again. But didn't. But still...it was fun, I always have fun playing Omaha. I took 3rd place for a decent $800....$240 buy in, so at least I turned a small profit on the day, and made my 4th final table of the event. Kenny Milam has 3, pretty sure he must have won yesterday, he had a shit load of chips when I left...and Pam, my friend from Panama City...who's boyfriend was one of the two remaining in the Omaha tourney when I busted...also has 3 on the trip...so hell, they sure had a good day, right?

Today is a $340...and its now 20 minutes til and I haven't showered yet. So...looks like I will be late again, and sitting in seat freaking 1 or 10. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

At least its sunny and beautiful again. Thats about 5 days in a row of that. But windy....really, super windy...whats up with that? Like a hurricane without the rain and flooding! And oh yeah...death!

MONKEY

Only 53 today in the $550. But we are down to 13 as I go for my 3rd FT in a row on this event. I have 2x the average right now.

Event 1...Final Table....Event 2....Final table...not happy.

I am bed. Its late. Squirrel playing big deuce. We just ate Taco Bell AND McDonalds. I had no idea she made a 'stop' on her way home...and then I made one. Wow...nothing like good junk food late.

Spent last two hours handing out with IP Poker Boss Jim Sterling and Floor guy Jason "Bozz" Boslough as 'Chill' after getting knocked out 4th in todays noon $340 tourney. I went back at noon today to play the noon tourney because I was shortstack in the previous days' $220 tourney...which I made it to the Final Table of.

I only had 60,000 chips...with the blinds at 8k/16k so  would be desperate heading back. I got to the nooner late because I was pretty tired for the night before. Got a couple of nice pots early...then went off to play the Final Table with 8500 left behind.

I found a good spot to ship....at cutoff and holding 10d7d. I got called by...ummmmm J2 offsuit. Okay. Thats fine. I flop a 10 with two diamonds! yeah. Terrible flop huh? I win. Nice. Gotta shot now.

I run down in between hands....to play my SB...and I get AA. Ricky Kesten raises. I re-riase. He calls. I flop a set. A-8-3. I check,he bets out large. I smooth call. I check the turn. He goes all in. I call. Never saw his cards. Didn't matter. Wow. I run back up to Final Table.

I spent three orbits getting painfully blinded down until Iget Kd10d UTG....and, as much as I hate El Diablo (the devil, K10) I feel compelled to shove with it. I run into AQ. I lose. Damn. Out 9th. $850. Sucks. But oh well. I go back to my noon tourney stack.

Up down, up down...for most of the night. I am a bit hammered right now, and cant remember all the details...and Im kind of rushing cuz I'm about to go try and hit on my wife..... :).....but I did, again make the Final Table...which...for the record is the first time in my poker career that I have ever made, and played....two final tables in the same day!

I was small stack the entire final table...then decided to start drinking Snappers. I was running over the table...going from small stack to chipleader....raising with shit like A3...and getting guys to fold AQ.

Then I get KK. Cut to the chase.....I run into AA. Fahhhhhk. I lose a LOT of my stack. Then I slowly climb back into it. I think I am about to make it all the way back....but the blinds are so big...that I am still unable to JUST raise...I have to ship. And when I ship Q9 on the button I run into HillbillyHarry calling me with A9. It holds. Annnnnd I am out. 4th. Good for $1500. Hey....

So....as disappointed as I am...as I ALWAYS am...when I don't win...I think you average 'run of the mill' poker players would love to have made the Final Table of the first two events, wouldn't you? I nned to learn how to start appreciating these things.

Tomorrow is a $550 tourney. I shudder to think about the turnout. But I will be there. Of course I will. Good night  now folks. I think my Ambien just kicked in!!!!

MONKEY

Today I wish I was bald.....

Because then I wouldn't have to worry about pulling all my hair out!!!!

That is what I am very close to doing. Why? Ohhhhh because I am once again experiencing that "the whole world takes me for a sucker" syndrome that seems to overwhelm us on a daily basis.

I am currently on hold, with the Hilton in New Orleans. The little scrub that is 'helping' me is currently checking with a manager, who is about to tell him, under no circumstances is he to reveal to me the answer to my question. Just watch. I am good at this kind of shit. Its easier than calling the hand of a lady's 5x utg raise holding JJ.

Oh...here he is, John...a Supervisor. This should be good. Buckle up.

Well, hmmm...interesting response and results.

First, let me share with you the last couple of days with trying to secure a place out in Vegas.  We have entered into the 'Supply and Demand, Bait and Switch' zone of vacation rentals. One day, the price is this. The next day, it switches to THAT. One day...it's YOURS...the next day...someone else came in and took out from under your nose. It's a joke. And due to the housing market in Vegas being SO bad, you literally have homeowners out there moving out of their homes and INTO apartments for 3 or 4 months so they can rent out their homes for $4k a month, or sometimes more. So the rental market out there is exploding. The smart money would be on buying a house out there, furnishing it, and staying in it with friends and family those 13-16 weeks a year you out there...and having a leasing company rent it out the rest of the time. You would make money on it. Instead, we are now all at the mercy of the predators who are renting those houses out. And when you could start looking for houses in May as little as a year or two ago...they are now going fast in December! So May rolls around, and you don't have a place locked up...you're pretty much hosed!

Our little deal at the Meridian went from $1600 a month....to $3000. And frankly, the way I'm running this year...I am not in a good spot right now to be dumping $2000 on housing this summer. It sucks..but it is what it is. So I am trying like hell to get Joe, my roomie to be a little more flexible about being so close to the venues. But he doesnt appear to be budging much. I mean...this could all be remedied by me destroying the IP this week and next...then going to New Orleans and doing what I have done the last two springs there. That would be nice....but the way my year is going, I just cant 'count' on that.

Speaking of how this year is going. Wow...my friends seem like they are ALL having killer years. McLean started the year with a huge basket of scores online...the wins almost a million in the Bay 101 Shooting Star. Joe Cutler wins a big Borgata event...has won the TLB on Stars...and nearly final tabled the NAPT at Venetian. Liv Boeree, who I've become pretty good buddies with through her relationship with my bud Allie Prescott, was sitting at the final table of the EPT San Remo last night. No idea how that turned out. Other buddies like Pat Fogelman, Darryl Fish, BJ McBrayer, Tyler Smith (okay, almost a buddy, we have each others phone number and are Facebook buddies!) Michael Hallen, Brandon Jarrett, Jason Young (final tabled at Borgata yesterday) and others are just knocking shit out. And I am admittedly struggling.  But ya know, its funny how poker kind of works in cycles. Last year when I was on fire a lot of my friends were all hurting. So things kind of just seem to trade hands in this game.

[ Ughhh this just in....from Banger up in Canada who just called to tell me, Liv just won that shit! No chop. Biggest EPT field ever...it was a 5k buyin...and she took down 1.2 million Euros...which is...I don't know how much. Lets just call it a LOT! When I see the word MILLION I get a woody]

It just sucks that I had to get robbed. Had I not gotten robbed, and had all of my 2009 profit stolen, I wouldn't be feeling anywhere near the pressure I am feeling right now to succeed. It's incredibly stressful. Both within the poker realm, and within my relationship with my wife. I've tried very, very hard to keep a calm demeanor and a level head, but sometimes its almost impossible. And now, when I finish with this...I will sit and do my spreadsheet from the STL debacle and figure out if I need to hit my backer up for a contribution for the first time in over a year. I hope not.

Back to this New Orleans situation. The end result was that John booked me for the whole ten days at the website, poker player discount of $89. Prior to talking to him, the first guy told me I could only get 6 of the 12 days at that rate...the other nights would be around $225 to $300 a night. Ridiculous. So I am not sure what magic lever got pulled in between talking to the first guy and talking to 'John' but I told him that I appreciated the rate, but that it really didn't solve the problem. That being, that for every New Orleans event...they tell us on the Harrah's website that you can get a 'special rate' of $89 a night by mentioning the poker code HWS. They have been doing this for 3 or 4 years now. Then you get there...and VOILA!

"Sorry sir, that rate is unavailable for those nights you have requested." Or sometimes you get...."Oh...yeah it looks like that block of rooms has been sold out." Its just an annual thing...kind of like the pollen that coats your car every spring. Or the tax bill that arrives on your house. You can just count on it. This generally has occurred to most players when trying to book their room as far as two weeks in advance.

I mean, what poker player do YOU know who has their plans all mapped out more than two weeks in advance? And who books their hotel room that far in advance? The answer is: Virtually no one.

So when I tried to explain this issue to John, and explain it in a way as though to convey to him my appreciation for getting ME a room booked, but that it wasn't really addressing the problem, I could sense the lack of empathy in his tone. I told him that I write this blog, that I try to get players...OTHER players...besides myself, good rates at the various events so that it might encourage them to come and play. And that New Orleans Hilton for years now has been pulling this little 'room rate disappearing act' on all of us. So I asked him....bottom line, this question...and yes, I am feeling a bit like Mike Wallace today.

"We are told, by Harrah's and by the Hilton, as players...that a certain number, or BLOCK...of rooms has been procurred...and that once those are sold out...we are charged the usual rate. If that is the case...I would like to know HOW MANY rooms that is? Because I know how poker players operate...and there is no way that 21 days in advance of an event you would be sold out if that number were even somewhat substantial. So....what is that number?"

And guess what? I got a legitimate response. I think that John figured out that I was not a moron who he could fawn off the status quo answer to and have me accept it like a Kool-Aid for the soul remedy. So he gave me the right answer. Thank you John.

"Its not so much that there is a set number of rooms being held. What it is, is a rate that we are able to honor if our hotel is at a certain occupancy rate. So if we are over 90% on any of those days, the poker rate won't be available."

Y'all get that? Basically what he's saying is that its like Russian Roulettte. You come without a reservation...and they start punching numbers...and if you land on a certain number...your fucked! There is no set number of rooms. There is no 'the block of rooms has been sold out' that they adhere to. It's simply based on supply and demand and their ability to make the most money possible. Which...as an American who believes in capitalism, I cannot FAULT, per se. But what I do fault, is Harrah's casino trying to make the poker players think that they can arrive, and book a room at the special rate. Then they get here and the first impression they have after getting here, is one of disappointment, anger and frustration. Who wants to start a trip like that? No one! So what do they have to do to remedy this? No idea. All I can say is that if you are a regular poker 'roadie' like me...don't come into the New Orleans events thinking you can show up and get a good room rate. Because you CANT! Book early. And perhaps...request a supervisor when calling in.

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Brandon Jarrett is at my house. With his ridiculously gigantic 27' Mac monitor and portable keyboard that he hasn't shut up about in 4 months. He draggged 'The Claw' with him...who he is now sharing DNA with. Interestng little couple there. For all you guys who like prop bets as much as I do...this one might be a fun bet. How long do these two last? Let the oddsmakers get started.......NOW!

I sat and watched him play 5/10 heads up last night for about 3 hours...listening to him break down and analyze every hand...even break off the occassional phone call to Tyler Smith to compare notes...and it dawned on me; I simply do NOT have the passion for poker that Brandon does. I mean...if poker were a pizza...there would be no more poker left for us all.

Well, he talked me into getting an early jump today on the online nightmare that is online poker. So I buy into the $24 tourney on Tilt and the $11 ($40kGuarantee) on Stars. I am out of both in within half an hour. On Tilt....I almost double on the first hand with AK out of the BB...just call a raise....flop A-4-7 and get the guy to almost stack off with A10. But then I proceed to lose with AA-KK-and JJ...and go broke...all, of course to stupid opponent hands. No one folds on that effing site. EVER. I experimented last night and played a whole session on there and agree with everyone who keeps telling me I should play on Tilt because the players are 'horrible.' But once again...I will scream this from the mountaintops.....I HATE BAD PLAYERS! I CANT BEAT BAD PLAYERS! POKER IS A GAME OF SKILL! AND THESE CLOWNS REMOVE THAT FROM THE EQUATION!!!!

So in the Pokerstars one? Oh that ended well. Explain what this mutant is thinking. Please.

Blinds are 25/50. Table has been playing very aggressively...doing lots of calling. I pick up AK behind to limpers...I raise it to 200. I get only 6 calls. Only 6.

The flop comes out.... 3s-Ah-7c.  Nice flop, right? You would think. Regardless, 6 in the hand...I am going to find out real quickly if someone flopped a set. I lead out for $450. Dipshit to my right calls. Everyone else folds. Set? Or just a lousy ace? One of those. Turn is a 5. I bet 650. He goes all in. Its only another 450 to call. Wonderful. I call expecting to see 333 or 777. Instead....what do I see? How about 555? Huh? Really? So...this guy called 450...on the flop....why exactly?

This....right here....is where I think cheating online is rampant. Nobody...I mean NOBODY...okay maybe a few players from STL and/or Tunica...make this play in a live setting. No way. So...you tell me there arent those who KNOW what is coming? So many times this past weekend, I had guys calling my huge c-bets, when I would flop top pair...or be holding an overpair to the board...get called by guys with AIR....and watching them go runner runner, perfect perfect to whack me. And come on...how is a normal/sane person supposed to react to that?  By breaking something, right?

I'm not sure why Brandon and Claudia spent the night here last night...as Claudia's house is right by the casinos....and I don't know how long they are staying. Not that I mind, I'm just curious. And confused.

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Playboy magazine, in their preseason preview has picked my Seattle Mariners to win the AL WEST this year. We are currently 8-7...after starting 2-4....and sitting 1 game out of first. I would like to get excited about this, and yes...we have Cliff Lee coming off the DL this week, but they also picked the NYYankees to completely miss the playoffs. So, you might understand my refusal to get too wrapped up in their predictions.

*************************************************************************

I am a lifelong Seattle Supersonics fan. They are currently playing in the sheeps clothing of the Oklahoma City Thunder. Its hurts me to watch. Because I knew after they drafted Kevin Durant, that they would be good in a couple of years....and of course, I was right. They almost beat LA on the Lakers home court last night. I was looking through my Facebook stuff last night and was looking at Mark Cuban's wall...and he had something on there about my Sonics getting sniped by that son of a bitch in Oklahoma...its a documentary that was made. Its pretty good. And its free to watch. If you like watching stories about greed...and scumbags like David Stern...check it out.

www.sonicsgate.org/movie

GO LAKERS!

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Tuned into the ESPN2 coverage of the NAPT from Venetian that I played in this February. I was expecting to see coverage of the 5k event..but instead was greeted by coverage of the $25k high roller event. I guess they are doing the 5k next week. A couple of things caught my attention.

(a) how do you get turned away from that event? They did a 7-table format. With 7 players at each table. 49 players. I happen to know...well, because he picked me up on the side of the road...that Chad 'Lil holdem' Batista was walking up to the counter to BUY in...direct, for $25k...into that event and there was some kind of hang up that I didn't know either way if it was sorted out. Well...I found out by watching that it didn't get sorted out. Now this guy is one of THE BEST online players in the world...and a damn fine live tourney player, when he manages to peel himself off his couch..and 'ol boy IS a homeslice. And he was just coming off a 200k score in one of the big online tourneys that week. So...um...how does he get froze out and some of these other guys I saw on there get in?

(b) what kind of a horrible blind structure were they playing where guys were getting it in preflop with K7 and getting called by J4?

(c) I watched some of the worst plays I have ever seen...three of them by Daniel Negreanu...who, I think you all know, I realllllly like and respect a lot. But wow, some of these plays...its like....you know when you go to a family reunion? And they decide, 'hey lets play some poker!' and that drunk uncle of yours, who has never played poker...decides he's just going to call every raise and ship all in when and if he connects with the flop? You know that guy right? That is how Negreanu was playing in this thing. And he was the first one busted from his table.  But one of the worst plays I saw...that Joe disagrees with me on...not surprising...we disagree a lot on how hands are played...fair enough.

Phil Galfond (spelling might be wrong there) raises with AJ. Danny decides to go ahead and call the raise with Q3. Oh wait...check that. He doesnt call. He RE-raises. And Phil calls. The flop comes Jack high. With no flush draw. Danny fires out a rather large bet. Cue the noise of cars slamming on breaks...screaching....and slamming into a wall!!!!!

Okay poker friends....what are YOU doing if you are Phil here?

Joe....is smooth calling, just like Phil did. He thinks...hmmm...might as well extract as much value as possible. After all, not too many cards coming out can beat you. Oh no? Only a king or a queen. Yeah. And gee...I notice that there is now a pot that represents over HALF my stack out there.

Okay. Fine...to those of you who don't mind seeing all five cards come out..and getting handed your walking papers...I can see why you would go that way.

But me? Um...no! I see a pot that sizeable...and I flop top pair top kicker...against a guy who is reknowned for applying a lot of pressure both preflop and postflop with what could be a huge hand or absolutely NOTHING? And how seldom likes to surrender if he is on a draw of some kind? In this case...a PAIR DRAW? Oh noooo nooooo. Senor Monkey will be raising Kid Poker when he fires out a c-bet here. And raising a lot. So much so that Danny Boy has no choice but to fold. And he would have. And Phil might have won that table.

Another clever play...or plays...I saw were made by that poker icon, Jennifer Tilly. Oh...I'm sorry, I know a few of you might like this ...ahem, lady...but watching her makes me hate poker. Her facial expressions mostly. I think that SHE thinks that she is reallly good at poker. She isn't. In fact, from what I have watched...she is quite dreadful. And her dreadfullness was put on display in this event. She managed to luck box her way to a double up early...cracking a guys AA with her 45 ...but then donked them off in amazing lightning-fast time. Raising with some great hands (k7) and then refusing to let go of them. Whatever...it just hurts me to watch bad poker.

Then we were treated to the 'new Phil Hellmuth' and his attempts to be likeable. Ummm....I will try to be nice here. Fine, if he is truly trying to not be such a douchebag...if watching himself on TV has finally convinced him that he is easily the most 'I want to punch you in the face' player in the game...and wants to do something about it, cool. But as long as he rolls around with that stupid, smug look on his face all the time, I'm sorry I just can't help it...I can't NOT dislike him. Me being shallow. Possible. I'm sorry. But yes...I hope all that...'not so douchey' stuff works out for him in 2010.

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Started doing the P90x workout with my wife. You may have seen it advertised on TV. Uhhh...lets see how do I explain this? If you like torture? This is right up your alley. I mean, I have been going to the gym...and doing 20 mins on the bike, followed by a 15 station circuit workout..and finished up with 20 mins on the treadmill...and it feels great. So why, when after doing the FIRST day of the P90x workout...was I unable to MOVE for three days? My hamstrings...my ass...hell I couldnt even sit down without pain. Wow! But it has to happen. Poker is turning me, slowly...into Jabba the Hut! Plus...its kind of fun working out at home with the Squirrel. I tried to make things more interesting by getting her to do the workout topless! She wouldn't go for it! Doh!!!!!

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Today is my Mom's birthday! Happy Birthday Mom!!!! I love you!!!!

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Okay...time to go do my backer's spreadsheet now...and find out where we are after STL. Ughhhh this could get scary!

Good luck to all of you...and I hope to see SOMEONE show up for the IP event that starts tonight with their 7pm tourney. If the poker gods are on my side...Allen won't be there working on the microphone...but if they hate me, as I feel they have much of this year...I fully expect to hear the strip club DJ-like Allen selling that finaaaaaal seattttttt on a $25 sit n gooooooooooooooooooooooo.

HEY! I have an idea I almost forgot to pitch. Towards the end of this event...there is going to be a THREE MAN TEAM tourney. Not sure how that works on winning the thing...but I came up with a KILLER IDEA for a last longer.....any one that wants to do it, LET ME KNOW!  Here is what I am thinking.

Its a $120 buy in tourney I believe. Per person? I think so. Well...all three guys in your team put up $100 each. So $300 a team. Say we get 4 teams in this last longer...that is $1200 total. The team...the first team....to have 2 of the 3 remaining....at the END OF A BLIND LEVEL....are the winners of the last longer. Now say you get to the end of level 5...and 2 of the teams have 2 players left. Okay...you keep going, until ONE of those guys loses. But....you have to play to the end of the level! If the other team also loses another guy....thus leaving all teams with 1 player left...you keep going. Make sense? This could be really kick ass...especially if we get like 5 or 6 teams to do it. Hell we could win more for the last longer bet than the actual tournament!!!!! IF interested, let me know!

Okay I'm done.

MONKEY

More Reader comments...and 4 winning days in a row on Stars

I hadn't checked the comment board in a couple days....good stuff.

First things first. I have been challenged by our resident asshole to publish his comment...telling me I don't have the balls.

Okay, chump...you win...I have posted your comment, just to show everyone what an ignorant, no-pussy getting retard sounds like. If you think your shallow attempts at hurting my feelings or offending me are succeeding, buddy, I think its safe to say that I am not the only one laughing at you.  But I will address your silly-ass comment point by point.

Anonymous said...


"You dumb fucking monkey. You think traveling around the U.S. and breaking even, useing some old ladys money, makes you a pro poker player? Those hands you describe are fucking retarted!! Ha! I have played at the table with you about 30 times, and every time you call out someones hand, its not even close! Then every body looks around and laughs behind you back. Your not even 7% at reading hands. And you saying you would rather play with good players is moronic. If all the players were good, you dont ever win a tourney. The only reason you get to chop a tourney ever once in a while, is because you play all 1k and under, where all the bad players are. You play in anything else, and you dont have a prayer. You are one of these assholes who dont figure out how bad they are until they are 55!! Oh yeah, kinda funny how you dropped the robbery story, after that amazeing fairy tale! And its too bad you dont have the balls to post these comments. Guess you know that 75% of the readers will agree. Let your friends keep pumping you up about how good you are. You should be well on your way to another break even chop, play it out for the photo and the trophy tourney!!!!!!!! Idiot."

Okay then...first...such a pleasant tone.  Okay...traveling around the country and breaking even...that first one tells me immediately that you are chained to some desk somewhere, hating your life...and your boss. Your wife is probably at her office job, DOING her boss..and clowning me somehow makes you feel whole. Am I close? Using some old lady's money? Does it make me a pro poker player? Buddy...lets get something straight. That lady? She has about as much ounce of good in her finger (take your pick of fingers) as you do in your entire body. And if SHE believes in me, that is all that matters. If I file taxes as a poker player, have no other profession, and continue to make a living, then YEAH...I guess I am a professional poker player...as it is my 'profession' such as 'collection agent' would be the profession of someone like you. The hands I describe are retarded? You seem to like the word retarded. You've played at my table about 30 times eh? Well, how bout the next time you make yourself known to me, so we can evaluate how much of a man you are? Deal? So my hand reading you say is at 7%? Hey...you know what is good? If you are at my table so much, and you think I am so bad...you should have a really good chance to beat me, huh? Rather play with good players than bad? You think that is moronic? Well, you would. Because you ARENT probably a good player, so you wouldn't be expected to 'get it.' All I play in is 1k and under? Really? Is that a fact? This year alone I have played the Venetian $5k, the LAPC (Commerce) 10k, the $2k Main in Reno...as well as their $1k...the $1k in St Louis...and another $1k at Venetian. Not that I feel I need to qualify my buy ins to you, you joker...since you don't pay my buy ins. But just making sure the masses know I am taking my stabs in the 'big pool.'  Won't figure out how bad I am until I'm 55? Really? So I have 12 years still to figure that out? Well, by that time, I suspect the 600 acres of oil land we (my family) have in North Dakota will have finally been utilitized due to the rapidly escalating costs of foreign oil and the supply issues we are facing. Then...I will probably just laugh whenever I play and lose a poker tournament....if I am even still PLAYING poker.  Its funny? Funny how I 'dropped' the robbery story? Amazing fairy tale? You know...on the basis of this comment alone, I would offer you $500 to stand in front of me and say that. Without the risk of prosecution after I smashed all your teeth in. For your benefit...I will give you this information.  Investigator Carl Short...Biloxi PD...phone number 228-702-3115...give him a ring. Ask him if its a fairy tale you asshole. And just to answer your...'dropped' part of the comment. There are only so many things you can say about something, when something bad happens to you. What am I supposed to do? Keep whining about it? The thing is...that makes it really frustrating...is that I know who did it. Someone else who has sat across from me at the poker table. I know his name. It rhymes with 'Toady Stealer' and he lives in Birmingham. He had a team of 4...including 2 former Rounder model broads...one of which is sitting in Shelby County jail with about 8 counts of Identity Theft and half a million dollars in bond keeping her in there. And when she finally manages to get bonded out there...Biloxi PD will be waxing her with charges on her little job at my house, and she will be extridited down here, where I can go visit with her plotting, conniving little ass and tell her how much I enjoy being free to enjoy the things that people on the 'outside' get to enjoy. Oh...the evidence against them is pretty sizeable. I won't give you any more details than that. The bottom line is that there is NOTHING I can do because the Feds have priority over the local cops...and once they decide to nab him, his shit bird brother...and the other accomplices, then I can go on about seeking some kind of justice. But yeah...you're right you idiot jackass...I made the whole thing up. One day, when your house gets robbed, or it burns down...or your wife leaves you (or gay lover in your case) and takes everything...when you have that FEELING of losing everything...and you are sitting there on your couch ( Barney bean bag chair in your case), feeling completely gutted...then you will understand just what a total asshole you are for saying these things you say, you ingrate. Oh what else? Or yeah...I dont have the guts to post your 8th grader mentality anonymous post...because 75% of my readers will agree? You know? For starters...there might be some that will happily pile on to your little diatribe...and I don't care. The joke is kind of on them right? Since I didn't do anything to get them to come and read my blog...but alas, here they are. But something tells me, about 92% of the people who read your comment would line up with me and take shots at knocking your fucking teeth down your throat you coward! Sign your name to your shit, why don't you! And I'll post everyone of them. Now run along...some neighborhood kids outside are waiting for you to come outside and play smear the queer!

MONK


My next reader comment is from the guy up in St. Louis who posted the remark about how badly I played the hand against Tim Vance...we traded a few more...and then he posted this...which I have to say, was pretty stand up of him. I appreciated his comment, and look forward to a future meeting with Mr. JoWeeks97. And for the record, I don't think I made Tim's call POST-flop sound pathetic...at all, had I flopped what he flopped, and had his stack vs. my stack...nothing would have ever gotten me off that hand. Him just calling preflop worked out perfectly for him. If I did make it sound pathetic...and I would have to read all the way back, it was more borne of frustration that I got whacked the way I did. But no...he didn't play it badly at all. I wasn't crazy about how he reacted after the hand...but hey, what can ya do?

"Monkey I have no fear to hide behind a computer screen...I will see you around the felt sometime soon and I will gladly shake your hand and introduce myself. I will not hide behind the anonymous title and wrongly accuse the poor kid from Chicago of donking off chips. I was across from Vance in the 5 seat where we both sat long after you left! I never discussed you or your exit at the table, I apologize if I upset you about the way you played Aces. To each their own on that. You just made Vances call sound so Pathetic post flop. Was he not a slight favorite post flop? Anyway, soon Monkey will see you very soon!"  JoWeeks97

Another comment...this one from regular reader Greg Aumann, somewhere in...I think Baton Rouge I think....pretty funny as he needles me for chatting up the upcoming WSOP Harrahs New Orleans event and running the risk of bringing down some of the Turbo Donks from Muddy Shores, Missouri. Pretty funny shit!

Gregory Aumann - jack king off said...

Monk-


Dude, your blowing our cover. Shut the fuck up about WSOP New Orleans. What, are you TRYING to tempt those mutants from the midwest into making the trek? Needless to say; the very thought terrifies, even the most jaded and hardened of "good players", with the thoughts of horrific bad beats, 9-1 suckouts, and 2 and 3 outters spiking on 5th street left-and-right?! We already have our fair share of clueless donkeys show up for that event as it is! 2 to 4 of these players per table is beautiful. AND necessary. A table full of them...ummm, can very quickly become a nightmare!

Ix-nay the eworleans-Nay alk-tay!

Glad to hear they (the Harrah's Empire, [tongue firmly planted.....]) reinstated your playing "privileges", (aka, i.e.; their right to fleece the players at every step along the way).


BUT, those juicy structures cannot be ignored...........See you there.

And finally, that donkey Lou Salamone read about himself and now thinks he has been immortalized on my blog board. Yah? Really? Okay Lou...and as pissed off as I am at the guy for basically leaving me with a feeling that I wasted that final $560 stab at the Main Event up there...which BTW...if you look at the roster of players who made that Final Table...you will notice EIGHT players (maybe it was 7) who are from the St. Louis area. That is hilarious to me. Not ONE person you have EVER heard of. Nor will ever again, probably. Oh back to my Lou rant...yeah yeah...as pissed off as I am at him for COSTING me $560...now after sitting down today and doing ALL the payouts for my March Madness pools...he still has another $350 coming to him over the $4500 I paid him already. Know how much I am clamouring to give him that? Oh but I will...why? Because I'm not a douchebag.  Plus...he does always hit me up with delicious deer jerkey and sausage sticks. I still cant figure out why he called with AQ though....dipshit. I'm just going to blame it on the St. Louis in him. So...he was basically begging for me to post his picture on here in his smoke mask...and on top of it all, he was making rumblings of organzing a boycott of their next event there if they don't do something to curtail the smoking near the tables. Sighhhh....ohhh if those were only my biggest issues with poker and the people who put on these tourneys. Okay Lou...you win...here you are!

                                 Doctor Lou Salamone...aka..."Big Fuckin Donkey"

Okay so where was I? Not sure...just whipped up some Ramen noodles, the cheapest meal on the planet. Why are those so freaking good? Visited the gym two days ago...and would have gone again yesterday but was way too sore. But I did manage to get the yard work completed. Is it just me, or after mowing the lawn...does everyone just sit there and admire it for about 14 minutes before going into the house?

This is going to come as a huge shock...but I have had 4 winning days in a row on Pokerstars. As a matter of fact I am nearly in the top 100 of the weekly TLB right now after this little run. But with only a day left, and Saturday being the 'Day of Mutants' usually, I probably won't break through. But I have managed to run my account from $422 on Monday to $2346 when I woke up today. There have been a lot of deep runs that fell short of big scores...in the $11 MTT on Thursday, with 2361 players...I was sitting 4th in chips with 20 left and getting pretty pumped about a $4100 score. But then I go completely card dead...and find no spots to get it in...and when I finally have a chance to do something to snare some blinds...I raise with K10...with 10 left. I get flatted. Flop comes 9 high. Figure its a good place to shove...with two overs...and hoping the guy called with a decent ace...and can fold to a 100k shove. (blinds were 5k/10k) but I was wrong...he played QQ very well. It held, and I was out 10th. What a bummer.

Then last night...after having a day of not doing so hot...I get down to 5 in a $12/180...and my AK loses to A10...and I go out 5th, very annoyed with the $128 cash. But in the final one of the night...another $12/180...I am shortstack with 9 left...but with a bit of patience, and a few good position jams...I manage to get three handed. The chipleader has been running over the table. I get heads up with him. And we end up playing for 30 to 45 minutes in a great heads up match. I get a huge double up. Then take the lead. Then he sucks out on me to take it back....it was back and forth...and I just felt destined for another 2nd place finish in this thing. I have gotten 2nd in these about 5 or 6 times this year...but havent WON one in about a year. Well...that all changed....I raised him with A5 suited. He re-raised me...this was it....time to take a stand...and he gets it all in with me holding K10. The DEVIL! El Diablo!!!! No! I close my eyes...and just wait for that sound that Pokerstars makes when you have either won or lost. It held! I won. $596. Nice! That felt good. And with that...I turned off the computer, called my dogs up to the bed...and we all fell asleep to 'Casino' on HBO...still a great movie.

Time to get back online and go for a 5th winning day in a row! (ThePokrMnky) Lets see what happens!!!  Have a great weekend.

Monkey