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Sunday, July 3, 2022

"There's This Player Everyone Used to Call Monkey"

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[I went back and forth in my head, debating with myself, on which approach I would take in writing this post. First person account? Third person? Past tense, present tense? I don't know. If you've never known me, heard of me...anything? Or whether you've known me quite well over the past 10-15 years or longer...you'll hopefully comprehend what you are about to read]

Once upon a time, there was this poker player the people called "The Poker Monkey." He was brash, loud, extremely opinionated, controversial, often obnoxious...especially if he didn't like you. He was also incredibly sarcastic...so much so, that if you didn't possess the ability to sufficiently interpret sarcasm, you might think he was directly and intentionally trying to offend you. It made for some very spicy encounters at the poker table. But on top of all of that, "Monkey" was a guy who LOVED the excitement of playing poker tournaments. He came fired up. He quickly made it his mission to chat up his table, getting to know everyone while introducing himself. Some thought this was ploy, that he was essentially throwing out a "dragnet" to gather information on his table mates. Others thought it was just "Monkey being Monkey." Somewhere in between those two, lies the actual truth. 

For close to a decade, "Monkey" was a regular on the poker tournament circuit. Initially, when he started out...he was a quintessential "grinder" on the circuit, playing in whatever tournaments he was able to get himself into by winning Sit-N-Go's. Rumor has it, there has never been a player who has registered more SNG's played than "Monkey." And in a place he himself coined "Sit N Go Land" there is a diminished popularity in the current tournament landscape in these single-table satellites utilized to help players get into tournaments by spending a little to gain a lot. I'm not sure WHY this happened...but it definitely did. Poker went through a transition from a game that virtually anyone could get involved in...to a game where you either needed deep pockets, an investor with deep pockets, or a vast network of friends, family or poker acquaintances who were willing to buy a "piece of your action." Anyone who has played poker long enough, knows that the variance in poker makes it extremely difficult to play full time and be profitable. 

This guy, "Monkey," he was lucky. He'd been running sports pools for quite awhile and had developed a pretty big network of people who trusted him enough with their money to get involved with his poker-backing packages. It enabled him to keep playing on a regular basis. Eventually, one person decided that they wanted ALL the action, and became Monkey's full time backer...from approximately 2007-2010. This would prove to be the most successful period of his poker career...where he would win a couple 6-figure scores, and close to 10 5-figure ones. It was a great 5-year run for "Monkey."

Then 2012 came along. "Monkey and his wife "Squirrel" had a baby...Carley Grace. She remains their one and only child. Carley took center stage in their lives. Monkey's full time backer decided to retire from backing semi-crazy poker players. "Monkey" became more of a stay-at-home Daddy...and less of a Poker Monkey. When he did find time to venture out and play...it was done by selling shares to his network of followers. The results were mixed. Poker suddenly wasn't as fun for him as it used to be. The players didn't talk as much, or like being talked to as much. The rules had tightened up significantly. SNG's were almost non-existent. Nightly tournaments that had been so much fun in the "hey day" of poker...were not as prevalent. It was...just different. 

In the 2012 WSOP Main Event...after 4 failed attempts to ever cash in the Big One...despite making it to at LEAST Day 3 in every one that he played, he finally broke through and made the money. As a matter of act, he made it to Day 5...with a real shot at making life-changing money. With "Squirrel" sending him photos of Carley Grace to remind him what he was playing for...he patiently picked up one more pay spot after another...while sitting on a comfortable chip stack of about 40 big blinds. Then...with just 175 players remaining...acting UTG+2..."Monkey" peeled back his cards to see KK for the first time in the entire tournament. He had wondered where they had been. He'd had AA a bunch of times. But KINGS? Not once. He put in a 2.5x raise. The action folded around to Elisabeth Hille, who had just won a massive pot against a young kid who admittedly had grown infatuated with the prospect of having his hands shown on ESPN. Those cameras were all over the floor..as we were down to just 18 tables. He made a horrible, just ridiculous play with AK...when all of us KNEW 99.9% that Elisabeth had AA. The kid couldn't get away from it, and Ms. Hille inherited his entire stack. 

Her inheriting his stack, is what made it possible for her to play the hand the way she did against "Monkey." She admitted that she'd grown aware of his tight play all day. That when he raised in early position, she wasn't sure how good her 10-10 was. But now that she had chips...she could afford to play around a little. Once Monkey's raise made it to her...she bumped it up even more. It folded back around to "Monkey" and upon inspection of his stack size, relevant to the money now in the pot...it was obvious that he had two moves; fold and live to pick up more spots, and question the fold for the rest of his life probably...or shove all in and see what happens. He chose the right option, option B. It was a relief when he saw that she didn't have AA, or for that matter...even AK. All of that relief went down the drain however when the dealer put a 10 on the flop. It did, however, come with 3 hearts...and with Monkey holding two red Kings...he was not out of it yet. He WAS out of it on the turn however...as Hille made quad tens. "Monkey's" 2012 WSOP Main Event was over...busting in 175th place. Hille would finish just shy of the final table...in 10th place. Little did "Monkey" know...but this would be his final appearance in the WSOP Main Event for awhile. Maybe ever. 

....TO BE CONTINUED!