FINALLY....a NOONER cash!!!

Details to follow...as I just woke up and have to get to today's tourney...but yes....red snappers were ordered, a good time was had by all, and my streak of non-cashes in noon tourneys was snapped! Finally!

Now...off to take a shower and go back and do it again!

Monkey

90 left in nooner. Avg stack is 30k. I'm sitting on 105k. One time in a nooner this year?

Off to a pretty good start today. Have 22k at break. A decent field of 257 on a monday. Let's see if we can finally have a nice, smooth, disaster-free day for once!!!!!

Reallllly Testing my Meds!

Uggghhhhh....Deep sigh.....breathe Monkey....breathe!!!!

I'm telling you, I am really, really being tested to the full limits of my tolerance this week.

Today is Sunday, and I will not be going to the Beau Rivage today. I have some tournaments at my favorite online poker room to play and I have two fantasy football drafts. That and I hope to clear my head from the brutal beatdowns I have been taking the last three days.

I really felt good going into this week...really did, and was confident that I would fatten up my bankroll. Wrong.

I was 0 for 8 in SNG's before I finally chopped one last night before the 7pm nightly tourney. I played 5 yesterday. In 3 of them I finished 4th. Irritating. And in two of them I was out on the first HAND! Once flopping trips only to be outkicked and once flopping top two (AJ on an AJ10 board, to a guy with AQ who rivered a K) only to lose to a straight.

Two nights ago, I admittedly made a bad play in the nightly. It was one of those deals where I was up and down all night...and at 300/600 and a guy raising UTG to 1800, I looked at JJ and totally misplayed it. I re-raised...to a number that was way too high, 5500...so that when the guy three seats down went all in, and I looked at 7500 left in my stack...and close to 20k in the pot...I was in a sticky spot. Shit. There was NO WAY I was good. I knew it. All I could hope for was that he had AK. No really a nice spot to be in. Had I raised to 3500 or 4000 and left myself 9k or so behind, it would have been a lot easier to fold. Or just freaking flatted...which is something I do a LOT with JJ vs. an early position raiser. But this guy raising had been very active...so I thought re-raising was the right move against him.

Well, I decided I didn't feel like going back to grinding a shortstack...and made a stupid call. He flipped over KK...yep, knew it. I did pick up an open ended draw on the turn...but I don't ever hit those, and wouldn't there. I was out. Booo! And went home.

My noon tourneys have been a joke. In the first one...I got chips early...then got blinded down to almost nothing (6500) before getting two huge double ups...and seemed to be coasting with 30k when we had gotten to 600/1200. Then I lose three hands in a row...all of them ahead preflop, got two outed on two of them, and rivered on the 3rd by a flush. The 3rd one put me out.

Yesterday, I sit down, have 3 maniacs at the table, including this guy from the day before who had taken a liking to me...but the feeling wasnt mutual, based solely on the simple fact that he is one of those guys who never folds. This guy put more stupid beats on people, it was just disgusting. Myself included. He told me he only played cash game...this it was the 4th tourney he had ever played. I didn't 'dislike' him per se...I just got sick of him beating my good hands with total garbage....like K8 vs. my QQ.

The tone was set early when this lady...who at first I thought was an older fella...but then discovered...whoops, not a fella; she starts the action by raising from 25/50 to 600! With just one limper in the hand. Then on the button, with NO action behind her...raises 500. Huh? Then after everyone folds says "I was hoping someone would play with me there." Really? Like who? The guy with AA? Cuz thats the ONLY action your getting there with that hairbrained raise.

I have had more players come up to me with "Monkey...dude...you are NOT going to believe this hand I just saw on my table!!!"

Um, folks...yes, yes I will! Because I have spent three days watching it over and over myself. There is nothing you can tell me that will shock me. In the nightly last night...which again I got deep in before this, ahem....g-e-n-t-l-e-m-a-n decides to call my flop bet (heads up in the blinds) with King high....I had top pair...then my all in (with two pair) when he picked up a flush draw....only to hit his flush on the river. Oh, he had just felted Dan Walsh on the previous hand so I think he was feeling chip drunk and just felt like he was bulletproof. So instead of have around 60k and being able to cruise to the 10% of the field finish line, pocketing $1800 and being back above even for the weekend, I was instead sitting out in the lobby, on that couch...alone, scratching my head.

Earlier in that nightly....at another table, again with Dan Walsh...he gets into a hand with this lady I have never seen before. Looked like an eagle kind of...with a sharp pointy nose and beady eyes. Dan flops top pair with a decent kicker...and after an exchange of earlier betting, decides the right move on this lady is to go all in. So he does. She calls. A huge all in. With....yeah....AIR. Nothing. No pair. No flush draw. One over to the board. She turns a straight draw....gutshot albeit...and rivers...tada, the straight. Dan handled it like a champ. Sitting there in silent astonishment. Four other guys at the table were also sitting there with their mouth agape...trying to figure out, "How in the hell did that lady call there?"

Yeah...we ALL wanted to know the answer to that one.

Oh but then Dan gets even MORE screwed on another hand. We had some very um.... i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g players at our table last night. Dan opens with A5d. Old guy who has something on his arm that kind of resembled a flesh eating disease...yeah I can't figure out what it was but it captured my attention and would not let go...I just sat there transfixed on this guy's arm all night. Oh...the hand..yeah...he calls with KJs. Fair enough. He bets out when he flops a flush draw. Dan had flopped an ace. With one diamond. He raises...to 4200. This guy SMOOTH CALLS...and leaves 575 behind. Yep!

Turn is the 4 of diamonds...pairing the board...and giving damn a flush draw to go with his aces up. Old guy stuffs his 575 in there, duh. Dan calls...old guy rivers the 5 of spades! Standard.

Back in the nooner...that lady who resembled a guy...was pissing off the table. At one point, she had, after an unbelievable suckout with a terrible hand...now had all the orange 1k chips on the table. They started us out with (1) 5k chip, and only about 3 or 4 1k chips. And since we didn't lose any players on our table...we had a shortage of 1k chips. So I needed to break up my 5k chip to make a BB and when I asked Danielle (the dealer) if she could ask that lady to give me change... Danielle did. Or tried to.

"NO!"

Yep. No explanation. Just "NO!!!" Danielle looks at me with the funniest look on here face. Now, I know I have a thing about making change..some of you know about it. But its mostly due to my O.C.D. situation and liking to keep my stacks relatively uniform in appearance. However, if there is a situation where I have all of, or the majority of...one particular color of chips...I will ALWAYS make change, especially if the dealer asks politely. Sometimes, there are those dealers who (especially when you are in the 1 or 10 seat) will just reach right into your stack and make change. I hate that. Its just rude. Anyway...this lady is adamant. And so when someone at the table told her she had all the orange chips and we wouldn't be able to play pretty soon if she didn't make change...she had a good comeback.

"I don't ever make change. I'm superstitious."

Who do you think busted me? You know it! I mean...what is up with 2010? Can't there ever be just one day when there is some poetic justice? I raise with AQ. The crazy guy from the day before...who is, again, sticking bad beats on people...calls me of course...and so she jumps in there too. Wonderful. This was at 300/600. I raised to 1800. Flop comes Q-J-4....two clubs. She checks. I bet 2200. He folds (thankfully!) and she thinks about it...and calls. Turn is the 6 of hearts. She checks again. I go all in. She tanks. I have NO CLUE what she has...but I am thinking KQ might be a possibility, in which case I hope she calls. She finally asks....."How much is it again?"

"$4275 maam"

"Ohhhhh......alright, I call"

And turns over......drum roll.... KING EIGHT....clubs.

WHAT????????? 1800 preflop raise? Come on.

River? Whatcha got for me Roz Jordan? Oh! The 5 of clubs? Sweet!

Goodbye folks!

*(@#*(&@#$#*&!@#*&(!)(!@&*$#*&()

Trip to lobby. Visit couch which is becoming a little too much my buddy this weekend.

No fewer than 12 people walk by...."Hey Monk...hows it going?" "You still in?" "No way...you can't be out already!" "What happened?" "Are you happy to be back at the Beau?"

From now on...after I lose, and bust out the way I keep busting out this year....I think I need to go to the bathroom, lock myself in a stall...and just sit in there. Because, a lot of those people who try to talk to me...and I know, make me feel better, are YOU GUYS who read this. And the last thing I want to do is be rude to you folks. I love that you guys read this crap I throw out at you...and it means a lot to me when you see me at tourneys and tell me you read this and enjoy it. So I try really hard not to do anything to alienate you guys or piss you off. So after I lose ugly, that situation is tested mightily. So if any of you happen to say hi to me, and you can kind of tell that I am looking 'not so pleased' about something...trust that it has nothing to do with YOU...and everything to do with one of these previously described situations.

Last thing I want is someone running around telling anyone who will listen to him that "Man, that guy Monkey is a total asshole! I used to read his blog, but I tried to talk to him and he just stormed right by me like I was nothing!"

So yeah...I think from now on...cooler beat, donkey suckout...whatever....I'm making a beeline for the head.

I've played three of those nightly survivors. I have won NONE of them. I should have won two of them...and maybe three if I don't make that assinine play with the Jacks. I should have won at LEAST two other SNG's. So instead of being down about 2k on this current event, I should be UP about 3k. Its amazing how a miracle river here and there for my opponents can make such an impact on my bankroll.

As far as the event itself goes...the room is great. Love that huge space they have with all the tables. They have once again brought in some great dealers. We had this guy I've never seen at ANY event complaining about the dealers last night and I just looked at him like he had 4 arms....

"You think the dealers are bad for this event? Where do you usually play?"

He literally told me "I usually just play poker at people's house."

Really? Wow. This guy needs to take a trip to Atlantic City one week and sit down at a table up there...I would pay money to watch that!

Actually, despite what this retard says...the dealers are very good. The floor people have been very attentive and lenient on stuff like texting at the table while NOT in the hand...and have even allowed us a little freedom with talking to our opponents while in the hand. I love that. My only gripe is having to play 10-handed. I just can't stand it. I just wish if we have to pay decent money to sit down for 12 hours or more and play a game that requires a lot of focus and concentration that we should be permitted to do it in relative comfort. A lot of people who play poker are, to be polite, a little heavier than they should be (myself included!). And to someone who is a bit of a 'space-a-phobe' like I am...its potentially really irritating. Primarily if you get one of those people who just flat refuses to move to where they are supposed to be...or 'squaring up' as directed by the dealers. I'm not sure why they make us play 10-handed. Maybe someday they will stop doing this...I will be thrilled when that day arrives. Thats one great thing about SNG's...you are only 10-handed for a few minutes usually.

Oh...man...got a buffet comp from the poker room the other night and went to the buffet with a friend. Hadn't been to the Beau Rivage buffet in quite a awhile. They changed some things. The one thing I really noticed was that instead of serving the food in those big metal chafing dishes, they are now using nice ceramic serving trays that are about a third of the size. A really nice touch. Why? Because it assures that the food stays fresh, and hot. And it just looks better. I was really impressed. And the guy who was taking care of our table was really attentive and helpful. The food was good. You all know I typically hate, and avoid the buffet usually...but I'm glad I decided to dine there Friday night. It was really good.

My lawn is literally underwater. Nice weather we're having! And here comes some hurricanes. Should be a fun month!!!!

All my fantasy teams are filled! Yah! And today I have two fantasy drafts. Pretty excited for that.

Ran into Captain Tom Franklin and he handed me the 5% save money I got from him for his final table cash up in Tunica. That was a nice little boost to the bankroll. Thanks Tom! For not being a welsh. Like SOME people out there!

A certain guy who has owed me $1000 for over a year, who promised on several occasions to 'get with me' but never did...managed to find $350 to play yesterday's tourney. Then completely avoided the topic when I attempted to talk to him about it. A guy I really thought was 'good people' when I was buddies with him. Is there anything worse than being screwed by someone you think, or thought...was a good guy? Its very disappointing.

I can't believe its been 5 years since Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. Five years? Wow. Its amazing how the older I get the faster that time goes by. Best wishes to those who are still recovering from that disaster.

Well I think that is about it. Are you kidding me? My wife is calling me...no, no...not as in...shouting my name from the bedroom. She is CALLING ME ON MY PHONE! I am in the living room!

Bye guys!

Monkey

Okay. New day. When it rains, and I wear this blue shirt, and I lose a button on my jeans...I never lose!

Busto in the nooner! Damn! Hopin for a good turnout in the nightly.

End of level 6. 290 left. Have 19k. Blinds 400/800. Some good hands requested!

Good turnout for todays 1st event. 439pp. I've got 12k at 1st break. Ya! I made the break!

Okay....here is Mollie, and a guest pose by Jasper!

Okay...I hear you guys...stop dangling the carrot and show us!

Let me say this, its pretty hard to hold the camera AND the 'crack light' at the same time while trying to track Mollie...but I kind of pulled it off.

Now for those asking yourself, "what the hell is Monkey talking about right now?"

I shall clarify. I have two dogs. One a purebred lab retriever who is just beautiful (we think) and one that was rescued by people who threw her in a ditch and is bits and pieces of several breeds...but just adorable. Well, Jasper is addicted to this damn ball. Even sleeps with it IN HIS MOUTH! And Mollie, well, though Jasper won't even acknowledge it, Mollie is like a crack addict when this laser light comes out. Jasper cant be bothered with it. She even knows the drawer we keep it in....if we get near that drawer...she freaks out.

Here, for your viewing pleasure....are my 'kids.'

While its still uploading I will continue to babble....hopefully it DOES fully upload.

Just finished all the chores around the house and cut the rest of the lawn. Just about ready to get things started tonight at the Beau Rivage. In checking out their website I just made a sort of interesting discovery. The nightly tourney starts at 6pm, not 7pm...as a lot of them often times do. That I like. And they are using that Survivor format that they used up in Tunica...where 10% of the field wins. Basically, you get 90 players....you play until you are left with 9. The new wrinkle that I noticed them throwing in, is that it will be a $100 rebuy tourney for the first 3 levels. Hmmm. Interesting. Now that could get costly huh? But what I'm thinking is this: I run pretty good in Megas, and this is essentially a mega. I won the last three in a row up in Tunica. Each for around $1500. Well, had those been REBUYS? How much would I have won then? Probably twice as much. Right? So....I think I like this. Just hope it doesnt discourage a large number of people from playing.

Had yet another disastrous night on Stars last night. Once again AA never held up. Had AA a total of 9 times...lost with it 6. Incredible. THREE more bubbles. Always with the best hand. Tried to pitch a deal with HoldEm Manager to save some money on their software. No dice. Grrrr.

Got a message from a reader here, 'Boonie' suggesting that maybe the reason I run bad is due to my 'tight aggressive' style of play. There are a couple things I would like to say here in addressing that. Or would I? Maybe I don't want all of you knowing just how much I have mixed up my game.

I have dramatically changed up my game both online AND live in the past year. I am 'playing more poker' than I ever used to. As opposed to just playing a game of 'catching cards.' I feel that my skill set has improved a lot. I know there are a lot of you out there who think I am too tight for my own good. I will admit, I used to be. Now there are times when I absolutely MUST get a cash to survive...when I will shift it into neutral, almost reverse, in order to just survive long enough to get some money back in my pocket, and then hope I get lucky and run deep once I get in the money.

Online though, oh...I am anything but tight. I play a ton of hands. Why? Because there are SO MANY horrible players online. And they are generally so easy to pick off. But for some reason, knowing what they have 92% of the time...doesnt seem to matter when everything just seems to work against you. You can have a guy drawing to 3 outs or less on there and its amazing how often they hit. My online game and my live game don't quite mirror each other...but the gap isn't that far. The thing about online play...is the structure is designed so that in the first 7 levels, you can play so many hands. I mean....SO many. And yeah, I realize that the more hands you play the more your chances exist to get a punishing beat. I can live with that. What peeves me is once you get to level 15 and beyond, you have guys...guys who are still firing back those one liners when they make these ridiculously retarded suckouts, like "Hey man...its a $20 tourney!"

When you are looking at a 1st prize of $7800 and you are in the top 20 in chips, that is not the quote you want to read from some jackass who you have no clue as to how he got that deep in the first place. To me...once I cross a certain line...that tourney is no longer valued at whatever the buy in was. It is now valued at whatever I am playing for. Isnt that just a common sense deduction?

Furthermore, Boonie...I have actually gone into little rinky-dink SNG's or MTT's with a Tyler Smithian attitude on how I intended to play that event. Raising 2.5 every chance I got. 3-betting raisers from MP and later just to see if I can get away with it. Oh, I know the 'system' that all these agro-aggressive players are utilizing, don't think I don't. But what we are up against, are complete idiots, who wouldn't KNOW that they are simply being outplayed. They just look at their two hole cards...and if they fall in love with them...they are never getting folded. Period. Tyler Smith, John Dolan, Gabe Costner to a degree....these guys and the style of play they employ...is far better suited to live game...and I am pretty certain they would agree with me there. Why? Because there is a certain amount of physical intimidation that comes with playing like that. There is a certain degree of 'do I want to grab these chips here, pick them up, and put them out there' in live game that doesnt exist in online poker. Online...its just...'Hmm, okay.' CLICK!

Hope that makes for a good reply to your question.

This thing says that video is STILL uploading. Damn!

Just recieved, like...my 3rd or 4th warning/reprimand/demand from the wife about my upcoming re-appearance at the Beau Rivage, her place of employment. She is, of course, nervous. Obviously, she hears EVERYTHING regarding me and whatever I say or do. So of course, I am getting the speech from her. "Now Will, please dont be doing anything out of line. You probably shouldn't drink anything." And more. And while yeah, its starting to annoy the shit out of me...I understand. She does have a right to be concerned. Just another challenge facing me in my road to complete my 'Monkey Makeover.'

HEY HEY the video finished uploading! Now....I just have to update my backer and I's spreadsheet (hopefully not too scary) and I will be ready to hit the Beau! Hope to see a lot of you down there tonight and the rest of the week!!!!!

Monkey

Back in the Saddle again.....Lets Ride!!!

Hell ya, its pretty damn easy to get excited about a live poker tourney after spending two days getting totally slaughtered on Pokerstars! I can't make this up...I had Pokerstars send me a printout of my last three days of play. I played 28 MTT's and 31 SNG's. I bubbled, literally BUBBLED...3 MTTs and 8 SNG's and failed to cash ONE TIME! In probably 1/3th of the SNG's, I was in the top 3 in chips for a good part of them.

Proof that my new medication is working? I only freaked out and hollered ONCE. And that was when...on the bubble and 4th in chips (paying 7) this clown raises me...with QJ...I shove...with QQ....and he SNAP calls. only to go 8-9-10 on me. Yeah, I went a bit nutso after that one!

Finally, last night...late, at 3:16am I popped the ugliest cherry ever by cashing in a $12/180...13th...as I took another bad beat. But whatever, I cashed! Then, at the same time I was getting deep in a $12/45 SNG...and with a huge chip lead my KK loses to A7 and I'm getting that feeling again. But I get heads up with the worst player in the SNG....and every time I have him down to one CARD...he nails it on the river. FOUR times I had him in that spot. All four he sucks out. I got 2nd, for $110. Then went to bed. Maybe tonight I will run good...the last night, or day that I will be online in quite awhile as we get the ball rolling at the Beau Rivage tomorrow.

Okay lets talk about the Beau. First, I hope we have a GREAT turnout. I was buzzing around their site getting specifics on everything. Noticed something their marketing department is doing. Very smart. Offering package deals, with airfare, room rezzies and other incentives out of Atlanta and Tampa Bay/St. Pete. Smart...since a lot of business has been leaving because of the poker laws now in Florida, and games and/or casinos seemingly popping up everywhere. And of course, the whole oil spill thing. Hopefully...as hurricane season heats up, we are seeing the end of the oil nightmare.

I've been looking over the tourney lineup. I was curious about the Sunday Charity tourney so I contacted one of the Beau's poker guys over there and was told it is a benefit to commemorate the 5 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and to aid remaining victims of that disaster. Good touch. I hope they get a good turnout. I wont be able to make it because I have THREE fantasy football drafts that day! Plus a seat in four Sunday majors I kind of would like to play. I'm not too sure, after just being allowed back in, that the folks over there would be too thrilled with me sitting there with my laptop drafting my fantasy team while playing poker. Not a good idea. So I will have to take that day off.

One thing I am kind of bummed about is that there doesnt appear to be a $550 Mega Satellite into the Main Event. I wonder why? They have quite a few of those $230 deals with rebuys. Those scare me, because sometimes, if I'm running bad...but refuse to give up, they can get VERY expensive. But one strategy on those is to just wait till the end of Level 3...come in at the end, take your rebuy, and take the double add on. Gives you plenty of chips, and you avoid the early disasters. But still...I run about 75% in $550 Megas, so obviously I'm somewhat bummed by the absence of those. But hey, if I don't make into the Main...I don't. Right? Maybe I will just run great all week, make a few Final Tables and have enough to just buy in if I brick the megas!

Alright listen up!!!! Friday is the first noon event. I plan to arrive at 11am. One hour before the event. To avoid the line. And to get THIS set up. A fat....FAT!!!! last longer! To celebrate my return to the Beau, I thought it would be fun to add a little extra incentive to this first event! So I will be hanging out in the lobby with my little note pad and pen...if you would like to take part in a BIG $100 last longer side bet...come find me, and give me your $100. One event here at the Beau a couple years ago we got 17 players to do it! NiCE! I ended up chopping that with a guy from Atlanta. If I get knocked out early, I will simply pass the list and the cash along to someone else. These last longers can be a lot of fun...and really take the sting out of not cashing if you get lucky and everyone goes out early and you dont make the money but win the last longer!!!!

NO I WILL NOT BE DOING ANY BOUNTIES! Those days are over! Sorry. I know I became kind of famous for those...but part of my 'personality makeover' is the elimination of bounties and any kind of behaviour that is motivated by spite. Well, if I am hating myself, maybe I will put a bounty on ME!!!!

I'm real excited to get started! Spend all day yesterday over in Pensacola getting my taxes done (finally!), getting my car tuned up and the oil changed and went by my rental property and finally met my tenant face to face and inspected the lawn. It didn't look as bad as I expected. Got the sprinkler system corrected, and his promise that he would keep up the effort on the yard. Guy was actually okay. He was painted as a 'demon' by the leasing agent, but its actually HER that I am having my doubts about. Whatever. Just glad to get that worked out. Yard work over here is done. So I am all set to get going this week at the Beau.

What is going on with all these bed bugs? Its on the news every time I turn around...now I'm all paranoid about it.

I have 4 spots left on my Big Money Fantasy League...$300 to play. If interested email me at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com

I have been made to believe that I simply HAVE to get either Hold Em Manager or Poker Tracker. The consensus seems to think the first one is the better of the two. But then they have all these damn add ons too. The first one is $90. Then all the add ons are from $50 to $90 as well. A guy could spend $500 to get the goods on everyone at the table. People are telling me once they started using them, they feel naked not using them. Wow. Sounds pretty drastic. I just don't know if having a poker tracker though is going to help me avoid having my AA cracked 80% of the time. I really, really, truly wish I could be consistently profitable online. I love being at home. Love being with my dogs, and Squirrel, and just being able to multi-table, and lay around half naked...and comfortable. After a full month of playing online, at times 8 to 12 games at a time...and then going and playing ONE SnG or ONE MTT at a time in a live tourney....sometimes makes me mental.

Wow! You guys see this bitch in England who got caught on surveillance video taking that kitty and throwing it in a garbage can and scurrying away? Then when caught...and the furor that resulted, she says, "I don't see what the big deal is...its JUST a cat!" Whoaaaaa....really? It amazes me that human beings like that really exist. It also just made me hug Jasper.

Oh...I meant to do this earlier, but I will do it later. I simply have to share the video of Mollie chasing the red laser dot around the house. It is the funniest shit you will ever see. I first saw her do it when I got home from a poker trip. Squirrel had picked it up at the pet store...and spent hours entertaining herself with it before I got home. I laughed until I cried the first night I watched Mollie chase that damn thing. You will just have to wait for it. Sorry!!!! But it will be worth the wait, I promise!

Alright. Lets go play a session on 'Stars! Hope to see y'all really soon!!!!

Monkey