GARY J, who ARE YOU?

Okay this is starting to freak me out. Gary J...a guy who has made a LOT of message posts...first questioning my spending on dinner with Squirrel. Then claiming to have been offered sponsor money to wear a shirt or patch or something. Now posts that he won a noon $240 tourney. Dude? WHO ARE YOU? I looked at ALL the winners of every event...and there is not ONE person with the name of Gary. Care to enlighten us all? Not saying your full of it...but just not finding the facts to back up your claims man.

MONK

Thank God for the Cash Room!!!!

Never thought there would be a day that I uttered those words. But you heard me right.

Arrived on time yesterday. Had a tough table. Things started awful. On the third hand in me and a guy get about 2k in a pot both holding two pair, him A4 me A3. Not a good way to start. I was missing EVERYthing early. I was down to 3200 and beginning to lose hope.

But then things turned around. I started getting some hands and actually played them right. A guy in the 3 seat, who looked just like Beavis had been making me crazy all day. This guy was so predictable. 2 or 3 limpers, he would raise 5x. If he got a caller...and that caller checked the flop, he would fire out a pot size bet. Automatically. If anyone re-raised him, he would almost always fold. I was developing my strategy.

The first time, I limped with AQs. Two others fell in behind....thats when he did 'his thing' to which I shipped all in when it got back to me. "Too much Monkey," followed by him folding. Then I called his terroristic raise on my BB with 55. Flop came 2-3-6. I check. He fires. I raise him 3x. Fold. Yup.

Things were looking up. I was back up to 10k. Then TK Miles gets moved to my table. TK and I have a strange relationship. We aren't quite 'buddies' but we are relatively tight. But at the poker table? He will take my chips in a heartbeat. He is a tough opponent. Likes to raise often. Likes to put pressure on the blinds. Just glad he was on my left and not my right. Well I get a great moment to get into his stack of about 25k but it doesnt materialize.

I am sitting in the SB with AA. The guy on the button LIMPS for 300. Ohhhhhh wow! TK is NEVER going to allow that to happen. No reason for me to raise here. Cuz I know TK will. I just complete to 300. What does TK do? CHECKS! Dude! Flop comes J-6-6. Nice. Two pair. I check. Check, check! No! This is not going well. Turn is  freaking J. Come on! TK bets 600. Button folds. I call. I check dark...a good play there, I think. TK just says, kind of chuckling..."6 is good Monkey..." but when I show AA he laughs even harder....knowing what I was attempting to pull off.

Our table breaks shortly after that. Following me from the table to the next table is Justin Allen's chip stack. Thats right. Not him. Just his chips. Why? Because he is currently at the Final Table...which he would end up winning. Yeah. From sucking out on the river against me and my 10-10 the night before to winning the tournament. Thats how it goes in this game. You are always one river card away, it seems from either winning the whole thing or having your heart ripped out and losing. Granted, Justin is a very good player, and I am quite certain he made a lot of good plays along the way to winning...but it just hurts I guess, knowing that had those chips gone my way I could have very easily been up there doing the same thing he was. But oh well, I have had my share of days like that...and will have more in the future.

Or will I? I got this message on here this morning that I refuse to publish because the guy wouldn't sign his name to it. It was a pretty cowardly statement the guy made. He focused on the sentence where I mentioned taking it easy on some guys I like yesterday...and not going after ALL their chips. Called me some pretty choice names. Tells me I suck as a player. That my backer is a few not very nice names for backing me. That I will be broke and looking for a real job within two years. He gurantees me this. Tells me I am a lousy online player simply because I am a lousy player, not because I run bad on there. That I only win live tourneys because live players suck so bad. Yeah, it was pretty nice stuff. Not even really sure how exactly to respond to him...so I don't think I will. I just wish I knew who it was. Another person who can't say this to my face...so they post it on here without a name. Thats very manly.

So anyway. We are into Level 6 and I am really needing a double up. We are getting down to about 40 players...from 106 starting. A double up and I can start to think about a win. It wouldn't happen. From UTG I raise wtih AQh. I had that hand about a million times yesterday and hadn't won with it yet. I get called by both blinds. Great. The flop comes 4-7-8...two hearts. They both check...and I say..."Well, if you guys check raised me here with a set, you got me....ALL IN!" To which the SB says..."Sorry Monkey...I call..." and turns over a set of 8s. Shit. I told him "nice hand man...nice play....good luck...." and took off. Disgusted. I did have another fun day of poker though. The whole week was really a lot of fun. Ran bad all week after winning those two Omaha tourneys (1st and 3rd) but still had a real good time.

Well, I would wait around and then play the 4pm $340 Mega. Started great...winning the first two hands. Then on hand #4...I pick up KK. Sweet. Guy behind me limps. I raise. Get two callers. Guy behind me RE-RAISES. Uh oh. I just call. Flop comes 9-8-4. He checks. ??? I bet 250. He just calls. Strange. J on the turn. He checks again. What is going on here? I have to think now he has AK. Right? I move it in. He calls and shows me his AA. Good lord. Again? Everyone have aces against me this week? I double him up. Leaves me with only 325. Which I get up to 2300 by being sneaky and ninja-like. I am feeling the comeback of the century coming. But a couple of bad hands take me back down to 1100 at 150/300...and I have to ship it with A7d. I also have to piss like a mother...so I go all in, and protect my hand. Im either coming back to a double up..or nothing. I can see by the looks on their faces, that I lost...and might have lost ugly. I did. The sideline reporter (not Erin Andrews unfortunately) tells me I turned a flush...only to be rivered by a boat. Hey! Just like last night. How awesome! So that was over.

Started to turn my attention now to the Lenny Kravitz concert. But it was only 6pm. Might as well go with Dan Walsh to the cash room and see if there is an Omaha game. There wasn't but we started one...with Morty (from...where is he from?) and Keith E. and some woman named Meredith who didn't know what she was doing. Ooops. I bought in for $400. We were playing high for a round and Hi/Lo for a round. Things got ugly very early. Dan and Keith would get into a hand together...and on the turn Dan feigns to shove all in and Keith just shouts out I CALL before Dan gets his money in there. He tries to pull it back out. Keith freaks out. A little too hard. Then it got ugly. Floor was called. They rule that Dan hadn't released his bet yet. Keith freaks out some more.

Keith is quickly getting this reputation. Actually, he may already have had it a long time ago...but I was never as aware. He has a lot of people that just can't stomach playing with him. I've never heard it as much as this week. And I feel bad because he is a friend of mine. I even have poker room managers telling me 'yeah he has been a real pain in the ass for my staff all week....they are really getting sick of him.' Its not a good thing. And on about 4 different occasions during this game I found myself wanting to punch him in the nose. I don't get too wrapped up in wanting to bust people. I just want to win a little money, have some fun...and go on about my way. I know how much it sucks losing everything you have in front of you...so I really try not to clean people out. Keith lives for it. We were playing pot limit...and Keith loves to come up with the EXACT number that can be bet. And God forbid the dealer should get that number wrong...Keith is there to QUICKLY correct the person. "POT! ONE TWENTY FIVE!" "POT!!! TWO TWENTY EIGHT!"

And the plays he was making sometimes were just stupid. We were in a high/low round. We had three players in. Me, him and this other guy. A nice guy who had just gotten creamed. He would suck out on me the hand before and win back about $120...which I had no trouble giving him. He needed and deserved it. Plus he was a nice guy. So on this next hand...I either flopped quads or turned quads, cant remember...but obviously at no time was I folding. Well, I am betting out like $25...when I could have bet the pot. But why bet the pot? With three in...you want to bring in as much money as possible...in the event of a high/low chop. Why chase the third guy out? Well, Keith does just that...potting the damn thing. Sigh. Nice play Keith. He has a low draw. A nut low draw. Big deal. About three times he pulled that move, potting with a nut low 'draw,' and chasing out other potential donors. Well I didn't fold there of course. And when he completely bricks his low draw on the river...he ends up shipping me close to $500.

This game went very well for me. I cashed out for $1900 in just over 1 hour. Paid another $60 for an hour massage, which by the way has gone down in price now to just $1 per minute. Sweet. I gave Morty back $35 to get him back to even on his session...after dealing him a rough blow a while earlier. I like Morty...hes a nice dude. I had no problem getting him square. I almost threw Dan a hundo too, but I know he will get it back...which, according to my text messages at 2am is exactly what he went back and did!

So then we went to the Lenny concert. Squirrel couldn't get off of work to join me. So I took Dan, who really wanted to go. Thanks again to Jim Sterling for the tickets. Ended up meeting up with Claw and some other friends and did some drinking pre-concert then went to the show. It was a kick ass show. Lenny is a great live performer. And his band is amazing. The dude who played the saxophone was phenomenal. During the concert...some girls who were sitting next to me, and really thought there were something else...but were anything BUT...were joined by a guy who almost caused me to fall out of my chair. It was like seeing a ghost.

A few years ago, one of Cheryl's best friends started dating this guy. I won't mention his name...but  a lot of you locals probably would know his name...as would a lot of the local authorities. Simply put, he is a very bad guy. Has done a lot of time in the slammer. Well, he did a lot of beating on this girl. And just tore her down emotionally. At one point she moved to Vegas to escape him. But he went out there and tracked her down. Then one night there was an altercation where Squirrel got involved and ended up with him spitting in her face. I didn't know what to do. This guy is about my size, but crazy. And I am guessing a pretty good fighter. I didn't exactly want to die. I walked a very thin line with this guy for two years...choosing to just stay silent. One night at a club in New Orleans, the owner, a friend of ours...had given us a private booth/room to ourselves. This guy was with our group. When Cheryl and I went out to dance for a few songs...we came back to our booth. Cheryl went to buy us some drinks and noticed that her wallet was missing, along with $450. Great. We were all pretty sure we knew where it went. But what could we do? Accuse him and have him go ape shit?

So yeah, this guy pops up last night. And it was eerie. When he figures out who I am...he makes the mistake of saying...'oh yeah didnt you use to date that fucking cunt cheryl, who was friends with *****"? Uh...yeah, I did. "Whatever happened to that bitch!??" "Well, that bitch is now my wife." "Ohh, dude, Im sorry man...I didn't mean any disrespect dude." Yeah, I kind of didn't take it that way at all. Wow. I just let it go. What could I do? Plus he looked like he had put on about 30-40 lbs since I'd last seen him and was acting even crazier then ever before. He leaves. Then the girls leave. About 15 minutes after they left he comes looking for them. Comes up behind me and about knocks me out of my chair, smashing his hand against the back of my neck...my neck which has been fucked up all week. I cringe...and turn to see his face. "You okay man?" "Uh yeah dude, I've just been seeing a chiropractor all week to try and fix my neck and back...but please...feel free to hit my other side." Like a caveman this guy. Wanting to know where his girlfriends went. I dont know dude...they went THAT way...pointing to my right. And he was gone. Not a moment too soon.

Was telling the guys with me the story about him, and told them...and I meant this..."if there was a way I could put two slugs into that guy...and not worry about getting prosecuted, I would. And I wouldn't feel bad about it." Thats how much pain and misery this guy has dispersed to the human race...enough so that I would feel no remorse in sending him to a place he could no longer do what he does. He makes my skin crawl. And knowing what he does to women? Just makes me sick. Anyway....other than encountering him...it was a really nice evening.

After the concert I went to meet Jason Bozzzz at Chill and Jim Sterling...but I didn't see them anywhere. Didn't feel like playing any more poker, so I sat down at a little $5 blackjack table, where I met up with Tim Burt. Him and I played for a couple of hours...and drank some tequila. I actually WON money playing blackjack! Yeah! I know! Crazy right!???

Then called home and found out Squirrel was home from work...so decided to call it a night. I was invited by a bunch of people to go to Hard Rock...but I only have a couple more nights to spend with my wife before going to Vegas and would rather be home with her...so off to home I went.

It wasn't a great day. But it was far from a bad one. I am excited to get out to Vegas and play in these 450+ fields and try to win some GOOD money before the holidays arrive. Although...according to that one anonymous poster, I suck at poker...so I am sure by the time I get back from Vegas, I will be broke and without a backer...and looking for a job.

MONKEY

Sitting directly across from me and looking exactly like Beavis is a guy I already want to kill.

Off to a stellar friggin start. 106 players. Erin the Magnificent coolered me early for a nice 2k punch in the face.

Stretch Drive at the I.P.

Okay, okay...I hear you guys! Four days without a post!!!! What's up Monkey!!!???

I'll tell ya what's up, guys...I've been running bad and unlucky. And in case you haven't noticed, I have really been trying hard to keep things positive on here lately. And I hate coming at you guys with negative news. It bums me out, makes me look bad and just doesn't feel good to write about.

And then yesterday, I was starting to think, "Wow, I might just have something fantastic to write about tomorrow." But instead, it feels like one of the Pokerstars tourneys, where I buy in for $30....me and 3000 other players...I chip up early...hang around for a long time....take a bad beat....but still have chips....get them back...hang around longer...make the money.....then BOOM! Take a bad beat....and after 8 hours...have very little to show for it. Only this time, it was the live version.

Good news first. It's Friday. Its another beautiful sunny day in Biloxi. The extreme pain that I have been carrying around in my neck FINALLY has left me. Now I need to start doing these Yoga stretches and going to the gym to ward off another episode. But it feels goods to feel good again.

Yesterday was Thursday. It was a $340. I arrived late. Why? Because I considered laying in the backyard, reading my book for an hour and getting some much needed sun more important. I was probably right. Who knows what would have happened in that first half hour. We start with 8k in chips. By the start of level 3 I had almost 30k. How? I was getting cards. Like a stupid ass though, I was giving guys I like a break, letting them get off of hands. I was flopping sets when they were flopping top/top. I was flopping straights (twice!) when they were flopping two pair. Instead of milking them I would check raise them all in and encourage them to fold. They did. I showed them. I should have been trying to felt them all...and getting to 50 or 60k instead. But alas, I have a heart...I care about certain guys, know they are running bad, and refuse to bust them if I can help it. I really need to get over that.

On the one huge hand...I have AKc. I get three callers behind me for 200. I make it 650. I get called by the SB (with Ace bad) and three other limpers. Wow. Great. Felt much better when the flop comes A-10-A. Two spades. Checks to me. I make it 1500. I always bet there. If anything...it might make that guy with 10-x think hes got me. Well, the SB smooth calls. Everyone else folds. Hmmm...okay. Turn is a 4...non spade. He leads out this time. 2500. Strange. A4??? Please no. I just call. I am fading a spade or wanting a K. Or even 10 for a chop. I get the King on the river. Awesome. He checks this time. I put a value bet out there....2500. He only has 3400 so I figure he is either going to fold or go all in. He does neither. He smooth calls! And leaves 900 at home. Weird. Didn't see his kicker, but Im guessing it was something like an 8 or a 9. Nice call preflop champ. I had only been showing top 15 hands all day. He would double up a couple times...but go broke shortly after that.

That was it for me for awhile. It then started to get nasty. Raising with AJ a couple times and having guys ship about 5x my raise all in. Folding both times. Getting AQ and raising...getting looked up in two spots. Bricking the flop. Fold. Calling raises...flopping draws only to miss on 4th and 5th street, and losing more chips. I was starting to get very aggravated and was watching my stack dwindle. Not again!

Then I am down to only 8k and our table breaks. GOOD! I move to a table that is featuring this Asian guy who I have been getting annoyed with for the last two hours. Why? No special reason, just the fact he has been sitting on his chair backwards with his underwear hanging all the way out of his pants. You are not 5'8, blonde...with a great ass, a nice rack and sexy back sir. No, you are a fat, ugly little asian guy. Pull up your friggin pants, you're making us all sick.

That was one of two very annoying things yesterday. The other two, I had the whole table freaking out about. One of them has been going on for days now. The other, it was our first exposure to. The first? There is a guy named Allen. He has been running the SNG area. Well, they have also made the mistake of placing a microphone in his hand and letting him announce the noon Final Tables. I am about to stab myself in the ears. As are half the other players. All I can say is "Thank god for my Ipod and BOSE noise cancelling headphones!" Ya'all been to a strip club? Never mind, you're reading my blog, of COURSE you have. You all know those DJ's in those places right? They all sound exactly the same. Very annoying right? That is Allen. Only worse. Because it's poker. Its gotten worse, he wasnt doing it before in the SNG's, but now he is doing it there too. I've been told they have said something to him about it. Only thing is, he doesn't believe them. He thinks he sounds good from what I hear. Allen, for the love of God, if you are reading this....I implore you....STOP! You are a super, super nice guy. All your fellow employees tell me that. And I've got the highest regard for you...as a human. But get that microphone in your hand? And I want to start inventing methods to kill you...like the dude on Saw 1 through 40!

The other one...came yesterday, and we can only hope it won't be returning. Their is this waitress there. I can't remember her name. I met her a couple years ago. She has a really pretty face. And has this very nice southern accent. And she has a beautiful rack. Okay? Sounds pretty good huh? And for that matter, she is also a very good waitress.

Cue the negative. She has a rather large ass. (no big deal, it happens, I know) But you can start marking her down now. Well, I met her after she had been in a major car accident, so upon talking to her for a while...discovered that she had a few screws loose. Mentally. Nothing has changed. Except one thing. She has developed something since I last saw her. This very irritating way of offereing beverages. Its like she went to the worst speech pathologist to ever roam the planet, and he taught her to talk like a fucking puppet. When she talks her mouth moves like one of those wooden ventriloquist dolls. And the words come out sounding very mechanical.

"Duh-rinks. Would a-n-y-o-n-e like a duh-rink? Wah-ter, Red Bull....drinkssssssssss" Yes. She is dragging the s. Like a snake. SSSSSSSSSSSSs. Oh no. No!!!!!! As she comes near I am completely focusing on her mouth...watching it move like someone has their hand up her back controlling it....her eyes never blinking or moving....I am almost convinced she IS a puppet. Weird. So I mention this to the table. Now I have them ALL freaking out! But I have my iPod and they dont! Mwahhhhhh!!!!! So everytime she returned from the bar with a tray full of drinkssssssssssss.....my iPod went back on and they all went on tilt!

Back to the action. Its 9:57am...I would really like to catch another hour of sun AND be on time for todays $550, my last shot to Final Table a meaningful tourney this week.

So my table breaks. I am getting very low on chips, and discouraged. I spent a lot of my stack trying to bust this guy at our other table. He was in the 4 seat. He has a beard. And I had nothing against this guy. He won an earlier event this week, so I know he is an okay player. I also think he has a bit of a habit that involves white stuff. Why? Actually I was tipped off by another player. Then as I started to watch him it became very clear. He was hitting the bathroom about every 17 minutes. On average. And I am watching his eyes...and his demeanor...and yeah, it was about 93% in my mind. Well, then he pulls a very dick move. VERY DICK MOVE...one which you all KNOW I loathe. And it wasn't even against ME...but I felt like it was. This would earn this guy a $100 silent bounty on his ass...which I was only too eager to pay...but never got the chance to.

He was in a hand with Carl Miller. Carl had raised him with K10. Okay, we will forgive him for that. King ten.......grrrrrr....asshole calls with QJ. Flop comes K-10-Q. Guy checks. Carl bets. Guy calls.  8 hits the turn. Guy checks. Carl bets big. Guy raises Carl. Carl calls. Then a JACK hits the river. Not a good card really for either of them. Carl actually makes a big mistake by reacting in a way that suggests he can't beat a straight. Never show emotion there. NEVER! He basically enabled the guy to make the play...and he does, going all in. Which, if its ME? I'm thinking to myself..if this guy HAS an ace...why would he go all in? The only way is if he DOES have the ace...and KNOWS I do too...and just goes all in hopes that I make a stupid fold. Its still a hard place for Carl to call...but his antics after the river card hit have fucked him now. He folds. But he folds face up and shows the K10. Well, instead of just mucking, this guy decides to be the world's biggest prick and show Carl the QJ. Asshole! The whole table grumbles. And when he gets to the 17 minute mark of his trip to go 'powder his nose' I put the bounty on. Poor Carl. But Carl would rebound...and would still be alive when I got deposed in 16th place at 9pm. Oh...yeah, I hadn't gotten there, had I?

Well, since you now know the end result, I will tell you how it happened. Upon moving to the new table, I look down at QQ on the first hand. How fitting, I think to myself. Instead of going all in though, I am almost inviting someone to bust me with the hated QQ again. So I just raise 3x, leaving 4500 behind. Asian underwear boy in the BB starts going into his Hollywood antics. Moving his chips all over the place...counting, recounting...(he would do this about 3 other times in other hands) then asking me how many chips I have behind. The dealer defends me..."Sir, we are not required to give you an exact count of his chips until and unless you act on his raise." Thanks dear. But I respond with "you know why don't we just tell clownboy exactly how many chips I have....4, 475 sir." I think I got to him...he goes all in with a shrug. I call. He has AJ. My QQ somehow wins. And now I am back up to around 16k. Hmmm. Nice?

I almost forgot to mention how my day started yesterday. Not with the sunny backyard experience. Nope. It started with me stepping on a roofing nail, the kind with the flat bottom...then the nail? It was under my throw rug on the patio...sticking straight up. Yeah...I put it all the way in my foot. It bled for 30 minutes...didn't hurt much yesterday, but now as I type this I am feeling pain in the bottom of my foot. Might want to go see about a shot, especially now that I have health coverage, eh?

That table breaks. I go to another one. On the button when I am in the BB is Justin Allen, or 'LockdownTex' to some of you. Justin and I are cordial. He is semi-buddies with Brandon Jarrett and some of my other 'associates'. There is something about Justin that never changes though. He likes to button raise. A LOT! You all know I don't do that shit. I raise on the button with Top 10 and Top 10 only most of the time. Maybe top 15, if the blinds can't hurt my stack too much. But never with shit like J2, K3, Q5. Justin has no such requirements. Well, he took liberty on my blinds. Several times. Only he was getting caught. A lot. He doubled up one guy three times. His stack was up and down more than the hooker's head who charges $20 for blow jobs down on Canal Street in New Orleans.

I took him for a chunk, when after he raised I found QQ again and just shipped it. I was quickly getting healthy, and we were getting really close to the Final Table. We were now down to almost 2 tables. I was allowing myself to start getting interested. I really wanted three things. A WIN! And a ring, and a entry into the 9-man freeroll. And a good score for my backer and me before heading to Venetian on Tuesday. And of course, more POY points, and some much craved local respect. All those things are awesome. I was feeling it. And with me holding 32k...and Justin again raising my blind...and this time he doesnt even display ANY kind of pot control, he just grabs a stack and raises...I look down at 10-10. Gotcha fucker! I hope. I put him all in. Wouldn't have even mattered if I had flatted there and played after the flop. He had put in 75% of his chips preflop...he would have pot committed himself  to call on the 9-high flop holding over cards. He turns over Q-J offsuit. Please let this hold. As I said, flop comes 9 high. Good so far. King on the turn....come on baby, come on baby....hold....get me up to almost 50k here......the river??? A fucking JACK! Son of a bitch! My stomach just sank. Didn't say a word. Just sat there, disgusted. Put my stack at a meager 7k. Shit!

I move all in with A7 and get called, reluctantly...but called, by Captain Tom Franklin...with Qd10d. Oh, I know I am losing this one! But I don't. Wow. Double up. Back to 15k. Okay, we have hope. BTW, Captain Tom is a guy who I have had my share of battles with the last few years...and a few of them have been pretty well documented on here. In fact, I could never stand the guy. Well, we seem to have found some common ground with one another, and I think he might even kind of be starting to like me a little bit. Sometimes, I think if you do a good share of winning, that might be all it takes, but I also think he sees a lot of himself in me too. So him and I are okay now, I think.

Our table breaks. They do a redraw for the final 18. A couple players go out. Down to 16. 7 way from the Final Table. Come on cards. Then this guy raises UTG. With no SB. He had just made a crazy play a few hands earlier with 66. I look at KJs. Oh boy. Count my chips. 14,500. Blinds are 1500/3000. I am running out of time. Could this guy be just stealing? Are my cards live? Will I get another hand better than this before I blind out? I tank for awhile. Large crowds are starting to assemble. Pressure. You know what? This is that juncture in the tourney...where if you are going to make it...you have to gamble. I move all in. His raise of 9k pot commits him to the call. Ummmm, yeah he wasn't folding anyway, as he rolls over AA. Oh good god! Again? I've been finding AA all week!

Auggie, the dealer...puts out a very interesting flop. A-10-5...two spades! But a set for him. That is when I utter this...."Auggie, please dont turn me a flush and river him a boat." What does he do? Guess you know dontcha? Turns me the 2 of spades for the flush and rivers the 5 of hearts for a heart-stabbing full house. I just close my eyes. Good lord. Why? Out. 16th.

I go play a $65 SNG in comatose mode. Drink as many margaritas as I can get my hands on. Do win the $20 last longer with 4 players...so I didnt lose any money. Then get it in with AQ vs AK and it holds...out, 5th. I slither on home.

During the day, I was given tickets to the Lenny Kravitz concert by the great guys at the IP. Its tonight at 8pm. If I go, that means I busted out of the $550. So secretly, I hope I miss the show. But not because I am sitting there getting blinded out...and bust short of the money at like 9 or 10 like last night. No, I hope I am sitting on a huge mountain of chips...and maybe even step away and go stick my head in the theatre to check out the show.

These guys have done such a super job with this event. They have even mentioned that they are going to finally get rid of these stupid chips that all look the same, with the IP logo pasted on the chip...so you have to strain to see which denomination they are. One gripe everyone seems to have is the $5 food voucher they pass out at the dinner break. Five bucks? Its kind of a slap in the face. Players are accustomed to getting either $15 food comps or just BUFFET comps. A $5 food comp is kind of insulting. I would think they will fix that too. They are really doing everything they can to make the players happy, so I have no doubt that at the next event that will change also.

The field sizes have really been disappointing. No one has a good answer for why. But there are a lot of theories. Buy in werent BIG enough, thus not attracting the right players. Not enough advertising was done. Bad timing. Who really knows? But they did do a good job, had a great room, good dealers, and fantastic structure. So they have laid a really good foundation for the next event, whenever that is. There is talk of going head-to-head with the Beau Rivage in January. That could be interesting/exciting. It would pretty much KILL Tunica, wouldn't it? If they do the start times right, and plan the events right, I could see both places running a very kickass lineup together. And attract a lot of outside players. Now if we just had a damn strip club in this town!!!!!

I have NO idea what to expect for the Main Event. It's a $3k buy in. Today's $550 will be the largest so far. No idea how many to expect today either. I will do a live mobil blog when I get there and tell you all how many are in today. But tomorrow is Mega satellite day ($340 megas) followed by the Main Event on Sunday. I will NOT buy in directly unless we get 120 or more. Its just not a good move, value-wise. So I hope to Mega my way in like I so often do. Yeah, that $3000 will come in a lot more handy in Vegas...where I can buy into SIX $550s there with a chance to win over $50k in everyone of them. They are running megas today too...in case disaster strikes and I lose early in today's noon event. But that isn't going to happen is it? Becuase I am going to final table this sucker!

Okay well, its 10:38am. Sun? Maybe 45 minutes worth! Big day in college football tomorrow. I know Squirrel is fired up for her Crimson Tide. That line of 8.5 seems a little high to me. As does Florida's 34.5 over Vandy. At any rate...hope you all have a great weekend.

And again...to those of you, and there have been a surprisingly large number of you...that have told me you read and enjoy my blog...THANK YOU! I have to admit, its had an effect on how I act at the table I think. Not wanting to say anything negative to someone who reads this, or show my ass in any way. I feel almost...I don't know, like I have a bit of a responsibility now to not act like a raging fool! But I am still trying to entertain and amuse you guys...without really 'trying' at all!!!! Thats just me being me!

MONKEY

This just in.....

I slept a grand total of about 4.25 hours last night...even though I was in bed at 1am and up out of it at 10:30. Why? My freaking neck. Its so sore I can hardly breathe. So I am going to see Dr. Bismarck right now! And then I think I will go play the noon $230. I know there will be a small field, but dammit, I have to Final Table a Hold Em event this week! POY points or not!

But here is the fun news today. I wake up, check my messages and there is an email from my newest buddy (well, besides Jason Young...who come to find out I will see in Vegas next week) Christian Iocabellis, thats 'Da Professional' to you internet gurus who splash around on Full Tilt...and whom I also still owe just slightly shy of a grand for a couple of failed prop bets! Anyway...he tells me, and he wasn't braggin, just congratulating me for my two Omaha mini-scores...then just happens to mention that he has made the Final Table today in Foxwoods' $2500 event, along with my longtime pal and regular recipient of my tirades on here, Allie Prescott! And...at to that, Kathy Leibert, who despite maybe not being America's poker dream girl, is a very fine player and perhaps one of the sweetest women in the game. That should be a hell of a Final Table. Not even sure who to root for, guess I hope Allie and C-Ocky get heads up. If you're reading this dude, yeah...due to my previous nickname for you getting bastardized...I am trying this one out. Good luck to those guys today.

Now I am running out the door to see if this guy cant work another miracle on my neck!

MONK

Today SUCKED, pretty much....

Okay...you guys win. I decided to change the font. And since I live with a woman who lives and breathes Crimson....and since all you Tiger fans are going to be revving up your engines for this coming weekend's clash against your hated rival and former coach Nick Saban....what better color to change it to than those of the Crimson Tide. Let the hate comments begin!!!!

I got very little sleep last night. Almost made it to the I.P. on time for the Stud tourney. Pretty small turnout. My favorite game, and it went about as badly as it possibly could. It was a tale of missed draws. I was winning enough to stay solvent...but then in came my new nightmare of a dealer, Erin Holt. Nice girl. Married to a nice guy, another dealer named Uriah. Like her as a human...hate her as a dealer. And she throttled me again. She destroyed me in the H.O.R.S.E. tourney the other day, and she massacred me today. When she pushed in I had 5200 chips. And in 22 minutes, I was on the rail.

Adding to the irritation was that 4 of the 7 players at my table were clueless. Any pair, any flush draw, and any three low cards (sometimes out of FIVE cards!) kept them in to keep calling. So when I was dealt hands like AA2, A23, AKK, AA3....you know, fantastic hands...and either raising, or completing on the bring in...there was NO getting them out. Whats worse is 85% of the time I was taking a good card on 4th street...only to brick 5th, 6th and 7th street...and getting drilled on the river. It was a disaster. I am not positive, but I think its a distinct possibility that I was the first one out. How embarrassing.

Walking around the overly empty convention room I was perplexed as to what to do next. Then suddenly a SNG became available....there it is. Joined. $100 last longer with 'Doc'. Another $20 last longer with the whole table. $65 SNG. 4 hands in I win a nice pot with QJ on a board of Q-J-10. Only problem was, the other guy had limped in with AK. Oh shit. No problem...river a Q. Sweet. Another one of these SNGs where I get the early double up. And then go to shit. Well, at least Doc got whacked before I did, and I scooped up his $100, so I was guaranteed a $15 profit. Yippee! I would call this guys' 3x raise holding 77. Flop comes 5-6-9. He bets outs his original raise. Hmmm. Thinking...."this guy has AK or AQ...thats a c-bet..." So I see he has 1100 left and re-raise him 75% of his stack. He goes all in. I can't fold. Annnnnnnd he has AA. Of course he does. I don't improve. Couple hands later...at 100/200...and me with 1300 chips...this guy just SHOVES 1700. I look at JJ in the SB. Whatever....I call. He has A7. Nice hand sir. Flops two 7's. Of course he does. Of course he does.

Nexxxt. Oh, Squirrel shows up. She wants to play the 7pm $120 tourney. Okay. 126 players actually showed up. Not bad, not bad. She is out within half an hour. Not because she played bad...but because she just got really unlucky. I couldnt get anything going. Every raise with good cards got a walk. Every marginal raised hand that got called I missed on. Then, in the interest of boring you....I get it in with the blinds at 200/400....and me with 5200 chips....with AK...and run into KK on the button and JJ in the BB. How bout an ace, dealer? Let me have close to 20k...and give me a chance to win this damn thing. No? Just a bunch of small cards? Great. Thank you so much. Buh bye now.

I go retrieve Squirrel from the cash room. The cash room was packed. There was a lady in there with maybe the funniest hairdo I have ever seen. Not even sure how to describe it. Thought maybe it was leftover from Halloween....but nope. Kind of a cross between Cruella Devile in 101 Dalmations and Flock of Seagulls. Getting a picture of it in your mind?

On the way out of the casino Squirrel and I hear an awful sound coming from the inside of 'Chill', the club. It is...what is that? We decide its singing. Sort of. We stand on the outside steps...peering in...with pained expressions on our face. Up on the stage, was a woman, and three guys, on on keyboard, one on drums, and one with a guitar. This woman was signing the Black Eyed Peas song..."I've got a feeling" and Squirrel and I both had the feeling we were going to throw up. While she was singing (being overly complimentary there) she was literally looking at the floor, and I am certain she had a Karaoke machine pumping her the lyrics. Maybe the worst band I have ever seen in my life.

We run into Jim Sterling and Jason Bozlough...or "Boz" as we call him. We all stand around, and attempt to have a conversation over the shreiking. It was tough but we managed to chat for 15 minutes before we left for home.

Arriving at the house, we were walking in on a surprise of sorts. We were very nervous. Squirrel has been wrestling with the idea of letting the dogs stay in the house, but leaving them access to go outside for their 'needs.' Well, I tried this little experiment about three years ago with Jasper and our former dog Tuesday, while living in Pensacola. I ran to Wal-Mart, and let them stay in the house...because it was really cold. When I got home they were both in my bedroom, on top of my large bed...and they had destroyed my comforter, and all of my pillows. There were feathers EVERYWHERE! It wasnt good. Later in Jasper's childhood, he would chew a hole in my couch in Pensacola. Then while we were staying the weekend at Cheryl's old apartment, he ate the top half of her leather couch. A couple weeks later he would eat/devour my expensive leather jacket. Yeah, he was a real problem child.

So...as we open the door...we slowly walk in...sneaking around each corner...waiting to see something disasterous. But much to our surprise...they didn't do ANYTHING! Wow! Well, that was a nice surprise.

Great day today in the NFL. Got pretty much everything I needed. Except that my 7-0 fantasy team is going to lose this week. Oh well, can't win 'em all. I'm ridiculously tired. Debating on whether or not I want to play tomorrow. Kind of feel like I would just like to take a day off to recharge my batteries. Guess I'll see how I feel in the morning. Hope you guys are okay with the new color scheme! Good night now!!!!

MONKEY

Almossssssst!!!! DOH! Stupid Ace on the RIVER!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! So close!

Last year, on Halloween, after a frustrating run of 2nd place finishes, I snuck into the I.P. in my 'super secret' disguise of a gorilla costume....oh yeah, NO ONE knew it was me! :)

Ten minutes after sitting down I was told by security that I would have to remove my mask for surveillance purposes. I was a bit bummed by that, after having spent an hour shopping for it and $200 buying it...but after 16 dirty martinis, and my first outright 'notable' win of the year in their $50k Guarantee...that ended at 2a.m. I was happy as hell that I didn't have to leave that mask on all day!!!

I took my nice 'no chop' chunk of 15k...headed over to my buddy Tan's place, 'Venues' across from the Beau Rivage...met my honey (wait...did that sound like Hellmuth? Yikes!) and her friends, opened up a bar tab for all of them, on me...and blew it out! It was truly a very Happy Halloween. Especially to get the 'monkey' off my back. No pun intended! (this night would also end at Venues)

So as I drove to the IP yesterday, fresh off of Thursday's win in the Omaha Limit tourney...the thought occurred to me that a win on Halloween again would be really special. I was running a bit late, and fortunately Keith took care of getting me bought in before I got there...so I had my seat assignment already.

I was in one of my bizarre low bio-rythmistic (word? not sure...if not it IS now!) moods yesterday. Not even sure why I have those days...but I was super mellow, just...I don't know, calm. So of course...coming off a win the night before, I think everyone expected me to be all amped up and goofy. And, well, you guys who know me...KNOW that I am not one to gloat after a win. In fact, its kind of a situation I hate. Why? Well, while its VERY nice, and I do truly appreciate it when all you guys come up to me and shake my hand and congratulate me...its like, there is this state of mind I get where anything less than a repeat performance is going to constitute a bad day. Kind of similar, I guess...where if you won the Heisman, then the National Championship....and are projected as the #1 pick in the draft....and GO BACK TO COLLEGE for your senior year. Does that make sense? Without, of course...trying to even BEGIN to compare the two, clearly. But as far as the mindset....kind of similar. So what I am saying...is there is some pressure there, always.

So the noon tourney, the $340...that again attracted only 150...dang it! Where is everyone? Are you guys out there NOT getting my message? This is an awesome event! Why aren't you here! A tell-tale sign of a great structure is when you walk to the back of the room when its down to two tables and see who is still remaining. Same thing happened this summer at Venetian. You tend to see a LOT of good players still in it. That means a lot of good poker is being played. And if you appreciate good poker, then you love these kind of structures.

I get myself situated, and take an hour observing and sizing up my table. Pretty decent. Couple of bad players...but not too many. Not very much overbetting going on. In fact, the only place I have seen ridiculous overbetting taking place is in these goofy ass $45 (yes I actually sat in on a couple of those waste of time nightmares) and $65 SNGs...where at 25/25 raises of 150 to 300 are common place. But my favorite is when a guy makes a raise to say 200...and gets SMOOTH called...and then when the board comes out all rags...BOTH players literally check it all the way to the river. Oh...gee....can we call the two hands here folks? Maybe AK vs AQ? Idiots. But I don't even call attention to this stupidity any more. I'm getting better, see? I just take note of it. Maybe I smirk a little bit. But these people are merely branding themselves...for me to use against them later. And that...is what we SHOULD be doing with that information, instead of berating them and labeling them donkeys.

So oh yeah...back to poker. Kind of weird....I get the same guy sitting to my right (who would give me his chicken tenders that he couldnt eat! Thank pal! That really hit the spot!) in the noon tourney as I would have to my right in the 4pm Pot Limit Omaha H/L tourney. Ah ha! So...there ya go! Do I even need to share the rest of this story? Since you NOW know that I am going to bust out of this tourney!??

Well, yeah. I do. I have QQ early...and of course it loses....ace on the flop, c-bet...get raised...and fold. Then just hovered around 5k for two levels. Table broke, got moved to a table with this tall foreign guy who I think actually lives here...seem to remember him from some nightly tourneys at the B.R. He is seeing a LOT of flops. And doing a lot of chasing. And getting very lucky. And picking up a LOT of chips. He limps for 200....four people call..and I look at JJ. I have 5200 behind. Guess what Monkey is doing with THIS one!?? Yeah. You know it. No callers.

Then I get AK three times. Raise.....every time....NO CALLERS. Hmmm. And then....as I am finally getting healthy...up to around 7500....I get them again. The bitches. The Bully limps for 200. One other person calls. And with the whores... I really contemplate shoving again. But come on...you can't play scared of a hand forever. I need to win a nice pot somewhere if I plan on winning this damn thing. So I just raise it to 750. That should be...you would think...enough to get your typical player to fold 6-7 offsuit, right? Ha! Sure! He calls.

I'm gonna make this interesting. The flop comes all rags. He checks. I bet out 2200, with 2000 in the pot. He does this strange thing that I've been watching him do for the last hour....where he plays with his chips...first his green (huge pile) then his blacks (equally huge)...and finallly...stops...looks at my chips...and asks me..."how many chips you have left?" Thats right...I left out the word 'do' in that sentence to give you the sense of his accent. He puts me all in. I sigh. Come on! Then I look at my watch. 3:15. Omaha starts at 4. If I fold, I am back to being crippled, and probably just frustrated and bitter. So its kind of a lose/lose spot. But if he just putting me on AK..and making a play...which he has already done several times so far...having shown at least three bluffs....then I have him crushed and stand to double up to around 15k. In which case...I can really play my kind of game and coast.

So I call. Wanna guess what those rag cards were? Here ya go.  3-4-5. Isnt that nice? Well the turn IS a 5! So at least now I can catch a Q or  a 5 to clip him with a boat...but instead the dealer just drops a 2 out there...giving him an even LONGER straight. I just shook my head. The other guys at the table shook theirs, and gave me that look, you know it...that "dude, thats really fucked up!" look. I left, and retreated to a back hallway....where I cursed a few times....away from everyone...sat in the corner...and just chilled for a few minutes. Maybe 20!

Okay. Time to shake it off! No time to play a SNG....so I just read my book for awhile...watched some college football...and went and bought into the PLO tourney. Okay...lets go try and win that baby!

We end up having 5 tables. Smallish field, but HEY...easier chance to Final Table right? Sitting at the other table next to me is Johnny Groomes, from the Beau Rivage. Awkward, kind of. Its weird, I was thinking about something this morning. And then when I sat down to write this, I get a Facebook message from Johnny himself, congratulating me for the win the other night..and telling me he posted a message here, which he did. So ironic sometimes, how you can be thinking about something and then BOOM...that same person intervenes in your thoughts. I was actually going to write a whole themed blog about those thoughts. And it wasn't bad. Not at all. In fact...I will tell you what my thoughts were I guess. And at the same time thank Johnny for the nice comment on here, and for simply breaking the ice between us. Classy.

What  I was thinking...this morning, as I spent that first 20 minutes where you first wake up...and just lay there in bed thinking random thoughts, you know what I mean? We do ALL do that, right? Anyway, I was thinking about how stupid and petty humans can be. Johnny was sitting there, alone at a table in his Tennessee Vols gear...watching a game on TV...waiting on the tourney to start (by the way nice win by UT yesterday...is that coach gonna work out there afterall? Him AND the coach for Auburn NOT looking so bad now, are they!???) while other players are coming up to me and making snide remarks about him. Wanting me to pile on, return something ugly. And you know? I just don't have it in me. Why? What is it going to solve? Hell, maybe I'm finally growing up a little. Thing about it...is that I spent 4 years of playing poker REALLY liking and respecting Johnny, and Ken as well. I mean...its kind of like, I guess, spending your whole life worshipping Michael Jordan, and then one day turning on the news and seeing that he had done something you would have NEVER imagined him doing. And you are left there just feeling, I don't know...EMPTY. Right? Not mad. Not hurt. Not anything you can really put a finger on. Just EMPTY.

So when all this recent crap went down over there, and I was subsequently invited to NOT go play poker there until further notice...all centered around THIS blog...I didn't even know what or how to feel. I was just empty. So yesterday, sitting there...looking at a guy who was one of my heroes in the poker tourney world for so long...and was just kind of like...well, okay, what should I do? Should I walk over there and say hi? Make an attempt to break the ice? Would that make me a better man? Or would it come off looking like a desperate attempt to get myself back into the Beau? I don't know. Am I over thinking this? Am I a retard? So I just elected to not do anything. And that, falls into that petty category. As does all the hate mongerers who insist that I lash out. Stupid. Just stupid.

So I guess my point on that is this. Suppose we were on the same plane, like one of those smaller ones that you always have to fly on when you are taking that short flight to Atlanta, before connecting to a 'real' plane that takes you to somewhere like Vegas. Suppose our plane went down. Johnny was in seat 3a. Monkey was in seat 14b. Upon crashing...we both survive. But there are dead people all around us. And among them there are several others injured and needing to be saved. Do you think for ONE SECOND that Johnny and I wouldn't immediately risk our lives, and work as a team...to save all those people? And when that horrible day was over...where would we be then? We would be linked for the rest of our lives by that single event. People would call us heroes. Which I think is stupid. I don't understand that label sometimes. In life...when certain situations arise...you just DO THE RIGHT THING. People who DONT do that? What are they? Fucking cowards? Yeah. That is kind of a deviation from my point, I know...sorry. But any way...point being, this gap that exists between us right now is ridiculous. In the grand scheme of things, as to our relevance in the world? I'm a silly ass poker player and he is a guy who manages me and my other silly ass poker player friends and foes. And yet, there is this stupid divide between us. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm really NOT hoping that him and I go down on a plane together! I just really hope that we can turn the corner on all this and go back to being buddies and working WITH each other to put out a good product. I have no ill will towards either of those guys over there. At all. I just think its a matter of truly understanding one another.

At the end of the night, I actually walked into the Beau for the first time since this all happened a couple months ago. We went to the club in there, Coast...to hang out with Squirrel's girlfriends from work. It was nice to see a lot of the BR crowd. And it was fun to see all the various costumes.

So as I was getting started in the Omaha tourney I was occassionally taking note of his stack...wondering what it would be like if we got pitted at the same table together. How would that go? I was anxious to see. And apprehensive. It never happened though. He got pretty deep...got a feeling he just never could get that one big pot that you need in these things.

On the other hand...I was just kind of hanging around. Then I got really short again, just like the other night. Get a great hand...and scoop it for a double up. Win a couple more nice hands. Then had a huge hand where I kind of had to gamble...and got VERY lucky on a guy...to get a clean double up. That pot alone would propel me to another Final Table. I was pysched!

The problem is that it was only paying 5. So I had to be careful not to screw myself. I will just cut to the chase here, as this entry is getting long again. I would make it into the money. Yah! The guy I got heads up with the night before would again make the Final Table. His name is George, and he lives in Citonelle I think he said. Really a great guy. Well, he had his own cool little shot...and surprised me with a round for just him and I. Well... unfortunately, he didn't make it into the money. But he's such a good sport, I really don't think he cared. I think he is one of those guys who is pretty well off, and just plays the game for the love of playing the game. Really a great disposition this guy had.

A gal we all know, Maria...who either dates or is married ( I know I should KNOW this) to Tony...also made the Final Table with us..and she would fall short. But just as she always does, she handled it with a lot of class. You guys might remember me blogging some months ago about that guy at Hard Rock, in the cash game that one night...named Bob, who reminded exactly of the character 'Bob' in the sitcom 'Becker.' I think I knocked him out to get into the money.

Well, at four handed we all decided to give the chipleader $4000 (first place was $4200) and each take $1800...but to play it out so we could actually finish where we finished. Some of us actually LIKE WINNING! ;) It was a bit of a pain in the ass for the tournament director, because officially, I think...if you agree to a deal, its supposed to end. So we kind of had to 'pretend' that the deal was off! We all just got paid what we got paid and waited around til the end. Then got the money right, and then all tipped out the dealers (and some of us the floor...again, wink wink). This guy had a bazillion chips..probably 80% of the chips in play...exactly like me the night before.

At 4-handed I got a chance to run out to my car to get my two crystal monkeys, the ones who only come out for Final Tables. They missed out the night before. I had my Monkey beads working already! When I got back I was totally surprised by the presence of my TOTALLY hot wife! She was dressed in her sexy pirate costume. She was with Claw...or Count Clawcula! She was a vampire. Squirrel looked so doggone good. When she went to the bathroom I stared at her the whole way and a guy at the table said "You know you married right when you still catch yourself staring at your wife when she walks away!" Amen brother.

At three-handed, I raise pot on the button against the guy who was 3rd in chips...but not much. He goes all in on me. I have KK23...double suited. I am pretty much priced in, and am guessing he just has a nut low draw...that I am probably just fading an ace...and hoping NOT to have a low come out. I am dead on with my read. I think his hand was A3JQ. If not exact..more or less. The first four cards out were 9-3-10-9. NICE! His King for the straight is dead. He can only hit an 8 or an ace. There is NO low draw. I have a chance to whack him right here and get heads up for another win...with the guy who has that mountain of chip. Ironically he was also in the same seat I was in the night before...seat 8. Must be the lucky Final Table seat!

Well, we all know the guy hit an ace on the river right? Yeah. Left me with very little, though I WOULD double up on the next hand, giving me hope. But I got creamed on the next hand, and was out. In third place. Not too shabby. I didn't win, but I know that I have won a lot of respect from my poker peers, and that feels damn good. Today, I am going back at 4pm to see what I can do in the Stud tourney. Now, I happen to think my stud game is pretty sharp. And it is the ONE game where it pays to be sober, and as I try not to EVER drink on Sundays if I can help it, its a perfect day for Stud!

I gotta hand it to Sterling and Sommerfeld on the planning on today's tourney schedule. Very clever. Its Sunday, the day after Halloween. How many drunken, hungover players are there out there today? Im guessing...maybe a couple! So what did they schedule for the noon tourney today? The Seniors event! Brilliant! Doubt that the old-timers were out trick-or-treating or chasing tail last night! And speaking of that...their was some serious tail out there last night! Wow! But I had the finest! (another wink wink!) So anyway...yeah, perfect day for the Seniors tourney. And then, Stud at 4? Stud is a game that a lot of the old timers cut their teeth on...so you will find a lot of older people playing that game. So if they do bust in the Seniors, that is right up their alley. Good job on the planning boys! Unfortunately for those old guys...they are gonna have to wrestle with a very fine young stud player named Tim Burt...and my stupid ass! Good luck!!!!

Wow. Right off the bat today in the NFL....PHILLY 16-0 over NYG and SF 7-0 over INDY! Could this be the week when everything goes crazy in the NFL???? I hope so!

I hope you all had a great weekend, or are HAVING a great weekend. If you have kids, I hope Halloween went off without a hitch! Another reason I wish I had kids....they are so dang cute in their little costumes. But for now...its just me and my 'kids' Mollie and Jasper.

MONKEY

Lost todays noon tourney but played the 4pm omaha tourney and Final Tabled again,and almost won! Got rivered for a huggggge pot! Got 3rd place for $1500.

Victory is mineeeeeeee!

Ahhhhhhh....the sweet taste of victory has returned to Monkey Central. And not a moment too soon, as I was about to lose my mind. I slept very well last night, as it rained all freaking night and turned my backyard, once again...into a swamp!

Day 1 of the IP ended with me Final Table'ing the 7pm tourney but then screwing up huge and going out 10th, depriving myself an entry in the WSOP Freeroll. Then Day 2 was absolute abortion. I played ALL THREE tourneys, the Nooner, the 4pm HORSE, and then the 7pm $230...and air-balled all of them. Yes, I pulled the much-mentioned 'hat trick' that I was so looking to avoid on this trip. Granted, I did run off 3 wins in SnG's out of 4...and had pulled almost even on the day before losing my final 3 SNGs to end the day on a real downer. The shitty part was that in every one of those, I was doubling up on the first level to take an early chip lead...only to go out with hands where I was ahead every time preflop. But I handled it well, as I have been pretty much everywhere I've played since the summer. Ya lose, just smile, shake your hand in disappointment and go try again. It looks so much better to everyone!

Even while I had been getting pounded I have been having so much fun. Everyone has been great. I'm loving this event. Just yesterday...one day after I asked Jim Sterling "hey, a couple years ago you guys had food services in here...that seems to be the only thing you guys DIDNT do this year.....was it just too expensive to do?" and then VOILA...yesterday....THAT shows up. These guys are doing SUCH a great job running this tourney. And they are so open to every suggestion from players. I arrived yesterday only 5 minutes late...and then stopped to chat with a few players on the way to my table, and in doing so arrived to my seat with the small blind being on me. Well they are using that rule we all think is just retarded, that they have been doing at the Rio since last year...where you have to wait until you are the BB to play a hand. I HATE it. As does every other player. And I told Jimmy as much...and don't be surprised to see that go away. I'm just really proud of the guys at the I.P. for doing everything to make this a great event. They are really excited about their April event coming up in the spring. I am a bit disappointed that we are having semi-light turnouts. The first night, for the 7pm $120 we got 179 players...and thats the most we have seen. 150 on Thursday's $240 and then 160 for Friday's $340. I would liked to have seen around 300 at least. The first event at the Venetian drew 507 yesterday...ouch! That kind of stung to read!

So yesterday was a $340 at noon. I arrived and started winning hands. Almost every one I played. Went from 8k starting stack up to 12k rather effortlessly. Was flopping sets, turning straights, getting people to pay off...it was going great. I had a pretty soft table too. Was chatting with everyone...making buddies...it was going SO perfect. Then...BOOM! I get AA...UTG+1. I raise (from 100/200) to 550, and get called 4 times. Now, I was playing a very effecient brand of poker all day, raising light...like 2.5x...a LOT...encouraging action..and still having everyone fold to me a lot. Fear? Not sure. But funny, I get AA and they ALL call, and you get that sick feeling where you KNOW you are about to get assraped. Cue the ass raping. On a flop of 3-4-9....two diamonds....and 2400 in the pot...and me having all four players more than covered, I bet out 2200. When the guy behind me goes all in for 6300, and everyone else folds....I'm left sitting there wondering....SHIT! Does this guy have a set? Or is he just aggressively shoving on a flush draw? In which case I'm sure he will hit like they all do! Or maybe he has an overpair to that board and is putting ME on AK? I can't convince myself to fold and make the call. 444. Dammit. Now I'm down to 4k. But I quickly work that back up to 8k again.

Then...in the BB and the blinds at 200/400...a guy raises to 1000 from cutoff. I look down at 44 in the BB. Hmmmm.......okay, I call. Flop comes 2-3-6. I consider it a pretty good flop. He has 4100 behind. Now if I am correct and he has a big ace...he should fold to an all in. I don't want to check raise him...because he is going to be pot committed to anything he bets with his stack....so I fire my whole stack at him. He tanks! Sweet! I must have him.Then finally...he calls, and turns over 1010! WTF? Jeezuz. Bad read. I pick of an A on the turn...come on!!!! FIVE!!!!! or 4! Nope. Nothing. Dammit. Now down to 1200. Ugh. I sit around and wait for something to shove with. A guy limps for 400 and I look down at AJ. Perfect. ALL IN! He really wants to fold...and this guy has been a really nice guy all day, and I have offered him some valuable tips that he has already used a couple times...I really like the kid, but he finally calls with 33. Okay, I can live with that, right? Flop? 3-6-6. Wow. Really? Ladies and Gentleman....Monkey has now left the building!

Good news? It was 3:30. Starting at 4pm was a tourney I really was wanting to play....as is TODAY's 4pm, which would really lead one to ask..."why am I playing the noon $340 today?" Today's event is Pot Limit Omaha H/L. Love that game. Been smashing it online. Well yesterday's event was a $240 LIMIT Omaha h/l, which I like...just not as much. Not crazy about the limit aspect of it. Well, I draw a table with 3 little old ladies at it. Im dead! Try to haphazardly request a table change. Not happening Monkey, Bill Bruce tells me. "You're just gonna have to play well, sir!" Great.

Things dont start so hot. Mama calling station flops QUADS on me once to beat my flush...and me not having any low. Then she rivers me a few times. I kind of give and take for 5 levels...not ever getting over 7k. We only started with 44 players...it was paying just 4 spots. But if you MADE the Final Table...you MAKE the WSOP Freeroll tourney at the end. So that was Mission #1. Well, I get into a three way pot...that ends up being about a 15k pot. Flop the nut low...holding A2JJ....flop comes 678. Nice. Turn a J for a set. Awesome....then, with both of them calling, raising....and calling some more....the river is the ace of clubs...completing a flush and potentially destroying my low. Which is exactly what it did.....son of a bitttttch! I lose it ALL. Now I am sitting with 3500. And our table breaks...down to 3 tables. That 3500 would become 2500. Blinds went up to 500/1000 and with the clock showing 8pm, I was at least not going to have to worry about pulling another hat trick, as I was too late to get into the 7pm tourney. Things were looking bleak! SNG LAND was only moments away.

Then it happened. Guy behind me raises and I find As4sJsJc....and move it in. Preston (last name escaping me) hesitates....then looks at me...and taking note of our mutual friendship and respect of each other...decides to fold, what would have been the eventual winner. The other guy was raising with a ridiculous hand...AcKcQc10c. Yeah, all clubs. No low draw. And I've got him pretty well locked out with two of the jacks he needs for a straight. Now I just need to fade the three overs....or at least hit a low. He hits nothing and I get a clean double up! Sweet! Preston would have flopped QUADS! I thank him. Literally walked over and kissed him! It was funny. And I said, "Look guys, when your married to a beautiful woman, you can do that and not get questioned!!!!"

About this time the critical moment occurred. Or at least I am chalking it up to this moment. I asked Stephanie the dealer if my hair looked okay today. I hadnt been wearing a hat all day. She says "no different than it always looks." Huh? That can't be good. Okay, then...I'm putting on a hat! Then it was a question of WHICH hat? My GCP hat that I am growing ever increasingly fond of? Or my Aruba UB visor? Now the day before I was trying it on before leaving for the day and Squirrel started clowning me about it. "Wheeeel? (thats Alabama redneck for Will) What is THAT? You're gonna wear a freaking visor in the dang winter?! Thats just stupid!" Well sweety....so is being a pothole and doing Geico commercials, but I don't make fun of you!  :)

So, realizing that NONE of you have much fashion sense...and that wearing white after Labor Day doesnt really apply to US...I reach into my bag and slap on my visor. And guess what happens? It was like when Jim Carrey put on the MASK in that movie and just went bananas. The minute that damn visor went on....I start getting shit like AA2K....AK23 double suited....QQA2...flopping boats....I mean ONE monster after another...and the sweetest guy in the 6 seat who literally went from about 40k to NOTHING in little under an hour...most of them going into MY stack. I couldn't miss! It was the most meteoric rise I have EVER encountered in tournament poker. And I was drinking margaritas again like they were the cure for cancer!

So now it just became a 'just how many chips can I possibly get' contest! Oh...somewhere along the way...Tim Burt...who was still in the noon tourney with a pretty decent stack, decided to trade a percentage. I gave him 10% of mine for 5% of his...since his 1st place was for $12k and mine was only for $3500. Well, he would lose a big hand and get shortstacked about the time I was sitting on 2500. I was feeling kind of bad before that...like maybe I had duped him when we made the deal. But I honestly never felt like I didn't have a shot to comeback and win.

I might as well cut to the chase...because this final table was about as comical as the one here last Halloween when I just DESTROYED all nine players in like an hour. Oh shit...wow, HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone! Almost forgot! And its my little brother's birthday too! He doesnt read my blog I don't think. Too busy with his job and all his kids!

We get to the Final Table and I have now got the overall chiplead....by quite a bit. Its at this time that I put on the Final Table Monkey Beads. And then formally request the SNAP MONKEY shots! I only get ONE person to drink with me! ONE! And he is the shortstack, nice guy in the 2 seat, me in the 8. And I tell him...."Sir! Mark my word....because you are drinking with me...guess what? You are about to go on the heater from hell...and you and I will get heads up! Just watch!"

Guess what? Me and that guy got heads up! It was great. With 7 players left...and 215k in play...I had 124k. It was awesome. The greatest hand came with me holding JJA3...raising and getting called in three places. Flopping JJ8...and getting raised and re-raised. It was a gigantic pot and I felted two players and crippled the third. We got down to 5....and they wanted to GIVE ME first place money...and take like $900 each. I didnt take it. I know, you are all calling me crazy, and yeah...that WAS crazy! But you know what? I was having SO much fun...and it wasn't like we were playing for that much money anyway...and I just really wanted to WIN! Outright! I wanted to feel that feeling you get when you have won ALL THE CHIPS! That feeling can't be matched.

But at least I DID do something kind of cool. They were proposing taking out $50 each for the bubble guy. And I said..."NO!" They all kind of looked at me weird...and I said...."If we are going to do that, can we please at least make it so that they get their buy in back and then a little over that? Can we make it $75!???" That put a smile on their faces. So thats what we did...and when I whacked the 5th place finisher he shook my hand and left a little happier.

I would dispatch the last 4 players very quickly. Once we were heads up, I think I had this guy out in 5 hands. For Preston making that life-saving fold when he did, I gave him 5% of my winnings. I gave Tim his 10%...or I will when I see him today. He ended up cashing, but for just a little, so I don't owe him too much. I left the dealers a very nice tip...and jussssst as I was about to escape the building to go down to Chill and hang out with some of the tournament staff members, I got conned into taking the last seat in a $125 SNG. Ahhhhhhh mannnnn.

Well, I'm glad I did. For two reasons. (1) It contained a lot of my good buddies, who were all drinking...and all congratulating me for my win, thus making the win feel even better...and (2) With a $20 bounty, a $20 last longer (with 8 players) and  $100 last longer (6 players) I would end up winning/chopping it!!!! Freaking NICE. So me and the guy who got heads up chopped the $600. We gave the $160 last longer to the 3rd place guy...and we played heads up for $100. He would end up rivereing me to actually WIN...and that was just fine! I'd had a great day already. We both tipped the dealer $40 I think (dealer if that is wrong please tell me and I will remedy it...but I THINK that is what we left you!) and I called it a night!

Went downstairs and met up with Jason Boz......Booozzzzz how do you spell his last name? Boslough? Bozlow? Whatever. We all call him Boz! Him and Jim Sterling. We sat and chatted for a bit, goofed on each other...talked about the tourney, talked about the Harrah's mess a bit...and what Jim could do to help clear that up...then finally I decided to go home and see my wife. And my dogs! Who are ALWAYS happy when daddy gets home.

It was a great freaking day! And while I didn't win a MOUNTAIN of money...hey...I won! And that, more than anything in poker...felt AWESOME! Now then...its 11:33....lets go do it AGAIN!

MONKEY