MSPT in Baton Rouge...continued

I suggested that this would be a 3-part tale, but pressing news has caused me to rethink that promise and narrow the Baton Rouge trilogy to just a 2-part series. What pressing news, you ask? Well...seems our game of poker has recently been beset by a plague of chip-taking/chip-introducing scandals that have rocked the landscape of tournament poker...and as fate would have it? I have (why wouldn't I?) some pretty juicy insider intelligence about the 'culprit' in the Palm Beach Kennel Club debacle. You will have to just wait on that. Since I like to knock things down as they would appear on a 'to-do' list.

I guess mentioning my 'life-threatener' in one of my recent posts has brought him out of his cave. Not sure why it is he finds my writing so blasphemous, but boy...he sure does. Now, along with threatening to kill me...and my wife, he has decided to add my daughter to his hit list. Whoever you are, you sick fuck...how bout you announce yourself, sign your name to your comments? No? Can't do that? Why? If you're this tough guy you claim to be...what do you have to fear? Maybe one of my readers out there, who happens to be sane...wouldn't mind running a little IP address check on this lunatic? Maybe he has a scrambler located between his mom's PC upstairs and the one in her basement? That could be a deal killer.

Someone pointed out to me yesterday, that a certain imbecile who I had a very interesting falling out with last summer, had separated from his significant other. Amazing. Could not EVER have predicted that would happen. I mean, how long can you live with, and depend on (for financial support) a person you aren't even married to, who is on disability, before they finally tell you to beat it? Over/under on that one had to be pretty low.

This same guy is posting stories about his trip to a place I just returned from. Hmm. How intriguing is that? I say intriguing, because I happen to know that this POS has been basically hiding from me all fall and winter,  knowing that one glimpse of him would lead to his needing a trip to the hospital. He was picking events that he knew I couldn't play. Smart. Very smart. He must have forgotten that Palm Beach Kennel Club isn't owned by Caesar's, and hence...offered no resistance to me going to play there. Well I was there for the 2nd week of their events...every day...and trust me...if that weasel were there, I would have seen him. And it would have ended badly for him. So the only thing I can assume, is he either caught wind that I was on my way...or heard that I was there, and got the hell out of there, because he sure as shit was nowhere near that property while I was there. 

My conclusion? All the talking shit about someone, and all the bad ass claims about himself...don't count for a hill of beans when I show up at your doorstep, and instead of handling me like you SAID you would, you turn and run...as fast as you can. Yeah...you know who you are, you chicken shit. 

Finished the last episode of the 6th season of  'Sons of Anarchy.' About the same time, I happened upon some show on Discovery, called (I think) 'Devils Ride.' WTF? It's like 20 guys all sat around and watched 'SOA' about 10 times...all six seasons...and decided, "Hey! Let's start a motorcycle club!" It's the story of a bunch of 30-50  year old men who act about 7 or 8, and who  have incorporated every lame cliche from 'Sons' into their vernacular. Oh and...as for SOA? It's just kind of gotten to be over the top with all the killing. This sleepy little town of Charming, CA has got to be the murder capital of the world, doesn't it? Who the hell would ever live in a town like that? And how do the boys of the MC get away with all the shit they get away with? Being in and out of penitentiaries as I have been my whole life (what? You didn't know!!!?) I've learned a thing or two about the justice system, and what this show's writers want us to believe (yes I'm talking to you Kurt Sutter) is just a little too much for someone with any shred of common sense or knowledge of the law to believe. That being said...I can't wait for Season 7 to get here.

Question: Does anyone think those stupid balls that hang from your trailer hitch are cool? Do any of you have them? What went in to the decision to purchase those? To impress the chicks? To tell the other fellas that your truck 'has balls'? I don't get it. Help me. To me...it is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen on a car. Right up there with the fucking lights under the car that make you look like a UFO. Why?

It's almost March Madness. Who cares? In the last 22 years,  I've filled out probably an average of 30 brackets a year...in my pool, Greg Pike's pool, and a few other guys' pools. Know how many times I've finished in the money? NONE! Yeah. ZERO! What is that? Like 600+ brackets probably? And I've never tasted the money once. Is that even mathematically possible? My team (UW Huskies) won't make the tourney this year. I've watched maybe 3 games all season. And yet...I  will once again run my pool, get over 500 entries again, enter another 25-30 losing brackets...and watch a bunch of assholes whose plan it was to play ONE year of college ball before turning pro, do just that. No...the only thing I can think about, or what I'm excited about...is when does football season start? These next six months are going to go by VERY slowly.

The Second Bullet in Baton Rouge...and the End Result

When I last left you, I was making my way to the registration desk to purchase another entry into the MSPT Main (and only) Event in Baton Rouge. I'd just had my QQ snapped by the guy with J10 who made a hero call and hit his second pair on the river. So I was tinged with a hint of bitterness, to say the least.


I got my new seat assignment. Much better cast of characters on that table. Sort of. Had Kenny Milam to my left...who was busy mixing it up a lot. Kenny is funny. Sometimes he just loses a couple hands...and turns stubborn. Once that happens, the cards don't really matter much. He'll raise, get called almost always, and just try to impose his will on everyone. I've seen it work. It didn't work in Baton Rouge. Kenny was gone pretty quickly. I always hate to see him go, since we are pretty close friends. 

Getting moved to my table was the guy who busted my QQ...and with him came kind of (what felt like) the desire on his part to leave me alone. And respect my raises. Granted...I didn't go after him or anything. I wasn't even that mad at him. He made a read, it was wrong, and he got lucky. No big deal. Happens. And I didn't consider him a fish. So his  presence at the table really didn't matter much..other than he had 10k of my chips that I wouldn't mind getting back.

There isn't too much I remember about that night...especially since it was a week ago. I really just kind of had two huge hands that propelled me to bagging up 132k at the end of the night. The rest of the time....most of my hands never went to show down. I didn't bluff the obvious donkeys, I didn't play bad hands out of position. It was really just kind of an ABC poker night. But when I did get AA for the first time...I decided to play them stealthily, and hope to get total value out of them. Which I did.

This black guy on my right in the five seat...who was incredibly quiet...but also was very annoying, in that he was one of those spread-eagle players. One of my biggest pet peeves in poker. One of my knocks on this event...and yes, I voiced it regularly, was that they had us playing 10-handed on these tiny-ass stud tables...and that drives me batty. 

Let me say this, for the record. I got to know the guy who was behind the whole MSPT event...who travels with their circuit and puts on the events. Seemed like a really good guy.  And he has a lot of passion and energy and you can tell he really wants to make this thing succeed. I respect that. And one of the first questions I asked him...was 'have you ever been, or were you ever, a poker player by trade?' I think this is a very important question to ask a guy who is running a poker tournament...especially before you start to bash certain elements of his event. So when he told me "yes" well, that kind of made it easier to have the conversation that we had.

First...he never really could give me a good reason for why they play 10-handed, other than 'that's just the way we always do it.' Well, sorry, but that is a shitty answer. Playing 10-handed in a tourney, on anything over $500...is a bitch-slap in the face of any real tournament poker player. Playing 10-handed on a REGULAR regulation poker table? Is bad. Playing on a fucking stud table? Is like playing poker in a fucking Volkswagen with 10 fat guys. It's a joke. And very tilting. 

There really wasn't much else that I found irritating...oh wait, check that. Yes there was. So, first, lets just start with the property itself. The Belle of Baton Rouge. Hmmm. Why, I found myself (as did a majority of the other players) asking myself...with all the other casinos in the area, would these guys from the MSPT choose to bring their event to this dilapidated eyesore floating on the muddy shores of the Mississippi? You walk in...well...I should preface that with....you walk the five miles...then into the casino area on the boat, and the first thing you are greeted with is cigarette smoke. Then you see all the tables, that look like they were pulled from a period-piece casino movie based in the 70's. Holy shit. The makeup of the patrons was like 85% black, 10% Hispanic, 4% Caucasian, and 1% homeless vagrant. It was....to say the least....an unfamiliar feeling. That was the main floor. You needed to go up a floor to get to the poker tourney area...which was surrounded by slot machines...that, whether they were being played or not, were belting out their annoying sounds that we all  know. 

Registration was a lady writing down your name on a piece of paper, and having you draw your seat assignment out of a basket. No computer generated receipt with table and seat number. For a receipt,  you had to request one...and got one of those things you would get from the guy who fixed your lawnmower. Now here is where my complaint comes in....none of this leading up to here has upset me. In fact, it was pretty much what I was expecting.

I am kind of cheating here, because I already knew that they were going to have a good staff of dealers at this event...since most of them are my friends on Facebook. In fact, one of them had given me a heads up while I was driving up...that they were about to close all the streets around the casino for a Mardi Gras parade. Wonderful. So...once I hit a wall of traffic about 7 miles from the casino on I-10, I exited off, and following along with the maps feature on my iPad, found a back way into the casino. I know, I'm pretty fuckin brilliant sometimes. When I pulled into the garage, I was accosted by a man with about 6 teeth, maybe 7...who wanted $10 from me?

"For what? I just drove 7 hours (okay, I fudged a little on the drive time) to play a poker tourney at this casino and I have to pay $10?"

"Yes sir, because it's for the parade."

"Well, I am not here for the parade...I'm here to play in a poker tourney. Does everyone going to the casino have to pay ten bucks?"

"Not if you have a player's card, do you have a player's card??"

"No, I've never been here before."

"Then you have to pay ten dollars."

Son of a bitch! So I gave him $10. And drove up what was easily, and it's not even CLOSE...the worst example of engineering in our country's history. I've never, in my life, felt like my life was in danger as much as I did driving to the 5th floor of this parking deck. Anyone coming around a corner at more than 10 mph? Was dead. Any car more than 20 feet in length? It was like parallel parking a tank. If I had to guess...there is easily 5 to 10 accidents a day in that parking garage. I would love to know how they ever got a permit to build that fucking nightmare. Oh wait...never mind, no I don't. It's Louisiana. The same state that awarded a contract to someone...I will go out on a limb and GUESS that the someone was somehow related to SOMEONE in politics....to place a mile marker sign...every TENTH of a mile. No BS. Barth and I noticed it as we were driving on our way to Oklahoma last month. Literally....a green mile marker sign....every tenth of a mile. Some asshole got rich off that scheme. 

So...yeah...after the 5-mile march to the casino, the trek through the smoky 70's-like table games, and my march up the stairs and into the poker room...where there were like 10 tables, but only about 50 players....I signed up, sat down, greeted my very familiar dealer and began playing poker in a tournament I never in a million years expected to cash in. And then it happened. After about five orbits. A floor call. Zoinks! Now...the dealer, a guy named David, who is very experienced and quite capable of running the game, had already made his de facto ruling, but for some damn reason, the guy in the SB...a random donkey, wanted the floor to confirm his decision. Oh boy. Here he comes. And from the second I put eyes on this guy...I knew it was about to be blog-worthy. 

Sometimes, you just get these rare moments in poker. They don't happen very often, as most of the places we full-timers choose to play at are generally run by guys who really do know what they are doing.....but  every so often, it happens. And I'll be honest. I find it to be a source of humor. And lord knows, I need humor in my life. This decision involved a bet that was made by the small blind...wherein, he pulled back a portion of his small blind, and replaced it with a 500 chip. The end result was the dealer calling it just a call. Because of the one-chip rule. Don't ask me to go into detail here...because I'm not going to. Out of my desire not to further bore the rest of you who I haven't already bored with this post.

Floor arrives.  Dealer explains the situation to him...and told in a very 'leading' manner, if you know what I mean? As in...he basically gave the guy the answer as he provided the scenario. Then I saw the look on the guys face, and I knew, right there....this guy has NO idea what to do. A part of me felt bad for the guy. I had a flashback to the 4th grade...where, once I'd taken my spot on the stage during the annual Christmas play, and was about to sing my part of 'Silent Night' I suddenly forgot the entire verse...was stricken with panic...and ran out the side door of the gym crying. My singing career was forever destroyed that cold December night in Montana.

Chilling. That moment when you simply have no answer. The tension, the awkwardness of the moment, had all the regulars at the table kind of squirming in their seat, all of us knowing that he was about to 'wing it.' And then...finally, he points to the table and proclaims, "Yeah, that's going to be the bet, right there." Well done sir. 

Wow. And this, this is my point, my bone of contention. If you want players to take your poker tour seriously? It's great that you thought to get good (even great, actually) dealers for your event. Smart move. Vital move.  But why on God's green earth would you not also bring in floor people who know what they are doing? No offense, personally...to the folks they had working there. They were plenty nice. But they were totally out of their league when it came to running a poker tournament. It was one thing after another, all night long. And frankly, I just started drinking the free Jack and Cokes, and tried to make the best of a weird situation...in order to not let it drive me crazy. I think I did a pretty good job of not letting things put me on life tilt, too. 

And finally...the other HUGE issue they need to correct. And I'm saying this despite it not affecting me. I played Friday night. And yeah, I bagged up 132k...fourth out of 18 remaining players. And I got to take Saturday off. But for those who played Saturday? They played till about 1am...maybe later..probably didn't get home, or to their hotel rooms, until 2:30 or so...and guess what time they had to be back to play the next day?

Well, that's kind of funny too. When we bagged up on Friday night...they told us we had to restart on Sunday at 10am. Huh!??? I about shit my pants. I've been playing for 10 years now, and not only have I never seen a tourney start that early...but a RESTART for Day 2??? That's insanity.  I later found out that they told us wrong. It was actually 10:30...which still, is a nightmare. Play til 2am, come back at 10:30am? Seriously? Well, I didn't have to do that, but I did have to get up at 7am in Biloxi, then make the drive. And thank god I bought new wiper blades the night before because it was a monsoon from the time I left my house till the time I pulled in to the casino and the worlds worst parking garage.

When I asked the guy in charge for MSPT about the time of the restart, he had a somewhat legitimate reason. When they started this tour, they did so with the 'working man' in mind, the guy who works 9-5 Monday through Friday. Hence, they didn't want to have a tourney last into Monday...and have the tourneys end on Sunday night. And while our Day 2 only returned 36 players...which, with that structure, was in no danger of ending any later than 7pm...most of their events draw a lot bigger fields. So I could make sense of his thinking on that. However, I think if you were to go around and ask 100 poker players with a 9-5 job that, "If you made the final table, and were going to make between $3,000 and $60,000 the next day, would you happily call out sick from your job, or even get permission from your boss to miss work that day?" You would most likely get about 95 of those guys saying "Hell yeah!!!" Trust me...I'm pretty sure about that one.

Okay...so I've decided this IS going to be a 3-part saga. Why? Well...I want to go play some cash game tonight at the Golden Nugget. That might be wiped off the table though...as Claudia 'The Claw' Crawford was suddenly dumped by her gem of a boyfriend yesterday, ordered  to move out...which resulted in my wife and all her friends going to Baton Rouge, packing up all her shit in a UHaul, and drive home through 5 hours of Mardi Gras traffic, and one of the gnarliest accidents any of them had every seen involving a semi and a red truck that was now lodged in a fucking TREE! There is a good chance that I could actually be unloading that fucker in the dark for the next three hours or so. (which, after coming back and editing this later...I was!!!) Hope not. Hope we put it off til tomorrow. Cuz I'm really jonesing for some cash game for some stupid reason. Oh and, the obvious reason? This post has gotten way too long!

Is it too late to go back to those aces? Well, the black guy, I think his name was Lavon maybe...raised. I looked down at AsAh and just called. The guy on the button re-raises. Okay. That doesn't suck. The SB calls! Lavon calls! And I put in another raise...which all of them except the SB calls. The flop comes 9 high....ALL spades. Delightful. Lavon checks. I check. And the button bets. Lavon raises. I ship all in. Button folds, Lavon snap calls...and turns over JsJc. He turns a straight draw...shit...but bricks the river, and suddenly, I had a very healthy stack. 

I pretty much, like I said, just played ABC poker the rest of the night to stay above starting stack, and then...with about 15 minutes left in the night, I was handed a gift, again from my spread-eagled buddy in the five seat, who's elbows had become my nemesis. He raised and I looked down again at AA. I re-popped him. Someone else called...and when it got back to him he shoved. I called (obviously) and the other guy folded. He had JJ, again. He failed to hit a jack, or anything else, and my stack got enormous. He was left with just 8800...and made the announcement that he wasn't coming back with that small of a stack, that he wasn't driving all the way back up here to play that stack. When I asked where he drove up from he mumbled something and changed the subject. 

He goes all in dark and I look down at A4c and probably should have called. But you know how  those stupid coin flips work! You are almost always ahead there, but seemingly never win...and why take a 10k hit after just stacking up to 130k? Seemed kind of stupid. Well, he pulled that move three times...got a walk every time, and then the night was over. He left a stack of 14,800 to die when we came back on Day 2. I know cuz his stack was on my table. Hell, he almost made the money!! I think his stack finally got blinded off with 23 left.

NEXT: Monkey's Run to the Final Table at the Fabulous Belle of Baton Rouge!

Ballin in Baton Rouge

Before I get too far into this blog post, I want you to know something. Due to a handful of very solid relationships I've made with the owners/operators of this site, and some readers who have been tremendously supportive of me over the years, I've decided to continue trying to post to this site on the same regularity that I have over the past 6 years.

Why am I telling you this? Why WOULDN'T I keep doing that? I'll tell you why. Through a good friend of mine, my writing abilities (or whatever you would like to label them) were mentioned to a nice fellow in Europe, who runs a very large poker site similar to 2+2, and he was scouting for US writers/contributors to periodically write original content for his site. We did kind of an interview via email, and I was accepted into his 'stable' of writers. I am being paid a very 'respectable' fee for every post I write for them. The one catch? And this is a tough one. I can't copy/paste the material I write for GCP.net. Which means I actually have to really commit a lot of time, energy and original thought now when I sit down to write for that other site. 

This led to my wife asking me what to some would be an obvious question: "Well then why not just quit writing on that site and only write for the one that is paying you?" Yes...to anyone outside the GCP family that would seem like a pretty easy decision, especially since my main purpose for writing for GCP is for my own sense of therapy a lot of times. If I could show you a few of the comments that I haven't published, and I will stress, there is no doubt they are almost always by the same two or three people, you would wonder why in the hell I even continue writing on here. I've literally had death threats...not just to me, but to my wife. That unless I quit writing, I am going to pay. No kidding. What would motivate someone to make these comments? I have no clue. And frankly, I didn't really let them rattle me. I just find it disturbing that these people actually exist among us.

So, to answer the question: Why? Because I'm loyal. It might not be a big deal to some (most!) of you...but it means something to me. Bill and Gene have been awfully good to me, and they have helped my poker career. And several of my readers have been instrumental in getting involved in my backing deals. So, to an extent, I feel like I owe it to these guys to keep writing here. Actually, I think this site will host what is more like my personal Poker Diary...whereas this other place I'm blogging will be more of a take on poker in general, and the people who play it. Less about me, more about poker.  And probably a lot more short and to the point. Definitely two different writing styles. I'll try!!! But editing is not my strong suit!

MID STATES POKER TOUR comes to BATON ROUGE

A couple months ago , I was asked by my friend Chad Holloway, who I've known for over 5 years now...and was/is a writer-reporter for PokerNews, a favor. He has also started to play some, and ended up winning a bracelet in the WSOP employee event last summer. He's a great guy...so when he asked me to give some thought to driving up to Baton Rouge in late February to play this $1100 event, I didn't quickly dismiss it as I would if some random person had told me about it. 

But knowing what kind of person/player would  likely be present at this event, I felt like I was simply driving 2 hours each way so I could light $1100 on fire. I knew there would be those Lafayette maniacs and the Coushatta crazies that I've experienced before. Well, I wasn't disappointed. On the other hand...there were a lot, I would actually say a majority, of good players. And that was good to see. I went up on Friday...passed on the mega satellite they ran at noon...opting to just go, plop down my $1100 and see if I could get lucky. Claudia met me there.

We both got off to equal starts. Lousy. I finally won my first hand with :20 seconds left til the first break. About the same time she won hers! My table draw sucked. Four complete donks. And the guys at MSPT had, and I don't have any idea how they worked this...a few 'MSPT Pros' who they had inserted into the tourney. And one of them...a guy who seriously looked like a heavier version of Tim Tebow, but carried the real name of Matt Alexander, was playing a lot of stupid hands...and playing them with 2 and 3 barrel bets to hammer home the belief that he had the goods. Only problem? He kept getting called, not by the good players. No...those guys (myself included, on a hand where I was sure I had him) kept letting him steal pots. No, it was the swampies who refused to fold middle pair. And he was pummeled, over and over. Not just on Friday, but again on Saturday (I know because I was following the blog that PokerNews was doing for the event) he bought in (or his backers did) not once, twice, or three times...but FOUR times. On his fourth bullet, he surrendered his stack, of 12,000...so that he could rebuy before registration closed...and come back with a stack of 20,000. Great EV move there, wouldn't ya say?

Mr. Alexander got moved to Claudia's table. I texted her to tell her that 'Fat Tebow' was on his way to her table...and to watch out for his incessant bluffing. She ended up putting him on the rail. And the play was classic. It got a nice write up on PokerNews...something like "The Claw knocks out Alexander, then Insults him!" And included a few Tweets from him where he said she called him Fat Tebow. Somehow, I feel slighted! Apparently, she had A2 in the blind...called his button raise (automatic for FT)...and flopped a deuce with a bunch of other things. She calls his flop bet. Calls his turn bet...and on the river...still holding just that lonely deuce, he ships on her...and she calls his ass...the deuce being good. And he left shaking his head. I'll tell you who SHOULD have been shaking his head....the guy from MSPT who decided this guy was worthy of four bullets into this event that attracted a grand total of 114 players. He would have had to finish 6th or higher for them to finish with a profit. Yikes.

I would fire my own second bullet. Not on Saturday though. And frankly, I would not have made that trip back up there the following day to play again if I'd lost late in the day on Friday. Nope. When I lost, there was still 3 minutes left to re-enter...and I just didn't really feel like leaving on the note I would have been leaving on. 

I raised in early position with QQ...and not surprisingly got called by four players. Think we were at 100/200 with a 25 ante and I raised p/f to 550. The flop came 10-x-x...rainbow, both unders, and no straight draw. I led out 850. This guy...who I admit, is NOT a total donkey, I've played with him somewhere else before..and I know he's made some scores...I just don't know why he refused to believe his 10 (with a jack) could actually have my hand beaten...but he sure did. He raises me to 2200. And though I should have just shipped, I figured he had like A10 or maybe even K10...and if I could fade either of those on the turn...was simply going to ship my remaining 6200 and either take down a decent pot, or hopefully get called, hold and get back to a near starting stack. The turn was junk....like a five or something and I shipped.

He couldn't quite grasp why I was doing that. Which told me right away (thankfully) that he didn't have a set. So I knew I was good...and literally said to him "well, now that you've told me what you have, you might as well call and try to hit one of your five outs (two more tens and three more of whatever his kicker was)...which led to more tanking by him. And in fairness, he had amassed quite a few chips...so it wasn't the most horrendous call, if he in fact just had me on AK. Which he must of, since he made the call. I saw his J10 and felt pretty good about my chances to double up and go to break with a starting stack. Whoa...hold the phone! James Ovington...a dealer who is also a Facebook friend, and one of my favorite dealers mainly because I love his dry, sarcastic sense of humor...plops a damn jack on the river. Shit! Then he gives me that look...one I've seen way too many times from dealers I like, the one that says "Shit, Monkey...I'm sorry man!" Hey....it happens. I know it, they know it. But yeah...it still sucks!

So...I now had a decision to make. Rebuy? Or just get in my car and get the hell out of there? Now, I wasn't playing this event backed...so there was no consideration there to make, like...why in the hell would you put another $1100 into a tourney that currently only has 54 entries? A question my wife grilled me about later that night when I returned home. Granted, Day 1B was sure to get (wasn't it???) a lot more, maybe double...the players that the first day got? And I knew that field....and knew I could beat it. So damn, I happened to have $1500 still in pocket, so I bought in again. Screw it!

NEXT:  MONKEY FIRES ANOTHER BULLET!

Palm Beach Wrap Up

Hopes of a birthday that would resonate for years failed to materialize. And there really wasn't any major nightmare hand or 'orbit from hell' to blame it on. I was happy to clear the first hurdle...making the money, as we started the day with 123 players...and about two levels in got down to 72 players. When we were 5 from the money, I had a great chance to go way about an average stack...but when a short stack jammed in 12 bb's with J10, and I looked down at KK...a hand I'd seen getting destroyed all week, I kind of cringed, knowing I had to call, but doing it with little to no confidence at all. Of course, I was happy to see that he wasn't holding a rag ace. Didn't matter...he would go runner runner to make a straight...and I was crippled, leaving me with that all-to-familiar feeling of having to sweat out making the money. Is there anything more annoying?

But we got into the money finally. A while later I had a very huge hand, that almost propelled me to a deep run...deeper than the 38th place I would eventually finish in. I had just come from a broken table...to a new table that featured Nate Kogel...who I'd played with a good portion of the first day with, and gotten to know well, but who no longer had the mountain of chips he had the  last time I'd seen him...and a number of aggressive players. Then,  over in the 9 seat, Mr. Land Yacht himself. And...shocking to no one...he was eating. I was in the 2-seat, so didn't have a real great angle for shooting pictures or video of the life-tilting behemoth. But lucky for me, the tourney's eventual 3rd place finisher did...sitting in the 6-seat...and taking some epic photos and videos that he text messaged to me during the action, as well as a few other players seated around him. At one point there were 4 people laughing at the same time...so hard that they were wiping tears from their eyes. Will I share the video with you? Duh! You know I will. Don't be silly.

So, Mr. Super Aggro young kid raises UTG+1. The guy on the button, a good player I've played against a lot, three bets him from 5500 to 20,100. I look down at 10-10 in the BB. A really, really tough spot to be in. Had I shipped, the first guy would have folded, and the button raiser would have called (with AK). The only way I wasn't getting doubled up (plus some) was if I had folded. This is always a very tough spot...with 10's, J's or Q's. And at the time I wasn't close to desperate, so folding was still a viable option. I decide to flat. The original raiser (not sure wtf he was thinking) calls as well (with 9-6 off) and we see a flop of 9-10-J. I didn't see anyone having KQ..so I felt like checking was the correct play. The original raiser (OR) makes it 35k. Wow. Button folds his AK...and I shoved 46k...11k more for him to call, and he knew he was doomed, but had to call. I held, and suddenly was in great shape, and getting pretty excited.

There is something really cool about playing a Main Event when you get down to 4 tables. You start to realize that all your patience has paid off. You start to understand that if you can just catch a few hands, and manage them correctly, that you are in striking distance of some life-changing money. And when the blinds are as high as they are...it's real easy to go from 10 BB's to chipleader...happens all the time. I never get nervous...not after ten years of doing this. And I won't lie...after the 350+ comment thread that blew up my Facebook wall all week concerning my staking packages as it relates to my mark up? And all the goobers who had decided to make my business their business? A lot of my motivation to keep getting deeper and deeper was to send out a little 'eff you' to those people, while putting a big stinking grin on the face of all my investors' faces.

It was time for a break. The players left the area, and I lingered behind, gathering a few of my things, when the tournament director came over...and blurts out, "What the hell!!?? Where did this pile of bones come from!???" I just started howling. You know where they came from! You got it! 'Ol Cal and his Magical Land Yacht had moored along side the pier that was also known as table 25, seat 9...and wolfed down a whole bird, leaving the carnage under the table for someone to clean up. Pig. And yeah, of course I snuck over there and snapped a picture before they could clean up the  last remnants of that poor bird.

 

One sad bird dies,  so that one man can find happiness for 30 minutes of his miserable life. Rest in peace....chicken!

So...action resumed. Cutting to the chase, I had a hand that if I had a chance to play over again, I would have likely done so. I raised in early position with 7-7 and called by Richard Kirsch, who would end up 3rd, and the SB...a very aggressive player. The flop comes A-Q-5. Lousy ass flop. SB checks...and I checked, regrettably. Had I led out, I think I would have taken the pot down. Kirsch checks. But I'd basically surrendered position by not betting the flop. The turn was like a 4 or something, and maybe if I shipped, they'd have both folded, but I still had a manageable stack and didn't want to get caught in a semi-bluff for my tourney. So after the SB checked, I checked as well...which opened the door for Kirsch to fire in a big bet and take the pot down. 

As I went card dead, and couldn't find any good spots to steal blinds...I started to dwindle down rather quickly. Blinds were getting real high...and I needed to make something happen pretty soon if I wasn't going to be getting a 'real' hand.

That moment arrived when the  action folded around to me on the button and I looked down at a pretty good hand, KJ. I shoved all in with my 8 BB's, actually not even feeling like  I was stealing, with a 'call' not being the worst thing that could happen, maybe. Well,  I got a call, from the BB...who held QQ. Oh shit...and whoops! At least I had one over, right? Well, I  missed it...and was out. 38th. For $3652. I left the odd money, $152...to  the dealers and left with $3500...profiting a grand total of $150 after the two buys-ins were deducted. Marvelous! But my investors all got 1.2% per share of what I won...so they all got about 1/4th of their investments back. For me? Well, it was a losing trip, overall...as I got deep in a lot of the prelims but bricked all of them. I at least had some success in the sit n go's...winning three out of five, one a big one in the $500 with $200 last longer...and somewhat decent results in the cash game.

I retreated to the cash game, where I played 2/5 while waiting on Claudia, who was still in the Main...and who I was really hoping would make the Final Table. I was getting killed in 2/5. I was having a hard time believing what I was watching. Some of the people at this table? I had no idea where they were finding the money to play the game. 
 

What the!??? Lil John plays Poker? Yeahhhhhhhh!!!

And the WAY they were playing the game? I was literally pulling my hair out. After only 2 or 3 hours I was already in for FIVE buy ins of $500. I was on the verge of killing this smart ass in the five seat. Oh he was a real piece of work, and I was the person responsible for filling up his three chip racks, when he made his best play of the night and decided to get the hell out of that place. There were about 8-10 hands he beat me in where I was left incredulous...but the one that left the biggest mark, and his reaction afterwards...that led me to want to play dodgeball with his head....was where I had raised to 25 with AJd....got four calls, and he (who had straddled for 10) decides to price in the whole table with a raise to 40. The flop comes J-3-2. Rainbow. He leads out 60. Now...there is very little chance in that spot, after raising like he did, that he isn't going to be there whether he hit the flop or had anything at all.

But I was going to find out just where he was...and where I  was with top/top. So I make it 150 to go. All the others fold. And dipshit tanks...forever...and like a guy in his first year of poker, is attempting to 'size me up' and get a read, making all the typical newbie facial expressions...I know most of you KNOW this guy. You're like...'come on asshole, do something!' Right? So Johnny Poker decides to smooth call my bet. And guess what comes on the turn? By the way, I left 200 behind my bet...so that should have been enough to tell him when he made his stupid call on the flop...that I was likely not folding to anything on the turn or  river. But...that's probably Poker 102...and he hadn't graduated to that level yet.

Did you guess the turn? No? Well, duh...because I haven't told you what Phil Ivey, Jr. had in his hand. Now I will. He had 88. The turn? An eight. And now...he was the most brilliant poker player on the planet...as he checked to me, and let me shove all in. I got up. Walked to the bathroom....pissed...yes I washed my hands....and took a little walk outside. That was AFTER the verbal maelstrom I unleashed on him. It only got worse over the next two hours. The table was actually enjoying it...and the couple times the dealer tried to curtail it, a few of them asked the floor to let us go on...because it was the most entertainment they'd had in weeks. See, I don't get loud, and use curse words, and try to look tough. I prefer to be witty, use big words I don't think idiots understand, make incriminating insults that I don't think they will get, either. It's fun that way...because only half the table catches what you're saying. And plus, it makes me look so much smarter when they respond with 7th-grader level comebacks. 

Look at this punk. And yes! He's one of those assholes who, every time he raises, the glasses go on! We love that guy don't we???

This kid though? He finally pushed my last untapped button...and I don't even know what he said...but it was enough to get me to follow him out the door and attempt to beat his ass in the parking lot. Well, I was intercepted by someone from the poker room, a floor guy, who'd heard the whole thing go down. And interestingly enough...and this is rare in my poker life, the guy actually had my back. Told the kid he was way out of line, had said things that anyone in my shoes would likely find reason enough to beat his ass over, and that he needed to leave and not come back. That was some satisfaction. Then he told me to have a good rest of the night. Hmmm. Okay, thanks.

So I did. I went back in and started kicking ass. Oh, I lost one more buy in first...and so, in for 6 buy ins....$3000....I mounted my big comeback. And as I looked up at the tournament clock...which, despite the fact they were playing upstairs, they kept a clock downstairs for us to see, I saw that their were only 15 players left, and Claudia was still one of them. Nice!

I look down at 77. There is a raise. And a re-raise...by a pretty tight player. This is my chance to win a big pot. I call. Everyone calls. 75 preflop....by 6 players! $450 in the middle preflop. And here comes the dream flop! 7-3-3. NO effing way! Bet. Raise. Call. Oh this is like heaven! I just flat. Another call. Hundreds more in the middle. A three on the turn. Ugh. No wait. No...I'm still okay. But holy shit...what if another 3 hits the river? That would  be the worst beat of all time! By this time I figure I have GOT to be up against some BIG overpairs...and am just holding my breath that I can avoid one of them hitting the river. The turn. More betting....now some raising. It gets all in from FOUR of us. And I am just praying for something under an 8 on the river....just not a three. The river is a jack. Oh holy shit. Please....NOOOO!!!! The cards are turned over. KK. 10-10. And QQ. Hell yes! My sevens hold. And I win the biggest pot I've ever won...in ten years of playing poker, in a cash game. Close to $1900 in that pot. 

But before I was even close to done stacking my chips? I get a text from Claudia. Guy raised...with Q10h. She re-raised on the button with KK. He calls. Flops a set of kings. Guy, who would eventually win the whole tournament...check raises her all in with a flush draw...and gets there. She was out. 15th. One damn busted flush draw away from being in the top three in chips and almost certainly making the final table. Oh no...

It really took the shine off that cash hand. For sure. She came down, I gave her my keys, and let her take my car back to the hotel. I stayed and played cash, getting close to even before calling it a night.

Claudia and I decided to play the last ring event...a $365 turbo, the next day. I  lasted two hands. She followed me out about 5 minutes later. It was brutal. We stayed and played cash all day, as they were running a promotion, where the high hand every 15 minutes won $500. I never, not once, in 8 hours won one. She managed to win once. We left about 10pm...went to the hotel, packed up, checked out, stopped and got four movies, and hit the road. I ended up driving the whole way....12 hours...and when I got home, basically slept for two days! I was drained. But I was so happy to be home, and see my baby, and Squirrel. It had been a long, frustrating trip. But at least I had a good roomie, a good road trip partner, and she made a little money on the trip. And my investors got a little something back. Which....incidentally, I decided to double as a gesture of my appreciation, after my final table finish this weekend up in Baton Rouge at the Belle of Baton Rouge...which I'll talk about in my next post.

Monkey

Birthday Wish? Final Table!

Well...here we go again. It's been a somewhat 'entertaining' week, listening to the poker 'experts' rip me to shreds on my 'markup' for my investment packages...as they have ran the comment count up to over 250 on my Facebook wall, and some others, like Allen Kessler, chose to copy my post to their own wall...and pose the question, 'Exactly how much juice is this guy charging?' This guy? Me...the guy who I thought was friends with THAT guy.

To be fair? I have had a pretty substantial number of players come to my rescue, offering their take on the matter. What these people just can't seem to hammer into their thick skulls? Is that there is no SET rule for selling poker investment packages. The 2+2 crowd would have you THINK there is, however. And anyone who tries to exceed their limitations, is entering into the world of Bernie Madoff and his boys. Oh yes, I have been labeled the Enron of poker!

My wife even felt compelled to finally weigh in. Which really touched me. The 'ol Squirrel is usually quite content to stay hidden in the shadows where my poker exploits are involved. She will give me her tidbits of advice though, just away from the spotlight. Well, when she jumps into a conversation/debate you know someone has touched a nerve.

So yeah...it's been a pretty exciting week. While all that was/is going on...I've been playing some poker. In four prelim events, I managed to make the dinner break in three of them. I cashed in none of them. Oh I came close...in all of them. But they all had their own little tale of disaster attached to them, and for whatever reason, I found myself back downstairs playing cash game or sit n go's.

On Friday night...after having played and lost in the  Main Flight A...I played cash game for about five hours...then 'The Claw' and I decided it was time to play a $500 sit n go. With a $200 last longer. I also decided, after a long, painful week...that it was time for a drink or two. Claudia joined me. Long story short? We crushed that sit n go. We got heads up...played it out for pride (she beat me) and we split up $6,400. We then headed for IHOP to cheat on our diets! It was a great way to end an otherwise shitty day, one where we both busted out of Flight A after a nightmarish experience. Personally? I flopped a set twice, and river trips another time...only to lose ALL OF THEM...and somehow I still had chips. I finally would move in with 66 and run smack dab into aces...which held.

So...that sit n go? It happened on Saturday, February 15th. That's right...we had already turned the page on Valentine's Day...since midnight had come and gone. So after sleeping...we returned to the scene of the crime for Take Two in the Big One to make our mark, to stake our claim to 1000's of bones, and take home to our loved ones....a big breath of fresh air.

My first three levels I didn't do dick. For starters, I drew one of the most difficult tables in the entire tourney. Don't believe me? It was the first thing I saw on WSOP.com when trolling for updates...they specifically called attention to my table, with the likes of Nate Kogel, Mike 'Carwash' Schneider, a guy they call 'Uncle Krunk' and several internet wizardly types...and I suspect, a few members of the Markup Police. At first break I had 18k...a couple thousand below starting stack.

I won my first big hand with KK...that hand I've watched go down in flames more times this week (by other players, not me) than any time in the last ten years. It's been astonishing. Well...Nate put in one of his many raises in early position....and there was a 2nd raise to 2200. I decided to not play it cute...and since I really needed to win a pot to reverse my poor momentum, I decided to play it to end it pre-flop. So I re-popped it to 5800. Nate folded, but the other guy called. Ugh. The flop came J-3-6. He leads out for 2400. I laid out 6200. He calls. Oh no. What THIS time? The turn brought a 6...which made me feel a little better. He checked this time. I bet 7500. He tanks...then looks at me, and says "Hmmm...that smells like kings!"  Good read sir. He folded.

A while later...on a 4-way hand, me holding 88...the flop came 6-8-9. Two diamonds. It got real nasty....action on the flop and turn...then the guy in the small blind decided to check-raise me all in on the turn...putting me to a HUGE decision. Shit. I spent the entire day on Flight A losing with sets...and there was a lot of things out there beating me. But I had also played with this guy a bit, and I knew two things. (a) he liked to bluff. (b) he knew I was one of the only players capable of folding a set in that spot. I sat there thinking....and verbally said "I have a bad feeling you have J10 (for a straight) and I'm about to get my set crushed again" but I don't know, maybe our dealer can pair the board for me. Wow...tough call here."  I made the call. He simply utters..."I can't beat a set, in fact...I have no outs to win." Talk about feeling good. There are no sweeter words to hear than "I'm drawing dead!"  He didn't even want to turn his cards over, but of course the dealer made him. He was out...and I dragged my biggest pot of a very long day.

One of my worst calls of the day...one that I thought might end up costing me the tourney....was on the first hand after dinner break. I went to dinner break with 52k...which was far ahead of the average of 36k. So here we go. There is an all in from a short stack for 7500. Then this rather aggressive Asian guy wearing a Men The Master logo on his track jacket, goes all in as well...for 13,900. I look down at 99 on the button. Shit. Its roughly a quarter of my stack to call, with the chance to knock out two players. Or...if I can beat the one guy while losing to the shorter stack...I still almost break even on the call. Hmmm....damn. And I don't know, officially if this was a good call or a bad call. I even asked 4 or 5 of my trusted poker friends. They all made an argument for both sides of the coin. I called.

I was up against A8 and....ugh...ACES! Yuck. But I did manage to turn a straight draw AND a flush draw...before bonking the river. That set me back a lot. And then I went card dead. Oh no...not this song and dance, again! I blinded down to 25k and was really starting to get nervous.

Then I get 88 again, under the gun. I raise to 2500 at 500/1000. I get four callers. Yikes! The flop comes 7-8-9. I can think of better flops. But also worse ones. I check. The guy behind me checks. And Nate (predictably) bets the flop for us. He puts out 4200. It comes back to me, and I raise to 10,200. Then the guy after me makes it 24,000. Nate folds. What the fuck? Whatever...I'm not folding. I kind of think maybe he has A10...or maybe a set of sevens. Wrong. He has freaking KK. Wow! He decided to play it sneaky preflop...and kind of had it blow up in his face. The dealer puts out the remaining two cards after we both got it  all in...and I see three diamonds out there and his King of diamonds catches my eye. All I'm watching for is a diamond...and when a diamond hits the river, I thought I'd lost. Until I noticed that the turn card was a nine...and the rest of the table was laughing at me. Again!

Earlier...when a guy had tried to bluff me, and I made what I felt was a hero call...I saw his cards...and thought he'd turned a straight, and reacted emotionally...only to realize he was merely open-ended and had missed on the river. Whooops! So same deal on the 8's...I'd won with a boat...and scooped an enormous pot to get my stack back to a healthy number...something like 90k!

Another big hand would happen towards the end of the night...when I raised UTG with JJ...got called again by four people...and flopped 7-8-10...with two spades. Not a bad flop. I lead out on the flop....one fold, two folds, and this guy shoves all in. Shit. Folds back to me. I can't fold to this guy...it's another 25k...which had I lost would have set me back to about 30k. But whatever. I put him on a flush draw. Nope. Pocket nines. Gross. He turns a six....shit! At least I still have outs....I need a nine or a spade....and on the river...SPADE!!!

I responded with my biggest emotional reaction in a poker tourney in a LONG time. Then I regathered myself...or tried to. I was no over 100k. I won a few more decent pots...and when it came time to bag up...had 128,000 chips...sitting 33rd out of the remaining 123 players. We head back at noon (45 minutes from now) to get started on Day 2...with 72 people getting paid. But that has no bearing for me. It's final table or bust!

Joining me....my roommate. The Claw! She had a day a lot like mine, except she was up big early...topping the 100k mark early in the day....only to encounter a train wreck level that decimated her stack and left her with only 25k. But she rebounded well...and at the end of the night bagged up 118k. So we are both heading back healthy, and optimistic.

I haven't asked for anything for my birthday in probably 20 years. But today? On my 47th birthday? Yeah! I would like to ask the Poker Gods to PLEASE let my superior hands hold up! Please....allow my one,  maybe two bluffs to NOT get called! And for the love of god...can I be allowed to suck out once or twice myself, if necessary? That's all I ask! I need this, I want this....to re-establish myself as a poker player who knows what the hell he's doing. And to give these members of the 'MarkUp Mafia' something to suck on!!!!

HERE WE GO!!!!

MONKEY 

Slap In the Face to those WITH Disabilities

In the past two decades, our country has taken large strides to provide protection for those who have been put at a disadvantage. I'm talking about the American's With Disabilities Act of 1990,  or ADA. This was introduced as a means of making sure that those with disabilities would have a way to function in society as close to normal as any other person. A few examples are handicap bathrooms, ramps for those confined to wheelchairs, special elevators, parking places at nearly every public location. If you are unaware of the ADA, you are living with your head in the sand.

If you are a professional poker player (or part-timer) or spend a lot of time in casinos, you are acutely aware of the growing number of people buzzing around on those scaled-down versions of golf carts. Scooters. Hove-a-rounds...they come with different names, but they are all mechanized carts to shuttle those who either CAN'T walk on their own, or simply choose NOT to walk  on their own. These people come in all shapes and sizes, and with all different demeanors. My least favorite, are the ones who also probably smoke cigarettes. If you are a non-smoker then you know what I'm alluding to. The smoker who could give two shits less about your personal air. Doesn't care if you are allergic to smoke, or just trying to go home not smelling like tar and nicotine.

You know these folks. Speed limit? Does one really need to be enforced? Or should people just know better than to go ripping through the aisles of a casino at 35 mph? I've contemplated the ways to retaliate against these bastards. About the time I had a guy who weighed about 450-500 lbs roll over my foot one day while on a tournament break up in Tunica about 4 years ago, I've had a special dark place in my heart for those fuckers.

Just so that are perfectly, 100% clear...I am NOT against providing rights for these people. What I AM against, are the people who are taking advantage of those rules to serve their needs, when they don't qualify as someone who needs protection under that law. And the number one violator of that law...happens to be among us at this current poker event.

I've been playing with this guy for years. Some of the players here, it's their first experience with this  guy. Everyone is saying the same exact thing, and not just the players..but the dealers as well. Why? Well...it would be one thing if this guy just happened to be your ordinary, run of the mill overweight man. Who sat in a chair like all the other poker players. But that is NOT this guy.

No...this guy cruises around in his own personal Land Yacht. And he refuses to park it. So he just parallel parks that bitch into his 'space' at the table..always helping himself to the 3 or the 8 seat, even though everyone else gets a 'randomly selected' seat. The unlucky players on either side of him wince in horror, as they know they will be spending the rest of the day (or however long it takes for CartZilla to donk off his chips) riding shotgun on the person's leg who is seated next to them. As a poker player...it is the worst beat you can take before every seeing a hand.

Coupled with the space this guy commands at the table, he is almost ALWAYS either eating while playing...or has food on the way. And manners? Haha...good one. Eating with his mouth open, talking with food in his mouth...piece of food in one hand...cards in the other...it's borderline vomit-inducing. In a sit n go down here last year...he was mid-bite in his salad when he suddenly coughed, sending shards of his meal flying all over my arm. The table stared at me...in horror, waiting on what was sure to be an epic Monkey Melt Down. Instead...I sat there, unfazed, cold, expressionless eyes....staring at the food on my arm. Which elicited that awkward laughter I'm sure you can imagine.

He is disliked by the dealers as well...as they almost all complain about his rudeness on a regular basis. They also agree that him being allowed to pull his beast-mobile into the table, whereas other large people who use them, but who have perfectly good use of their legs, park theirs away from the table and out of the way...and sit in a chair like the rest of us.....is unfair. To everyone. 

Yesterday, while playing a SNG...I was in the 5 seat. Well, these tables here are close together to start out with. But he was in the 3-seat (and 2 and 4 seat, for the most part) and what that meant was I was PINNED to my seating area. If I wanted to get out, it was impossible. If there had been a fire, I would have had to stand up and dive through the fucking window to get away. I couldn't move back an inch. I was slowing coming out of my skin. Finally he donked off all his chips, going out 7th...and clearing away the space made empty after a day of cleaning out your garage. 

My question? WHY? Why is this guy allowed to inconvenience every person at the poker table, players who have paid good money to assume a chair they have to hope will be unimpeded by the person next to them? We are all pretty sensitive to those who NEED the chair to function. In fact I have two friends who come to mind...no, make it three, who REQUIRE a chair to sit at a poker table and play. Have no problem with it. Glad to have them there playing. Would do anything to help them, whenever possible. And they know that. But when a person...who is perfectly able to get up....walk...and sit in a chair decides he is going to park his ship at the table? It's bullshit.

So...yesterday, as the rhetoric has been building surrounding this guy over the course of the few days I've been here...and other events before this, I decided to ask one of the floor people in management the golden question:

"Why do you guys let him park that thing at the table? Do you guys realize he ISN'T handicapped? That he is just obese and lazy?"

And I got my answer, and it was a predictable response. They just, frankly, don't know how to approach it. They aren't sure if he NEEDS it. (he doesn't) And to order him to sit in a chair, they are concerned, worried actually, that they would somehow be in violation of the ADA...and hence, they are trying to avoid a possible lawsuit. I get that. So they just kind of tolerate it. And make all of us suffer. So its not so much that poker room managers 'allow it' to happen, as much as they nervously just 'let it go' because they are more worried about the possible repercussions. 

Well, something needs to be done about it. I speak for a large majority when I say this has gone on long enough. If you are carrying a card, that states that you are legally disabled, and require a scooter or wheelchair, then FINE...you can play poker at the table, in that device. If you CAN NOT provide that information? Then you sit in a fucking chair, like the rest of us! And oh...if it wouldn't be too much of a bother, bathing before you attend an event, and maybe splashing on some cologne and/or deodorant? Would that be so much to ask? Just think about the poor bastards who have to sit next to you ALL DAY! Or until you get it in bad for the one millionth time and say goodbye to all your chips. TAKE A SHOWER! And please...cover your fucking mouth when you cough. And stop talking with food in your mouth. It's gross!

Allowing these lazy fuckers to pull up to the table in their Land Yachts is nothing but a slap in the face to those people who have actual disabilities. I've talked to a couple of them...and they are grossly offended by it. I pay good money, and so does everyone else...to go play in these tournaments. And the minute you see that fucking heap rolling up on that red scooter....you start to cringe...since that 8-seat next to you is currently unoccupied. 

"Oh god no....please god...don't do it to me....NO...NO .....NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

And when he does pull in, requiring everyone within a 25 foot radius to completely reconfigure where their were previously sitting...you go on INSTA-TILT...knowing your day just became all about either putting a silent bounty on him to get him gone as soon as possible, or going on tilt yourself and donking off all your chips. Are you feeling me yet? ITS FUCKED UP!

Or....we can all just cross our fingers....and hope, that if poker room managers aren't going to do something about this guy, and make him conform like everyone else is expected to...that he will go the same route as that wonderful Mr. Creosote in "The Meaning of Life."

Okay...it's time now to go tackle the $1100, Event 9. The last two days...in the $365 6-Max and the $365 NL yesterday, I started one out like a house on fire...sitting on 30k by Level 2...only to see a cacophony of disasters bust me out about 20 from the money. Then yesterday, I was as card dead through nine levels of a tournament as I've been in four years...and I remember that tourney, it was at Venetian...never seen anything like it until yesterday. Then I double up with J10 vs. A5...I triple up with QJ vs. AJ and KQ....my table breaks....I pick up AA for the first time all day....flat an early raiser for 2000...get three more to call. A king-high flop checks to me, and I shove all in for 6k...getting called by one guy, who had KQ. I hold, win a huge pot...and after raising on the button with 99....getting called by the BB, and flopping a set (winning the hand) I was suddenly up to 29k! With the average at 30k. Wow. Now had a shot.

Forget it. Right before dinner break I raised with AKh. Get called by the button and the BB. Flop comes A-3-7. I bet 3000. Guy on button ships. For another 12k. Hmm. I call. A10. Good call. River 10. Fuck. Went to dinner. Came back, and busted on the 2nd hand. Calling a min raise from cut off with A4...flopping 3-5-6....check raising all in,  and seeing that he flopped a set of sixes. Shit. Then bricking out. Busto....21 from the money.

Went down and won another sit n go...that's two now on the trip...and played cash game til midnight, picking up a few hundred bucks. Slept like a baby...and am now ready to go run good in the $1100...and hopefully stick a fork in these asshole's thrashing of me and my 'backing deal' on my Facebook wall...a thread that has been going on now for like 7 days...and now incorporates about 165 posts. I won't even go into detail on that one...other than to say its consumed  way too much of my time this week, and has served to reinforce my opinions about this 'new age' group of poker players and just how fucking annoying they are with their 'know-it-all'  thoughts and ideas on 'poker staking.' If you weren't aware...poker staking has been regulated by Congress when you weren't looking...and now ALL STAKING DEALS now must conform with strict guidelines laid out by our new Poker Czars from the online  world. Most of these 'wizards' you can find hiding behind their keyboards, gnashing their teeth, and pounding on their 'instruments of doom' in places like the 2+2 Forums. They are a delightful lot, and are sure to turn any 'good day' you may be having, into a S.E.A.L. mission where it becomes your primary objective to hunt them down, and when they least expect it....ambush them. Their removal from the poker landscape causes nobody a single wink of unrest.  They simply become a footnote in the annals of poker lore.

Okay, I really must go. Wish me well today. Or don't. Be a hater and wish me failure....that motivates me MORE actually, anyway!

MONKEY

Time For a Change of Scenery...

 

Well, Coconut Creek managed to chew me up and spit  me out. The Main Event started out pretty decent. I drew a very tough table. And seat 1...which I loathe with a passion. 1 or 9. We had 5 very good players, 2 decent players, and 2 lousy players. Probably not hard to predict that I would have all of my problems with the lousy player seated on my left.

 

We started with 30k chips. I was up about $2000 after the first break. Then in the next stanza...I lost a huge hand, with good 'ol pocket kings..to the fish in seat 2. I would raise preflop. He would call with 55. The flop came 9-7-4. I bet a good amount on flop, he called...why? No idea. Oh...he 'put me on AK.' Of course...they always do! He conveniently turned a five. I lose 13k on the hand when its all said and done.

 

I rallied. Got it back up to 30k by the next break and felt a lot better. Then in Level 5 I won a couple big pots...including one where I check raised this twerp who had been constantly raising my blind with crappy hands. He folded...and that pot put me near 40k. Then it happened.

 

I look down at AA. That great feeling I used to get when looking down at those two beauties...has dimmed lately. Ace of hearts, Ace of spades. I raise to 800. The fish, the nemesis, seated next to me, min raises, to 1600. I then re-raise to 4800. He hesitates. Then calls. The flop comes Kh-10h-6h. I look to make sure I have the ace of hearts. I do. Great place to check and induce a bet from him. I check. He bets 5200. I have a weird feeling he has AK. I make it 13,200. Then he instantly puts me all in.

 

Shit! That tells me he has got KK. Unreal. but I've got two cards to catch a heart...or another ace...to go to 80,000...be in the top five in chips...and cruise the rest of the day probably. Plus...he COULD just as easily have QQ or JJ with a heart. I call. Yup. KK. And I whiff on the flush or hitting an ace. And bust.

 

I go play cash for an hour...winning $140 in half an hour. Then decide to go 'try my luck' in the 6pm $560. It comes with a $30k guarantee, which is generally just an after thought, since very few 'guarantee' tourneys ever fail to reach their number. but this one? When I eventually got busted, again with AA...the same ace of hearts and the ace of spades (this time to a clown with KJ who had three hands before re-raised a guy with 3-7 offsuit...and magically hit a gutshot straight on the turn) their were only 21 players...and were paying 6 spots...meaning all of them were going to win decent money.

 

Had I known how the next ten hours were going to turn out (playing 2/5 cash game) I would have re-bought into that $560 and gone for the top 6 payouts. Well, obviously I'm not Nostradamus...like the imbecile in the 2-seat during the Main. Oh...it wasn't just me he did that to. I watched him float the flop bet on FOUR other occasions, only to get the card he needed on the turn THREE times. I started calling him 'The Floater.' Not sure if he enjoyed that nickname. Frankly, I didn't care.

 

I  played 2/5 for the next 10 hours....since I knew I wasn't playing on Sunday...but would wait around for Claudia, who had made it back for Day 2 with a small stack. I grinded for hours...getting my 800 buy in busted...bought in for another 500...and after a marathon, ran it up to 1600...or +$300 for the session. Smart move? Get up and GTF out of there with a profit, albeit slim. Dumb move? Try to run it up to $3000 and get to even on the trip. Dumb move would see me flop top set (on a flop of 6-3-4) against a guy who had raised behind me....leading out for $45. I raised to $105. He makes it $225. I'm looking at the board and asking myself...could he really have raised with 2-5? Or 5-7? He wasn't a bad player...so I had a hard time putting him on an overpair...he was capable of folding that. He definitely had SOMETHING. Maybe a set of threes or fours.

 

And I just couldn't see bringing myself to fold...knowing how many outs I had if he DID have a straight...to win...get my stack to over $3000...and leave with a really good taste in my mouth. I call the $225 to see what the turn brings. It brings a king. He shoves all in. Okay...now why would he do that if he had a straight? I really start thinking he has threes or fours.  Or maybe 55....for a pair with open ended straight draw. I call. Then watch the river bring nothing to help me...a ten. He turns over 2-5 of clubs. Oh my god. He DID raise with that. And flopped a damn straight. I want to throw up. That was it. I got up and left.

 

Sunday, I took Claudia to the casino, came back to my room and essentially slept, off and on...all day!

 

We are going to get packed up, check  out of this room, and drive to Palm Beach, look for a room up there...then play the back end of the schedule up there, hoping to make a hit somewhere along the line before next weekend's main event there.

 

Monkey