And while this is going on I have what I believe to be a developing medical condition...and if there are any doctors out there reading this who can make a diagnosis based on what I am about to write...please email me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com.
Last week, in fact, last Thursday specifically, I slid into 2nd base to break up a double play. I irritated my left knee, which caused a bit of swelling. The next day, I dove for a grounder in the gap while playing 2nd base...and irritated that same knee even more. By the end of the day my left knee was swollen, and a lot of my lower leg as well. As the last 7 days have gone by the swelling has moved down my leg...and now most of the swelling is in my feet. If I look at the bottom of my feet they are red...as if I am looking at internal bleeding possibly. My leg from the knee down feels kind of numb and tingly. I have iced it several times...and kept it elevated at night. I have no idea what the problem is. And do not want to go to a doctor up here out of network. Unless someone tells me I am about to lose my leg. Please help!
Who wants to see some funny photos? I know how much you guys like funny pictures. The first one is of a guy....a complete tool...who was in my $210 Sit N Go the other night. Oh...and BTW, I should say...I am not the photographer in ANY of these photos...they have all been either emailed to me or text messaged to me by friends and/or fellow players. I have been 'disciplined' before for 'taking photos' in the casino...and have strictly sworn off of it...but if people want to send me photos, hell, I'll use em!
Back to 'crop circles on head' guy. Oh, at some point in the table conversation he revealed to everyone that he 'owns a strip club' and other juicy information that you would love to hear if your daughter brought him home one night. What got me wanting to see him attacked by an angry pack of dogs, was during this particular SNG with a $100 last longer, 7 players in that, and another $20 last longer with 9....and me needing/wanting a win to get my trip back on course. I raised in early position with JJ...and of course got called by half the table.
The flop comes K-Q-J. Rainbow. He bets out 250. There was over 1000 in the pot. It came to me and I raised to 850. Everyone folded to him. He moved all in. Well... I wasn't folding....just couldnt put him on A-10 or 9-10 and if he did have that...sure hope I paired the board. Oh no, he turns over Q-8 offsuit. Yep. Called the preflop raise with it....then the re-raise after the flop...but didn't just call the re-raise, shoved. So what does the dealer do for me? Well, duh....goes 9-10 runner runner, giving idiot boy the straight. It's safe to say I was pissed. And then...as I was sitting there looking at him, and his ridiculous hair...it dawned on me: I'm not him!
I then went and played a $130 SNG...which...eventually, I would win...also with $100 last longer and 5 players. So that was good for a $1000 hit. Needed it! After that...Jason Young, on his last night in Chicago, not sure why exactly...I know partially because he was running bad...but, leaving the day of Megas for the Main? Weird. Well, he puts together a little $70 SNG...with no T.D.A. rules, and turns it into a drinking contest...and we get a whole table full of buddies, except for this one old guy, who I guess got the last seat. Well, we drove him nuts, and he ended up going on tilt, and I think I busted him. We were showing cards, Kai at one point ended up ripping the 8 of clubs in half and eating half of it. A new dealer shoved in and started to freak out...calling the floor over, only to be told that "anything goes with these guys" except of course killing each other. That was strictly forbidden, although I did threaten the life of one of the guys who kept calling me 'Buddy.' I hate that. Okay, I'm sort of kidding there.
I don't know what we were drinking...but we drank a lot of them...and after running it three times and me still losing with K10 against the other guys' AA....I was out...and Kai and I left in our rental car....at one point driving the wrong way down a street, at least that is what my wife told me she heard some angry motorist yelling at us as she and I were talking on my cell phone to her. No, I was not the driver....Kai was, and in his defense, I drove the wrong way out of the parking deck last night myself, and was sober as a judge. It's just a confusing parking deck.
Yesterday was a grind...a very long ass grind. And after coming back from dinner break...I was in pretty good shape. I pick up JJ on the first hand...and though I was in the middle of looking for Adam Nash's blog on my Blackberry, titled YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE....
which I highly recommend you check out...I feel it necesary to play the hand. So I raise to 2700 from 400/800.
Then Ed Corrado goes into his Oscar performance in the SB...pausing,thinking,pondering...hmmm....what do I do with pocket aces? Do I call? Do I raise? Should I shove....is Monkey buying that I have a middle pair here? How long should I milk it for? Then he finally shoves all in.
Fuck it. I call. Its another 5200 on top...and will leave me with 5500...which isn't exactly where I wanted to be. Yeah great...nice hand Ed. I dont get a jack. And now I am in bad shape.
I get into even worse shape. Falling to 3200. Then Frank and Piper Kasella show up. Frank came by to visit me earlier, in the noon mega. I guess he must be starting to get famous probably because as soon as he left, about 6 players at the table started talking about him, and wondering how I knew him.
"Oh, Frank used to cut my hair back when he was a hair stylist in Memphis."
Well, he showed up this time with Piper, who is a very good buddy of mine, but only on Facebook! We like to trade witty barbs all the time. About 3 seconds after they arrive I get raised by a guy with about 90 million chips and AKh...and me and my four big blinds move all in with 77. I flop a 7 and I was on my way. In fact...I won't even bore you with the rest. There were 18 winners. And with 20 left, the guy who had been driving me crazy all day decides after some hesitation to jam on me from the SB into my BB with J3h. I had 'El Diablo' It was roughly 28% of my stack to call him. I made the call...and K10 held up. 1 left. Didn't take long before KQ shoved into AK on the other table...with AK holding, and we were there. Finally. Sweet. And my Mega success in 2010 continues.
It is now 9:27am, and I have promised to meet Frank and Piper for breakfast at 11am, so I must hurry. But I really do have a lot to tell you guys about. Why are my hits down so much this month? Only 3200 right now...compared to almost 8,000 last month. Guess I need to win something, huh? The nightly's don't really count do they? Not anymore especially, after my last two big Main Event hits. You know what's weird? I haven't been able to do shit in noon tourneys lately, UNLESS they are Main Events...which, quite frankly, I am perfectly okay with!
Yes, on Sunday night...I staked my lovely wife and I to play in the nightly with 185 of Chicago's finest. And when we made the final table (we NOT including the Squirrel) I had the chiplead. And probably should have won. The top two finishers also recieved an entry into the $1600 Main Event, which would have been nice. The structure got out of control, at 10k/20k...so I decide to make a huge gamble, based on a couple of factors. (a) I was running like God that night (b) I wanted to get heads up with the other guy holding a 3-1 chip lead (c) I wanted to take out the two shorter stacks and lock up the Main seat....and (d) I was drunk!
So when shorty raised, and even shorter shoved...and I looked at 3c6c...a.k.a. 'The Mafia' also known as 'The Jimmy Sommerfeld' I decided after some trepidation to go for the kill. I knew these two guys' range, and put them both on a big ace. I was dead on...up against AK and AQ. I flop open ended...then turn a flush....holy shit! How do I miss this? Well, I did. And it crippled me. And I would go out 4th not too long after that for $1700. But at least it paid for our wonderful day at the football game. And started out the trip with a cash in my first ever tourney.
I told you there was some shenanigans with 'The Claw' in the 6-handed tourney. There was. But I have decided to leave the details in the clubhouse. Out of respect to a lot of various people. There was just something that happened at the table that I was not just pissed about, but disappointed in her over. Claudia is too good of a friend to my wife to completely shut her out of my life, I guess...but right now, I just don't want to be around her. I suppose I might get over it...but its just going to take me awhile. Saw her in the cash room last night when I was getting the car keys from Kai to get out of there...and I have to admit, she looked pretty amazing. And she did come try to talk to me...and I just have a hard time being an asshole to her. Dammit.
So...then I was having a nice conversation with Adam Nash...a really good dealer, and a funny motherF(*@#^ in general...and along comes this piece of work. We both see her, and her boots get our attention, because quite frankly, almost ANY girl wearing the boots that go up to their knees are afforded an instant 3 pt addition to any girls overall score/ranking. But then we check out the rest of her. She has a very long horse face...and she was with her guido boyfriend, who looks like he might deliver sausage to pizzerias around Chicago, maybe. Then she walks by us...and the laughter begins. She is wearing a shirt that ends about 5 inches before her jeans. Thus revealing the creepiest muffin top of all time. And this look might be okay if she was hauling around some big cans...but she wasn't. In fact, she had those nasty pancake tata's that gross most of us out. But the tramp stamp across the back was the deal sealer. And as bad as I wanted to take a photo...I simply refused...but another player who happened along and heard me say this...decides to get brave...and walked over and captured this magic on film for you all to enjoy. So...without further ado...here she is....DIG IN! And please...no throwing up on my blog page
I realize there are a few of you fellas out there who might actually be saying to yourself...."what is Monkey talking about? That bitch is fine!" Well, okay red, that is ALL YOU buddy!
I like Tosh.O as you all know, and have been clamouring to get home to see the episode where he has former Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton on his show for a 'Web Redemption.' Well, I got to searching for it...and not only found IT...but a nice little clip of when she was on the TODAY SHOW with Ann Curry and Matt Lauer after all of that went down. Its pretty priceless...so I have added it here for you to watch. What the hell is it with all of these young girls now days with the word ACTUALLY? It used to be a good word...they have killed it. And I don't care how nervous this ditz says she was...she is just pure and simple...a box of rocks. Is she cute? Sure...but how much use could she possibly be to anyone once the sex gets old?
TOSH.O's Web Redemption>>>>>in appearance on Tosh.O
So...I'm not sure if I wrote about it yet...but I got a total shocker of a phone call from the Days Inn in Bridgeview two days ago...while I was in the noon fiasco they decided to call the STIMULUS tourney. If I heard "okay, players in the Stimulus tourney...blinds are going up" one more time, I was going to stab my inner ear drum with an ice pick! They found my stuff. All of it! Except....for my iPod. Why would they turn in my pills...my headphones...but open up the case and swipe my iPod? So stupid. Whatever, I still left them a reward/tip.
Just means when I get home I have to go buy a new iPod and just synch it to my Itunes library. But I won't have tunes for the rest of this trip...and that sucks ass.
I have been contemplating the purchase of an iPad...and everyone raves about it. But I have also got people telling me to hold out for the G2...or next generation of iPad, which is scheduled to come out in two months or so. Not sure I can make it that long. And watching these guys that have them at the table...they seem SO entertained. And whats great...is they seem to have avoided falling onto the poker dictators radar so far...so they are still LEGAL to use at the table. Of course, a week after I buy mine I'm sure they will immediately get banned by the Poker Monsters.
I have a major dilemna. And what's funny, is that my sister, who isn't even an experienced poker player...asked me the question that has me in a funk after I got done winning that mega last night.
"How are you going to satellite into the $10k Main Event on Monday if you are still playing in the $1600 Main Event?"
Excellent question little sister. And a topic of conversation that I was having with Kai earlier. See, this circuit event has TWO Main Events...I know, kind of weird right? But still...very cool. Only the scheduling has a few problems. Namely, if I make the Final Table of the $1600 'event Main Event'...it will keep me from playing the $550 Mega Satellites on Sunday for the 'Regional' Main Event that starts on Monday. And since my game plan as a poker player with my backer...is to NOT ever buy directly into 10k Main Events. Its just a bad investment idea. So I am kind of not knowing what to do.
So...here ya go blog readers. I am offering anyone the opportunity to stake the Monkey in the $10,000 Regional Main Event...for a 55% stake. I will then give my backer 10% of my 45%. I don't think I need to market myself...if you read my blog, you know how I am running in Main Events this fall. And I really don't want to miss out on this Main Event...as it will be televised, and also go a long way in qualifying for the end-of-year National Championship freeroll at Ceasers Palace Las Vegas. If you are interested, you know how to find me.
What else? It is now 9:56am. I know I am forgetting something. Its been a very entertaining week. There were two really stupid things that happened that I want to tell you about, and maybe I will later...but now I'm in a hurry, and plus this entry has gotten really long.
Oh! My roomie from Vegas...Don Norman....also won his seat last night along with Dan and I? And to do it...he had to fold KK preflop! A huge fold...and was shown AA by the other guy! Nice fold Smilin Don! See...that was how he kept going out all summer in Vegas...guess he learned his lesson about KK on the bubble!!!!!
Oh...one little note about today's Main Event. There will be all kinds of shit bag, dead money players in this event. How do I know? Am I just saying this to be ugly? No...not at all. Its official. Its confirmed. Its a 100% bonafide statement. For months...they have been giving away seats to this event...but virtue of drawing names out of a tub....or walking over to a 1/2 table...or 3/6 limit table...literally high carding people for a seat! Are those the people you want at YOUR table for a Main Event where you're playing for half a million to a million bucks? I would say yes...and no! I want them to pay me off on a 'nut hand' but I sure won't be trying to bluff them. I will be working hard to identify these clowns right away today!!!!
I will try to keep you all updated with mobile blogs throughout this weekends event. Have a great Friday!
Monkey
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2 comments:
Quality stuff. I'd call a doctor about the legs.
I think you should call a doctor. If your foot is red & hot (like it has fever),this could be an indication of a blood clot. You should really have it checked out.
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