A decent score online? Really?

The seas have parted. Hell hath frozen over. The doors of Rio have reopened to Senor Monkey. Okay...two outa three aint bad.

Sunday my plane landed. Waiting for me was my wife...with my two dogs along. As always, they were happy to see me. I see Harrah's now is offereing dog-friendly hotel accomodations for a slight upgrade in price. Nice move. Only problem? ***no pets over 50lbs are eligible*** Dammit! So Mollie can come but not Jasper? Fold!

Got home. Fell asleep. Was woken up by the multitude of people texting me with 'last second emergencies' which were disguised as last second attempts to get money on their 'Stars account in order to play the largest Sunday Million ever...that ended up having nearly 60,000 entries.

I was only too happy to help, except that they have this little rule, where if you have deposited via eCheck in the last 30 days...that money is locked up from transfers until it 'clears' after 30 days. Anything you win OVER the amount you deposited can be transferred, but if you haven't won anything....well, tough luck! That applies to me!

I'm sure glad they woke me up though, or I would have slept through the whole slate of tourneys. In the Sunday Million...on literally the fourth hand I played...this guy shoves all in for nearly my whole stack...and I'm looking at KK. Oh gawd. Not again. Whatever, I call. He had AK. I held...and didn't look back for hours...sitting at or above the average until well into the money.

Yeah...I outlasted 52,000 other poker players. That should feel good, huh? Why doesn't it? Oh...I know why. Because I only won $354. Why? Because...sitting on 54,000 chips...with the blinds at 1500/3000...this guy who had been raising my BB from the button all game...does it once again. I have 99. I shoved all in on him...and after tanking...calls with K7s. Yeah. King Seven of spades.

It wasn't the stupidest play I saw all day....and I saw a LOT of them...but it was pretty surprising, considering we were playing for $1.6m and we both had about the same amount of chips. He didn't hit a 7. Nope, instead, he got the 'ol gutshot jack on the river. Yeah....I was pretty pissed.

The only thing that kept me from totally flipping out at my near online poker huge score...was the fact that I was heads up at the time in one of Pokerstars' many guarantee tourneys...this one a $10 Turbo...with 3149 players. First was $4900, 2nd was $3700.

I'd had a few breaks along the way...so 2nd place money was looking pretty sweet...and when we got heads up he had me 3 to 1.

But I started quickly making up the margin and thought I was about to take a huge lead when...holding K8d...I flopped A-8-K...with him betting into me. We would end up getting it all in...only to see him turn over A8. Ughhhh....gross. Not cool, P'stars trolls, not cool! Regardless...coupled with the Sunday Million cash...booking a $4,000 profit playing online was without a doubt my best day of online poker in a couple years. My luck online has been abysmal. Things returned to 'normal' the following day, as well as Tuesday...as the standard beats started ending my runs.

I think my favorite was when...at 20/40...this putz raises to 80...with K5 offsuit. I re-raise to 240 with AK. Folds to him, he calls. The flop comes K-6-3. He bets out 200. I raise to 600. He calls. Hmmm. Turn is a 4. He checks. I bet 1000. He calls. River...7. MmmmmHmmm....straight. I bust. Nice hand sir.

It is utterly amazing the hands people play online like they are top 5 hands. Which causes you to get caught up in a virtual guessing game. (a) is this guy just bluffing again? Is my top pair and decent kicker good? (b) does this guy actually have a good hand here and I'm about to cost myself my whole tourney? It truly gets to the point sometimes where it IS like roulette...black or red? Bluff or the Goods? Then there are those moments when you have no other choice but to convince yourself that the other person opposing you is using some form of cheat software...that there is simply no way to explain what just happened to you.

I don't think there are any of us who don't go through this. Enter in...'The Cashout Curse!' I am a firm believer of this theory. Cashout...experience cold runs, the likes of which last days, sometimes weeks. So I decided to NOT cashout anything...to see what would happen. Yeah...I've made a couple deep cashes and a final table in the last two days...but still I've gone from $4200 to $3700. At what point do I let that balance dip before I make a withdrawal and tempt the Cashout Curse Goblins to wreak havoc on my online poker playing soul?

Moving on.....

My Mother is becoming a Monkey Blog addict. She emailed me Monday, Tuesday, and again today...badgering me about 'no blog yet!??'

I was a really bad friend to Kai Landry yesterday. He asked me if I wanted to pay $50 to ride on a float...this after procurring around $100-$150 worth of beads and other 'throws' at the local Mardi Gras store...and meeting him at 9am to partake in liver-killing, bead-chuckin, and people-watching.

The good news is that I am almost positive he had a good time regardless. The bad news...is that the 'old me' would have jumped at a good time like that. The truth is...I haven't even unpacked from Chicago yet. My luggage is just laying there next to the bed. I've bathed once. I haven't left the house. I've done nothing but sleep, love on my dogs...watch some TV, play some online poker...and goof around on my iPad, discovering all kinds of things about it I had yet to learn.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I depressed? Am I just tired? Not really sure. I am in the midst of dealing with another 'chapter' in the WSOP/Jack Effel saga...that after conferring with ten of the people who are closest to me, have still not come up with anything resembling a resolution, or solution to the problem. I know a lot of you are curious to know what is going on...but to tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I know what is going on. I am exploring a lot of options, and hoping that common sense and reality end up winning out in the end. I have no desire, nor reason...to talk at length about whats going on in this blog. After all, I've yet to see anything resolved in the past based on what I wrote here. If anything, its done nothing but lead to more problems.

This blog has been the subject of a lot of chatter in the last three years. Some of it good, some of it bad. Some of it controversial, some of it inspiring. If nothing else, writing a blog that is read by a lot of people has taught me about the human spirit, its taught me who my real friends are. It has shown me just how scared some people in power are of losing their grip on their role in society. The lengths to which they will go to sully and disparage people that they would otherwise never have a reason to. I have family members that ask me, aloud...'why write the blog?' They see the upheaval it has caused me, and my poker career.

A year ago...well, January 16th...our home got robbed. Just to show you how ugly and mean-spirited people can be...I had several anonymous comments made on my dashboard here where I was accused of 'staging' the break in, others who said I 'deserved' it. It was a major low point in my life...as well as my wife's. The investigation dragged on for months. Well, when I returned from Chicago...sitting on my office desk is a letter from the District Attorney of Harrison County. Included in the letter is a 'Victim Impact Statement' which I am to fill out and return to the court, for them to use against the two defendants, Melissa Margaret Rivers and Jody Eric Wheeler who have been indicted in case # B2402-2011-39.

I will fill it out, answer all the questions...but I seriously doubt anything will ever come of it. What I lost last year on that day...is about what I am sitting on right now...after 4 lousy months of poker. It's kind of ironic I guess that the letter should arrive now.

What does this have to do with writing a blog? I don't know. Nothing I guess. Some people, friends included...think I give up too much of my personal life on here. That I should just focus on 'poker' and include a few funny 'snippets' here and there...and keep it at. That taking up 'causes' for the 'little guy' should be something that I leave to other people. People who might be a little more 'insulated' than I am. It might not be bad advice. Maybe I will move away from discussing such 'hot button' issues from now on...I mean...shit, I don't know.

Today, a box full of brand new BUSTOUT POKER apparel arrived on my front door step. About 8 t-shirts...a new hat...and a jacket...none of which I had. Pretty kick ass. Actually gave me the desire to put one on and go play a live tournament somewhere. Jeff and his partners are doing a good job with growing the line...but not too fast. We are assembling a pretty good team too. I sat next to Dave Sesso, a fellow Team Bustout Member, in the Main Event in Chicago...nice guy, really solid player.

During the past week, I have been following the last mission of the Space Shuttle Discovery. I mistakenly thought this was the LAST shuttle mission, period. But it was only the last Discovery mission...as there are two more scheduled missions this year...one with Endeavor, and the other with Atlantis. And then...a long history of Shuttle Missions...that pretty much covered the entirety of my youth and adult life...will come to an end. Its kind of depressing.

I watched today as the Discovery touched down for the last time...at Kennedy Space Center. I reflected back on the first launch...in 1981...when I was just 13 years old, and space flight was exciting. Then in 1986...when I was a senior in high school...and sat in the student union with a bunch of my friends and fellow students...and watched the Challenger take off, then explode...killing the entire crew of 7. It was one of those days in our life...like the JFK assassination for our parents, like 9/11 for those after us...where you remember where you were that day, what you were doing, and what your thoughts were at that moment.

It was the same way...but for some reason not quite as much of an impact, when the Columbia disintegrated on re-entry over Texas back in January of 2003. I guess that Challenger somewhat prepared us for the tragedy of losing a shuttle and all of its crew. I have gone on to look at the list of all the shuttle missions, and what exactly their primary achievement was. I think of all the technology we have now that is so dependant upon satellites...and have to assume we owe a lot of that to the sacrafices that our astronauts and NASA have made over the past 35 years. I'm going to be sad when the last shuttle touches down later this year...feeling like a small part of me is dying.

Meanwhile, the entire Middle East is in total upheaval. I, for one...and not meaning to sound stingy or like a total infidel here, am so glad that after selling off my oil stocks (etf: USO) I bought them back when they were down to $29 a share. The craziness in the Middle East has it back up to $42 a share now. I'm not sure what to make of the situation over there. And I will tell you one thing...I see no reason why we are obligated to lift a finger in the Libyan mess. I mean...if we had rebels trying to take over our country...and another country came in trying to assist them, what would that say about THEM? I think we just let them fight it out and see what happens. As for who inherits the reigns if Quadaffi is overthrown? Does anyone really know? Already we have seen the initial leader of Egypt forced out of office after just weeks. Is this a movement where Islamic radicals are going to eventually rule the entire Middle East? If so...I see dark days ahead for Israel, and a likely World War III scenario. Scary.

Hmmm...what else? My yard needs to be mowed again. My taxes need to be done. We have absolutely NO FOOD in the house. Oh...yeah, March Madness is about to start. I sent out my big announcement to all my pool players yesterday. Last year I got 418 entries...by far a record. The eventual winner was Lou Salamone...a poker player from St. Louis...who, I would make fun of except that he always brings me deer jerky!!!

If you are interested in playing in my March Madness Pool...or any other pools and would like to be added to my distribution list...email me at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com

I guess that is about enough for today. Mom? Happy now?

MONKEY