Last Chance for Salvation

Well, I am still on the 0-fer Biloxi I.P. train...at least in 'real' tourneys. If you expect me to count my ridiculous min-cash in the nightly a few nights ago as a 'legit cash' you are out of your mind.

Played the 6-handed the other day...an event I have never cashed in. But I still keep trying. You would think it would be my favorite event....right? Knowing how much I value my 'personal space' and what not. And I do love that part of it. What is kind of annoying is being the big blind about every third hand..and then having hyper aggressive 6-handed experts at your table. Then again...I feel like playing 6-handed events makes me a better player.

So, I arrive late...which means nothing to me. I have determined that these tourneys here...with these players, are just a disaster waiting to happen with the 25-25 and 25-50 levels. I would much rather arrive and start out at 50/100 and avoid all the nonsense. Within 20 minutes of arriving I would call a standard 3x raise with 55 in the small blind...and with a flop of K-10-5 go to work. When the K hit the turn and his bet kept getting bigger and bigger, I figured I was about to double up or get coolered when the river brought a ten...or whatever his kicker was...J, Q, or A. All of that happened, except the river was a 4. And I had a quick courtesy double up.

Things would be up and down for another 5 or 6 hours. Made the dinner break...or I should say, hobbled into the dinner break, with 9500 chips....or 10 BB's in poker-speak. Went back, and caught fire. I had a table full of friends and excellent players. Mitch Merritt on my left...then Kyle Cartwright, Mark Rose and Tim Burt. The other player was three different people in 5 levels. Yeah...the 'hot seat.' I ran my stack up to around 60,000 and with 40 left...and it paying 21 I had allowed myself the pleasure of looking ahead to a possible cash and who knows? Maybe a final table run.

Well, cue the screeching brakes and sound of cars colliding. Again. Now, Mark Rose is a fine player. And a friend. But he is also cold-blooded. And I know he isn't one to take his foot off the gas. He had raised my BB from the button a couple times, and because of my chip stack, I decided to play it cool...once with KJ, the other with A8h. Neither time saw me hitting a flop, and I just folded to what I suspected to be a continuation bet both times. No big deal. Well, him and Kyle hooked up in a monster hand...that would kind of sway the momentum of the table. 

Mark had arrived to our table having just lost a big hand...and after having to fold a hand where he had already build a big pot, sent his cards flying...with one of them leaving the table. He was clearly a bit miffed. So when this hand with Cartwright occurred, it was as if he was just taking a stand. Kyle raised with A9h. Mark looked down, tanked for a bit...then re-raised. Kyle then 4-bet him enough to leave Mark with two choices. Fold or shove. After about 4 minutes Mark shoved. Kyle couldn't fold. Mark had JJ. And it held. He now had a massive stack, Kyle was now short, and would bust soon after that.

Now that Mark had a mountain of chips, he would start getting a lot more aggressive, my thinking told me. So...when he raised utg not long after winning that hand...and for about the third time after winning that pot, I looked down at AKh. Whoa. And now that we were at 700-1400....smooth calling in a 6-handed game didn't occur to me to be the best strategy. Plus, I felt fairly confident that I had the best hand. Now, for those who don't know me...I am not exactly the kind who does a lot of 4 and 5-betting. It's usually limited to 2 or 3 actions of betting for me.

Mark had originally raised to 4000. I then had re-raised to 9200. When it got back around to Mark...he started stacking chips..and counting. Hmmm...what is he doing? Oh great. He is re-raising me again. This time to 18k. I specifically remembered watching him pull this same stunt against Chad Brown at the Final Table at the Beau Rivage last year...and ended up having what I think was 10-4...and making Chad fold. That hand kept running through my mind. That, and my desire to step up and start playing like more of a pro and less of a pussy. So I convinced myself that Mark had decided to play a game of chicken with me. So I re-raised all in.

Rose snap calls! Oh shit. What the..... and I fully expected him to turn over AA or KK...praying for KK so at least my ace would be live. But he turned over QQ...and I will admit, I was kind of surprised. Well, maybe I was surprised because of (a) my disdain for QQ (b) my thinking he would never call ME holding QQ in that spot and (c) that he would simply give me credit for having QQ beat and not be willing to kill more than a third of his stack when he had just gotten those chips. But hey, it is what it is...or was what it was. I failed to hit ANYTHING...and was out, just like that. After having worked so hard to build that stack up from the ashes.

And yeah...I was severely disappointed. I quietly left, found a good area, behind the curtains to decompress...and when I felt like I was ready to face the world again, attempted to go play SNG's...however, SNG-Land was dead...as it has been for most of this event. Dammit. I have only managed to play TWO SNG's this whole event. Unheard of for me. So despite the small buy-ins for this event...my bankroll continues to plummet...since I have no way to build it back up.

So I decided I would go downstairs and play some cash game. Not much to report there, outside of a few standard annoying players. Oh sure, there were the two hands...one that cost me $325 and the other that cost me $200 to the old lady who didn't know the meaning of the word 'BEHIND.' And oh...the guy who called me 'Turbo' for what reason I don't know...then jumped up...rather LEAPED up...out of his seat and spazzed out about something before management asked him to leave. Then there was the nearly-famous Kerri Simmons going ballistic on a couple of guys at the table after she had decided to pay our table a visit in the wee hours of the morning. That was entertaining, as most of Kerri's table antics tend to be. (I know, I know...we all have different interpretations of the word 'entertaining')

Hand #1.  An off duty dealer playing at my table...who in fact, I actually like quite a bit...raises with 10-10. Fair enough. I call with 10-7 of clubs, a hand I really like. The flop was...mmmm I believe something like A-2-7. This part isn't important. He bet. I called. The turn...very important...brought a 7. Ha ha! I decide to check raise. He doesn't bite. Shit sandwich. The river though...now that's where it got delicious....for me? Or for him? Well, I won't hold you in suspense. I got one-fucking-outed. Yeah...a ten on the river. Me<<<< full house. Him<<<>>>>that way. FML. I stood up. I walked to the bathroom. I entered stall. Locked door. Punched wall. Three times. Did not break hand. Victory is mine. Calmed down. Returned to table. Received 'praise' for how 'calm' I was. Huh? Oh...yeah. Thanks.

Hand #2. Old lady raises...as she does with ALL aces in her hand. I call, once again...with a very fun hand that I love....7-9 of diamonds. The flop comes A-9-9. Once again...yummy. She bets. Believe it was 20. I simply min-raise, certain that her tunnel vision will fail to notice the two nines out there, choosing instead to focus on the fact she had hit her ACE! She calls the 40. The turn is a 4. She bets 30. I start now to get serious about the hand...plus don't need her hitting her damn ace on the river...so I raise it now to 90. Hey no problem...she has A3....why would she EVER fold there? She calls. And...just like most of 2011 has been going for me, she rivers a fucking ace. I throw up in my mouth. She overplays her luckbox suckout and goes all in. Yeah...okay lady. I fold face up, the majority of the table moans, rolls their eyes and gives me THAT LOOK. She shows us all her A3. SHOCKER!

Those were the two hands that I hated the most, and all I will bore you with. Today at noon was a $345 turbo. I made the grave mistake of playing that at either Bossier City or Hammond, not sure which place it was...but the structure had me wanting to self torture myself by level four. Yeah...FOUR! So, needless to say, sleeping in today was fantastic. At 5pm, in a couple of hours...is the $235 satellite for tomorrow's $1k..which no matter what I will be playing, as it features the best structure of ANY of this event's tourneys, including the Main Event. There is a very strong possibility that I am going to play the 1k...and if I don't make the final table, take up a buddy of mine who has an extra ticket to the Bama/LSU game and go to the game with him and skip the Main Event. Sorry, but games like this just don't come around very often...and I know a lot of people are skipping the Main for the same reason. And that structure just has me kind of disappointed. I mean, I don't understand why in every 300/500 and 1000 tourney we play, the blinds in level 8 are 150/300 with a 25 ante, but in the Main Event...where you traditionally have the BEST structure of ALL the events...you're at 300/600 with a 50 ante in that same level 8. They might counter with...."but you get 20k in chips!" Dude...the 1k is giving you 15k in chips. And sorry...but the amount of chips you get really doesn't offset that big of a difference in levels. It's not just me saying this either...its been a very LARGE topic of conversation with a ton of the regular players.

I don't want anyone at WSOP thinking I'm bitching about it. I'm not. The rest of the events have magnificent structures, that give the best players the greatest opportunity to make the final tables. Even the SNG's and nightly tourneys have fine structures now. I just...don't comprehend...why they have done what they've done to the Main Event structures at all these circuit events. And when I ask any of the floor guys they all say the same thing. "Ask Jimmy or Jack." Hmmm...well, okay.

Enough about poker. I am happy to announce that the grass has stopped growing here in Biloxi...which means my semi-weekly torture session known as 'yard work' has ended for awhile. Thank you, Mother Nature.

As a world class athlete, my thighs are like those of an NFL running back now. One of the downsides to being so blessed with this athletic body of mine is that my thighs tend to rub together when I walk...which causes a very uncomfortable amount of chaffing. I give you...Ralph Lauren boxer briefs! The answer to this irritating problem! For relatives and friends reading this...for Christmas this year, I am asking for about 20 pair of these wonderful garments. Calvin Klein will also suffice. Do not get stupid though and go with Jockey or another 'cheaper' brand. No no...it must be one or the other. All others will simply be handed back to you! With a sheepish facial expression that hollers 'nice try.'

I would like to share with you...and exchange I had with a stupid guy who plays in my fantasy football league. What it has to do with is PayPal...and the way they charge fees on the exchange of money between two parties. This guy thinks he is right. Well he isn't. He is wrong. And wants to condescendingly suggest to me that I am wrong...which if you know me even a little bit, will understand why I responded in this manner.

'The Idiot' says.....

Sending $5.03 now. The rest of your statement is incorrect. The eligibility of your account has nothing to do with whether my account can send personal payments to you fee free. My error was triggering payment off of a credit card versus my bank acct which is why the fee was generated. And you are the one that told me about that feature 2 years ago.

If I am wrong, may I smell LeSean McCoy's feet for the remainder of the season but you should also have a payment for $5.03 now.

'The Monkey' responds.....

I hope you enjoy the scent of Eagle Foot then. If there is one thing that drives me MORE crazy then a hooded, 20-something, dark shade-wearing, Durr-imitating asshole at my poker table taking 7 minutes to act on his hand every turn and repeatedly asking me "How much are you playing behind?" its someone who emphatically contends that I am telling them something that they insist I have no idea what I am talking about, when in fact, I am 100%, not one shred of doubt....POSITIVE about.

 

Literally being TOLD that I am incorrect, then condescendingly having it broken down and explained to me as though I am an infant who doesn't understand why I can't have dessert first is a good impetus to me taking my laptop and tossing it violently at the wall.

 

Now then, let me explain it for you one more time. A couple years ago...YES..I discovered that by clicking on PERSONAL...when people sent me their payments, they (PayPal) would not deduct a fee on my end. So...being the good Christian that I am, I made sure to let EVERYONE know this, instead of profiting off of them by allowing them to continue sending their payment with that nominal fee, which...over 200-300 people would actually add up to a decent amount...what I did instead, was to let them know HOW to do it, to save the fee. Granted, you still had those morons who couldn't figure it out...who would send it under the first tab...and would hence cause ME to incur the fee. But, whatever.

 

About last year some time...if my memory serves me correctly, I just SUDDENLY noticed that I was all of a sudden getting charged a fee again. When I called PayPal I was informed that because of the amount of money flowing in and out of my account, they had determined that these were not possibly 'PERSONAL' payments...that I was in fact, flouting their system. In a nutshell, they were on to me. Period.

 

What they DID do, however, was lower my percentage on the fee...from I don't know how much, to I don't know how much. Nothing major. But what it also did, was to get their hunting dogs off of my scent when it comes to sniffing out people who are using PayPal for 'unsavory' reasons...which they consider all forms of gambling (pools, fantasy leagues, etc) to be. The amount of income I generate for them through my various sports 'ventures' I am certain is enough to keep them looking the other way.

 

Now then....I'm not going to say anymore on this subject, can't believe you just got THAT much out of me. Yes...I got the $5.03. Thank you.

 

Monkey

And that was my daily dose of 'Are you fucking kidding me!!!!???' that seems to fall on my plate on a daily basis. Do you deal with these people in YOUR lives? Or is it just me?

The day before...it was dealing with this stupid woman on the phone for Wells Fargo. See...some guy who won money in my Super Bowl Squares? He had been sent a check. For $550. He claimed to have not received it. So after a good amount of time...I sent him another one for the same amount.  It was cashed. That was 9 months ago. Well, two days ago...I see a $550 debit from my account online. Huh? WTF? Spend two hours getting to the bottom of it. Then spend 30 minutes letting this woman get me so mad I almost smash the phone. See, because Wachovia became Wells Fargo, she was trying to tell me that 'they must have a policy where customers can cash a check after 90 days, but we don't.' She then informs me that I was 'on my own' in resolving the issue...that Wells Fargo couldn't simply stop payment on that other check. 

It is safe to say that I went ballistic. To the point that I got the stern yelling of 'William!!!!!' from Squirrel who was still way back in the bedroom sleeping. That is about the only time she calls me 'William.'

Well, that dipshit put me on hold...and 15 minutes later, an older women picked up the line, and with a reassuring tone in her voice, had all of my problems solved within seconds. Huh? Really? Just like that? That easy? So...all of this heightening of my blood pressure was completely unnecessary? Wait...somehow I feel....shit, like my life expectancy was reduced thanks to this first raging idiot. Why is it that we must be forced to peel back the layers of customer service before we can finally discover that ONE person who has enough common sense to handle your problem? How does that first line of defense even get a job there in the first place? Or wait? Maybe they are there for that actual purpose!?? To get people flustered enough that they just hang up! And spare that company the hassle of actually having to fix their problem! Is that a possibility do you think? Holy crap...I think it might be!!!

To the people leaving comments about me appearing to have two names...yeah yeah. I know. My drivers license say COREY WILLIAM SOUTHER. So some tourney results say Corey Souther, some say William Souther. I hate it. And spend too much time asking CardPlayer and Poker News and all the others to please merge the two names. It's a pain in the ass. Only my Mom calls me Corey, and people who want to get elbowed in the face.

I still cannot decide whether to go to Vegas for the 3 weeks of Venetian Deepstacks (which really aren't even deepstacks anymore) or go to Borgata for the Fall Poker Open. The first Venetian event drew 780 players...but I'm told by Kevin O'Leary that its only been about 180'ish ever since. That and my 'place to stay' while I was there has been reduced down to 'only til the 14th' so I would have to find a hotel and car. Ugh. If I go to Atlantic City...I get to see a lot of very cool friends, the tourney fields are huge, the play is better, the SNG's go off at a regular clip...and the flight is cheaper. Tough call. The rooms there are pretty expensive...so if I go there, I MUST find a poker roomie...well, or win this damn 1k here tomorrow!

Okay, I'm outa here!

MONKEY