Back to Main Event? Yep. Whacky!

Well...someone isn't ready for me to leave yet. Not sure why the poker gods keep fuckin with me like this, I keep choosing to believe that it's all part of a sinister master plan, designed to make me remember the road I was forced to travel down before realizing glory and riches. 

So that when I finally arrive; down to heads up in a WSOP Main Event...with an 8-1 chiplead I can't possibly lose, and my limp with QQ (my punchout hand in Main Events about 381 times) is met by a shove all in by the guy with K-10 suited...and me calling... and a flop of Q-J-9...making me roll my eyes, and start counting out the guy's chip stack for the payout that will draw us closer in chips...watching as the ace hits the turn, just making it worse..and pushing the double up amount into the center of the table...as the dealer (who we shall, for the fictitious glory of this yarn...call Matt the Messiah) peels off the final queen in the deck...giving me QUADS...and the title, putting my QQ demons down for all time...giving me the championship, the ring, or hell...bracelet, and the multiple bundle of 10k stacks...that I smuggle into a secret compartment in my Monk-Mobile and Squirrel it off (no pun intended, but yeah, PUN INTENDED) to it's secret hiding place.

Than can only be...what I assume, Mr. Big upstairs has been planning for me all these painful years. Last night was a kick in the nuts, literally. It was deflating. It's always so discouraging when it happens in a Main Event. But like I told my wife on the phone as we were driving back to our hotel...I can lay in bed and feel sorry for myself, or I can take out another $250 from the ATM...play that last Mega, hope to play well, and run even better, emerge victorious, and go back to the Main Event, on Day 2, with 20k in chips (20BB's) and about 120 players, and just hope to put together some good hands, a little good luck, and just play well...and hope for the best. 

Well...something went right tonight. I showed up about half way through level 2. First hand, I get QQ. Weird. I raise. Get called twice. Here we go. Flop comes Jack high. I lead out. They both fold. Okay, okay...I like it, I like it.

I never got to a point of desperation...but with a chance to eliminate a player and cripple another...there was a raise utg to 1800 (at 400/800) and I looked at AQ on the button. Hmmm. Re-raise? Flat? I felt pretty good about my ability to outplay these guys after the flop...already having won a hand where this Asian guy had raised early with 10-10, I flatted with 9-9..and when he checked the king-high flop I bet behind him...while he folded his 10's. So...I didn't think flatting with AQ was the worst idea. So I did. Well, OMRG in the SB complicates issues by shoving all in for 2950. Shit. Enough to re-open the betting. Will this first guy re-raise to isolate? Well he didn't. Hmmm. That's kind of weird. Must not be all that strong. Or maybe he is VERY strong and wants me to shove. Shit. Hate these spots. Damn. What do YOU do?

I decide NOT to shove (thank god...) but to just call. The flop comes 8-10-6. He checks. I check. The turn is an ace. He checks. I must be good. I bet 6200. He has 6800. He groans...then folds his pocket 7's. OMRG sees my AQ...and tells me he has 6 outs. Huh? He turns over pocket nines. Oh. Yeah...great. Well...not six, since dude just folded two of the 7's you need. FOUR. Two nines, and two 7's. Hey dealer? How bout putting a.....what!?? NO! What the fuck!!! COME ON!!!  A seven on the river? Mother)(*!@#&(*!@#(*&!(*#

And just like that, my stack takes a monster hit. OMRG triples up...and I was in peril. Well, I would get my revenge on OMRG. With the blinds at 600/1200...I pick up QQ in the SB...it folds around to me. I meant to make it 3500, but picked up two purple (500 chips) instead of two orange (1000 chips) and announced raise. But what I had done was screw myself into min raising. Or had I!?? OMRG calls. The flop comes J-7-8. I bet....he shoves. I call, and he turns over 45. Yeah, another gut shot for the old cuss. Somehow, I fade the wrath of the OMRG....

I go on a heater and take over the chip lead. Then knock out the other OMRG...when he shoves on me after raising with QJ in the SB. I did some math....then grew some balls...and made the call...him showing me EL DIABLO!!!! Oh god...but I decided I wasn't going to fear that beast this time. Nope...I was ready to fade the K10. I flopped a Jack. But he turned an open-ended draw....don't do it, don't do it.......don't.....do.....it. THREE on the river. His wife was lurking over my shoulder and screeched out in horror. He emitted an OMRG ballad of "Whyyyy! Why must I always bubble!!??"  Um....I had nothing.  I had no time for that. I was heads up for the win.

The deal? One winner of a $1600 seat. The other guy getting $1456...so basically, two winners. But on a trip where I have done nothing but watch money leave my wallet, having expended my backer's last contribution with the previous rebuy satellite, I was not the least bit interested in having to enter my PIN # again to come up with the rest of the buy in loot. I was heads up with the Asian dude. He had his whole rooting crew behind him. He proclaimed he didn't care if he won or lost heads up...already feeling like he'd won, and that's fair, but I like winning when heads up, and also didn't feel like (as I said) spending any more money on this damn main event.

We played heads up for about two levels, trading off hands...and me maintaining a 2 to 1 lead on him....waiting for a hand where I could set him up. I finally got that chance...picking up pocket jacks on the button. Pretty much every time I had limped in, which I'd done with excellent drawing hands like 6-7 suited, 9-10, Q-9...he had raised. To which I had flatted, and hoped to catch something I could trap him with. A couple times I flopped air but check-raised him anyway, to which he folded both times. So when I limped with the Jacks...and he raised, I was ready to fuck him up for the kill. I re-raised him all in. He snap called, and turned over AQ. Ugh. Overs. He caught an ace on the flop...and it held. Dammit.

We played a bit longer. Back and forth. Then he won a hand that gave him a slight lead. I pick up QJ. Raise to 6000 at 800/1600. He smooth calls. Which he'd been doing a lot with some pretty not-so-impressive hands. One one hand I raised with 4-4. He called with K9. The flop came 4-9-10. And after checking the flop....I bet the turn (harmless 3) when he shoved all in with middle pair. Of course I called..and that was what gave me a massive lead at the time. So him shoving with middle pair was kind of normal for him.  So with the QJ hand...and him calling, the flop comes 9-10-4. He checks to me, and I shoved all in. Again, he snap calls with middle pair. Well, okay...win this hand, and its all but over. Turn was a jack. Ugh. Two pair for him...but really changing nothing. I still needed a king or an 8...just meant that I could now hit a Q too. None of that happened as a 7 hit the river. I lose. 2nd place. Pony up another $150. Got my voucher and raced over to registration before they closed at 10pm. Going in as an 'alternate' which means show up...get my seat card.

I am not terribly devastated by not 'winning.' Hell...after that gutshot by OMRG (Old Man Run Good...for you newbies to my blog) I figured I was toast...and would be playing in the $350 ring event tomorrow at noon...which I may still play, if things don't go right for me early tomorrow. The re-start time for Day 2 is 11am. But instead...I turned it around, and have to admit, I'm pretty happy with the way I played to get to where I got. And have to just keep hoping/praying/assuming that God is totally fucking with my brain, and wanting to see me suffer, and hurt before he rewards me with 'The Great Victory.'

Kai and I finally hit the barbeque restaurant in the parking lot of our hotel. Don't ask me what its called, because I can't remember. But their food was awesome. They had, no shit...the best cornbread I've ever tasted in my life. The bartender recommended we put butter and HONEY (???) on it. Never tried that before. It was amazing. We couldn't eat everything, so we took to-go boxes for our refrigerator, the bartender giving us more cornbread for the road. Must have been the 25% tip.

I was going to blog when we got back to the room...as Kai himself was doing...but I passed out. Didn't even get around to sending out the email announcing the winners in my 85-entry Master's Pool. Then woke up at 1am...with a burst of sudden energy...and took care of the Master's Pool, which was won by the same guy who won my March Madness Pool. Think that guy is having a great spring? Well...he has taken a bunch of those winnings and invested $500 into my Carley Grace Baby Pool...which still has many openings on it. So kudos to that guy. I got shut out for the second year in a row in the Masters Pool...which I usually do pretty well in. After round 1, I had 5 of my 6 entries all in the Top Ten. Well, a few golfers like Ben Crenshaw (+11) and Stewart Cink (+9) took care of that in the next few rounds.

How about that Masters? I think everyone just kind of assumed Phil Mickelson would show up on Sunday and win another Green Jacket. But things seemed to fade for Phil when he had one horrendous hole, followed by Louis Oosthuizen's amazing double eagle. Then another impressive showing by the SEC! Here comes ex-Georgia Bulldog Bubba Watson...surging late, forcing a playoff, and winning on the second hole of overtime! A boy named Bubba wins the Masters! Isn't that just perfect!???

So after sending out my Master's winners' announcement, I decided to read Kai's blog entry. Holy shit. One of his best posts ever. I was laughing so hard I unfortunately woke him up. Well, if I didn't wake him up with my laughing, I'm sure I would have with my coughing from this chest cold from hell. You HAVE to check out his latest post...CLICK HERE to read his blog post. Yeah...if you are looking for FUNNY...mine isn't really the place to go today, Mr. Landry has the corner on that market. My post here tonight is more a general accounting of my day. I will try to match Kai with a funny post once all this is over. Probably while we are driving home on that 15-hour hellacious drive. [blog editor is telling me I spelled hellacious wrong..but its not offering me an alternative spelling, so it stays as it is]

I must sleep now. If some of you did as I asked in my post...and offered up a round of prayers for me last night...THANK YOU...it seems to have worked almost to perfection. Might I beg for more of the same tomorrow? If I win it all...or hell, even make the final table up here, I will happily reimburse you for your offerings later in some form!!!

MONKEY