An Update Finally...and the 'Art of The Deal'

I have been silent for over a week now. I'm sorry. But honestly, I just haven't had much to write about. Was up in N. Alabama for over a week, and on the last day there played a little game of back yard baseball with the in-laws and their kids. One quick misdirection motion and my back was completely shot. And still, is shot. Keep hoping I will wake up and it will be better. But it isn't.

It's Friday. Just woke up...somehow (after playing cash game at IP last night til 3:30am) and packed up my 4Runner with all my yard equipment and tools. Why? Because today is the day I trek over to Pensacola, to my rental house...where the renters have just moved out. I'm told the scene is bad. To prepare myself. Good news? I have a property manager...and they will contract out most of the cleanup work to get it ready to re-rent...all of which will come out of the previous tenant's deposit. The bad news? I know I'm going to kill myself trying to get the yard back to a semblance of how I gave it to them. And then have to hire a landscaping company over there to visit it about every ten days.

Congratulations to the girls from Alabama...who lost the first of the best of three series to Oklahoma in the Women's College World Series...then stormed back from behind in the final two games to win their first National Title. Pretty exciting. My little sister played softball at the UW, and now coaches a college team in Wisconsin...and is their Athletic Director...so I kind of enjoy softball more than most guys. Alabama has won FOUR National Titles this year...football (of course) and the ladies have won in Softball, Golf and Gymnastics. Pretty impressive year for the Crimson Tide. Love 'em or hate 'em.

 Congratulations ALSO to my Seattle Supersonics...who trailed San Antonio 2 games to 0, before winning the last four in a row to advance to the NBA Finals against, well...probably Miami, after Boston laid in egg AT HOME last night with a chance to advance. Can't see Miami losing a Game 7 at home. Lebron finally decided to show up last night. I loved my Sonics. And Clay Bennett ripped me and a lot of other Sonics' fans hearts out when he stole our team from us and skipped off to OKC. So it will be really hard to root FOR them, but also a part of me wants them to win. So yeah, I'm conflicted.

We had a pretty good radio show this past Sunday. My guests were Claudia Crawford, who filled in for last-minute scratch Eric Lynch, and Jason Young...who like me is sitting out most of the WSOP this year, but he's missing it because he just opened his own bar and restaurant in Suffern, New York. I'm happy for him, he has wanted that for a long time...and it was great to hear him sounding so excited about something NOT related to poker, women, or Jamison. I now have the link to the radio show on this blog page...right up there on the right hand side, you can click it and listen to any of the previous shows.

This Sunday, Scott and I's guests will be Leif Force and Nick Jivlov. Both of these are guys I have known for quite a while...and always enjoy being around and playing with. They (like me) have had their fair share of bad luck and tough breaks. So I was especially happy for them when they both won WSOP bracelets in the first week of the series. Other guys who came damn close were Jacob Bazeley and Ashly Butler. The best thing about rooting for your friends and acquaintances in the WSOP...is even if they don't win, you know they are probably walking away with their biggest score ever.

 So a couple nights ago I decided I was going to go play cash game at the IP. I was there one night this weekend, and after spinning my wheels for about 3 hours, moved to the 1/2 PLO game and turned $500 into $1250 before cashing out. Well, I was going to go unless Carley decided NOT to wake up...as she was sleeping on my chest, which I have just fallen in love with. So instead I took her into the bedroom, laid down, fired up LOCK (for PLO cash game) and Bovada for a couple of tourneys. I would turn my last $37 on LOCK into $125 over a few hours...and in the $15 NL Bounty tourney on Bovada with 147 players, I finished 3rd. In, as always, irritating fashion. Should have won going away...but had what I'm positive had to be an OMRG at my table.

So I went last night. A local poker player was kind of goading me to go play the nightly, which they dropped the buy in price on. This is at the IP. It was $130...with $30 going to the bounty. My first go around with that tourney was a joke. And  now...after calling, was told the buy in was $80. With a bounty of $30. $10 to the house, and $10 to the dealers. Huh? Hold on. $80. And holding $20? That's 25% juice. Yikes. And after $30 for each bounty...the prize pool was going to be...horrendous. But I went anyway. That's when you know you are desperate to play a tourney...ANY tourney. Now you would think with only 10-15 players, they might think about doing re-entries right? Well...they don't. But I'm told by their floor person/shift manager that they are considering that. I think they also should consider making the bounties only $20..and maybe not taking such a huge chunk for the house and staff.

So they got 13 players. I kind of steam rolled the table. I ended up with the most bounties, five. And before the tourney, I decided to do a $20 last longer...which after slowly explaining how it worked to the elderly, got all but 3 players to partake. So...ya ready for this one? First place? Was $195. The last longer? Was $200. We got down to 3...I had the chiplead, and had no doubt I was going to win. CUE: Idiot who can't get out of his own way, but still manages to emerge victorious. They just seem to FIND me, don't they?

I limp B vs B with Q7d. Dodo raises, not much. I call. Flop comes Q-6-3 with two diamonds. I check. He bets 3500. I raise to 10k. He snap shoves. Holding Q9off. I call. I do NOT hit a diamond, or a 7...and his 9 wins. Fuck. Now back to a stack where he has me just barely covered. The other guy is well below mine. Very next hand. I raise on the button with Q10d. He tanks...seems like he is about to ship...then just calls. BB folds. The flop comes Q-8-3. Rainbow. He shoves all in. I call. He turns over KJ. Yep. Oh...he doesn't hit a K. Nope...he goes runner runner 10, Ace...for the straight. Ridiculous. And I was out...3rd, for $78...and my $150 in bounties. Love poker.

Move to the 1/2 game. Get pounded early. Lose with a straight to a bigger straight. Lose with a flush to a bigger flush. Lose with set over set. Then flop a set of Jacks...and get runner runner'ed by a girl with a flush...who freaked out on me when I checked behind her on the river when the 3rd diamond hit. Sorry lady, some of us actually know what we are doing.

But then things turned around. My initial buy in of $400 had dipped down to $85...then I got things going in the right direction and after a few hours was up to $480 and decided to call it a night and leave with a $200 profit...and get some sleep, since today (Friday) was going to be a long day of hard work.

Something happened at the IP last night that kind of put me on 'Life Tilt.' As some of you may know, the iPad has been my savior. Poker has slowly been eroding away at my sanity. And my one vestige of joy comes from the sanctity of my iPad and all that it provides in the way of entertaining myself and keeping me from possibly killing a fellow player and/or myself.  Whether its music...games...or watching TV shows or movies...or just browsing through everyone's Facebook updates...it is my oasis in a sea of OMRG's.

So...half an hour into my cash session...up comes the floor person...who addresses me by the name on my ID and players card (which I can't stand) instead of the name EVERYONE (except my Mother and any arresting officer) knows me by...at least those who have known me for at least a couple months. And this guy has been dealing with me in the poker room for probably 7 years now. Any way....see this sign below?

 Well...notice the date on it? June 7th? Yeah...it was Day 1 of them not allowing any 'electronic devices' in the poker room any more. So after fighting that battle with the Venetian about three years ago...and finally winning...and having every other casino allow them...the I.P. decides to take a step back in the evolutionary development of the technology and communication age, and ban the one thing that keeps us sane, and in contact with the rest of the world! I had just got done losing those back to back hands to finish third in that stupid tourney...then sat down and got clocked on two big cash hands in a row when he laid this on me. Understandably, I was undeniably irritated. I posted about it on my Facebook...which drew over 30 responses. I also texted the poker room manager asking for an explanation. Have not heard back from him.

But it was explained to me, later, by another floor person...that they have had a lot of complaints from other players about the use of 'electronic devices' at the table. Excuse me if I may. You know who those whiners are? I do! Because I've heard them before. Just so that I may be clear, however...if I have EVER slowed down the game because of my iPad or cell phone...I would understand the bitching. But I haven't...so its hard for me to jump on the bandwagon of people who want to hammer that down my throat. Look...there are people who drive like fucking slugs on the highway...most of them in the fast lane. Do we ban cars from the highway? Do we take away their drivers license? No, the assholes who whine are generally older...or just miserable pricks who either are jealous because they WISH they had an Ipad...or they don't even understand what an iPad is. I've had old fuckers ask the dealer...in a way they were obviously trying to be heard but playing like they were asking discreetly "are people allowed to have LAPTOPS at the table?"

 Laptops? Yeah! The iPad is now a laptop apparently. The floor guy says to me..."I think they are concerned about the possibility of two way conversations with players using iPads." Huh? Seriously? I just really heard that, correct? So...let's review. I would much rather strike up an INSTANT MESSAGE conversation with someone on my iPad...which is really big...and which either player on your right or left could easily SEE...instead of opting for my phone...which is really small and discreet? Ohhhhh, right. That makes perfect sense. Uh huh! This...is just another problem I have with being a human being on this planet. The fact that the level of common sense in most people is either non-existent or bordering on zilch. It drives.....me....fucking....crazy!!!!

After I cashed out...I gave my ticket to the valet guy....and since it was the IP, I knew I would have about 20 minutes to kill before my car arrived. Why did I park in what I deem to be the worst valet lot of any casino in America? Because it was raining when I arrived. And I was in a hurry. So I decide to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom...this young punk...probably about 24-27...and very tall...with long curly blonde hair like William Reynolds (pretty well known poker pro) and who is obviously drunk...decides to engage me in a very smart ass-like way. What he wasn't counting on, was that I was going to shock him by standing up to him, and coming back with something much more intelligent and 'tricky' than he'd ever thought to expect from some random bathroom guy.

"Hey buddy...I'm just curious, where in the casino do you find it necessary to have those big headphones on?"

[during this exchange there were two younger guys and two older guys present]

"Well, first of all...smart ass, I can identify the sarcasm in your tone...and I know you think you are making a solid effort at clowning me...for your own enjoyment. To answer your question...some of us like to wear these on our ears while playing poker, to hide from the inane banter that often times comes out of the mouth of drunken, annoying players such as, well...a guy like you. I hope that answers your question. Anything else you'd like to ask me?"

He had nothing further...and upon my exit from the bathroom, had all four people in there either smiling or laughing. Score one for the older, wiser guy.

 I've got a loyal reader in Houston who always keeps me updated on what he's up to. Well, he took his new motorbike out, crashed...and broke his hip. He sent me a message this morning telling me he is laid up in bed clamoring for a new blog post. So this is dedicated to you sir! Get better quick!

Just heard that 'I'll Have Another' is OUT of the Belmont Stakes...and out of the running for horse racing's Triple Crown. Damn...that sucks. Well...38 years now and counting. I was a kid...and remember well, when Seattle Slew and Affirmed went back-to-back Triple Crowns. Would have never thought I would live more than half my life before it happened again.

Have you all discovered the APP called Soundhound? Its pretty damn awesome. It's also free. What it is does...is it 'hears' the song you are listening to...and provides you with scrolling lyrics to the song...as well as the option to purchase that song on iTunes. Pretty ingenious. 

Michael Wade from the Beau Rivage...who I have known for years...read about my desire to find work in the field of disaster relief. He grew up with a guy who works for MEMA and gave him a call. He didn't have anything, but knew a guy down in Biloxi who was looking for a Manager of Disaster Services for the Red Cross Chapter down here. He recommended me for the job...and we have swapped emails. But I'm still waiting to hear back from him. It would be a wonderful opportunity, and I'm hoping something comes of it. 

Carley is 6.5 weeks old now and growing like crazy. She is smiling all the time now...and really starting to fill out. Everyone was right...I love her more than anything I ever thought I could love. Her eyes are still blue...but I know they can still change. Squirrel has brown eyes..I have blue eyes...will they stay? Or will they go now?

I launched my WSOP Shares package...with an email to all 1800 people on my pool distribution list, as well as about 150 individual emails to poker friends on Facebook. I am selling a total of 32 shares. Each share is equal to 2% of my total action. So with 64% the target to sell, I will play for 36% of myself when I head out to Vegas on the 4th of July. In the first day of selling my shares...I sold an astounding 17 shares. I can't lie...I was a bit nervous...and didn't know what to expect. But I am kind of humbled a bit to see how much confidence a lot of people have in me, and my ability. At the same time...I think I have a really good shot at making some people some money. 

The feedback I got was almost all positive, but alas, the hardcore poker players with a lot of experience and background in backing came chiming in...and of course, they had some very opinionated views of my 'package price.'  One claiming he wouldn't pay that price if he could get an 'Ivey/Chip Reese Clone' at that price. Clearly, that is bullshit. Can you imagine!?? A couple were kind enough to point out that I was selling my shares at a 68% markup. Blah blah blah...I know I know...the most people usually pay is 1.3 to 1. Yada yada yada. 

The bottom line? I'm selling 32 shares...at $475 a share. Each share is worth 2% of my total action. What am I promising to play?  The final WSOP $1k event...which surely will have a gigantic field...I'm guessing close to 5500-6000. Which should generate a first-place payout of close to $1m. (if they are paying on a 14% scale as I'm told). Then...I am playing TWO of the 1k Mega satellites into the Main Event. Oh...I am playing the Main Event no matter what...in fact, the minute my plane lands, I'm heading first, to RIO to buy my Main Event seat...photographing my entry ticket...and sending it out to ALL my investors...then second, I'm heading to Frank Kassela's house for his 4th of July party.

I'm playing the two mega satellites primarily as a way to win back some money for the investors...and as someone who pretty much destroys Mega's...I figured it was a great idea to try and deposit $20,000 back into the INVESTOR FUND before we ever play the Main Event! The fourth event, of course...is the Main Event. The fifth event...if I have the time, which I should...is one of the two remaining $600 Venetian Deepstack Events. And the 6th event...will be one of the nightly's or Second Chance tourneys at either Rio or Venetian. This adds up to...yes...about $13,850. But my shares sold will (if sold out) add up to $15,200. What gives Monkey? Some have asked? Then they want to do all their fancy math and tell me I'm overcharging people.

Yeah yeah. First of all...there is this thing called a SURPLUS. I am not using people's share money to finance my travel and/or hotel. I simply have a running ledger...the INVESTOR FUND...and if I sell all the shares, we will be operating about $1350 in the black. Say I win one mega and lose one mega. We will be at $11,350. If I fail to play a tourney...say, the $600...it gets added back into that fund.....balance goes to $12,000. I haven't even discussed yet cashing in the 1k or the Main. But say I bonked out of both of those. Each investor would STILL get $240 back. If I merely 'cash' in the Main Event...which I have come OH SO close to doing all three times I've played it...losing in Day 3 every time...just out of the money, based on last year's $23,000 payout to cash, every investor would be getting the amount of their investment back...on top of the $240. With first place likely to be around $10m in the Main again this year...and every final tableist making close to at least a million each...the upside is how I can justify the slightly inflated share cost. 

Now, obviously there are some players who are just naturally pessimistic and stubborn. That's fine. I'm not going to change their way of thinking, or criticize them for having their views and/or opinions. But I'm also not going to feel sorry for them when they bitching about wishing they had taken a piece of me when I had pieces to sell...after I cash something huge this summer. I have the utmost confidence in myself...and know I can win anything I sit down to play. And more than anything, I do exceptionally well in Main Events...due to the long, drawn out structure. It plays right into my style of play. I've always said that if had a big backer that was putting me in about 10-15 5k/10k Main Events a year...that I would have been a millionaire by now. With four Main Event final tables to my credit (circuit events mostly) I don't think anyone who really KNOWS me and my game can deny my chances at cashing deep in the Main Event.

So it's June 7th...and I have sold 17 of my 32 shares. I feel pretty good about getting the final 15 sold. I have two or three guys I expect will buy in that I haven't even talked to yet...so I could very be at around 25 by this weekend. And selling those final 7 shares should be a piece of cake. I'm really excited for this trip. I'm getting everything else in my life all squared away, spending valuable time with my daughter...and getting my rental house in Pensacola all fixed up and re-rented...then spending ten days or so in Vegas...and hopefully putting all the 'run-bad' of 2012 in the rear-view mirror. 

Okay...there is your update! I have to get in my car and get my ass to Pensacola!!!

Monkey