Welcome to Shreveport....

Ahem...okay, Bossier City.

Was welcomed by the unofficial Mayor of Bossier City, Al Theriac...a very nice gentleman...who is married to Delores. I've played with Al for a lot of years now, he is even on my Facebook and I'm pretty sure he reads this blog. He is very proud to have landed this event here in the city on the shores of the Red River, on the border of Texas and Louisiana.

It was a relatively easy drive. I left at 1:30am...after having killed myself doing yard work til dark...then taking a long hot bath, a short nap, and leaving at 1:30am. I arrived around 7am. The hotel staff at Days Inn here was nice enough to let me check in early. So I unloaded, then headed over to Horseshoe.

The property itself is really nice. Beautiful marble floors, big fountain out front. Staff all seemed to be very friendly and accommodating. First thing I did was go check out 'the tent' that everyone is talking about. It's kind of hard to access. There is one elevator, which is really slow...or the stairs. Which...if you are old and decrepit, is a pain in the ass. The main poker room is on the bottom floor of the 'boat' while the poker tourney area is on the top floor, or 4th floor.

The tent that everyone is so eager to talk about...is very nice. Huge. With 9 separate A/C vents feeding into it...still, its a challenge to keep it at a comfortable temperature. There are four rows of tables...and the two rows nearest the outer walls are easily the coolest. When talking to the tourney supervisors yesterday, they suggested maybe altering their breaking order so that the middle tables break first. That would be a pretty damn good idea, and a nice effort on their part to make the players comfortable.

The turnout was pretty solid...with around 420 players in the first event. They are able to seat 600 players before having to go to alternates...and the way these people play here...I don't think alternates are going to have to worry about waiting a long time before having a seat to sit down in.

The floor all did a great job on Day 1...which can traditionally (especially in a first-time venue) be a major challenge. There are of course a few tweaks that need to be made...but they are on top of them and aware of what they are. One thing that everyone was buzzing about yesterday...including Jimmy Sommerfeld himself, is the absence of ANY TV's in the tourney area. Plenty of TV monitors, but those are for the tourney clocks. We are in College Football country....and there are NO TV's to watch the games on Saturday? Yikes! I am looking for them to do something about that today...they do seem awfully hell bent on providing everyone with a good experience...so we'll see what happens.

The only other thing I would have liked see improve is SNG-Land. They were running it as a 'List First' operation. What I mean by that....is instead of just having three dealers sitting with stacks of ten in front of them...and seat cards scattered and waiting on players....they have no dealers posted at tables. Which to players who are PICTURE DRIVEN DRONES....means there are NO SNGs. Make sense? We are programmed little robots...and when we see the dealer sitting there with stacks...what do we do?

"Hey is this a SNG? How much? Okay I'll play!" And they grab a seat card. Right? But to have the guy at the front podium with a list waiting for ten names before he seats a dealer? That just doesn't work very well...and so you are waiting 3 times as long to get into a SNG...which, once you bust out of a tourney...is ALL you want to do!!!!

They have assembled a fine group of dealers...which is always a major PLUS! Oh...and I have to let everyone know (he is thirsty for some good Monkey P.R.!) that Jimmy let us take a break on the 'Longest SNG of 2011, maybe ALL time' for 5 minutes so we could all take a bathroom trip....which on this boat means a trip to the 3rd floor. So...thanks Jimmy. It was either that or I was going to have a major emergency!!  And at that point....4-handed our blinds had increased to 800-1600! When we ended, we were at 1000-2000. YEah, in a Sit N Go!!!  At 10-handed...we were at 300-600. Ya! No shit....300-600 and we hadn't lost a player! I ended up chopping that SNG with Matt Colvin...who I had 4 to 1 and offered a $300 save for 2nd...then his Q10 doubled up on my K9...and we were even. Chop time. Boo!

Here is something pretty funny. And I am told that this will be the Standard buy in structure for ALL the SNG's this season at every venue. Hell, I hope so!!!!

All the SNG's that are $45, $65, and $120....you start with 1000 chips, with 15 min levels. Ya ready? Hold on.....this is good.

The SNG's that are $180? Oh...and guess what? That's as high as they go. No $235, no $550. Kind of weird...but hey, whatever. I'm just fine with that.  But in the $180? You start with....no this is NOT a typo!  $5000 starting chips!!!!!! With 15 minute levels!  No brainer right? Like, who is going to play a $120? The stupidest player on Earth maybe? I would put the over/under on $180's I play in the next 6 months at about 289.

So quick recap, because its getting close to noon.  In the nooner...I started out great. Then I ran into zit-face boy...who likes to raise in late position a lot behind limpers...and with garbage. Four limpers and I limp with AQs...expecting him to do it again. He does. Two callers, everyone else folds. I limped for 50, he raised to 200. I re-raised to 550. He calls, no problem. Other guy folds. Flop comes Q-10-7 with two spades. Nice. I check to him. He bets 650. I raise to 2100. He calls. I turn a spade. I bet 1500. He goes all in. Um...anyone folding there? Not me! I call. He turns over 10-7 off. Rivers a ...what else? 7! Boat. Jeezuz. Down to 1300 early.

I magically grow that to 3500...before getting clipped back down to 1200. Starting to lose hope. Then double up...with an over pair against flush chasing, inside straight drawing old guy...who somehow misses 12 outs...and I had 5000 at 100/200. Then 2011 remembers it hates me. I get KK on the button. 5 limpers. I make it 750. I get three callers. Including this old guy with 88.

Flop comes Q-7-8 rainbow. He checks. I bet 850. He sits there...and then just shoves all in for 15,000+! Huh!?? Guys? Help me here. Does this feel like a set to you? Shove all in? Rainbow board? No straight draw? Or does it feel like KQ and he is trying to muscle me into a fold thinking I was just C-betting AK? I mean...all old guys seem to want to put us on AK..... "Well, I put you on AK!" Ughhh if I had a nickel for everytime I've heard THAT ONE! I just could NOT give him credit for a set....and besides, my stack was now down to 3500 and there was at least that or more in the pot. I called. Yep. Set of 8's. And I was out.

Went and won my SNG....which took about 3 hours....then got into the 5pm $245. Same shit, different old guy. Sat and watched this guy raise 7x, 8x, 9x....over bet the flop....great. Not one of these. I got up about 3k early...so when I limped for 200 with 89h...and he makes it 900 on the button...I'm like..."shit! Okay...Im taking a shot at this old peckerwood."  Flop comes J-10-6...with two hearts. Can you say "Never, ever folding here?" In fact...I was so certain I was making this hand...I didn't bother leading out...knowing he would probably bet something.

Something? Oh he bet SOMETHING all right! He shipped it. For a lot! Well played sir. I called. Know what he was raising to 900 with? J-10 offsuit. Yeah. He flopped two pair. Let me introduce you to a new one...new to most of you. And yes I will give credit where credit is due. Wonky, there you go. It is called.... OMRG. Get used to hearing this. OLD MAN RUN GOOD. Then of course you have RRG....Retard Run Good. There are a few more. We will save those for later. I'm short on time. Obviously his two pair held....and I was busto.

Just in time for the 7pm $120...which is NOT a re-entry...much to my chagrine. Sit down, quickly chip up. Discover that the older guy in the 4 seat with the beady eyes and yellow shirt likes to play almost every hand. Likes to float flops holding nothing but an ace, but is totally convinced it is coming on the turn...even AFTER calling a pot sized bet on the flop after Monkey flops top pair. Oh...and he would hit his ace on the turn...then play it like a moron...giving away his hand by leading out on the turn way too much...not noticing that my cards had already hit the muck as soon as I saw his eyes light up when he saw the ace. He puts his bet out then looks mystified that the dealer is already pushing him the pot. I love donkeys.

I would end up losing to another old guy...this one scratching his head....rubbing his chin...taking his glasses off, then back on....more head scratching. I knew how these clowns played...so I made a conscious choice to NOT try to control the pot...but to hammer them into submission with an all in to take down a hefty pot. But this guy just couldn't decide what to do with his flush draw that was worse than mine and his gut shot straight draw. So finally when he called, and turned over his hand...I felt pretty damn good. He was drawing to two cards. Guess what? He hit it. I took a deep sigh...walked out on the veranda of the boat...looked out over the Red River...contemplated about taking a jump into it to see if I would live or die....then decided it was time to call it a day.

Just got about 8-9 hours of sleep, had my bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios (low in cholesterol!) entered all the NCAA Survivor Picks (deadline today at midnight) got my backer's updated spreadsheet to her (trying to be a good little employee) and almost found time to go swim a few laps...but this first level or two is just way to vital to miss out on. Today is Day 1b of a tourney that features two starting days. Sitting at this table after busting yesterday...and listening to these five complete morons trying to figure out the concept...was at first funny, then just became maddening. How anyone could be so flippin stupid was beyond my comprehension. I can't even begin to repeat the conversation. But if you were there with me...we would be repeating that story for years. Yeah...it was THAT ridiculous.

Okay...here we go. DAY TWO. Lets hope this goes a bit better than Day One!

MONKEY