THE POKER MONKEY...Morphing from 'crazed lunatic' to O.M.R.G!!! (some of you!): Ohhhhhh The Pain!!!!!

I know!

It's Sunday...I arrived here on Tuesday. And I have not blogged once. I have tried, quite diligently, to keep you all updated, especially my 'backers' through my Facebook and Twitter updates. The major reason I haven't blogged since I've been here though is:

(a) Rio...and pretty sure all Caesar's properties in general...are among the last hotels on the planet Earth who still charge you for in-room internet service. And at $13 a day...its just kind of hard to get motivated to get online. And when you DO buy the service...said service sucks.

(b) Sleep...and the lack thereof, have hindered my abilities to sit down...and devote a couple hours to posting a blog, as well as update the spreadsheet for my backers.

So...my journey out here was rather eventful. I was trying to get to Rio in time to make the 2pm Deepstack...a $235 buy in (of which $40 goes to the house) that has been attracting between 1200-1700 players every day...creating ridiculously lucrative prize pools...but also ending in a chop deal nearly every day...due in large part to the structure falling off a cliff about half way through.

I had a very nice guy sitting next to me on the flight out. He was a poker player, but also was in the business of designing prosthetic limbs for soldiers. I had just watched the movie 'Dolphin Tale' and as it turns out...he knew the guy who was played by Morgan Freeman's character in the movie. Says it was rather hilarious that they decided to cast Morgan in that role...since the real guy was a short, fat Irish guy. Stark contrast there!

So...the plane lands early...everything is looking great...and while in baggage claim...the thing stops going around and around...after I'd gotten only ONE of my bags. Oh shit! I see a bag that looks like mine. It's not. Wait...it has this other guy's name on it. Oh boy. I think this other guy must have grabbed mine on accident. I share all this with the lady in the Delta lost baggage office. Long story short...this IS what happened, and guess who the guy was? I found out after bumping into him in the registration line at Rio. Yep! The guy I sat next to!

Here's where it gets annoying. A full day elapsed before I heard from Delta. In fact, I didn't; I had to call them. They tell me my bag was left in Gulfport...and that it was coming in on the next day's 2:30pm flight...and would be brought to me at the Rio. That story was a total lie. Oh...they brought my bag alright...and it was missing a damn wheel...brand new luggage...every try to pull your luggage when it's missing a wheel? Fun times.

Turns out this guy had sent me a message on Twitter telling me he had my bag...but I never check those messages. He had gone straight from the airport to play poker...and was up ALL night playing. That is kind of one of the scenarios I imagined that might have occurred. So...you get the picture. I got my bag back on my second day here. And Delta? I have no IDEA what they are smoking.

Then I lose my phone. Yeah, a couple of us decided to go get 'In N Out' on my first night here...and dipshit here lost his phone in the cab. Only thing is, it took me a few hours to realize it was missing. So I used my 'Find My Phone' utility on my iPad and located Mr iPhone...it was sitting in SW Vegas not moving. Had to be the cabbie's house. So I sent the phone a message, along with a very loud beep. The guy got my message...and promptly brought my phone to Rio...where I rewarded him with $50 and a huge sigh of relief!

The next day was the Fourth of July. I decided to play that 2pm tourney...even though Frank Kassela was having his big 4th of July party. I just really was motivated to make a big score with one of the many chances being offered to me. I started out great...as I have in so many of these damn tourneys this week. And then got drilled with train-wreck endings. I busted around 6pm and went with Barth...his girlfriend Meghan and Eddie (sorry, last name unknown...but he is a big LSU fan...and I was forced to share a room with him!)

to eat sushi at a place called 'KOI' at Planet Hollywood. It was phenomenal. They went to go see Ka! after that at MGM...and I decided to wait for them while playing cash game at Planet Hollywood. That went well...bought in for $300...and cashed out with $700 in a little under two hours. Plans changed a bit. 'The Claw' got a hold of me and was dying to go out and do something...as she has been here for 6 weeks and was bored and lonely. Squirrel was pressuring me to take her out...not that I ever have to be 'forced' to go hang out with Claudia...she is always a good time.

So Claw came and picked me up at P.H. and we drove out to Frank's party...which he told me was dying down...and that I might not want to come. Ahhhh...it's always good to see Frank and his wife Piper, so we went anyway. But when we arrived, I was shocked to see that there were still a lot of people there. And in typical fashion he had it set up to the nines. On each side of his entryway he had it set up with ropes and red carpet...so it was like you were walking into a movie premier. Outside he had beer pong tables set up...with BLEACHERS on both sides of them. When you entered the house there were gigantic trophies, two that had big cups on them and were filled with ping pong balls. The eventual beer pong champions were the team of Jeff Madsen and Alex Outred.

It was kind of a who's who of the poker world. Gavin Smith, Brandon Cantu, Joe Seebok, Shaun Deeb, Rick Fuller, Karina Jett...those were just some of the players who were there. Gavin, Brandon, Rick and Seebok were all engaged in a pretty intense game of Chinese poker...a game I have never decided to learn.

Well...it ended up being a really good time. I think Claudia had a good time as well. Frank is always a great host...and it was nice to see him and his wife again. Piper is one of my favorite wives...and always has hilarious stories to share.

The party ended, and Claudia decided she 'needed' to go to the Rhino for a bit. So...of course, we did. It was typical Rhino...and she found a couple guys she knew real well...who had a table, with bottle service. So luckily we didn't pay any money for drinks. We hung out there for awhile then called it a night. I got back to Rio with just enough time to catch some sleep before the $1k the next day.

The bad thing about letting a week go by without blogging, especially when I'm in Las Vegas...is that there is SO much happening ALL the time...that I just end up forgetting a lot of it. And of course I don't want to go TOO long...because that is just bad writing. But damn...

I have a major dilemma to deal with right now. I have now gone oh for two in $1k megas. Yesterday was a big of a heart-breaker as they come. I was cruising late...with only about 90 to go before I had a seat. But the structure was also blowing up. I had about 45k with the blinds at 1000/2000...and this crazy old European guy who had the weirdest style...raises in early position to 5000. Now he had been raising early with hands like 44, Q10 and A7...so he could have a LOT of hands. I look at 99...and wonder how to play it. He generally called ANYONE that re-raised him. And since we had about the same stack, I'm not sure re-raising him there would be such a great idea.

So I just called...and elected to see a flop. The BB also called, claiming he 'defends' his blind. Fair enough. The flop comes out J-9-8. Whoa! Nice. They both check. I bet 12k into the 18k pot. First guy folds. Next guy sits there thinking...which he did a lot. Tank that is. On nearly every hand. Suddenly he just blurts out that he's all in. I called...he turned over KK. Wow...sure did NOT put him on kings. Then the spear in the chest...as the dealer put a 10 on the turn followed by a queen on the river. I threw up on the table. After the floor was called, and a janitor cleaned my vomit off the table (yes...I am kidding about this part) I collected my remaining 800 chips and tried to make my head stop spinning. I was all in on the next hand with A9c. I got four-way action...and end up making a flush for the win. Whoa...up to 6k. Just like that. Can I somehow pull out the miracle comeback from the dead?

Sorry...this story does NOT have a happy ending. On the very next hand...I look down at, what to me is almost as good as AA....my favorite hand, K9...of diamonds. For those of you who don't know...when I see K9 with less than 8 BB's...its like looking at aces. Over a 7-year period of moving all in with K9 and getting called...I am 38 for 44. An astonishing record. So of course I quickly move all in. Oh! I get protection from the button. Why? Because...of course, he has ACES! But hold on...this is K9! I am not feeling as helpless as I normally would in that spot.

I am now 38 for 45. The first card I see in the window is an ace...followed...by another ace. Yeah...you got it, he flopped fucking QUADS! Guess who else flopped quads? The guy in the 6pm nightly...when I had AQ...and he had KK.....that guy flopped quad kings. Yesterday was brutal. After losing in the Mega...I played that 6pm....got put out just after 10pm, and meandered my way to the 10pm tourney. I would get crushed twice...then rebuy, before finally making it into the money of that tourney...where I had to settle for a weak-ass min cash of only $245...all that while being invested in the thing for $405. I really thought for a minute that I was going to win that thing...and the $4800 to basically get me to even for the week. But...it didn't happen.

The night before....me, Allie Prescott and Barth all decided to play a $525 SNG. I have not found many opportunities to play SNG's here this week. But the other day I did because the timing was right. So...I play a $525 by myself first. That was the day I spent 170 minutes standing in lines. These lines at the Rio to register for events is absolutely insane. And it's been this way now for like 5 years. I don't get it. All the money they are making off us and they can't make that process more expedient? All the players are grumbling about it. For people like me with bad knees and back...its really a draining experience having to just stand there....ughhhhh. I was about to lose my effing mind.

Well, yeah, so I get into this $525 SNG after waiting in line for an hour and a half. And we have 'that guy' at our table. The one who wants to raise EVERY hand. He has on his stupid aviator glasses, and he is wearing this tacky-ass WSOP bracelet...that looks like its from over 10 years ago. Steve Karp is sitting to the left of him, and we are both eyeballing it with that facial expression of 'what the fuck is that thing?' Well...this idiot, I'm almost positive, was at the my table at Venetian once in the past few years...and was wearing that same piece of junk. And several of us were questioning it then, too. He told them the same thing that he told Karp...that it was from a shootout event.

Steve and I are pretty sure he's full of shit...or that YEAH...it might be from that event, but it wasn't won by HIM. We think he bought one of TJ Cloutier's bracelets off of eBay. So anyway...this asshole is trying to run over the table. I decide to limp in for 25 with 88...figuring him to raise. He does. To 100. And gets 7 callers. Wow. Iso-shove? Or just see a flop, assume he will lead out...and then decide what to do. Well...the flop comes J-3-6. Rainbow. I like my hand. I check. He bets 350. The others all fold. I call. The turn card is a 4. I still like my hand. I decide I'm going to check-raise all in. So I check.

But he screws up my plan when he shoves all in. It seems like a total desperation heave. What reason would he have to be shoving right there? There are no draws out there to protect against. I just can't be made to believe that he actually has anything. And after thinking out all the scenarios...and watching his body language, I decide that he is full of shit. And I call. He flips over 5-8. YES! Good read, good call...lets cripple him now, take the chiplead...and hopefully win this SNG and pick up $5k...plus the $800 in the last longer.

Nope. Fuck all that. The dealer gives him a 7 on the river...to make his gutshot draw. Holy shit. Are you kidding me? A few of the other players just closed their eyes and shook their heads...crediting me with making a great call. I just stood up...and lifelessly left the building. Karp texted me a while later that he did the SAME exact thing to another guy. How do these assholes run so good? It's not fair.

So back to me and Barth and Allie. We all decide, along with Dave Fox, to go play a $525 SNG together. The three of us decide and agree that if one of us wins the other two will get their buy-ins back. Things were looking pretty good for awhile. I was on fire and couldn't miss a damn thing.

I ended up knocking out Barth...and it got down to me, Allie and this creepy little worm who I'd never seen before. I was really hoping Allie and I would get heads up...split the $5000, and the $700 in the last longer...and play it out for bragging rights. But then Allie took two punches in a row from SuperCreep....losing two flips when he was again of the ShoveTard...and it was me and the other guy...with him sporting a 3-1 chip advantage. He must have feared losing his lead...because he offered a deal I really would have been stupid to turn down. $3000 and the last longer money to him and $2000 to me. Done. Gave them their $500 each...and walked away with $1000...or a $400 profit. Yippee. But it was nice to run good, play well, and NOT lose. And to get my buddies their buy in back. Just would have been a lot nicer if we had beaten that twerp. Whatever.

So now it is 1:45. The $1k Mega started 45 minutes ago. The radio show has also already started. Scotty is wanting me to call in at 2:20 my time...and give my 'Report on Vegas' which will undoubtedly be painful! I mean...I have simply run like shit...and my bankroll is now hovering around $7500...it was $15,200 when I arrived. And I HAVE to play the Main Event...either way. It's in the deal that I sold. So do I risk another nightmare in the $1k Mega? But try to get back in the black...and save that additional 9k on the buy in? Or do I just say 'fuck it' and take the day off...get some rest, maybe some sun...and pony up the other $2500 and play tomorrow? It's kind of a tough call. But I think I probably need to head down there and try for a third time.

I really needed to get some news to my 30 backers...and hopefully this blog entry, along with all the Twitter and Facebook posts has helped a little bit. I am trying NOT to be discouraged...as I really had a good feeling about this trip...and really NEED to have a good trip. But damn, my luck in important spots just seems to continue being bad...and it really does kind of leave me feeling deflated at times. I'm trying to stay positive, to be fun at the table...not skulk around the place. And just hope I catch that little hot streak at the right time...as in, tomorrow! In the Main Event.

I am missing my baby Carley Grace SOOOOO much...and Squirrel just keeps sending me one incredibly cute picture after another. I want SO bad to do well for her and Cheryl. And then go home relaxed and ready to just enjoy the two of them.