"I'll Take My Ball and Go Home!!!"

Who remembers that kid growing up? That little asshole who, when he didn't get his way would end up killing the game by quitting, and/or taking the ball and leaving? Well, since my run in the Main Event...I seem to have added a lot of new readers...so some of you 'inexperienced' Monkey Bloggers might not know about the story at the Pensacola Greyhound Track a couple months ago. To give you a little 'back' history before I tell you about this chump...I suggest you click HERE to brush up on the story first!

Remember my last post? About the Dog Track? The one where I was giving them more free 'pub?' Well...you can make an argument for me giving them...once again, the spotlight. I know...its kind of ridiculous...especially in this month where on only the 23rd I already have more hits than any month since last July. They really should be paying me. But I digress!

When we last left off, I was challenging the folks in management to follow up on the promise to evict me if I set foot in their joint. Well...the continuing saga of Doggie Poker-Gate continues...or, as they say...'zeeee plot thickens!' This is a story about a guy named John. Click that link up there...and you can see his picture...if you don't care to invest the time to read the history of this bozo. 

Let me attempt to summarize. I got a call from one of my 'confidential sources' (I know! Very official and/or spyish-sounding, huh!??) in the Pensacola area who was able to clarify these rumors for me quite a bit. Turns out...it really didn't have much to do with me chirping about rake, or dealers (albeit just one of them...Mr. Iron Fist) or bad players or abused dogs chasing a white towel around a track (thinking its a rabbit) for the glory of a skoobie snack and some guy name Tommy Ray Roberts (down South we got us a lot of folks with names that consist of 3 first names) holding a winning $3 ticket.

Nope, from what I can gather...they actually appreciate my occasional appearances over there. They know I treat the staff well...leaving far better tips than most, and showing courtesy to nearly all the staff. And merely writing about them...and what they offer, is easy for them to appreciate...especially when thousands of people see and read it every month...and they don't have to invest a nickel. So...from that end of things...I'm glad we both see eye-to-eye. 

Here is where the trouble lies. And hey! Isn't this ironic! If you follow my history, you will recall that in January of 2011, I was exiled from the Beau Rivage because ONE guy...a big shot diamond (or whatever their top tier card color is at the Beau- I don't have a clue) player...simply didn't LIKE me. Didn't like that I had busted his wife out of the previous day's tourney...and apparently had an opinion of me that went back a few years...probably when I was much more outspoken, a bit crazier, and certainly more controversial. But this was one of those assholes that doesn't keep up with current events. One of the guys who plays poker tourneys maybe once or twice a year. So when he saw his chance to 'show that guy Monkey' what he could pull...he went to his casino host...and DEMANDED that I be removed from the rest of that event...or he was threatening to take his play somewhere else.

And in the casino business...that is something that these pricks tend to get away with. The casino industry is down, across the board. So when one of your degenerate whales threatens to take his oodles of junkie gambling money to the casino down the street, they have no problem making some poker player who doesn't play (hardly at all) in their table games suffer the consequences. I believe some call it collateral damage. Sure...I play all the tourneys. And a shit ton of sit n gos. They make their fair share of rake off of me. But us poker players? The casino really doesn't give two shits about us. We are VERY expendable. Ever been sitting in a cash game at casino, and try to order something that 'requires' a higher ranking of player card to get for free? The waitress doesn't even ASK you if you might, possibly, be in possession of that card. She just TELLS you that you can't have it. Why? Because it requires a ____ card to order. It drives me fucking nuts. 

So yeah...that was why I was banned from the Beau Rivage a year and a half ago. And oh...the boys tried (unsuccessfully, since I was told the truth later by people in the know) to paint some bullshit story about my 'behavior' being complained about by 'several' players...and that I was just being asked to sit out the rest of that event. Hmmm...yeah. So when I just bit the bullet...and left peacefully...despite knowing I'd been fucked, I figured it wasn't worth pursuing and possibly making any worse. So next...I attempted to play the next event there. Even contacted the poker management there to let them know I intended to play their event...and asked them to let me know if I should expect not to be able to play. No notice ever came. So I bailed on plans to play at an event going on at the same time in Oklahoma. I show up on the first night...and get turned away. Why, I ask? "You know why," I'm told. Um...no, actually I don't.

And this was where my little war with the Beau Rivage began. And one person in particular. It was action that was unfair, and inappropriate by them. (or him) And then when I attempted to start a group to get their attention...threatening to stop playing their events until changes were made...he went to his security person at the Beau Rivage, Eric Newton...and had me (no idea how THAT conversation went) 86'd from ALL MGM properties around the nation. Why? No idea. When I wrote a letter to him, to the Table Games Manager, the Casino President, and the Security Director...asking for an explanation...do you think I got a reasonable response? The correct answer...is NO. In fact, not one of them responded, at all! It was at this point that I just decided I didn't care anymore. I mean...why should I have to FIGHT...to be allowed to go to a place where I'm giving away my money? When I haven't done anything wrong in the first place? I've played all over Vegas in MGM properties...for years...and never had a single solitary incident even once. But oh...this guy didn't like that I started a group on Facebook...so he gets me trespassed from all of them. I found it appalling that management for the Beau Rivage, and/or MGM would find his behavior responsible or professional.  But...what do I know?

So...last month...I decided to remove that group from Facebook. Why? I don't know. Didn't seem to be serving a purpose anymore. And I have Carley now...and can't travel as much now. It would be nice if I would have more options available to me in my home town. I hadn't said a damn word about the Beau or their management in over a year. And last week...I happen to be checking out their structures for their current event going on up in Tunica at Goldstrike...and the event that follows it at the Beau in late August. They look, at the risk of sounding like I'm endorsing their event...impressive. 8000 starting chips, 30 and/or 40 minute levels...and pretty much every blind level. So hey...maybe they DID hear me...in all my PREPOSTEROUS demands that they pull their heads out and give the players decent structures. Another thing I noticed; their juice charged on their tourneys isn't completely out of control. In fact...its pretty reasonable...which is a lot more than I can say about a lot (most in fact) of the other tourneys going on right now.

So...what did I do? I sent a text message to the poker room manager there...and told him I would like to be considered for re-admittance to the casino, and having my ban lifted at the other properties. I did not hear back from him. So I texted him again two days ago...letting him know that a response, either positive OR negative would be appreciated. I still haven't heard a word back from him. Okay folks. You tell me...is there a step I'm missing in there somewhere? 

Did I get side-tracked? Ehhhh...maybe, just a little bit. 

But this is where we are heading here with Ferret-Face over in Pensacola. So before I give you the crisp details of this guy's little campaign to rid the Dog Track of future appearances of 'Senor Monkey' allow me to pose a question to you first. (and you guys who run the poker room over there in Pensacola)

When you sit down at a 1/2 table...with your $200...maybe $300...you expect to play a certain kind of game right? The standard raise is usually between $6 and $15 usually, right? Maybe $20 in greater extremes. You get to play a lot of hands. The money usually gets passed around a fair amount. No one gets their feathers ruffled too much. Standard 1/2 table, right?

Enter...the player from the 2/5 game. Only...tonight, there is no 2/5 game. Not enough interest, or players to get it going. He pulls out about a grand...and is told he can only play $200. Of course...he knows this. He is just trying to impress and/or intimidate the rest of the table, letting them know he is a big shot. Except that all the other players just roll their eyes. Because they know he is just a jackass. He then turns the game into a joke. No flop can be seen for less than $30. His sole intention is to bully the table. Within half an hour...most of the table wants him to die...or get busted, at the minimum. We've all sat down at this table. We all know this guy. We all hate him. Is this guy good for the game? This guy who pisses off, and actually ends up running off several of the players who refuse to sit there and fold every hand to this assclown?

Well...this jacktoad...is the guy who is responsible for trying to get me blocked from going back to the Dog Track. Why? Because I was the guy that had the balls and the bankroll to stand up to him when he was pulling that bullshit the last time I was over there. It took me about 6-8 minutes to decide I hated this guy. His face, his demeanor, his style of play, his bullying tactics. And I liked the other players at the table...so I casually took a few pictures of him...hoping I'd be able to tell a story about him later (successful mission) and set to work on busting his ass. I would lay a couple traps for him...and bust him, twice causing him to rebuy. I said very little to him. But after awhile...he started saying some shit to me...so I simply responded with short, incomplete answers that frustrated him more than anything, and amused the rest of the table.

His foolish pride wouldn't allow him to take his foot off the gas...and now that the other players had seen me stand up to him...they started getting a little more brave as well. He would lose a few big pots...then get lucky and suck out to get back to even. But I just sat there and kept winning. And when I got to about three times my buy in...and it was 3:30am...I decided it was time to call it a night. That's when he started shooting his mouth off. Telling me I couldn't leave yet. 

"Sorry champ...I'm tired, and got stuff to do tomorrow."

"But I thought maybe you could stay and teach me how to play poker!"

"Sorry sir...not only do I not have any interest in teaching you how to play good poker, I don't have that much time left on this planet!"

He was still talking shit as I was saying my goodbyes to the 'pleasant' players at the table and making my way to the window to cash out.

So. Here is the story. This clown....J-O-H-N...goes to the manager over there...or one of them, and (after finding out...probably from another player or a dealer) that I had posted his photo in my blog...and talked about my experience playing against him...DEMANDED...that I not be allowed to play there anymore. That I had somehow crossed some line by taking his picture and talking about him. Two things: (1) There is no sign posted over there about taking pictures of other players. (2) I said nothing that would defame his character or damage his reputation. So...on the basis of thinking I did something wrong by posting his picture and talking about him...he is swinging at air.

He threatened them with not playing there anymore. Yes...I'm not making this up. Or trying to be funny. He is one of their regular players. And I'm sure they appreciate his business. But I have to think he drives a hell of a lot more players away than he attracts. And why would the management over there kowtow to a guy like that? And his threat to not play there? Ohhh scary! Where else is he GOING to play? When I asked that question of my source, he kind of laughed and said..."Oh...he told them he would go and play at house games instead." Seriously? That is what he threatened them with? I'll take my ball and go play at house games? Now that is hilarious. 

I mean...they all regard the guy as a fish over there. And none of them WANT him leaving, for that reason alone. But him trying to impose demands on them? That they evict a player because he 'talked about him' is comical. Its like 'Little Jimmy' going to the principal in 4th grade and ratting out Tommy Lucas for sneaking a smoke behind the gymnasium. Get a life Little Jimmy. And you too, JOHN! You are a clown, pal. A wanna-be bully who's only form of bullying is the ability to throw a bunch of money on the table and try to turn that into a form of power. Guys like you in poker are a dime a dozen. They come and go...year after year after year. Guys like you, are...in a word...L-O-S-E-R-S.

I'll be honest with y'all. One of the biggest reasons I was hoping I would have final tabled the Main Event this year? Was so I would no longer have to deal with these assholes. These pricks who think because they toss their money around on a regular basis, that they have some sort of entitlement. And what makes it worse...is there exists, in management, some people who actually cave into their childlike behavior. But one of the nice things about poker (I guess, though it shouldn't HAVE to be that way) is that once you become a 'universally recognizable name' in poker...you don't ever have to worry about that petty bullshit anymore. And yeah...that would be nice. But alas, my 175th place finish did not quite get me to that point. So I shall continue to exist on that 'second layer' of poker fame...known by most in the full time poker community, but not well enough to get hounded by passive poker fans at the airport and grocery store...or well enough to never have to worry about the 'fleas and ticks' of the poker world creating irritating situations.

So...this is where my 'situation' with the folks at the Pensacola Greyhound Track now lies. If any of you folks over there would like to call me (I know you have my number since you called to tell me I was invited to play your end of the month freeroll this month) and tell me I either have the green light...or the dreaded red light...it would be mighty nice of y'all...and prevent me from having to deal with another annoying episode.

Okay...I had some funny things to discuss...but it can wait for my next entry. Time to get ready for the night game...and packed...as we have to leave after the game and drive home. I'm sure I will gather more nuggets of hilarity to share. One thing I need to talk about is Kai Landry and his pathetic trophy that I am about to go win on Sunday. After winning it, I have promised to strip to my boxers and jog throughout his neighborhood shrieking like a mental patient. Then I will probably take the thing down to the beach and fire an easily-acquired AK47 at it. (yes, that was a controversial gun control reference)

MONKEY