Oh....The Pain....

 Yesterday...the mental destruction of Summer '11 reached it's apex. There is nothing worse...than knowing you are outplaying your table, over and over and over. Making the right calls, making the right laydowns...using patience to put yourself in position to grab an important victory. Then seeing it all end to a horrendous, gut-wrenching river...with a guy needing one or two lone cards in the deck...and getting it, to crush you. It's never easy to stomach. The pain just lingers...the desire to talk to people, to even be around people...vanishes. People invite you to a party. No thanks. Someone wants to share a drink with you. Pass. Another player wants to share with you the story about his untimely demise. You don't care. And don't expect anyone to care about YOURS...so you go into isolation, alone...to work through your own personal pain.

 

How many times in one summer can you be left with the felling of wanting to put on a blindfold, pop a smoke into your mouth, load up a handgun...and call it a day???

 Yesterday I woke up in a great mood. Kai and I got ready...and made our way to the Rio with our sights set on locking up a seat into the Main Event...as the Day 1a players were kicking off the WSOP Main Event in the Amazon Room. ( Big UPS by the way to super nice guy Fred Berger who emerged from Day 1a as the overall chipleader!)

There were 736 players in the $1k Mega Satellite, with 70 winning a seat. I was hit with the deck early...getting KK three times...and getting double ups with it twice...once against QQ, the other against JJ shoving all in. I never had a small stack. I was cruising. Then as we got down to 80...and the blinds were gradually increasing...I got down to only 8-10 BB's and started realizing I would need to win a hand at some point to assure my chances of getting a seat.

Just moving into the seat on my right was a Euro...with a lot of chips, and you know what he started doing...raising every hand. He shoved all in on my BB three times...with me looking at crap every hand but getting increasingly frustrated. He had his chips all spread out, similar to a limit player, so he had to wrap his arms around them and look at his hand way out in front of them. In doing so, he was inadvertently showing me his cards. So...with 8 players to the seat...and me sitting on 45k with the blinds at 3k/6k...and knowing I was going to need to pick up a pot pretty soon or be faced with getting blinded way down. So when he flashed his A10 to me and moved all in, I fully expected to look at some shitty hand, breath a deep sigh of disgust...and fold.

But instead I looked at AJ. Whoa. He's drawing to three outs. How do I NOT call here? That would be the biggest wuss-out of all time. So yeah, I called. With a chance to get to over 90k...and be able to coast to my $10k Main Event seat. And what happens? Well, the picture is posted further down. Yeah..he flopped a ten...and it held. And I just sat there...staring at the board. Misery my closest companion.

Yet another late, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching three-outer at crunch time....

I walked out into the hallway...with Brian Smith in tow...a kid who plays my football pools, and my fantasy leagues...who had stopped by to meet me. Unfortunately for him...he caught me at one of those moments when you really don't want anything to do with ANYONE. Nice guy. And very understanding of the situation. But I just needed to go find a cave/hole to hide in, alone. 

Then Kai calls. I had given him the keys to my car: to use my car to jump start his...having left his lights on and killed his battery. Not on his new car. Oh no. Kai drove that back to Biloxi, then flew back here. He has some goofy idea of rescuing his old, legendary piece of crap...fixing it up, and finding some person hungry for pain and suffering to sell it to. So upon busting...he calls to tell me he just broke down over by Circus Circus...that my car is in the parking lot...but that he has the keys. So now I can't even leave. Grrrrrr!

On top of it all...while needing a jump start...two guys he thought were his friends, passed him in the parking lot, claiming not to 'have time' to stop and help him out with a jump start. He was pretty pissed off about that...have to admit, I don't blame him.

My day got a little worse too, when I sit down and notice that the lens had fallen out of the prescription glasses I was wearing. What the.....no way! Sure enough, a screw had fallen out...causing the lens to pop out. Jeezuz. Spent 15 minutes looking for it..and finally did. Of course, no luck on the screw. So a trip to the mall to get those fixed is now on the schedule. 

 

My buddy, 'Spur dog...missing his Daddy. Trust me...after every bad day there is nowhere I would rather be than in that bed snuggling with my little monkeys.

When you're having a day like this...all you can think about is the things that make you smile. Your wife. Your kids, if you have some...like Kai does. I know when he's having a shitty day he always thinks about his little girls. For me its my two sweet dogs. Who are always happy to see me, who miss me when I'm gone...and who, no matter how bad my day is going...always bring a smile to my face when I see them.

This summer was supposed to be about me making enough to sit back and relax at home....for at least a few months. Go nowhere. Play NOTHING. Replace Squirrel's engagement ring...that she lost in the Gulf of Mexico. Maybe get her the Lasix surgery she has been wanting for years. Get Jasper some new hips so he can enjoy playing ball in the twilight years of his life. Pay off my remaining credit debt. Take my wife on a vacation to somewhere we've never been before. Maybe get her into a new car. Hell...if I did good enough, maybe FINALLY get us out of our rental house in Biloxi. But all it's been is one close call after another...all summer. Mixed in with a couple nice hits...a nightly win here, a couple of big SNG's there...but with all the buy ins, with failed results...cancelling those out in the long run.

Which is why...when losing a shot at a WSOP Main Event seat...so close to the finish line...it's so demoralizing. Because I have NO DOUBT that if I get into that event...I have an excellent chance of cashing. And just cashing would be $22,500 or so...which...going home with would provide a big band-aid to a rough, frustrating summer.

Look at that face. Squirrel tells me she has been sleeping balled up in the closet underneath the racks where my shirts sit. I miss you too Mollie!!!

 So...taking all this into account...I decided to 'man up' and buy into the 8pm Mega Satellite...that comes with a hefty $2080 price tag...but which sees 20% of the field lock up a seat. I got off to a frustrating start. One guy at the table was getting drilled by the deck. The whole table was getting flustered, and started making panic plays against the guy. Not me...I just sat there, patiently waiting for his 'good run' to come to an end, and for mine to start. And that is EXACTLY what finally happened. 

I raise with 77. I get called by the BB...who held 10-10. The flop came 7-8-9. He check raised me all in...and somehow I faded the world...for my first double up. Another guy moved all in...the guy who had been running over the table smooth calls...and I look at QQ...raising the shit out of it...and making him fold. Small stack shover had 66. I hit a set. Then a short while later...this guy got his slow roll shoved right back in his face. 

At 600/1200...he raises to 3200. I look down at AQs in the SB...notice that he has 8000 behind...and I raise to 6500. BB folds. And this guy starts to tank. Thinking....thinking....I'm just assuming he has a hand like AJ or KQ...or maybe 77...and is wondering if he should go with it...or fold and wait for a better hand. More time goes by. Finally...he goes all in.

Okay...well, I'm certainly not folding for another 1500. I might have likely overplayed AQ there...but it is what it is. He turns over AA. WHAT THE FUCK!?? What an asshole. And a dipshit. Slow rolling me with AA? Why? Was he thinking MAYBE  I would fold for 1500 into a 16k pot? I snapped on him.

"Dude. Are you kidding me? Slow-rolling me with aces? Man...I really hope I punish you with a bad beat! Come on dealer!!!!"

I flop a queen. Yeah...come on, come on...then I turn a spade flush draw...oh yeah...come on....you can do it....and then...on the river....BOOM! A queen!!!! Awesome! Hilarious! I showed the most emotion after winning a hand as I had in a long time! I now had a monster stack.

The players are dropping like flies. Things are looking good. Then...at cutoff, I raise with KJ...and a shortstack tanks before going all in. Damn. Not enough to make me fold...so I call. He has AJ. Ugh. Anything but THAT. He wins. Then I go card dead for a long time.

Finally, with a raise and an all in, I'm in the BB and look down at QQ. Oh no...not those bitches again. Dammit. I have no choice but to call. First guy has A4. Next guy has 10-10. Okay...well, pretty good shape. The all in small stack flops two pair (A4). But he's really short...and I'm more concerned about the big stack's side pot possibilities. Then the dealer puts a damn 10 on the river. I just sank in my chair, didn't say a word. But I was left with only 2500 chips. I was in bad shape.

But I miraculously ran that back up to 19,000...and was now back to dreaming about having my seat locked up by the end of the night...about spending all day Friday at the pool relaxing, in preparation for playing Day 1c on Saturday.

Then we are 5 away from the seat. The guy at cutoff goes all in for 22,500.  I have around 19k...and with the blinds at 3k/6k...I need badly to win, to get a double up. I look down at AJh. I know I'm ahead of this guy...I was. I call. He turns over...no! El Diablo! Oh no...God no!!!! And sure enough...the first card I see coming off the deck is a damn king. OMG. Not again! Yup...and it holds...and once again, I was out...OUT! Kicked off the doorstep of the WSOP Main Event. Dammit. And the legend of El Diablo (K10 to you newbie readers) adds another chapter to the growing tale.

After walking aimlessly around the Rio for about 30 minutes...I decide to go play a SNG. Joined a $275 with a $100 last longer. Won the first three hands I play. Then...and this hand was a real joy...I raise with AA UTG and get four callers. I flop a set of aces. The guido in the 2-seat had called my raise with J7s...and had flopped A-2-7 with two spades. I think you all know how this one is going to end, right? Yeah...he hits a spade. And I'm out. Shaking my head in disgust. Sitting at that table, in Seat 1...was a total goofball...a guy wearing yellow shaded glasses, with one of those stupid hats, like the one the guy wore on the 'Honeymooners' way back when. This toolbag was flying around the Rio in a rented scooter/rascal/hove-a-round. Apparently they are renting these things out for $138 a week. So what do you have now? A bunch of lazy jagoffs riding around on these things. And as I have bitched about in the past...they often times ride them way too fast. This douche almost runs me over. When I ask him to please slow down...he got all defensive.

What a jerk!

Want the glamor of being a massage therapist? The money is decent...but the client base is unbeatable!

 If you are going to resort to using these things...at least look a bit like the guy up above. But this guy, who I had the displeasure of observing being massaged? Not even HE was using one of those things. He was walking around. Our country is getting so lazy...its nuts!

 

Kai and I were coming home from a horrendous day of poker...had just stopped off for some unhealthy junk food...and see this schlub sitting on a rock...in about 105 degree heat, looking...well, lets just say observing HIM made us both feel a lot better about ourselves!

 At first glance I thought there was a chance this guy was holding my missing Monkey. I can't decide whether I think Monkey has been stolen, lost or kidnapped. I do know I had him in the pocket of my hoodie, which is admittedly shallow, and could have slipped out. But with a $500 reward on the safe return of Monkey...I would think someone would have found it and been eager to return him to me. Not having Monkey, I feel like a part of me is missing. It sucks. This dude above...not holding Monkey. He escaped possible injury.

Depending on what kind of mood you're in...there are a lot of potential captions for this photo. I think there could be a photography award of some kind for me in the future for this beauty!

 I'm getting out of my car the other night (early morning) and I see this high heel...laying in a handicap parking spot. I thought to myself..."Hmmm...what an interesting picture this would be. I personally (because my brain is like a scatterboard) produced about 5 or 6 possible captions to this photo. I can only imagine how many more I am missing.

I have nothing to say on this one.....kind of speaks for itself!

 See this guy in the picture above?  You're probably expecting me to say something nasty about him, right? Well...sorry to disappoint you. I'm not going there. In fact, never even met the guy or had him at my table. He was seated a couple of tables over. I'm just sharing this with those of you who never get a chance to get out to Vegas for the World Series. You see a LOT of this stuff, crazy hairdos, whacky outfits...just a lot of crazy shit that causes you to take a double look. Yesterday, a guy...yes a guy...went waltzing into the Rio dressed up like Snow White...I'm not shitting you. Even wearing red high heels. He was not a pretty lady either. I'm assuming he lost a bet. I hope so anyway. I tried to get a picture...but he was just moving too fast.

The one thing about the WSOP that is so different from traveling and playing in circuit events is that you get people from all over the planet. I can't deny that I hate the way Euro's play...but I also relish the opportunity to meet new people from other countries, and make some new friendships. Poker is one of those things that offers the opportunity to expand your cultural boundaries without actually leaving US soil. Kind of neat.

 Received a text message from Ken Lambert at the Beau Rivage/Goldstrike...letting me know that he is leaving there, to take a position at Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma. I'm not sure if Ken is from Oklahoma...maybe that would be the lure to take that gig. I do know that I have always liked and respected Ken...and am a bit sad to see him leave the Gulf Coast. But I wish him happiness in his new job. I've also met a few new friends from the Choctaw Casino area...so I see a trip up that way in my near future.

On the Fourth of July Kai and I decided to go play in the Suzie and Howard Lederer Charity tourney at the Golden Nugget. By the time I had bought in...and rebought twice...and taken an add on...I was in for $525. First place was $10k. I did not win. There were a lot of  players at the table who had ZERO experience. And if you have ever played in a charity event with people who are better at 'Go Fish' then they are at poker...you know that you are in trouble. The other issue was that we had a few dealers who had NO clue what they were doing. As a poker player who does this full time...to sit and watch mistake after mistake...and not lose it, or come off sounding like a know-it-all prick...its hard. So taking a Xanax...and just sitting back and laughing to yourself at the ridiculousness of the situation is usually the best idea.

 

Written on that napkin...are the rankings of poker hands in the order of strength. How do you play against THAT player?

Kai Landry finds a guy who has caught 4th of July fever and isn't afraid to show his patriotism. Yes that is a super kick-ass mullet. God bless America!

 In the photo on top...this guy was sitting across from me in the 1-seat. See the napkin. After awhile, I noticed it had writing on it. I could see the words "All In" so I had to get a closer look. On break...I went over to check it out. It was a checklist of the hand rankings! From 'Ace High'...on down....'one pair', 'two pair'...all the way up to 'Royal Flush' which next to that he had written 'All In.' That was hilarious! Everytime it was his turn he had to be told by someone. Had to be told to post his blinds. His raise was always not enough. Charity tourneys are something I think I'm going to have to skip in the future.

In the other photo...Kai was obsessed with this guy...who he insisted was the former lead singer for the Thompson Twins. Sporting star-spangled pants...he had shaved half of his head...while the other half was allowed to grow long, wild and free. It was sort of a mullet. Very different. But you gotta love his patriotic spirit!!!

 

Could this be my future mode of transportation?

An era in American space travel has come to a sad close this morning, with the final launch of Space Shuttle Atlantis...after this, we become hitchhikers. Nice!

 

This morning...while in and out of sleep..I was suddenly woken by CNN's coverage of the last shuttle launch, ever. I'm glad I woke up. I've always been fascinated, my whole life...by space travel. As a 17 year old...I sat there in the student union at Lake Washington High School...watching as the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded while on launch. I will never forget that feeling. Or the feeling I had when Space Shuttle Columbia broke up on re-entry over Texas...killing the entire crew. I hate to imagine the suffering that all those crews and their families were forced to endure. But the way they lived their lives...challenged by the forces of nature, to reach heights few people ever get to achieve...to me, is worth dying for. I can't believe, or stomach the fact that our country is becoming so broke that we now have to rely on a $65m hitch-hike mission on a Russian spaceship now to reach our own International Space Station. And China is aggressively pursuing a space program right now...threatening to leave us in the dust. It sucks.

Yeah Casey...you think YOU'RE shocked?

Great job by the prosecution team down in Florida for the ability to put child killer Casey Anthony in jail for life. Just three weeks ago, the big debate was 'Should Florida seek the Death Penalty' for Casey Anthony? Or just life in prison? No one was even questioning whether she would be found guilty or not. It was just a matter of 'how will she be punished?'

Way to go Casey. You pulled it off. Now you can get back to what you really found to bring you the most joy in life...unencumbered partying. Step right up boys...Casey has a lotta catching up to do!

 So, due to a horrendous job of proving guilt in the case...and instead of approaching the case by charging her with something that would have been a lot easier to convict her of, they brazenly charged her with First Degree Murder...despite any hard evidence to actually link the bitch to the crime. Just a whole lot of 'circumstantial' evidence. Never mind that her own family more or less turned on her and doubted her innocence. Instead of charging her with, say...conspiracy, or manslaughter, or reckless endangerment of a minor...hell, I don't know...my backer is a former attorney, I'm sure she has a better grasp on how this should have been handled...and is just as pissed off if not more, than most of the public out there.

I will say one thing though...seeing these idiots in the street protesting her NOT GUILTY verdict? Get a life people. What are you trying to bring about? Nothing is going to happen to her. She is going to get released from jail. She will write a book. Who knows, probably get a damn reality show...she will move to LA probably...away from the scrutiny of her community. She will probably ex-communicate her Mom and Dad. Hell, she already denied her Mother's attempted visit today. She will go back to partying like its her job. She will turn into everyone's little sex toy. Why? What guy doesn't want to be able to tell 'his boys' that he banged Child Killer Casey Anthony? I mean...those kind of guys? They're all wired the same. Dipshits.

Look at that face. What could she have done that earned her a place in the woods in a shallow grave? How many people would give anything for one of these little angels?

I don't give two shits about Casey Anthony, or whether she got fried, locked away for life...or set free to go ruin her life on her own. Don't care. What makes me sad...is that this beautiful little angel named Kaylee was killed, stuck in a trunk, driven to the woods, and buried in a shallow grave. What did she do to deserve that? Cry too much? Annoy Mommie too much somehow? Its just sad. I hope God gave her a special little place in heaven.

I'm also glad the case is over so I don't have to see that bitch Nancy Grace's ugly, scowling face all over the TV. I have no idea how that skank manages to stay on TV. I mean...who out there LIKES her? Or do the TV execs keep her on KNOWING she is hated...but knowing people turn her on so they can just watch her and seethe?

HERE ARE SOME FUN LITTLE NANCY GRACE CLIPS....BITCH!!!

SOME MORE...hope you are enjoying.....I know I AM!!!

NANCY IS NOW A WEATHER EXPERT....what a Fu***ng C***!!!!

Nothing better than being BitchSlapped/Owned by a little girl! You go Elizabeth!!!!

Okay...that should be about enough Nancy-bashing for one day. I hate her. Hate her face. Hate her voice. Hate her hostility. Hate her views. DIE NANCY DIE!!!!

Meanwhile...its now 6:35pm. Day 1b is in full swing. I didn't play the 1pm Mega today. Or the $550 at 4pm. Nor will I play the 8pm $2k. Nope...my plan is to play SNG's all night. Hope to win a few of them...restore my suffering bankroll...and then play the 1pm $1k tomorrow (Saturday)...hope I win...and play on the last Day 1 on Sunday...and finish strong. If I do NOT win the Mega...I will pursue other avenues...namely, selling shares like I was going to do at the start of the summer...to ensure my place in the biggest tournament on the planet with the biggest opportunity for life changing money...with the greatest structure of any tourney in existence. 

I MUST PLAY THE MAIN EVENT! If you are reading this...and want to post the $10k buy in...I will be willing to play for 35%. No less. These next 24 hours are going to be huge. Okay...time to shower up...and go make it happen!

MONKEY

***as I conclude this blog entry...the skies outside of my window are dark black..and a National Weather Service announcement just went out on the air...warning of high destructive winds and hail. Tornado??? In Vegas??? This could get exciting. ***