On Tap...'The Dogtrack $700"

If you live in the Pensacola area...today's poker tourney is like the Indy 500. For the rest of us its just another tourney. Sort of. 

I am currently working on what should be very amusing for all of you hard-core poker players. Today is Day 3 in...well, I'm staying in Perdido Key actually. The first two days saw me play the Mega satellite (lost with KK vs. AK...obv) and the nightly yesterday (KJ vs. AQ flop K-J....turn, of course...a 10) before working in a couple of cash sessions. I made quads three times in two days and won some lovely parting gifts from the DogTrack poker room.

Fun Place! You see a guy lose repeatedly in the cash game...two minutes later he is back with a fistful of tickets...and a reborn enthusiasm...as he roots for his new favorite pooch to get him outa the hole!

What I have witnessed here will make your head, quite possibly, become separated from your body...and roll across the floor. Hands you have seen played out in other venues, where you had to just shake your head (reference ANY tourney you have EVER played in Tunica here) you will look back on with a sense of dismissal after playing here for even one hour. I finally took to documenting individual hands...less I somehow accidentally purge the memory of them from my brain and its diminishing capacity to remember ridiculous encounters having to do with poker.

This is like a wasteland for poker dealers and players over here. Dealers I haven't seen since the days of The Grand in Biloxi. Players who...when I used to play with them were old...now are on life support. A lot of guys I hoped I would never, ever see again...some I remember quite fondly. Its been quite an interesting experience over here. I don't have time to get into all these goofy, comical hands right now... mainly because I fully expect to ADD to them today in the 'Big Tourney' or whatever the hell they are calling this donkfest at the dogtrack.

I'm staying with James Ray in his cool little condo in Perdido. I took my 4Runner to the shop for some routine maintenance. But then...the day before, it starts doing this weird thing where the stereo stays on AFTER I turn off the engine AND remove the key. Huh? Yeah. And everything else electric. Resulting in a drained battery twice. The word from the dealership is: 'We aren't sure what is going on there...but we will continue to investigate (which means labor+labor+labor+labor=holy shit!!!) until we figure it out. They close today at 4pm. They are closed on Sunday. Have a feeling I am going to be stuck here til Monday.

I ended up buying my $700 entry for $550. A lot of people have extra entries they can't get rid of....so they sell them at a discount. Good. Putting $700 into this thing is a spooky thought. I mean...these people are SO bad, you can't bring yourself to believe you are witnessing some of the hands you are watching go down. I think today's strategy is going to have to be to just play super tight, look for a good spot to double up...then just play divide and conquer all day!

Gabe and Claudia are coming over to play...so at least I can count on there being 4 good players in the tourney, at least. 

They are fanatical about the cell phone over here. Like...its ridiculous. And the iPad? Had four people at the table secretly go to floor person complaining about it...not because it was doing anything to harm them, or slow the game down. Nope, they just don't know what the hell it was...I think it frightened them. Like it was a crystal ball I was using to tell me the upcoming flops...or my opponents hands. I literally feel like I am on another Poker Planet when I am playing over here. It is a damn trip. 

Last night, I turn on this show on...I don't know what channel...about 'The Hunt for Bigfoot.' These idiots driving around in Oregon...calling what they are doing 'Bigfooting' I am typically not a cynic when it comes to stuff like UFO's and Bigfoot and whatnot. But this show was SO obviously concocted by a bunch of jackasses.  Dork was floating down a river with his dork posse...and literally delivers this classic line. "We might not be able to see any Squatches right now...but all the elements are here for Squatches...and you can be certain that there ARE Squatches present here. I guarantee it!!! It had so many glaring signs of 'bullshit' and their leader became so unbearable that I couldn't make it another minute. Click. 

Props to everyone for making this the #1 month in blog hits. Thanks to Adam Williamson for the shout out on his Twitter to get me peaked out. We are at like 9400 right now with two days left. Sick. Is 10k possible? Why not? Okay...I gotta get a shower and get outa here. Have 45 minutes and its a 20 minute drive. Got a nice seat draw at least...seat 5. Who knows? Maybe I will run good today? Could that possibly happen? We'll see!

MONKEY