Long Time No Blog....

I think I have slowly, over the past couple of months eroded away into the landscape of bloggers...once a reliable source of...well, SOMETHING...I have been ensconced in fatherhood, and the operation of my poker club on Pokerstars...to the point that I just don't ever seem to have a reason, nor the time, to sit down and rip off a blog post.

A lot of people keep asking if I am playing the WSOP this summer. The answer? No. I'm not. Why? Because of that incredible, ridiculous, upper-management directed sham of an 86 placed on me in Hammond back in the fall, all over a sentence spoken to a Russian, excuse me, Belorussian, girl/dealer...who happened to mention it to a dealer seeking superstardom in the hierarchy of Harrah's/Caesar's...who then placed it into the hands of the guy who has been pining for me to 'slip up' since having to be forced to allow me back in to the WSOP two years ago....when I should have NEVER been 86'd in the first place. 

Yeah...I know...its all so hard to keep up with. Frankly, at some point you just have to stop giving a shit about things you have no control over. And when someone is so determined to see you kept out of something..so much so that they will pretty much stoop to any tactic to bring it about...well, you grow exhausted, and while I am a fighter, always have been...I just kind of lost the passion, the determination, and really...the interest, to keep fighting to right the wrong. There are some poker players, mainly haters, jealous assholes, who delight in my exclusion from the WSOP. But you know what? Losers? There are a LOT more important things in life than being able to play in a fucking poker tournament. It's taken me awhile to come to the conclusion that they needed ME a lot more than I needed them. And that might sound cocky...but if you really think about it...it's not. 

So yeah...long story short....no WSOP for me this summer. And I didn't play last summer either...aside from one week...where I managed to finish 175th in the Main Event...before my KK fell to the 10-10 of eventual final table bubbler Elizabeth Hille....her making $509k..me, $44k. Quite a difference it makes when you get two-outed in the biggest tournament on the planet. Such is life. 

A lot has happened since last year. Most of it good. Something very interesting happened this week. I opened my mailbox...and there was a check from the Harrison County (MS) Clerk. Hmm. I opened it up and immediately saw the part attached to the check...telling me what it was for...before seeing an amount. 'Harrison County vs. Jody Wheeler/Melissa Rivers' The two assholes who robbed our house ...wow...two? Was it three now? Years ago? I can't even remember. About a year ago, I got something from the County asking me to fill out...something for Victims Recovery something or other...and telling me that the two jerks were about to go to trial. That was the last I heard anything about the case. They broke in, stole a safe containing $35,000 in cash...and pillaged through all our drawers and found a VERY expensive engagement ring that Claudia Crawford had asked Cheryl to hold/hide for her after her first of several breakups with Gabe Costner. That ring was worth almost as much as the cash they took. There were some rumblings that the cops were going to negotiate a plea of some kind with them if they returned the ring. That Jody's skinny little skank girlfriend...who I knew from hanging around the poker scene as a model with Rounders Magazine...had been seen wearing the ring. I would have loved to see Claudia run into this girl and see her wearing it...there is a good chance she would have bit that bitches finger clean off!!!

Well, I pretty much resigned to ever seeing a penny from this nightmare. So when I stood out there in the street looking at this check....I was both cynical, and excited at the same time. What were the chances that I would turn this thing over and see a 5-figure payment? I know...slim. And I was right. I turned it over...and it said $410.21. Oh. Gee. Isn't that wonderful. Granted...it's $410.21 more than I thought I would ever see from these two slimeballs.  Well, I called the Clerk's office the next day to find out...was this a one-time payment? A payment of .65% of our total loss? Was it a partial payment? Did these two get out of jail? Why didn't I get a letter explaining something...anything about this payment, or what happened to these two? Well...good news. Maybe. I was told that this payment...is a MONTHLY payment....for as long as they are on probation...which right now is scheduled for 5-years.  Well...there is a lot that can go wrong with that scenario..one of them being that they get OFF of probation sooner. Should they stop paying...well that would be a probation violation, which could land them back in jail...so that one isn't too likely. Unless they had a special fondness for jail.

I will just root for them to stay on probation, and for me to get $4800 a year for the next five years.

Next piece of good news was my house in Pensacola FINALLY getting the sewer situation resolved...and for a reasonable cost. For $2500 a plumber came in, filled in (called 'abandoning') my old septic tank...then ran the necessary lines and tapped me into the cities newly completely sewer/water lines. Which means after sitting vacant for a YEAR without a tenant...costing me some $10,000 in rental income....I am finally able to get a tenant in there...which will happen after I get the yard looking good, and get it cleaned up and everything functioning properly. Can't wait! Hopefully get a tenant in there by June 1st.

My two favorite girls on Carley's birthday.

Me and my angel...dontcha love her little birthday outfit!??

Carley was covered from head to toe in frosting...as we let her devour her own portion of cake.

Carley Grace turned 1-year old a couple weeks ago. It was marked by a big party at...ugh...Chuck E. Cheese up in Florence, Alabama. We were supposed to go to this park where we had rented a big pavilion, but there was a 100% chance of rain that day...and yes, it DID rain in fact...so we had to move it. And boy did it leave a big, stinging red welt in my wallet...as over 25 kids ($12 per kid) showed up. Add in their fees, the automatic pizza charge...everything else,  and a $65 cake...and it was a $500 birthday party. But the most important part was that she had fun. She is just now starting to walk. It is the cutest damn thing ever. Watching her go from walking just two or three steps....then to five....and a couple days later...EIGHT...and she gets this big huge smile on her face, knowing she is accomplishing something amazing; it just makes me and Squirrel smile so much. On top of it all, she is really starting to develop quite the little personality. I wish I'd known 20 years ago how much raising a child was/is...I really do. I'm sure  would have 3 or 4 of them by now. It is, hands down..the greatest thing I've ever been a part of in my whole life.  For those of you who have kids you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! For those who don't? Well, I suspect you are like I was before I had kids...and your thinking something like...."dude...please, this is boring, shut up about the baby thing." I understand...I do...that was me for 40 years!!!

So yeah...it's Mother's Day today. Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there...especially mine!

The Pokerstars Poker Club is going awesome. Though...I will say...it is also the daily source of monster frustration. We have a tourney next weekend, a freeroll, for the Top 15 players who bubbled the most last month. I was third...with 22 bubbles. I had 5 today. There really is nothing more annoying. And man, I have got some players in my club who are just...well, they, and some of the plays they make simply defy poker logic. Part of me feels like I should just NEVER play...and just make my money running the club. But I feel like, as the host...I should be in there playing. But my gawd...it reminds me of the days when Pokerstars was going strong here...play many many hours...get deep, and take some ridiculous beat to lose. It's so incredibly hard sometimes not to lash out in a rage...I mean, you all know how it is, if you play poker...the guy calling you with whatever...overs? Bottom pair. Gutshot. There is no one specific play you can settle on. It's just a collection of all of them. Over and over and over. But all these people playing? They are paying our bills right now. So I have to bite my tongue. To the point that I have holes in my tongue. 

Part of me feels like they all make these crazy, insane plays against me because they are just dying to knock me out. Why? Maybe its my imagination. But its either that or they can (a) see my cards and (b) know what is coming on the turn and river...and maybe even the flop. Guy calls a raise, and a RERAISE...with 48 spades....and beats my flopped set with a river flush in my highest buy in tourney today. Just left me shaking my head.

The schedule has gotten a lot better...the 5 and 10 buy in games are quickly fading off...replaced by more 30 and 50 games. Which draw a lot more players. I have currently got 5 openings in the club...and I have 10-15 players who are logging only 1-10 games a month. As soon as I find players who want to play the bigger buyins...and on a more regular basis...they are getting in. With only being able to have 100 members, I am striving to get as MANY of those 100 players playing a decent amount of games every month. I mean...summer is coming, and I know things will slow down quite a bit, with a lot of players playing events in Vegas, myself included. Which is why its really important/vital...that I get the back end of my club turned over and filled with active players. 

If you are interested in getting into my poker club...shoot me an email. I currently have 5 confirmed openings. ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com

I finally caved in and agreed to run some Mega Satellites for members of my club to win a seat to the WSOP Main Event. I really wanted no part of it...with the way they have treated me over this BS in Hammond. But then I thought about it...and I guess I can't let my issues with 'them' extend to my players. And hey...maybe one of my members will win the damn thing...and take on my cause as a way of showing their appreciation! Hey! I can dream!

Cheryl had a rough month. About five weeks ago...she comes into our room crying. Saying her daddy was told by doctors in Huntsville that he had less than a year to live. That he has what appeared to be a huge cancerous tumor in his stomach. She raced home to be with him. Then he was admitted into a special ward in Birmingham that specializes in the type of thing he was suffering from. Everything was pointing to cancer. Her brother came down from Huntsville...and she drove up from Biloxi. I took care of Carley on my own for 4 days then another 4 days. He had a major operation...where they removed parts of his pancreas, and two or three other internal organs...and rerouted his entire intestinal tract. Then...after 5 days of recovery, his biopsy report came back....NO CANCER! Wow...what a relief. Needless to say...it was a remarkable bit of news for the whole family. Well...she went up to get him and brought him back here...where he is staying with us for I don't know how long as he recovers. 

It's the NHL Playoffs and my Rangers won a very exciting Game 6 today...to extend the series to 7 games...which they have to play tomorrow night in DC against the pesky Caps. No road team has won yet in the series. But I have a really good feeling about my Rangers winning tomorrow night. 

Okay I'm tired and going to bed. See ya.

Oh...right. Almost forgot. I am going to go to Vegas and play 17 days worth of Venetian events. If you are interested in buying up some shares...again, send me an email....to ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com. Not sure how many I will have available to sell...as I already have quite a few guys wanting pieces of anything I have to sell. 

Bon Soire!

MONKEY

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

I know, it happens every year...and why should I dedicate a whole blog to a birthday? Well, its been quite a year. A year we will celebrate in gusto in 4 more days. Well, really in 6...when Carley Grace has her big birthday party, her first, up at some park in North Alabama with all her relatives present. Well, that year has been made so great by my Mother. Since the moment we told her we were pregnant...she has been amazing. Checking up with us on EVERY...I mean EVERY...doctor's appointment, asking about Cheryl's health nearly every day, she has been with us almost every step of the way. When we gave birth to Carley...she was with us, on my iPad...courtesy of Skype. Then a week later, she arrived by plane, to spend a week with us...helping Cheryl through those first tough days. Cheryl's mom had been here the day of the birth, and for a week after. We had about the smoothest experience with childbirth that you could hope for.

In the weeks and months since, my mom has sent box upon box to our doorstep, most of them containing clothes. Some of those clothes....Carley grew so quick she never even got a chance to wear! About once every two months, Squirrel sits back in Carley's room...filling up a container with clothes that no longer fit, usually with sadness present on her face. It's tough for a mom, to picture her baby in each outfit...how cute she looked, and have to say goodbye to it forever. Oh...we saved some of them, of course. The Alabama cheerleader outfit.  Her Christmas dress. You know, the important ones!!! The rest...we now have about 3 or 4 bins sitting in the garage...that will go to her next friend or relative that has a little girl. I'm pretty sure our baby factory open and closed with production stuck on the number one! Hey...once you have created perfection...why try anymore? Naw...honestly, we are both just TOO old to keep at this. I hope we don't regret it later, but I think with my amazing family, and Cheryl's truly incredible family...that this little girl is going to be in good hands for the better part of her life.

So, on my mom's birthday, I just want to tell her I love her...we all love her. Carley's first trip on an airplane was to go see Grandma Cheri last fall...and she was a perfect angel. She will get a chance to impress us again with her travel skills when we go out to Seattle in June for a week long vacation to visit my mom and dad. We are really looking forward to that trip.

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Speaking of June and the trip to Seattle, a few of you have asked what my plans are for this summer. Well, I never really thought I was going to do my annual pilgrimage (with the exception being last year) to Vegas for the 7-weeks of hell...I mean, 7 weeks of poker that take place every summer. Bottom line, things are going too good at home right now. I enjoy being at home. I like watching my baby grow. Poker is going well, with the online club...both as the player and the operator...so why risk all that by going to Vegas and playing myself into debt? Or playing myself into mental anguish? I can't see the upside to that. I'm not saying I won't go out there at all. I'd hate to let summer come and go and not get at least a couple weeks to just go out...spend some time at the pool, eat a couple of fabulous meals, catch up with some good friends, and play a few tourneys and see if I can get lucky enough to get my hands to hold up, my over pairs to hold, a few lucky suckouts to occur...and a big score accidentally stumbled into...all without crippling my life bankroll. Sounds like a pretty good plan, right? So...we'll see...now that a good friend of mine is working at the Venetian, and they have a bigger and better poker room, it would be good to go play the Deepstacks (now oxymoronic since their deepstacks play like every other tourney....actually speedier than most) for a couple weeks.  If I do go out, I'm not sure if I would sell a package to investors, or just gamble and play on my own dime. I'll figure that out when we get closer to June. Or May even. Wow...May...next month? Yikes!!!

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So...what a week in news, eh? This mess in Boston was literally like something out of a movie. And I guess if this shithead lives, we will get a whole bunch of new information, still. I sure hope so, because these talking heads on the TV just wear me the hell out with their recycled information....over and over and over. Trying to dig and dig for new information that just isn't there. It's annoying. I finally had to just let Carley switch the TV back to Nickelodeon.

There is a certain person who has carved himself a niche, that being 'Conspiracy Theory Czar!!' I knew....as soon as this all happened, that there would be some new 'story' coming out of Conspiracy Central. I was right. It started with the photos of the three police officers standing around the fallen old jogger...something about the shadows not lining up right. Then we had all the reasons why we should think the boys were set up, used as patsies. Really? So our government concocted a plot, a plot to set off an explosion, with the intent to kill cheerful people watching a foot race on a lovely Monday afternoon? Why? To gain what?

I was pretty interested in all the various theories surrounding the mysterious circumstances at Sandy Hook, and going back as far as 9/11...there were certainly some bizarre things that were never explained, and seemed very damning. You've all seen the documentaries, I assume. On a daily basis we are given reasons to NOT trust our government. To not trust that they are giving us the whole story. That they might even be altering the course of history with the orchestration of certain events. Who knows? I mean...if these things really do occur, then of course someone knows. Right?

Well at some point, you really have to just decide what you are going to believe. I always say...its kind of like the Democrats and Republicans...who just, at some point, decide to draw an imaginery line in the sand where they have their belief system on one side, and the other sides belief system on the other. There is no seeing eye-to-eye, no agreement on anything. And all because they need something to set them aside from each other. The older and wiser I get, the more divisive I find the two-party system of government to be...and counterproductive.

There is only ONE question I have regarding the Boston bombings...and murdering of a campus cop. The person we saw police apprehend, completely naked...and place in the back of a police car? Who was that? The parents, and relatives of Asshole #1 are saying that was Asshole #1 that they put in the back of that police car. And if so...how was he killed in a gunfight? My suspicion, and I'm not going to lie...I'm thinking about calling the Boston PD and see if they will just answer this question point blank...is that the person they carjacked...police had no way of knowing if he was part of the group, and ordered him to take his clothes off to see if he was wearing an explosive device, then placed him in the police car before later letting him go. And his size, and features just happen to appear to look like Asshole #1.

People want to debate about whether or not they were terrorists? Dude...if you pack a bag full of explosives, place it at the feet of two little kids (one killed, one losing her leg) during a marathon...walk a couple blocks, then detonate it? Yeah....you are a fucking terrorist. It doesn't really matter where you are from, does it? You have somehow gotten twisted enough in your beliefs, your values, and allowed your anger with the country you are lashing out at....to perform this cowardly act. Yeah...fuck, you're a worthless little scum bag terrorist...who isn't man enough to look his enemy in the face and challenge him to a fight. Instead, he sneaks around blowing shit up.

This doctor who is getting torn to shreds by (mostly Fox News) the media for his statements the other day about the US bearing some responsibility for this? Because of our intervention in the Middle East? Well...to be fair, he makes some interesting points. In his defense, and to blast the main stream media, who love to twist the words of people...what he said WASNT that the 'US DESERVED what happened in Boston.' I hate the way these assholes in the media like to re-write people's statements. What he said...was that our activity in the Middle East...with the killing of innocent women and children (allegedly) through drone strikes and other operations...has incited these feelings in Muslims that have them wanting to strike back at us. To call this guy a Muslim sympathizer is ridiculous. He is simply pointing out the obvious. Do I think their is ANY way on God's green earth that we will EVER see peace with the Muslims? Hell no. I think any attempt they make to make us THINK they are peace loving people is merely an act to lull us into a complacency that will make us easier to conquer. But do I think there is an EASIER way to deal with these nutbags? Hell yes I do.

What exactly was the point of bankrupting our economy to attempt to infuse our style of politics, religion and economics on the people of Iraq and Afghanistan? Building them schools that they would just blow up because they don't believe in education? Building them roads and bridges that they would destroy? These people HATE our western ways...and for us to assume that we could just go over there...overthrow their military, and ingratiate them into our way of living? Was a joke. This mistake in the Middle East has been 15 years we will never get back. Remember when the Soviets invaded Afghanistan? It was almost the same scenario. Didn't go so well for them either. The Russians have had the same battle with Muslim-dominated Chechnya...the place these sweet little assholes in Boston came from. For awhile, we sided with the Chechnyans. Just like we sided with these psychopaths who overthrew the dictator in Egypt last year. Great idea, Barack, lets just go ahead and aide all these Muslim extremists who have one goal...the goal of destroying western civilization.

So back to my point. Who cares if these little pricks had help? Does it REALLY matter? The point is...they educated themselves to become what they became. The older, angrier Asshole....obviously willed his younger, more impressionable Asshole brother into going along with this act. It doesn't, and shouldn't, allow for anyone to feel sympathy for that shitbird who is laying in the hospital healing from his injuries...one being a throat wound that we have no idea how it occurred. Gunshot from cops? Attempt to kill himself?

I sat reading threads from the politically paranoid...how the Lockdown on Boston was a sign of things to come...of the Government's ability to put us all under their thumb. Excuse me...I think its a little different when you KNOW WHY they are putting the city on lockdown...and simply staying out of the way and allowing the cops to do their job....which...HEY! They actually did! With pretty damn good results.  I don't think our fellow citizens are going to allow the government to just one day take us all over. There are too many strong-willed people to let that happen. You don't piss off the people of the United States. We have demonstrated time after time...that once properly riled up...we will stomp the shit out of anyone. Including our own government, if they decide they are a little too big for their britches. I think the paranoid, conspiracy-touting whack jobs need to just take it down a notch...seriously. Barack only has three years left to do nothing...before we throw another useless Republican in there to take his turn. Probably Marco Rubio. 

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Hell's bells. I thought I posted this on Sunday...which WAS my Mom's birthday...and I just came on here to post something about Carley's birthday...her FIRST birthday...which is today!!! We are just about to load up the car and drive up to North Alabama for her first birthday party on Saturday. I guess when I hit 'publish' was about the time I lost my internet connection....so it didn't get published. Great.  :(

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Why do people have to drive like SUCH assholes? I mean...when you are going 65 in a 35 zone...and someone pulls out of a neighborhood...a good 100 yards ahead of you...but because you are flying...you come right up on their ass in a few seconds...why do you think it's fair for you to honk, flap your arms and flip them off? Answer? It's not. You are the ASSHOLE! Either slow your ass down....or be ready to hit the breaks when someone enters the street.

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On a mission to locate something for Squirrel the other day, I happened into the Wal-Mart in Gulfport. Now...I will say the obvious. People in Wal-Mart tend to be scary looking. In fact, its almost legendary. Their have even been websites created to show off the 'Wal-Martians.' But what I saw the other day blew even me away. And it was during peak hours...around 6pm. I did not see one...not ONE...even semi-attractive person in there. Not one. And it wasn't even close. You had every kind of ugly you could ever hope NOT to see in one place. 

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With 5 days left in the month...I'm currently sitting in 3rd place on the TLB leaderboard for our Pokerstars Tournament Series club. I have no shot at catching the guy in first...who has played like 200 games this month...compared to my 144. They guy in 2nd has me by about 20 pts. Last month I got 2nd...but by the most ridiculous of margins...achieved on the last event of the last day....beating me by half a percentage point. The schedule on there has really expanded. So much so that I am giving some thought to opening a second club with a full schedule. I hate to say it...and this is such a complete 180 from just 3 months ago....but I hope online poker NEVER returns to the USA!!!!

Okay time to get packed up and on the road.  Mama wants to see her birthday baby...and she is already up there, having left two nights ago.

MONKEY

Couldn't Be Happier....

It's been about two or three weeks since I posted a blog. Why? To be honest...I've just been busy, and haven't really carved out the time required to sit and share any thoughts.Yesterday, I was in the throes of sending statement out to my 100+ players in our new Tournament Series Poker Club on Pokerstars...which has, in effect, become my new 'job.' I've even 'hired' Squirrel as my secretary...which has done wonders for our relationship, and her finances. She is now more involved in what is going on in my life...and has a vested interest in the success of our club. 

As I mentioned, I was in the throes of doing all this...which happens every Monday...when I peeked up around 7pm at the TV...which, for the first time all day wasn't stuck on Nickelodeon...and saw the news out of Boston. Wow. Unbelievable. I think you all know how I feel about cowards. The ones I deal with...are usually the ones who leave anonymous comments on my blog, those guys who like to talk tough, and stern...with this caustic message, but aren't man enough to sign their name to them. Oh, I'm sure they have some 'legitimate excuse' for not doing that...at least they will rationalize it to themselves, to convince themselves that they aren't spineless pussies. Those people used to upset me. Get under my skin. Even cause me to seek revenge on them. Now? I could care less. It takes a person that is unhappy to start with to dig up the time and energy to leave some of the comments these guys leave. And so instead of letting it bother me? I just reflect for a few moments, on how miserable their own life must be. To sit there...read a (basically) stranger's blog, which essentially deals with that guy's (me) thoughts, feelings and opinions on a number of things....then write him an anonymous comment telling him things he would never say to my face. Why? What IS his/her goal in doing this? Does it make him/her feel better about themselves?

People are weird. They seriously trip me out all the time. So you have a person, or a group of people, who don't like you. What you represent. Stand for. The God you worship. The lives you lead. Your belief system, and values. So to 'get back at them' you decide to plant some bombs. In a crowded viewer area...of people watching a marathon. A marathon featuring runners from nations all over the world. Which is as much of a celebration of people's differences as there is. A 'celebration.' Yeah...if that is still possible. The reason the Olympics were formed in the first place...to bring different cultures, religions and ideals together, to flourish as one on the athletic field. But yesterday, that celebration of cultures was shattered by the bombs of a hate-filled group of people hell bent on chaos in the world. Innocent (again, just like 9/11 all over again) people were the victims. America sat glued to their TV. The President, of course, came on later to promise justice to those responsible. Sure, sure. Go get 'em Barack. 

The last year has been the happiest year of my life. My beautiful little girl is about to turn 1 year old. Every day with her has been a gift from God. I never knew I could be so happy, feel so fulfilled. I love my wife more than I ever have. I watch her every day, the amazing mother that she is. I feel that she equally admires me as a father...and that is has drawn us closer together. I think about the future...about our health, about the condition of our world...and I get a little scared. For Carley Grace. I know my life is mostly over. Oh sure, I probably have a good 20-25 years left in me. And I will do all I can to make those years count...not for me...but for my baby girl. I will try to shield her from the evils of our society. Protect her from the pitfalls that loom around every corner. I worry more about what she would have to endure if we were somehow taken away from her at an earlier age than we would like to be taken from her. All around us lately is death and illness. I count no fewer than 6 relatives and/or good friends who are suffering with cancer. The older I get...every bump on my skin, every pain in my organs...is met with trepidation and fear. The visits to the doctor become more frequent. The paranoia sets in. Where was this when I was in my 20's and 30's? It wasn't even a concern. Because back then? I was bulletproof. Nothing could hurt me. And all my friends and family were healthy as well.

All we are is flesh and bones. That get old. And break down. Then die. The older I get, the more I realize this. And so...every day becomes so much more valuable. So much more important. We live on a planet that is literally BILLIONS of years old. That's crazy! And yet..in my lifetime..we have been under the duress of regimes that have threatened the mere existence of human life on this planet...and still, today, that threat exists. Yeah, I'm talking about nuclear annihilation. You have this dipshit in North Korea doing his saber rattling...an event that seems so tired and worn out from those assholes. When will he realize that no one is afraid of him? One simple missile fired in the wrong direction, on the wrong day, at the wrong time...will mean the complete destruction of North Korea....and with it, the lives of a very small percentage of bad people....and a large percentage of completely innocent victims who just  begged their whole lives for a better existence. I don't know, I suppose you could argue that a lot of those people would prefer to be dead than live the lives they have been forced to endure under that regime.

I got a comment from...surprise! An anonymous poster. This person decides to take the time to tell me how self-centered I am because I talk about friends and family members who are sick and/or dying. And how I share my experiences of reaching out to help people. That by doing that...I am self-centered and seeking attention. That I should do all good deeds silently, or risk being someone who simply wants sympathy and recognition. This person claims to 'know me well' and doesn't want to post his/her name because they don't want to 'Incur the Wrath of the Monkey.' Interesting. They call me egotistical for writing about the things I write about. Once again...this leads me to the conclusion that people are a trip. So this person leaves me this comment as unsolicited 'advice' to 'help me' though they are skeptical I will 'understand it.'

It's funny. I read this comment this morning. Last night? Literally last night...I was reading a comment on someone's Facebook wall. This person was complaining about the pain associated with a certain affliction. This is a person that a lot of us in the poker 'community' know quite well. I sat looking at this latest comment...for a long (very long...like...think gas station lines in the times of the 1974 oil embargo) time...wanting, so bad to post a comment. I finally just decided to move on past that comment. Because really, what is the point? But what I was thinking about...were victims...lots and lots of victims. Who you never hear from. The parents who have lost their babies to sickness, accident or even terrorist acts. And I started thinking about my friends and family who are battling fatal illnesses. How they battle pain and suffering every day, and never so much as mention it. The example we can all look to, is the case of Mal Moore, Alabama's long time Athletic Director...who at 73 retired...and just 10 days later, died of cancer. No one had a clue. Just....50 years of service, and boom! Dead! I have a friend, a poker player...named Steven Marshall...who I'd known for many years, and had gotten to know incredibly well through Facebook. He was always so great for a debate, whether it be politics, religion, gun control, a wide range of topics. We didn't always agree, in fact, we disagreed a LOT...but the debates were always healthy. I always came away from them feeling like a better person, because he had conducted himself in a non-hostile fashion, simply pleading his case with passion and vigor, as I had. It gave me hope, that you could disagree with someone...yet come away respecting their opinion because of how they presented it.

Steven was married to a wonderful gal of Brazilian descent. Tatianna. I'd met her a few times, and thought the world of her. A little over a month ago...completely out of the blue...I received a message from Tatianna, telling me Steven had passed away. From cancer. I was stupefied. Stunned. Speechless. A guy, no older than me...who never, for even a second, let on that ANYTHING at all was wrong with him...who I had JUST been chatting with the week before, was suddenly....just dead. How is that possible? What do I say to her? What do you say to anyone in that situation? People tend to 'offer their prayers' which, I'm sorry...just strikes me as so cliche and patronizing...for a lack of something better to offer. I just wonder...of all those people who 'send their prayers' and who 'claim to be praying for them' what percentage actually are? Maybe that's mean of me to say...I just don't ever think (with some rare exceptions) that people telling you they are praying for you is very genuine. It's just (in my opinion) a very convenient catch-phrase to use to cut through that awkward silence or uneasiness that death or illness creates. Me? How do I handle it? I prefer to try very hard to say something nice about that person. To offer my support, as far as an ear, or a shoulder to cry on. Because there really is NOTHING you can say to make that person feel better. All you can do is be there for them. To listen. To understand.  Steven Marshall was a really, really good guy. A loving husband. And a friend to many. His courage in dealing with his illness was mind boggling. Not wanting anyone to know? Not making one sympathy-seeking post after another on Facebook? Just taking what God dealt to him like a man....and doing it with courage and dignity. How many of us can say that?

So...I guess when I continue to see this person's frequent posts about the condition they struggle with...it kind of irritates me. Because of people like Steve. Because of people like my lifelong friend of 25 years...and hero, Chad Brown...who took cancer...wrestled with it...and has been beating the shit out of it for two years now...while it still tries to win....all the while remaining upbeat, positive, and motivated to keep living life to the fullest. I think about guys like my buddy Clint Schafer...who was basically given a death sentence by doctors years ago when they found a tumor in his stomach...but who refused to go down. He also never broadcasted his condition. When I found out about it later....as I think, well, I know how I found out. I found out because of Chad. I was so scared for Chad, and hated how he was so freaking positive and upbeat about something so potentially fatal. I wanted to see Chad cry. To show vulnerability, just once! But he wouldn't. And as a friend, who cares about him...it pissed me off. But then Clint sent me a message, describing his own story...and I'm pretty sure he might have asked me not to tell everyone, and I apologize to him if I've used his story here to express my point. (though I have seen him make Facebook-wide statements declaring his battle over cancer in the past couple weeks) But he shared his story, and it hit me....Chad is doing what he HAS to do to beat this. Stay positive. Cancer feeds on negativity. Stay motivated and focused. And it showed me that, in life...a lot of 'issues' need to be dealt with the same way. Or you will lose. And maybe die.

Just two months ago...I was losing my mind. I was stressed. My marriage was struggling. I was questioning my own self worth. My rental house in Pensacola had sat vacant for 10 months....due to ridiculous sewage/septic issues with the city, and the fact I didn't happen to have $3000-$4000 laying around to remedy the problem. My property taxes were due. My football pools were all ending, and I was facing a shortfall of about $14,000 to cover them. My health was an issue...as depression and responsibilities around the house had sucked any spare energy I had to want to use to make a trip to the gym a few times a week. The side business that I have operated for 5 years had seen one of its worst years ever....and I won't lie, I was freaking out. 

I sat, brain-storming...trying to come up with ideas to rescue myself from this abyss...without having to turn to family for assistance. Which, in my world, with the pride I have, is always the last resort. I've basically been on my own and paid my own bills for 30 years...and there have been lean times, and some good times...but one thing, my bills have ALWAYS gotten paid. And now, with Carley Grace in my life...there is nothing I wouldn't do to make sure she is taken care of.  The thought of going out and getting what others refer to as a 'real job' was looming. But in Biloxi, what kind of a job was I going to walk into making the $4500-$5000 a month I need to support my family? Pfft...have you been to Biloxi? Those jobs simply don't exist for someone coming in off the street. And frankly, I wasn't crazy about being away from my baby 8 hours a day, coming home, spending a couple hours with her before she goes to bed...then doing it all over again. Screw that! Life...as I've colorfully illustrated in this ridiculously (I fear) blog entry today, is too short!

That is when the idea for the Poker Club on Pokerstars hit me. All these players longing for the return of the best poker site in the world. Some trying to play on the alternative sites like Lock and Bovada...and having (for the most part) miserable experiences. Most of those problems being the excessive wait time for payouts. I experienced it myself...having waited 6 weeks for a check...and currently on the 5th week of waiting for another payout on Lock. Well, I knew I could certainly offer better than THAT with my own club. And the idea was born, and quickly put into action. 100 members is the max on the Pokerstars Homegame clubs...and that was reached in only 4 days. The poker schedule itself has grown from about 4-6 tourneys a day to 14-20 per day. It is...a LOT of work. Having to stay on top of everyone's play...logging it in a spreadsheet daily. Hoping the numbers are accurate. Hoping the players show up to play. Dismayed when they don't. Overjoyed when they do. The feedback has been most tremendous. I have cycled through about 10 players, for various reasons. And I have about 15-20 players currently who just aren't playing enough to warrant keeping them in the club. I am aiming for a goal of 20-35 players average per tourney...and currently have about 12-20 average...which isn't bad considering only about 65 players are what I would deem 'regular players.' But imagine if I get another 35 players wanting to play 20-25 games a week or more? 

The structures I'm using are incredible. After just two weeks of playing the games in my club...I sat down one night and tried to play on Lock and was like....whoa! What the hell? All of a sudden it was a shove fest. We rarely have a tourney that ever devolves into a shove fest...which makes for some epic final table matches. I sat playing three-handed the other night for an hour and a half. Some players might hate that...but to me...its such incredible training for big main events...where you are almost always playing super deep when you get down to 5 or fewer players. 

Well, this poker club has really turned things around...for me, for Squirrel...for our family. My whole outlook on everything is better. I've stopped drinking Coke...and am drinking half a gallon to a gallon of water a day. I have more energy. I'm sleeping better. I just feel better. My property taxes have been paid. Just yesterday I got an estimate to do the work on my house in Pensacola....and for just $2300! Done! So a few days of yard work, and some touch up cleaning and painting inside...and I will have a new tenant over there! We have started taking Carley (for $65) to her incredible babysitter on Tuesdays and Fridays....so she has the chance to play all day, and play with other kids...Miss Pam has two or three others that she cares for...and with her house one big playground, they just LOVE IT there. So while Carley is playing, and growing as a child who gets to interact with other children, I get to run around town doing errands..or maybe just sleeping in and catching up on my sleep...or going to the gym!!! Me and Squirrel have been getting along so much better too. And I think she loves that we are doing this Poker club thing together...and that it's keeping me at HOME...and not out on the road, trying, usually unsuccessfully to capture that 'big score' that will make our lives easier. What I have now...is steady, reliable income. Sure...its not a LOT...but its enough to support her and Carley...and maybe put a little away for those rainy days. And if it is managed and grown properly...could be even more productive. Like I said, its a LOT of work...but being at home, and having the time to do it, and do it together with Cheryl, has made it a pleasure to do.

Reverting back a little in this post...to the anonymous person who somehow thinks they were 'doing me a favor' by telling me how I SHOULD act, WHAT I should write on my OWN blog, and how he/she thinks it makes me look? Listen...I'd maybe respect your comment if you signed your name to it, okay? But the fact you didn't? Makes you a coward. I don't respect the opinion of someone who hides behind it. I might write about some things you don't like,  or things that make you not like me. And you know what? That's fine. I don't rightly care. My goal in writing this blog, isn't to make people love me. It never has been. My family loves me. My wife and kid love me. My dogs love me. And I might have 5-10 friends who love me. That is plenty. My writing this blog? It's more therapeutic for me than anything. It makes ME feel better about ME. Sometimes. Perhaps you are just jealous? That I have a forum to express my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and views in that you WISH you had? Is that possible? Well, to suggest that I am egotistical based on what I share here? Illustrates just how little you know about human beings. It's silly to me to think that I'd somehow gain, in any way, from sharing stories about my sick and/or dying friends and family members. I share those stories because I am a human, sharing with what I hope are other humans. The things that make me laugh, that make me cry, that make me angry, or sad...I'm not afraid to share with those of you who read my blog. To use those words against me? Ah...it doesn't upset me. It just makes me sad that you are missing the true intent of those words. 

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I don't read many blogs. But one that I have gotten addicted to, just happens to appear on our website here at www.GulfCoastPoker.net and its the blog of Nolan Dalla, who works for Caesar's Entertainment...aka Harrah's....aka....the WSOP. And has for years. Nolan and I have always maintained a cordial relationship. He has been one of the rare people at Harrah's/Caesar's who I could sit down with and talk to regarding my 'issues' with that entity and come away feeling like there might be hope for the universe. He often mentioned to me that he enjoyed my blog immensely, which I found extremely unusual for someone working for 'them!' Then I discovered his blog. Whoa. It's like...everytime I read his blog...I am just hearing my own thoughts but coming from another mouth, and in much more articulate and at times colorful patterns. He has no fear of 'getting in the gutter' with his views on most things he writes about. It is brutally and pleasantly honest. If you like the stuff I write about...or my sense of humor, and sarcasm...you might want to do yourself a favor and check out his blog!!!   http://www.nolandalla.com/  Oh and...one nice thing about his blog? He updates it constantly...

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Anyone interested in becoming a member of my Pokerstars Tournament Series club...I have a waitlist...but am weeding through it to find members who want to  play on an active basis...so the line to get in might not be quite as long as it appears. Send me an email if you are interested in joining.
ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com

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Congratulations to the Louisville Cardinals on winning the National Title, and Rishi Kumar from Chicago for winning my March Madness Pool, and Kyle Henzel for winning my Sweet 16 Bracket Pool. I 'only' got 567 entries in my MM Pool and 229 entries in the Sweet 16 pool! My Masters Pool also just concluded. Congratulations to Dan Gordon for winning the Green Hoody! And how about Adam Scott winning that exciting sudden death playoff with dinosaur Angel Cabrera to become Australia's first-ever Masters Champion? Pretty cool. Congratulations to all my live tourney-grinding friends who have been out on the road in North Carolina, here in Biloxi at the IP and Beau...down in Florida at the Hard Rock, Borgata...and Foxwoods just to name a few, who have made nice scores! I've enjoyed sitting here at home reading your posts on Facebook and following your progress! Keep up the good work!


This seems like a good place to end this post. Sorry I've been away so long...for those who look for new posts that is. Who knows when I will post again...maybe when the mood just hits me!!

MONKEY

Sunday Blog...Great Week!!!

This has been a busy busy busy week!!! This March Madness thing just gets crazier every year...and I wouldn't have it any different! I just wish, for once...I would put together a bracket that had even an OUTSIDE SHOT at winning! But every year, things seem to go the same way! This year, its losses by Gonzaga, New Mexico, Georgetown and Kansas State that have derailed my hopes.

I got a record number of entries (again) this year...with 567 people jumping on board! Needless to say, this creates a LOT of clerical work for Senor Monkey!

Well, the invention of my Home Game on Pokerstars has been far more popular than I ever imagined it would be...and the even better news is that its only growing better day by day. The 100 members that Pokerstars allows you to have filled up in the first 4 days! I currently have 9 people on the waitlist wanting to get in...and since Pokerstars will only allow us to schedule a total of 10 games/tourneys per day...I have had to go ahead and open what I'm calling Monkey's Overflow Poker Club...which will give players currently in my club that are playing a LOT...and want even MORE action....to turn to for that. While also allowing in new players wanting to get into the Tournament Series Club. 

I've even gotten Squirrel involved...as she (by her own request...there was no pressure applied!) has taken over the duties as my Chief Operations Officer! She basically enters all the players' individual play for the day and tracks their points for the scoring. She is doing an awesome job!

As for the TLB (tournament leaderboard) standings? Well...at the risk of sounding like I'm bragging, I am kind of destroying it. I currently have 96.35 points....in 63 total games played, I have cashed 21 times (33% cash rate) with 6 wins, 9 2nd places, and 4 3rd places...along with very irritating 7 bubbles...which I also track for each player! The next closest in points is user 'TkeThmDwn' who has cashed 15% of the time...with 11 out of 73 games...for 58.09 points. Yes, I have a 38 point lead with 7 days left in the month. I like my chances of winning the TLB for the first month!!!  But I know there are about 5-10 really, really good players in our club, and they are sure to be gunning hard for me next month. They will surely be aided by the fact that I will most likely be going to South Florida to play in the WPT event at Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood. That should keep me from playing hardly anything for a good two weeks. Which is fine. I want my players to have the best playing experience as possible...and while I don't feel bad about dominating (especially ONLINE...where I have traditionally ran really shitty!) my poker club...I also don't feel comfortable with destroying them in the standings. One of members...'QuietWinner'...who is a player a lot of know pretty well...had an amazing day last week...winning, literally WINNING...six tourneys in ONE DAY!!! And got a 2nd place in the other one. He went from zero TLB pts...to being 3 pts behind me by the end of the day!!! 52pts to 49pts. He has gone a bit cold since that day....as he now sits in 3rd place with 52.16 points. I won't lie...I had pretty much resigned myself to 2nd place after watching him make that run last week!

So anyway...yeah, the Poker Club on Pokerstars? Is going great! And it's fun! It's so nice to be on Pokerstars' software again...its SO much nicer and easier to use than any other site. While the customer service options are a bit limited...its a site they put up for free afterall, where they make NO revenue off of it, so seriously, how much can we complain!!!???

Standing in line at Wal-Mart yesterday, and watching this big snafu with this lady trying to use a gift card to pay for her groceries...I came up with a pretty brilliant idea. Know how gift cards have gotten SO popular to give now? For birthdays, Christmas presents....whatever? How funny would it be to either be the Super Cool gift giver, or the Super Big Douchebag? I mean...obviously it would have to depend on who you are dealing with! But imagine buying like 10 gift cards for a bunch of people you can't stand...say, a bunch of people you work with...and writing $50 on the space for the amount...but really have the thing be worth .50! Imagine their reaction when they go to use that gift card! Hahahahahha!!!

OR: Say you fall into some money. Like...big time. Like...you win the lottery! Or the Main Event somewhere. Or that oil land you've had under lease with Hess for 7 years? Or...well...that should be enough examples, right? So you have a group of people you would like to do something nice for...but at the same time, you like to fuck with people. You like to hear what they are 'really' thinking of you. So...you go get them some giftcards....say 10 or 20 of them...and make each one for $25 (on the card itself) but you have really put $2500 on each card. You tell ONE person out of that group who you confide in...what you are doing, and why. Then get them to tell you which ones were doing the most grumbling about it when they thought your rich ass only gave them $25 despite being filthy rich now. Oh sure...they eventually find out....like when they go to Wal-Mart to buy what they think is $25 worth of groceries, then have the cashier hand them back the card while telling them their new balance on the card is $2476. Huh!??? OMG!  Yeah...who's the asshole now!???

Anyway...these are the things I think about when forced to have to sit idly by, waiting on something or another.

Like the other day when I pulled into the gas station to get gas. There was a guy in the first of three pumps. Question. Why not pull all the way up to the first pump when you see three available?  Whatever. So I go around him...and back into that 2nd pump. Not the 1st one...because I would like to give someone the chance to use that first one. Oh but wait. Here comes guy with dark tinted glass, $2000 rims, radio causing every window to vibrate...and rust all over the body of his Impala backing into that first spot. And does he think about leaving me with ANY room to get out? Naw. And the guy behind me has left and been replaced by another car who has given me no room to get out. So I sit there....and wait...all while looking at the guy with my 'how bout you move your piece of shit ghetto float, so I can leave this eardrum-torturing concert you've subjected me to' expression on my face. Didn't work. He just gave me the 'cool guy' nod while jamming to his, uh, tunes. Stupid needs to come with a penalty.

Me and Squirrel went to check out friend Oren's new sports bar in Ocean Springs the other day...just across the bridge from Biloxi. While the location is a bit tough to find...in the age of GPS and smart phones, nothing is that hard anymore. I was impressed. He has been open for less than a month...and has put together a great menu, and has a nice layout with plenty of TV's if you are looking for a place around here to grab a bite to eat, have a drink (yes they have booze, not just beer) and watch a game of your choice. He even whipped up a special plate of garlic mashed potatoes for Carley!!! I hope he does well...Oren has been a good friend to me and Squirrel for years now...having dealt poker at the Beau Rivage, and played plenty of poker with him as well., before going into business for himself in a couple of different ventures. And Oren told me to tell any of my blog readers that if they come by and tell him or one of the staff members THAT MONKEY SENT YOU!!! He will give you 10% off your meal. So go, if you get a chance, and check out BIG O's!!!!

My next trip? Poker wise? I am about 94.7% certain that I am going down to Seminole Hard Rock for the WPT event. Think I may have already mentioned that. I haven't decided whether or not I want to sell shares for that event...or just go for it, and play for 100% of myself. I am tempted to do that...since I just feel like I am due to make a good, sizable score. Plus the last time I was down there for that event, I did pretty good. I don't know...I will see how I feel this week.  Squirrel and I are taking Carley up north to her family's for the Easter weekend. She has a pretty dress to wear, and Cheryl has bought all the things for her Easter basket. It should be a lot of fun. I'm telling you...I had NO idea just how awesome being a Daddy was going to be. I mean, I had a hunch...but this kid? Jeeez...she makes me SO happy! Every day I wake up to her smiling face it just makes me glow inside. Which makes going on these 12-14 day poker trips super hard. I just love being here with her...watching her grow, and learn and develop the funny little personality that she is. It's so cool. And I just want to do EVERYTHING right by her...to give her the best life possible!

I probably have a lot more to talk about...but today is getting jammed up already....and our 'Big Tourney' is getting close to starting and I need to go out in the back yard and try to find my game face!!! Interpret that any way you choose!

MONKEY

March...Let the Madness Begin!!!

It's that time of year again...when baseball is just around the corner, the Masters is looming...with Tiger having just won a tournament last weekend, the NFL Draft is coming...after a slew of free agent moves and trades this week...and finally...March Madness starts next Thursday! And this year looks about as wide open as any in the past 20 years. I've been putting on a bracket pool now for 15 years...and not ONCE (despite my numerous entries) have I even cashed! But I sure keep on trying. Last year, I had a record 482 entries.Interested in getting into my March Madness Pool and any/all others? Email me at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com.  I also have just TWO fantasy baseball spots remaining in my awesome, 20-team league....just $350 per team. Live online Yahoo draft is Monday night the 25th.

The March Madness was one of the reasons I have/had for deciding to sit out the next two non-Caesar's owned WSOP events. There are a couple of other reasons. Recent run-bad at the last two WSOP events has probably cooled the desire to buy my shares. It would if I were the person buying shares. I also had a very hard time finding affordable lodging and airfare to the events in BlackHawk, Colorado and to Foxwoods after that.

Additionally, I finally got a response from the casino in Hammond, Indiana, the one at the heart of my ban from the WSOP events that Caesar's owns. I never received written documentation from them after I was booted in October. Anytime you get trespassed, they are supposed to notify you of this in writing. They didn't. Incidentally, after I posted a blog (and I happen to know that my detractor from the WSOP reads my blog) outlining my goals...that being, to secure enough points at the non-Caesar's owned events to qualify for the WSOP National Freeroll, and  getting the attention of the national media when they learned that I wasn't going to be allowed to play the event because of some total horseshit, railroading incident that had taken place in Hammond.....and yes, I know this is now a monster run-on sentence...I receive, all of a sudden...this letter (notice the date? Check the date on my blog that preceded it!) from the Horseshoe Hammond, a full 3 months after my letter to them, telling me...well, you have eyes, read for yourself. And oh...notice that the signature, from the Security Manager who I wrote to initially, is a STAMP!

Hmmm...sounds like a lot of thought went into that one, doesn't it. Wow! They convened an actual COMMITTEE of  people to discuss my fate! Isn't that flattering! Wonder if anyone else ever calls for/requires a PANEL of administrators to decide a person's fate? Interesting in all this...is that a friend (and share buyer of my poker trips) and 7-Star with Harrah's/Caesar's happened into a conversation with the guy who oversees all of the Southeast region for Caesar's...and when my name came up, he quickly replied that the GM (a woman I've never met or have knowledge of) of Hammond had told him and others that I had been totally crazy and out of control on my recent trip to Hammond. Anyone find this odd? I don't gamble on the floor. I didn't play any cash, albeit one 2-hr session where I was decompressing at a 1/2 table while waiting on my two roomies to bag up their chips. I played a total of 3 tourneys. I was there for FOUR days. Never had a sip of alcohol with the exception of ONE Coors Lite after wrapping up the win in the Mega satellite on Saturday, the same day I had busted the first huge event at around 5pm, min cashing, then buying right into the Mega. When, and where I was alleged to have 'gotten out of hand' is as big a mystery as how and why I was tossed in the first place.

There are some people in this world who are just plain stupid. They act stupid, they think stupid, and they DO stupid. No one ever has a problem fooling these people. They are always in trouble, but are too stupid to know why. You might think I'm one of these stupid people. Truth is, I'm not. I'm anything but. I am mostly a victim of my own past. And granted, I can't sit here and think I was doing anything WRONG back 5 years ago and beyond, when I went to the poker table looking to have fun. Talking a lot. Telling a lot of jokes, some that were appreciated, some that weren't. There was lots of sarcastic humor, some that was found to be offensive. I get it. I have 'one of those personalities' that you either GET or you DONT. And if you DONT...well, you became one of those people who had 'a problem' with me, and what I represented. By the time I decided to chill out...whether consciously or subconsciously, it was too late for some people.  What this recent bout with Mr. Caesar has caused me to do is look at things from a whole different perspective.

I have players, friends and family members who ask me every day: "Don't you think you could sue this guy? I mean...poker is how you make your living, and he is keeping you from doing that by coming up with these bogus 86's to keep you out!"  It's a tricky, tricky question. I have very little to defend myself with, other than some wonderful comments from fellow players and friends. They could say anything, for whatever reason. All they are is spoken statements, after all. I walk into court, and Mr. Caesar meets me head on with his 'report card' on Mr. Souther...which could be altered, exaggerated, and embellished to sound any number of ways. He could trot in all kinds of dealers and floor people, who may have been promised better shifts, more money and better trips to provide favorable testimony for the Home Planet. Then they have the old mantra that they like to hide behind. "We, as a private property and entity, reserve the right to refuse entry to any player we deem undesirable to our establishment or business." That alone, is probably all the weapons they need to blow me up in a courtroom. Not to mention the thousands they would be willing to spend on lawyers in the name of NOT letting this one rogue player win a landmark case against them.

I am not delusional.  As much as I know I am getting fucked? I also know that I have planted enough seeds over the years to allow them to grow whatever little fantasy tale they want into a much larger picture that would leave me looking like Public Enemy #1. It happens every day, in every walk of life. Rolling this around in my head...since I laid my eyes on that bullshit letter? A couple things came to mind. I think it might be time to write a book. Yeah...a poker book. But not one of THOSE poker books. Kind of a 'So You Want to be a Poker Pro?' or 'I took on the Poker Mafia...and Got Steamrolled.' Or...'Poker...a Game that even a Monkey can play!' For all the dealers, former or still employed, who have come to me and volunteered to give me 'major dirt' on certain poker honchos...for the simple reason that they hated them for screwing them over? I could fill a lot of pages with this kind of information. Why would I do this?

Well...since I've had Carley...I've come to the conclusion, that for the most part? Poker, and the people who run poker? I've pretty much lost ALL respect for a large majority of them. Oh, there are still some who I greatly admire, and I suspect they know who they are. But...I am sitting here being denied by a small number of people who simply have personality conflicts with me. I promote their products, I travel to their events, pay their insane fees to play their events, have always taken care of their staff members...and generally have a good repoire with most of the players. Them denying me access to their events? Who is it really hurting the most? I thought it was hurting me the most. I've changed my mind. I'm supposed to feel hurt when I'm not ALLOWED to go to an event, pay $80-$100 a night for a hotel room, play each and every event...and coughing up 20-30% juice on every event? Hilarious. That's like being pissed at the IRS when they write you a letter and tell you they are no longer going to allow you to pay income taxes because you made a mistake on your return the year before. See where I'm coming from? I mean, I know that is kind of crude analogy, and a bit obscure, but it's done to drive home my point. To be blunt? FUCK THEM.

And since I've been approached by people from Heartland Poker Tour, from WPT, from Venetian...and other events...all telling me they are happy to have me at their events, and hope I can attend them...why in the hell am I losing a shred of sleep because I can't go pay ridiculous fees to play the WSOP events? There is literally only THREE reasons why I even WANT to play WSOP events. (1)The chance to win BIG money, enough to get OUT of poker, in the summer events in Vegas (2) A chance to keep climbing the all-time circuit cashes leaderboard (3) a chance to win rings and bracelets and establish a legacy of some sorts, while opening doors to marketing opportunities. And yeah...those are all three pretty good reasons.

Remember this: Nothing lasts forever. That cute little letter that I got in the mail? I have no doubt that it was manufactured as the result of a phone call originating from the 702 area code and was designed to take the remaining wind out of my sails. And also to provide them with a legal leg to stand on in the event of a lawsuit. The clever folks at Hammond, who are already embroiled in a lawsuit with Paul Gibbons from an incident involving 'small print' on their structure sheet coming between him and a $50,000 car...aren't smart enough to figure shit out on their own...like sending me a letter after booting me telling me why, and what the trespass entailed. Nope, it took Mr. Caesar calling them from Vegas and 'coaching them up' as to how to handle the 'case against Mr. Souther.' Yeah...Mr. Caesar, I know you are reading this. I'm not stupid. I know how you operate. And why. I also know there are a lot of people within your tribe who aren't fond of you. Some of them I've talked to. Some I've just heard what they think of you. You won't be there forever. If fate has any kind of kindness, the WSOP will be sold, by a Caesar's company that is mired in debt, to ANY OTHER casino owner in the world (preferably NOT MGM!) and restaffed with people who are interested in the happiness of its players.

That day will come. That or the tiny leash that Mr. Caesar has been afforded by his handlers will finally snap. And while I'm off in my little world, being a father to Carley, operating my little side business, and dilly-dallying with other stuff, I will one day get a phone call telling me "Oh, hey, Monkey...by the way, welcome back to the WSOP!" The what? Oh...that poker thing? Great. Lovely. Thanks.

So wow...I didn't mean to get off on such a tangent there. This was supposed to be more about March, and all the wonderful things that March has to offer, like $1 Soft Serve Ice Cream at Burger King on a 67 degree sunny afternoon in Biloxi! 

Like taking Carley Grace to the park to feed all the various creatures...and watching her laugh. Like going with her and Squirrel to the greatest and most amazing birthday party I've ever seen...featuring amazing food, drink and games for kids and adults...and getting to watch Carley giggle and smile as she rode a train and a pony.

And most of all...this whole week has been consumed by the start up of my new venture...the club called Monkey's Tournament Poker Series on Pokerstars. In just the five days since it started, I have almost filled up all 100 spots available. We have 85 members, and in the first four days....the attendance in each event has been great. I am amazed at how seamless things are so far, and the feedback from everyone has been tremendous. One of the fun things about it...playing online against players you know really well, both as players and as people/friends...really adds a nice feature to it. I've found myself in spots where I make calls or re-raises because I know the player. In most online situations, its hard to to do that sometimes. If you are intetrested in getting into our club...there are only about 12 spots remaining, email me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com

On another note, regarding online poker...I got my first of two checks from Lock Poker. Admittedly, I haven't been playing on there much the last week...with the set up of my poker club, and playing in there most every night. I don't know if my check showed so fast after I emailed Jennifer Larson, CEO, asking how much longer (5 weeks and counting) I should expect my cashout to take, or not. I would like to think that didn't have anything to do with it. But it might have.  So yesterday morning...5 days after that email was sent...the FedEx person rang my doorbell and handed me the package containing my check from Lock Poker. Nice!

In all the years of selling Super Bowl Squares....I had never had anyone stiff me for more than one square. This year? I have a guy named Brett Rovner...who signed up for $925 worth of squares. He won a single square for $150. He owes me $775. He initially emails me telling me he was out of town...that he's sorry, didn't know he didn't pay, and thought he only owed me $350. I answer him...show him what he signed up for...tell him that he owes me $775...and to please pay...since I've already paid EVERY SINGLE WINNER of the squares, despite not having his money. Haven't heard back from the guy. Why? Who is this guy? Well, he went to George Hewlett High School in Hewlett, New York, currently resides in NYC, and is married to Stacey. Do you happen to know this guy? Is he dead? Suddenly in the last two weeks? In jail? Or is he just a fucking deadbeat, loser? Why are these people allowed to breathe? You see these kind of people all the time in poker. Borrow money, sell pieces of themselves (then win and take forever to pay the person)...and then screw the person over. I understand...we are in the gambling business, and we are going to come across some slimey-ass douchebags now and then. But why? Why do those scumbags have to exist in MY world? If you know Brett Rovner...put in a little word for 'ol Monkey. And if that doesn't work? Pull out a gun and fire a shell into his kneecap!

I had a dream last night that a private jet with the whole Kardashian clan, along with Kanye West...went down in the Florida Everglades...there were no survivors, but all of their bodies were found intact, as not even the alligators would have anything to do with them. 

Do you happen to live in or around Minneapolis/St Paul? Do you ever go there? Do you like watching women play professional hoops? Or even like the NBA's Timberwolves? My sister, who I have and have ALWAYS had a great relationship with...rarely asks me to do her any favors. Well, last year, she took a hiatus from her current job as the Athletic Director at her college in Wisconsin so she could go earn her Masters Degree from the University of Washington. She accomplished this...with honors. Well, this has led to a job with the WNBA's Minnesota Lynx in their Marketing Department. I am very proud of her...as I seem to be almost every time she does something. If any of you readers happen to be in that area...or plan to be, and want to attend a game...get ahold of my sister...tell her Monkey sent you...and I'm sure she will take care of you as much as she can.  Janae Magnuson is her name. Her office number is 612-673-8432. And her email address is magnuson@lynxbasketball.com
File that one away for later.

Okay....that is probably plenty of blogging for one day. Time to turn my attention to tonight's events at Monkey's Poker Club!!!

MONKEY