HELP SAVE a KITTY!

HELP SAVE a KITTY!
A BIG KITTY!!!! [click the logo]

www.gulfcoastpoker.net

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween!!!! And Hello November!

I'm a little shocked to see that I haven't blogged since Sept 18th. That's probably a record. I could blame it on not playing one single hand of poker in about 45 days. Or I could just blame it on being really busy with life! 

Since I last posted, I had a cancerous basal cell removed from my neck (skin cancer), had a procedure done on my back where they made some weird injection, the Giants won the World Series (again) despite an amazing postseason 'feel-good' story by the Royals  that was stopped just one win shy of the happy ending.  My mom seems to have conquered her bout  with breast cancer. Speaking of cancer, Percy Harvin got traded away from the Seahawks to the 1-7 NY Jets. 



Florida State is still unbeaten. They now have their starting running back under investigation to go along with the QB  who seems to just keep stepping in it. And Bama, after a loss to Ole Miss,  when they led by two td's going into the 4th quarter and just played 'not to lose' did just that...is rebounding nicely, and now pretty much controls their own destiny with big games coming up against LSU, Miss St. then Auburn...winning all three should either get them into  the SEC title game or the NCAA Playoff. It's going to be a VERY exciting month of November!

 Basketball season and hockey season have both started. I've got fantasy leagues for both...so that keeps me busy!

And finally...the thing I've been working really hard on for the past month...the website called Fantasy Draft...is just about ready to kick off. We've been BETA testing the site for the past three weeks...and we are set to go live, or play-for-pay, starting either THIS weekend...or next at the latest (probably). I've already signed up a ton of people under me...and am hoping that once it goes live, will sign up a lot more. I'm really excited about it. I was ushered in by one of the sites 14 Team Pros...who happen to all be pro poker players...and all are under Matt Savage, tourney director who most of you know by name if not personally. 

It's one of the coolest setups for a MLM aka 'pyramid' investment models I've ever seen...and the guys I've talked to about it who have a lot of experience with MLM's say this is very unique. They pay you for 6 levels/tiers of your 'down line' or people who sign up below you. Most business models gives you the most at the 1st level...then it gets less and less as the tree branches out. This one? Total opposite! It goes 10%, 10%, 15%, 15%, 20% and 30%....on the 6th tier. If you have a shred of common sense...you know what that means. If you get just 100 referrals under you...and even a few of those get 'after it' and get aggressive with it...you could have 1000's under you...with a large percentage of them in the Tier 5 and Tier 6 levels...earning you 20-30% of whatever action they generate! It's literally a possible life-changer.

Is it an idea that people are interested in? Pffffft! Hilarious! Uh...yeah...if you haven't noticed Fan Duel and Draft Kings? Yeah...these sites are getting like 90,000 entries every Sunday for a $27 contest that guarantees $1m to the winner! No kidding. A buddy of mine finished 6th (I think) a couple weeks ago and won $40,000. His TE dropped a few passes and had the QB overthrow him for an easy TD or he probably wins at LEAST 3rd and maybe higher. But yeah...this idea is currently on FIRE! People are tired I guess of the season-long fantasy leagues (I'm not!) and want to play one-day or one-week contests...where you simply pick a roster of 9 (for football-they have contests for EVERY sport) for that day or week and compete against other people's roster. Simple. 

Well...no one is making money off  of Fan Duel and Draft Kings (and all the others) except the owners of those sites. Fantasy Draft? The ones making all the money? The players themselves! So...that's all  I'm going to say about it...at the risk of coming off like an annoying car salesman! But you want in...click the link up there...should take you right to the sign up page and I'll get credit for you. Also? EMAIL ME...at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com and tell me you just joined up. I am keeping a spreadsheet of ALL my personal referrals,  and will be doing weekly freerolls and private contests just for those who signed up under me! I'm going to have a LOT of fun with this whole thing!

You all know how much I dig Nolan Dalla's  blog? I've mentioned it several times. Well,  he is the brains and creative mind behind the show, I  think it appears on CBS...called 'Poker Night in America.' I've kind of, in the back of my  mind...been wishing I'd get invited to appear on the show. But I didn't want to ask. Figured maybe someday my 'flamboyance and controversial' personality would appeal to someone. It's risky for sure. You have to bring your own bankroll, as its a cash game. And I don't typically fare too well  in cash game...but hey! I  know I'd have fun! And I'm pretty sure I'd be a lot more exciting to watch than most poker players I see on TV!!! Well, this morning, I got a message from a guy I won't name, asking if I'd be interested in appearing on the show when  it goes to Florida in December. Of course I responded that I'd be thrilled to! So  I'll let you know who that turns out!

Squirrel, Carley and I are right in the middle of moving. I tried to get a mortgage, that would allow me to buy the house we'd been renting the past 7 years. But since I file as a professional gambler, I  don't usually show much on paper...since I choose to use all  my  buyins and expenses to offset the tax burden. Well, I was told if I could just show about $40k annually, for two years....I could get a mortgage easily, since I have great debt to credit ration and have a credit score over 700. So that was good news. And since I always file late...I had yet to finalize my taxes for 2013. So...I told my landlord I would re-do my taxes for 2013...requiring me to cough up a healthy sum, and file the same way for 2014 as soon as  January arrives. Sounded like we might have had a deal in place. But then...they kept showing the house anyway...which, if you've ever been a tenant and had the owner trying to sell the house, is a REAL pain in the ass!!!! And Squirrel didn't do us any favors, leaving the house looking like a model home before every showing.

Well, lo and behold, the owner calls me on the16th and tells me they have a contract, and that we have 30 days to be out! Wow. Really!? Squirrel freaks out. But in the next couple days we managed to find a few houses real close to us that were all really nice. We settled on one that's only 3 miles from us, and we are in the middle of the moving process now. Claudia "The Claw" Crawford, who has been occupying our guest room, is coming with us, for a while at least...and she's been over there all week with Squirrel and a couple of their other friends painting all the rooms in the house. 

A LITTLE MORE LIKE THIS.....

A LOT LESS THAN THIS!!!!!

I guess everything worked out for the best. We will rent that house for only a year...then I will have our financing in place next fall, and we can buy something we actually like. In the mean time...we can pay off all the rest of our credit debt...which is getting pretty close to nothing! To me...that is exciting! Debt free just sounds like a fantasy!

I'm sure all of you shop at Wal-Mart right? I've never been real big on the self-checkout deal...it seems like it always hits a snag of some kind. Squirrel and I used it yesterday because all the other registers were backed up for days. And sure enough...snags...like four times. Real annoying. As I was standing there waiting our turn...it dawned on me. It seems like there is a way for people to shoplift using that method. Then it occurs to me that I often times see somewhat shady-looking people  in those lines. Hmmmm. Do you  think...maybe?

Speaking of Wal-Mart...Squirrel was there shopping back in August when I was home visiting my mother...and after I called her, and the phone was answered by our 10-year old almost sister to Carley...Abbey...I detected something very bizarre going on. "Abbey, what is going on? Why are you answering the phone? Where is Miss Squirrel?" There had been an accident. Black lady, no insurance, suspended license, and expired tags...was going the wrong way in the parking lot...sees Cheryl backing out of her spot...and decides to jam her car in reverse and try to get her parking spot....albeit by virtue of backing into it. (one of my favorite motorist moves-NOT!) Well Squirrel, not the most observant of drivers herself...does ONE head check...then backs out...the perfect storm occurs...and boom! Cops came. Lady clearly at fault. Cited. End of story right?

Nope. Get a letter from my insurance company a few weeks later. The lady seriously tried to file a claim against MY insurance company. Wow! So we had to go through the whole rigamarole of keeping that off my policy. I decided to get my car fixed. Wasn't going to at first...but then got annoyed. The body shop gave me an estimate of $950. Geico gave me one for $1400! And cut me a check for $900 in the driveway (minus  the $500 deductible) and I got  my whole back in repaired for fifty bucks! Had it done last week...while it was being repaired rented a 2015 Chevy Tahoe and fell in love with it.  There could be a new car coming to the Souther driveway soon. But it is nice to have two of  us  owning cars that are BOTH paid off and not having a car payment. We'll see what happens. No, that bitch didn't get her piece of shit car fixed at my expense. I love this society we live in now.

I have this little flip out compartment in my car where I hide/keep dollar bills for the valets and drive-thrus and stuff like that. A couple weeks ago...Squirrel decides not to lock my car...which she does a lot...despite my angst about it. Next morning...flip panel  is open...all my ones (about $120) are gone...and my loose change (about $10) is also gone. Nice. Real nice! Oh! But my $300 radar detector? Didn't touch it! Nice thieves. Meanwhile, my next door neighbor has a broken garage door, hasn't had it closed in 6 months...and not once has he had anything stolen from his garage. Strange.

There are those who think having a job is the only way to get ahead in life. Then there are those who think the best way is to make your own opportunities. Sure, you can make arguments for both. Me? I have this thing about  working for idiots...taking orders from morons. I can't do it. I don't have the tolerance for it. My wife? She is great at it. I have no idea how she does it. I just embrace the whole concept that we live in the land of opportunity, and as long as you have a little motivation, and some smarts...you can create your own ways to make a living. Why do I say this?

This is just one of many reasons why  I hate corporations, and question why anyone would ever want to work for one. We have a person we know...well, my wife does. He had been a long time, solid employee at this 'place' we all  know. Great work record. Well-liked. Just a very solid employee that any business would/should want to have working for them. This guy is a recovering alcoholic...and sometimes after work, deals with it by smoking a little weed...which by the way is legal in a few states now. And frankly...do we not think it will be legal nationwide within a few years?

Anyway...this guy is getting off work one night. He is pulling out of the parking garage at his place of work...and his car is barreled into by one of the valet parkers, totally the other guys' fault. Security for the property shows up. Information is exchanged. And then...per company policy, both drivers are ordered to take a urine/drug test for human resources. Well, this guy has THC in his system. And just like that...he's fired! Guy has a wife and three kids...and was already struggling to stay ahead as it was. Now he loses his job, loses his insurance...getting a reference now will be hard. All because some over-eager valet kid was speeding in the garage. Is this the company's fault? Are they the 'bad guy?' Well, this guy's immediate supervisor, who was  summoned to the garage, stood with that look on his face, that says "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening,  I wish I could do something to help you." I know this supervisor. He's a great guy. But not even he could do anything about it. Because it's a stupid corporate policy.  And now a family is thrown into chaos.

This is just ONE story. I've heard many. And when I had my last job ten years ago...for a big liquor distributor...I saw some of the dumbest shit, over and over. People getting suspended or fired for the most ridiculous things. And in this new PC (politically correct) world we live in now...it's even harder to tow the company line without mis-stepping. So  for those of you out there who are working for 'the man' you have my sincere sympathy. And I pray for all of you that you won't fall into one of these horrible, life-altering traps!

Well...it's Halloween...and my brother's 45th birthday. Carley is going trick-or-treating with her best friend Abbey tonight, and will be Queen Elsa from 'Frozen' along with a gazillion other kids in America tonight! Squirrel ordered it online...and Carley loves it of course. But today...she has a party at her school...and we didn't want to ruin her Elsa costume...so we bought her a 'backup' costume for school  today...and one for Squirrel and I...to wear to her party, and trick-or-treating tonight. I  shall be the Cookie Monster! And Squirrel is also a Bumble Bee! Carley loves riding the Bumble Bee ride at the fair..and when she saw the costume she went crazy. My little girl is growing up SO fast...and is getting so beautiful. I'm trying so  hard to  enjoy every second of her being a little girl...because I know I'm gonna blink and she's gonna be a teenager and I'm going to be in hell!



We discovered this neighborhood last year...wow! It's actually the  neighborhood where Abbey's grandmother lives...but it's like something you'd see in a movie. Two cop cars posted  at the entrance to the subdivision for protection. And everywhere you look...kids! People go all out to decorate their houses and yards. It's like one huge party. Lots of block parties. Well...we will be going back there again tonight! And even though Carley, as a lady bug last year was adorable...she didn't quite embrace the whole Halloween thing. Well...she sure has formed an addiction to 'shee shee' (candy) and I suspect tonight will be amazing for her!

Okay...well...there ya go! Just wanted to pop in, drop a post...and let you all know I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth!!!  Have a great weekend!

MONKEY

Thursday, September 18, 2014

IP Biloxi Wrap Up....

It's Thursday...and all the dust has settled, my sleep has been caught up on, and I've started with my personal trainer, in my  mission to lose 30-35 lbs before our family cruise in January!

All in all I'd say the WSOP-circuit event at IP could be viewed as a success, despite firing twice and not cashing in the Main Event...which was regrettable. But 4 cashes, including a 5th in the 6-Max (an event I'd never cashed before) and a 3rd in the 11th ring event...coupled with a 1 for 1 Mega record and a 4th in the only nightly I played...and it was the 2nd consecutive circuit event where I turned a profit! Woo Hoo!

Currently I sit in 5th place in the standings for the WSOP National Freeroll at the end of the season...something I won a seat in when they first started it four years ago. My 92.5 points have me in pretty good shape...what doesn't have me in good shape is that I'm still not allowed to play in Caesar's-owned properties. Hopefully, after the female dealer who started that mess, has had her letters received by all the various people who hold the power to rescind that 86, they will see fit to reinstate me to play at their casinos again.

In the meantime...I'm pretty sure I'm done playing tournaments for 2014. There really isn't anything I have any desire to go play...and with football season keeping me busy with my pools, and the holidays quickly approaching...there just isn't any real desire to go anywhere and be gone from home for a long time. I'd say I might play Choctaw in January..but that is the week our whole family is going on a Caribbean cruise, so that won't happen. Maybe the Bicycle Club event in LA and the next Palm Beach event...aside from that, no idea.

We are living in a 'house of stress' right now on the home front. Though I own my house in Pensacola that I rent out...we have been renting this house in Biloxi for the past 7 years. At $1250 a month...it irks me knowing how much money has been basically flushed down the toilet. Well, now  our landlords have decided they want to sell this house. They got it appraised and are listing  it for $125,000. They are offering us the 'amazing' price of $123,000....isn't that nice? For the $105,000 in rent they've collected from us, with ZERO missed or late payments..and we get a discount of $2000.  Well, I got my taxes back today...the 7th year in a row that I've filed as a Professional Gambler...and forwarded that info to the mortgage person I've been working with to  try and buy this place. Sorry...can't help you! Something about claiming $220,000 in winnings...but $170,000 in buy ins...with another bevy of deductions...leaving my overall taxable income being like $6500 or something...means they won't touch me. And Squirrel and her waitressing tips don't exactly put us over the top either. 

So I don't know what to do! I have the 20-25% to put down on it. Our credit scores are both around 700. But because of what we do...and what the idiot predatory lenders did to the housing market last decade...we are in the position of not being able to get a mortgage. So irritating. And rentals? Squirrel has been beating herself over the head searching for them the last month...finding nothing even CLOSE to desirable. I'm not sure what the options are. I was hoping to just win the Main Event at IP...and pay them cash for the house! Didn't pan out!

So...in that last event? Ha...first, when I was logging on here to make a new post, I saw I had a new comment. It told me that 'Mr Poker' from my previous post....had written a blog post about me on his 'Big Slick Academy' site...but which he took down after three days. That really bums me out. I was hoping to read it. Well...I am happy to report that his 'Big Slick' style of play blew up in his face. All those chips...and all Sean Hansen (his real name) could muster, was a 9th place finish. Prior to starting back, I pulled up everyone's names to view their career results. I was amused to see that 'Mr Big Slick Poker Guy' had a whopping five career cashes. That made sense.

Not sure where he developed his style, but I would argue that he'd read 'Kill Phil' by Blair Rodman about 20 times...where it's basically just hammered into your head that pushing all in, regardless of the situation is going to work 99.5%  of the time. And when it doesn't? And you get called? Pray! Well...I had a couple of spots where I was pretty sure I had the best hand...and he pulled that bullshit. The best hand I folded to his 3-bet shove was AcQc...which I'm 99.9% sure was ahead. But these final tables? Especially when I feel the table pretty much sucks? It's easier to just let the bad play weed it down to 3 or 4 then do whatever I can to win from there.

So that is what I did....and on a hand where there was a raise, and a re-raise, this fool shoves all in for an amount that was now, finally...a callable amount. So he got looked up by AQ this time...him holding Jack-Five. Well...he didn't get lucky...thank god...and he was gone, in 9th place.

Meanwhile...while that was going on...Quan Nguyen...who came to the final table with about 60% of the chips in play...was busy doubling up one short stack after another. I got into him a couple times myself. And finally...he shoved all in with A7 I think...and ran into the eventual winner's AA in the BB. Busto. 6th place. Wow. Granted...he had some bad luck...raising on the button with KK...getting shoved on by Kip Jones with AQ...who would flop an ace. But there were a lot of hands where he was just being overly aggressive when he didn't need to be. But this was the same guy that one of my buddy's was telling me was raising to 450 constantly in Level One of the Main Event when the blinds were 25/50. So aggression was kind of his middle name. 

Things were really starting to go my way...I was getting close to having the chip lead. We were down to three..and I was really starting to get that 'feeling' you get when you're about to win a tourney. My 2nd ring, my first in Hold Em (finally-after 4 2nd place finishes) a big 50 Freeroll  points that would put me in 2nd place overall...and a healthy score of $8300. 

HICCUP #1. Kip Jones raises on the button...and I call in the SB with QJ. Now Anthony Gray (who would later win) goes all in with 55. But he goes all in for about 12 BB's. This is where I think Kip really fucked up. Instead of just calling...and having me flat behind...we hopefully knock him out...and lock up 1st and 2nd place money. But no...he shoves all in with 33. I fold obviously...and Anthony nearly triples up. Had Kip done what I think is the right thing there...we bust Anthony...and get heads up. He cost me $1600. And possibly a chance at the win. And only got 2nd place anyway. So he might have hurt himself too.

HICCUP #2.  I raise Anthony in the SB with A-10 and get called by him in the BB with A-9. The flop comes A-9-9. I lead out. And he spaz shoves all in. And it wasn't a ton to call. I put him on either QJ...open ended...or K10...'El Diablo' which I'd be feeling pretty good about. I had to call. Ace nine? Wow. That was a bad hit....

HICCUP #3. The blinds were now out of control....I'd lost a couple more hands...and was 'down' to $120k at 6k/12k....10 BB's. Anthony raises on the button...and I have A5h in the BB...which at those levels..is gold. And since I really didn't have enough to three-bet...and didn't think flatting was a very smart move....I shoved. He snap called with QQ...ouch. But the flop brought two aces.....A-7-A....awesome...but three diamonds...and him holding the Q of diamonds. I'm just hoping to fade the diamond...but then he rivers a fucking queen. Gross. Nasty. Busto. 3rd place. Shit.

He then went on to beat Kip...collect his second ring of the circuit event...and lock up the Casino Champion title...securing his seat in the WSOP National Freeroll. Good for him. He was a nice guy...I'm glad he won.

I then walked over and watched my buddy Kai Landry play and get heads up in the....ahem...Ladies Event. You heard me. Kai played the ladies event. He even busted and rebought. It wasn't a big field...they only got  33 entries. And when Kai got heads up with who I'd coined 'Angry Joyce' because of an 'experience' I'd had with her a couple days before in the cash game...it was a scene out of a bizarro poker film. I had Nick and TK Miles there watching with me...and we were basically berating Kai the whole time...while the three ladies watching 'AJ' were rooting her on while also playfully berating Kai. Angry Joyce was tough because she basically had two moves...limp on the button or push all in. Weird. Kai had one beautiful suckout with A7c  versus A9...and me calling the river card of victory for Kai. But even after that massive double up...he couldn't seem to do what needed to be done to tame the Angry Joyce....and she walked away with the pendant.

I'm told by a few ladies, that had Kai won...he never would have made it  out of the parking garage with that pendant. Well, since I know he parked in valet...I  wonder if they had a backup plan for him!?? So yeah, that was funny...and the post I made of him pictured at the final table with Joyce on my Facebook got a lot of entertaining comments!

So poker is over for me for awhile. Thanks to the folks at IP for letting me come back and play. It was a fun week. They did another great job of running the events. The dealers also did a fine job. It was nice seeing and playing with a lot of  you I hadn't seen or played with in a long time. For those who I may have offended with my dry,  sarcastic sense of humor...I offer you my condolences for not being able to comprehend good comedy when you see it. 

MONKEY

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Main Event Dreams: Dead Bitter Bowl Hopes: Alive

So I'm waiting (37 minutes) for my car in valet last night at IP. The lobby is crawling with people in clothes that shock, confuse and amaze. Skin showing that should never be seen in the light of day. Two or three people are asleep and/or passed out in the chairs in the waiting area. In fairness, you could likely attribute this to alcohol or the excessive wait times in picking up your car in the slowest valet in America. 

Then there is this one guy. By most standards you'd consider him 'normal.' Until this: "Excuse me...where are you heading?" Huh? Are you talking to me? Yes...yes he was. Why are you asking me where I'm heading, I inquired? Oh...well...because, despite it being 2am...he claims he was supposed to have been picked up by a 'friend' at 12:00....PM! Like, yeah...14 hours ago. To travel to a town I'd never heard of 35 minutes north. 14 hours! Surely this guy was kidding? I ask the person in valet if this sounded right? "Oh...yeah...that guy has been sitting there for a long time." 

"Sir, I would love to help you...but I have a tremendous phobia of getting robbed and possibly killed....so I will have to say no. Good luck to you though."

I finally get my car...the midget in valet has once again left my seat pinned almost to my dashboard...and raised to the ceiling, so I spend the required time adjusting my seat so I can actually ENTER my car. Then on the way...turning left off of the freeway...this lady is literally in the middle of the intersection...like, she'd just STOPPED when she realized she'd run the red light. And since it was two lanes...and cars were going by me on the right, I couldn't even go around her. I sat looking at her...with that face...you know the one? That sort of....'what the fuck?' face? I felt bad for her...she looked panic stricken. I tried waving her to just go...but she wouldn't. It was awkward. I was so glad to finally get to my driveway,...where I sat for about 5 minutes thinking about my day.

I played Main Event Flight A...on a ticket I won in the Mega. At one point I doubled from 12k to 25k...then had a guy...who smelled (not making this up) like he had been soaked in old bourbon...rolled in animal feces, and decided to go play a poker tourney. In THREE minutes the entire table had their shirts up over their face. On his second hand...at 300/600...he moves all in with 97 offsuit. I happened to find KK on the button. I win. He leaves. And everyone at that table now has clothes that resemble Jerry Seinfeld's car after that trip through valet. For the fear of spores attaching themselves to my clothes...and spreading like ebola to my other clothes once I got home....I took off my clothes in the driveway, poured gasoline on them...and lit them on fire. I'll miss that t-shirt. And jeans. The greater good.

That put me at 40k. Then I raise with AK. I get called by the small blind. Flop comes KK5. Wow. He checks. I C-bet. He raises! What? Makes no sense. I'm thinking maybe K10 or KJ. This could be really nice...and get me to almost 75k. Turn is a 3. Now he bets 6k. Strange. I just call. The river is a deuce. He bets 8k. I think most players would have raised at some point in there. I'm glad I didn't. I just called. Pocket fives. Boat. Ugh. Gross. I then struggle and grind 10 bb's for about 3 or 4 levels..and sit thought a 90 minute dinner break. Come back...patiently grind...moving in a couple times to pick up the occasional 'round of M' to keep me afloat. Then down to 5 BB's...I shove Q10c UTG...and get called by Ryan Ennis with pocket tens. Nice hand sir. Whoa! Queen in the window! Followed by a 10! One-outer. And no queen would follow...I was out. And bummed. Was gonna play the 10pm $240 Mega...but then as I was about to register, noticed it was 10 minute levels. Super Turbo. A $240 that takes $50 in juice. Gives you only 3000 starting chips. Um...yeah, no thanks. I'd rather just go get a good night of sleep, and pay the full $1675. Which is what I did.

Came back good and refreshed. Squirrel had to work, and I'd managed to line up a babysitter, Carley's daycare teacher....or who WAS her teacher until next week, when they've decided to move her up to an advanced class. She is such a nice girl, and Carley loves her...so getting her to take Carley for the day was awesome. I drove her to meet Bobbi Sue and got to the IP about 45 minutes early. Weird feeling. Had a pretty good table draw. A few guys I know pretty well, Kris Kent, Nick (from Louisiana who's last name I always forget-great guy, solid player) and TK Miles. Then later that crazy Russian Dimitri would come to our table and talk everyone's ear off! 

I had a modest start....+2250 at the first break. But then, from there, it was kind of a brutal, torturous grind. I got down to 6100....when, with a raiser, and a re-raiser....and a call...I look at KK in the SB and shove all in, getting called by Nick with AK, while the guy with 10-10 folded. I held...and was back in business. That didn't last long. This goofy looking mutant...and if you play down here...you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about...shows up at our table, and I say "I hope you play as bad as the last guy who sat in that chair!" Oh...he did, and worse.

He was fond of limping. Very fond. He would donk off chips, then get lucky and chip back up. On one hand I raised with QQ. He called. The flop came K-4-4. He confusingly checked. I bet a normal c-bet amount. And he looks at his cards....makes a motion to fold...then does a 180 and shoves all in. WTF? Whatever...I fold. Well, I was so wanting to get rid of this guy. Ever just have a guy sit down...who you observe for awhile...and just KNOW...that this is gonna be the idiot who ruins you? And your chance to win a tourney that will let you buy a house? Something about this clown was screaming that...so I wanted to take every chance to bust him. My chance arrived.

He limps in for 1000. Two others call. I find 99 on the button. I make it 3200 to go. He sits there, blinking like an iguana and a hot desert boulder....I'm waiting for his tongue to flicker....then he all of a sudden goes all in for 18k. Makes no sense. The others fold. I decide to call..and he turns over AJ offsuit. Pffft. Nice move buddy. The dealer puts all rags on the flop. Nice. Turn. Nothing. One card away from having 27k and being in good shape. Whooops, sorry, Monkey....stupidity gets rewarded again...ace of hearts on the river. Two or three guys just look at me and shake their head. Kris Kent quips "Monkey, I've never seen someone get beat on the river as much as I've seen you lose on the river over the years. It's crazy!" Yes, Kris...it is, indeed, crazy. I was left with 2500 chips.

Those eventually went in with KJ...and I was called by the one guy (from Atlanta) who I hadn't seemed to be able to beat all day...who turned over AQ. At least I was live. He flopped two aces...and I was dead. Main Event...over. Shit. 

It's weird because for the past few years...I've run so lousy in prelim events...but then cash in almost all the Main Events....which, as noted earlier, is not a terrible thing. But this week? I've been kind of crushing the prelim events...but then get smoked with both bullets in the Main. Not something I'm proud of, or happy about.

So since it was 6:30....I had the chance to climb into Ring Event #11...a $365 tourney. Why not? I renamed it the Loser's Bracket's Bitter Bowl...consisting of mainly forlorn, saddened players who were no longer toiling in the Main Event. I sit down...and played like a maniac....opening super light...throwing bluffs left and right...floating with nothing and hitting. It was crazy. Then actually get a couple good hands and get paid off...before I knew it I  had 26k and was running over the table. Looked up and saw 86 players. Hmmm...this might be the easiest final table I ever make!

Then the shit hits the fan, And it all happened on one dealers' down. It was a whirlwind...flopping two pair...betting flop, betting turn...and getting rivered...by a flush, by a better two pair. Left, right, knee to the groin, punch to the head...gouged eye...I was battered and bloodied and now down to...yes...1600 chips! At 300/600. So much for waltzing to the final table. I wasn't even going to make the money!

Or was I? I shove all in with 9-10 on the button. Get called by A2 and BB's unknown hand. Flop comes K-2-5, two clubs. Ugh. When the small blind leads out I figured I was dead meat. BB folds. I see his hand...and thank him for betting the other guy out of the hand...then turn a nine, that holds! Boom! Triple up. I won't bore you with the rest....I went on a massive heater. Then get moved to a new table at 27 players...seated next to...we'll just call him Mr. Poker. 

Gawd I  wish I could show you a picture. But he wouldn't consent, like a lot of these other folks. Let me describe him. White with red trim wireless BOSE headphones...which had no music playing, mirrored amber colored shades, and a hat that identified him as a member of the Big Slick Poker Academy. This guy was the 'real deal.' Oh and he had 60k...which was likely more chips than he'd ever had in front of him in his life. He just kept feeding me chips. It was beautiful. All the while, he's talking about 'the game' as though he'd been doing it all his life. Now...all of this might be convincing unless you were/are someone who actually does do this a LOT...and is noticing all the 'little signs' that identify him as a newbie pretender. The dead, and final give away...was during the bag up...when he was utterly baffled as to how to carry out the whole process. This just gave me great joy. White sheet...DEALER. Yellow sheet...BAG! Pink sheet...YOU! Is it really THAT tough? What to write on bag? NAME/CHIP COUNT/TABLE ASSIGNMENT. Easy. Three things! OH...you can't figure out how to seal the bag? So...when exactly WILL you be teaching classes at the Big Slick Poker Academy? Dipshit.

But he wasn't even the biggest dipshit. No...that title goes to the 60+ year old hillbilly with the almost bald head...but pony tail going down to the middle of his back. See...tomorrow (actually today) there is a 12 noon $365 turbo event. Some of us (yeah me) are still competing for Casino Champion, yes, I'd definitely probably need a win...but I am at least within striking distance...and with only being able to play Non-Caesar's owned events for now...I only get a few chances to add to my current point total of 62.5 Freeroll points. So obviously I would like to have kept playing...as did everyone else. All the other tourneys have played til Level 15. But on the structure sheet...this event was reportedly only playing 12 levels. No one was liking that...and the floor guys let us all vote on it...willing to let us play 15 levels, and at the least, get into the money (12 players) and at best, make it down to the final table of 9. I was now in good shape with 44k. And I wanted to get as deep as possible. Who wants to come back with 17 players...5 away from the money?

Answer: No one! Except for Mr Barren Desert in the Front, Party in the Back. His rationale? "I played it knowing it would only play 12 levels...and that is what I'm sticking to." Ugh...sir, does it bother you that ALL 16 other players want to keep playing? That some people would like to play tomorrow's noon tourney? And also...did you notice that you only have 7 big blinds? He didn't care. I have a feeling this might be the first time he's ever bagged chips...and he just wanted that special thrill. Maybe he has a big 'rail' that will show up to watch him turn his 7 big blinds into an amazing title and WSOP glory capped with a $473 gold ring that he can show to all his friends at the Eagle's Club. Who knows. But we all left very pissed.

Oh...and incidentally...upon my departure from my Main Event table, I quipped to Kris, you know? The sad thing? Is that those chips he just took from me? Are just gonna get redistributed right back to you guys. Dead on. Went back over there on our first break in that 5pm tourney...and guess who was no longer at the table. Uh huh. That guy. The dream crusher. Never fails. 

So...here it is 12:42pm on Sunday....and as badly as I'd have liked to go in at noon and play that  $365 1-day Turbo...how smart would that be? The return time for us 17 players left in the Bitter Bowl is 3pm. How many chips, exactly, would I need to accumulate to feel comfortable walking away from to play the restart for Event 11? The answer is WAY TOO MANY...which isn't very likely, so instead of just setting $365 on fire, I elected to write a blog, play with Carley, watch some football, get caught up on all my pools...then go in fresh and dialed in to try and win my 2nd ring, rack up 50 pts, close out my IP event on a strong note and show a profit for this circuit event. 

Hope you are all having a good weekend. 

MONKEY

Friday, September 12, 2014

Today: Main Event WSOP-C at IP Biloxi

Before I write a blog I am greeted by the blog roll of Nolan Dalla...which just gets more and more intimidating every time I  sign in. The guy is simply amazing. I'm pretty sure he posts every day. EVERY DAY! And everything he writes is entertaining, informative and insightful. Makes me wonder why I'm wasting my time.

Then I read the comments that have been left. Today there was just one. Yesterday, Squirrel drove to Pensacola to join her girlfriends for a Miranda Lambert concert...leaving Carley home with me. We did the yard work together...her following me around like my shadow, gulping Gatorade (finished off with a big Ahhhh!) when I drank Gatorade. Then, once done...asked her 'ya wanna go eat chicken!??'  "Yeah!!!" So we headed to Buffalo Wild Wings. She was perfect! Did her coloring with the crayons and kids menu/coloring sheets...then devoured some cheese dip and a little chicken. Then we came home, took a bath, and watched 'Frozen' for the 837th time...the 'sing-a-long' version...in which Daddy leads the way with all the theatrics. She finally fell asleep! So I log on and see this comment: "You took sweet Carley to a bar to watch football! What is wrong with you Will!??"  Sigh. Yes...yes I did. I took her to a BAR! To watch football! We were there for 45 minutes. And I think I might have caught one play of the Steelers game. 

So I finally got my 4-scene ALS Ice Bucket Challenge video finished and posted. I promised to donate .50 for every 'like' that I  got on Facebook. So far it's somewhere around 150 likes. A lot of people, mostly in drought-stricken California, have been belly-aching about the Ice Bucket challenge, countering it with pictures of skinny African kids walking down dirt roads clinging to  their mothers and asking why we have to 'waste' water. This is about the dumbest counter-argument I've ever heard I think. In my case...just so it's disclosed, I bought 10 bags of ice, and 10 gallons of distilled water from Fred Meyer in Seattle...total cost: $36. As well as two orange buckets from Home Depot for $11. $47 was my total cost to try and raise awareness for a horribly debilitating disease. Here, for your viewing is the finished product. And I know...the audio sucks. Sorry.




I won't bother talking about ISIS, or former Raven Ray Rice, or Russian/Ukraine, or Ferguson, Missouri, or Joan Rivers and Betty White dying. Won't talk about how heartbroken I am at the guy in South Carolina who killed all five of his kids. Won't tell you how many people lost in the first week of my Survivor Pools (astronomical). Won't bring up the rant made by Gordon Hardy against the Pensacola Greyhound Poker room...pertaining mostly to the treatment of their players. I also won't get into the anniversary's of Hurricane Katrina or 9/11...and/or none of the conspiracy theories that are attached to the latter. You know? Like...what really happened to WTC building 7? I won't share with you how I was able  to see the very-hard-to-find beheading videos of our two journalists in Syria, or the discussions I've had with a member of ISIS on Twitter..just to gain perspective on how these people operate, and what is going on in their brain. (all very riveting). I will tell you how sick I am of over-dramatic Shepherd Smith of Fox News...and specifically his overuse (ad nauseam) of the expression 'boots-on-the-ground.'

I will talk about poker! For  the last few years, I've tended to run pretty bad in noon preliminaries, but then have cashed about 70% of the Main Events I've entered. I guess that could  be considered a 'good' thing. But what it's led to is making me want to skip the first week of most events...then show up at the end...and play the last three events...so I  don't drive myself crazy all week, kill my confidence, and go into the Main with a diminished state of mind.

Well, in the case of the IP Biloxi WSOP event...I'm on home turf...and with 35 points picked up in Palm Beach with the 6th place finish in the Main Event....I had no reason NOT to play every event that I can. Once upon a time I  used to cash about everything I  played at the IP. It's the place I  picked up my one and only WSOP circuit ring (in Omaha 8 or better in 2010-a great year!) and also where I got my first outright win in a decent sized tourney...winning the 50k guarantee on Halloween in 2008 I think. There have been some good memories there for sure. So I always kind of look forward to playing events there.

Since it's the day of the Main Event...you will be spared a lot of the histrionics of each tourney that  I've played this week...and will merely get an annotated summary. Event 1. $365. Oh...and every event has had about 125-150 entrants...very standard/typical for the events at the IP. I would love to  see it draw better...but it just never does. In fairness, the big event is/was going on at Borgata at the same time...and while I would love to be up there  playing for hundreds of thousands instead of 10's of thousands...it is nice to sleep in my own bed and be home. 

I got deep in the first event, made the money...and with 13 left...and getting excited about a final table in my first tourney back in three years....I have a guy limp at 1500/3000 with 57...and 37,000 in his stack. The SB calls. And I have KQh in the big blind and 38,500...seemed like a no-brainer. All in. The guy CALLS and tells me "You're definitely ahead...but I like this hand." I expect to see like A6 or something and NOT actually be ahead....when I see 57 I'm scratching my head. The flop is clean....and the turn brings me a flush draw...but also gives him a gutshot....he needs a non-heart 6 on the river. Six of spades. And I'm out. Unreal. I just shook my head in disgust, collected my measly $600  or so...and went home. 

Next event...another $365. I get deep again. And now...sitting on 136k with the average stack being 72k...I'm thinking there is no way I'm not making the final table in this one. At 1200/2400, this guy with 43,000 raises to 10,000 in early position. Huh!? Wow...but then I look  down at AA. Nice! And as I  look  down the table I see three short stacks. Seems like a really nice spot to just call and hope someone shoves. I flat. No one shoves, or calls. The flop comes J-3-7....one spade. "Well, I guess I'm going to give you the rest of my chips, he says." I hate it when they say crap like that. Expecting to see pocket jacks...but hopefully QQ....I call. He turns  over AK...of spades....about the best I  could hope to see. Then two spades roll off the deck....flush. Wow. Gross. Hit number one.

Then the same guy calls my AQ raise from UTG. The flop comes A-Q-10. Nice. He checks. I bet 7500. He shoves all in. WTF? Tough fold but I fold face up. He is grinning and shows KJ. Just the nuts. Wow...thanks for shoving all in and letting me off the hook sir. And now...I am down around average. No cakewalk today I guess. And to be honest...I don't even remember how I went out now....but I busted 14th...again for not much money. But it was 2 cashes  in two events...so that felt kind of good I suppose. And my points total was up to 42.5 in the National Freeroll. 

Next up...after busting that tourney....I played the 3-flight 5pm tourney...needing to bag that night because I'd been informed by Squirrel that I couldn't play on Saturday...needing to take care of Carley. Well, I played long and deep...but busted near the end...then went and played cash game...all night. Totally lost track of time...getting a call from Squirrel at 8am asking where the hell I was. Wow! 8am!?? How did that happen? Must have been one helluva Omaha game...one in which I was way  way stuck before rallying to get back most of my losses. Took Saturday off. And then Sunday as well.

Monday I was back for the 6-handed. I have never cashed in a 6-max. Ever. I'd bubbled one twice, and been close a few times...but never cashed. Until this week! I made the final table...and had a lot of people chirping about me being the favorite to win, given the lineup of players. I too liked my chances, but take nothing for granted. We went from 7  to 6 on the 3rd hand. Official final table now. But then we went for like 90 minutes before I eliminated the 6th place guy with my AK vs his 44...hitting a straight on him. And then....we played 5-handed for another eternity...and the structure started getting out of hand...which is what I was fearing. The coming of the Shove Fest! It arrived. And my 275k stack took the 'Big Hit' when the eventual winner, Rodney Sermons...raised on the button with A8...I found KK in the big blind and re-raised...but I guess not enough because he called. I led out on an ace-high flop....only to get called, and was probably done with the hand...until I turned a flush draw...I checked, and called his bet...which gave him two pair with the 8 of hearts. The river was a brick and I folded to his bet...frustrated. 



He raised a few hands later and I felt like KJ was probably a good hand to go with, so I did...and got called by his AQ. And the board ran out all rags...and I busted 5th. Bummer. $2700. But a small degree of satisfaction. They would  lose the next two players in 20 minutes. And the two heads up players only played about 20 more minutes. I was THAT close! 

Well...as soon as I busted I had 7 minutes to get into the $240 Mega Satellite. So I bought in. I gambled on the first hand...and tripled up. I would later get AA cracked by JJ and flop a straight only to lose to a guy going runner runner with just top pair for a boat...but still survived...and ended up winning the seat! Yahtzee! A savings of $1400!!!!

And once that was over? I had mere minutes to get into the $130 7pm nightly...AKA the Nightly Shit Show. I got into that....with like 5 big blinds...and continued my good run. I made the money at 8 players....and they allowed us to play on the 'Disco Final Table' which the IP puts together on a lighted stage...it's really cool...and it was my THIRD appearance that day on that stage! I ended up busting out 4th....losing with AJ to AQ....for another $700...and what ended up being a really decent day. Not a GREAT day...but a decent day for sure. And in the Freeroll race...I now have 67.5 points...good for 12th Nationally! So a good run in the Main could really be sweet!

Oh! For all those naysayers who wanted to criticize my selection of the Minions this summer? Yeah...well...you fools can suck it! BJ McBrayer got 2nd in the biggest event of this series so far for $27,000. He also cashed the Main Event  at the Beau Rivage last month...for another $15k. Josh Reichard? He's has only won a ring at this event...cashed a couple more...and is sitting in 2nd place for the race for Casino Champion. Yeah...a real slouch! Wild Bill Phillips hasn't gotten a chance to play every event...but the one he has played? He's gotten deep in them. And Kai Landry? Well...he has been too busy dealing with 'life issues' this week to come out and play. There are rumors floating around that we may see him for the Ladies Event on Sunday. So you BETTER respect Monkey's Minions...because they are doing work!!!! And as their 'handler' I too am holding my own!

Okay....time to go take a shower...then hopefully go keep this weeks 'run good' going! 

MONKEY

Friday, August 29, 2014

Breaking News: Is USC's new coach a Racist?

It's kind of interesting that I just wrote a rather lengthy piece on race, and its effects on our country and the people who reside in it. Then yesterday comes news that a USC player by the name of Anthony Brown (no relation to Michael as far as I know) has quit the team. Why? Because he claims that new (and former UW) coach Steve Sarkisian is a racist...and that he won't play for a man who is racist.



Now...I will be the first to admit, I heard this and immediately wanted to dismiss this as the angry ramblings of a kid who probably wasn't getting things to go his way early in the coach's tenure at USC. I'd never heard of such allegations while he was at Washington for the past 4 previous years...and from what  I could see, this was just a kid doing unspeakable damage to a coach's reputation, and possibly it's program.  I was ready to blow the whistle on this kid and flag him for illegal use of the 'Race Card.'

I may have reacted too soon. Who is Steve Sarkisian? Well, he is a man who played college football at BYU, and who was their starting QB. He later played a little pro ball in Canada before getting into coaching. Despite going to BYU...he is not Mormon, rather a Catholic, born of an Irish mom and an Armenian dad from Iran. He wound up as an assistant coach with USC during Pete Carroll's time at USC. Back in 2009 he took the head coaching position at Washington...at the ripe young age of 42. He took a Husky team that was 0-11 under Tyrone Willingham and turned it into a 5-7 team that following year...then ran off four years in a row of teams that went to bowl games...before being offered the job to return to USC as its head coach.



Last week...USC's Josh Shaw leaped from the third floor of an apt building near campus and sprained both his ankles. It was first reported that he did this while trying to save his cousin from drowning in the pool. It turned out to be a total lie. He was subsequently suspended from the team...and Los Angeles Police are investigating the possible claims of a man matching his description having robbed someone's apartment in that same building he jumped from. Despite Sarkisian expressing disappointment that Shaw would concoct this  story, he has left the door open for his return to the team. However...according to the latest reports, his fellow teammates have been quoted as saying they 'are done with him.' So I guess that pretty much seals his fate.

Also coming out in today's news...is a story that one of the leaders of USC's team has stated that Coach Sark has shown no signs of being a racist. And that everyone should ignore the player who  is making those allegations.

Okay. So...case closed right? Anthony Brown is just some bitter kid with an axe to grind so he decided to blow up the best way a black kid can against a white coach he is trying to hurt?

Whoa! Hold it a second. I want it known for the record...I was a big Sark fan while he was at Washington. I loved what he brought to Huskyville. He turned our program around. And when he left to coach USC I was disappointed, not mad...I understood that he had roots there, just kind of bummed. Well, all that sadness disappeared a few days later when it was announced that Chris Petersen had left Boise State to take the head job at Washington. It was a great day to be a Husky! And the loss of Sark was a distant memory. So this news I'm about to reveal? It has nothing to do with me being bitter about losing our  coach. None!

My sister...who herself played softball at Washington...was in a Master's Program last summer...one which we all attended her graduation and got to meet a lot of her class mates. This program was centered around Sports Management...and she had several people in her class who has been on the Husky football team. What she told me blew me away. 

"Oh...it's been known around campus now for several years that Sarkisian was thought of as a big racist. I had a guy in my class who gave me numerous examples of it...and he said it was widely known that he wasn't well liked by the black athletes."

So of course, when I asked "why wouldn't they have said something, then? I mean...if it's that bad...and the current culture being what it is now in our country...what were they afraid of?" Her response made sense. They were afraid of  losing their scholarship. Here was this coach who was revered for the turnaround he had performed at UW...which holds its football program sacred...and how was it going to look if some kid started screaming 'racist' about him? Probably the same thing that most people will do about this kid at USC. That he's just some punk ass jock not getting his way...and so he's going to the race card.

Wow! So...in defense of this kid Anthony Brown...and following the mantra that usually where there's smoke there's fire? Someone might want to send the Fire Marshall down to Los Angeles and check things out at the University of Southern Cal!


Okay then...just felt compelled to share this news...as I am now about  to take a shower then take my mother to the Mariners game tonight...where we are going to see King Felix attempt to pick up his 14th win against the NL's best team, the Washington Nationals tonight. I've picked up some juicy tickets 10 rows behind the Mariners dugout for $120 a pop....and expect that we might see the biggest crowd of the season so far!



I really need the Mariners to win at least 2 out of 3 from Washington this weekend, and a sweet would be great. I  have this poker dealer who will  be dealing the WSOP circuit event I'll be playing at this week talking crap on my boys...that they are  merely 'pretenders' who have no shot this year. Well, needless to say, I disagree! So losing 2 out of 3 at home to the last place Rangers wasn't exactly what I was looking forward to. We went to the only game they did win on Tuesday night. Before that...we went to four different locations around Seattle and had total strangers dump ice over our head for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge! It was a very exciting afternoon! Those four videos are currently being video-edited by a friend into what I hope will be one very entertaining clip that I will 'air' as soon as its ready!

Okay...time to go get ready! 

MONKEY


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Ferguson, MO...Race...and the Media. In 2014

As promised. Something was just eating at me to write something about this scene that has been going on in Missouri since August 9th. Then...after coming home to where I grew up as a kid, Seattle...it became oh so crystal clear to me. I know this is a poker blog. Sort of. I've been known to go off about a lot of things unrelated to poker. And one thing is for certain...I am acutely aware that there are those who are almost desperate it seems, to use my words against me any way they possibly can. So writing something that has to do with such a touchy subject could be considered 'taking a risk.'

I read a great post by a guy I have always respected and admired. A lot of you might know of him. If not, simply Google his name. Matt Russell. He lives in Houston. Is a fairly wealthy guy who owns businesses. He is married, is a good family man, has a lot of class...and when he plays poker (or blackjack) he puts a lot of chips in play! He made a comment on his Facebook wall...that more-or-less mirrored a couple I'd made...and his comment echoed precisely my feelings on this whole shitstorm in Ferguson. And to a 'T' neither one of our viewpoints had any kind of racial repercussion or bias or slant attached to it. See...neither one of us cared if Michael Brown was black...or white...Asian, Mexican, Jewish, Puerto Rican, Native American Indian...or from Mars. All we have been looking at, is pure and simply, the facts of the case, and the individuals involved.

There is one thing that I have grown up in this country realizing; when a black person commits a crime, and is on trial, he seems to almost always have the support of all the black populace. When a black guy runs for President...it doesn't matter his religion, his experience, his background, his nationality...nope...because he is black...they all vote for him. Pure and simple, they all stick together. Is that a bad thing? I guess it goes both ways. I can't profess to knowing what it feels like to live life as a black person. To do so would be foolish.

I grew up in a suburb of Seattle...then from 7 to 14 lived in Kalispell, Mt. You never, ever saw black people in Kalispell. The only ones I saw were on my TV. So obviously, you can imagine...I grew up in a culture that was completely devoid of racism. Even when I moved back to Seattle for my high school and college years...it was much the same. In fact...to be precise, if there was ANY tension among the races, it was the Asians who provided that. But as for black/white tension? It just wasn't there. The minority of those who went to my schools, they were all wonderful people who I always got along with. My teammates on all the sports teams I played on? We always got along and had each others backs. When I was young, and would watch movies like 'The Color Purple' or 'Mississippi Burning' I was outraged that people could be so mean to other people. Were people, white people, who lived in the South REALLY like that? 

Then in my early 20's I moved to NYC. The one thing about living in NYC? Everyone was there trying to get ahead. No one lives on a strip of land that small and has time to worry about the race of each other. Naw...if there was any racism going on...it was out in Queens, or Brooklyn...and it was usually between the Jews and the Blacks. During the time I lived there, Spike Lee made a movie, a couple actually. 'She's Gotta Have It' and 'Do the Right Thing.' Then a few years later came 'Jungle Fever.' What these movies explored was the racism that existed in Brooklyn...and the relationships between each side. During that time...I was in denial..insisting that it was Spike Lee's attempts to drive a wedge between the races...since I just didn't it. I saw him as an agitator. In retrospect, I think maybe I still do. See, I  think that nothing good ever comes from perpetuating a social condition like racism. Were blacks supposed to watch those movies and come out of the theaters feeling anything other than angst towards whites?

While I lived in NYC...a little black girl supposedly got raped...and had feces smeared all over her body. Her name was Tawana Brawley. The case divided the entire city of New York and all five boroughs. The man who would come to represent her was none other than the Reverend Al Sharpton. This was our first (but certainly not last) exposure to the man we all know quite well in 2014. In most people's eyes, including a lot of blacks themselves, he is nothing but a grandstanding, spotlight-seeking clown. As most of you probably know...the story that little Tawana spun for the cops and media turned out to be one big fat lie. Not that the lives of several police officers and their superiors weren't ruined. I will never forget that year in NYC. The marches, the riots. That was truly the first time in my life that I'd ever felt 'scared' to be white. Where I'd had to watch where I went at certain times of the day. 

In 1993 I moved to Atlanta, to open a bar in Buckhead with 6 of my friends. I'd never been to Atlanta before. It was kind of a weird place. Pretty much everything north of Downtown Atlanta was predominantly white. And the blacks who lived in that area were labeled 'yuppies.' Remember that term? Translation: They were younger blacks, mostly just out of college, with medium to high-paying jobs that dressed well, drove nice cars, and lived in nice houses. From Downtown south...it was nearly ALL black. And the houses were anything but nice. The first couple of years were great. Business was good, the clientele was great, and life was good.

Then a couple things happened. Bill Campbell won the race for Mayor. Campbell was black. Once that happened, the entire City Council was suddenly black. Almost overnight...they started offering all kinds of deals to 'Black-Owned Businesses.' You would walk around Atlanta and literally see signs in their window that proclaimed them to be 'Black Owned Business, and Proud.' Simple tasks like obtaining a building permit to build a 5x7 bar out on our patio became a mission in futility with the city. Inspections from the Health Department and the Fire Department began occurring much more frequently. I could see what was going on...and it made me sick. Then IT happened. During the Super Bowl in Atlanta in 2000...Ray Lewis and his posse were at one of the more popular clubs in Buckhead...just four doors away from our bar. Someone got stabbed and killed that night. The facts of the case and who actually got convicted have always been disputed ever since. The night club couldn't survive the negative publicity and ended up going out of business. 

Then, that spring...our beloved Mayor decided it would be a good idea to open the doors of the city to Black spring-breakers in an event that would be called 'Freaknik.' This was a disaster. Thousands of blacks...allegedly college students, but clearly never more than 30% students, or law-abiding citizens for that matter...would descend on the city for 5 or 6 years before the new Mayor finally put the kibosh on the disastrous annual event. But before that had been done...the entire demographic of the city had been turned on its head. It started with the rampant 'cruising' of Buckhead. There was never any desire to just park their cars, come in, and buy a drink or two. Because they didn't come with money in their pockets. Just a desire to come to Atlanta and get their freak on. Which apparently meant robbing, raping, vandalizing and murdering. Because that is what we saw every year. People all over Atlanta would pick that time of year to pack up and go on vacation. Which was great...until they returned to a home that had been ransacked.

What resulted was that all the bars in Buckhead gave up. How many times can a man in his 30's with a job making 50-60k a year and who is taking his girlfriend out on a date...pass three black punks on the sidewalk who start talking about how 'fine she is' and how she ought to get with a black guy instead of that chump...before eventually...they just quit going to Buckhead. It was like that every weekend....they would be all over the street...just wandering around...loitering...and slowly, the good customers just quit going there. END OF BUCKHEAD. So they moved to midtown...the bars that is. Then about two or three years later...the same thing happened there.  So then they migrated to 'The Highlands' which is//was a part of town frequented by the artsy folks, and gays. You know those kind of sections of town. Pretty much anyone can go there and  have a good time as long as they aren't too uptight. I even managed a bar/restaurant there for a little over a year.

My last couple of years in Atlanta were nothing but a struggle to find happiness. I'd grown up never having to be wary of the people around me. Now it was all around me. I'd go to the park to play pickup basketball...and sometimes I'd be the only white guy...and I had a hell of a time even getting on a team...and then when I did, would never get the ball passed to me. Why? Because I was white. It didn't matter where I went, or who I was dealing with...I was constantly trying to make friends with black people whenever the opportunity arose, and aside from a few exceptions, it just wasn't wanted. My friendship that is. The prevailing sentiment among most whites while I was living there was that the only racism that existed in Atlanta...was that of the blacks towards white people. After growing up the way I did, this gave me great disappointment. I spent most of my life feeling sorry for them based on the movies I'd seen and the books I'd read. Now, I was seeing things through a whole different set of eyes.

I always kind of thought that I would get to the South and discover that all the white people down there were complete hicks who you'd see walking around spewing all this racist trash talk. But that wasn't the case. At all. Which was a pleasant surprise. While we had that bar, we also opened one out in the Athens...of the same name. Again...no racism. Granted, in Athens, Ga...pretty much the only blacks you saw out there were athletes, and most of them were as cool as they come. I hosted a lot of the football players in my bar on a regular basis. 

Eventually I got fed up with Atlanta. That and I met Squirrel....who was living in Biloxi and working at the Beau Rivage. We'd been going back and forth to see each other for about 2 years...which was a pain in the ass. I finally took a job working in Pensacola as a liquor and wine rep for a big company. Bought a little house, that I still own (and rent out) and got the hell out of Atlanta. 

Now, living in Pensacola, and living in Atlanta? Night and day! That southerner who I always thought I'd encounter when I  moved to Atlanta? Oh...I found them...in Pensacola! And pretty much everywhere else throughout the south that isn't a major city. Granted, it's not the majority...by any stretch...but I was finally able to see where the stereotype had originated. And the blacks? Well...they were just as anti-white (if not more) as they were in Atlanta. But there was something different about living there. If you made a sincere effort to be their friend? They would be your friend. Something about people who don't live in big cities? I think they tend to be better people.  Sure...the race thing is always there...lingering, creating that haze of distrust...but I've always found in my experience, that if I am genuinely kind to a person of any race...that we can be friends. Just not in a big city like Atlanta...where they had drawn a line in the sand.

Is this blog getting a bit too long for you? Probably. Sorry. I moved to Biloxi a couple years later, quitting my job in 2004 and taking on the full-time profession of poker player. The folks who live in Biloxi aren't a whole lot different from those who live in Pensacola. The ratio of black to white is about the same. 

Am I biased? Are there people I don't like for what, or who they are? Yeah...I won't lie. I don't like whites who do too much meth. Who don't bath. Who dress like bums. Who don't brush their teeth. Who beat their kids. Who steal. Who kill. Who are just straight up ignorant. Yeah...I don't like those people.  Oh...incidentally? Those things I mentioned? I  also don't like black people who exhibit those same traits. Or Asians. Or Latinos. Or Indians. Pretty much anything that makes them a deplorable human being? Yeah...those things make me not like them. I don't care about their race. No one can help their race...they are who they were born as. I think a lot of you feel me. And maybe agree with me. It's not fair that whites aren't allowed to say "I have a lot of friends that are black" without getting ridiculed. Why!??? I mean...if you really DO have a lot of friends that ARE black...then that should be some kind of a reflection on your character that race isn't a big deal to you. Right? But for some reason...it's something that when a white person is heard saying it, they are ripped to shreds. Pretty fucked up as far as I'm concerned.

Now then. Let's talk about Ferguson. The other day...while my mother was laying in her hospital bed recovering from her double mastectomy...which by the way went GREAT, and my mother is at home recovering quite successfully...we were visited by a good friend of ours, who is cop with the City of Seattle. Ah ha! Perfect! Because something had been really bugging me ever since not just this thing with Michael Brown went down...but also the shooting of the knife-wielding, soda-stealing kid a few days later. I've been doing a lot of internet surfing lately where cops and excessive use of force is concerned. I don't know about you guys...but I'm white, and I have had plenty of incidents over the years where my rights were more than violated by aggressive cops. So it's not like I'm a big fan of the people who have taken an oath to serve and protect us citizens. I'm of the opinion that there are a rather large number of cops that became cops because they were drawn to the power that the badge and gun represent. 

I wanted to know why it is that cops need to fill suspects full of bullets when simply wounding them and disarming them would solve the problem. Well, I guess I got my answer. I simply asked: "Is it not possible to shoot for their leg or arm...and disable them...then apprehend them?" The answer was a very matter-of-fact "NO!" We've all seen way too many movies I guess...you know the one...where the cop shoots the gun out of the guy's hand...then sweeps his legs, and cuffs him? Yeah...no! That's Hollywood. I was told that they are instructed to shoot for 'center mass.'  So I asked my next question. "The guy with the knife was like 6 or 7 feet away from them...there were two cops, both had gotten out of the car and were standing behind their car door...yelling at him to drop the knife. When he didn't...they shot him about 8 times. Is that not a blatant use of excessive force?"
NOPE! Department regulations state that if a suspect is inside of 21 feet...yeah...TWENTY ONE...and ignoring the request/demand by the police to release their weapon, they are determined by law to be under duress...and are permitted to use deadly force. I was shocked to hear that.

My last question...and this came from watching the cell phone-recorded movie shot from a bystander...was why on Earth they felt it necessary to cuff the guy after he'd been shot 8-10 times and was clearly dead.

The reason? And after asking this...our police friend was nodding as I said it...I was told that it is department policy to always cuff a suspect even after being shot...because apparently, the body has been known to do some pretty weird things after its been shot. Like suddenly getting some weird burst of adrenalin, and going berserk before they fade off for good. So yeah...cuffing them is standard operating procedure. Interesting.

So after this conversation, I came away feeling like the cops did everything by the book, and that there will never be a trial for Darren Wilson. Unless of course, King Barack has sent down the message via his idiot AG Eric Holder...that Mr. Wilson is going to be offered up as a sacrificial lamb to placate the community of Ferguson. And this? This is the part that infuriates me. Not even the appearance of the useless Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Not the Black Panthers showing up to get everyone whipped into a frenzy. 

No, the thing that pisses me off? 1000's of blacks are killed every day in America. Mostly by fellow blacks. Small children killed in drive-bys by errant bullets. Numerous innocent victims killed for no good reason. But where is the outcry for those people? Where are the marches, the riots? Just this week, there have been several instances of whites killed by blacks...one where a black cop killed a white kid. Did you see any riots? Any marches? Did anyone burn down businesses in their own neighborhoods? No. Why? Because level-headed people don't act like that. They exercise patience, they don't ignore it...they are watching, but they are watching with patience...to see what the justice system does. The wheels of justice in the United States are a slow moving machine. Anyone with half a brain knows this. 

These people in Ferguson have literally made DEMANDS of the City/State government there...as if they are in a position of negotiating. What they are calling for, basically, is the head of Darren Wilson. What is this? 1215? Anyone got a copy of the Magna Carta lying around? It is absolutely absurd the scene that has transpired in that town. And the media? Whoa...you've got to be kidding me. It's become such a BUSINESS the past two decades that it has turned the news industry into a sham. Here we are...with Russia basically invading Ukraine, Israel and Hamas lobbing rockets and bullets at each other, Syria in Civil War, and ISIS murdering women and children in the most inhumane of ways...and all the men...because they aren't Muslims. Oh and in case everyone forgot...a plane was simply blown from the sky a little over a month ago...for no good damn reason. But where are the big news teams all assembled? In Ferguson fucking Missouri! Why? Because racism sells! We all remember the OJ trial...the most-watched news event of all time. That trial basically MADE CNN! I won't get too deep into this...but their ad time rates during that trial more than quadrupled while that trial was going on. 

We all remember the ridiculous round-the-clock coverage of Trayvon and George...it was so annoying it should have just been turned into a reality show. We all knew (well, those of us with a brain and a simple understanding of law) how that trial was going to end up. But that didn't stop the nonstop coverage did it? 

I hate what this country is becoming. There seems to be a secret desire to ignite a race war in this country. The media simply preys on situations like these. I just picture a dead wildebeest out on the African plain and a bunch of jackals and hyenas feasting on it...blood smeared all over their faces...devouring the dead beast. And the more they bang the drum...the more the irrational citizens come out of their homes, take to the streets, and make it worse. Mark my word...if the news crews all just picked up and LEFT that town? The riots and marching would have ceased to exist. But they don't. They just keep feeding on the victim.

And about the victim himself? I don't even think it's really necessary to delve into that. That's not what this about. Yeah, I'm sick of cops on power trips. I'm sick of people who have no respect for authority, who talk back to cops and get themselves shot...then set off rioting in their communities. I'm sick of people who think they are above the law. Did Michael Brown get murdered? Or did he get shot because of his actions? I have my theories, as I'm sure a lot of you do. But our theories don't matter do they? If...and that's a big IF...the grand jury thinks there is enough evidence to even bring this cop to trial....then we will let a jury of 12 decide what happened on August 9th, correct?

So what 'tripped my wire' about all this? The day my mom was in surgery, my sister and I left the hospital and drove down to Pike Place Market to buy her some flowers. Her surgery was four hours so we had some time to work with. It was game day...for the Seahawks (preseason game) and everywhere...people were decked out in their Seahawks schwag. All kinds of people...white, black, Asian, Mexican, Indian....Americans, Europeans...just a huge cross section of people. Most of them with some kind of Seahawk item on. It was a beautiful sunny day. Almost everyone had a smile on their face. I accidentally bumped into a black man. He immediately said "Excuse me, I'm sorry." To which I replied..."Hey, no problem!" That same thing happens in Biloxi...or any other number of places in the south...and it rarely goes that way. There is usually a dirty look attached to the other person...sometimes maybe even a "yo man! Why don't you watch where your walking!"

Then it dawned on me. Wow! Nothing has changed since I left Seattle. And this summer...when I went to Lake Tahoe with the family? Same deal there. Same deal in Vegas. Pretty much the same thing everywhere west of Texas, to be honest. What is the problem in the south? I know...for a fact...that it isn't a one-way street. And for anyone to suggest as much is a moron. Neither side is innocent. But I think...and this is only my opinion, that one side is trying a lot harder to make things good between the races than the other. I get real tired of playing online poker...and someone from some other place in the world seeing that I live in Biloxi, Mississippi and the first thing out of their mouth being...oh...you must wear a white hood and burn crosses on lawns for a hobby. I feel very strongly that there are a whole lot more blacks that have a problem with whites in the south than there are whites who are have an axe to grind.

So as I'm walking around the Pike Place Market...this wacky thought occurs to me. Hmmm....what IF? What if, for a whole week...we took ALL the whites in the south...and swapped places with all the whites in Seattle? Let them both live a week in each others shoes. And then...the following week? Do the exact opposite experience. Oh! I know what you're saying....so I'll stop you! Yes, you would be exposing all the same people to each other both weeks. Right? Well, yes...that is correct. However...you would also be introducing all four groups of people to totally different living conditions. Think about it. How would they get along? Would the experience open their eyes?  Would it change them? What if we could bring all the black people in Ferguson, MO to Seattle for a week and let them simply exist in this environment? 

This might all be a little deep for some of you. Or maybe you just aren't understanding what I'm trying to convey. Or hell...maybe I've even started to talk in circles. I'm not even sure there is ONE PRIMARY POINT that I'm trying to make. I guess I just want to see our country, and our world, become a much better place before my 2 year old daughter gets old enough to realize just how fucked up it currently is. And god forbid there is ever a race war in this country....I'm packing up the car, putting my girls in, and driving to Montana...pitching a tent, and living off the land til all the crazies work out their differences. 

And now....I'm going to bed!

MONKEY