Monday, April 20, 2015

Time to Assemble The Minions!!!

It's Mid-April. March Madness is over. I've paid all my pool winners. I'm still owed about $5000...so like the IRS....it's 'collection month!' The NBA playoffs have started (don't care), the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs have begun (ALL I care about, GO RANGERS!), the Masters has a new 21-year old champ, baseball is in full swing...I actually have a fantasy team that might just compete this season...and in poker? We have almost come to that time of year when the migration to Vegas starts.

And with that...the 2nd Annual March of Monkey's Minions to the desert to chase the millions and millions in dead money. Sure...some of you might have anticipated me only making this a very Kentucky/Duke-like 'One and Done' for Senor Monkey...and that because my 'crew' went oh for four last summer, that I would fold up my tent and call it a day. Pfffffft...you, my friend...would be wrong! For starters, the large contingent of contributors/stakers/sponsors from last summer are only too eager to jump on board again. And as for players? Well...there is NEVER a shortage of players wanting that shot at the $10m first prize...or at least a share of it, and the attention that comes with it. (some would call it fame-personally I'd finish 2nd place every year if given the choice)

Who will be this year's Minions? How many will make the trek? Will I get some fancy hats and t-shirts made for them this year? Will I be driving in the dead of night to meet one of the minions with $40,000 in cash...with which to climb on a plane to Vegas in hours...to meet up with the other 3 Minions at the registration counter hours later at the Rio? Or will I actually get this show all nice and pre-packaged with ample time to spare, and prepare? That is for sure what I am going for this year. Hell, I don't even KNOW when I started this little campaign last year. But I do know that I WILL do everything to have our 'horses' locked up  and ready to roll by the middle of JUNE...so that gives me roughly 60 days to make it happen.

Candidates? I already have one person in mind. That is all I will say. If you think you have the RIGHT STUFF to March with the Minions in Vegas....simply email me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com and tell me why my backing group should hitch their wagon to you. Generally, I make the final decisions on who goes...but don't think the decision isn't made without consulting the prime contributors within the group. I mean, at the end of the day...our main objective is to send players who we feel are HUNGRY...SKILLED...and READY....for greatness! Guys/gals who are fun to root for, likeable, who communicate with the group through Twitter/Facebook, who maybe have a following of friends and family we can all 'get with.'  So....get your 'applications' in...and I will have get this ball rolling ASAP!

As for me, and my poker? It's been rather limited. I've been having a REAL fun time playing on Bovada lately. And by fun, I mean...are you fucking kidding me? It's a joke. Nothing holds. AA and KK might as well be 3-9 and 2-8 offsuit. When I think they have nothing,  they have the nuts. When I think they have the nuts, they have nothing. When I make the hero call...and briefly celebrate my 'amazing poker vision' I watch as the next card or two give them whatever they need to emerge victorious. The only good news is that I'm playing small stakes, due to my inconsistent, aggravating internet connection. So I'm not losing a lot when I'm losing . It's not about the money I'm losing...it's simply the losing.

Recently, I participated in the event that they had at the IP...which, if I had to guess, might be their last. If you didn't think things could get worse at the IP...well, you were wrong. The turnout for the WPT Deepstacks event was putrid....and if it hadn't been for open rebuys until Level 9 in a lot of the events...it would have been downright embarrassing. I had a min cash early...yeah, 6th place was a min cash! I followed that up with two consecutive bubbles..finishing 7th two days in a row. I can't even find a reason to dredge up the memories of that event, since most of the poker planet barely realizes it even occurred. I won enough in cash game during my down time to make the week almost break even...which is about what happened at my last event up in St Louis. At least at this event I didn't stake anyone....oh well, unless you consider the staking shots I again took on 'The Claw' across the street at the Beau during the same time period. And no...those didn't turn up anything either. My current record on staking in 2015 is ....well, there is nothing to report. 

I don't know how to explain what the hell is going on in poker. The way events are being scheduled? The lack of marketing? The over-saturation of events at a time when there seems to be a real decline in the popularity of poker? Well...maybe not. Tell that to the folks up in Cherokee, North Carolina...who just got a turnout of almost 1500 for their SENIOR'S event this week! That's one place I'd like to go and play. I'm patient. I'm not going anywhere. And I've got plenty to keep me busy...being a daddy, being a husband...and keeping the home fires burning...while Harrah's/Caesar's falls further and further in debt, and the people who've decided I need to be blacklisted for whatever reason continue to see their jobs endangered. Where I once felt this sense of urgency to right the wrongs that have been done to me...I can kick back and laugh about it now. The pettiness of people, the politics employed by people who think  they are a lot bigger and a lot more important to this world than they really are. This is a mentality that seems to reign supreme in the poker world. 

I'm doing something very exciting at 3pm today. It only took about 4 months to get approved by my damn insurance company. While working with my personal trainer this past fall...I did something real bad to my left shoulder. I knew it when it happened. But my insurance company...acting like they were the  company in 'Erin Brockovich' decided to just stamp DENY on my doctor's request to stuff me in the MRI tube to see what was going on in there. 'GO GET XRAYS' and 'GO GET PHYSICAL THERAPY' was their response! Ha! Okay! Geniuses! Get an X-Ray on something that all parties (patient/doctor) can easily agree is muscular or tendon related. Yeah we did that, I spent that wasted money...to find exactly what we knew we'd find. Nothing! And PT? Um...did you happen to comprehend that I incurred this injury while DOING physical therapy, basically!??? Back and forth we went with these clowns for months...until finally...it got approved.

My doctor comes into the room...."Did you used to play hockey or something?" Yeah...why? "Because your shoulder is a mess. You're right shoulder is perfect...but your left shoulder? Guessing that's the one you lead with a lot? You have lots of arthritis in there, and swelling in your bursa sac (bursitis) and strained tendons in four different spots." Marvelous. Nothing that requires surgery...which is good, I guess? No torn rotator cuff...which is a nightmare to rehab after surgery. So what he recommended was steroid injections in the shoulder. I had that done to my knees about a year ago...both of them, and (knock on wood) I've never had LESS issues with my knees than I have this past year! So today...at 3:00...I'm off to take the needle. I hate needles...but I am REALLY looking forward to this one!!!

I'm gonna make this short because I have a lot of errands to go run...but I really just wanted to get this Minions announcement out there!