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Friday, November 28, 2008

Back in Biloxi

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Back at home and hanging out on my favorite couch, about to watch three pretty garbage games. Can Detroit dodge the O-fer? Can my Seahawks lose YET another game in this season from hell? Can Kurt Warner put another 60pts up for me in my fantasy league against the Eagles? These are the important questions today. When Rooster comes over to eat with us...will he finally take some of his 'ALL IN' bottled water that we got out in Vegas this summer? Now that Squirrel has drank her way through about half of the 32 cases!??

Its that time of year when we are supposed to kick back and think of the things we are thankful for. Sometimes, you really have to scratch your head. I'm thankful that Cheryl finally learned how to cook. I'm thankful for airplanes. I'm thankful for the manipulation of the world oil market that has seen gas plummet to $1.75 a gallon and has OPEC freaking out! I'm thankful for discovering Vince Flynn's novels...locked up now in the newest, EXTREME MEASURES. Great stuff, cuts SO close to the current situation in our behind-the-scenes CIA dealings with terrorism. I'm thankful for my dogs. Not thankful for all the freaking VET bills this year. I'm thankful for having the greatest backer a poker player could ever want. I'm thankful for iPods. I'm thankful that my UW HUSKIES finally fired Ty Willingham. I'm also loving it that the Seattle Sonics/Oklahoma City Rapists are now 1-13! Detroit fumbled on their first possession and are about to get scored on. Andddd the slaughter begins. Touchdown. Chris Johnson.

The Main Event at the Venetian did not go so good. I started out with 20K in chips...which was a lot. Played a lot of small ball early. Not a lot of raising. Lots of limping in, looking to make a big strike. The one time I did raise....I picked up KK behind 7 limpers for 100. I made it 750 to go. I get FOUR callers. Unreal. Flop comes 10-7-3. Checks to me. I bet 1850. ONE guy calls. Think he was like Pakistani or something. I'm not sure. I did take his picture after the hand. Gives you some idea of where this is going. Next card is an A. Fuck. That slowed me down. I check. He checks. WTF? River is a J. I value (>>????<<<) bet it, I think for 1300. He calls. Jack freaking ten. And I simmer for about an hour. I hover around 13K forever. Then finally I get some traction and chip up to about 18K. Then this pattern develops. They move a new guy to our table. He proceeds to get into a screaming match with the floor guy. It was a weird deal. he was in the SB. On a hand where there was a lot in the pot, he was first to act. Everyone thought he checked. BB checks, the next player checks, and the last player checks. Then, he decides to bet! Huh? Claiming he didn't see us all check. Yeah, right, asshole. THe floor is called. He immediately goes off saying "I already know you're going to say I cant bet, why even bother!?" The floor guy looks like he is about to smack the guy. He actually allowed the bet but you could tell he didn't want to. This guy was a total prick. Meanwhile, I raise twice, once with AQ, once with AJ...and both times...back to him, he REPOPS it. I fold both times. My disdain for the guy is growing. And I am starting to feel like a puss.

So on the final hand before the dinner break, I pick up AK. I raise in 2nd position. The guy behind me, from NYC, who has all the elements necessary to be a serial killer...calls. He has been calling my raises all day, too. Well, our buddy in the BB decides, again...to RERAISE ME! Jeezuz. Well, now I have a new issue. I am NOT folding to this prick again. And not only that, I want the asshole behind me OUT of the hand. I feel like its time to take a stand against the prick. So I reraise all in. Dahmer behind me folds. Lil Buddy snap calls. Oh no! Yep. He has AA. Shit! The flop comes K-10-J. Ohhhh....can I get a miracle suckout? A king would be great, but I would settle for a Q and a chop! COME ON!!!!! Not to be. I lose. I'm out. I go to dinner break with Allie and Matt Brady and beat myself up. Let Frank know I went out. Feel bad. The trip is over. Dammit. Allie goes back in and with his remaining 7K...finds JJ in the SB vs the buttons raise and he ships it too. The guy calls with KQ and flops a Q. Matt would sit around for 4 more hours before he lost and joined us back at the house around midnight, claiming to "hate poker."

I spent all day Monday cleaning Allies house, doing laundry and talking smack with him and Matt. I actually managed to return my rental car and get to the airport with time to spare. The flight home was nice. Had a nice older man on my flight next to me...and we talked about dogs. His dog was killed two months ago while he was elk hunting and his wife let the dog outside while she was cleaning out her car...someone speeding down their road ran his dog over. I felt so bad for this guy. He was like watching a little kid. Dogs are great. But when they leave us...oh man. The pain.

Speaking of pain. Chris Johnson just ran for another touchdown. 14-3 Tennessee.

Tuesday, Squirrel went to work, and I got back after it on Pokerstars. Playing the $3 rebuy...I cut through a field of over 4,000...making it down to 11. That is where my luck with KK this week started. Over the last three days I have been getting KILLED with KK. Holding KK and having 1.5 million in chips...sitting about 4th, I have a chance to become chipleader one from the final table. 11th place pays $285. 1st pays $6500. I raise with KK. A guy with 1.4 million chips just SHOVES. Must be AK or JJ/QQ I think. I am not folding Kings. I call. He has JJ. Flops a mother(*!@(*@ Jack. I don't improve. Leaves me with almost no chips. I double up twice to give me hope, but then lose with 1010 vs AJ, and went out 11th. I was so deflated. Then in a $11 MTT, get down from 3200 players to 45...and this clown who had been shoving all level...does it again, and I have 10's and decide to call. He has J2. That's right. The 'ol jack deuce. No problem, he flops a Jack. I'm out. I've been getting deep in almost every MTT I play. Its only a matter of time before I clip something big. My success in everything PCA related though (Pokerstars Carribbean Adventure) has been abysmal. I just seem destined to not win that damn thing AGAIN! And come Sunday I have to leave for the Dominican for the WPT Season Pass Battle.

Its weird to go from 2 weeks of live play to playing online. The way people play in the two is SO different! It really requires you to shift gears. Majorly. And sit on the couch and make sure you have a bag of weed next to you, otherwise, you are probably going to destroy the house! Beat after beat after ridiculous beat are just part of the landscape when playing online. And keeping from losing your chat forever is the other big challenge, as you will find some of the biggest idiots you will ever see in your life!

Well, I have been tasked to vacuum the whole house and clean up the backyard from Doggy Destruction....as we have people coming over to eat with us today. Just wanted to fire off an update for you all, for anyone that was curious how the Venetian Main Event went. And to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. Oh yeah...that's something else I'm thankful for, all of you who read this blog and offer up your support! Thanks! And have a great weekend!!!!!

MONKEY

Monday, November 24, 2008

Vegas...

Here we go again....another Main Event, another shot at a REAL WIN.

It has been a very interesting week. First, to update ya'all..yeah Tim Hebert took 4th the other night in the Ceasers Mega Stack. And he took it the hard way. Holding AA a clown raises his BB. Tim re-raises in a fashion that should have made it real clear he had the guy killed.

Moron says "Well, I am really tired so if you got me you got me" and calls with A6. Promptly flops two sixes. Gross. But yeah...another great run for T. Tim is really on his game right now. And I'm delighted to have him firmly locked up in Monkey's Posse!

This week has been something else. This game is so damn humbling. Its 9am out here in Vegas. Until 2:30 am I played yesterdays $275 Mega Satellite into today's Main Event. 7 grueling hours. Starting with 221 players. 22 seats awarded. 23rd getting $1018. 24th getting an attaboy.

With 24 left and me sitting two from the BB...which was now 3000/6000 with a 1000 ante and
me holding 8000 chips...it was looking like another sad ending to a long, protracted Venetian experience. Two other players at my table had less than me, 5K and 7K...but they were afforded the luxury of being three and five players behind me....so they could almost win by folding. I was about to get screwed.

So with 89h under the gun I decide to ship it and hide under the table. NOBODY called but the BB for another 2k. He turns over K5. Board goes 10-10-4....jeez. COME ON! PLEASE! 9 on the turn. 9 on the river! MONKEY WINS! Then in the SB....all in for 3000 guy moves it. I have 23d in the SB and complete for 3. BB has AQ and just checks (smart play). We check it all the way down. ALL IN guy has A3. I win with a 2! Now have a ton of chips and am in little peril.

On the other table..perhaps the STUPIDEST PLAY IN POKER HISTORY takes place. And when it was over I tried to take the guys picture so I could post it on the site here with a big banner under it of "WORLDS STUPIDEST POKER PLAYER...BEWARE!" The BB is all in...we are hand for hand...the lady at my table who is now sitting on TWO THOUSAND CHIPS...will be in the BB all in the NEXT hand. When I try to take this morons pictures he figures it out....and stands up and tries to smack the phone/camera out of my hand. He missed that too. Guy just couldn't connect!

Player A limps for 6000. Player B calls. Player C calls. Player D (for Dumbass) completes the SB for 3000. FOUR players in there to whack this guy and end things. Flop comes. CHECK, CHECK, CHECK and CHECK. Okay. Smart. Turn. Same deal. Four checks. River...2. Small blind...or Donk-O-Saurus Rex...bets out 20K. Huh?

We see Player A holding AQh...for the NUT FLUSH. Realistically he should have just moved in on this assclown. But I like it even better that he didn't so we all would get to see his cards. He smooth calls. Everyone else folds. RETARD has 10-2 and for reasons known only to his imaginary friend has decided it would be a great idea to force everyone out and allow the ALL IN player holding 8-3 offsuit...and the winner (with a 3 on the board) if the other player had NOT had the NUTS...to survive.

We all spent about five minutes laughing about and AT this guy. His reason? No...he did NOT know the guy who was all in. NO it was not his friend/son/relative...anything. He stated..and I quote "I had the chips to make the play." WOW. A play I will never forget.

So we win our seat into today's Main Event. Prior to this Mega starting I got a call from Allie telling me he thought Frank Kassella would be interested in buying me in if I needed a stake. My backer and I really like to limit our direct buyins to events $1000 and lower. Otherwise we try to satellite in. So I had to seriously entertain that offer.

There is nothing worse than playing all the prelim events and then NOT playing the Main Event. Its just kind of humiliating. So I wanted to make sure I locked up that option. So I told Frank if I won the Mega I would still honor our deal. So now that I have won it, I have had to go back to my backer and explain the situation to her. Basically, now I will be playing for 50% with Frank...and of my 50%...I will split THAT with my backer.

So really? I am just mostly playing for POY points, pride, respect and glory...and a stupid plastic trophy. I just about have to get Top 5 to assure myself of anything remotely resembling a 'decent' cash. But it was more important to me to NOT burn a good bridge in the poker world. I made a deal, I have to honor it. I'm not a weasel. And after talking to my backer about it this morning, I have her support, so that's all that really matters. We are guaranteed of leaving Vegas tomorrow (or Tuesday if I final table this thing and change my flight) with a healthy bankroll still.

Its been a strange week. On Tuesday I played the Main Event at Ceasers. It was not a good day. I had AK 8 times...won with it ONCE. I did get a bad player to pay me off with a boat when I knew he had a nut flush...and that won me enough to keep me around through the dinner break. But after the break I made a play at a guy who we'll call the Swedish Elf. This guy keeps popping up everywhere. My tourneys. My sit n gos. The restaurants I choose to dine.

He wont leave me alone. Short little dude, with dark hair and frosted tips. Short eyelashes. Small, tiny little elf hands.Anyway...I thought I had a read on this guy that he was stealing...and holding AQ I shipped my stack into his cutoff raise and he insta-called with AK. Great. It held, and I was done in that one.

Called Allie and told him I was out. He called me pathetic and advised me to go home and kill myself. Instead I told him I was going to Venetian...that I still had 22 minutes to get into the nightly $120 over there. He ridiculed me some more. I made it in time. I could give you the short version, or the long version.

Lets choose the short version. After being put in a ten hand penalty for something very stupid...and holding only 4100 chips, and 300/600 blinds...I went ballistic. I got the Tournament Supervisor to reduce the penalty and only missed one round of blinds. What happened was the button shoved all in. I had a decent price to call...not a great one. And said as much. I said...."lets see if I can give you action here....first one.....(as I turn it over) is a 5. Ahhh...second one....is a 6...suited" Hmmmmmmm! Well, Sam the tourney floor walks by and calls me out on the 'exposing your hand' infraction and tells me I will have a penalty after the hand.

JEEZUZ CHRIST! So...I call only because I want to either have enough to weather the storm or get blinded out. I flop a 6. He rivers his J...and I am screwed. But I got the thing reduced because I made a valid argument. You have us down to 2 tables and you are going to end my tourney on a chippy penalty? I got back in...went on a tear....and won the damn tournament. We did a save for $2000 each and played heads up for $550.

After an hour heads up we finally decided to end the madness and chop that too. I graciously tipped the floor $100 and the dealers $200...and took $2000 home. I get $1000. So basically I tipped out 30%. The other guy tipped a total of $30. Overtipping?? There are always reasons for it. Today's reason is this:

Instead of sitting around last night....with our players card...waiting...LIKE WE ALWAYS DO at the end of a MEGA...for the tourney directors to handle the whole 'getting us registered for the next day's event' I instead hand my players card and a $20 tip to the main guy and ask if I can please go home and get some sleep and get my shit in the morning. "No problem Monkey." Yahtzee. I guarantee you those guys were stuck there til 4am waiting out that process. Ugh. Not me. I was sleeping!

I played on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday...and had ZERO luck. Its good that I did this as a recap...because had I done a day by day thing...I think some of you would have been about to kill yourself just reading it! The bottom line is that I was continuously chipping up early only to run into disaster late.

I run that way at Venetian a LOT. I have logged more LIVE tourney hours at the Venetian for only about 4 or 5 cashes in the last two years. Its gross. The players at this event are a very strange makeup. You have 15% good/solid players. My favorite. WILL fold a decent hand. WILL respect a position raise. Then you have 40-45% average run of the mill players. You will take a lot of bad beats from these people. Just good enough to maybe cash, but also just good enough to make a stupid call and end your day.

The remaining 40% of the field is what cause us good players to smash our heads against the wall. Over-raising. Over calling. Shoving instead of raising. Calling with any ace. Calling if they are getting "pot odds." Calling if they are suited. Calling because "they are tired." Calling because they want to whack the Monkey. I hate these people and really wish they would vanish!

I really hope I have a good tourney today. I would like a decent score and decent momentum push as I head for the Dominican next week to play in that WPT Battle for the Season Pass deal. After that I will pretty much be 'on the rack' for the rest of the season. I will have three weeks to try and win this damn PCA trip in the Bahamas.

I really want to win that thing, especially since the boys at the Beau Rivage still haven't opened the doors to me to return there. I have no IDEA what the hell is going on there. Am I supposed to go in there begging to let me back? Are they just going to let me know I can come back? Why didn't they EVER respond to my email? It really makes me sad. It really makes me want to move to Vegas.

If I could get Squirrel a job out here, find a decent house....why wouldn't I? Stay in Biloxi for what? I just wish I knew what was going on in Johnny and Ken's head. I wont say anything bad about them because I like and respect them both. It really makes this all very hard. I wish I hated them both so I could sit here and spew nasty comments about them. But I just don't. The whole MGM mess just kind of follows me around like a black cloud.

Players asking me about it all the time. What do I tell them? I really want to play the January event. I don't know...maybe when the new year comes around they will surprise me with a olive branch. I hope so. But in the mean time...its time to ride the exercise bike for half an hour....and go try to win the Venetian Main Event. Hope you all are having a good weekend!

MONKEY

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Monkey Has Some New Threads

Its Monday. Me, Allie Prescott, and Matt Brady...winner of the Aruba Classic are all sitting around the TV at home watching MNF...they are playing the $1K nightly on Full Tilt, I am contemplating multi-tabling on Stars but leaning towards finishing my latest awesome novel....Protect And Defend (Vince Flynn), great book. I was going to play the Full Tilt deal, but when trying to log in for the first time in maybe two months...I get a message telling me I have to contact customer service. WTF? I emailed them...and of course, have heard nothing back. Wondering if this may somehow have something to do with that Jon Little/AIM/2+2 bullshit. Guess we will find out...not that I really give a rat shit, since I never play on there anyway.

Something very unusual has just occurred. I have failed to step foot in a casino now for two consecutive days. While in Las Vegas. I'm pretty sure, and this includes my 6-week visits for the WSOP....that this is the first time I have resisted the casino/poker for two full days.

Friday and Saturday's tourneys were both bummers. $540 buy ins. Played long and got deep in both, only to lose on disappointing river beats. On Saturday, after I lost, I jumped into a $240 SNG...hoping to recoup both my FRI/SAT buy ins and maybe feel encouraged to play in the Sunday dime at Venetian. That went well. KJ off. Limp in behind a couple of limpers...not a hand I want to get nutty with. Then the flop comes K-K-7...2 diamonds. Wow. Check...Check....hell, I check(trap, I hope) too...no one bets. Hmmmph. Turn is a damn diamond...four to the flush. SB bets out. Gets a call. Next guy....Lonnie the dealer (not dealing in this game obv!) calls....time to bump it up. I raise pretty substantially. Now the SB goes ALL IN. Lovely. This clown must have a baby flush. Next guy folds. Lonnie does something very bizarre. He CALLS? Leaves 250 behind. Interesting. Well, I am certain now that I am somehow beat....pockets 7's? Other guy has a damn flush. I do have the J of diamond so maybe if I hit a diamond I'm good. Or I'm drawing dead already. So I decide to go for the J. Besides...there is too much in there. First guy has 46d. Great. Correct there. Lonnie has KQ. Ahhh shit. River is another diamond. So I win the sidepot and knock out Lonnie...but now am very short. I go out a short time late with AQ vs AK.

Decide to play a little cash game. And drink. And wait out Tim Hebert...who is getting very deep in the Noon Tourney and who is wanting to go out with us that night. We all had a table at the Cathouse at Luxor...Me, JD, SMOKE, and some other people I didn't know very well. I waited on Tim. It was starting to look like he was going to make another final table. Tim's a good player. I love watching him play. Not because he reminds me of myself...but because he's funny. He uses some of the same weapons I do. Funny dude. And he's pretty dialed in right now. He ends up getting totally fucked in this tourney. In the BB with JJ...the SB shoves all in for 110K. Tim has 185K and calls this 'tard. Guy has A2. Cute. River card? You know it. So now instead of having around 300K he is looking at 85K shortstack. Two hands later and with 14 left...he picks up AKsuited....Tommy "I used to have nothing and now I have all DIS" VU min raises with 78....Tim ships it for 85K....dipshit calls and of course, hits his 8 to put Tim on the rail. Brutal.

We drive over to Luxor and head into Cathouse. It was pretty crowded. I hate clubbing in Vegas on the weekends. Its too much of a cluster fuck. But at least we have a table. They held some Miss Nevada bullshit earlier that night and they were all conglomerated at the table next to us. Then I'm looking over there and I see Brandon Cantu. How funny. I lost his number when I lost my phone so this was handy. He now has a girlfriend. Pretty hot girl. We chatted for awhile. He invited us over for Mimosa's and football on Sunday and then either he left or I did. One of the two. Of those girls with the pageant only one of them was worth a damn. Miss Arizona. She was tall, had a nice rack...and seemed to have her shit together. But then she started dancing. Holy shit. It was like watching Elaine Bettis! Not that I was entertaining any shenanigans or anything...but when you're 41 and feeling more and more like an ugly toad everyday, its nice when you can get a hot bitch to talk to you even for 5 minutes!

Couple of chicks from Dallas who I guess JD and Smoke met and knew in the two months they were living there before moving out here and renting Kathy Liebert's house and making Vegas their home base showed up and demonstrated just how fucking weird a woman can get while drinking alcohol. First I listened to Smoke tell me how much he loves me, and how much he loves Squirrel...so I now know JUST how hammered HE is. Then he tells me how this girl has basically been begging him to fuck her for three days and how he continues to blow her off. Well, at some point she decided to park herself on my lap and start telling me how wonderful I was, and how mean Charlie was. It was about this time that I realized her cleavage wasn't really cleavage, but a fucking SCAR! Huh? I was just drunk enough to ask her "what's up with the scar?" Turns out this broad had OPEN HEART FREAKING SURGERY a couple years ago. NICE! No, this lady was not old. Then she starts in on her job, what she hates about everything....I was either going to kill HER or MYSELF. I had to figure out a way to get away. Tim was the clever one...he managed to somehow vanish. I texted him on my BRAND NEW, JUST acquired (for another $400) that day Blackberry...to ask WTF he was. He had already made his way to the Rhino. I was invited. They had Grey Goose and a table. Hmmm.....sounded....almost enticing.

Alas, I decided I preferred to go home. Get some sleep. Save some money. Everytime I go to that damn place it ends up being more money spent than I would care to admit to. So I chose the "go home and visit the internet" option instead. A lot cheaper, and the girls never hassle you to go to the Champagne Room. I call Squirrel, feeling very proud of myself and my decision to go home. She is at Venues, across the street from the Beau...and she is S-H-I-T-F-A-C-E-D! Wow. I couldn't talk to her....mainly because of the noise in the background and my inability to understand ANYthing she was saying. She finally went home with THE CLAW and her friend Brandy...and they had a chick slumber party. Take it easy boys...I know, I was thinking the same thing. Didn't happen! ;) She would follow that up by sleeping til 6 the next day and having a little party at Monkey's crib later that night. I think she has done all my Vegas Partying FOR ME while I have been here.

Molly continues to terrorize the house, the yard and Jasper. Its all Squirrel wants to talk about.

I would like to thank PHILLY and CINCY for that tie, which caused a bit of a firestorm within my various Survivor Pools. Of course the people who got to SURVIVE despite not 'winning' felt happy. But then there were the handful of jackasses who insisted that since they DIDNT WIN they should be out. Some people are just pricks, basically. Nice to hear that several members of the Eagles didn't even KNOW they HAD TIES in the NFL! Great...had they known...maybe they try harder to score?

I wake up on Sunday and decide I do NOT feel like playing the $1K at Venetian. Instead we go to meet Frank at Red Rock Casino and watch the football games. Nice ending to that Pittsburgh game. That didn't cost me much! Lets call it $2500. Then we go to Franks house and have a Kassella Family Single Table Tourney...with a whopping $20 buy in. I chase a flush and lose early to THE PRESCOTT. He would eventually lose to the youngest daughter.

Today (Monday) we had a day that has caused Squirrel to start calling me and Allie a couple of girls. We stayed up all night 'chatting' about 'stuff.' We then woke up and went grocery shopping. Came back to the house and watched CALIFORNICATION....pretty funny show. Then it was time to follow up on my promise to take Allie shopping for clothes. THE REINVENTING OF THE PRESCOTT. Or the Allie Makeover. Whatever you want to call it. The mission was a total failure, unless you consider me getting myself an entire wardrobe a victory...which, of course, I did. Pretty sure Allie is a lost cause in the fashion department.

Who is Jerome Harrisson and what is he doing running 75 yards for a touchdown for Cleveland? Wow. Nice "D" Buffalo.

Marc Ecko is a great store. And their clothes are relatively cheap. Which resulted in 6 new hooded sweatshirts, 2 dress shirts, 4 casual shirts, and a pair of jeans. When I get new clothes, it gets me excited. That, I suppose...is VERY chick-like. Whatever. Monkey has new duds. Ready to play now! I am rested, I am newly clothed, my head is free of bad beats and all that it entails.....lets ROCK!

Tomorrow is looking like a coin flip. Play the $340 at Venetian, or play the $1000 Main Event of the poorly organized, poorly attended Ceasers Palace Mega Stacks tourney. They still have that horseshit structure of theirs where they fail to introduce antes into play until the 600/1200 level...when the antes are 100. So stupid. Those ass clowns over there are completely clueless. Why? Why in the hell, with only 2 weeks since their Ceasers Classic, do they feel they need to compete with Venetian by slamming in their own event to compete with Venetians? And then run it like shit? I have come to a very iron-clad conclusion that what it has to be is that they employ morons in their marketing department, whose jobs it is to compete with the other casinos. So instead of concentrating on the fact that they are cannibalizing poker by deluding the field, they instead have to justify their existence by going heads up with Venetian in the same time slot, and see who gets better numbers. Hopefully, this latest episode will be enough to get Gary Loveman to get control of the situation. (highly doubtful)

I swear...PLEASE LET ME RUN SOMEONES POKER ROOM FOR ONE MONTH and watch how profitable I make it. You cannot have dipshits from business school making decisions about poker policy when they aren't even POKER PLAYERS! this is, of course...AGAIN...why I was such a bad employee in my earlier life. Because I am usually smarter than most of the assholes I worked for, and when making conclusions that are both FACT based and COMMON SENSE based...I would always lose out to the "That is our Policy" way of things. Enough to make you want to firebomb the place you worked, as well as the car of the person responsible for making you nuts!

I think I am done with this entry. Allie and Brady are both OUT of the FULL TILT debacle. I think I will go to Ceaser's in the morning, see how many are signed up...and decide then what I want to do. At any rate...I haven't capped a final table out here yet...and time is running out on me. I have a week. I need three to pass Gabe and Cub. Cub is supposed to be coming out here...and I think is staying here at Hotel Prescott. Remains to be seen. Maybe if I make two final tables to tie him...I can tie him up in the garage for the next 5 days. Might be the only way to keep that little bastard off the final table!

I hope to have some good updates the next few days. Stay tuned. Monkey has new clothes!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Vegas Monkey

It is Saturday. 9am. Cool thing about being in Vegas is you get to wake up...not always in the best physical and mental condition...and watch college football. Not for very long mind you, because...for the first time in your life you have lost your Blackberry Curve, along with every phone number of every person you know locked inside of it.

Although you don't really think you lost it. What you think is that after you finished your meal at Grand Lux the other night...it was laying on the table and the busboy snagged it when he bussed your table. Nevertheless, you have NO PHONE...and have to get off Allie's very comfortable leather couch and drive to the nearest T-Mobile store to spend another $300 on a freaking phone.

Then slowly reassemble my very large phone book. Its almost like I got smashed up in a car accident, was in a coma for 6 months...just woke up from it, and now have to relearn everything like a freaking 2 year old.

Well, who wants to hear about poker? Before I tell you about poker....lets talk about Molly. Who is Molly? No, its not the girl I am cheating on Cheryl with out here. That girl doesn't exist anymore.

Cuz I killed her. If I was ever stupid enough to cheat on Cheryl...I would HAVE TO kill the girl to hide the evidence! There ya go! Time for you haters out there to cut/paste this now to the cops...cuz chances are, I have committed murder out here!

No, Molly is our new dog. After losing my phone...I come home, very inebriated...and get into an online chat with Squirrel (Cheryl) and she informs me that Molly, whom she HEARD chewing on something and assumed it was a cap from bottled water...was instead eating the entire bottom baseboard and leg of my very expensive bed at home.

And prior to that...she destroyed the backyard. Before getting on the plane to fly to Vegas, I very obediently (per Squirrel's request) went to Home Depot Monday and purchased $300 worth of paver stones and sand...and for 5 hours made a patio out back. Molly has been digging holes under and around the patio. I am about ready to climb on a plane..fly home...and kill this dog. I told Squirrel to drive a stake in the middle of the yard...and attach a 20ft chain to it...and then Molly.

She wont do it. Thinks its cruel. Yeah, and watching me dump $300 and 5 hours of my life to fix the backyard only to have that little shit tear it up isn't cruel? It took me $300 worth of massage to get my back and neck right after that and the cramped flight out here!

Poker. I got in on Monday night and after renting my car came to the Venetian to meet all my boys. Charlie "Smoke" Oliver, James "JD" Dunning, And Tim "Guy who gets to Hit Hundred Pounds of Fury" Hebert....at Palazzo. We have a drink and decide its time to play a SNG. Rooster shows up later. So in this SNG we have ME, SMOKE, JD, ROOSTER and TIM.

First hand I call this clowns 250 raise (25/50) with 78c...predicting he is on AK/AQ like most of the bad players out here. James calls with 66. The flop comes down 5c6cQh. JD checks. I move all in. The first guy, the raiser...folds. JD calls with his set. I call for the 2 of clubs from the dealer...and the river? 2 of clubs! JD storms off.

Next victim is Rooster. UTG raised 200 (Tim) Rooster calls...and I pick up JJ. I decide to just flat it. Flop comes all rags. Tim checks ...okay, AK AQ probably. Rooster bets out 600. Hmmm. I really don't know WHAT to put him on...and its only a $80 sng so we are mostly just having fun. I ship it. Rooster hesitatingly calls. He turns over QQ. Oh...shit. Oops. Never mind. JACK on the river...and now I have a huge chiplead on the table.

Rooster storms off...mumbling under his breath. Rooster...he's hilarious when he loses! Well, I lose half my stack to this other guy. Thought I outplayed him and instead found out I was wrong. Chips....THAT WAY! We get down to four. ME, TIM, SMOKE and this other guy.

Tim wants me to let you all know how bad he outplayed me on this hand. He min raises me in the SB at 200/400. You all KNOW I hate the min raise. But then I am looking at A7. I call. Flop an A. We get into this whole "what to do, how much to bet" stare down. He turns over an ace. Yeah?

I got one too! I turn mine over. He makes a very large bet. I am just thinking I must have him out kicked. I call. His other card? A fucking ACE! Everyone got a nice chuckle out of that one! I went out 4th. Got some of the last longer money. Left to go check into the Hotel Prescott and get some sleep in time for the next days tourney.

Tourney 1. Got there very late. Win a couple hands. Lose a couple hands. Have a lady at the table who is a Venetian dealer, playing on her day off. She is yapping. To the point that I had to put on my iPod. She is also a calling station. My table is generally fanatical.

As most of my tables out here have been every event so far. Well, she loves face cards. I knew if I picked up AA/KK early, I could limp in and almost certainly get a late raiser. So, I get KK. I limp for 200. Two callers, and Miss "wont shut up for anything" raises it to 800. Perfect. It folds around to me.

I RE-RAISE it to THREE THOUSAND! She looks like she just stepped in dog shit. But oh...she smooth calls anyway! How nice. Flop comes Q-6-6. I move in for 5400. She insta-calls...with AQ offsuit. I fully expected to see QQ when she snap called. "Oh I didn't think you had that good of a hand, because you limped in."

Yeah lady...I also RERAISED YOU THREE THOUSAND chips! Did you think I was 'making a move' for a 3rd of my stack!??? Unreal. Well..she turned a Q and I was done. I would go on to get thrashed all day in SNG's and my first day sucked!

Tourney 2. I show up late...not as late as usual, but late. Somewhere around level 3 I raise with 99 in early position. Guy behind me...on tilt...calls. The next guy re raises it. But not enough to make me fold. Or the other guy. I have 22K at this stage of the game. The flop comes J-9-3. Two spades. I decide to check raise, almost certain that SOMEONE is going to bet it. On tilt boy....shoves it in for 4100 and starts getting very excited about his chances to win. Hmmm...must be on a draw I think. Whatever.

The next guy...CALLS....ha....well, lets play for a side pot here if it comes down to that. I move all in. The old dude CALLS. Oh crap...do NOT let this guy have JJ. He doesn't...he has QQ. The other guy has Q10. So other dude is looking to hit a one-outer. I assume I will lose to the shortstack...but don't.

I chip up to over 50k and I was on my way. Pick up a few more good pots. Get up to 60K. Then I have a chance to get to 100K. Dude #1 raises. Dude #2 goes all in for 9K. I have AK suited. I decide to jam it in. Dude #1 with 10's folds. Dude number 2 has QQ. I flop a K. Along with a 10. Glad that guy was out. Dude #2 goes runner, runner for a straight. SHIT! Back to 40K ish. Then go card dead for a long time.

We get to about 50 players and the thrill ride begins. I crack KK with 77...when I flop 4-5-6- all diamonds....holding the 7d. Sick. Move in, get the insta call...turn another 7, river a flush. Then I win an all in race with 88 vs. AK. The bubble, at 37 players...lasted AN HOUR! When it finally busted I was sitting on a meager 54K with the avereage at 135K. ON the SECOND hand after we made the money....this fun hand goes down:

UTG moves all in for 17K. Next up (holding 140K) calls. Monkey looks down at AA. For the first time all day. I literally say "Wow! You finally showed up! Awesome" as I announce all in. Small stack behind me must have had somewhere to be because he too calls. The guy who had smooth called decides he believes I have AA but he is getting too good a price to fold. So he calls. I am up against A-7, Q-10, and the guy who has me covered has 10-10. About the best thing I could have asked for.

The flop comes 10-8-7. You have GOT to be kidding me. I turn to gather my stuff...head for the door, and get called back in. I assume they are just fucking with me....but as I approach the table...I see it. The ACE OF CLUBS on the river! No way! He one-outs me, and I one-out him! INCREDIBLE! So now, I was sitting on 185K.

We get down to 15...and I have 120K...been getting blinded down. A guy goes all in for 85K and I have 10-10. I think about it and call. Im not there to finish 5-15th. Im there to win. I go over the top all in. Everyone folds. He has KJ. Flops a K. It holds. Dammit. Next hand I move in A7....BB calls with A4. I win. double back up. I then lose 88 to K10 and am shortstack again!

I pick up my second favorite hand 6-7 suited and decide to move that in. I get called by AQ. I flop an OPEN ENDED STRAIGHT FLUSH. No problem....I brick the turn AND the river and my night ends...15th place. $1060. Not very satisfying. But a good tourney, another cash. Not a final table though. So still seeking Final Table number 10. Cardplayer finally posted my results from IP. Im now #167..right behind #166...some guy named Phil Hellmuth Jr.

Tourney 3. A $340 buy in. Got there on time...I know, strange. Hung around, hung around and hung around...average for about 5 hours. Never could get a big hand. Ended up going out 125th out of 407...right before the dinner break. Did manage to win a couple SNGs that night...so it wasn't the worst day.

Tourney 4. A $550 buy in on Friday (yesterday). Second hand in I get AA....limp. Get the late raise to 300. Make it 900 and get three callers. Incredible. These people out here are HORRENDOUS! Flop Q high with two hearts. Bet out 2500. They all fold. I then lose about every hand I play for two hours. Table breaks. I have 18K somehow.

Guess it was that straight I rivered before the 2nd break to collect 4300 chips. Well at new table, I get a 2000 raise UTG with blinds 300/600. The next guy moves all in for 10,600. I look down at AA. Yahtzee! I smooth call. First raisers makes an intelligent read and equally intelligent laydown. "I think you have a monster." You thinks correctly sir. I win. Now up to 35K. We get down to 90 (started with 378) and I am starting to think maybe I will cash this damn thing.

Get moved to a new table...featuring some decent players. My buddy John Wesstra is there, nursing a shortstack that he would eventually grow to a healthy stack. I was pretty card dead. Then Anna Wroblewski shows up at our table. She starts doing a lot of raising.

Then another chick shows up and starts re-popping. Oh...this is going to end badly. I make on nice play when a guy raises my BB from the button. I look down at 22. I say, "I have a pocket pair...how should I play this?" I move all in on him. He folds AJ face up. Wow. I proceed to go card dead for an hour. I raise and someone re raises or moves all in.

It was going badly. I am sitting there with 19K and the average at 54K and dinner break coming at the conclusion of the hand. I am in the SB. Middle position limps for 1600. Huh? Well that is when crazy boy goes all in. Crazy Boy is a guy I have been playing with for three days now, and have a very good line on how he plays.

I am almost 97% certain that he has made this move as a simple attempt to take down this nice little 5K pot without seeing a flop. I have KJ and feel I have him crushed. And with a chance to go into the dinner break with close to 30K...I think its time to gamble. I call. Limper folds. Crazy boy turns over 7-8 offsuit. Correct again. Flops Q-10-7. Damn 7. But I have a lot of outs. Open ended with overs. 14 outs. Miss them all. OUT.

I'm out in time to play the 2nd chance tourney. Less than hour in I get QQ. Cutoff raises. I re-raise. He REPOPS ME. Hmmm...he has this goofy ass look on his face, and I think he is just making a move. But I decide to just call his raise. The flop is all crap rags. He CHECKS. I tell him....pretty sure you have AK sir...at best. Im all in. He snap calls. With...ugh...AK. Turn...A. OUT. Well played sir.

Go play a $130 SNG. Am dominating it. Two people win. We get down to three, we all have about the same number of chips. This girl...who I encountered the day before in the tourney...lets call her an Ugly St. Pauli Girl.

Likes to make sure everyone can see her milk jugs...as she pretty much lays them out on the table. Kind of gross actually. She looks similar to that Betty Boop cartoon chick on Adult Swim...if any of you watch that. Well, she doesn't raise. EVER. She just either Moves all in or calls. She moves all in on my BB...and I look down at KK. Gotcha BITCH! She turns over 9-2. She has me covered by 100 freaking chips. Flops a 2...rivers a 2. I throw my Monkey at the dealers face...and leave. (okay, I didn't really do that...but I wanted to).

That's all I have for you guys today. I really need to go get a new phone. This took an hour...and now its 11...leaving me only an hour to do that and get to today's $550 that I expect a lot of people to come and play. I am being nice calling them people. Lets see how I feel after today is over. :)

MONKEY

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Final Table Monkey

Well everyone...the pressure is off!My little Joe Namath-like guarantee of 3 final tables has been met (He made it to me pretournament--WB). My 'gut feeling' of at least 5 final tables has been met. My first WIN (without a chop) has been achieved.

And now...this morning...I sit here preparing to go and Final Table my first ever Main Event. Missed the final table in the last IP Main Event by 3. I really want to take this sucker DOWN! What is the damn deal with CardPlayer? PokerPages has posted every final table from this event.

Well, mostly. I guess the 4pm tourneys aren't getting posted. Which robs me of the Omaha final table, and well Monkeys Midnight Drunk Fest certainly does NOT make the cut! Last night...at 20 to six...and sitting on only 3500 chips in the Noon tourney, a $340 buy in...which made it both Cardplayer POY eligible and ROUNDER pt eligible...which was the main reason I realllllly wanted to win it...

I had a rare opportunity. A guy with a lot of chips, who had been raising a lot...raised again. No big surprise. A guy behind him...who loved to re-raise with any big ace...RERAISES. I look down at 8-9 spades. There are 16 players left. Its only paying 9. Blinds are 600/1200. I need to make something happen. ON the other hand...I am on the button and have probably 6 chances to find something better. But I think...there is a good chance they both have an A...and probably a K and/or a J or Q are out. My cards are live as hell. And here is a chance to go from 3500 chips to about 15K! And put myself in a good spot to win this damn thing. So I ship it.

I don't get much help. Turn a straight draw...but miss, dammit, and go out 16th. But I was just in time for the 6pm 2nd chance tourney...a $230 buy in with a 10K guarantee. They end up getting a pretty good-sized field and first place ends up being as much as first was in Thursday's tourney which I got 2nd place in. It starts out rocky....like almost every tourney this week has. But then I get my courtesy double up...flopping Q-J-10....holding QJ and doubling up through the guy with J10.

THen I just kind of started picking up one nice pot after another. Got to 14K and dude who deals (who had beaten me the night before in a SNG heads up when his A8 found an A on the river against my 99 to beat me then) moves all in for 5500 and I look down at AK in the BB. Flops A-Q-4. It holds. Lovely.

It then became a seesaw battle for two hours...before we finally made the final table. Long before that I had started drinking Red Snappers...then the Midnight Drunk Fest started and I was ordering shots for them too. I get this old gal on my left...Wilma...who at 75 was a real spit fire. For a time I was sharing my iPod with her...we were jamming to the Bee Gees while I was stealing her big blind with 2-3 off and a board of A-Q-J-8-6 and her holding Q9.

She really made some horrible plays. Oh well. She was cute, and fun...and she was drinking with me. I was having a blast. And luckbox dealer/player suckout boy continued to get lucky. Three handed I had them both 3 to 1 in chips. He raises my BB....I have Q10. I call. Flop comes Q-8-5. It all gets in there. He has 88. Jeez. We finally decide to chop the money 3 ways and play for like $500 additional.

I lose another race. Finally I ship it with 7-9..just ready to be out of there. I hit a 9. He hits something else...cant remember. I lose. Whatever. I take my $2500 and call it a day. Another good day. 3 noon final tables. 3 other final tables. A great event for me so far. I got a text from Cub last night. He told me he took down the $550 event up in Tulsa for 15K. Awesome. Good job Cub.

I think between Me, Gabe and Cub...we have like 35 final tables this year. Maybe someone will give the three of us some kind of deal. I don't know...Cub and I are both crazy as hell...Gabe is my buddy, but he sure doesn't fit the mold of NUTSO BOY like Cub and I do! And he is lacking the animal nickname. Might need to work on that!!!

Watched Gene D and Reid both take their tourneys deep last night only to fall short. That blows. Sorry for those guys. Rooster managed to win his Mega satellite last night and will be joining me in today's Main Event. Couple of the good players showed up last night, presumably for today's Main. TK reared his ugly head around 10pm but didn't say hi to me! (just kidding about the ugly part TK!)

My boy BJ from Baton Rouge, who just got 2nd to "Clownie" last week up at GoldStrike showed up around 9. Should be a good event today. I'm fired up. I really, really want to win this thing! Big game today. Alabama vs. LSU. Of course I live with a Bama fan. And half of the poker room is either a Tiger or a Tide fan...so this should get ugly today!

There is another Hurricane out in the Caribbean..a Category freaking FOUR...in NOVEMBER!!!! You kidding me!??? Doesn't look like its coming this way though, just gonna wreak havoc on Cuba...again! I just finished reading a book, titled CATEGORY 7....basically it was about manufactured storms, pretty good book, really makes you wonder about some of these storms. Our government is pretty sneaky and devious. Pretty good book to read if you live down here.

Johnny Groomes, Ken Lambert and Eric Comer all showed up in the poker room yesterday. Not sure why. Scouting? Curious? No idea. But they were all smiles. Ken was quick to say Hi and shake my hand. Pretty awkward moment for me. I was sitting on a great chipstack at the moment...and had just gone on break, and didn't feel like getting into ANY kind of discussion that would alter my playing mood. Besides...what the hell was I going to say?

So...just curious...when will I be allowed back into your poker room? So, just curious, why didn't you guys respond to my letter? So, just curious, why did you guys tell me it was pending Gaming Commission investigation when it wasn't? SO, just curious...why do you guys hate me so much? Whatever. It just really hurts my feelings, knowing that none of them will look me in the eye and be straight with me. I, for years have always thought that Johnny and Ken were my true poker friends.

I have always said SUCH nice things about them. And recently Eric and I had smoothed out our differences and made friends (I thought)....he wouldn't even LOOK at me yesterday, like I was some form of plague. I just don't understand people sometimes. I guess it doesn't matter how much respect and admiration I have for someone, or how good I make them out to look to other people. Life isn't fair sometimes. It really isn't.

But I have to say, I have had a VERY fun week at the IP. They have really done a good job with this event. A few glitches here and there...but nothing major. The structures have been great. They have been really cool to the players, bringing in hot dogs and/or pizza once or twice a day for the whole tournament room. Giving away shirts and shot glasses. The Rounder girls have been buzzing around, always providing a nice distraction. And I've been winning, which always makes it more fun. I've met more new players and had fun with them...its been a good week. I hope I can cap it off with a big win today! Hope to see you all soon!!!!!! Gotta go get showered and ready for this one. (11:05am)

MONKEY

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Monday morning..and I am laying in bed trying to decide how bad I want to go play poker today. Its very sunny out. Squirrel is off today. I am craving Sushi...and I have a pile of mail on my desk...most of it payments for the MidSeason Survivor Pool...which I have topped 200 entries for. Wow. And as the Detroit Lions were looking like they were about to drill the Bears and whack about 45% of that field, and knock me out of the $100 Survivor Pool ($15K for first and only 25 people left in) the Bears mounted a comeback to save my butt. Moments later, I was misplaying my AK against a known donkey...who had raised $1000 (blinds 100/200) into my small blind with me sitting on only 3600 chips.

Like a dumbass I decided to flat call and see a flop. This was in Sundays $340...in which we only saw 80 players show up for. Flop came J high...and as soon as I checked, BOZO moved in. Ugh. A few hands later...a guy raised UTG...and I look down at 99 and decided to ship it. His KK held up and I was done for the day. OMG. I don't know how to share this with you guys the right way...I guess there is just no real easy way to do it. I wish I could have taken a picture and somehow included it with this posting. I had a guy at my table who had the FUNNIEST HAIRDO I have ever seen!

Oh and please don't let me forget about the guy we watched after the Friday night victory. Michael (cant remember his last name...but he sweated/supported my whole final table the other night-I rewarded him with a nice sweat fee!) and I went over to Ventures to see the girls and hang out a little. This short, muscular black guy decides to dress up as some kind of Roman Gladiator I guess....good choice of costume, because it allowed him to prance around all night with his shirt off, which I guess was his dream. "Wow, I can finally walk into a bar/club/casino...without my shirt!" Well, kudos to you meathead.

And no I am NOT JUST JEALOUS because I don't have bulging biceps, six-pack abs and ripped triceps! Okay...maybe just a LITTLE jealous! But not that I would pull that stunt. And of course..he had that walk..you know...when they walk with their head slightly tilted back. Every time he walked by us we started laughing. We couldn't help it. Ah. HAIR BOY! Picture this. About 32 years old. Maybe Italian. Pretty short. Wearing the darkest sunglasses...you know, has to lift them up to see the cards? Nice. Moron.

But this isn't about the glasses, its about the hair. Some of us guys get the 'widows peak' that little Eddie Munster looking thing that some of choose to shave into an even hair line. I do it. I admit it. But I style my hair to HIDE IT. NOOOOO not this clown. And his was very pronounced. Like a 5 o'clock triangle/shadow on the top of his head. ( oh and by the way...I already didn't like this guy because with the blinds 25/50 he was raising 300 with middle pairs)

Then...with his short hair, and almost balding top...he has taken that waxy styling shit...and matted his hair down...pushing it forward. Covering the bald area. And then....RIGHT IN FRONT....he has taken and pushed the 1 and a half inch of hair....STRIAGHT UP...making it look like he has a short picket fence going across the top of his head...protecting the matted turf inside. Ya'all...I'm telling you...you HAD TO SEE IT. It was hilarious. I literally could NOT stop laughing to myself for the first two hours. The guy next to me...after about an hour....says "Monkey...I might be wrong about this...but are you laughing at the same thing I am? That guy's hair?"

Then that just made me laugh harder!!!!! Oh it was TOOO much! I had slept about a total of 7 hours since Thursday night...what with Halloween, my huge win on Friday night...and my two other final tables on Saturday. It was time to go home, spend some time with Squirrel, watch some football, get bubbled/rivered/ass raped on PokerStars....and fall asleep, to slumber for 11 hours...and wake up at 10:14am questioning my desire to go play in a $240 tourney that I expect about 70 to show up for, and not know if I can expect to get ANY Rounder points if I DO make the final table.

I know I wont get any POY/CardPlayer points because the buy in has to be 300 or higher, and there HAS to be 60 players or more. On Saturday, I felt like I might be headed for back to back final tables. Started hot, and I could feel/sense that my table was afraid of me. Always a nice feeling. Then....KABOOM! I called the initial raiser's 150 with 88..then the lady on my left makes it 450. First guy calls.

Well, I knew this lady LOVED to raise with paint...so I elected to put her on AK/AQ. I call. Flop comes A-8-5. Rainbow. Awesome! First guy checks. I check FULLY expecting the lady to bet it. She checks. I ask her...."you not going to bet your ace?" She says..."I was going to let you bet it...but you didn't" Huh? Interesting.

Well, then a 9 hits the turn. First guy checks AGAIN! Me too. Now the lady bets 500. There we go! The kid on my right calls. And I feel something bump me and I'm not sure if I am accidentally getting bumped or if this kid is trying to tell me something. And of course the first thing that goes through my head is...."OH MY GOD...NOT THE KNEE!!!!! NOOOOO....."

So I pretend like I just imagined it! I raise to 1500. The lady folds. Huh? Find out later she had KK. The other guy smooth calls. What the hell? River is a 5. Eights full of fives. He bets out 1500. Hells bells. What have I run into? I know there is NO WAY he has AA. 55? That would be sick. Nope....I call....he has 99. Damn. That hurts. So now I am on deathwatch. I get a SB opportunity to push with A9....two limpers behind....the same lady calls, with Q10....a 1200 shove...into 100/200 blinds.....and promptly hits the 10. I am out....4 hours in. Dang it. No back to back.

So I decide, HEY...it might be fun to go play this $120 Omaha Hi/Lo tourney. After half an hour I am down to 125 chips. Awesome. Then I make a full house holding A-2-3-5.....Threes full of fives. Followed by a nice little 4's full of 7's. Then I go on a tear...making Q's full twice for maxed out pots. I eventually make the final table...and am 2nd in chips. H

ad I elected to get involved in a hand holding Q-Q-9-7 I would have felted the most obnoxious guy at the table ( besides me) and become the overwhelming chipleader...but I made a good laydown preflop like a retard. Then I get rivered by the luckbox...my A-A-2-3 preflop raise runs into his A-K-10-7.....yeah kind of dominating aren't I? He ends up making K's and 10's...ten on the river. (and of course, no LOW hand) EVEN IN OMAHA I cant seem to fade the damn KING TEN! That crippled me.

Then I flop a flush....and get rivered by a guy with a boat. End up going out 6th. Should have won that damn thing. Not sure if that tourney gets reported to CardPlayer or not. I am quite certain I will get NO Rounder points...just wondering if I get another line on my CardPlayer profile, if so, that is TEN final tables for the year. Then I go play a couple sit n gos. Almost win one....go out 4th. Go to play a $60 sng...which I just HATE. Not enough money in there for a two hour commitment. But whatever.

We all start drinking heavily. Halfway through that sit n go I had 80% of the table drinking shots with me and we were already recruiting players for Monkey's Midnight Drunk Fest...starting shortly! Well, now Squirrel calls...she is off work. And in the other room, Rooster and The Claw (Claudia) are both in the money and ALMOST to the Final Table in the noon event. NICE! Meanwhile, Gabe is up in Tulsa texting me that HE is ALSO at the final table up there. Sweet.

We rock! Well, we get down to 3 in the sit n go. WE have also got a bunch of money in the last longer. Squirrel has arrived, looking great...and I buy her into the DrunkFest. And tell her to buy MY seat as well. 10 minutes after midnight we all start getting itchy. We decide to chop the stupid SNG..taking $270 each. Leave the dealer too much of a tip..but who cares.

Get to the drunk fest. FIRST HAND I look at is 10-10...with a known aggressor raising in first position and getting three callers. I MOVE IN! And set the tone for the night! They all fold. There are about 5 tables starting out....pretty damn good turnout for Monkey's Drunk Fest...which is pretty much what I have EVERYONE calling it when I am in there!

I cant give you exact details of how this thing went down...because I was BOMBED. All I know is Squirrel flopped a set...got run down by a flush...and moved to the cash game, where she won a few hundred bucks and I got my 'seed' money back from her. Then I had someone run a large stack into my AA...which held up. I ventured to another table to catch an all in hand....QQ vs. K9 and something else...I promptly told the guy...."dude, no problem, you have a K coming in the window...nothing to get worried about..." Window.....KING. Now I got people thinking I'm psychic..which at times, I think maybe I am.

Somehow....we were all of a sudden at the Final Table. Whoa. Everyone wants to chop. WHY? That's just silly. Also, I have announced that I only play this tourney for fun. That minus my buy in...whatever I win, is being donated to the dealers and the floorstaff for tolerating me during this thing! Lost in all this was that it was a turbo...and by the time we got down to 3...and the guys asked me AGAIN if I wanted to chop...and again I laughed...

I hear this ....."Blinds are 10K/20K...." I look down at my stack and have 35k. WTF? I look across the table at the other two guys with 25K and 45K. Oh. I see. Chop. Yeah...that would have made sense, huh? Oh well. Not sure what I had on that hand...but it all went in...and I lost..and finished in 3rd. I have no idea what I won. I know it did NOT end up in my pocket. Pretty sure I kept my word and gave it all to the dealers and floor. I went out and retrieved Squirrel....and her, I and Phillip Walsh (i.e.QuarterSack on P'Stars) headed for Waffle House, with Squirrel manning my ship and me singing badly to some song I pretended to know the words to. It was a fantastic meal...pretty sure I tipped that girl too much too.

Who cares! Times are tough right? I had a great weekend...might as well make someone's day a little brighter!!!! Got home and fell asleep in my clothes.
Woke up at 11:15am. I think. Couldn't figure it out because the daylight savings time thing was in effect. Is it earlier? Or later?

Dammit. I don't know. I do know this...I look awful and feel almost as bad. But dammit, I need to catch freaking CUB..and I still haven't given up on trying to catch up to Tim Vance for our little POY sidebet I made with him in New Orleans. He is still way ahead..thanks to his win in Copenhagen. But I still have 3 eligible tourneys here at IP and then next month at Venetian. Oh, its November huh? THIS MONTH.

I just found out they added a New Orleans event for December. The same week I will be in the Dominican Republic for the WPT Boot Camp Battle for the Season Pass. And the Lake Tahoe circuit event, that I thought was Dec 1-10th, is actually starting this next week. Strange.

I hope Rounder Magazine doesn't decide to add that New Orleans event to their qualifying schedule. Its hard enough trying to catch Cub without them continuing to shove events on there that I cant attend. Speaking of Cub...he is up in Tulsa too, and from what I can gather not doing too well. He has found time to give me shit on my phone though...always entertaining, that Cub.

You gotta admit, between Him, Me, Gabe and Tim Hebert...we are all really kind of kicking the WORLDS ass this year when it comes to cashes/final tables/POY points. I really think we have some of the BEST players in the world living right here in Biloxi and the surrounding area. I know when I leave here...to go out to Vegas....I am always feeling a lot of relief!

Well, now it is 10:45...and just sitting here talking about poker with you all has gotten me a bit fired up to go and try to win today's tourney. Got a big month coming up in Vegas...and really, it would be nice to get a little money kicked back to my awesome backer before I head out there. She had JUST sent me a check for this event and the next one....I told her to hold it because I was expecting a good run this week. WOW, that was killer. It hasn't got here yet....but when it does, its going on the bulletin board! So this week, I might not be playing for POY and/or ROUNDER points...but I will be playing for some COLD HARD CASH! Nothing wrong with that right!???

Before I forget. There is a kid bartender...working at the IP...his name is JARRET....who makes THE GREATEST DIRTY MARTINI IN THE WORLD! I know...I had about 13 of them on my Halloween Victory March! ALL HAIL JARRET!!!!!!! Oh...also...did anyone catch SNL this weekend? Me either, but I do check out YouTube.com and that clip with John McCain and Sarah "TinaFey" Palin on SNL was absolutely hilarious. What really cracks me up though...is how you have maybe 20% of the people who will just look at something funny and say, YEAH THAT WAS FUNNY.

Then the other 80% are either Hardcore Republicans or DIEHARD Democrats...and it suddenly becomes either "A desperate attempt to win over voters" or "a comedic sensation sure to get McCain elected now." I hate the political slant these clowns place on everything. And no matter HOW this stupid election goes tomorrow, I will just be glad when it is OVER and the commercials stop running. I have to say...Tina Fey is SPOT ON with her Sarah Palin impersonation. Just hilarious. This is kind of interesting too, as much as the media would have you think that Obama is going to win in an almost landslide...

I find these AOL strawpolls to be pretty accurate on most things. And in todays...McCain is KILLING Obama in both popular vote AND Electoral votes. We could be in for a HUGE surprise tomorrow. And if McCain DOES win...oh my gosh....it might be a good day to stay at home and lock your doors! I might actually go and vote now. Talk to you later gang.....time to take a shower and get outa here....... MONKEY