Vegas...

Here we go again....another Main Event, another shot at a REAL WIN.

It has been a very interesting week. First, to update ya'all..yeah Tim Hebert took 4th the other night in the Ceasers Mega Stack. And he took it the hard way. Holding AA a clown raises his BB. Tim re-raises in a fashion that should have made it real clear he had the guy killed.

Moron says "Well, I am really tired so if you got me you got me" and calls with A6. Promptly flops two sixes. Gross. But yeah...another great run for T. Tim is really on his game right now. And I'm delighted to have him firmly locked up in Monkey's Posse!

This week has been something else. This game is so damn humbling. Its 9am out here in Vegas. Until 2:30 am I played yesterdays $275 Mega Satellite into today's Main Event. 7 grueling hours. Starting with 221 players. 22 seats awarded. 23rd getting $1018. 24th getting an attaboy.

With 24 left and me sitting two from the BB...which was now 3000/6000 with a 1000 ante and
me holding 8000 chips...it was looking like another sad ending to a long, protracted Venetian experience. Two other players at my table had less than me, 5K and 7K...but they were afforded the luxury of being three and five players behind me....so they could almost win by folding. I was about to get screwed.

So with 89h under the gun I decide to ship it and hide under the table. NOBODY called but the BB for another 2k. He turns over K5. Board goes 10-10-4....jeez. COME ON! PLEASE! 9 on the turn. 9 on the river! MONKEY WINS! Then in the SB....all in for 3000 guy moves it. I have 23d in the SB and complete for 3. BB has AQ and just checks (smart play). We check it all the way down. ALL IN guy has A3. I win with a 2! Now have a ton of chips and am in little peril.

On the other table..perhaps the STUPIDEST PLAY IN POKER HISTORY takes place. And when it was over I tried to take the guys picture so I could post it on the site here with a big banner under it of "WORLDS STUPIDEST POKER PLAYER...BEWARE!" The BB is all in...we are hand for hand...the lady at my table who is now sitting on TWO THOUSAND CHIPS...will be in the BB all in the NEXT hand. When I try to take this morons pictures he figures it out....and stands up and tries to smack the phone/camera out of my hand. He missed that too. Guy just couldn't connect!

Player A limps for 6000. Player B calls. Player C calls. Player D (for Dumbass) completes the SB for 3000. FOUR players in there to whack this guy and end things. Flop comes. CHECK, CHECK, CHECK and CHECK. Okay. Smart. Turn. Same deal. Four checks. River...2. Small blind...or Donk-O-Saurus Rex...bets out 20K. Huh?

We see Player A holding AQh...for the NUT FLUSH. Realistically he should have just moved in on this assclown. But I like it even better that he didn't so we all would get to see his cards. He smooth calls. Everyone else folds. RETARD has 10-2 and for reasons known only to his imaginary friend has decided it would be a great idea to force everyone out and allow the ALL IN player holding 8-3 offsuit...and the winner (with a 3 on the board) if the other player had NOT had the NUTS...to survive.

We all spent about five minutes laughing about and AT this guy. His reason? No...he did NOT know the guy who was all in. NO it was not his friend/son/relative...anything. He stated..and I quote "I had the chips to make the play." WOW. A play I will never forget.

So we win our seat into today's Main Event. Prior to this Mega starting I got a call from Allie telling me he thought Frank Kassella would be interested in buying me in if I needed a stake. My backer and I really like to limit our direct buyins to events $1000 and lower. Otherwise we try to satellite in. So I had to seriously entertain that offer.

There is nothing worse than playing all the prelim events and then NOT playing the Main Event. Its just kind of humiliating. So I wanted to make sure I locked up that option. So I told Frank if I won the Mega I would still honor our deal. So now that I have won it, I have had to go back to my backer and explain the situation to her. Basically, now I will be playing for 50% with Frank...and of my 50%...I will split THAT with my backer.

So really? I am just mostly playing for POY points, pride, respect and glory...and a stupid plastic trophy. I just about have to get Top 5 to assure myself of anything remotely resembling a 'decent' cash. But it was more important to me to NOT burn a good bridge in the poker world. I made a deal, I have to honor it. I'm not a weasel. And after talking to my backer about it this morning, I have her support, so that's all that really matters. We are guaranteed of leaving Vegas tomorrow (or Tuesday if I final table this thing and change my flight) with a healthy bankroll still.

Its been a strange week. On Tuesday I played the Main Event at Ceasers. It was not a good day. I had AK 8 times...won with it ONCE. I did get a bad player to pay me off with a boat when I knew he had a nut flush...and that won me enough to keep me around through the dinner break. But after the break I made a play at a guy who we'll call the Swedish Elf. This guy keeps popping up everywhere. My tourneys. My sit n gos. The restaurants I choose to dine.

He wont leave me alone. Short little dude, with dark hair and frosted tips. Short eyelashes. Small, tiny little elf hands.Anyway...I thought I had a read on this guy that he was stealing...and holding AQ I shipped my stack into his cutoff raise and he insta-called with AK. Great. It held, and I was done in that one.

Called Allie and told him I was out. He called me pathetic and advised me to go home and kill myself. Instead I told him I was going to Venetian...that I still had 22 minutes to get into the nightly $120 over there. He ridiculed me some more. I made it in time. I could give you the short version, or the long version.

Lets choose the short version. After being put in a ten hand penalty for something very stupid...and holding only 4100 chips, and 300/600 blinds...I went ballistic. I got the Tournament Supervisor to reduce the penalty and only missed one round of blinds. What happened was the button shoved all in. I had a decent price to call...not a great one. And said as much. I said...."lets see if I can give you action here....first one.....(as I turn it over) is a 5. Ahhh...second one....is a 6...suited" Hmmmmmmm! Well, Sam the tourney floor walks by and calls me out on the 'exposing your hand' infraction and tells me I will have a penalty after the hand.

JEEZUZ CHRIST! So...I call only because I want to either have enough to weather the storm or get blinded out. I flop a 6. He rivers his J...and I am screwed. But I got the thing reduced because I made a valid argument. You have us down to 2 tables and you are going to end my tourney on a chippy penalty? I got back in...went on a tear....and won the damn tournament. We did a save for $2000 each and played heads up for $550.

After an hour heads up we finally decided to end the madness and chop that too. I graciously tipped the floor $100 and the dealers $200...and took $2000 home. I get $1000. So basically I tipped out 30%. The other guy tipped a total of $30. Overtipping?? There are always reasons for it. Today's reason is this:

Instead of sitting around last night....with our players card...waiting...LIKE WE ALWAYS DO at the end of a MEGA...for the tourney directors to handle the whole 'getting us registered for the next day's event' I instead hand my players card and a $20 tip to the main guy and ask if I can please go home and get some sleep and get my shit in the morning. "No problem Monkey." Yahtzee. I guarantee you those guys were stuck there til 4am waiting out that process. Ugh. Not me. I was sleeping!

I played on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday...and had ZERO luck. Its good that I did this as a recap...because had I done a day by day thing...I think some of you would have been about to kill yourself just reading it! The bottom line is that I was continuously chipping up early only to run into disaster late.

I run that way at Venetian a LOT. I have logged more LIVE tourney hours at the Venetian for only about 4 or 5 cashes in the last two years. Its gross. The players at this event are a very strange makeup. You have 15% good/solid players. My favorite. WILL fold a decent hand. WILL respect a position raise. Then you have 40-45% average run of the mill players. You will take a lot of bad beats from these people. Just good enough to maybe cash, but also just good enough to make a stupid call and end your day.

The remaining 40% of the field is what cause us good players to smash our heads against the wall. Over-raising. Over calling. Shoving instead of raising. Calling with any ace. Calling if they are getting "pot odds." Calling if they are suited. Calling because "they are tired." Calling because they want to whack the Monkey. I hate these people and really wish they would vanish!

I really hope I have a good tourney today. I would like a decent score and decent momentum push as I head for the Dominican next week to play in that WPT Battle for the Season Pass deal. After that I will pretty much be 'on the rack' for the rest of the season. I will have three weeks to try and win this damn PCA trip in the Bahamas.

I really want to win that thing, especially since the boys at the Beau Rivage still haven't opened the doors to me to return there. I have no IDEA what the hell is going on there. Am I supposed to go in there begging to let me back? Are they just going to let me know I can come back? Why didn't they EVER respond to my email? It really makes me sad. It really makes me want to move to Vegas.

If I could get Squirrel a job out here, find a decent house....why wouldn't I? Stay in Biloxi for what? I just wish I knew what was going on in Johnny and Ken's head. I wont say anything bad about them because I like and respect them both. It really makes this all very hard. I wish I hated them both so I could sit here and spew nasty comments about them. But I just don't. The whole MGM mess just kind of follows me around like a black cloud.

Players asking me about it all the time. What do I tell them? I really want to play the January event. I don't know...maybe when the new year comes around they will surprise me with a olive branch. I hope so. But in the mean time...its time to ride the exercise bike for half an hour....and go try to win the Venetian Main Event. Hope you all are having a good weekend!

MONKEY