Monkey Has Some New Threads

Its Monday. Me, Allie Prescott, and Matt Brady...winner of the Aruba Classic are all sitting around the TV at home watching MNF...they are playing the $1K nightly on Full Tilt, I am contemplating multi-tabling on Stars but leaning towards finishing my latest awesome novel....Protect And Defend (Vince Flynn), great book. I was going to play the Full Tilt deal, but when trying to log in for the first time in maybe two months...I get a message telling me I have to contact customer service. WTF? I emailed them...and of course, have heard nothing back. Wondering if this may somehow have something to do with that Jon Little/AIM/2+2 bullshit. Guess we will find out...not that I really give a rat shit, since I never play on there anyway.

Something very unusual has just occurred. I have failed to step foot in a casino now for two consecutive days. While in Las Vegas. I'm pretty sure, and this includes my 6-week visits for the WSOP....that this is the first time I have resisted the casino/poker for two full days.

Friday and Saturday's tourneys were both bummers. $540 buy ins. Played long and got deep in both, only to lose on disappointing river beats. On Saturday, after I lost, I jumped into a $240 SNG...hoping to recoup both my FRI/SAT buy ins and maybe feel encouraged to play in the Sunday dime at Venetian. That went well. KJ off. Limp in behind a couple of limpers...not a hand I want to get nutty with. Then the flop comes K-K-7...2 diamonds. Wow. Check...Check....hell, I check(trap, I hope) too...no one bets. Hmmmph. Turn is a damn diamond...four to the flush. SB bets out. Gets a call. Next guy....Lonnie the dealer (not dealing in this game obv!) calls....time to bump it up. I raise pretty substantially. Now the SB goes ALL IN. Lovely. This clown must have a baby flush. Next guy folds. Lonnie does something very bizarre. He CALLS? Leaves 250 behind. Interesting. Well, I am certain now that I am somehow beat....pockets 7's? Other guy has a damn flush. I do have the J of diamond so maybe if I hit a diamond I'm good. Or I'm drawing dead already. So I decide to go for the J. Besides...there is too much in there. First guy has 46d. Great. Correct there. Lonnie has KQ. Ahhh shit. River is another diamond. So I win the sidepot and knock out Lonnie...but now am very short. I go out a short time late with AQ vs AK.

Decide to play a little cash game. And drink. And wait out Tim Hebert...who is getting very deep in the Noon Tourney and who is wanting to go out with us that night. We all had a table at the Cathouse at Luxor...Me, JD, SMOKE, and some other people I didn't know very well. I waited on Tim. It was starting to look like he was going to make another final table. Tim's a good player. I love watching him play. Not because he reminds me of myself...but because he's funny. He uses some of the same weapons I do. Funny dude. And he's pretty dialed in right now. He ends up getting totally fucked in this tourney. In the BB with JJ...the SB shoves all in for 110K. Tim has 185K and calls this 'tard. Guy has A2. Cute. River card? You know it. So now instead of having around 300K he is looking at 85K shortstack. Two hands later and with 14 left...he picks up AKsuited....Tommy "I used to have nothing and now I have all DIS" VU min raises with 78....Tim ships it for 85K....dipshit calls and of course, hits his 8 to put Tim on the rail. Brutal.

We drive over to Luxor and head into Cathouse. It was pretty crowded. I hate clubbing in Vegas on the weekends. Its too much of a cluster fuck. But at least we have a table. They held some Miss Nevada bullshit earlier that night and they were all conglomerated at the table next to us. Then I'm looking over there and I see Brandon Cantu. How funny. I lost his number when I lost my phone so this was handy. He now has a girlfriend. Pretty hot girl. We chatted for awhile. He invited us over for Mimosa's and football on Sunday and then either he left or I did. One of the two. Of those girls with the pageant only one of them was worth a damn. Miss Arizona. She was tall, had a nice rack...and seemed to have her shit together. But then she started dancing. Holy shit. It was like watching Elaine Bettis! Not that I was entertaining any shenanigans or anything...but when you're 41 and feeling more and more like an ugly toad everyday, its nice when you can get a hot bitch to talk to you even for 5 minutes!

Couple of chicks from Dallas who I guess JD and Smoke met and knew in the two months they were living there before moving out here and renting Kathy Liebert's house and making Vegas their home base showed up and demonstrated just how fucking weird a woman can get while drinking alcohol. First I listened to Smoke tell me how much he loves me, and how much he loves Squirrel...so I now know JUST how hammered HE is. Then he tells me how this girl has basically been begging him to fuck her for three days and how he continues to blow her off. Well, at some point she decided to park herself on my lap and start telling me how wonderful I was, and how mean Charlie was. It was about this time that I realized her cleavage wasn't really cleavage, but a fucking SCAR! Huh? I was just drunk enough to ask her "what's up with the scar?" Turns out this broad had OPEN HEART FREAKING SURGERY a couple years ago. NICE! No, this lady was not old. Then she starts in on her job, what she hates about everything....I was either going to kill HER or MYSELF. I had to figure out a way to get away. Tim was the clever one...he managed to somehow vanish. I texted him on my BRAND NEW, JUST acquired (for another $400) that day Blackberry...to ask WTF he was. He had already made his way to the Rhino. I was invited. They had Grey Goose and a table. Hmmm.....sounded....almost enticing.

Alas, I decided I preferred to go home. Get some sleep. Save some money. Everytime I go to that damn place it ends up being more money spent than I would care to admit to. So I chose the "go home and visit the internet" option instead. A lot cheaper, and the girls never hassle you to go to the Champagne Room. I call Squirrel, feeling very proud of myself and my decision to go home. She is at Venues, across the street from the Beau...and she is S-H-I-T-F-A-C-E-D! Wow. I couldn't talk to her....mainly because of the noise in the background and my inability to understand ANYthing she was saying. She finally went home with THE CLAW and her friend Brandy...and they had a chick slumber party. Take it easy boys...I know, I was thinking the same thing. Didn't happen! ;) She would follow that up by sleeping til 6 the next day and having a little party at Monkey's crib later that night. I think she has done all my Vegas Partying FOR ME while I have been here.

Molly continues to terrorize the house, the yard and Jasper. Its all Squirrel wants to talk about.

I would like to thank PHILLY and CINCY for that tie, which caused a bit of a firestorm within my various Survivor Pools. Of course the people who got to SURVIVE despite not 'winning' felt happy. But then there were the handful of jackasses who insisted that since they DIDNT WIN they should be out. Some people are just pricks, basically. Nice to hear that several members of the Eagles didn't even KNOW they HAD TIES in the NFL! Great...had they known...maybe they try harder to score?

I wake up on Sunday and decide I do NOT feel like playing the $1K at Venetian. Instead we go to meet Frank at Red Rock Casino and watch the football games. Nice ending to that Pittsburgh game. That didn't cost me much! Lets call it $2500. Then we go to Franks house and have a Kassella Family Single Table Tourney...with a whopping $20 buy in. I chase a flush and lose early to THE PRESCOTT. He would eventually lose to the youngest daughter.

Today (Monday) we had a day that has caused Squirrel to start calling me and Allie a couple of girls. We stayed up all night 'chatting' about 'stuff.' We then woke up and went grocery shopping. Came back to the house and watched CALIFORNICATION....pretty funny show. Then it was time to follow up on my promise to take Allie shopping for clothes. THE REINVENTING OF THE PRESCOTT. Or the Allie Makeover. Whatever you want to call it. The mission was a total failure, unless you consider me getting myself an entire wardrobe a victory...which, of course, I did. Pretty sure Allie is a lost cause in the fashion department.

Who is Jerome Harrisson and what is he doing running 75 yards for a touchdown for Cleveland? Wow. Nice "D" Buffalo.

Marc Ecko is a great store. And their clothes are relatively cheap. Which resulted in 6 new hooded sweatshirts, 2 dress shirts, 4 casual shirts, and a pair of jeans. When I get new clothes, it gets me excited. That, I suppose...is VERY chick-like. Whatever. Monkey has new duds. Ready to play now! I am rested, I am newly clothed, my head is free of bad beats and all that it entails.....lets ROCK!

Tomorrow is looking like a coin flip. Play the $340 at Venetian, or play the $1000 Main Event of the poorly organized, poorly attended Ceasers Palace Mega Stacks tourney. They still have that horseshit structure of theirs where they fail to introduce antes into play until the 600/1200 level...when the antes are 100. So stupid. Those ass clowns over there are completely clueless. Why? Why in the hell, with only 2 weeks since their Ceasers Classic, do they feel they need to compete with Venetian by slamming in their own event to compete with Venetians? And then run it like shit? I have come to a very iron-clad conclusion that what it has to be is that they employ morons in their marketing department, whose jobs it is to compete with the other casinos. So instead of concentrating on the fact that they are cannibalizing poker by deluding the field, they instead have to justify their existence by going heads up with Venetian in the same time slot, and see who gets better numbers. Hopefully, this latest episode will be enough to get Gary Loveman to get control of the situation. (highly doubtful)

I swear...PLEASE LET ME RUN SOMEONES POKER ROOM FOR ONE MONTH and watch how profitable I make it. You cannot have dipshits from business school making decisions about poker policy when they aren't even POKER PLAYERS! this is, of course...AGAIN...why I was such a bad employee in my earlier life. Because I am usually smarter than most of the assholes I worked for, and when making conclusions that are both FACT based and COMMON SENSE based...I would always lose out to the "That is our Policy" way of things. Enough to make you want to firebomb the place you worked, as well as the car of the person responsible for making you nuts!

I think I am done with this entry. Allie and Brady are both OUT of the FULL TILT debacle. I think I will go to Ceaser's in the morning, see how many are signed up...and decide then what I want to do. At any rate...I haven't capped a final table out here yet...and time is running out on me. I have a week. I need three to pass Gabe and Cub. Cub is supposed to be coming out here...and I think is staying here at Hotel Prescott. Remains to be seen. Maybe if I make two final tables to tie him...I can tie him up in the garage for the next 5 days. Might be the only way to keep that little bastard off the final table!

I hope to have some good updates the next few days. Stay tuned. Monkey has new clothes!