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Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Happy New Year...Back in the Beau.

Well, here it is January 22nd, Sunday. Later today...4 of the best QB's in the NFL today take the field in the NFC and AFC Championship games. Sadly...my Seahawks will not be there for the 2nd year in a row after a run of consecutive Super Bowl appearances. Even sadder, was last Monday night...watching Alabama control Clemson most of the night only to get 'Vince Young'd' at the end and having their 17th National Title snared away from them by the hungry Tigers. Our home was in mourning for a few days. (yeah so...I finished this post a little bit later. We now know our two Super Bowl opponents are New England and Atlanta. Should be good)

This weekend, we celebrated...well, half of America did anyway, the Inauguration of our 45th; and easily the most polarizing and controversial, President of the United States...The Donald. The Trumpster. Or all the names the liberal folks decided to label him. It went smoothly, no terrorist attacks. Madonna didn't blow up the White House, despite threats to do so. There was bickering about crowd sizes, about the talent level of the concert performers...and of course, what event in the new USA wouldn't be complete without some good 'ol fashioned rioting and looting!!! Even more ironic was watching these collective group of asshole Millennial's as they threw a garbage can through the window of their iconic gathering place...Starbuck's. If that didn't make you laugh...well, that's just impossible! Then Saturday...we had a march...a march that was originally planned to be a 'I'm With Her' victory march for Hillary Clinton...as she was completely expected by everyone to be taking the oath this weekend. But just like all that money that was spend on fireworks that were never used, the champagne on ice that was never popped...this parade turned out to NOT be a victory celebration, but instead, a part to protest Trump's being elected. Oh sure...some tried to put a pretty shine on it, saying it was just 'an expression by woman to voice their concerns about their human rights' etc etc etc? It just came up sounding lame...especially when women who voted for Trump were kept OUT of the proceedings, as if they don't have the same needs and concerns as women who voted for Clinton. This was simply another reason to scream, yell and stomp their feet in anger and frustration that their party wasnt good enough, or their candidate strong enough...to beat what was easily the biggest joker the GOP has ever put up on the ticket! Sorry...but knowing what I know now about liberals? That just cracks me up even further!!!!

So the event, the Million Dollar Heater, has just concluded at the Beau Rivage. I had mixed results in my week there. In the first multi-day, multi-flight event...I somehow, miraculously managed to play just ONE bullet...and bag a good amount of chips. After a day off I came back for Day 2. I didn't play very long...it's been over a week so I've forgotten what occurred...but I lost early, finished somewhere around 200th place...for an eerie amount of prize money, $666 in my first tourney back to the Beau after five years.

The next event I played was the Omaha 8 or Better. I started pretty bad...but once I gathered momentum...I pretty much cruised to the Final Table. I came into the final table with the chiplead...but then it ended up being ONE OF THOSE final tables....all good hands went up in smoke. If I flopped a great hand with outs to get better...I'd miss all those outs...while they would hit some crazy miracle card. Or if I was behind but only needed 17-23 outs...I seemed to miss them...every time. And at those blind levels...that can't happen very often before you are out of chips. I ended up busting a disappointing 6th place for $1500. But hey...at least I was 2 for 2 so far.

The week would just go downhill from there. I played deep in the Monster...only to bust on Day 2 in...if I recall...45th? Something like 9 from the money if I recall? Then basically the same thing happened in the Mini-Monster. Can't remember how many it was paying...or where I went out...but it was within 10. Another bag up for Day 2, only to come back and bust. I had a run with AA over Friday and Saturday where I went 0 for 6 at one point....and finished that run 10 for 12...that's LOSING with aces, 10 out of 12 times that I had them. It was pretty sickening. I kept losing...of all hands, to KQ.

Then, after bubbling (or close to it) in the Little Monster, I directly bought into the Main, Flight A. What a freaking train wreck. I've tried to put it out of my memory. But I do know I lost with AA not once, not twice, but three times! I also flopped a straight and lost. Turned a flush and lost. Flopped a set and lost to a bigger set. Honestly...I have no idea how I made it to Level 5...but I did. I finally busted before the 2nd break...when in a blind vs blind situation, I moved in for 8k vs.Houston Carter...who literally puts an entire table on life-tilt in about 10 minutes no matter where he goes. Asks if I want a loose call...which pretty much ANY call he makes for more than 2.5x the blinds IS anyway. "Sure...give me a loose call....I need a double up." So he calls...with Q4. I flop a King...feeling pretty good...pretty safe. He turns a four...and rivers a four....and I just have to laugh.

I go play the 3pm $355 Mega Satellite. It would eventually end up paying 5 seats..with the 6th person getting $970. Care to predict where I finished? I'll just tell you. I finished 7th! I went from feeling relatively comfortable with my stack...to losing to a shortstack...me with ACES (again!) and them with 66. I blind down a few orbits...and am now in desperation mode...with 7 people left. This guy raises three hands in a row...and I look down at 55. I have to take a stand. Dammit. I shove all in vs. his raise. He tells me "You're going to be SO mad at me....I have to call." Oh. Just aces? That's it. How wonderful. I don't improve. Bubble boy!!!!

Bubble Boy decided to go play some cash game...and that did not go well either. I did, however enjoy my comped meal. That might as well have been the highlight...as I think I dropped about $800 in there that night. I like the new location of the poker room. More spacious, and a cool feeling to it with the brick walls and stuff. On the weekends, yes it's a little loud, with Coast being right next door...but oh well...bring your headphones if you don't like noise.

SO I show up the next morning ready to have a good run. Allen Kessler again ducks my Last Longer offer...which had kind of been blowing up all over Facebook. After he made some slapdick comment on his Facebook page, trying to sell pieces of himself for the BR Main...he mused about how 'soft' the field would be at the Beau. So I took exception with his claim...and took it up another notch by offering to play him for a $5000 last longer. But of course, Allen being Allen, he decides to make it all about math and a bunch of other factors that basically just added up to him being too scared to take me up on it. Once I busted on Day 1A...which he also played...he inaccurately ripped me on his wall..saying I had burned two bullets already...I guess when he saw me bust out of the Little Monster he assumed that was the Main. Then he tells his wall buddies I busted at 100/200...again, not true...close...but not true. It was 150-300! And he ends up busting not too long after me...so I had the thrill of having 'ComplainSaw' seated right over my left shoulder on Saturday for Flight B.

He would end up back at my table for the last level of the night...and I watched him go broke with his 55 vs 10-10 when he figured he might be good on a rag-infested board and a straight and flush draw. Other guy had the 10 of diamonds to counter his 10 of diamonds. And no cards came to help him make a straight, or a set...and Allen was busto. I'm not sure who's happier that he didn't take a last-longer bet with me...him or me! I know if I had won...he would have attempted to pay me with a plethora of free play and comps and other shit I had/have no use for!!!! That would have been sheer hell!!!

SO I end up bagging 143k that night. I came back with 58 players....paying 18. The day started pretty smooth. I won exactly ONE hand in the first level...K10...that I got to see in the big blind....betting top pair, getting called...then going runner runner 10-K and getting no more action. Bummer. Then I sat there card dead as a mofo, and not getting into any good spots where I could raise to steal some rounds of blinds. But we were also losing players pretty rapidly...as you always seem to do in those tourneys. When we got to about 30 players I finally started getting some hands. I picked up JJ...and after raising 2.5x...I get shoved on by TK Miles...with a semi-short stack...holding 66. It was a tough tough spot. But after having played with TK for years...I knew...that HE knew...that I was the one person he could most likely get to fold a hand that strong to his shove. I hated calling...but I did..and was thrilled to see an underpair...which didn't manage to hit a two-outer on me. Now I had some breathing room, finally.

I picked up another few pots and was now over 200k and really liking my chances...despite the field being incredibly stacked with talent. Frankly, I have always preferred to play against better players in big tourneys.

That is when the shit hit the fan. Tara Snow was sitting on about 15 big blinds. I will assume since she has never played against me...and doesn't know that I don't screw around on the button by raising with shitty cards...that she thought when she called my raise (and me holding KK) with her KJ that she was golden when the flop came J-8-4 rainbow. So she check raises me all in. I call of course...and when the dealer was kind enough to deliver a jack on the turn...she felt like a genius, I felt oh great...here we go again...and instead of being up to close to 400k...I was back down to 145k. Then our table breaks. We go to a table where she is seated next to a guy I've never liked. Aaron Massey. Why don't I like him? No special reason. I just find him annoying. He's short, and I never seem to click with most short men. And the way he acts in mid-hand is extremely irritating. Ive watched him play a lot, too...so nothing he does ever comes as a surprise. So of course...the festivities get started with me raising under the gun with AQ suited. I get a ridiculous 4 calls....from the table full of call stations...then it comes to him and he goes into his 'terrified ferret' act. The look at the cards. The shuffling in the seat. The eyes growing larger...the breathing unsettled...chest bowing up...eyes darting all over the table...oh for fucks sake, DeNiro...DO SOMETHING!!!!

He does...he re-raises the shit out of it. Well, I've seen this little act from this little shithead too many times to even WANT to give him credit for a hand. And since I have about 235k and he has only 105k...I think I can blow up his big plan by just moving all in on his ass. Which is what I do. The other four fold, of course...as I expect him to do. Only he doesnt. Nope. He snap calls and arrogantly turns over two kings. Hmmm...isn't that marvelous. The dealer and eye look into each others eyes...him being the guy who just gave the gal a two-outer jack on the other table to beat my hand not too long ago. I say to him...."throw me ace here and all is forgotten sir!" Naw. Why would he want to do THAT? Instead...the flop comes K-J-J! Oh...okay. How nice. Here you go, troll...take 105k off my stack.

Then I sit there, seething a little bit, and I hear him chit-chatting with Tara some more...and I'm not certain about what hes saying...but its annoying me, whatever it is. About this time...once again under the gun...and now down to about 28 players (paying 18....good for $4500'ish, with $150k going to 1st) I pick up AJ suited...and raise from 800/1600 to 5200. Again, I get two callers. And Tara is one of them.. Well? I have KJ smashed preflop!!! Then here comes the 'Terrified Ferret' again. Oh lord. Goes through the whole act again. And raises a bunch, again. I'm so tempted to shove. But decide I can wait for a better spot. I fold. Everyone folds. I hear the two of them talking...she says she almost re-raised...which he responds to by saying if she had re-raised, he would have folded. Huh? So your telling me I should have folded when I shoved...and I should have shoved when I folded? Yep...about what it felt and sounded like. SHIT!

So I go another couple orbits without anything to play. Then...finally...and once again under the gun...I get pocket jacks. And I'm not down to about 22 big blinds. I raise. I get two callers. And this time, SHE does the Massey-like re-raise...and after sitting and watching the two of them chat for the past hour...all I can think, is that she is basically getting tutored by the little troll..and he has taught her that move. So, that probably has as much to do with my move to ship back over the top as anything. That and I was just sick of getting pushed around by that end of the table. Maybe I could have folded there. I don't know. But this time? Of course...she has AA. Of course she does. And unlike her...I don't get any help from the dealer by handing me a jack or two. How nice that would have been.

I was out. 25th. 7 from the money. I was feeling pretty bummed out. Thought about jumping into the last event...that 200 plus a bunch of juice tourney...but I knew in my head that I wouldn't be bringing anything resembling my 'A' game...so I just kept on walking out the door, and went home. I wanted to get as far away from that tourney as I could. As fate would have it...she would end up winning the whole tourney...and $150,000. I dont know if they made any kind of chop deal or not. She got heads up with Kyle Cartwright...and exceptional player who everyone expected would win....but the cards just really, really, REALLY went her way for the whole session. Seems it was her 'one time' to run good in a big tourney. I had a few pretty well known, good players tell me they had encountered her recently up at Pearl River...and that she was known for playing KJ really hard. Makes sense. I will assume it's her favorite hand.  Well...good for her. She does live in Tuscaloosa, so I can only assume she is an Alabama fan...so after our loss in the National Title game...I'm sure that money and that win helped ease her suffering as a Bama fan...as it would have mine!!!

But for me? Just another two-day deep run gone up in smoke. But...if you know anything about poker...you know that this is just how cruel the game can be to you. A lot! In fact...most of the time!!! So, now? Now that I don't play with the pressure of HAVING to win...or some bills might not get paid? It's mostly just the losing that irks me. Which I guess is a nice place to be, mentally, when playing the game. During the week I was able to have some fun, have some nice conversations with some people I actually missed seeing in poker. Also saw some very funny things. I wish I could have shared some photos, but I think we all know the history with me and posting pictures of people on my blog! One of my favorites of the week, though...had to be the guy who we ALL know...I mean...can I just say: If you are known to a large group of people? And you decide to go out and buy a toupee? Is that REALLY the group of people you want to try it out on!??? This guy walked by my table in the first weekend, during a sit n go...and I was look and am like...."isn't that...wait...whoa...what the...." and had a guy next to me finish the sentence for me, "yeah man....that's what you think it is! No idea who he thinks he's foolin!" I'll tell you what...if you are looking to be a huge millionaire? Come up with a toupee that isn't so painfully obvious that it's a...well...toupee! 

It's now Wednesday...and we are minutes away from leaving for...ugh...Orlando. Last year...we went to Disney the week before the Super Bowl...and apparently, my wife thought it was so wonderful, she decided she wanted me to take everyone back again. Only this time...we've flown my brother down from Seattle to join us. Jimmy. My special needs brother who basically sees through me and only sees my wife...or 'Seester' to him. Who he has an obvious crush on. So while his being handicapped status should move us up to the front of most lines...he will turn our journey through the theme parks into a crawl...as he putters around at a clip of about half a mile and hour. Its painful. But don't feel bad for me. I got all my pain pill prescriptions renewed, and refilled...AND...rented a motorized scooter for down there. Isn't there some kind of universal name for those things? Hover-round? Land Yacht? Is it motorized scooter? I assume you all know what I'm referring to. Anyway...because I'm sensitive about people looking at me with the stink eye when they see what on the outside looks like a perfectly healthy man...even though they have no idea what lurks beneath the skin with my two bad knees or my shot-to-hell lower back and the three bulging discs and two arthritic vertebrae, I feel compelled to slap a knee brace on my leg just to give them a sign that I've earned the right to pay $176 to rent this bitch for 4 days!!!! Hey...whatever it takes to cut down on the hate!!!! I can promise I will be feeling a LOT BETTER when I get home THIS year...than I did LAST YEAR!!!!

As for poker? I really entertained going up to Choctaw to play that Main Event. But I was too burnt out and tired from the event at the Beau...and didn't even bother with it. I know they have a pretty juicy (it would appear) coming up at Boomtown in New Orleans this coming weekend...but alas, since I will be in Orlando going heads-up with Mickey and his crew of Extortionists...I will have to miss that one too. Next on my possible hit list...despite the fact my mother would like me to come visit her and my sister in tropical Milwaukee for that WSOP event at a casino I can't pronounce....is West Palm Beach WSOP. I might have to package that request to my wife as it being my 50th birthday gift to myself. Hanging out with my boys and playing a little poker while betting on the doggies like a real old fucker! Picture it! So yeah...that is what I will be angling for! West Palm in the middle of February. This Monkey officially becomes an OMRG and eligible for OMRG events on February 16th. Beleeee-dat! It's freaking me out...I can't lie.

Okay...gotta pack, before this woman has an aneurysm. 

MONKEY