Saturday, Day 4 of WSOP...and the $1k at Venetian.

Well, its the homestretch here in Sin City...things are heating up. Day 4 in the WSOP...and as I scroll down the list of remaining players I see a lot of familiar names, both to the average Joe and to us guys who frequent every event and hang out with other poker players. I've sent out my good morning, good luck text messages and Facebook greetings to guys like Brent Catalano, a buddy of mine from the Atlanta area who is sitting in REALLY good shape heading back with 513k, to Matt Brady, Mike Beasley, TK Miles, David Diaz, Dan Schmeich of Houston, Mark Wilds, and then to be a good sport I even gave a little shout out to our favorite guy to make fun of and clown, Phil Hellmuth himself...whose Facebook status updates have been borderline nauseating! But he is in good shape to go deep. As are a few other top pros like Phil Ivey. Elky Grospellier is just destroying the field. Man...that guy is a freakin beast, isnt he? I've had a chance to get to know Dennis Phillips this summer, a really nice guy. It's pretty cool to see him deep with a nice stack. Maybe he will shake that 'one hit wonder' tag from a year ago if he can cash deep again.



Just heard back from Brent. He says he made the TV table with Joe Hachem yesterday...sure he made some extra coin for that. Awesome. And TK just texted back...dissappointed that he doesn't have around 400k, but we both have confidence he can make a late run. He also has a UFC ticket available that he hopefully won't be able to use, priced at $550...that takes place at 4:30 at Mandalay. I would LOVE to see a UFC fight, and will go if I bust...but I plan on NOT being out that early at Venetian today. But hey, if I take a bad beat I take a bad beat.



Well, so anyway...good luck to all those guys today, I know they all have to be pretty anxious and excited. I can begin to feel the large throngs starting to leave Vegas. It was just like this last year...as people get knocked out of the Main Event...and others start getting to the bottom of their bankroll. Event numbers start getting smaller and smaller. I spent two hours at the pool yesterday morning and just couldn't resist the temptation to go back and try for another win in the Venetian $550.



I arrived and bought in and was handed my ticket...TABLE 60!!!!! Oh my God! The Table of Doom! Seated one table over was Maurice Hawkins, my primary competition in the Leaderboard chase for Best All Around Player. Joe Cutler and McLean Karr arrived just after I did. Mike Terrill made his 'final forray' for the summer, badly needing a cash. Things would start well for me. I had a table with three women, who were so predictable, raising 4x with what we ALL knew was either JJ/QQ/KK/AA or AK....and getting called by everyone and anyone that had a pair or suited connectors, then getting drilled. I called a UTG 4x raise by this cow...knowing she had QQ or JJ....me with 10-10, and perfectly content to fold if I missed. I didn't. Flop came 10-7-3 rainbow. She led out on that 'perfect' board for her. Knowing she would pay off...I didn't even bother smooth callling her. I raised her 1200 bet to 2500...and she immediately shipped her whole stack. No!?? Did she really? Of course she did. She turns over....??? Duh...JJ. See ya.



I hung around for 7 levels. Then when I saw Maurice get punched out....after Mike had lost and Joe had lost...and then McLean....I sort of lost my sense of urgency a little. Made a bad fold after raising this French chick kept shipping on me every time I raised her BB. Then I made a bad read and a bad call on a guy who moved in UTG...with only 8bb's and thinking my AJ suited may have been the best hand...and with me sitting on half the average thought it would be a good spot to at least get back to average if I was right. Things went totally haywire when the guy behind me insta-called us both with QQ. Ouch. That ended the day for me there.



Joe and McLean and I walked around trying to figure out our next move. Unbeknownst to me, there was a nice little $540 nightly tourney at Bellagio that started at 7. 10,000 starting chips, great structure...and registration open til MIDNIGHT! Wow, really? Wish I'd known that when I was busting out at 11pm three nights in a row at Venetian earlier this week. So we climbed in my car and shot over there. Walked in to the Fontana room and immediately saw a bevvy of top players...who were there playing the noon Bellagio Cup $5k event. McLean and I got seated at the same table...along with 'Prince' Gaspar from the New Orleans Main Event. It was a pretty good table. First place, with 112 players would end up topping out at 18k. Nice, juicy little payout. I'd get low early...then win a few pots. And with the last hand before our second break...and me sitting on 8k...I pulled a sweet little move. In the SB and having peeked at AsKs...6 players limped in for 800 when I announced..."Okay, I am all in dark! Hope I have something playable!" I get two callers....KQ and J10 suited. Nice. I hit an ace and triple up to over 25k. How nice!



Seated in the 8 seat was this fat Euro who was an obvious cash game player. I was in the 6 seat. On one hand I would raise 3x with AQ...only to have this jackass reraise me 4x...but then the BB wakes up with KK and re-raises all in the same amount...to which I fold, and the fat euro prick insta folds....getting less than 2 to 1 to call. Total thief. Jerk. So when I looked down at QQ a few hands later...and made the same raise...only to have fatty do the SAME thing again...followed by a SMOOTH call by the BB....ridiculous play there....it was easy for me to go over the top ALL IN for 14k MORE....only to be followed by two FLAT CALLS...the second guy leaving himself with only 6k after that. So strange. I'm now thinking...holy crap...what am I up against. When an ACE hit the flop I KNEW I had to be dead. Whats funny is that these clowns CHECKED IT DOWN after the ACE hit! So weird. EURO FAT would have A10...you heard me....ACE TEN...and second clown had JJ. I was out. But at least I was ahead, with an excellent chance to chip up to around 48k right there with the average at 27k and only 32 players left. Whatever. I was out. McLean still had a fat stack when I left, and Joe was in decent shape too. Not sure how they made out. I'll find out today.



Wow, is it now seriously 11:30 am already? Damn! I need to try and get over there on time today....those early levels are a great opportunity to chip up early. And with hour levels...a guy can do some serious work early. I might have the Overall locked up with Maurice going out yesterday. Not sure...maybe I can get the guys at Venetian to update the standings today. The thought of winning that thing has me very excited. That and shooting up the POY leaderboard, hopefully inside of the TOP 100 if my calculations are correct. And we finally had a current issue of Rounder Magazine show up here...and I am NOWHERE to be found in ANY of the standings...thats a bummer. But this Venetian run should change that too. At least I've given them more PUB, as I was sporting my Rounder hat for the Cardplayer photo they took at the end of the recent win. I wish I would have had my GCP hat with me that day, I would have quickly put that one on. Sorry boys...that was kind of stupid of me not to grab that hat that morning. Please don't fire me as a blogger!!!!!



Okay...thats it for me...going for one more BIG SCORE today...then tomorrow is Mega Satellite day for the $5k Main Event that starts on Monday. Hopefully though, I will make it back for Day 2 of the $1k, win a bunch of money, and just buy in direct for $5k, not worrying about Mega'ing my way in! Stay tuned!



MONKEY

Bring that Cheesecake Home Baby!!!!!

Ohhhhh Yeahhhhhhh!!! It looks like a slice of cheesecake, and it eluded me last Thursday...when Duy the Dipshit escaped the building with it, after signing for MORE money, but finishing 3rd....I was left feeling pretty empty and incomplete. Not the case last night. After holding it, petting it, talking to it, and keeping it sitting on the table near me, with on of my monkey's perched atop it looking out over the felt...it is now sitting right here next to my bed, the result of an 8 hour roller coaster ride that finished with me limping in with KK....and having my heads up opponent go broke with A5 on a flop of 235, turn 6, river 6....to close out a sweet, sweet victory.

What made it all the more sweet was the amount of tremendous support I had yesterday. It started with Kai Landry coming in late with another inspiring pep talk...which now makes me 3 for 3 on Final Table finishes when his speeches proceeded my 'March to the Promised Land'....I will give you his juicy rant later in this entry. I started the day 13th out of 21 players. On the first hand of the game I would raise with A9 on the button, and have a guy in the BB shove all in on me with K3. Yeah. King Three. Guy bagged his chips, sleeps (I assume) then comes back at 4...presumeably rested and ready to play deep, then ships it with K3. Very weird. Stranger was him not hitting two of his live cards.

I would get up to 650k from my starting stack of 245. Then I made a play that was either (a) brilliant and a great read or (b) retarded and never to be done again! We had a kid from England who came in with a ton of chips, and insisted on opening about every 2 out of 3 pots with a raise, position not important. People were keying on this and started re-shipping on the guy. On one hand, I raised UTG+1 with JJ...around to him, where he 3 bet me. Back to me and I just moved in on him. Causing him to run his fingers through his hair asking himself "why do I put myself in these spots!??" To which I replied, "Um, maybe you are just too damn aggressive?"

Well, he would raise UTG again. Thats when Shawn Rice...who had just completely donked away half of his very large stack...when the tightest guy at the table raised from cutoff, only to watch Shawn re-raise the guy...only to then CALL the same guys' ALL IN (for a LOT) with AJ offsuit. The guy had JJ. Shawn was down to 265k. I watch the first guy raise to 50k. Shawn re-raises him to 125k. I look down at 10-10. I can tell by watching the first guy that he has been caught, yet again. I know he is folding. (turns out he had A10 off) So I think all I can do is either put Shawn all in or fold. I decide to raise it to 265k...putting Shawn all in. He calls, um...yeah he sort of had to, he was holding AA. Ahhhh shit! I make a heart flush...only problem...he had two red aces. Bummer. I was back down to 240k. Very reminiscent of the same hole I dug on last weeks' win with 10-10 early vs. the guy with QQ.

Well, I would recover. Picked off a guy when I raised light on the button with KK and had him shove with J10d. It held. Used very good position and my tight image to pick up several other pots. We were 11 handed for a very long time...and was starting to wonder if I would make it back to the final table again. We finally got to 10. Monkey beads went on. But for some reason, I didn't order Snap Monkeys. Not sure why...but I was having a very low bio-rythm day yesterday. Wasn't my usual chatty, crazy self. Didn't seem to matter though. I know Gary the floor/tourney supervisor was happy not having to deal with my antics. I know this because he TOLD me!

I carried a small stack all throughout the Final Table and pretty much was content to sit there and let big stacks duke it out, allow some others to make mistakes and whack themselves...and before I knew it we were down to 7. I had almost made $10k, had picked up 9 points, thus taking over the lead for the All-Around chase...and was putting myself in position to maybe make a deep run. No save deals had been discussed because me and the other shortstack (who I would eventually get Heads Up with) just had to small a stack to warrant that kind of talk.

Thats about the time my Rail Sweaters started showing up. Special thanks to Bryan Lanoix, Jeff Timms, McLean Karr, Maurice Hawkins, Jackson and Justina Niolet, Jennifer Chantnicki and of course Mike Terrill, among others...for coming out to support me. Their presence there seemed to help propel me at times.

At 6 handed I picked up a huge double up with Bryan over my shoulder. Aggressive English kid riased me (with K9) and I find As5s in the SB and shoved on him for my whole stack. The familiar fingers through the hair resulted. Bryan telling me "good shove, Monkey..." and we were all a little surprised when he called anyway. It held. Huge double up. Then on the next hand...the super tight guy from Switzerland shoved all in at cutoff and when I looked down at AK on the button I called his 450k shove. He turned over AQ. I held, and now suddenly I was 2nd in chips.

Thats when they stopped the clock and started working on a chip % save deal. I was very cautious about doing ANY deals due to the way I hosed myself on the last deal. But when they came back with the numbers, it seemed pretty fair for everyone. Jamaal (same guy from the last Final Table) was the current chipleader....and would get the most, $33k. I was second, and would get the 2nd most, $26k. The other five would get their share. It would leave 10k on top to play for...which meant, if I could win...I would end up with the MOST money this time...thus giving me the right to sign for 1st, get the most POY points, and take home the 'cheesecake.' I was convinced this was a good deal. That my backer would approve. So I agreed to it. Started looking like a pretty good idea too, because I hit the skids. One dealer in particular (another Asian dealer) pushed in and just DEMOLISHED my chip stack. We were 4 handed and no one could seem to find a way to knock out Amarillo Slim.

Slim's demeanor was funny. To a point. He likes to act like he is old and stupid. Constantly skirting the rules with his...."I raise" as he puts only enough out to call..then tries to go back for more. They call that a string bet, sir. And I don't care who you are (not going there with the niece 'thing' from a couple years back) you can't keep pulling the same shit over and over and get away with it. I managed to develop a pretty good line on him. I knew when and how to get him off of hands. I must have dragged about 5 or 6 pots against him when I went over the top of his bets knowing he had nothing. I was about the only one at the table who was abusing him on a regular basis. Everyone else he managed to get to fold when he needed to. He is still a pretty competent player. I was secretly hoping that him and I would get heads up...as I was CERTAIN I would destroy him heads up. Plus it would be fun for the game and the crowd watching. But he would finally go out in 4th.

Three handed, the little Asian dealer was giving me one horrid hand after another. I tried to steal a pot against Jamaal, and when half my stack of 550k went in on a river bet...only to hear Jamaal utter "I call" I mucked my hand that couldn't beat the board...and started coming to grips with the idea of finishing 3rd.

Then it happened. A new dealer pushed in. Timms, McLean and Hawkins showed up. And I went on an unprecedented TEAR! I could do no wrong. 10-10 would crush Jamaal's A9. There were in total, about 10 hands where everything went my way. I would take Jamaal out...again. Then I got heads up with the other guy, Dan I think his name was...and his DUCK DUCK hat (not sure what that was all about...never did ask). I could sense that this guy was scared shitless of me. He played very tentatively. He was perhaps the most easy read at the table...and we may have been heads up for only about 20 minutes before I limp/trapped him with KK to end the tourney. He was a very nice guy. In fact, pretty much the entire Final Table were good guys. No issues ever arose at this table. And of course I was pretty calm all day...so that helped! When the final hand was over...I was just sitting there with a permanent grin on my face. I was feeling so happy, so relieved, so....I don't know. That feeling when you are sitting there...the last one...with a lot of friends there with you, is just SO special. And these were guys who had no PIECE of me either...they were actually there because they cared about ME. And that felt DAMN good. That's what I was talking about yesterday and in other entries...knowing who your REAL poker buddies are. Not just the ones who want to get something FROM you when you are running good. Having them there made it that much more special last night. And then all the incredible amount of shoutouts on Facebook just added to it. Just a great, great night!

I now sit on a pretty commanding 36 point lead for the All Around.

I gave Maurice a ride to his hotel at Luxor, which took a ridiculous 35 minutes. Not sure why there was so much damn traffic. Probably saved him $40, which I was only to happy to do for him. He has been a really good sport about this race we are locked up in. We actually traded a 10% save on our finishes in that contest. Not a bad deal for either of us. I just hope one of us gets 1st, and the other gets 2nd. On top of it comes a really beautiful trophy that I really want. There are now only three events left, today's $550, Saturday's $1080, and the Main Event on Monday...a $5000 buy in. Not sure if I will play today. Kind of feel like taking the day off, but who knows? With these big fields, and time running out...I would almost rather just play everything I can...try to win as much as I can...get home, pay a bunch of bills, shoot my backer a fat check (for a change this year!) and maybe take a month off.

Can't decide whether to go up to Tunica or not. I guess I will see how many show up for those first few events before I decide to commit to that or not. Squirrel's brother and her nephews are coming down to Orange Beach the last week of July...he has expressed a desire to get together and golf, maybe I will just blow off Tunica and go over there and spend time with my new 'family.' I think it would make Squirrel happy.

I waited to call her last night until things had calmed down. She was so happy, and so proud of me. Wished so much that she was here, as did I! I think what makes me feel the most happiness is when I hear her voice after a win. She loves me the same, whether I am winning or losing...but when I win, all the pain and suffering that comes with tough losses and awful bad beats seem to cease to exist. I went straight to my hotel after dropping off Maurice, as I was mentally and physically exhausted. Also, I seem to have some kind of weird pain that I can't explain..

.

The night before last, I had this very dull pain in my right side of my back. It came out of nowhere, about 8pm...lasted about an hour. It stopped for a little while. Then it came back again around 11pm. It was freaking me out. A few people said it sounded like a kidney thing. That maybe I was getting a kidney stone. Someone asked if I had been consuming a lot of sugar. Huh? As in...drinking a TON of lemon drops??? Oh boy...really!?? Well, last night I was getting this terrible pain in my pelvic area. I don't feel it at all this morning, as I've just woke up. Not sure if thats good or not. But with all the horror stories I have heard about passing a kidney stone, I hope to GAWD that is not what it is. But then again....if that ISNT IT...what else could it be? Scary. Good news though is that I just went on Squirrel's health insurance, as a result of us being married. I see a plethora of trips to the doctor when I get home next week! I am having too much fun right now and running too damn good to just die!

Its now 8am. Almost time to trot out to the pool, to continue my assault on my killer Vegas tan! Then I suppose I can decide if I want to play today or not. Oh, almost forgot...KAI LANDRY's PREGAME (recieved one hour into the action yesterday) PEP TALK to MONKEY....quickly becoming a fan favorite!!!!!

Here you go:

"Monkey: Real nice picture of Amarillo Slim. Wow, he must have been really excited to run into you. Did he run off and get his camera too? No, it probably would have taken a while to set up with the tripod, thumb operated flashbulb, and the big curtain that falls over the photographers' body. I'm sure he thought you were Puggy Pearson, you fat, mongoloid bastard. If you wore plaid, you'd be a dead ringer. Take a good look at that picture, chief, because that's your future, no...that's you're PRESENT. I won't ask how the late-night Twister session in your room went with Amarillo, it's not my business how two grown, wrinkled men, one of them starstruck, behave in a hotel room...but I will say this: Return the man's rattlesnake hat and bolo tie, and maybe he'll return your dog-tag replica from "Wolverine." I'm sure at one point in the night in the dark cover of the hotel room, one of you stumbled across the obvious "raise!" joke, and the other giggled endlessly...ugh, I shudder to imagine the oil well jokes! Maybe if you weren't a persona-non-grata at the RIO, you could get a photograph with other Eldo-Americans throwing away their savings on the Slot machines. Just remember Monkey, old people hate you! They're no different from any other age group. Come to think of it, you'd be better off playing BINGO with the age-advanced in moldy, piss-stenchecd BINGO Halls than chasing after that Venetian Best All Around Player shallow dream of yours. Go....lose your tournament, and leave me the hell alone. I've got some serious pouting and sulking to get to." KAI LANDRY

Once again...classic shit from Kai Landry...one of my true friends in the poker world. I hate to say it, but Kai may have taken the top spot away from Allie Prescott in the Monkey Slamming department. And I truly never thought THAT would happen!!!!

Wow, two good, positive blog posts in a row...what is this world coming to?????????

Monkey

7 Days of Hell are over!!!!

(Senor Monkey and Poker Legend Amarillo Slim, Table 62, seats 3 and 4)

SWEET!!!

And my nightmare week-long run is history! Regardless of what happens today in the restart.

When I log on to do a blog post, there are always a bunch of comments that require me to either approve or deny publishing, and I always click on APPROVE, unless there are some that are just either overly offensive or inappropriate, which has only happened twice.

Today I read and published two very, very nice messages. Sometimes I get these lingering feelings in the back of my mind that everyone at the table wants me to die in a house fire...and when I read messages like todays, it actually makes me feel great. This guy who made the final table with me last week, who I point blank asked...out of left field, based on some kind of strange personality read I was making..."Are you an accountant sir?" and found out that, indeed he was (or had been) sent me the nicest message on here. By the way, if you all don't know how to see these...they appear as "comments" under each blog post.

I love it when a fellow player either writes it here or tells me in person that "Monkey, you made this tournament so entertaining and fun for me. It would never have been the same. I don't play much and never thought it could be this fun." Comments like that make me feel a lot better about the goofiness I often bring to the Final Table or when we are in the money. Its pretty much the only time I get really nutty like that...because at that stage of the tourney...hey, thats what we played 10 to 15 hours for, right? Its time to celebrate a bit, have some fun...and go for the big prize. All the pressure is off. Plus I just feel like I play lights out when I start my shot drinking.

In my last post I was coming off of three consecutive days of very frustrating outcomes. My roomie, Mike "Fast Talker" Terrill, who is starting to earn a new nickname...."Destructo"...asked why I didn't do a post yesterday? Simply put..."Well, sometimes when you can't find anything good to write about the best thing to do is NOT post at all." You people can only handle so much negativity. And frankly, I can only handle writing about so much. "Destructo" is becoming what my wife would deem a 'bad influence' I think. The thing is, I am able to identify his abhorrent behavior and not get sucked into it. I mean, I have my own little 'issues' without adding more to my 'portfolio.' Couple of Mike's little 'gems' include coming in one night at...mmm...a place that rhymes with ATM BLAND....and just reaching up and punch/slapping one of the glass sconces in the hallway that cover the light and shattering it into a hundred pieces(maybe less, maybe more). Um....nice one 'destructo'...the purpose? Then a few days ago...I come in from a late night, and in my bed, literally laying on my pillow is a picture, a very large picture...that had been torn off of the wall in the hallway here at the ....uh...hotel that rhymes with ALICE CREATION....of a train. They have a train station theme at this place...and the pictures had been causing Mike much disdain for days. The next night he snuck it back to its original location. This kid is a damn head case. He has his moments of hilarity, but he clearly needs help.

Talked to Squirrel yesterday on my dinner break. She tells me a few interesting things. (a) My dogs are going nuts. The one who is usually good (Jasper) has regressed about three years to his puppy days, and acting like a complete psycho...and the younger one (Mollie) is being the good dog. Huh? Well, this is about 2 hours before she catches Mollie eating a HOLE in our bedroom wall! Wow, dogs are really a trip. Me being gone for a month HAS to be the stimuli for this bizarre behavior. Then she goes on to tell me that her "Mom has been trying to read your blog..." followed by painful moans. Hahahah....everytime I write this, I think to myself..."good gawd I hope Cheryl's parents don't read this!" She tells Squirrel, "He sure does say some awful things about people...and what is the deal with this Kai guy? The things they say to each other are horrible!" Too funny. So Squirrel has to explain to her Mom that the point of that is to come up with the WORST possible things imagineable to say to each other to bring the other guy good luck. It has worked very well for me so far. Not as well for Kai...as in Day 2 yesterday when he was forced to try and weather the 'ShitStorm from Hell' and didn't come out alive. Kai is out. It sucks. But as I head back today for Day 2 and another attempt at a Final Table, a big score, and hopefully the overall lead in Venetian's Player of the Year contest...I am in serious need of another Kai Landry Pre-Game Pep Bash! To Squirrel's Mom, LaDelle, I say this..."I love you Mom! By reading my blog you may find things out about me that make you appreciate me more, scare you a little, and understand me in ways you never thought you would. And hopefully you will also be able to see just how much I love your daughter and fight this day-to-day battle called 'poker' to bring happiness, joy and financial security to our little world."

So the World Series is on to Day 3. Lots of good players are going to get deep this year. That is a result of a great structure. A lot will, of course lose along the way. 8.5 million bucks will await the first place winner, and as much as I would have liked it to have been ME...I will simply have to wait another year. Besides, I really do NOT think I am ready to be a household name yet. I kind of like flying under the radar, being well known and sometimes respected ONLY by those I interact with daily, play with at events and who read my blog. Running into people in grocery stores, airports, movie theatres, gas stations...and constantly being harrangued...harrassed and bothered, all while being expected to be nice to everyone...I'm just not sure if I have it in me yet. So I will let someone else become 'that guy!' Excuse me, or girl! There ya go Jena...I'm leaving the door open for your chances! I had a percentage of a couple guys...Kai Landry and Bryan Lanoix. Kai took a header, but Bryan has a healthy stack heading into Day 3....so go Bryan!!!!!

So...lets cut to the chase, because I would like to snag an hour or two down at the pool before heading back at 4. The two previous tourneys were VERY frustrating. In Monday's tourney I played well all day. Very well. Then when it mattered most, I played like a retard. Needing only 5 points to take over 1st place in the Best All Around contest, we were sitting 14 from the money, I had 81k, and was watching this German guy keep waking up with AA and taking people out. So what happens? With the blinds 1500/3000, sitting in the BB...with HIM in the SB....he raises me to 9k. I look down at AQ. I have enough chips to play it like a SMART PLAYER...but what do I do? I shit the bed! Instead of either just flatting the raise and seeing a flop...or re-raising to say 20k....I go all in! And of course, he has AA again. The flop was 10-10-4....an Ace hit the turn of course and I was out. I went into a two hour pit of despair and self-loathing. I played that about as BAD as I possibly could have. I really beat myself up over that one. The following day...I would end even worse, only I didn't make a bad play. Another 11 hour affair without cashing would ensue. And when my 85k in chips went through a 7 orbit 'card dead' process, and I was sitting there with 32k and the blinds at 2000/4000...I was forced to call the UTG's all in holding 10-10...for about exactly what I had in my stack. Then the tables chipleader calls also and I figure I am dead meat. I begged for them to BOTH have AK. The chipleader nodded at me, to let me know that this WAS what he had. I felt pretty good when the first shover turned over 99! Wow, could I really win this and triple up to over 100k? Which was the average at the time? Nope, of course not. Not only did an Ace flop, but also a 9. Jeezuz...and with none of us holding a single heart...and four of them out there on the turn ...could I catch one on the river?(for a chop) Or a one outer 10 of spades? Of course not. And that was that...I was out, again...12 from the money. And about to kill myself. I then went and did what I did the night before...played and lost two SNGs. My money situation in the last 7 days has been brutal. Nothing like making a good score and then getting just murdered for about 25% of what you just won. Well...there is ONE good way to heal that.

WIN ANOTHER TOURNAMENT!

So yesterday, I arrive almost on time, after an hour at the pool. And to switch things up, I decide to shave off my goatee. This has resulted in slump-busting victories in the past. I draw a table in back, one of the early breaking tables...and immediately find two players at my table I want to kill. One guy is chewing his gum in that annoying fashion...AND taking FOREVER to act on every hand! The other guy has this weird nervous twitch...and these bug eyes, and holds his mouth and lips in a way that you can't look at without wanting to clobber. Then the noise starts. We are out by the sportsbook and that bar with the video poker...and one of the machines is making some annoying, repetitive song/sound. I lose it! All three of those things combined has me coming unglued, so I put on my iPod and escape the insanity of it all. Again, thanks Squirrel for that Christmas gift two years ago...and Mom for the BOSE this year for my birthday!!! Very handy!!! Then...about 15 minutes later, they break our table!!!! Thank God! And I get moved to Seat 4, Table 62, PERFECT! Won't be leaving there for a LONG time! Now, if the players can please just be good.

Well, that would be too much to ask of course, after all...this is the SUMMER in VEGAS...and the mutant count still remains very high. Today's psychopath would be seated in the six hole. Any ace is playable for this guy. And any raise of his BB is a calling spot. He had a dubious knack for sucking out on the river...and four people would be sent packing by this mule. Unfortunately, this guy liked me, I guess we played together at some table a few days before. I didn't remember, but he sure did. And he liked me, so I figured the best thing for me to do was keep this clown on my good side. I sat there, very patient, not mixing it up with these fools. We had, of course the 2 required 'limeys' at the table to keep things interesting. They all play so strange. I have developed a very specific strategy for these Venetian Deepstack events. Play a lot of cheap flops early, try to hit a monster...then extract as many chips as humanly possible. Don't go broke when most bad players go broke. Don't overbet big hands. Try to reach twice or three times the average by Level 4...then just shift gears and play Top Ten hands only. Its been working. I have reached nearly every dinner break this summer. Then...hope to God you don't go card dead for 6 levels! I find that patience is the key element in these things. Eventually, a hand WILL come that will get you back to where you need to get, if you play it right. This would be the case in this tourney.

I was sitting on around 15k in level 5 when I went on the 'Heater From Hell' for about a half an hour. I'm not going to get into the hands...its not really important...but I shot up to 60K....on a span of about 10 hands. And yeah, on a couple I GOT LUCKY! Whatever, I'll take it. On one, I limped UTG...with AJ. Had a smaller stack raise right behind me. Back to me, I SHOVE ALL IN. The guy groans...but "has to call" and turns over KK. Oooops. I flop an Ace. Nice. Then turn an Ace. Nicer. Then...just in case...river quads! Sorry dude. On another, guy raises...I re-raise half his shortstack with AK. He goes all in. Shit. I'm priced in. He has KK also. Ace on the river. Sorry dude. On another...UTG+1 raises. Button flats. I look at A10 in the BB and call. Flop comes A-10-9. I check. Next guy checks. Button bets 4k. I raise to 12k. First folds. Button tanks. Then moves in. I call. He has AQ. I hold. Sorry dude. It was a great little run...and now I had three times the average, and started thinking about ending this scheid I'd been on.

Thats when things kind of went to shit. Got into one of those 'ruts' where you raise with AJ, AQ, 77, KQ...and people are moving all in behind you...forcing you to make those 'smart folds.' After a bit of that, followed by the long periods of being completely card dead...I found myself holding only 16k in chips...with the average now 100k and 42 players left, with 34 getting paid. It is now midnight. Shit! Here we go again. And while all this is going on I have had poker legend...and maybe the oldest human being alive, Amarillo Slim moved to my table and sitting right next to me. He came in with 30k, then luckboxed his way to 80k, only to drop back down to 22k...then wakes up with AA against an AK shover...and KK against a JJ and AJ shover...to get a huge stack build up. He's a cute old guy, and funny at times...but he slows the game down something fierce. Still, he has earned the right, hasn't he? Some of the part time newbie dealers didnt know who he was...and were being kind of rude to him in regards to getting his blinds and antes up.

Well I get my 16k all in vs the BB with Q5s...he calls with A3. Dammit. I hit a Q on the river. YES! Back up to 35k. Then, when Slim limps in for 6k...and I look at A6...I think that maybe, just maybe..if I go all in...everyone else will fold and I can at least get heads up with him. He had, afterall been limping in with some freakishly bizare hands. I get my wish, he calls with KQc. Ouch...not liking that race. He flops a KING. Damn...I start to gather my stuff...turn card...ACE! River a 6 and I am up to around 80k now! YES! Still short...but now we are 4 from the money. UTG raises me to 16k and I look at 77 in the BB. Hmmm....I decide to flat it. Flop comes Q-10-3. Not getting stupid here. Check. He bets big, I fold. Show 77. He shows me AQ. I think if I had shoved preflop there the guy would have called. I thought it was a good play by me.

Our table breaks. At my new table I pick up A10 UTG...and move all in. I get a walk, and a huge, much needed pot. Then...on the bubble...the small stack goes all in behind a raise...the BB wakes up with QQ and calls. First guy has JJ. He hits a jack. Wow! Then find out he is from Ocean Springs. Good for him...a little local flavor. Well he plays the next Blind vs Blind hand terrible and leaves himself with a meager 8k with the blinds at 5k/10k and a 1k ante. Thats when Senor Monkey picks up AA UTG....I decide NOT to get CUTE and screw myself...and just MOVE IN for 75k....the poor guy finds 10-10 and has to call. No one else does. The Aces hold up, I actually win with a four-card flush...but whatever, that poor guy is out, the bubble is bursted, and we are all in the money at 36 players! The sense of relief and joy I felt was kind of unlike me. But to have grinded like I did for the last four or five hours and make the money...I've never been happier to see $750 coming my way! At that point I didn't care if I went out next....just to get into the money was very satisfying.

So our table breaks. I get moved to one with Slim and his 400k, and Shawn Rice on my right with over a million. Yikes. I am still sitting on only about 80k. On our first hand I look down at AA UTG. Nice. Lets gamble here. I limp for 12k. Jamaal, who I made a Final Table with last week, and who I have a very fun, competitive relationship with now....limps in behind me, and Shawn checks in the BB. He says "May the worse hand win!" and when 9-5-2 hits the flop it has the makings of just that! He checks. I check. Jamaal leads for 25k. Shawn calls 25k and I get a little nervous. But whatever. I move all in. Its another 36k to call. They both tank and finally fold and I show the AA. NICE FREAKING POT!

Then...when the cutoff raises another 21k...and Shawn calls on the button, I fold my SB....just think, for another 21k...I could have tripled up with my 9-10 when the board runs out 10-10-7-10-2. SHIT! First guy had a pair (never saw it) and Shawn had KK. Damn! So on the very next hand, on the button, when Jamaal raises to 26k....and I look down at 9h10h...and the night drawing to a close....I decide, you know what? Who wants to come back with a third of the average. I've already cashed another level...and if I lose, I lose...at least I can play at noon tomorrow. So I call. The flop comes J-8-3. Not bad. HE CHECKS! Thank you! I check. 7 on the turn gives me a straight! Sweet. But also puts two clubs out there. He bets 40k. I raise to 80k. He calls. He doesnt even see me bet 36k all in in the dark as the 5 of clubs hits the river....uh oh!!!! Please dont have two clubs! He calls. He has 99. I win a HUGEEEEE POT! And when he limps on the next hand and I look down at AK suited I just push all in, afraid that if I don't, he may try to pull a move and move in behind me when I raise. So I just take that option away from him....and take down another decent pot!

When we bag up our chips, we have 21 players remaining. The average is 292k and I have 245k. Feel very good about how the night ended. Feel very good about my chances. To pass the leaders in the Overall Standings, I think I need to finish 8th or higher today. It is now 1:41pm and I have robbed myself of the valuable pool time I so crave and desire in order to get you all up to date...but hey! The amount of people who have come up to me and said "Hey you're Monkey!?? I read your blog man, and really like it!" has propelled me to meet the obligation of keeping you all 'in the loop.' I really appreciate all the support. And the Facebook Nation has really been supportive...getting all those shout outs during the game helps to keep me determined and focused. I really, really want this one today. No chop deals (or at least bad ones!) on this one. I want 1st and I want that trophy and I want that lead in the Overall Title Chase!!!!

MONKEY

Poker....and its humbling effect.

Good chance this could be an extremely long Blog entry. It is currently 8:41am. On Monday. Have to be out of this stupid hotel (again) and switch to yet another, and have already bought into today's noon Venetian tourney. It's sunny and I'm dying to get about two hours of sun. But I haven't done an entry here in five days...and there is much to write about/address.

On top of all that, a couple of my buddies are starting their Day 1 in the WSOP today, a couple guys who I have bought shares in, so since I have been forced to the sidelines by the 'powers that be' I will be relinquished to curious observer status. I have also pledged to give Kai a "BAD LUCK" message, a.k.a. his "DIE MONKEY DIE" message that has become famous and incredibly inspiring to me as I go back for my Day 2's!

I don't even know where to start. Just saw some very interesting posts. And I don't know WHY you people THINK I won't post something that appears to be somewhat critical. I have no problem with criticism and/or advice. One that came through was from the fella I had on my right at the Venetian a couple weeks ago. I was very surprised to see that one, and impressed that he took the time to read my blog and then post a message.

One thing remains very clear: A very small majority of people out there understand me. Hell, I'm not even sure sometimes if my wife understands me. For that matter, there are days I don't even know if I understand MYSELF! Okay, its official...I am clinically insane. Commit me! I do sincerely believe that poker is making me crazy. Look no further than the last 6 days. A large part of it has to do with the players who have decided to come out here this summer. If you need a prime place to go to make yourself want to kill yourself, and the rest of the players at your table...take part in the 7pm Venetian tournament. If you can sit there for 3 hours or more and not want to roll a grenade under the table then either duck for cover or just say 'screw it' and sit there motionless and die with them when the grenade explodes...then you have the patience of a saint.

Sometimes, I am positive that I could literally either tell them or turn over my cards and SHOW THEM my AA/KK and they would STILL call with their K10/A4/KQoff. As much as I enjoy being the last one sitting there...with all the chips...knowing I have just beat 984 other players, I can't help but sit there and find reasons to hate every single player at the table. That simply cannot be healthy to be feeling these things. I really feel like poker is beginning to wear on my already delicate psyche. My primary goal this summer was to come out here, win a half million or more...then take 6 months off from poker and enjoy the things that NORMAL people enjoy. Go fishing. Go coach a Little League team. Take a cruise. Go see my family. Go to some concerts. Go to some college football games. DO ANYTHING but play poker. Get away from the people who play poker. Come into contact with someone whose first question isn't "Hey Monkey...how you running?" It's been a good trip. But not half a million good. So that dream is probably dead. Or at least half dead.

For those of you in this game that ARE my true friends, don't take this the wrong way. I value your friendship and poker comraderie. In fact, if you ARE my friend...I think you will get exactly what I am talking about. For those of you who don't know me that well, you may think you are witnessing the complete unraveling of a borderline maniac. That's fine.

I have a statement to make regarding Harrah's and the 86 situation. An unnamed friend had a phone conversation with Jim Pedulla. It was revealed to me that Pedulla spoke with Jeffery Pollack. Pollack told him that they had "had problems with me in the past...when he was thrown out of Lake Tahoe" and so they had to assume that whatever happened at Ceasers the other night I was probably at fault. So at this point, Padulla watched the video from the hallway interaction...and though he couldn't really 'see anything' very conclusive, when he came in to work the next day and the kid seeked him out and INSISTED on pressing charges against me...he felt like he had to act against me. I am saying this: I think that what happened was TOTALLY UNJUST and unfair, especially since I wasn't even QUESTIONED on the matter. The one I SHOULD be wanting to beat the living hell out of is that kid, who is pure and simply a complete coward, punk and asshole. I guess Padulla felt he had to do something, and that was his answer. He claims that he hadn't ever read my blog, that it had nothing to do with his decision. And then he heard that while playing the Final Table the other night, I stood up and shouted to the room to NEVER PLAY AT CEASERS PALACE. He wasn't too excited when his employee who was there reported that back to him. Yeah, I could see that. So when this 'unnamed friend' of mine spoke to him...and he asked "why would I help this guy out?" it wasn't too hard for me to empathize with that point of view.

I suppose if Padulla and I were ever able to just sit down over a steak (assuming he isn't a vegetarian) and a good bottle of Pinot (assuming he's not a member of AA), we would probably come away from it on pretty good terms, and a better understanding of each other. Its kind of unfair for me to slam him and his character without ever meeting the guy, and its also unfair of him to rule against me the way he did without ever having talked to me. I am not naive enough to think that my past transgressions didn't have SOMETHING to do with the outcome. But you all know, that when you KNOW in your heart and mind that you didn't do something that you are being accused of, its very upsetting. So where does it lie right now? It lies with a parting statement by Padulla that if this "Monkey guy keeps his mouth shut and doesn't say anything about us anymore, then I will most likely lift the 86 on the guy."

So, with that in mind...it makes me ponder something. By not saying ANYTHING, does that make people think that 'Maybe Monkey DID do all those things, and now he is just embarrassed by it and not saying anything because he can't!?' Or should I even care? When clearly the thing to do is just 'let it go' and hope that everything goes away, and I am restored to active status with Harrah's, freeing me up to play in New Orleans, possibly Lake Tahoe again...and then back at the Rio NEXT summer?

Well, I have decided not to bash Padulla anymore. Or go crazy and lead some kind of goofy boycott of Ceasers Palace. The only TRUE criticism I have of Padulla, and nearly EVERY player I have talked to agrees 100% with me, is that he completely botched this Mega Stacks tourney. I WANTED Ceaser's to succeed with that. I typically run very good at Ceaser's and have a LOT of good poker acquaintences that work over there. I would never WANT them to fail. If they would have simply started those tourneys at 2 or 3 pm, and used a GOOD structure, like the one they switched to in the middle of this event, then I think they would have had phenomenal results for that event. Pure and simple. I would love to see them make that switch for all future events when competing against Venetian with the same Deepstacks structure. Then, everyone wins.

As far as me being a 'bad seed' in the eyes of the people at Harrah's...look, I get it. I am controversial. I am mercurial. I am loud at the table at times. I piss some people off. And for those who don't elect to take the time to get to know the 'real' me, its easy for me to understand (especially when my wife very carefully explains to me how people are percieving me) how people who have the ability to affect my future may occassionally put me in the penalty box for reasons I deem to be 'unfair.' I have several players (who I actually respect) suggesting that I 'tone down my actions' at the table and just play poker. That my game is strong enough to just sit there, quietly and play. Ladies and Gentleman...I must let you in on a little secret here. I do not USE table banter as a weapon. A lot of you think that. I don't sit there and chat my face off to put people on tilt. I am not even sure WHY I do this. I know that when I am AWAY from the table, I am quiet, reclusive and often times want to be completely left alone. But something about when I sit down at the poker table makes me come alive. Total strangers (usually) for me to tap into, to get to know, to investigate. Some that I like, some that I loathe. I can't explain it. When I play Sit N Go's late at night...and have a buddy playing, it IS TRUE...I DO like to turn it into a social event. We turn it into a drinking contest...and yeah, when I am in that 'zone' I have a track record of playing incredibly. Making sick reads, making great plays/bluffs, rarely do I make mistakes that I later look back on and regret when I am in that state of mind.

I don't want people thinking that I am trying to 'orchestrate a persona' when they see me jabbering at the table. Because I am not. Oh, and when I berate a player for how they play...I know! Its not cool! Yeah, yeah yeah...I know we WANT those players in the game, right? Well, actually...NO! I don't! I'm sorry, but I don't! I wish they would all go crawl into a HOLE and die!

Like this guy: Yesterday's tourney...get up to 34k in 1st level. Feeling good. Guy comes to table. Looks like an orthodontist on vacation from Idaho. Observe him make four SHIT plays early, think to myself...."Oh boy, this could be the donkey who crushes me with some BS play." See my KK get cracked when I raise UTG to 1200...and 4 players call...the guy in the BB calls because "should I even look? I'm priced in!" then goes all in on a flop of JJ4, two spades, and I call him like a moron....as does the guy at cutoff (who had 44), only to see J7 in his hand. Okay, STUPID call by me! Totally. And there goes 6500 chips. But then...with a chance to get all of those chips back...from the orthodontist, this play happens:

I limp for 400 with Jc10c. Squirrel's favorite hand. My new nemesis makes it 1600 on the button. Now this means NOTHING, if you have seen how this guy is playing. So I call. The flop comes J-J-7. Two spades. I check. He leads out for 1600. C-bet if ever there was one. I raise to FOUR THOUSAND! (4000) He calls. I will just let you in on the dark secret...he has KQ offsuit, one spade. The next two cards out are Q-Q. Yeah....I lose another very large percentage of my chips. And yes, I go off on him. I take his picture. I am left shortstack. And yes, he would later double me up when he raises UTG with A3...then calls my 4x All In over his raise (me with AQ) and somehow misses a 3...but I didn't care, this guy was the reason for my derailment yesterday. And I'm sorry, but I don't feel like we need these JACKASSES in the game of poker.

Nor do we need the guy who, the day before, at 10 pm...just after the dinner break, decides that when I raise to 3000 with AA...and I haven't raised in over THREE HOURS after I have sat in the $1k tourney card dead...that MAYBE, just MAYBE I have a hand better than 88...but instead of raising it from 3k to say...mmm 8k, and seeing if I was just 'stealing' from cutoff and yet giving yourself a chance to get away from it and not just putting your whole tournament at risk....NAW...just SHOVE all 28,000 of your chips ALL IN idiot....watch me snap call, turn over AA then beg Mooney the dealer for an 8...which she will happily provide you with. Sending me to the rail. Yeah, I am clamouring for MORE of these guys in the game.

You have pretty much read between the lines probably and figured out that the last four days have been frustrating. I have played deep the last four days...and at crunch time been run down by doofusses. I am completely focused on winning the Best Overall Player award for this event. With the standings just updated I am currently in 3rd place, a mere 4 points behind Maurice Hawkins. Had I been awarded 1st place points the other night (for finishing 1st!) instead of 2nd (ten fewer points) because the other kid (weasel) won more money (which resulted in him also STEALING the trophy) then I would be leading by 6 points. SO I am playing EVERY SINGLE remaining tourney in hopes of getting ONE more top 5 and essentially locking up that title, which also comes with a nice little cash reward, and some much appreciated respect from the poker community. I wish it came with a free suite at the Venetian for an upcoming Deepstacks event...I love their rooms, and staying there while playing is such a huge bonus. Maybe they will think about doing that! At any rate...getting beat by horrible, horrible plays so deep in the tourney takes the freaking life out of you; especially where there is so much at stake.

Yeah, went out yesterday at 6 pm, then scooted upstairs to Tao Beach where Joe Cutler, Jason Young...and some other guys had a cabana. Spent about an hour up there, it was too loud, filled with way too many people obviously rolling their balls off, dancing badly...in a pool that was about as gross as you would ever want to dip your toe in...and after an hour I was ready to split. So I did, I went and played that stupid 7pm tourney. Big mistake. I INSISTED on not letting the bad play get me down. I couldn't. It's just too upsetting. I am vowing to NEVER play that tourney again this trip. So I go play a couple SNG's. In the first one... I get down to 4 handed. I am kind of short stacked...and in the SB I look down at Ac3c. Okay, all in. And the guy on my left...who has been making 'half attempts' at befriending me...all while throughout the game showing people bluffs (which has made me decide I refuse to like this guy, at least...not much) sits there...pondering whether to call...then finally does...and turns over AA. WHAT THE FUCK!??? Nice slowroll dude! What the hell was that? The other two say the same thing, and ask if I'm going to take his picture!? No! He doesn't deserve the notoriety that putting his picture on here would bring him. The board goes A-K-4-10-3. Yeah. Two pair. Great. What an asshole. I DO NOT SAY A WORD. IN fact, I simply get up and walk over to Noodle Asia and order some food. I think they were all shocked that I didn't go off! Why bother? The kid has a mole or two in very bad places on his face...he's got enough issues without me going off on him over a stupid SNG.

So I go play another. It starts slow. Then I get bad player #3 to pay me off when, after he min riases UTG with QJ off, he calls my all in for another 5x with AK suited and fails to connect. Bad player #2 then doubles me up with my 10's vs his 4's. Might actually win this, get $600 back in my pocket, a shred of pleasure...and dammit, a WIN. So when I raise Bad Player #3 on the button, after making it clear that I only raise with Top Ten hands...and he goes all in, I have to call...with 99. He has AQ. Okay, can't fault that play I guess. The flop comes 6-7-8. Perfect flop! 4 on the turn. Whatcha got for me on the river, Ashley? Oh! A Queen. How nice! Now shortstacked. Bad Player #1 limps UTG for 400. I look down at AK again, with 1600 chips, and move all in. The guy in the BB...Bad Player #4....INSTA CALLS...with A8 offuit. Bad Player #1 actually folds. Ashley provides the Mutant with an 8 on the turn...and I am out. Oh...BTW, B.P.#4 just so happened to have exactly the same number of chips as me. I know...A8 is AWFULLY tough to get away from huh? Please kill me. That was it for the night. Paid for my buy in for today and left.

It is now 10am. Sun plans are getting away from me. Still haven't provided Kai with my pre-Main Event 'pep talk.' Feeling the pressure of that! Mike still hasn't woke up to do his 'gift of gab' work on the phone to attempt to pull us another 3 to 5 days of comped room somewhere.

By the way, the theme for today was poker and its humbling effect. Where did that come from? Um, if you didn't figure it out by now...by what you have read, let me spell it out for you: Get married. Make two final tables in one week. Have everyone talking about how 'Good Monkey's Running'. Feel good about cashing for my backer. Feel good about the prospects of not having to get a 'real' job any time soon. Feel good about other people wanting to back me in big events. Basically, just feel DAMN GOOD ABOUT LIFE...for a week. Then, BOOM, spend the next five days having your ass handed to you...losing 97% of the time to people with inferior hands, in situations your played correctly only to get it shoved up your ass. Losing when you should be winning. Just lets you know JUST HOW humbling this stupid game is. Never, ever, EVER get too full of yourself or your game when things are going good, because you just KNOW that things are bound to turn to shit realllllllly soon. And furthermore, if you are LUCKY enough to win some nice amount of money...DO NOT go out and blow it on some stupid shit, like table games, strippers, bigger buy ins you truly shouldn't be buying into. NO! Manage it carefully. Now dammit poker Gods...I have done all those things! Now let me go and have a perfect day again today, PLEASE! I want this overall title!

Bad week for dying. Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mayes...then Steve McNair? Wow. I hate it that people die. But let me say this...if I have to listen to Michael Jackson's music playing everywhere for another day...I am going to add MYSELF to that list!

Okay KAI LANDRY. HERE WE GO......

'as you walk into the back door of Rio today, the door that specifically says 'NO MONKEYS ALLOWED' think to yourself, why in the fuck am I doing this? How did I manage to get 6 or 7 people to give me money to do this? Are these people that stupid? Should I go into fund raising for soccer moms interested in being President if I am this good? Don't these people know how truly awful I am? That I rely on a can of fucking whipped cream to scare my opponents? Not a ridiculous ability to play the game? Did I really get off this morning and then use the money shot to style my hair? Is this outfit really one that was laid out for me by my Mother last night? If I accidentally get bumped into in the hallway, will I break into 6 pieces like humpty-fucking-dumpty? As all those thoughts fly around in your tennis ball of a head, take it one step further. Think how you are going to feel when some Investment Banker from London gives you his whole stack when his A10 finds a flop of A-K-4 rainbow and you holding 4-4....only to lose them all to the Collection Agent from Rainy Creek, Indiana when you look down at AA...raise 2.5x, get re-raised 10x...only to be forced to move all in on that DNA stain....then looking at every INTERNET FREAKS favorite hand...AK offsuit...but don't fret, it will only hurt for a while as the dealer puts out J-2-2...making you think you are good to go....about to be sitting on 80K on Day 1...when suddenly that 10 on the turn gets your attention....if only for ten minutes, because HEY! Its the World Series...and someone has hollered out...ALL IN AND A CALL...and now you are forced to wait on the camera people to rush over and provide the world with video evidence that dreams really DO come true for the unfortunate at Disney Wor.....errrrr.....RIO I mean....and as the dealer does that move of sitting there.....waiting, waiting.......waiting some more...JUST PUT THE FUCKING CARD OUT THERE!!!!!!...and there it is...you knew it was coming....you KNEW IT WAS COMING!!!! That QUEEEEEEEEEEEEN on the river! And all your chips go to a place where all good chips go to DIE...the DONKFISHMUTANTLOSERASSHOLEIHOPEYOUROTINHELL's stack! And you get that stupid fucking look on your face. "Um sir, you have to leave now!" Off to the parking lot, to crawl/slither into your All Terrain, Deer Killing Jetta....for the 6 and a half week drive (because you will break down for a week in every state) back to Biloxi! Yup...that will be your fate today assmunch! And my $535 investment in you will become my stimulus to find 535 more things about you I hate! Kai Landry....you suck. Now get to work!

And with that...I have extended my room here for another 24 hours. I am going to the pool for ONE hour....and then I am going to go win todays tournament at the Venetian! I love you all!

MONKEY SPANK

VICTORY AT THE VENETIAN...a little hollow, but still a win!!!!

Okay two things.

(1) I look like hell! I know that. Hey! It was a long, long freaking day! In fact Gary Hager, tourney director says it is the deepest any Deepstack tourney has EVER gone. And I thought our Final Table LAST week went long. Pretty sure when it ended we were at 160k/320k!

(2) This picture isn't exactly official. That trophy is a 'stand in' for the trophy I should have won! And yes, it looks like a big cookie. Well, I like cookies, and it would have tasted delicious. But that is the winning hand, and I did take that bitch down! And it did FEEL GOOD!!!!!

At 1:00pm I agreed to take Mike to Venetian so he could play the noon tourney. About the time I was set to get in the shower Allie Prescott texts me to ask if "I am going to miss watching Liv Boeree BOX today!" WHAT!!!??? You gotta be kidding me!? When? Where? Barry's Gym on S.Highland. At 2pm. Whoa! I had time. So I hurried up and got ready, dropped Mike off at Venetian, and shot over there. Just as I arrived Liv was entering the 'arena' looking very focused and quite bad ass. I'm telling you, this chick is without a doubt my new hero. I have some bad photos that I took (very blurry) to now go along with those of here double-flipping fully clothed into the pool at Allen Berry's rental three weeks ago at the 'drinking games' party. There were a lot of top players there, apparantly this was set up by some people in the poker world, her opponent was a girl named Melissa who works for Poker Pages. Maybe it was Poker News. One of those. Joe Sebok and his boys from Poker Road Radio were there. With Ally was Matt Brady, Mike Beasley, and a few others. Mike and Nick Binger were there. Tony G. Amanda Leatherman. Good crowd. Then the fight began...and it was a 3 round BRAWL! Liv was awesome. But Melissa hung in there too. Liv clearly won the fight...but it was a fantastic fight, and when it was over she came over to get a big celebratory 'atta girl' from all of us. That girl is the NUTS! Oh..the best part was Allie asking her "Ya wanna just go straight to the bar to drink...or do you need to go get showered up and all?" Her response..."What the hell...lets go drink!" Liv Rules!

So then I shot over to the Fashion Show Mall, as my wedding band that actually fits had come in. Exchanged it for the new one. Then headed to Johnny Rockets for the 'ol #12 and a thick vanilla milkshake...and it was off to the Venetian to try and 'do work!'

Arrived on time. Said my hello's. Found my chips. Found Mike...who had just taken another bad beat and was out of the nooner. Poor guy...he's running so bad its almost depressing. But I was feeling optimistic, feeling REALLY good about the day, and didn't want the cloud of negativity swirling around me. So when I drew a table that was inside of the perimeter of where people can stand and watch/sweat, I was almost glad that I was guarded from the distractions of outsiders. Granted, I love the support of my friends and other poker cohorts, but sometimes I just want to get dialed into my little zone and be left alone.

Very first hand of the game...sitting on 410k, guy raises at cutoff and I wake up with AK suited, and reraise half his stack. He folds. Nice start. I would go on a complete TEAR early...rarely going to showdown on anything, and chip up to 850k when the average was 380k. Things were feeling good. Then I misplayed two hands pretty bad. Guy raised UTG. I look down at AQ suited in the BB. I really should have either just folded there, or re-raised the guy. But I flat the 70k raise. Then the guy in the BB does the same. Hmm...spooky. The flop comes all rags, 7 high. Now, had I been heads up...I think I would have moved in on the guy, since he was fairly short, but I had to worry about this guy in between. So when I check, and HE checks...the original raiser (who I later found out had freaking A10) bets out 100k. I fold like a wuss. Had we been heads up, I would have re-raised him to 300 and watched him fold like a cheap suit. It was a bad play by me. The other guy folds, and claimed a pair. Whatever. Maybe he did though, since he made two absolutely HORRID plays in an hour.

Later, with 650K after getting blinded down and having to fold JJ's once and AQ once to a big re-raise (with the guy then showing me JJ...) I pick up 10's behind a guy's early raise. This guy wasn't a very strong player. I felt like I may have had the best hand. So I re-raise him from 75k to 225k. He had a little bit more than that...so when he moves all in I was pot stuck. I was up against two Q's, shit! Now had I flatted the raise...and watched the flop...which had an ACE, I could have checked, folded to any bet...or when he checked to the ace, could have led out big on the turn and gotten him off the hand. It was a bad play on my part...and it took me down to 450k and for the first time was feeling nervous. I wouldn't feel nervous again.

The hot married Asian lady on my right would move in for double my big blind and I had to call with Ac4c...she had AK and it held. No biggie. Then right after that we were down to two tables. From 50 to 18 just like that, under two hours. I got moved up to the Final Table area, table 55...my favorite place!

Rumblings of a possible save deal started, as the usually do when you get down to 2 tables in an extremely top-heavy payout tourney. Oh...btw, the word is out that the NEXT Venetian event will 100% for sure have a flattened out pay structure, so for all of you coming out here in October for the next event, you will be happy to know that when you cash you will no longer make 60 to 130 for 'just cashing' but instead make about 2.5x your buy-in, which is how it needs/ought to be. Kudos to the people at Venetian for hearing our concerns and doing something about it. They couldn't do it in midstream at this event due to the fact that they had advertised it in several publications as having the payout structure it has. That makes sense.

One or two guys who don't play much, who had managed to luckbox their way into over a million chips, wouldn't entertain any ideas regarding a 'save' deal, which I had put on the table. The good news is that neither of those two guys would finish in the top 8.

I am going to kind of cut to the chase here. I would make the Final Table with a medium stack. I then ordered the SNAP MONKEYS! Which if you don't know, are Red Snappers, but with a splash of delicious Chambord, and reserved exclusively for Final Tables. I got EVERYONE but the guy in Seat 6, the eventual 'Bad Guy' in this tourney, to share a Snap Monkey with me...the Final Table beads went on...and we were off! On a marathon!

On the break before the Final Table began, I met a guy who is on my Facebook and who reads this blog. He was playing in the 7pm donkfest and proceeds to tell me about some jerkoff who keeps calling clock on everyone, and then bitching constantly about the other players. I had to see this guy. So when I went over to his table, and I saw this guy...beady-eyed, short little jerk with a hat on backwards, who just happened to be jawing with the dealer when I arrived...it became an AUTOMATIC bounty! I told the whole table there was a $100 bounty on the guy...and they all went bananas. Only thing is, I told them, if the table breaks or if he wins (obviously) I get the $100 back. Well, what ended up happening was that everyone started gunning for him...and he would end up with a HUGE chipstack...then they broke that table, so I got my $100 back, and I'm guessing I won a new fan! That guy had to be loving me!

My first really huge hand and pot should have NEVER happened. This guy to my left, who was one of the guys who got chips and wouldn't deal, limps in UTG with AK. Another person flatted the 120k. I get a free look in the BB with K6. The flop comes K-10-6. Rainbow. Wow! I announce, "I'll check-raise." Dude UTG of course bets out...300k. Other guy folds. Back to me. "Hmmmm...well, lets see, 550k in the pot...I have 650 behind...I really want to get maximum value here, but don't want you to fold...of course, there is a couple hands that could have me beat...the DEVIL would be one of them....but I think I am good. Yeah, I guess the correct play here is all in..." So with that the dealer looks at me in that "So, are you all in?" face...and I nodded, yes. Dude SNAP CALLS! Of course. Because he is one of those guys who is never folding top pair, top kicker, even for half his stack. The turn is a 6. Sweet! And I double up to over 2 million.

I would sit around for hours...not winning anything big, not losing anything big. Picking up a hand every so often, getting a walk once in a while. One of my better plays was raising at cutoff with 22 and getting a call from the SB. THe flop comes out J-9-3. He checks and I instantly fire out 300k. He tanked for awhile then folded. Sweet.

We finally get down to 7. The guy in the 6 seat, an Asian kid named Duy...was a complete jerk. Never smiled. Was having no fun. Wouldn't talk to anyone. Just had his bitch of a wife watching from behind the fence...and his three 'boys.' The whole table was growing increasingly resentful of this guy. He had over 3 million in chips and just wouldn't even LISTEN to any talk of a save deal. Well, I let it go...at this point I was just getting myself focused to win it all. First was 74k. Second only 39k. I wanted to win, and I wanted to beat THIS GUY.

Well, they were all down at that end of the table in the 7, 8, and 9 seat working on him while I was busy listening to music and talking to my little contingent of followers on my end of the table, I was in the 3 seat. All of a sudden, they all ask me "Hey Monkey...how do you feel about giving him 50k and we all take the rest?" Hmmm I looked at my stack, 2.2million, then his...and decided that this deal SUCKED. NO way! But lets look at the numbers. I just couldn't help feeling that if I didn't do SOME kind of a deal it might be a huge disservice to these other players, not to mention the fact that I have been trying to pull a nice cash with my backer and that I've just gotten married, will be going home in couple weeks and would like to lock up a nice nest egg to survive on when I get home. Last thing I want to do is nix any deal, and end up going out 7th for $11k. I would both look and feel pretty stupid.

So I propose a different deal. We give the asshole $45k, we each take $22k each, and leave $20k on the table to play for. I introduce a stipulation, that if ANYONE gets Heads UP with the asshole, the other player, should they lose, automatically gets at LEAST another $5k. So this jerkoff had a chance to win $60k and the rest of us a minimum of $27k, maximum of $37k. Whatever, all parties agreed and we signed the agreement and started back to play.

About 15 minutes later I find something out that makes me HATE the deal. Because he was guaranteed the most amount of money, he would AUTOMATICALLY go down on the results sheet, and in the tournament leaders points contest...as the winner, and would be given the option of taking the trophy for first. That pissed me off, because I am now in excellent shape to make a run at the best all-around player award, with two final tables now (2nd, on paper and 5th, from last week) and 2 other cashes. I should be in the Top 5 for sure. Maurice Hawkins is the leader, having WON two of the events.

Well, I express my irritation with this, but then also add "you know, I can't imagine that ANYONE who doesn't WIN a tournament would take the trophy saying he had...that would just be a joke! I mean, I know a guy (won't mention his name, but it rhymes with FAKE) who paid someone at a circuit event in New Orleans to have the ring...even though he finished in 2nd place. Gave the guy like 10k extra! I'm sorry, but when I get a trophy or a ring or a bracelet, I want to feel that great feeling you get when you have ACTUALLY WON IT!" Kind of thought that little statement would have prevented that kind of stupid situation. I was wrong!

When we got 5 handed, I made a move on the little prick. In the SB I moved all in on him with K8. I know, I know...crazy. But he has been poaching my blinds relentlessly. Also, I had just lost a huge chunk of chips when a guy shoved a large stack all in with 66 and ran into my KK...only to flop 8-6-8. It held! Then I get KK two hands later, limp into the Asian guys' BB with it, expecting him to again raise. He doesnt. An Ace flops. I bet. He moves all in. SHIT. I fold face up. So when I move in on him with K8...he SNAP CALLS me with, ahem....A6 offsuit! I turn a KING! The whole crowd goes a little crazy! THAT FELT AWESOME!!!!! And now he was the shortstack!

He would go OUT a few hands later and we all rejoiced, but not before we watched him pick up the trophy and leave. We all kind of sat there with our jaws open...wow. Really? But Gary said he was entitled, nothing he could do about it. So that trophy you see me posing with is the trophy from one of the upcoming events. At least its a cool picture right!??

As soon as we got rid of him, we agreed to chop the rest of the prize pool! It then pretty much became a few buddies just having a good time playing some poker. It was a great way to end the night. When we got down to just me and a really cool guy from Macedonia...who incidentally, I had just been calling 'Macedonia' all night...we agreed to play each other heads-up for $200 and bragging rights! We played for about half an hour before I beat him with A6 against...wow, not even sure...think he has K high, maybe Q9 suited.

Its the greatest feeling to be the last one sitting there...with ALL the chips. With all your friends and poker acquaintances coming over to congratulate you. Dealers happy for you, floor guys happy for you. Its a huge feeling of relief that comes over you. I saved my new buddy from Macedonia 3,000 bucks when, instead of getting taxed 30% for being a foreigner, I let him sign for less, I signed for more, and paid him the difference in cash. Didn't cost me anything. Made him a bunch. But I told him I would only do it for him if he agreed to leave the dealers and floor people at LEAST 500 bucks. He of course agreed to do that. I left the floor and dealers $750. They were most appreciative, and I was only too happy to give it. I did, however...totally FORGET to leave a seperate tip for Jeremy, my 'lick' victim from the previous night! I will take care of that tonight or tomorrow.

Mike is sitting here Jonesing for the chance to go to SNG-Land tonight. I guess I will go over and do that for his sake. And go ahead and buy into tomorrow's $550 so we don't have to fight the big crowd tomorrow.

After the tourney ended...and it was 4am!!! I got a text from Joe Cutler, ordering me to get my ass over to Rhino! Why not, sounds good! And it was a big welcoming party awaiting me there. I love winning! God its the greatest, everyone that you are really friends with are always SO happy for you. So I try to keep that in mind when I am running bad and one of them is winning. You know, what comes around goes around! Don't get TOO happy or TOO full of yourself when you are winning, and dont get TOO depressed or down on yourself, and bitter towards those doing well when you aren't winning. Its a good credo to follow. We had a great time at Rhino, and when we finally got back to the MGM...at 8am, kind of forgot that we had to checkout at...yikes, 11am. We woke up at 1:30 and had to negotiate with the front desk to avoid another charge for the day. They let us slide! Thanks MGM GRAND!!!!

Well, that pretty much wraps it up! I got a TON of Facebook shout outs during the tournament, and I wish to thank all of you! I love that! Gives me so much confidence, and honestly, really keeps me focused! The staff and dealers at the Venetian were, again...truly terrific all tournament! It was just one, big, gigantic KICKASS tournament! I just wish I would have won ALL THE MONEY and taken home the trophy! But hey...I have a lot to feel good about and be thankful for

.

BTW, no word at ALL from anyone at WSOP, RIO, or HARRAH's regarding that mess. Hey, whatever. I can only do so much. I am not letting it get me down. I feel too great today!

MONKEY

4th Venetian Cash...going for 2nd Final Table this week.....

Yesterday was a good day, a very, very good day.

It started in a peculiar fashion. We had to move hotels, yet again, the night before...moving this time from the Venetian, which by the way has the BEST rooms I've stayed in while in Vegas..the MOST comfortable beds! Hated leaving there. We moved to the MGM this time...a very out-of-date monolith buried at the south end of the strip and away from everything poker. Luckily I have my car out here.

Woke up at 11:15am. Another long, deep night of sleep. Have actually been getting a LOT of sleep this summer. Got a very good email from the Floor guy who was working the tourney the night Ceaser's decided not to let me continue in the tourney. It basically said that he wrote up his 'end of the night report' and said that 'words were exchanged between two players who were both told to cool it, that things were actually initiated by the other player. No penalty was handed out. No other incident ensued.' He then went on to say that he was NEVER called or contacted by the Poker Room Manager, Jim Pedulla the next day to provide his version of events. Basically it was his opinion that Pedulla orchestrated a 'whack job' on me out of spite. He asked that I not use his name, that he feared for his job.

Well, thats really too bad isnt it? I mean, I fear for my tournament life, not because I fear the other players...but because some Napoleonistic Power Hungry Nobody reads my blog here and decides "I'm gonna get that Monkey asshole!", putting his professional integrity completely at risk as well as a very likely civil lawsuit by me. Lets see, at this point in the game I count $16,224 he has potentially cost me (money NOT won by winning the tourney on Saturday) coupled with the potential 9 million or so I won't be winning if I am not able to get back into the Rio after the twit had me 86'd from all Harrah's properties. This one could be juicy. And now a floor guy has to sweat his job? For what? Being honest? Letting me know that I got set up? Sounds like wrongful termination to me. Pretty sure this guy could get on with another quality poker room, a place with quality management, a place like....say the Venetian perhaps. They have a history of hiring people with a clue.

So I spent an hour and a half yesterday morning writing emails to all of the top WSOP guys, Jack Effel, Howard Greenbaum and Jeffery Pollack. A strange thing happened. Pollack, who WAS on my friends list on Facebook, suddenly and quite bizarely managed to 'disappear' from the list sometime between Sunday and Monday. Hmmmm. Interesting. Called the Gaming Commission. They weren't able to offer any assistance. It basically boils down to it being private property and them being able to deny service to anyone for whatever reason they want. They were nice though, and sounded pretty sympathetic to my issues.

Here is where it gets almost hilarious. Double Standard Land is alive and taking passengers below the required height limits. And despite already knowing/hearing these stories I have had several dealers calling me up to tell me "Hey Monkey, this is so effed up...did you hear about the guy who did this, that and the other thing? And he didn't get 86'd!??? Its BS!" Well, yes, I heard about Paul "Eskimo" Clarks little antics, where he attacked another player..thats right...ATTACKED, physically...another player...and was given a 24 hour penalty from the property. Then another player, who in this years WSOP has won a bracelet, had a dealer try to muck his hand while he was still preparing to act...and smashed the dealers hand (this has now made it through the rumor mill to reach the top of the mountain, wherein the dealer's hand was BROKEN...okay, the dealer's hand was NOT broken!) then verbally assaulted the dealer, threatening to KILL him, was subsequently also given a 24 hour 86 penalty. But hey...good 'ol Monkey here simply asks a guy who has been taunting and tormenting me for the last hour of the tourney, when things have concluded, and we are away from the tournament area if he would "like to step outside, off the property, to discuss whatever it was that he seemed to have a problem with me about" and what happens? I get a permanent 86 placed on me for THREATENING ANOTHER PLAYER. I find that pretty freaking laughable.

There is nothing else I can do I don't think. I think everything pretty much speaks for itself. I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to feel defensive about. If this guy's bosses want this kind of man/mutant running their poker operation, then Harrah's deserves whatever misery this guy brings upon them. I know it upsets my new wife and my backer that I have managed to get myself 86'd from a casino that happens to put on a lot of tourneys, that I may never get to win a bracelet, that its a bit embarrassing to my new wife because her family hates to see 'upsetting news' regarding their little girls' husband...but I know in my heart that I did nothing to bring on this punishment. So I will go on playing at Venetian and all the other tournaments that I can play in...playing to the best of my ability, and winning as often as I can.

I do have a backup plan! If none of you read Kai Landry's hilarious staking opportunity column/blog entry today, please do, it is once again...Kai-liscious. I plan to get my hands on hopefully 3 to 5% of Kai's action. I feel Kai could make a serious run in that event. I also have bought a couple of shares of Bryan Lanoix, who I also find to be completely capable. There are a couple more players I may try to get it on, especially if I have a 'special day' today when we go back to the Venetian for Day 2. I am also sitting here waiting for another of Kai's inspirational pre-game pep talks to put me in the right frame of mind heading back today!

Suppose we can talk poker now for a little while. Took Sunday off to sit and melt at the pool at Venetian. Joe Cutler was going to join me but decided instead to play the 1k at Venetian. The temperature was around 110 degrees, and there pool offered no relief, it was...in a word, AFRICA HOT. I finally went downstairs, played the $120 7pm tourney...that had 383 players. Along with "Gondola Mike." That still hasn't happened, but we are anxiously awaiting that wonderful day when we get to watch him take that magical boat ride, alone ...except for the singing Gondola Captain! I will spare you the gory details. The bottom line is...Mike went out around 32nd. I ended up cashing...24th (27 got paid) for a whopping $134. Thats right...I made $14. Nice payout structure. I am SO hopeful that Venetian will fix these payout structures for the next event. Because these ones are damn depressing.

Joe would end up getting knocked out of his 1k, in the money but cashing for the minimum. He wasn't happy about it. But at least he is cashing a lot on this summer.

The following day I would play the $340 at Venetian. My first table was a pretty good table. I would take a beat though and get down to 3500 before I started a steady climb back into contention. When my table broke I was up to 26k with the average around 18k. Then get moved to a table with perhaps the WORST poker player I have ever seen. You will see a picture of this bozo later...a HUGE Las Vegas Barn feature will be coming soon. It takes me a LONG time to put together....so you will have to wait. Basically, this guy would get it in with ATC, for any price. And his poker logic was completely back ass-wards. One of his more brilliant plays was this one:

Player raises UTG. He has QQ. Johnny Brainfart calls the raise (holding K9s) another player re-raises all in. The original player folds. This is where I hear two very funny statements. (a) "I HAVE to call you" funny because he was in for 3600...and 'has' to call 14,000! and (b)saying to the first raiser, "if you had called I could have folded." Huh? Yeah, you heard that right...not the standard, typical (especially in cash game players who like to put way too much emphasis on the 'priced in' theology) line of 'if you would have called I would have had to call too'. Nope not this clown. So he calls, and he loses. That one. On another, he would raise with A6 offsuit. Another player, with KK...moves all in on him...for, again, a TON...he calls. He makes a full house. Of course he does. Seems every dipshit out here runs like that in the first 10 levels of every one of these events. Taking out one good player after another. Treating their chips like they are pieces of candy to toss around to trick-or-treaters. Then when the dust clears...and you go walking around looking for them around Level 15...they have managed to mystically vanish. This fool would suffer the same fate. I of course wouldn't make it long enough to enjoy his demise.

Naw. Every time I got a hand I thought was good enough to raise with he would grab a clump of red chips and hurl them into the field. FUCK! And I would again fold a hand like 88, A10 suited, AQ offsuit. Hands that had I called I would have most likely doubled up with. Instead I have to get it in with Ad9d and run into Ah4h and JJ. I would flop a flush draw, and pick upa shared wheel draw...but then brick it all and I was out at 9pm with 180 of 915 players remaining. It sucked. During the dinner break, sitting on a short stack and looking to 'switch things up' I walked over to Swarovski with Joe and decided to make the plunge and buy the gorgeous Gorilla that I saw the other day, a $180 masterpiece that is this years Endangered Species Collection...which meant I had to JOIN a special club (for $55) to 'allow' me to buy the Gorilla. Sheeesh. I also picked up an $80 Rooster for Rooster...brought it to him later. He loved it. I was going to get Squirrel another one to replace the one I got her two years ago, that is broken, but they were out of it. This Gorilla will be taken care of, left in his special foam box! I will bring him out ONLY when we are in the money.

After busting out, I went over and played a $130 SNG. Before this started I got a message from Graham Pugh, who is the brother of the late Brandon Pugh...who was my best friend growing up as a kid in Seattle. "Brandy" and I had a stupid falling out back in 1995...over the most ridiculous thing, when I went down to Miami to watch our Huskies upset the Hurricanes in the Orange Bowl to end their 56 game home winning streak. I had to be at work that Monday morning and had to drive home to Atlanta, a 12 hour trek, and it meant I wasnt able to give him a ride to the airport Sunday night. He took it really hard, which was pathetic. I tried for three years to make up with him. He was stubborn. Well, he would end up getting brain cancer 5 years ago, and finally passed away. I found out about it two years ago. It really made me sad. Then I find out his Mother AND Father both passed away right after that. Its just Graham now, and his wife and two children. He recently found me on Facebook and we have been swapping emails ever since. He was here for the weekend. I was looking forward to meeting him after all these years...but was somewhat nervous. Well, he came walking up to my SNG table before we started. Looked exactly the same as when he was 14. Just older. We sat and talked for about half an hour. Wow. Where do the years go? It was great to catch up with him. Then we started the SNG....with him watching, I flat called an early raise with KK. I let him and his wife see the hand. The flop came 678. I checked. The first guy moves all in. The next guy moves all in. Oh well, I call. They are both open ended, one with 35, the other with 99. They both miss and I take them both out. It was kind of cool, and with that they left for their hotel. I would end up winning the SNG for $600, which would have taken me two levels to do in the tourney I just busted out of. I would lose my next two SNGs....the first, after my QQ ran into KK early...no big deal, don't mind losing early, good for the EV! But on the next I got up a nice 6500 chip stack, got four handed and BLEW it. Should never have raised with A9...ran into AK...doubled him up...and it was all downhill from there, going out 4th and blowing what should have been a 2 for 3 night of SNGs, a $700 profit on the day...and a good feeling going to bed. Oh well, live and learn, right?

I was on my 2nd consecutive night of NOT drinking anything. The cocktail waitress was like, "Monkey, whats wrong with you? Your not any fun! Is everything okay?" Sure...everything's great. Just drying out. Feeling mellow. No big deal. Whoa...now I have an obligation to entertain the waitresses?

Alright this is getting kind of long. So...back to yesterday. Finished up all my texts and emails to those I needed to get in touch with. Called the Venetian to save me a seat, ooops, they were ALREADY into alternates. Oh well. I will get whatever I get. No big deal. Then I go drop off my and Mike's laundry. I get to Venetian at 1:30. I dont get to my table until 1:50. 8 minutes before the end of Level 3 and the first 15 minute break. Another HUGE field at Venetian. If they would just fix the payout structure and lighten up on the 'table talk' rule this would be the greatest tournament on the PLANET!

I lose a bunch of chips early, thinking I have a guy beat...finding out otherwise when he goes over the top of my re-raise with an all in. Shit. Sitting on only 6k and thinking this could be an early day for me, I pick up JJ. This guy throws out a 1k chip but doesnt say 'raise' so its a 400 call. The guy behind him, from Denmark, and genuinely a really nice guy, who has been crushing EVERY flop..and is now sitting on over 50k, also calls. I go all in for 6k. Why not? First guy folds "I'm glad I made a mistake now, I guess"...and the second guy asks me "AK?" "No, I do NOT have AK, I would like you to call, and I promise I won't get mad if you suck out." Somehow the dealer doesnt kill us for talking. "You promise you wont get mad? I have a middle pair." "I swear I won't get mad, I expect you to hit no matter what you have anyway, your bulletproof!" So he calls, turns over 77 and promptly flops K7K. I love it. I am gathering my stuff, about to go shake his hand...when a JACK hits the river and the whole table goes "OOHHHHHH!!!!!" Stay here Monkey! And he actually is very gracious. Good guy. And a nice double up for me.

I don't make many chips after that for the longest time. I get moved to a new table. Pretty weak table. No big stacks. There would be NO big stacks for over 7 levels. I would get my first big double up with 10-10. Kind of weird because I was talking to Mark (floorguy) about my horrible 10-10 hand two weeks ago when I flopped a set and lost to that Brazillian bozo when I look down at 10's. Trippy. Guy behind me raises all buy 4k of his 16k stack. I move all in. I have 22k. He calls, turns over AJ. I flop 10-3-3! I think I might win this one! I do. Nice! Then I sit there for a long time and don't win anything. Get blinded down to 32k, with the average at 65k.

Thats when the loosest (maybe stupidest) player on the table raises to 6500 (from 1k/2k) UTG. I look down at AA. Nice. I make it 14,500 to go. I have a total of 48k. Comes back around to him and he SHOVES ALL IN. Um...I call. He has A10 offsuit. Nice hand sir. AA holds, and now I am finally at the average.

Then I go through a period of picking up hands like QQ/JJ/AK/AQ/AJ and raising while getting no action. We are getting closer and closer to the money. I am now thinking less about cashing and more about winning. I have put on the iPod, am jamming out...have started drinking lemon drops...having fun....thinking about a big score. And also exploiting the bubble and raising/stealing every so often.

We make the money. Mark G again does the microphonial announcements regarding making the money and also the Official In The Money Red Snapper Celebration with Monkey...and I find 10 partakers out of the 81 "in the money" field. I pick up the tip. We get one more round, again my tip (getting costly!!!) and then I shut the snappers down. We have only half an hour to play before the night ends and I want to sober up before making the 3 mile drive to pick up our laundry and return to the MGM.

Its the last hand of the night. I am sitting on about 220k with the average 215k. I pick up 88. I raise from 10k to 30k. "Three X!" Thats a whole other story...we (Mike, Joe and I) have had a lot of fun clowning other people, and ourselves at times...by announcing the amount of X we or others are raising. Its kind of fun when at 100/200 some jackass raises like 1200 and we get to shout out..."SIX X!" or someone goes all in for like 20K into 1/2k blinds and we get to shout out "TEN X A.I.!!!" "THREE POINT SEVEN FIVE X!" is a good one. Or if someone raises too much for a hand we would like to play...we simply say "Mmmm thats too much X sir, I fold." A folded hand is sometimes done with a "Zero X!" so back to this hand...I raise THREE X....with 88 and the button goes all in for 79,000, or uh...RR 8X! Then the guy in the BB also goes all in, and just happens to have the same amount. Wow, so lets see here, my 30x, plus 160x, another 12k in the pot...200k+ in the pot...and 50k to call. Awfully tough to fold there! I call. I am up against AJ and 1010. OUCH! Hey dealer! Give me an 8! I FLOP AN 8! And it holds! And start stacking a shit load of chips! Over 400k.

Then I do something I have been doing a lot of this summer. When a male dealer (not a chick becuase they tend to take it the wrong way!) throws me a huge suckout for a huge pot...I run over behind them and give them a lick! You heard me! A lick! Either on their neck or their ear! And also stamp their name in my brain for tipping purposes later on. Well, this guy, Jeremy looked like he had seen a ghost after I did this. To use the word TRAUMATIZED would be an understatement. Sometimes, you think guys are just 'kind of pretending' to be freaked out, so you don't give it a whole lot of concern...but OH NO! This dude was genuinely freaked out! UH OH...better run some quick damage control here before it gets out of hand. Mark was there, and watching...and knows I've been doing this, that it was harmless, that I am not a little gaybird or anything...but still, he could tell the kid was freaking out and insisted I go apologize to him. So I did. Profusely. I hope he is okay with things. I wanted to take his picture to feature him as the ULTIMATE DEALER OF THE DAY, but he relented. Oh well, I tried. Should I win this today, I will STILL honor him with a juicy tip.

AHHHHHH...and here it is! I asked KAI for another tasty pre-game pep talk...and here, on my cell phone it is...though chopped up into four seperate, out of order entries that I will attempt to reassemble and share with everyone. He is currently at the airport about to fly out here to play the Main Event, which aparantly I will NOT be playing in. Oh well, here in its attempted entirety is todays PEP TALK FROM KAI:

(I had expressed interest in buying some of his shares for the Main Event)
"Heh hey heh! For you a palty 7% vig, so one share for you @$107. But you can't afford it because you're going to lose today, tomorrow, and everyday for the rest of your life, COREY!!! Better take up alcoholism and start living in the past you douchebag, because your future looks darker than inside of Oprah's asshole. At night. Have I told you to go eat a turd today? No? Really? Thats a shame, because you probably couldn't afford one anyway. See that person on your left? He hates you. Deeply. So does everyone else. It's a good thing you can't hear what they're thinking about you because you'd probably start crying. End your life. Now. I'd continue but I have to get on this plane to LV to play that damn main event seeing how I wont be trespassing on Harrah's property by stepping foot on it. How was that? You're welcome. No, wait, you're not, just ask Padullah. Just ran into Mark Wilds here at the airport. He's so nice. He says he hates you. Severely. Wow. He said something about wanting to bash your goddamn skull in with a hammer...that's not him...weird. Are you dead yet? Squirrel would make a lovely widow. All I'm saying is...consider suicide. More air for the rest of us."

And that folks, is my Kai Landry pre-game pep talk! Good stuff! Very Lombardi-like, wouldn't you say? Kyle Milam attempted the same move the other day...mmmm it was a good attempt, one good line about being a Wal-Mart greeter, but Kai just has a special gift that cannot be ignored!

Meanwhile, two other things, congrats to my quasi-buddy Brandon Cantu for winning a bracelet the other day, and congrats to Allie Prescott who made his second final table this WSOP...taking 8th yesterday in the STUD 8 or better. He just texted me asking if I was going to watch LIV BOX TODAY!??? WHAT? You gotta be kidding me? I have to MISS watching LIV box? To try and win 74k? That sucks! Wow, maybe they will videotape it! Well, hope to be back with some awesome news later! Catch ya back here soon!

MONKEY