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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Main Event on Tap for tomorrow....and MCLEAN WINS!!!!!!

Its Friday night. (well, now Saturday Morning...and my boy McLean Karr just shipped the Bay 101 Shooting Star Main Event for $878k!!!!!)

I just got done winning the 7pm Mega. Buy in $350. 47 players. 7 winners. Early I got AA and got a guy to stuff with AK. I never had fewer than 25 BB's all night...nothing like a smooth cruise in a Mega. We were done by 11pm.

In the earlier Mega...with 312 players...that was a $100 rebuy job...I had a roller coaster ride. I sat down and got AJd. Ended up hitting broadway on the turn when the other guy turned a set of 10's. Double up. Proceeded to give them back a couple hands later.


This guy...I am told his name is Kemo...is quite possibly the biggest moron I have ever seen at the poker table. He raises me. Not much. I call in the BB with 79s. The flop comes 10s-9h-6s. Nice. I check. He bets 550. I raise to 1200. He calls. Turn is nothing helpful. I shove all in for 2200. He calls. Turns over 98. Yeah...he is still ahead. Then it starts.

Let me describe this fool. About 6'2". Maybe 185lbs. Seems hispanic maybe. Could be in the military. Obviously works out a lot. Hes one of those guys who poses as much as possible. When riffling chips. When drinking his soda. Probably when he's brushing his teeth. Wearing a bandana around his head...and...a baseball hat. And glasses that are so dark he needs to take them off to see his hand and the flop. Ridiculous.

"What chu got? Ohhh no wayyyy...you got nothing man! Nothing! You try to raise me with that? You aint playing with kids here man! Noooo. No you aint! You know who I am!???"

I miss the flush and the straight on the river.....

"Whoooooooooo! (standing up and doing the Rick Flair, swiping the belt move) Whud I tell you boy!!!! Cant beat me! Whooooooooooo! Yeahhhhhhh!"

By now the whole back of the poker room is staring at this clown.

Of the 10 players at my table, 7 of them were between the ages of 50 and 70...and all of them had that look on their face...mouth agape...eyes wide open....just...I don't know, STUNNED at what a fucking idiot this guy is. I simply laugh at him. He asks me how long I've been playing, why I don't know who he is. "Im sorry, dude, I have no idea who you are. And I probably would know you if I'd played longer. Silly me!"

About this time the dealer tells him I've won two tournaments that week, and made 4 Final Tables. (yes...last night I took 3rd in the nightly- more about that later). So he whips out his coin that he got for aparantly winning the tourney here last Sunday. Throws it at me...well, in my direction. "Great...you won a tournament."

"Well, if you really won one...you would have one! Where is it.....boyyyyyy?"

I won nightly's sir. Go ahead, say it....they don't count. I know, I know.

I elected to put on my Bose and just tune this prick out. Then something funny started happening. He started trying to make moves on everyone, and got caught...over and over and over. He would rebuy once, twice...three times....four...and then a fifth time. Every time he would bust a handful of the old guys at the table would look in my direction smiling. I admit, it was funny. Meanwhile, I would double up with AK vs. AJ....then give them all back with QQ  vs. KK. I was in for 4 rebuys....then our table broke.

At the new table we had a guy who when I sat down had 33k in chips when the blinds were 100/200 with an ante. And he started spewing like a leaky faucet on a cold winter day. His really fun play was when he raised to 3000 (at just 200/400)...gets flat called by this old guy (who had AA, nice play actually) and when he flopped a flush draw he bets out like 5000. Old man goes all in for 12000. He calls. And misses his flush.

I say to the guy next to me..."this clown isn't even going to survive this level the way he blasting that stack."

I was right. He bombed out.

Meanwhile I was floating around 16k in chips for a long time. Then Joe gets moved to my table. A little about Joe Cutler. He arrived yesterday at 10am. He played the 1k. He got heads up in the 1k. We had a little 5% save. While that was going on...I was busy running over the nightly tourney again. He would end up doing a chop deal when he got heads up and pocketed $21k. Awesome. And me? I got what amounted to my buy in back.

So Joe shows up at my table with about 18k himself. He starts doing what he does...and unfortunately was up against the crazy Asian guy...the one who loves to 4-bet people, and actually is a very, very tough opponent. He is also friends with that son of a bitch who whacked me from the 1k with his stupid J6 yesterday. Good news on that. The donkey made it to the Final Table....played for 10 hours....and with it paying only 6 and no deal in place for 7th-10th...got busted in 8th....for a prize of $0! I was very pleased with that outcome!

And to take it up a notch...early in my nightly tourney...I had another pissing match, with another Asian. This guy got his  panties in a bunch when...sitting in the BB with 33....the flop came 2-3-5. Five players in the hand. Checks around. Turn....5! Nice. I check again. And this guy bets 400. It was early. 50/100. I decide I will make a little min raise...to 800...to see what kind of reaction that gets. He starts babbling about how lucky I am to have hit the 5. I tell him..."Dude, I do NOT have a 5. I promise you. But I am quite certain that I AM going to hit the flush!" There were two hearts and two spades on the board.

He asks how many chips I have. (Oh yeah...here we go!) Then I go to make that move... the 'ol reverse pychology move where you are trying to goad them into acting...pretending like you are about to muck your cards. You all know the move, right? Well, he thinks I am tipping my cards to show them to the players behind me...which, of course, I'm not! But who cares. He starts pitching a fit. Okay. Not sure what he is trying to accomplish. (a) I didnt show anyone my cards and (b) what do you think is going to happen when you whine to the floor about it?

I tell him..."Dude, are you calling, folding or raising? If you want to know what I have I will tell you!" He folds. I tell him I had 33. He is still pissed. And now he starts steam raising. A lot. hahahahah. I call behind him one time with K10d. Flop comes K high. He checks. I lead. He raises big. I fold and show him a K. He makes some remark...and I tell him..."dont worry, sir, you will get your chance to get it all in against me...we'll get our stacks in there, I promise!"

Well, you can call me Monk-stro-freaking-damus! FOUR hands later...he raises to 400 (from 50/100) and I look him up with 99. The flop comes A-K-8 rainbow. He checks. Okay, I check. Turn is a 10. He checks again. I'm not betting your hand! Then....BOOM! River....NINER!

He checks AGAIN!!! And now I'm thinking I am about to win a nothing pot. I am sitting on 11k by now, he has 9k. There is about 1100 in the pot. I bet 600. What does he do? HE SHIPS ALL IN!!!!!

I take a second...look at the board. Hmmm.....QJ? Naw...no way he raises with that. Not THAT much. And why would he go all in. No, he is going all in because hes (a) pissed at me (b) on tilt (c) a bad player and (d) knows its the only way he can win the hand. Nope, makes no sense....I call! He turns over AJ...and says..."I have ACE!" Then I slow roll him...."yeah? An ace? And you never bet it until the river? Why? Trying to trap me bud? Well....gosh....hate if for ya...but all that trapping just got you broke! I have a set of nines! Bye now!"

He freaked out a little bit...and then, left! Most of the table was howling...and a guy in the 10 seat remarked..."dude! Sick...you JUST told him you guys would get it in against each other...and then BAM...you took him out! Gross!"  I agree. Gross.

I would do a LOT of drinking. And make a bunch of new friends. Today before the Mega, this old guy who I barely remember approaches me and tells me "Hey Monkey...how did you end up last night? (I got 3rd sir) I just wanted to tell you that I have never had so much fun in a poker tourney as I did last night. And I wanted to thank you for all the free tips you handed out. I think I learned more last night than I have in ten years of playing poker! Thanks!"  Wow. That was pretty flattering. I was actually doing a lot of 'sharing' of poker advice last night? Why? Well, I guess instead of berating and making fun of people...because out here it is SO easy to do...I thought I would take a smoother approach and just offer tips to people. And I think because I was in such a friendly mood, they all appreciated it, and even used it quite a bit.

So...long story short on that deal...I would basically steam roll my way to the Final Table...then...with a medium sized stack and 5 players left...I pick up AA for the first time all night. This guy limps in for 4k. I literally announce..."Well I have aces, so I will raise to 9500." It folds around to him. He sits there....looks at me....looks at his stack....looks at mine....and moves all in! hahahahahhaha. When will these people learn? Ummmmm I calllllllll!  He has 8-9 offsuit. He wouldn't get lucky. He would make me chipleader. Thank you sir.

We get to three. Stacks move up and down, back and forth...we are all fairly even. Then....at 4k/8k....I raise on the button with Ac5c. The guy in the BB...who I have a pretty good line on....tanks for a bit...then moves all in in a fashion where I can tell he doesn't want a call. I do some math...compare stacks. Think about where I will be if I fold. Then think about where I will be if I win. 3 to 1 edge and heads up...against a lousy player. You can mail that one in. And I have a feeling I am ahead. So I decide to call. He turns over A4 off! Wow! Nice call. Probably be a chop.....but no! Trish...this older dealer who has been just abusing me all week, nice lady...but killing me on this trip.....does the unthinkable, she delivers a 4. Son of a bitch! The guy has me covered by a miniscule 3k. And I am OUT! 3rd. Shit! For $1250. First was $2900. 91 played. Yeah I was pretty irritated. I got my money and stomped up to my room. Grrrrrrrr!

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This just in. My good buddy, who I wrote about a lot while in Vegas...McLean Karr is currently heads up at the Bay 101 Shooting Star Main Event against Andy Seth...another very good player. We have been following him now for the last three days. He came back yesterday with 27 players as the low-stack...sitting on less than 6 BB's. He worked his way back into it...and made it back today for the TV Final Table. We are so fired up about it, Joe and I. Phil Helmuth was the first one out. Hahah! Then McLean got heads up with Seth...and had a 4.5-1 chip lead. He dominated early...the first 25 hands...and had him 5,000,000 to 1,000,000 roughly when I started writing this entry. And now when I just looked on the updates....they are now back to even. 3.4m to 3.2m for McLean. Looks like its going to be a long grind...the structure is awesome....the blinds right now are only 40k/80k. I really hope McLean wins....1st is $878k...2nd $521k...wow! I mean...either way hes gonna win half a MILLION BUCKS! Man I can't wait for that day. And what is really cool, is that McLean is the kind of guy that will not change one stitch. Hell, he has been hanging out with celebs for the last few years. He was Michael Phelps' roomie in college. Nothing fazes him. Not a pretentious bone in his body. Go McLEAN!!!!!!

(on the 59th hand...while I was proofreading this...and just out of break...McLean raised with 88...got re-raised by Seth with 44....moved all in, and got called. The 8s held and McLean just became a virtual millionaire! Holy shit! How cool!!!!!)

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I kind of forgot where I left off, but I think we are pretty much up to date on the poker stuff. I am IN the Main Event tomorrow, a 2k buy in...that cost me basically $1200. So I guess I saved $900 by winning the Mega tonight. I think my backer will be happy with that.

Oh I guess I left you hanging (if you cared) on the outcome of the Noon $100 rebuy Mega. Lets just say it ended badly. I hovered around 11k/15k for about 3 levels. The biggest hand I won was a total bluff. The human pez/chip dispenser limped for 300...another guy limped...I raised on the button with KQ suited, to 1200..and Mr. Spewey called, with, I suspect, a weak ace. The other guy folded. Flop came A-8-3. He checked. I bet 1500. He called. Uh oh. Shit. Turn was a 10. Ha! Outs! He checked. I checked also. Come on jack! River? A 10. Hmmmm. He checks. I am almost positive he has an ace. A shitty one. I can only win this pot one way. I jam it all in! He thinks...asks for a count.....7200 sir....and finally folds! Phewwwww!

I would then go totally card dead for three levels. At 400/800 I had 11,500 chips and raised UTG with AK...to 2500. The Asian nuisance asked how much I had behind. I showed him. And in my head...there was no way I was folding to this twit. He calls. Then the guy in the SB...who is actually a fairly tight player...goes all in for 4500. Shit. I have to isolate. I move all in. The kid tanks...then gives the 'ol...."well, okay, I gamble with you." Lovely.

He turns over 77. Okay. The other guy has QQ. Yikes. At least I have those two overs. Mmmm..flop comes Q-10-4. Shit. Only a J can save me. I don't get there. Dammit. I was out. Went directly to my room and took a nap! And that was it for the nooner. Again...no luck in nooners on this trip.

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Today my UW Huskies whacked Stanford...who I was delighted to see upset Arizona State...because we match up horribly with ASU. Stanford we dominated in the regular season...and we owned them today too. So we may already have done enough to get ourselves into the Big Dance...but if not, I would love to see us just go out and beat CAL in the Pac-10 Championship game! Go Dawgs!!!!

And I am NOT into horse racing...at all! But a guy who reads my blog and knows I am out here called me today with a hot tip on a horse tomorrow. Hmmm....so I will take a shot at it. Walk my money up the window tomorrow and see what happens. I will be sure to let you all know if it comes in a winner!!!!

Well I was hoping this Final Table would be over soon...but it appears to be a battle for the ages. McLean got the lead back...but then Seth won another big pot. They are on break...having played nearly 60 hands heads up...and McLean holds a slight lead. Should be an exciting finish. I would say they must be tired...but dude...when you are playing for almost a million bucks...are you really getting tired??????

MONKEY

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