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Thursday, April 21, 2016

WHAT IS GOING ON!???

Is there any relationship between me creating two groups on Facebook, one called 'TED CRUZ MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL' and the other one....'KILLARY WEARS PRADA' that could possibly be responsible for the ridiculous, incomprehensible number of hits I've gotten on my blog on WED and THURS?

Something is UP and I don't know what it is. It's freaking me out. Kind of. And I don't have time to write today. Plus Prince just died earlier, and that has me really sad. For real. Not just pretending. It was the first concert I ever went to. With the first girl I ever...well...my first 'real' relationship. Prince was pretty prominent in my early years. Almost every Prince song I ever hear reminds me of a time in my life, or a person, a job, an historical occurrence. Something. It's weird when someone like that just suddenly dies. At 49...its happening more and more...and the more it happens, the more I'm starting to be aware of my own existence on this wonderful planet Earth. 

I played poker last night at IP. Wanted to play at Pearl...but they had no game going. Sucked. So went to IP...had to play limit for an hour (won a whopping $56) before finally getting a seat on the 1/3 game. Nothing very exciting to talk about. Won $503 in about 3 hours. Which basically covers the cost of Carley's upcoming 4th birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese....a.k.a. 'The Rat Hole.' I really hate that place. Bunch of fuckin crooks running that place. Look, if something is broken or not working right? And you know...because you either just KNOW, or several parents have bitched about it? Put a motherfreaking OUT OF ORDER sign on it...instead of just letting one person after another put their token (avg. cost being about .25 per token) in it and being disappointed. And poorer. But whatever. The kid loves the place. And the stupid rat. Whatever makes my princess smile. 

Congratulations to my, well...former I guess...horse, Mike Bratovich...who managed to win his 2nd WSOP ring up at Cherokee in a very large field, over 500 I believe, in the Turbo 'bird.' (see, even I can be a poker dork if I try hard enough) He just got a 2nd place a couple weeks earlier up in Baltimore...so it seems his little slump that led to me having to take a hiatus (at least until our house closes next week) for awhile appears to be over. I'm very happy for him and his wife and kids. Nothing worse than stressing out wondering if you will ever win again. That is the absolute worst.

Great news from Jacksonville. Turns out...the video was, in fact, located, secured, and sent to my lawyer. I got the video, via CD, in my mailbox today. I haven't even watched it yet. Mainly because my new Dell doesn't have a disk drive! My Mac doesn't either...but I bought a ...oh I forgot what they call it, it has some fancy name...EXTERNAL DISK DRIVE! I just have to find it and get it hooked up. Too lazy. Plus, like I said, I've been busy creating "I hate Ted Cruz and Hillary" groups on Facebook, as well as mourning the loss of Prince. And no...I'm not going to even mention Chyna...or whatever her real name was. Look. She came from an alcoholic father, who knows what else, got into weight lifting, then steroids, then wrestling, fought with Vince McMahon, quit, did porn, got messed up on drugs, quit porn, got back into porn again...then more drugs...then....well, you get the picture, she's dead. I saw someone had posted on their wall today that she was an Icon and Superhero. I was like...HUH? Yeah...that's who I want my daughter emulating. People are fucking stupid.

I went broke on Bovada last week. After buying in for $200 a couple months ago...and running it up pretty big...a couple times...finally got the standard, online-poker beatdown. Haven't put anything else on there since. Basically, I stepped up and bought the newest XboxOne last month...along with 15 games. So I have dedicated the next few months to nothing but Stanley Cup Playoffs for as long as the Rangers are still alive...and killing people on XBox. Maybe mix in a few trips to the gym...since I'm on this life-changing diet of mine, inspired by the products of Le-Vel...to put it the way they would like...I'm 'THRIVING' or I have my 'THRIVE ON.' Trying to dump 40 lbs by summer. So far...I've dropped 15-17 lbs...depending on the day of the week and the meal I just consumed. 

MONKEY's 2016 MINIONS are starting to take shape! Keep the applications coming. My decision hasn't been totally announced or decided upon yet...but I'm getting close. How many? Basically, the way I'm going to handle it this summer? And I think this is smart: Commit to sending THREE right away, because, well...I know I can raise $30,000 very fast. Then name Minion #4 then #5...as alternates...or next in line...or ON DECK and IN THE HOLE...and if we keep getting funds pouring in? I will just keep adding to the team. Hell, I'll send TEN if I'm able to come up with $100,000. Don't rule it out. You have no idea of the network of degens I have to draw from! It's both impressive and a little unbelievable too! 

If you are wanting to APPLY or if you are simply wanting to PARTICIPATE as an INVESTOR...at $200 per share....email me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com. And basically, when you send $200 for ONE share? You have a piece of EVERY player that makes the team. As to what each share is worth? It's not your 'traditional' staking format. So you can't just say...."Oh, well two shares is worth X%" because it just doesn't work that way.  Say we end up selling 250 shares? That is enough for 5 players. $50,000. I do NOT take a fee. Never have, never will. I raise exactly enough to put them in the event, period. And I buy shares myself. No, we don't raise money for the players' hotel and/or airfare. The way I see it...if I am giving them a chance to play for 35% of potentially $10,000,000...and they don't have to come up with a nickel of the $10k? Well...they can find their own way out there and own place to sleep. No one has bristled about it in three years yet. And if they do? Well....NEXT!!!


So back to the payouts...potentially. So, last year...I think we had 84 people who bought a total of 250 shares. Wild Bill Phillips was our lone cashing player. I don't remember what he won. Lets call it $52,000. First things first...the $10,000 buy in comes out..and dropped into the prize pool. Plop. Splash. Leaving $42,000. Player gets 35% of that. $14,700 to the player. The other $27,300 goes PLOP into the Investors Fund...bringing that total to $37,300. DIVIDE that amount by the total of 250 shares sold. Comes out to $149.20 PER SHARE.  Which means you lost about $51 per share on your $200 investment...but still got 3/4th of it back. And that was just ONE out of FIVE players cashing. Pretty easy to figure out the ROI. (return on investment) Taxes? Well that's something we handle internally, and it's not really anything major. Just not that interesting of a topic so write about it? But yeah...it is addressed and handled quite easily.

So...I wonder what all these hits are all about the last two days!?? 

I would like to thank the oil workers in Kuwait for going on strike this week...it was solely responsible for the sharp increase in barrel prices, and resulted in two very nice days in the 'ol investment portfolio! Carley's college fund looks much better today! Hoping they can stay on strike for at least another week!

Okay...I gotta go mow the lawn. Probably dial up Pandora and find the Prince channel and reminisce while chopping grass. Speaking of grass...happy 420 Day to all your stoners out there. I know it was yesterday, but I also know how much you guys procrastinate too...so its not like I'm really THAT late.

MONKEY

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