Slow Days Indeed

Today I watched Dwyte Pilgrim on the WPT Final Table from Borgata, the tourney where I cashed (68th out of 1000+) and then rooted for him and Christian Iacobellis to win, with a small financial interest.

I left town the morning of his final table so I never got to see his 'antics.' He called me yesterday (Sunday) and told me to watch...and tell him what I thought about it. I told him I'd already heard from people who watched the first epidsode a few days earlier..and told him I'd already found myself defending him.

So yeah...watched today. Kind of strange, cuz I know the guy pretty well. I suppose if I did NOT know him so well, know that he is a solid player, know that he is a good guy, I guess maybe I would have taken him the wrong way. Which kind of makes me wonder..."Hmmm...maybe thats a little bit what I have going on with people."

Except...what pisses me off, and I had a long conversation with my wife about it the other night...is a lot of people who are talking shit about others...have never even MET the person, or even sat at their poker table. They hear shit..and then, for reasons I will never understand because I was never that 'pile on' kind of mealy-mouth growing up, decide to join the fight and deposit their worthless 2 cents worth. If I don't care for you...I'll tell you right to your face, not go around bad-mouthing you, only to act cool to your face. Man do I hate those losers.

So she tells me how she always has to hear people talking negatively about me...while she is at work, and what she is told she hears from dealers. So then when I ask her if "these players who know me? Who have sat at a table with me in the past two years? Or at all?" There is never an answer. I have no idea what its going to take to make people just lay off of me. I got on meds. I cooled off. I bought an iPad. I quit drinking. Jeezuz, I couldnt possibly be more physically or emotionally 'removed' from the table than I am now.

I've got some 'shit' going on behind the scenes right now that could blow up into a major story...and a lot of it has to do with the perception of me and who I am. What I'm capable of. Yada yada yada. And to be honest, its kind of caused me to slip into a shell of depression. I'm just sick of it. And I'm sick of the people in poker who have too much power. Power that they abuse. It's stupid. Are they helping to make the world a better place? Hell no. Their just assholes. Why are they assholes? I have no idea! I mean...isn't it easier to just be nice to people? Oh, what? That isn't any fun? Not exciting enough?

Nobody needs to ask me for details on what's going on. Mainly because there is some 'manuevering' going on behind the scenes that could result in either a very happy ending...or another frustrating poker defeat. Lets just say, there are a handful of people who are currently making my life hell. But I am working to either make the 'problems' go away, or the people themselves.

As for poker? I have been getting stomped online. I literally went OH for SUNDAY yesterday. In the Sunday Million, I got deep, only to get coolered. In the Mini F-TOPS Main event...same deal...very close to the money and I get hosed. I played probably 25 tourneys yesterday and did not cash ONE! It was insane.

And before I logged on, I had to wake up to watch my Washington Huskies completely outplay and dominate North Carolina...even with Isaiah Thomas having a bad game. But just like in so many close games over the years...we managed to commit a few crucial turnovers, take a few ill-advised shots, caught a few unlucky breaks/bad calls from the refs...and that was that. We lost by 3. And go home. Not that we would have ever survived that bracket...holy crap.

Speaking of brackets...pretty sure all 16 of mine are toast. Thanks to teams like Pittsburgh, Virginia Commonwealth, Wisconsin, Morehead State, and whoever beat Syracuse last night. Another year...another shitfest. I filled up my first $25 board for the NCAA Title Game Squares. The 2nd board is almost full...then its on to a 3rd. My Sweet 16 Bracket Pool already has 150 entries....that should also get pretty big. The other big push is trying to get my Fantasy Baseball league full. The draft is next Monday night...we have 8 teams right now, with room for up to 20 in a Head-to-Head league...where everyone plays for $350 for the whole 6-month season. Definitely glad I am home right now...with all the checks that are pouring in from all over the country.

I take a very small commission on my pools, and what I take I usually turn around and put right back into the pools with additional entries. Sitting around watching the Tsunami/Earthquake/Nuclear disaster unfolding in Japan...I was feeling really crappy about how much these people were suffering....so I decided to try and do something to help. Sent out a plea to the people on my distro list...offering a small incentive (two free 'Good Karma' entries in future pools) for anyone sending a minimum of $100 for Japan's Red Cross. I decided to donate half of my total commissions from my pools, which is up around $500 now. In just under a week, I have raised about $1100. I know its not much...but I know those people are in great need...and I know I will sleep better at night knowing I tried at least...to do something to help.

Talked to Chad Brown a little last week. He is feeling okay...and getting mentally prepared for the radiation treatment he has to get started on pretty soon...but he is real frustrated as he's been getting a lot of conflicting advice from various doctors out in LA. That has to be so incredibly annoying, as well as mentally exhausting. Well, Chad decided to take a break from the 'inconvenience' of cancer...and zip over to the Wynn, to play poker...and WIN...their $2k tourney this weekend! How nice! Today I think he is playing the $5k Main Event there. Good luck to him!

There is an event coming up at Hollywood Casino somewhere in Indiana. It's a WPT event. I think its starting March 28th. I feel like going to play it...I just don't feel like travelling. I'm kind of really enjoying being a bum this month. And I am really being a bum. Sleeping for 12 hours a day. Rarely leaving the house. I love being with my dogs though. And I know Squirrel likes having me at home...well, I think she does.

But I know that I am going to go to South Florida for the WPT event at Seminole Hard Rock. It goes from April 7-27th...and while that one is going on there is another event just down the street at the ISLE...called Battles at the Beach, ohhhhhh! Scary!!!! Pompano Beach...which is just down the street like I said. I talked to Allie Prescott the other day, hadn't talked to him in quite some time. He basically invited me to come and stay at Mike Beasley's new kick ass house down in Fort Lauderdale...with him...and Matt Brady, Jeff Madsen and a couple other fun guys/good players. Not only will that be really nice to save some money on hotels...but it will be a lot of fun. I'm now really looking forward to that trip.

At the same time...there is the event here at the I.P. going on from April 7th to the 17th. I wasn't sure if I was going to be allowed to play there because of who is working the event. I heard through 'the grapevine' that this particular person has made it clear that I won't be allowed to play any event that he is working...and that list is pretty long. Why? No friggin idea. From what I understand there was a 2+2 post or something about him...alledging some pretty serious accusations (don't bother looking for it, he used his connections with that site apparantly to have it removed) that he and his 'friends' decided to credit me for...and now his wife and a few of his staff members are 'deeply troubled' and 'traumaticized' at the prospect of having to work in an environment where I may be present. No...I am NOT making this up. So I guess that he is using another poker loophole, the one that says you can keep a certain player out if any of your staff feels 'threatened in any way by that player.'

Its just another chapter in 'lets see how else we can screw Monkey.' I am almost beyond getting upset or mad anymore. It's just effing laughable now. So anyway, I texted the guy who actually runs the I.P. and asked if my presence there was unwelcomed, stated the reasons why I thought it might be...and his exact response was "There is only ONE person who decides who does and doesn't play in my casino...and thats me!" Then went on to tell me I am always welcome to play at the I.P. Well, hmmm...that was kind of standup. So...I don't know, maybe I will stick around here for at least a few days...play some of those events...and see how the turnouts are. If they get a good turnout then I will play the whole event. If not...then I will thank him for at least welcoming me in and head on down to South Florida.

I just played in Jason Young's Monday Night Super Turbo Shovefest on Lock Poker. I've been kind of promoting it a little bit. He has a deal with them similar to the one I have been offered by a smaller, newer online Poker site. I have tried to help him out in getting his name out there. As far as my own deal goes? Well...I was offered a deal back in October. I wasn't quite ready to pull the trigger yet, and in actuality, wanted to make sure my path back into the WSOP was free and clear, to make them feel like their decision to take me on would prove to be a good one for them. Well, once again...for reasons that will come into clearer focus in the next 45 days...that road/path is NOT without obstacles, again...and I'm glad I didn't take the deal with them when they offered it. Because I would be feeling guilty. And I hate feeling guilty.

Another reason is that I am kind of cultivating a little club of 100+ in my Pokerstars Home Game...with nightly private events. I am hoping that once I get my personal bullshit all cleared up...and I can just focus on showing up, playing well, and winning money...that I can then take this lump of people WITH ME...to this new site, give them a sweetheart of a rakeback deal, and maybe even other incentives. So...I kind of have a plan, it just requires a few other things to fall into place. So...dude, who I KNOW is reading this...who is FROM that internet poker site...I just wanted you to know that you are still in my thoughts. :)

What else? My taxes need to be done. Ugh. Guess that will happen sometime this week. Those clowns got arrested and are about to be tried in court. I just finished writing back the prosecutor with my Victim Impact Statement, which is the first step in getting restitution from the crooks. To think I might get something back is encouraging. Especially with how this year is going so far.

Yeah...I'm pretty sure I'm done here. The Jason Young Shove Fest ended for me in 5 minutes. KQ vs. A10d. Flop King...opponent goes runner runner diamonds for a flush. Perfect. Now about to play in the $20 Post-JY Shove Fest Bounty tourney in my Red Snapper Poker Club on Pokerstars. Should be scintillating. Maybe later I will do a pushup.

Good Night.

MONKEY

Great Week for Hoops...Poker, Not So Much!

When Isaiah Thomas' last second fall-away jumper ripped through the hoop in overtime against Arizona...the mission was complete! My Huskies, for the second year in a row, had won the Pac-10 Championship in LA this weekend...and an automatic bid into the NCAA tourney, again. I was starting to sweat a little when they faded a bit down the stretch, but three wins in a row, two of them over tough teams...cemented their spot.


It was a great game that ended with a back and forth 3-pointer contest...I was stressed out thinking we'd blown the game, and while taking 2 and 3-outers in my online poker tourney...and feeling pissed about THAT...thought we were about to blow the game.


Didn't happen! Victory is ours! Then I see the brackets today. Holy crap...what a lousy draw. The 'Bracket of Death' was where they dropped us...with North Carolina, Ohio State, Kentucky, Syracuse, West Virginia (who knocked us out of the Sweet 16 last year) and Villanova ALL in our bracket...easily the toughest Region of all four. Well...I guess if you're gonna win the whole thing you have to beat the best to do it, right?





So now I'm sitting here thinking...'Hmm...do I wanna take off on some poker trip right smack in the middle of March Madness? I've got my main Bracket Pool, which last year had 418 entries...then my Sweet 16 pool, which had 122 entries...and then the Squares for the Title Game Board...which I've almost already filled the first board for.



Then...right as the Final Game in Houston is played...that Thursday the Masters begins...and my Masters Pool which just gets bigger every year. So I almost feel like just chillin out at home. By the way...if you would like to enter any of my pools...and you're...ahem, in good standing with me...shoot me an email at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com and I will get you the invite and info.



Now down below I have posted my FIRST bracket! Is this the winner? Who knows? Doubt it! I have never won my pool...which is going on 15 years now...this guy Greg Pike's pool...who I used to work with at TBS Sports in Atlanta, and I've been playing his now for 17 years! Just once it would be a thrill to take this sucker down!!!! I will end up filling up somewhere around 30 brackets all together.

Online poker has been one big kick in the nuts all week. Ever since posting a $4k Sunday last week, I have done nothing but get torched. Its so annoying. I tried to dodge the 'cashout curse' by not requesting payment...well, that strategy really worked great. Pffft. I've lost 30% of what I won in just a week...with some of the stupidest, craziest shit you've ever seen.

But why explain it or describe it? We all play online, we all see the same shit. It sucks. So today...after I logged on at 2:30pm...and getting KK in my first hand...only to raise UTG with it...get called by the SB with K8...flopping J-8-8....and going broke on the first hand, I should have seen this as a sign to sit out the day.

Naw. We'll just 'play through the slump' instead, right? Yeah...sure. I cashed a couple times, but min-cash all three times. Had the chiplead in a $12/180 with 16 left...and get bitch slapped three hands in a row, to go out 16th! (nice!) Then in the Sunday Million...I was cruising along...chipleader at my table for most of the first two hours. Then...what else...get QQ behind a guy who's been opening about every 3rd pot. I re-raise. Some Euro-Pro Babe who I'd never seen before wakes up with fucking AA in the BB and I don't have any fold equity. BOOM! half my stack. And it just got worse from there, losing AK to AQ...then ran JJ into KK. Super.

In the one I got real deep in...which was only $2.75 but had a first place of around $4000...I was sitting in about the top 20% when I get AA. Nice. At 1k/2k I raise to 5500. SB calls. Flop comes 2-2-J. Nice. He checks. I bet 6k. He calls. ??? AJ? Turn is a 7. He checks. I bet 8k. Calls again. What the hell? River 9. He bets...he only has a little left. I put him all in. He has...what else? Pocket fucking nines. jeezuz. I was out on the next hand.

Nice four hours of my life that will never return again. So stupid. It would be so incredibly awesome if I could just play online like I play everywhere else and have the same basic results. I swear to God...I would never leave my house.

The rake is SO much better. The travel and hotel costs would be non-existent. I would never have to be away from my wife and dogs. I could work out a lot more often. I could go to the beach whenever I want. And last but certainly not least...I could completely avoid all the ridiculous politics, drama and back stabbing that takes place on the live tourney circuit.

Oh...and there is never a mis-deal, never a blown floor call, you see a shit load of hands online. It just sucks because there is SO much to LIKE about playing online...on top of the list...the value! But the damn play is just so fucking bad...it drives you bananas! And then you have that 'ol question...is it rigged? Are there cheaters? Do they favor certain players? Their are questions that you will never get the 100% correct answer to. So we all sit down at our computer...pay our buy in...and hope for the best. It couldn't be any more comfortable and convenient...but jeezuz, for your mental health, I don't think there is anything worse!

Holy SHIT! How sick is this Earthquake/Tsunami in Japan?!! I sat, riveted, watching the coverage all Friday night as it was occurring...and was waiting to see if anything happened to Hawaii and/or the US west coast...since I have family in both San Francisco and Seattle. It was a bit nerve-wracking. Luckily they all were safe. But the people of Japan...oh my God! And as if the damage was bad enough, they are now facing the horrible reality that four of their nuclear power plants might be about to meltdown. Holy crap, eh? I mean...if that happens? I'm pretty sure Japan is toast...I mean, literally, TOAST. Imagine what THAT will do to the world's economy! I feel terrible for those people. Watching the news and seeing the aftermath, it was pretty similar to what we witnessed here when Hurricane Katrina wiped us out 5 years ago.

I don't know what the hell is going on with our planet...but its getting pretty scary. This prediction by the Mayans that we are set to expire in 2012? Maybe there is something to that. Guess we'll find out pretty soon, won't we?

The earthquake kind of tore the Libyan crisis off of the front page, but they are still duking it out over there...and gas prices continue to escalate. Obama is talking about tapping our Stategic Petroleum Reserve...which is nothing but a bargaining chip to get those clowns at OPEC to increase their output to stabilize the barrel cost. Personally, I hope that gas drops to about $2.80 a gallon the week I drive to Las Vegas for the summer....skyrockets to $5 a gallon while I'm there (and makes me thousands with my oil stocks!) then drops back down to $3 before I leave! Okay...that might be a little unrealistic! But I'm allowed to dream!

I've got two different people hunting for houses out in Vegas. I have immediate rental needs...and on the back burner, the possibility of a home purchase out there...along with two, maybe three other player/buddies...to use as our 'Poker Plaza' while we are there, and a rental/investment property the rest of the time. One of the gals I met through Facebook, and the other girl is a dealer at Venetian...so its nice, the whole Social Networking aspect of finding things you need in life. I have to admit...Facebook has really changed, or rather...impacted, my life. For the better mostly.

Anyway...I think we are getting real close to locking up a really nice place for the summer. I'm excited to have a house again...last summer, staying at the IP...I was pretty miserable. Being froze out from the WSOP didn't exactly help much either. Even if they blackball me again this year...it won't keep me from having a great summer, if we get a nice house with some great people sharing it with us. A pool, a hottub...a yard...good friends...what else do you need to recover from a bad day of poker? Whether it was at Rio, Venetian, or friggin Binions? The answer? NOTHING.

I'm currently watching 'The Hangover' with Squirrel for like, maybe the 15th time...and I swear go God...it gets funnier everytime I watch it. Can't wait for the new one.

We spent the entire day in bed...after a fun night out with her friends. We did hibachi and sushi at Saki in Ocean Springs...then we went over to a new place in downtown Ocean Springs called 'The Office' who one of her girlfriends from the Beau Rivage works at. Jessica...who I have annointed the title of 'Worlds Greatest Cocktail Waitress Walker' is a bartender there. The place was packed...but mostly with 21-28 year olds...so I got a lot of looks from them...you know the looks, right?

"Hey...who brought their Dad?"

Yeah...but for those of you single guys in your 25-35's...this place is really worth checking out. There was a lot of nice tail in there. Live music. Good location. Cool place.

After that we went to 'Venues' across the street from the Beau...and met a lot of people there as well. Squirrel went from 'sober as a judge' to 'whoa what the hell happened to Squirrel' in the time it took me to go to the bathroom and watch like two clips on CNN about the Tsunami. It was actually pretty funny...and she handled herself, well...better than usual!

All in all, it was a nice weekend. Probably should have got out and mowed this backyard that keeps getting longer and longer is now, pretty sure...nothing but weeds. I would drop some weed and feed on it...but the last time I did that, it pretty much killed the whole yard and I had to listen to Cheryl gripe about it for two months. So...I don't know...just keep mowing the weeds that pose as grass? Or kill that shit?

The iPad2 is out. Its March. I guess everyone was right. Wait until March, Monkey...when the new iPad comes out. Dammit. I kind of wish I had waited...but then again, I just downloaded the new operating system to my iPad and it hit me with a lot of the new features. Plus...now that Squirrel and I have gotten addicted to 'Words With Friends' and sit here playing each other...passing the iPad back and forth...and as she gets more and more dialed in on all the apps and stuff, I'm thinking if I have another decent score somewhere down the line...I might have to spring for the iPad2 and give her mine. Lighter...faster, longer battery life...cooler cover/stand...yeah...I've got that techno-itch again!!!

So...okay, think I'm done blogging tonight. Definitely not one of my funnier blogs...and for that I'm sorry. But some of you actually just care what the hell is going on in my boring, stupid life. Like my Mom! So there ya go!

March Madness....I'm ready!

Go DAWGS!

MONKEY

A decent score online? Really?

The seas have parted. Hell hath frozen over. The doors of Rio have reopened to Senor Monkey. Okay...two outa three aint bad.

Sunday my plane landed. Waiting for me was my wife...with my two dogs along. As always, they were happy to see me. I see Harrah's now is offereing dog-friendly hotel accomodations for a slight upgrade in price. Nice move. Only problem? ***no pets over 50lbs are eligible*** Dammit! So Mollie can come but not Jasper? Fold!

Got home. Fell asleep. Was woken up by the multitude of people texting me with 'last second emergencies' which were disguised as last second attempts to get money on their 'Stars account in order to play the largest Sunday Million ever...that ended up having nearly 60,000 entries.

I was only too happy to help, except that they have this little rule, where if you have deposited via eCheck in the last 30 days...that money is locked up from transfers until it 'clears' after 30 days. Anything you win OVER the amount you deposited can be transferred, but if you haven't won anything....well, tough luck! That applies to me!

I'm sure glad they woke me up though, or I would have slept through the whole slate of tourneys. In the Sunday Million...on literally the fourth hand I played...this guy shoves all in for nearly my whole stack...and I'm looking at KK. Oh gawd. Not again. Whatever, I call. He had AK. I held...and didn't look back for hours...sitting at or above the average until well into the money.

Yeah...I outlasted 52,000 other poker players. That should feel good, huh? Why doesn't it? Oh...I know why. Because I only won $354. Why? Because...sitting on 54,000 chips...with the blinds at 1500/3000...this guy who had been raising my BB from the button all game...does it once again. I have 99. I shoved all in on him...and after tanking...calls with K7s. Yeah. King Seven of spades.

It wasn't the stupidest play I saw all day....and I saw a LOT of them...but it was pretty surprising, considering we were playing for $1.6m and we both had about the same amount of chips. He didn't hit a 7. Nope, instead, he got the 'ol gutshot jack on the river. Yeah....I was pretty pissed.

The only thing that kept me from totally flipping out at my near online poker huge score...was the fact that I was heads up at the time in one of Pokerstars' many guarantee tourneys...this one a $10 Turbo...with 3149 players. First was $4900, 2nd was $3700.

I'd had a few breaks along the way...so 2nd place money was looking pretty sweet...and when we got heads up he had me 3 to 1.

But I started quickly making up the margin and thought I was about to take a huge lead when...holding K8d...I flopped A-8-K...with him betting into me. We would end up getting it all in...only to see him turn over A8. Ughhhh....gross. Not cool, P'stars trolls, not cool! Regardless...coupled with the Sunday Million cash...booking a $4,000 profit playing online was without a doubt my best day of online poker in a couple years. My luck online has been abysmal. Things returned to 'normal' the following day, as well as Tuesday...as the standard beats started ending my runs.

I think my favorite was when...at 20/40...this putz raises to 80...with K5 offsuit. I re-raise to 240 with AK. Folds to him, he calls. The flop comes K-6-3. He bets out 200. I raise to 600. He calls. Hmmm. Turn is a 4. He checks. I bet 1000. He calls. River...7. MmmmmHmmm....straight. I bust. Nice hand sir.

It is utterly amazing the hands people play online like they are top 5 hands. Which causes you to get caught up in a virtual guessing game. (a) is this guy just bluffing again? Is my top pair and decent kicker good? (b) does this guy actually have a good hand here and I'm about to cost myself my whole tourney? It truly gets to the point sometimes where it IS like roulette...black or red? Bluff or the Goods? Then there are those moments when you have no other choice but to convince yourself that the other person opposing you is using some form of cheat software...that there is simply no way to explain what just happened to you.

I don't think there are any of us who don't go through this. Enter in...'The Cashout Curse!' I am a firm believer of this theory. Cashout...experience cold runs, the likes of which last days, sometimes weeks. So I decided to NOT cashout anything...to see what would happen. Yeah...I've made a couple deep cashes and a final table in the last two days...but still I've gone from $4200 to $3700. At what point do I let that balance dip before I make a withdrawal and tempt the Cashout Curse Goblins to wreak havoc on my online poker playing soul?

Moving on.....

My Mother is becoming a Monkey Blog addict. She emailed me Monday, Tuesday, and again today...badgering me about 'no blog yet!??'

I was a really bad friend to Kai Landry yesterday. He asked me if I wanted to pay $50 to ride on a float...this after procurring around $100-$150 worth of beads and other 'throws' at the local Mardi Gras store...and meeting him at 9am to partake in liver-killing, bead-chuckin, and people-watching.

The good news is that I am almost positive he had a good time regardless. The bad news...is that the 'old me' would have jumped at a good time like that. The truth is...I haven't even unpacked from Chicago yet. My luggage is just laying there next to the bed. I've bathed once. I haven't left the house. I've done nothing but sleep, love on my dogs...watch some TV, play some online poker...and goof around on my iPad, discovering all kinds of things about it I had yet to learn.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I depressed? Am I just tired? Not really sure. I am in the midst of dealing with another 'chapter' in the WSOP/Jack Effel saga...that after conferring with ten of the people who are closest to me, have still not come up with anything resembling a resolution, or solution to the problem. I know a lot of you are curious to know what is going on...but to tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I know what is going on. I am exploring a lot of options, and hoping that common sense and reality end up winning out in the end. I have no desire, nor reason...to talk at length about whats going on in this blog. After all, I've yet to see anything resolved in the past based on what I wrote here. If anything, its done nothing but lead to more problems.

This blog has been the subject of a lot of chatter in the last three years. Some of it good, some of it bad. Some of it controversial, some of it inspiring. If nothing else, writing a blog that is read by a lot of people has taught me about the human spirit, its taught me who my real friends are. It has shown me just how scared some people in power are of losing their grip on their role in society. The lengths to which they will go to sully and disparage people that they would otherwise never have a reason to. I have family members that ask me, aloud...'why write the blog?' They see the upheaval it has caused me, and my poker career.

A year ago...well, January 16th...our home got robbed. Just to show you how ugly and mean-spirited people can be...I had several anonymous comments made on my dashboard here where I was accused of 'staging' the break in, others who said I 'deserved' it. It was a major low point in my life...as well as my wife's. The investigation dragged on for months. Well, when I returned from Chicago...sitting on my office desk is a letter from the District Attorney of Harrison County. Included in the letter is a 'Victim Impact Statement' which I am to fill out and return to the court, for them to use against the two defendants, Melissa Margaret Rivers and Jody Eric Wheeler who have been indicted in case # B2402-2011-39.

I will fill it out, answer all the questions...but I seriously doubt anything will ever come of it. What I lost last year on that day...is about what I am sitting on right now...after 4 lousy months of poker. It's kind of ironic I guess that the letter should arrive now.

What does this have to do with writing a blog? I don't know. Nothing I guess. Some people, friends included...think I give up too much of my personal life on here. That I should just focus on 'poker' and include a few funny 'snippets' here and there...and keep it at. That taking up 'causes' for the 'little guy' should be something that I leave to other people. People who might be a little more 'insulated' than I am. It might not be bad advice. Maybe I will move away from discussing such 'hot button' issues from now on...I mean...shit, I don't know.

Today, a box full of brand new BUSTOUT POKER apparel arrived on my front door step. About 8 t-shirts...a new hat...and a jacket...none of which I had. Pretty kick ass. Actually gave me the desire to put one on and go play a live tournament somewhere. Jeff and his partners are doing a good job with growing the line...but not too fast. We are assembling a pretty good team too. I sat next to Dave Sesso, a fellow Team Bustout Member, in the Main Event in Chicago...nice guy, really solid player.

During the past week, I have been following the last mission of the Space Shuttle Discovery. I mistakenly thought this was the LAST shuttle mission, period. But it was only the last Discovery mission...as there are two more scheduled missions this year...one with Endeavor, and the other with Atlantis. And then...a long history of Shuttle Missions...that pretty much covered the entirety of my youth and adult life...will come to an end. Its kind of depressing.

I watched today as the Discovery touched down for the last time...at Kennedy Space Center. I reflected back on the first launch...in 1981...when I was just 13 years old, and space flight was exciting. Then in 1986...when I was a senior in high school...and sat in the student union with a bunch of my friends and fellow students...and watched the Challenger take off, then explode...killing the entire crew of 7. It was one of those days in our life...like the JFK assassination for our parents, like 9/11 for those after us...where you remember where you were that day, what you were doing, and what your thoughts were at that moment.

It was the same way...but for some reason not quite as much of an impact, when the Columbia disintegrated on re-entry over Texas back in January of 2003. I guess that Challenger somewhat prepared us for the tragedy of losing a shuttle and all of its crew. I have gone on to look at the list of all the shuttle missions, and what exactly their primary achievement was. I think of all the technology we have now that is so dependant upon satellites...and have to assume we owe a lot of that to the sacrafices that our astronauts and NASA have made over the past 35 years. I'm going to be sad when the last shuttle touches down later this year...feeling like a small part of me is dying.

Meanwhile, the entire Middle East is in total upheaval. I, for one...and not meaning to sound stingy or like a total infidel here, am so glad that after selling off my oil stocks (etf: USO) I bought them back when they were down to $29 a share. The craziness in the Middle East has it back up to $42 a share now. I'm not sure what to make of the situation over there. And I will tell you one thing...I see no reason why we are obligated to lift a finger in the Libyan mess. I mean...if we had rebels trying to take over our country...and another country came in trying to assist them, what would that say about THEM? I think we just let them fight it out and see what happens. As for who inherits the reigns if Quadaffi is overthrown? Does anyone really know? Already we have seen the initial leader of Egypt forced out of office after just weeks. Is this a movement where Islamic radicals are going to eventually rule the entire Middle East? If so...I see dark days ahead for Israel, and a likely World War III scenario. Scary.

Hmmm...what else? My yard needs to be mowed again. My taxes need to be done. We have absolutely NO FOOD in the house. Oh...yeah, March Madness is about to start. I sent out my big announcement to all my pool players yesterday. Last year I got 418 entries...by far a record. The eventual winner was Lou Salamone...a poker player from St. Louis...who, I would make fun of except that he always brings me deer jerky!!!

If you are interested in playing in my March Madness Pool...or any other pools and would like to be added to my distribution list...email me at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com

I guess that is about enough for today. Mom? Happy now?

MONKEY

A blizzard...then a bust out.

Dammit!

How many times am I going to bust out of a Main Event with pocket Queens? It is utterly amazing. 2006 WSOP Main Event. 2007 WSOP Main Event. Aruba Main Event. Borgata Main Event. Beau Rivage Main Event. And now...Chicago Poker Classic Main Event.

Don and I arrived, on time...and discovered we were at the same table. Ouch. We didn't have any real huge stacks on our table...which was nice to see. Things started bad for Don with his 22k in chips. His BB got raised...and he flatted with 44....saw a painted flop and folded to the guys bet. About four hands later he shoved all in over the top of an early position raiser...and got called by AK. Don had....yeah...QUEENS.

The flop came 9-10-J....great flop for Don...reducing the other guy to an Ace and killing the king as an out....or needed Don to make a set...which the dealer did on the turn, pulling a Queen out, and Don was gone. Sucked. Don then went back to the hotel, packed...and left!

My day started like crap too. Raising...getting called, c-betting, and getting jammed on. Happened twice...and suddenly I was short. I hung around for 3 levels...with 10 big blinds or less...until I got it in with KQs...got called by 99. Naked flop, flush draw on the turn, Q on the river. Whew! Double up to 24k.

Blinded that down to 15k. Got it all in with A10. Called by KK and JJ....in a huge three-way all in pot. Oh no! Turned an ace. Triple up to 54k. Wow. Back in it!

Then...20 minutes before the dinner break...with my sister on her way down from Milwaukee to hang out with me and go to dinner, I get those damn queens, in the BB...and with this guy who had been constantly raising my blinds. This guy was creepy looking. He's hard to describe. You know that actor Chris Elliot? Looked a bit like him...like a miniature version...with horrible teeth. And when he'd raise he would make these weird googly eyes. Yeah...I was fixated on this guy. So once again..he raises.

Guy in the SB...who just about everytime he asked "how much are you playing behind" it was guaranteed that he was about to raise...utters that phrase again. So I sneak a peek at my hand. Oh shit! There they are! The dreaded Queens. Dude re-raises from 5100 to FORTY THOUSAND!

Jeezuz. Well, there is no way that is AA or KK. Maybe AK. But not likely. I think he's just using his newly acquired chips to try to muscle this guy. Well...as much as I don't want to be miserable and moody when my sister arrives...I shove all in anyway. I get called in both places. The first raiser has AK. The guy on my right has A10. Offsuit. Yep. You would think I was in pretty good shape there right? Yeah...you would think.

Flop....just killed me instantly. It was like going in to be tortured and someone just meets you at the door and cuts your head off.

"Oh...so I guess we're gonna be skipping the torture today?"

A-10-10 BOOM! Gee...guess I need to root for a queen, huh?
Yeah well, didn't happen. My heart just sank. Wow. 304 started. 66 were left...and I was in excellent shape to chip up to 160,000 and cruise to the money. But instead, I was OUT! This one really stung.

My sister arrived. We went and had dinner, and had a nice talk. It was good for getting my mind off of the bustout. Squirrel got on the phone and got me an earlier flight out of here. So instead of leaving Tuesday afternoon, I am leaving her in 5 hours....another 6am flight. Ugh. But the good news is that I will be home in time to play all those huge tournaments online tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I will finally have a good day of online poker. Sure would be nice!

Sorry I didn't have better news to report tonight. Its done nothing but snow since the minute I walked out of my hotel this afternoon until I just walked back in. Hope my plane is able to get out of here!

Thanks to Steve Frezer, Charlie Cerisi...and all the local guys from here like Jason...and all the great dealers for being so kind to me this week. They all did a fantastic job..and even though I didn't have what amounted to a great trip, it was very pleasant to work with such good people. It's always nice to play in an event where things are run so well.

Have no idea where I am going to next. I do know that I am going to enjoy just being home for a little while. Doing NOTHING. Y'all have a nice Sunday!

MONKEY

Un-effing real! Cutoff raises. Donkey in SB re-raises huge. I shove with QQ. 3 calls. AK and A10 (donkey). Flop A-10-10. Out 70th.

Surviving Day One in Chicago

I know. I haven't blogged in a few days. I have no good excuse for you. I left you hanging with tales of a victory in the nightly. Well...now that two days of losing have followed, I am...of course, fixated on THAT. But yeah...I guess I should be more pleased that I managed to rollercoaster my bankroll back to even for a few days with the nightly win/chop.

Bottom line, there were 150 players. 18 got paid. Made the Final Table...lost 4 players...structure blew up in a bad way...where the average stack was about 7 big blinds and we all had between 120-160k. No one was safe. They were adding a Main Event seat for the winner (value=$3125) and since three of us already had a seat, we decided to have one of us sign for first, take the cash...and just divide the whole prize pool 6 ways. So we all got what amounted to 2nd place money....$2250 each. I have gotten increasingly ambivilent about chopping, especially nightly tournaments...but this one was a no-brainer.

What was that? Monday? Tuesday? I don't remember. The next two days pretty much sucked, I know that. Thursday was Mega Sattellite day...and I was really hoping to win at least one mega, and hopefully two. I won zero. In the 3rd one...at 11pm...and with 5 to go til the seat, I ran AQ into A10...why I thought I would win that I have no idea. Boom goes the Monkey.

To the guy who sent in the comment claiming that I was only 55% to win the hand in the Sunday Million with KK vs. AQ...I would like to know where you went to school so I can make sure my kids never get within 100 miles of that campus.

I played the $1100 Heads Up Championship on Tuesday. That was fun. Yes...that is dripping sarcasm. My first match was against an older gentleman. He was nice. I won 80% of the hands. Then when I had him down 5 to 1...he would double up. Back and forth this went...until we were down to only 5 remaining tables in the room (out of 120'ish). I was starting to think I would never put him away...and then finally, I did.

My next match was against a guy named Larkin. Supposedly Larkin means something in Norwegian that has to do with some kind of bird. This guy was one of the winners of the 'high card' event down in the cash room. Yeah...it was obvious. Raising preflop was a waste of time. Added to the frustration of playing heads up against an obvious limit player who requires seeing all 5 cards no matter what...was the fact he looked like the teacher on Southpark who sports Mr. Hand as his #1 companion. As you may have predicted, he defeated me. Just when I thought I had him set up...with middle pair and an open ended straight draw, I got him to bite...only to watch him hit a set on the river that failed to complete my straight. OUT! Dammit!

By now you are probably wondering what in the hell the video up above has to do with today's blog. Am I correct? I'll be right back...I've decided if I do NOT eat something RIGHT now I am going to die. I have 90 minutes til go-time.

Okay, I'm back. I'd like to thank McDonalds for putting some kind of funky chemical in their food that made my Southwest Chicken salad somehow survive in my hotel room's refrigerator without changing in consistency in any way. I find that pleasing, but incredibly eerie.

Congratulations are in order, from what I understand...for my father-in-law Sonny Johnston. He has been playing more and more poker. Occasionally he comes to visit me and the Squirrel and stays with us at our house. I've heard from a few dealers that he is a pretty okay player. Well, one of you posted a comment here that you chopped a tourney with him in Tunica recently. Cool! So...congratulations Sonny...keep it up!

Chicago's transportation infrastructure is a joke. Apparantly, one of the Chicago cab companies bought all the other companies a few years ago...creating a monopoly. This is what I was given as an excuse when I asked why I sat at Horseshoe waiting an hour and a half for a friggin cab back to my hotel, which is 4.1 miles from the casino. Have you ever been to a casino where there isnt a steady stream of cabs? Yeah...me either. I give you....Horseshoe Hammond.

So, I just woke up a few minutes ago. I turn on the TV...and playing in front of me is dude from the Man vs. Wild show...in a Degree antiperspirant commercial. Its all about Survival. And he has these clowns decked out in friggin meat ponchos. Brilliant. I immediately thought of Kai Landry. This idea is straight from the mind of that little maniac.

Pain...that is what I experiencing right now...as, in mid bite of my salad, I just took a gigantic chunk of flesh out of my upper lip...holy shit. Nice hole...that willl give my tongue something to annoyingly toy with all day today.

Meat Ponchos. Yes. Clever. And very good as comparative analogies go when comparing it to getting through Day 1 yesterday in the Main Event here in Chicago. The nice folks here who run things in Chicago, once again did their promotion where they high-card tables in the cash room during the month leading up to their tournament, handing out entries in the Heads Up Championship as well as the Main Event. Its amazing how deep these guys reach into their own pockets to juice their prize pools. The result is that it creates a wild card environment for us full-timers. You need to figure out who those freerollers are and figure it out pretty quick, or it WILL come back to bite you on the ass...kind of like these wolves who are chasing the guys in the meat ponchos. MEAT PONCHOS...freaking hilarious!

First things first. I owe $20 to two seperate guys. Stupid me put the over/under for entries at 632 in the Main Event. Pffft. Nice one Monkey. Only 304 showed up...which is still pretty respectable, and has generated a 1st place prize of $226,000...which I will be more than happy to smuggle home with me on Wednesday, on my flight...since I will NOT be winning the BMW...dammit. And they beat last year's turnout by something like 50...so their event is improving. But yeah, I was way off...so I gotta pay those guys today.

Don (my roomie on this trip) and I arrived on time. My first table was super annoying. On the 'other side' of the table I had three super aggressive young punks...two who were wearing those faggy glasses that seem to be popular now. I hate them. One of them thought he was the second coming of 'The Situation'...with his stupid white glasses and faux hawk that I'm pretty sure went out of style about 4 years ago. The other guy spent the first hour of the tourney getting a $2 a minute massage and practicing tough guy looks whenever he would three-bet someone. Yeah...I was hating this table. It was iPad time. I found a good movie to watch...and then fired up a game of 'Words with Friends' which is just like Scrabble and appears to be very popular...since getting into a game against some random opponent is a breeze.

Yeah...I would again like to thank Apple for making my life so much better. My wife spent the first three hours trying to 'pep talk' me into not losing my mind at the table. Hell, I was fine. Its not like these twerpy clowns put me on tilt. They don't. I have the ability to just sit there and internally despise people without it affecting my game, or without me starting to target people.

Then, seated on my right...was a guy who, wow how do I explain this guy? He was about 5'2"...had a squeaky voice like an elf...and you could tell he was constantly trying to be acknowledged. Early in the action my AQ with an ace on the flop had to be folded to his huge river bet when every possible draw was completed on the river. When I folded an ace face up and he showed me one 8...I had that little urge to see how many strikes I could roll if I signed up for a game of midget-bowling.

I wont bore you with hand play. I would be moved twice on the day, which I hate because it affects the continuity of play in a Main Event. You really want to draw a late breaking table so you can dig in...prepare for the grind...and study your opponents, so you can use that to your advantage.

I just didn't get that lucky, so I had to quick-study everyone and do what I could. I did okay. There is a certain strategy that I have been employing in Main Events...and I think it might be responsible for the amount of cashes and Final Tables I have made in Mains in the past year.

The thing about Mains is in just about all of them now you get 1 hour levels and an assload of chips. The players are kind of hodgepodge from everywhere. You see a lot of 5/10 cash game players and higher...guys who can't be bothered to play in the $300-$500 tourneys...but who see that quarter of a million prize for first and are drawn in. You also see a lot of the online grinders who play all the high buyin events online. Those two groups are very easy to pick out. The cash game guys are always trying to dominate the table and chip up early. The online guys are always anxious to make all kinds of 'plays' and instill fear into the table...making everyone know who the 'real player' at the table is.

I don't begrudge either of these groups or dislike their strategy. I just happen to know that it isn't very effective. Do I sometimes wish I could come in with their style of play and sit there ramming and jamming and putting in 4 and 5 bets with shit like 4-8 suited and 4-6 offsuit? Mmmmm.....no thanks. Its just not necessary to over-inflating pots in level 3 to the point that you have no way to back yourself out of the hand by the time the turn card arrives and you have bluffed about 75% of your stack into the pot going to the river.

It was absolutely comical to watch 'cash game-fag glasses-macho-massage guy' build his stack to over 60k and lose the ENTIRE stack on one hand...when we were at 150/300.

About 45 minutes before it happened...and while watching him on the preceeding three hands, I said to the munchkin sitting next to me....

"this guy is going to completely blow that stack up...and very soon. In fact, I don't even see him making the dinner break."

"No way...not him. No way he will blow up his stack. Maybe that guy in the two seat, but not him."

Monkey the Greek strikes again. Cue the blowup. Seat 8 busted. Taking his place was Indian (dot on head kind) guy arriving with 80k. He was in on the chop with me the other night and is a pretty solid player...even though he looks like an ostrich...which is the only thing I can seem to focus on when he's at my table. Its bizarre.

Ostrich shows up and gets hit with the deck. Our little table dominators start to get pissed off that there is a new table captain. So when the dummy raises with Q6h...our new Indian fellow re-raises...and raises quite a lot...with AA. Retardo calls. Flops nothing, turns nothing...and after having pumped 75% of his stack into the pot by the river...blasts his final 37,000 chips all in, only to be called...muttering those words we all love to hear from our opponent, when they don't even turn over their cards, and just whimper...."you got it man, nice call." See ya later, pal!

Ridiculous. I saw that shit all day yesterday. Do these guys have any clue that they are playing for a quarter of a million dollars? It would appear not.

Well, I have decided to use a very methodical approach to playing these Main Events...instead of putting myself and my stack at risk every hand. Its pretty simple...with deep stacks and long structures...you can easily sit there and play nothing but top ten hands only. I use patience as my weapon. I don't get involved with bad hands in bad position. And as my game has improved to the point that I am very effective at putting my opponent on their hand, I can often times beat them post flop just by figuring out where they are.

As long as I stay at or around 20 BB's I never feel like I am out of it. I don't care if the stacks around me are growing to Mt Everest-like stature, I know that those guys are just as likely to see them toppled as quick as they grew them. But let someone run into me with their whole stack of 25BB's holding JJ because they are afraid to play flops and let me wake up with AA...and I grow my stack without having to do much work. And then I can sit there watching another movie on NetFlix...or playing another game with someone, or just listening to music...patiently waiting on another player to make a stupid mistake, and being the beneficiary.

These structures just allow you to play a game where patience is the key component. I just make the decision not to get into a battle of ego and pride like a lot of these guys do. They think once they have made that first or second raise, that they can never back out of it. The whole point of no return style of play is just wreckless and unnecessary.

I have to get ready to go now...Don is pacing the room in that nervous way of his. He has 22k heading back...and I have a little over 39k. The blinds are 500/1000 and we have 172 of the original 304 players remaining. 36 will get paid...and I doubt we will even be in the money by the end of today. But I just want to be there at the end of today. I want to end this trip on a big positive note.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

MONKEY

Monkey

Windy City Weirdos

One of the things that sucks about writing a blog that a lot of people read, and apparantly rely on...is that if I let a couple days get by me without posting, and people start badgering me for a fresh one...I let a lot of good material slip by me due to how fast it piles up when I go to a place where lots of whack jobs reside. Feel free to lump Chicago into that category.

Oh before I forget...and I'm not going to include a link because I don't feel like re-directing you today...got to YouTube.com and in SEARCH...type in 'Randal's Animals' and watch what comes up. Kai sent me a link to one on the 'Nasty Ass Honey Badger' while I was at my Mom's last week. We were all playing a board game...like 8 of us. The result was complete laughter. There are other good ones too....a white shark one...a zebra one...mmmm one with flamingos and a baboon. Hilarious. Randal is gay...like, REALLY gay...and he is doing voice-over on top of a National Geographic video. What reminded me of that was the mention of the word 'badger.' Check it out.



Don't take that the wrong way, Chicagoans. I like the city. The people are very nice. Most of them, anyway. It's a real nice casino. Not sure why they don't have a hotel attached to it...that's a bit odd. Having to pay for drinks is kind of downer...not as much now as in October, since I decided to stop drinking to please the Tournament Directors and Floor Supervisors of America...not that it has appeared to do much good. Huh? What Monkey, you ask? Do you have something to tell us? Yes...I suppose I do. But...in a bizarre 'not like Monkey' open field reverse...I'm not going to. Sorry...some things need to remain in the clubhouse, ala Bobby Cox style.

When we last left off I was securing my seat in the Main Event. Ohhhh happy times, happy times. Lets see how good I have gotten at summarizing and cutting to the chase:

Showed up Saturday. On time. I know. Shocker. Field of 980 for the $350. Nice. Played 5 orbits. Established everyone's 'image' and on a limped pot for 50 each and 6 callers, I raise out of the big blind with AKh to 250. UTG guy insta-raises to 1k. The rest fold. Hmmm. AA or a 3-bet resteal? Totally capable of the latter, is this guy. So...with 15k in my stack, I decide to see a flop. I call.


Flop comes Kc-4h-7h. I check(raise). He bets 2000. I raise to 5000. He immediately shoves all in. Fuck. Has to be AA. Or could he be trying to rep AA and maybe have QQ? Could we have the same hand? And I'm freerolling the flush draw? Or does he just have AA like I think he does? I can't bring myself to fold. And so I don't, I call. He has AA like I thought. I fail (again....pretty sure I'm 0-2011 in that situation so far this year) to hit a flush....or God forbid, hit another K. OUT!




I go buy into the 7pm tourney. Then head downstairs to play some Sit N Gos. This will be REAL brief. I am pretty sure I made Monkey history in 1 hour and 37 minutes. In three sit n gos, I finished 8th, 9th, and 7th...and...ready for this?




NEVER....WON.....A.....SINGLE....FUCKING....HAND!!!!!! Thats right. Not ONE! Was I freaking out? Mmmmmm.....a little bit, can't lie.

Go upstairs and decide to play the $350 Mega Satellite at 5pm. AA gets cracked. KK gets cracked. AK gets cracked by AQ and I was out. Shit!


Just in time for the 7pm tourney. Honestly...I don't even REMEMBER what happened in that...other than I know I lost!

Go back downstairs. Meet up with some cool dudes I met in the nightly, guy named Tim...good player, wears a Notre Dame jersey. Bought me a drink. OOOppps. Ugh oh. No drinking in poker, Monkey. Don't do it. Well...its one drink. Its a SNG...there SNG area is IN their side lounge, for chistsakes...its like your playing in a saloon in the wild west. How can you NOT drink in THAT environment!??? I mean....really! So that one drink becomes 5. Captain and Ginger. Delicious. And amazingly...nothing bad happened!


Well, unless you consider losing ANOTHER two sit n gos bad...which, dont get me wrong, it was bad...but I was just having too good a time to get all worked up about it. I was 0-3 on the day in tourneys...and now 0-5 in damn SNGs. Tremendous run there Monkey you assclown. Then...not sure how...I win the final SNG of the night. For $700. And my deficit on the day went from $1800 to $1100. Almost acceptable. All day I just kept telling myself...its okay Monkey , its okay, you have your Main Event seat locked up. Don't worry about it.


Wake up Sunday. With all intention of going and playing the 8-game. Or maybe it was 7-game. Not sure. In any event, not my specialty. But wanting like hell to win that BMW...and figure it will be a small field. Or I can wait and play the $240 with $100 rebuys at 2pm. Hmmm. Oh. Or...I can do a total reversal and stay in bed, order room service and play all the big tourneys on Pokerstars. Because when I play online poker it's always a good place for me to go when my life is wrapped in insanity.


Combine those options with me erroneously thinking that THIS Sunday was the Sunday where the Sunday Million was a guaranteed $5m. And the $1m Turbo Takedown was taking place. There was a race on TV. My brain kind of hurt a little. Sold. Staying in.

30 minutes in I realize the Sunday Million with the big added money is NEXT weekend. Shit. Oh well. I play em all. I get deep in everything. And I min cash in all of them. Bought into the Sunday Million. Got up to 29,000 at 200/400. Cruising along nice. Then it happens. The standard Pokerstars assfuck.





In the BB. With KK. UTG just shoves 6000. Nice! Folds around to the button...who OVERSHOVES 28k. Wonderful. Smells like AK. Such a Pokerstars overshove. And as bad as I've been running with KK on Stars...I almost have myself convinced that I should folk. Then I realize...dude...no way in hell the guy has AA. The utg shover could have have AK/AQ..this guy might be drawing to two outs. Or even have JJ/QQ. Can't fold. I know I know...its $262,000 for first...but you aren't going to win folding KK in that spot. So I call. He has AQ. Offsuit. Nice play sir. UTG guy has 66. Clean flop. Turn....son of a bitch....ace. I go out a few hands later.

Just can't figure out why I can't EVER have a good run in a meaningful situation on that damn site. Why is it everytime I play deep on there I run into that shit? So annoying.

Next up? Nightly. Got punched out right at 7:10pm. Can just shower and get over there in time. Really? Think so? Fuuuuuuck that! At 7:28...and a full 32 minutes still to get there and get in....I get to these railroad tracks, which are being filled at the moment with a train. A long train. A very, very, verrrrrry long train. WTF. OMG. Then...at 7:34...it stops. Yup. Just stops. And sits there.

7:40pm...tick..tick...tick....7:45pm.....tick,tick,tick,tick....you gotta be kidding me. 7:55pm. Is this a sign? It must be. I text the floor guy...then another one. Tell him my plight. Whew...he's gonna keep registration open. Finally, at 8:10pm the damn train moves. Then spend another 15 minutes trying to find a parking spot. Jeezuz. Finally get in there for level 4.



Chip up rather quickly. Had a nice table. Everything going smooth. Couldn't be happier. Then my table breaks. Hmmmm. 28 left. Paying 18. Sitting on 25 bb's. New table has about five people at it I find to be, mmmm, distasteful. The guy next to me...old black guy, wearing the outfits that mechanics wear, wearing a huge puffy jacket OVER it...who just sat there mumbling incoherently. "Huh?" "Sir?" "Pardon me?" What in the hellllll???



Seated next to HIM...old guy...bad hair that is dripping dandruff from his head...reminds me of my old step dad Mark Magnuson...who I secretly hope goes to hell and is tortured by Satan's little helpers when he dies. Also sporting a long, gray mustache...which is especially perfect for NOT hiding the leftover crumbs from his dinner earlier. Sick.



And then....next to him...we have, 'The Woodchuck' and ohhhh how I wish I had snapped off his picture. This guy....ugh. I hadn't even really worked up any angst towards this guy. I was kind of off in my own little never, never land. But I was casually observing the table. In seat 2 (I was in seat 8) was I guy who I met at one of the events this fall, maybe here? Not sure. But he's real cool, and really seems to think I'm something. Since later he kept feeling the need to take up for me and tell people 'glittering' things about me and my accomplishments. I mean...it was nice of him, but at the same time...it was a little awkward. Regardless, I appreciated his intent.



'Chucky' was one of those guys...who I am 98.4% confident, is one of those dudes who all throughout junior high and high school watched as his buddies made varsity and he was stuck on JV...mainly because he was short. I mean..it HAD to be, because he was short last night...so obviously he was short BACK THEN too. Pretty sure he didn't SHRINK...and it is obvious he never GREW. I also suspect, based on his 'Ginger Kid' appearance, that he was also that guy who was just on the cutting edge of 'likeable' by the girls, but never quite able to get over the edge of mediocrity, and was forced to spend his adolescent years dating the girl no one really wanted.



Are you getting a picture of this guy? Well imagine that he is about 35-40 and has the misfortune of having the hair at the top of his dome defecting to the floor and other surrounding areas. Add to that his unfortunate dental situation. Wait! You remember that guy on 'Seinfeld' that borrowed Jerry's coat then didn't want to give it back? Was he maybe the dentist? Tim guy? Or was he a comedien? Not sure...but every time he talked, it was like he led with his incisors? Remember that joker?



Damn, battery is going dead. Gotta finish this later. In the middle of a sit and go right now that I'm chipleader in with a $100 and $20 last longer. Wouldnt mind winning this shit!!!!



Be back in a while!




Okay, I'm back. And I have to say...while I was away...a lot happened. See this guy up here? That is a piece of gum hanging out the side of his face. He has been talking me up since I got here. Knows my name. Seems to like me. Is fairly likeable himself. A relatively decent player...pretty sure he's a full timer at the cash table. Has a father who, I am told, looks like he is out of central casting for the role of 'mob boss.' And the way his kid acts...with the swagger and what-not, I wouldn't dispute that to be the case. He kept asking me if I was going to put him in my blog...and I kept telling him I didn't really have a good reason. Well...now I do.

He violated Pet Peeve #2 yesterday. In the first round of a sit n go, I limped with A10. Flop came A-x-x. I bet 200 on the flop. This crazy old woman with banana titties and chewing gum with her mouth wide open....calls. Then this guy raises to 500. I'm fairly positive he is making a play. I call. So does the seahag. Turn is something harmless. He just open shoves the turn. It smells like bullshit. And I really want to call. But its also early. Screw it. I fold. The crazy lady folds. He shows a 4. There is no 4 on the board. No straight draw. Nothing. Air. He starts doing this obnoxious gum chew/gum twirl on the outside of his mouth thing...that made me, mmmmm....irritated.

So stupid. No reason for it. Made no sense. I like the kid...a little bit...but that was just stupid. At any rate...he would bust out before I did...and that was my secret victory. My other victory would come later in that SNG when I would not only win the SNG for $575...but would also win all of the last longer for another $440. A nice 1k pull. Yesterday was a good day...I will get into everything else later.

For now we need to finish up by talking about these two fellas below, here.

I am also coming up against the clock...as I have registered for today's $1100 Heads Up Championship...which will be featuring 86 players who have acquired their place in the tournament by being in the cash room and getting high-carded by the floor. Can you imagine how many of these people are going to have ZERO experience playing heads up? I'm pretty excited for it. And it starts in less than an hour...so I need to hurry up.

I would like to introduce to you all...the Smack-Talkin Sandwich Crew from CollusionVille. There were 3, possibly 4 members of this crew. They signed up early...then decided to go play slot machines, and round up sandwiches. I can't say I hated their strategy...mainly because I liked it, endorse it, and do it often. Meaning...going nowhere near the table while all the lousy players bust each other and/or out. Coming back after about 45 minutes you usually discover there to be about 4 or 5 missing and your stack in adequate shape.

Through a little inquiring, I found out the deal with these guys. First of all they are the members of some kind of 'charity poker tournament' organization. Secondly, they had been running 'crew' on sit n gos all day already...having won their last two in a row. Third, after observing them for awhile it became very evident that they were the worst colluders in the world. Never was it so glaring as when the one guy....holding 1300 chips at 300/600....announces that he is going all in dark on the button. Which he does. I had about 6500 at that point...in the small blind, but had J3 and had no interest in doubling him up.

One of his teammates, however, had KQ suited...in the BB...and 2300 chips. For another 700...he folds. And folds face up. Huh? Me and the dealer exchange glances of 'what the fuck was THAT?' Pretty clear if it wasnt yet...what was going on here.

So at 4 handed, it was ME...against the three of them, with two winners...and I had 80% of the chips in play. Still, I didn't feel all that confident.



If you look real carefully you will see this guy wiping his face with his shirt...while holding his sandwich in his right hand. At no time did he let the presence of large bite of sandwich in mouth keep him from talking...and talking loudly...all while working on another mouthful of food. It was disgusting. I'm not sure there is ANYTHING grosser than someone shooting their mouth off with a hole full of food.

However, if you DID need something more annoying...it was this guy...and thank god he wasn't at the SNG the whole time. Everytime he came back, he commanded the space that three players would usually be able to take up. Then...he was white, however...if you closed your eyes, or were blind...and just listening to the table, you would think HE was the black one and the black one was the white one. Well...okay that might be a reach...but you get the point. And he also was eating his sandwich like he hadn't eaten in 12 days. And talking with his mouth full of food.

If you haven't put two and two together yet...I wasn't exactly having a great time. But now I was up against the Collusion Boys...four handed...so I was being very careful, and finding great places to three-bet shove to shut them down. These guys might be able to run crew on most of these people here...but me? Forget it. Way ahead of these guys...seen guys 10x better at running crew than these boys. They never had a chance. And when the dust settled, it was the Monkey sitting on all the chips. See that stack? the only thing missing from the 20,000 total chips in play was the 800 the other 'winner' was left with...as the other two somehow decided which one of them was going to officially finish as the 2nd winner. I'm guessing they all split the $575 three ways. Stupid.

Look, if you ARE those guys who try to enhance your chances of winning sng's by teaming up, it really makes no sense to have THREE of you playing in a 2-winner SNG. But I suppose you'll figure that out with a little more experience.

I ended the night with a nice win in my one and only SNG...to get me over losing the nightly in such ugly fashion.

Now that I think about it...I didn't even go into detail about how the nightly ended I don't think.

Now I'm running out of time so I will have to be brief. Old man dandruff/food in stache shoves the button on me...when I clearly saw him NOT look at his hand. I call with A10. He has K2. Hits a 2. Of course. It sticks. Long story short...I lose THREE consecutive hands where I am a 60/40 favorite (two live cards, both overs) and went down in flames.

In the course of losing...there was a minor 'flareup' when I observed the Woodchuck in an apparant tirade. I pulled back an earphone and asked what was going on. This guy was all pissed off that me, and/or anyone else was allowed to have "all of your little toys on the table (iPod's, iPad's, cell phones, etc) when we aren't even allowed to talk in the hand...like when we are heads up! Its bullshit!"

Huh? What exactly do those two have to do with each other? He went on and on about it. Old guy next to me....he calls floor and tells them there is a dispute and that we are slowing down the game. The dealer tells the floor guy that there is no dispute, and that no one is slowing down the game. Floor guy leaves. No warning is issued. I look at this guy wondering if he was that little shit in grade school who was always seeking brownie points by doing shit like going to the principal and ratting people out for stuff they may or may not have been guilty of, in an attempt to get on their good side. What a clown. A 60 year old clown.

I hate it when I go from one table of such cool people, and am having such a fun night...to a table of such complete douchebags...and especially when I watch my chips go down the tubes to donkey players who get lucky. Sucks so much. Then to find out from a local guy here who I've become pretty chummy with that after I busted, and he took my vacated seat, that they were all talking shit about me after I left the table.

I love the spineless weasels who won't ever say boo to you or about you when you are at the table...but leave the table and they all start to pile on. I guess its just like the same haters who act like they are my buddy when they see me...but then will turn right around and talk shit about me when I'm not around, or post anonymous comments on here. It doesn't even really bother me anymore. I have a lot more to say about the types of people who play the 'nightly' events...its a special kind of mutant...but I am really running out of time. It is now 20 til noon and I have to take the damn shuttle...and am hoping there will be a delay as they do the drawing for the heads up matchups.

GOOD BYE. Have a nice day. I won the nightly last night...details to follow later!!! Hopefully with more good news about the Heads Up tournament.

MONKEY