Monkey Monday

Hey everyone!

Well, wow...what a weekend.

The bad news? I still haven't received word from the Beau Rivage people (Warren Mason) on if and/or when I can come back to the casino. While I sit and wait my buddy Rooster is in there chopping up the 20K guarantee on Saturday. That is just ridiculous. If I were there he would have been lucky to get his buy in back!

Alright Rooster....take it easy. In reality...I was on the phone with him the day before, listening to him whine about the bad beats he's been taking lately. We were in the middle of my telling him the story about all this bullshit with the 2+2/Western Union...Jonathan Little AIM scam....when all of a sudden he's mumbling under his breath..."hold on dude, this is a big hand"...he's playing 2/5 at the Beau.

This is what I hear next.....
"You what? I'm all in! Huh....what's he got? Oh my god! FUCK! I'm outa here!"

We then decided to discuss how he could have played this hand a little different. Guy raises UTG. Rooster looks down at QQ. He raises from $20 to $50. Other guy...who BTW is holding KK....smooth calls. Flop comes K-Q-7. Of course he thinks he's good here. Guy checks. Rooster checks thinking he's slowrolling the guy. OH..Rooster has $650 in front of him. Turn card is a 3. The first guy decides now to bet. He bets $100. Rooster....calls. The river is a K. Now this is where I think I might start getting nervous. The first guy bets $150. I think here, I look at the board and start thinking to myself...."hmmm, self, what is out there that can beat me?" A couple things...for sure...and the pot is already very nice. I think I better just play this one cool and flat it. Nope..not Rooster...he moves in. Cant beat QUADS with a boat. He leaves, indeed, and proceeds to talk about how bad he's been running this month.

This is the same guy who has clipped FOUR Royal Flushes in video poker this month. Went to Atlantic City and got deep in almost everything he played and cashed a 2nd chance tourney. The thing is...Rooster is getting spoiled by success. I understand that. When I first got started playing tourney poker, I was happy when I cashed. And if I cashed once a month..it was still cool. But the more you play and the more you win....hell, you expect to cash every tourney. And half expect to make every final table. Reality is such that...its just not that easy. There are way too many land mines.

The other bad news is that I am getting KILLED in my fantasy leagues. ALL OF THEM. ALL FOUR OF THEM! Every time I have a big week, the opponent has a bigger week! IN my Confidence Pool I am almost in dead last. IN my Survivor Pool...I am completely OUT of one guys. In my $25...my 7 entries are down to TWO! In the $100 Survivor Pool..my 5 entries are down to 2. I've taken rebuys on FOUR of them..so I am in for $900 in a pool that will pay about $15000 to win. I NEED to win! I am still in the NCAA SURVIVOR...and that is getting dicey too! All these upsets! What a crazy football season! I have NO IDEA who the best team is right now...in either league! I know one thing...I would do ANYTHING to see our AD at Washington fire Ty Willingham...its getting ridiculous. In fact, we are now the West Coast equivalent to Syracuse! Its not cool!

On that 2+2 thing...I just want to say thanks to all of you who either emailed me your support or even went on there and posted on my behalf. Wild Bill, Gene, Reid and a handful of others came in and said some very nice things. Thanks again. That was very trying...and I almost lost my mind for 24 hours there! It did bump up the traffic on here, that's for SURE! We went from an average of about 65-80 hits a day to over 600 the day it was all hitting the fan. Wow.

I learned a lot about people in those two days. I've never been a guy who sits and reads those forums. I don't know if its because I don't have time for it, aren't that interested, or just refuse to get wrapped up in the ugliness that those things seem to perpetuate. Its funny, back in the mid 90's, when chat rooms became all the rage on AOL...I participated for...not long. I would sit there, see what people were talking about..and noticed that inevitably the conversations would ALWAYS turn ugly. Someone would invariably say something that would piss someone else off, and then it was WAR! I don't know, really, what the reason for this is. Maybe because of the invisible barrier that the Internet and their computer provides. I think you find your quintessential COWARDS on those things. Guys who will say and think what they KNOW they could never say to your face. I have a pretty high opinion of human beings in general. But after a day and a half of trying to fight a war on that damn site, I was seriously losing my faith in people. I think the best thing for me is to completely stay away from those if I want to keep liking people!

This weekend was a total online poker weekend, and while I was spending a great deal of time breaking things around the house, I did finally have some success for a change. On Friday I won my way into Sunday Turbo Takedown on Stars. That thing is great. You can buy in for 5000 FPPS, which is a LOT, or you can try to satellite in. I did that latter, for 625 FPPS, ended up chipleader out of 485 players...20 got in. Well, I played that on Sunday...first place getting $100,000! The pay line ($90) started at 4000. With 4092 left, and players dropping like flies, I pick up 10-10 behind a raiser...but this guy is raising every other hand with a big stack...just playing bubble poker, in my opinion. Well, I am in kind of a bad spot. I have only 3800 chips, blinds are 600/1200...and I'm not really playing to JUST CASH...I need to take a shot at a double up. Even if I fold, I might not make it still. I am three from the BB. What the hell I move all in. He calls with AQ...a pretty good hand. First card out is a Q and Im out on the bubble. That sucked!

On Saturday..after going O FOR FREAKING 14 in SNGS to start my glorious Saturday...I bought into the $9.90/360 tourney. Then I bought into the $3 rebuy. I bought into a couple other ones and next thing I know...I have $3.63 left in my account. Great enough for ONE rebuy in the $3 rebuy. Somehow I discovered the eCHECK thing on Stars...and get an instant $100 deposit. NICE! $100! That $100 quickly becomes $33 as I take on ridiculous beat after another. But at the same time I am getting very deep in those other two tourneys. I make the Final Table of the $9.90 tourney...$861 for first. With 6 left...my ALL GAME LONG nemesis calls my raise like he ALWAYS does with A9 suited. The flop comes 6-7-8. Not bad. He checks. I bet. He calls. Turn card a 10. NICE! He bets now. I raise. He moves in. Well, duh, I call. He has 77. A set....no, god no..dont do it. RIVER? 8! Full HOUSE. Im out. $145. Dammit! On to the 3 rebuy. Dude keeps moving in on my BB from the SB....like EVERY time he has a chance. I just keep folding. He does it again. We are in the money... but not REAL deep...at around 100....we started with 3834. I see 10-10. Screw this guy. I call. He has AK. YIKES. Flops an A. Turns a K. Damn...nice game guys. Then I notice there are 4 hearts out there and I have the 10 of hearts, right about the time a heart hits the river giving me the flush...and a double up to about half a million! Awesome!

Well, we get to 27 players. First place is $5400. I am starting now to get very excited. Cheryl comes home from work...wanting to go out with her friends. Yeah...Im staying home, sweety and trying to win $5400. She would later go out and lose her phone. Good night for her! 27 left...and I pick up AK. I raise 120k (blinds are 20/40k) Shortstack goes all in for 200K...I HAVE to call him. The jackass in the SB who has been reraising all night with shit like A4, A8, K10...goes over the top all in! Lovely. NOw, typically I would fold AK here...but because its THIS CLOWN...I have to call and hope I can at least BEAT HIM....even if small stack beats me. Its a perfect situation when I call and see the hands. Small stack has AA. Yikes. But donkeyboy has AQ. NICE. Assuming small stack wins...I am still going to make 300K on this hand and chip up to about 1 million and be in the top 3. Cancel those plans! Flop comes J-8-10..turn J river.....NINE. Donkey beats me AND the other guy. I go out and pocket a HUGE $120. I was so pissed. But at least it felt good to cash deep in two tourneys on Saturday...the day I NEVER cash on that site. Followed that up with a win in a $12/45 sng later that night...so it was a pretty good day on Stars for a change!

Meanwhile...Sunday I went and picked up our new puppy that Cheryl found through her e-mail network. Kind of mutt I guess...kind of looks like a black lab, with some pit bull and great dane in her? Yeah...picture that if you can! She's very sweet and loveable though...and I think a great playmate for Jasper, who was clearly lonely and missing Tuesday a lot. I love dogs.

Cheryl is off today...she just got home from getting her new phone. She is tapping her foot and wants me to quit writing this and take her to sushi. So I guess I better, huh? I will probably grind away on here...every day, at least till I hear from the Beau. In two weeks we head to Seattle for two weeks to help my Mom move...then come home and play the IP tourney...I hope to GAWD they have fixed their structure, they are touting it with "ALL NEW STRUCTURES" so I hope that is what they are alluding to! Then after that...straight to LAS VEGAS for the deepstacks at Venetian! Can't wait for that!
One of the guys who reads this frequently researched through Cardplayer who had the most final tables this year in the world...and I am in SECOND FREAKING PLACE with 8. I guess CUB has to be in first, doesn't he? Wow, that is pretty freaking awesome..two good 'ol boys from the sticks leading the world in final tables! I think with IP coming, and about 15-20 tourneys at the Venetian, I should be able to squeeze at LEAST another 4 out of this year. Even if being #179 in POY isn't that noticeable, if I can get 4 more final tables and get into the top 50, and lead in Final Tables...that would be something to be proud of I think!

Okay...she wont stop whining...and I can't stand that more than anything there is. So I will bid you guys adieu. Happy trails!

PS: Finally took a chance to sit and read GENEd's Blog..and I have to say...dude is funny. Met him for the first time up in Tunica. He was very cool. I had seen his face a lot but never made the connection on here. He has some very funny tales to tell in his blog..if you haven't read it, you should check it out...definitely good for a laugh or two!

This is Bill.

That wasn't Shannon Shorr two posts ago. Per his suggestion we are going to review all comments before they are posted until this thing blows over.

FINALLY!!! ALL MY LIFE IVE BEEN ASPIRING TO BE ACCUSED OF BEING A COMPUTER HACKER!!!!!

....and now I can add that to my resume! I don't have a clue how to hack! A CLUE! You all hear me on here....rambling on and on about how mysterious online poker is, how I always feel like people can either SEE MY CARDS, or have the ability to know what is coming next. And in the three games I played tonight...don't you know I would run into THREE of those exact situations...but enough about that...I have a FOR REAL EMERGENCY going on....this is sick.

Today...I wake up. At 1pm. After playing online and going from $345 to $86 through one ridiculous bad beat and suckout after another. Lost with AA last night 7 out of the 8 times I had it. I went to bed feeling so HOSTILE! At 1:15 I log on to check my email.

BLING! I get an IM from Jcardplayer11...who I remember from our days of IM'ing three years ago, before he became JONATHAN LITTLE...we both were living in the same town, and all we had in common was poker. Never even met him until a tourney in New Orleans a couple years ago. I thought I saw him on Friday up in Tunica in that tourney that I eventually Final Tabled. Well, he shoots me a message, claiming he wouldn't ask me if he didn't think I would trust him enough to actually do him this favor. His buddy...who is down in Peru...not sure why..don't recall any big tourneys there, but I know they DO have one...so who knows maybe he is just there playing cash game....at any rate, tells me he got robbed at gunpoint....was carrying around 19K (real clever) and lost it all. Tells me he is in London for WSOP over there...and has no way to wire him any money. Like a retard...I don't do a lot of research on whether they have Western Union over there, or a good facsimile. No, matter of fact, I pretty much fall hook, line and sinker for this. I saved about the last 2/3rds of this conversation...THANK GOD! because about one hour ago.......

I am in a freaking $2 MTT on PS and some player, an observer...types in the chat bar...Hey Pokrmnky...you get that $900 yet? I say NO! But are you the one who is supposed to be sending it? Because I am freaking out thinking I just got scammed! Well, he was actually clowning me, it turns out. Goes a little into detail. Then I go check out the forum on 2+2 and about fall out of my bed. In fact....I get sucked out on in ridiculous fashion in both games I'm in on Stars...as I am reading this thread...and I throw my laptop across the room, hurl my book at the window and punch the floor fan...breaking the fan and cutting my hand. I go outside...lay in the grass...look up at the sky, and ask GOD why the hell shit like this happens to me. Is the suspense killing you? Well....lets just say...I am now $530 lighter in the wallet, and have a bunch of people SUGGESTING that I hacked JONATHAN LITTLES AIM account and duped people out of money! HA! I got duped! It was suggested by Shannon Shorr....who, well, after you see what he posted...you could easily understand why! HERE is what HE POSTED!

Re: Someone just hacked my AIM, Jcardshark11
The following conversation took place an hour ago. I was already aware of Jon's account being hacked. I was able to retrieve both of the "desired" account names, and I'm almost positive I'm sure who is behind it all (I'll reveal below). Maybe Admo (or anyone who's in touch with the folks at FTP or PS security) can, at the very least, get this guy banned from the sites.Jcardshark11 (9:54:39 PM): heyMe (9:55:03 PM): hollaJcardshark11 (9:55:05 PM): supMe (9:55:11 PM): not much just got back from gymJcardshark11 (9:55:18 PM): sickJcardshark11 (9:55:25 PM): are you on stars?Me (9:55:33 PM): not playin at the momentJcardshark11 (9:55:41 PM): im in london right nowJcardshark11 (9:55:49 PM): can you do me a huge favor ?Me (9:55:52 PM): thought you might beMe (9:55:53 PM): how is itJcardshark11 (9:55:55 PM): goodJcardshark11 (9:55:58 PM): a lot of people hereJcardshark11 (9:56:06 PM): won 2200 at 5/10 downstairsMe (9:56:15 PM): good workJcardshark11 (9:56:24 PM): do you have cash on ps?Me (9:56:45 PM): siJcardshark11 (9:57:21 PM): can you send $900 to T H E P O K R M N K Y Jcardshark11 (9:57:35 PM): I will return it in the morning I have to go back to this cash gameMe (9:57:43 PM): yea npMe (9:59:27 PM): jonMe (9:59:28 PM): is that ftpMe (9:59:29 PM): or starsJcardshark11 (9:59:33 PM): starsJcardshark11 (9:59:50 PM): if you want to send on ftp its thepokermonkeyJcardshark11 (10:01:00 PM): ttylMe (10:01:08 PM): later broJcardshark11 (10:01:15 PM): shady manMe (10:01:23 PM): huhJcardshark11 (10:01:33 PM): my boy said he didn't get itMe (10:01:41 PM): lol gimme 5 seconds sillyMe (10:01:43 PM): opening clientMe (10:01:50 PM): which you preferMe (10:01:53 PM): ftp or starsJcardshark11 (10:02:01 PM): let me ask himJcardshark11 (10:02:25 PM): ftpJcardshark11 (10:03:49 PM): ok thenMe (10:03:50 PM): k WillMe (10:03:52 PM): should be there any secJcardshark11 (10:04:09 PM): whereMe (10:04:29 PM): lolJcardshark11 (10:04:51 PM): smdMe (10:04:58 PM): WillMe (10:05:03 PM): aren't you too old for this?Me (10:06:47 PM): This could be a lot of trouble for you, I think.Jcardshark11 (10:06:53 PM): haha Jcardshark11 (10:06:55 PM): fake names ruleJcardshark11 (10:06:57 PM): smdJcardshark11 (10:06:57 PM): gtfoAn interesting aside is this website: http://pokermonkeytalk.blogspot.com/From the picture, I recognize this gentleman from occasional encounters on the tournament circuit over the last 2.5 years, and I even remembered that his name is Will Souther. I thought it would be interesting to see what kind of reaction calling him by name would elicit. I can only imagine how far his heart sank upon me calling him by name. This guy used to hit on my then-girlfriend in front of me, and I always considered him complete scum while doing my best to avoid him.
Using his name, Jon and I were then able to link him directly (atleast through what he listed on P5s) to the account "thepokermonkey" on FTP that he gave me. That page can be found here: http://www.pocketfives.com/profiles/ThePokerMonkeyCase solved IMO. Hopefully this will somehow be useful. At the very least, I don't think Will's going to attempt to hack anymore AIM accounts.SS

Yeah...I wont attempt to hack anymore...MAINLY BECAUSE I DIDNT HACK ANYONE! AND DONT KNOW HOW! I have already sent email messages to SHANNON and posted my response on that forum...which is HERE:

stranger
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
VICTIM NOT THE HACKER!!!!
TO EVERYONE READING THIS...first let me say, I AM NOT A HACKER! I WOULDNT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT IT! IN fact, feel like the hack VICTIM every day on pokerstars! I saw Shannon Shorr's post about me, calling me out by NAME. I understand after reading what he posted why he would think what he thought. ITS BS. I have been involved in this ALL DAY...and fell for it. I sent $500 via WU to some SUZAN MAGANA HARRIOT who was alleged to be this FRIEND of JONATHAN LITTLE's who got ROBBED down there...since HIS ID had expired. YES, My BS alarm was going off...but I somehow thought it was sincere. It appears that it wasn't. SO I AM OUT $500 (+$30 to send that damn money) to whoever hacked (I suspect that is the case) into Jon's account and hit up everyone on his IM list. WHY he would ask Shannon to send me $900 I HAVE NO IDEA! He only told me he would send me $750 and that is all I was expecting. IN FACT...HE WANTED ME TO SEND $375 in exchange for $750 and I thought that seemed very slimy of ME! So I told him I would send $500! WHICH I DID. And now...after tearing up my whole damn house...I feel like the biggest sucker in the world! AND FYI... Shannon cites me as a scumbag who hit on his girlfriend in front of him...for the record...I DIDNT KNOW HE EVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND...I would NEVER DO THAT...and if something like that did occur, I TOLD HIM I was sorry, and of course, would have been. I have more class than that! I just registered for an account on here so I could make this post, after someone on PS tipped me off to it...when they tipped me, they were actually bashing me...and I didn't even KNOW IT! I thought it was the other way around. Thanks for the direct to my BLOG Shannon, guess I need to go on there now and make a post. Jeeezuz...what a night. I hope to GOD you people believe me.

FOLLOWED BY THIS ONE:

Re: Someone just hacked my AIM, Jcardshark11
SHANNON and EVERYONE involved in this. YOU ARE WELCOME TO CALL ME 850 341 3780. I have NOT CLOSED the IM from JCARDPLAYER11 since I started the conversation with him early today when he asked me for money. YEAH SHANNON..you pretty MUCH DID throw me under the bus! But I will forgive you, because if I were in your shoes, and saw that IM conversation the way YOU SAW IT...I would be pretty freaking suspicious too. IF ANYONE knows of a way for me to RECOUP this $500 that I just got scammed out of, please let me know...because I'm stupid when it comes to all this stuff. Ive never read these forums or posted or anything...this blog I got this summer for the WSOP was my first exposure...and Ive enjoyed it. I just dont UNDERSTAND why this shyster would IM shannon and ask him to SEND ME money...after he had just ripped it off of me. ALmost feels like some kind of weird setup. This is like a movie. Except I dont want to be the character. GOT NOTHING TO HIDE EVERYONE. HAVE THE RECIEPT FROM WU...and the IM with JCARDPLAYER11....will scan and or copy/clip send to ANYONE that wants to see it!

THEN I DECIDED TO POST THE ENTIRE CHAT THAT I HAD WITH WHO I THOUGHT WAS JONATHAN LITTLE. OH and just for the record...I have NO IDEA who SHANNON was talking about regarding "hitting on his girlfriend." I didn't even know the guy HAD a girlfriend. MY first encounter EVER with Shannon was 2 or 3 years ago out in RENO/LAKE TAHOE when he was just getting started...he won a tourney out there and it was rumored (by some of my friends who were dealers) that he STIFFED the dealers after winning. I made a comment to him...and it wasn't ugly. Told him something to the tune of "You know Shannon, you seem like a great kid, and your game seems pretty solid. I can see you winning a lot in the future. they are saying you stiffed the dealers. Man...I don't know if its true, but if so, I wouldn't think that this is the reputation you want following you around. Some guys DONT tip,and they have their reasons. I don't know if that's the case with you. Maybe you just forgot. Most people wont say anything to people about ANYTHING doesn't involve them, and maybe you think I'm out of line, but I'm pretty outspoken...and I think your a good kid, so I'm telling you because I give a damn." I think he pretty much blew me off. I didn't make much of it..and every time I see him I am always cordial with him, and he cordial with me. So him announcing that he deems me a SCUMBAG is a little surprising, and frankly, pretty upsetting. But...you know, I know I haven't done anything to make him think that so I guess I just have to roll with that punch. He did approve me on his Facebook as a friend, so....HA! Guess I have to re-examine my friend list, huh?

HERE IS THE CHAT THAT I HAD WITH who I THOUGHT to be JONATHAN LITTLE THIS AFTERNOON..the last 2/3rds of it anyway......

Re: Someone just hacked my AIM, Jcardshark11
Jcardshark11 (1:52:54 PM): This sucksThePoolMonkey (1:54:55 PM): what?Jcardshark11 (2:01:20 PM): whats the locationJcardshark11 (2:01:22 PM): on your starsThePoolMonkey (2:01:36 PM): it says BILOXI MONKEYJcardshark11 (2:05:31 PM): Did anything go through?ThePoolMonkey (2:06:32 PM): not yet.ThePoolMonkey (2:06:36 PM): to stars?ThePoolMonkey (2:06:40 PM): ill keep looking.ThePoolMonkey (2:06:47 PM): fixing my fantasy football lineup.ThePoolMonkey (2:06:56 PM): lost by .15 points this week...to go to 0-3...ThePoolMonkey (2:06:57 PM): ****Jcardshark11 (2:07:04 PM): im 2-1ThePoolMonkey (2:08:36 PM): i am in one of my leagues.Jcardshark11 signed off at 2:08:37 PM.Jcardshark11 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.ThePoolMonkey (2:08:38 PM): 2-1Jcardshark11 is unable to receive offline IMs.Jcardshark11 signed on at 2:08:42 PM.Jcardshark11 (2:08:51 PM): NiceJcardshark11 (2:08:53 PM): whos QBThePoolMonkey (2:09:14 PM): 0-3 team i have brees and keep losing by fractions of pts.ThePoolMonkey (2:09:25 PM): was leading last night...but opponent had leon ****ing washington...ThePoolMonkey (2:09:36 PM): my league you get a nice fat score for KO returns.ThePoolMonkey (2:09:38 PM): he killed me.Jcardshark11 signed off at 2:09:39 PM.Jcardshark11 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.Jcardshark11 signed on at 2:09:42 PM.Jcardshark11 (2:09:51 PM): That's gross ThePoolMonkey (2:09:55 PM): my toher team i have Kurt Warner/C.Palmer and Pennington...ThePoolMonkey (2:10:07 PM): using the toher two as trade bait once the bye weeks get by me!Jcardshark11 (2:11:07 PM): My friend has called two times in the last 30 minutesThePoolMonkey (2:11:20 PM): your buddy in peru?Jcardshark11 (2:11:23 PM): yesThePoolMonkey (2:11:27 PM): i bet hes freaking out.Jcardshark11 (2:11:29 PM): im trying to rushJcardshark11 (2:11:31 PM): i told himThePoolMonkey (2:11:31 PM): im sorry...ThePoolMonkey (2:12:03 PM): i will be there as soon as it hits.ThePoolMonkey (2:12:10 PM): not getting into any games...ThePoolMonkey (2:12:25 PM): even though im itching to...any time a new version hits i want to get on there...ThePoolMonkey (2:12:36 PM): befor the hackers have a chance to punch through their software...Jcardshark11 (2:27:31 PM): Did you fall asleep?ThePoolMonkey (2:27:39 PM): nopeThePoolMonkey (2:28:08 PM): watching a very bad episode of MAD tv.ThePoolMonkey (2:31:22 PM): toby keith made 48 mil last year. wow.Jcardshark11 (2:31:37 PM): wowThePoolMonkey (2:31:41 PM): someone was talking about you when i was in vegas.ThePoolMonkey (2:31:47 PM): cant remmber who it was...ThePoolMonkey (2:31:57 PM): about not capitalizing on your successThePoolMonkey (2:32:11 PM): i had to somewhat agreeThePoolMonkey (2:32:28 PM): unless you got deals none of us knew/know about.ThePoolMonkey (2:36:01 PM): hey....im gonna go throw my dog his ball....ThePoolMonkey (2:36:18 PM): ill keep checking to see if anything has hit...and when it does i will run to WU.Jcardshark11 (2:36:24 PM): okJcardshark11 (2:54:34 PM): UghJcardshark11 (2:54:35 PM): Another phone callJcardshark11 (2:59:47 PM): Hey you here?ThePoolMonkey (3:11:15 PM): yeahThePoolMonkey (3:11:53 PM): my balance is still 82.36Jcardshark11 (3:11:53 PM): Im waiting on my friend to get hereJcardshark11 (3:12:00 PM): I sent him the last 40k i had on starsJcardshark11 (3:12:24 PM): Hes supposed to be getting here in the next 3 hoursJcardshark11 (3:12:41 PM): Hes on a plane or I would of done had the $ sent to youThePoolMonkey (3:12:44 PM): how much do you have on tilt?ThePoolMonkey (3:12:51 PM): yeah i understand that...Jcardshark11 (3:16:49 PM): Is there anyway you could send him $375? I swear on my reputation I will transfer you $750 on Stars as soon as my friend gets here, The flight is in 44 minutes he said, That's the only reason I asked youThePoolMonkey (3:17:13 PM): i suppose.Jcardshark11 (3:17:29 PM): Let me ask 1 other person firstThePoolMonkey (3:17:43 PM): wouldn't be a real smooth move for you to dick ME would it? with the big mouth that i have...and my blog...which apparantly is getting more hits than the website its on!ThePoolMonkey (3:18:08 PM): but i wont jam ya THAT bad....475 for 750.ThePoolMonkey (3:18:11 PM): that's a ****ty deal.ThePoolMonkey (3:18:19 PM): im not an ******* for crying out loudThePoolMonkey (3:18:29 PM): you can make it 'worth it' but i dont need a handjob!Jcardshark11 (3:18:41 PM): hahaThePoolMonkey (3:18:54 PM): well...unless its heidi klum....then yeah....hand job pleaseJcardshark11 (3:19:01 PM): or shannon elizabeth!ThePoolMonkey (3:19:10 PM): or amy reid...if we're going porn starJcardshark11 (3:20:13 PM): hahaThePoolMonkey (3:20:20 PM): i'll go down now and send $500...it will cost like $48 to send that money....Jcardshark11 (3:20:29 PM): Ok sounds goodJcardshark11 (3:20:32 PM): $750 you say right?Jcardshark11 (3:20:36 PM): I will send for fee tooThePoolMonkey (3:20:37 PM): sounds more than fair.Jcardshark11 (3:20:37 PM): $798ThePoolMonkey (3:20:44 PM): im leaving now.Jcardshark11 (3:20:53 PM): OkJcardshark11 (3:20:59 PM): ThanksJcardshark11 (3:21:01 PM): Ill be aroundThePoolMonkey (3:21:15 PM): dont make me regret it. i know you wont.Jcardshark11 (3:21:21 PM): I wont dont worryThePoolMonkey (3:21:23 PM): at least i think i do.ThePoolMonkey (3:21:56 PM): does he or she know who is sending themoney?Jcardshark11 (3:22:01 PM): Yes ThePoolMonkey (3:22:02 PM): i think they do...to request it.Jcardshark11 (3:22:10 PM): They are at the place nowThePoolMonkey (3:22:15 PM): and by the way...what is your phone number? I will text you the control number when i get it.Jcardshark11 (3:22:43 PM): 850-281-1028Jcardshark11 (3:23:01 PM): Tried to text you a bit ago and it wouldn't workJcardshark11 (3:23:04 PM): Do you have texting?ThePoolMonkey (3:23:40 PM): of course i doThePoolMonkey (3:23:45 PM): you must have ****ed up the numberThePoolMonkey (3:23:49 PM): 850 341 3780ThePoolMonkey (3:24:08 PM): tell them its coming from COREY WILLIAM SOUTHER...and dont ever tell anyone my first name or Ill kill you.ThePoolMonkey (3:24:10 PM): im outa here.Jcardshark11 (3:24:19 PM): Im not sure my texting is workingJcardshark11 (3:24:22 PM): I just triedThePoolMonkey (3:25:48 PM): its because you are in london.Jcardshark11 (3:25:52 PM): Yes i guessThePoolMonkey (3:25:55 PM): my buddy lives over there.ThePoolMonkey (3:26:00 PM): i should have known that.Jcardshark11 (3:26:05 PM): Can you text my sn?ThePoolMonkey (3:26:07 PM): you will have to wait till i get back here i guessJcardshark11 (3:26:07 PM): from your phoneThePoolMonkey (3:26:15 PM): oh yeah i have internet on my phone.ThePoolMonkey (3:26:17 PM): good idea.Jcardshark11 (3:26:18 PM): Ok goodJcardshark11 (3:26:24 PM): ill wait aroundJcardshark11 went away at 3:26:33 PM.Jcardshark11 returned at 3:28:42 PM.Jcardshark11 went away at 3:30:14 PM.Jcardshark11 returned at 3:43:53 PM.Jcardshark11 (3:58:55 PM): Ok thanksJcardshark11 went away at 4:02:27 PM.Jcardshark11 returned at 4:14:35 PM.ThePoolMonkey (4:18:12 PM): im homeThePoolMonkey (4:18:18 PM): everything go through?ThePoolMonkey (4:18:42 PM): i gotta mow the lawn.Jcardshark11 (4:19:52 PM): yesJcardshark11 (4:19:59 PM): i will get that $ to you as soon as he gets hereJcardshark11 (4:20:00 PM): tylJcardshark11 (4:20:03 PM): ttylJcardshark11 went away at 4:21:32 PM.Jcardshark11 signed off at 4:27:16 PM.Jcardshark11 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.ThePoolMonkey (7:45:58 PM): you there?Jcardshark11 signed on at 9:48:40 PM.ThePoolMonkey (9:49:27 PM): heyJcardshark11 (9:50:18 PM): hey manThePoolMonkey (9:50:27 PM): kinda freaking out over here...Jcardshark11 (9:50:35 PM): why?ThePoolMonkey (9:50:36 PM): of course my fiance is telilng me what a dumbass i am.Jcardshark11 (9:50:39 PM): just got back from casinoThePoolMonkey (9:50:52 PM): well I went to call your number to leave a message..and its a girl named alicia...ThePoolMonkey (9:50:56 PM): so...you know....Jcardshark11 (9:51:15 PM): that's my sisterThePoolMonkey (9:51:16 PM): that lingering....'oh boy did i just get scammed' feeling is creeping in...ThePoolMonkey (9:52:00 PM): why did you give me your sisters phone number?Jcardshark11 (9:52:10 PM): i brought it with me to vegasJcardshark11 (9:52:15 PM): to london*ThePoolMonkey (9:52:47 PM): so your friends flight get in okay?ThePoolMonkey (9:52:55 PM): your buddy get his money in Peru.?Jcardshark11 (9:52:57 PM): he hasnt made it to my roomJcardshark11 (9:53:00 PM): let me checkJcardshark11 (9:53:06 PM): i won 2200 downstairsThePoolMonkey (9:53:09 PM): nice.ThePoolMonkey (9:53:12 PM): 10/20?Jcardshark11 (9:53:15 PM): 5/10ThePoolMonkey (9:53:20 PM): london hyatt?Jcardshark11 (9:53:24 PM): radissonThePoolMonkey (9:53:27 PM): oh yeahThePoolMonkey (9:53:50 PM): been fighting all night with my fiance about poker, marriage, having a baby...being gone too much...****!Jcardshark11 (9:56:15 PM): what was the stars nameThePoolMonkey (9:56:36 PM): T H E P O K R M N K Y (biloxi monkey)ThePoolMonkey (10:05:38 PM): what is it like 4am over there?Jcardshark11 (10:06:56 PM): yes be on at 10am ill be aroundJcardshark11 signed off at 10:06:59 PM.Jcardshark11 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.THERE YA GO!!!!! HOW DID ALL OF YOUR DAYS GO!!!!!!!?????

NOW...IN FAIRNESS TO SHANNON....and I think he deserves to be let off the hook somewhat...I think maybe he jumped to conclusions based on THIS IM CHAT that HE HAD with JCARDPLAYER11.......which, if I had been in his shoes...may very well have reacted the SAME EXACT WAY...although first I would have contacted the other person first....via PHONE/EMAIL or even FACEBOOK to ask about it before throwing me under the bus on a very well-read Internet poker forum.

Re: Someone just hacked my AIM, Jcardshark11
The following conversation took place an hour ago. I was already aware of Jon's account being hacked. I was able to retrieve both of the "desired" account names, and I'm almost positive I'm sure who is behind it all (I'll reveal below). Maybe Admo (or anyone who's in touch with the folks at FTP or PS security) can, at the very least, get this guy banned from the sites.Jcardshark11 (9:54:39 PM): heyMe (9:55:03 PM): hollaJcardshark11 (9:55:05 PM): supMe (9:55:11 PM): not much just got back from gymJcardshark11 (9:55:18 PM): sickJcardshark11 (9:55:25 PM): are you on stars?Me (9:55:33 PM): not playin at the momentJcardshark11 (9:55:41 PM): im in london right nowJcardshark11 (9:55:49 PM): can you do me a huge favor ?Me (9:55:52 PM): thought you might beMe (9:55:53 PM): how is itJcardshark11 (9:55:55 PM): goodJcardshark11 (9:55:58 PM): a lot of people hereJcardshark11 (9:56:06 PM): won 2200 at 5/10 downstairsMe (9:56:15 PM): good workJcardshark11 (9:56:24 PM): do you have cash on ps?Me (9:56:45 PM): siJcardshark11 (9:57:21 PM): can you send $900 to T H E P O K R M N K Y Jcardshark11 (9:57:35 PM): I will return it in the morning I have to go back to this cash gameMe (9:57:43 PM): yea npMe (9:59:27 PM): jonMe (9:59:28 PM): is that ftpMe (9:59:29 PM): or starsJcardshark11 (9:59:33 PM): starsJcardshark11 (9:59:50 PM): if you want to send on ftp its thepokermonkeyJcardshark11 (10:01:00 PM): ttylMe (10:01:08 PM): later broJcardshark11 (10:01:15 PM): shady manMe (10:01:23 PM): huhJcardshark11 (10:01:33 PM): my boy said he didn't get itMe (10:01:41 PM): lol gimme 5 seconds sillyMe (10:01:43 PM): opening clientMe (10:01:50 PM): which you preferMe (10:01:53 PM): ftp or starsJcardshark11 (10:02:01 PM): let me ask himJcardshark11 (10:02:25 PM): ftpJcardshark11 (10:03:49 PM): ok thenMe (10:03:50 PM): k WillMe (10:03:52 PM): should be there any secJcardshark11 (10:04:09 PM): whereMe (10:04:29 PM): lolJcardshark11 (10:04:51 PM): smdMe (10:04:58 PM): WillMe (10:05:03 PM): aren't you too old for this?Me (10:06:47 PM): This could be a lot of trouble for you, I think.Jcardshark11 (10:06:53 PM): haha Jcardshark11 (10:06:55 PM): fake names ruleJcardshark11 (10:06:57 PM): smdJcardshark11 (10:06:57 PM): gtfoAn interesting aside is this website: http://pokermonkeytalk.blogspot.com/From the picture, I recognize this gentleman from occasional encounters on the tournament circuit over the last 2.5 years, and I even remembered that his name is Will Souther. I thought it would be interesting to see what kind of reaction calling him by name would elicit. I can only imagine how far his heart sank upon me calling him by name. This guy used to hit on my then-girlfriend in front of me, and I always considered him complete scum while doing my best to avoid him. Using his name, Jon and I were then able to link him directly (atleast through what he listed on P5s) to the account "thepokermonkey" on FTP that he gave me. That page can be found here: http://www.pocketfives.com/profiles/ThePokerMonkeyCase solved IMO. Hopefully this will somehow be useful. At the very least, I don't think Will's going to attempt to hack anymore AIM accounts.SS

So needless to say... will probably need to send this to POKERSTARS as well...wouldn't that be great? GET SCAMMED OUT OF $530 and then LOSE my ONLINE account AND have half the poker world thinking I am out there hacking another players' account? THIS IS SICK. First the MGM mess (which admittedly was my own fault, silly/stupid and hopefully about to be OVER, if everything goes the way I am being led to believe it will) now THIS! I don't know who I pissed off enough to make them pull THIS SHIT!

I am sitting there...while he is asking me to do this favor...and I'm like...."why would I do this? I haven't talked to this guy in a REAL conversation ever...and something about it feels fishy...but....damn....maybe it will bring me some good Karma to help someone out?" All I had to do was just WAIT until the money hit my account before I sent that money. I feel so STUPID! FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS DOWN THE TUBE!

Well, that is the exciting day that I have just had. I don't know how much steam this is going to gather in the next day or two...but I am getting ahead of the snowball. I have the saved IM chat...I have the Western Union receipt...and I have ....well, I guess that's all I have. I hope that is enough.

A 'SNAP MONKEY' FINAL TABLE 'SEE YA' TO TUNICA......

I had decided on another tag line for this entry, but I forgot what it was. This could be an incredibly long entry. I guess it all depends on how long this period of time where my head isn't pounding lasts.

Just when I was ready to call in Air Support for a complete carpet bomb strike on Tunica I did the improbable, well I don't know about improbable...considering I almost made the Final Table in 6 of the events I played up here in the last 10 days...and put together a run that FINALLY culminated in a Final Table for the Monkey last night in the $340 Horseshoe NL event that started with 94 players (their largest turnout so far in this disappointingly attended event) at 11am and ended for me around midnight.

This has been a very strange ten days. Every time I wanted to sit down and make an entry...I re-thought it because I knew I was going to just sit down at my laptop and start firing at anything and everything that had a pulse. I was afraid I was going to come off sounding WAY to negative. I'm just warning all of you....if you think you can read this whole entry in one sitting...I would get up NOW...walk to the kitchen, get a bag of doritos, a soda, maybe a popsicle or two (orange flavored if your like me) and mentally prepare yourself for a long session of walking in my shoes. Your feet are going to hurt after this.

Oh by the way....I just remembered what my original tag line was going to be for this entry.

Are there REALLY such things as FRIENDS when you are at the poker table?
More on what inspired that later.....

As for now, I am laying in a bed in a hotel i don't know the name of. In Southhaven. After finishing 5th last night...I found a $65 Sit N Go to sit down and laugh at until I managed to donate all my chips to some old lady...who would later come find me in the cash room and proudly display the 5 white chips she just won. Well done ma'am...your the greatest. Waltzing into the cash room I saw the ONLY guy at the Final Table who would drink...ahem....I have a new shot....I have named it the SNAP MONKEY! It is a Red Snapper with just a touch of Chambord added. It is really quite delicious!

Our Final Table consisted of a bunch of Old Guys, one recovering drunk and two guys with the personalities of a housefly. One guy..who says his name is Slim...and goes about 430....approached me on a break when we were at two tables and asks me "you busy? can I ask you a question?" Well sure, what is it little man?
"What is the deal with the antics, man? I'm not saying I don't like it...I just...I don't know, its just not how I act...so I guess I don't get it." Somewhere in all that I didn't detect a question. So I wasn't really sure how to respond or how to take it. I might have offered him a hot dog.

Oh anyway...I go sit down at the $4/$8 limit game..with every intention of dusting off a $100 or so and just have some fun. Well, what ended up happening was...well, quite miraculous. At 6am, after I could no longer keep my eyes open, and frankly, had no where else to put my chips...I got 6 chip racks...that's right...SIX...and started packing up. $745. Playing 4/8 on a $100 buy in. It was quite a run. I renamed every player at the table.

People I felt sorry for sucking out on, I was giving them half their money back. There was Tina Turner, Whitney Houston, Jenny Finch, The Science Guy, Christopher Darden....quite a celebrity-laden table. Darden was the ONE guy whose chips I never could manage to absorb. As soon as I got up...two guys were fighting over who got my seat. I told them as I was leaving...."Boys, it aint the plane man, its the pilot!"

I somehow managed to weasel myself a 2pm checkout time. I had this weird (weird? or OBVIOUS?) feeling that I would never wake up in time to make the $550 tourney today at 11am. Had I been sober enough and not so tired, I would have just driven home and surprised Squirrel...but that wasn't happening. I like to sleep naked. I have had housekeeping literally WALK IN...no knocking....on me TWICE already. I sometimes wonder if that is just a ploy. Hmmmm. Wow, Alabama is kicking Arkansas' ass.

This trip home is going to suck. I was a little more excited about playing today's $550 until I found out something very disturbing last night. I was under the impression that this last two weeks' events were ROUNDER point events. And as I kept bubbling and missing final tables I was getting more and more irritated. Then I hear how Cub paid everyone off down at the Beau Rivage when they did a 11-way chop at that last event before the Hurricane to let him sign for 1st place and take a huge chunk of points. That sucked.

I cant say I wouldn't have done the same thing! I already talked to him about it and told him I wanted to strangle him when I heard that! Well, then I found out that none of these events were on their Point Eligible lineup! SHIT! So I figured with what I won yesterday (not that much...but finally SOMETHING) in the tourney and then in the cash game...that I would just take something home with me. Besides, I was getting more and more irritated the longer I was there.

Here come some Props. Jimmy Summerfeld, who I have had run ins with in the past...and I know keeps one eye on the tourney and one eye on "The Monkey" and my potential for disaster...ran a very good two weeks of tourneys. The structure was outstanding. They set up a very nice "players" buffet area that was open for two hours during the tourney dinner break. A nice touch. They were very nice about distributing comps.

And while its not certain to me how much of a rarity or commonality it is, he even helped me to get a large portion of my hotel stay comped. That was very cool, because for a week and a half I was getting slaughtered up here...so at that point...ANYTHING to defray the costs was GREAT! Bill Bruce, a young guy who always is dressed very nice...did a great job running the evening tourneys. He has a great voice on the mic and is a good presence. He was called on to make a lot of floor calls, and I can honestly say I don't think he screwed ONE of them up.

{my favorite floor call came during this last event. It was great theater. An old skinny guy, who could very EASILY be seen on CNN one day going in and killing all his co-workers...had done the unimaginable, TWICE! Rewind back to the event three days ago, when I went out 14th....he was in the 1 seat, I was in the 8 seat. There was a call of 600, another call...I called with KJ suited...and on the button, he makes his patented squeeze all in move. Everyone else folded...and I called bullshit and made a loose call. He had KQ. OOOpppss! well the board double paired and I lucked out a chop. He went NUTS!

Pounding his fist and mumbling for about half an hour until he got busted. When he was leaving he was glaring at me. Well so he is now at my table in this last event. We are down to 2 tables. He is back to his old Shenanigans. Between Slim on the button and Pyscho boy in the SB...they were SHIPPIN it EVERY single time it folded around to them. I was getting fed up. Finally he moves on me again...and I just look at him...and I KNOW he is stealing. I have total SHIT...K-5 offsuit. And I start talking to him and HE IMMEDIATELY demands that the clock be called on me. WTF?

So Bill is summoned to the table, is told that its only been a minute or so, and tells the guy..."sir,3 minutes is a reasonable amount of time to elapse before a floor assesses a time clock on a player...so I am going to wait a minute and then give him a minute to act" Good ruling I thought. Well, he starts fuming. And I tell him "I know why you called floor, because your hand SUCKS! and you are trying to pressure me into folding!" Well, I tell the table..."Table, please...if I call here do not let this be an indicator of how bad I play...because my hand SUCKS...and if I call, its only so I can bust this joker!" SO I call. he turns over A6 off. Hmmm...whatever. Give me a K or 5 please. NOPE. I lose, I double up the clown. And now I go from 54k to 37K. Dammit. That was stupid.

TWO HANDS LATER! Jackass raises....11K....UTG and leaves 17K behind. I look down at 88. Hmmmm. I start thinking. Looking and asking for a count on the rest of his stack. And BOOM, once again...he calls floor for the clock. Now the Dealer defends me...telling Bill he LOOKED at the clock, KNOWING the guy was going to call clock again...and it had been 45 seconds! SO Bill point blank TOLD THE GUY he wasn't going to put me on the clock until 2 minutes had elapsed. That was when I said..."you know what...don't bother.....IM ALL IN!"

It folded around to him and he calls...turning over AK. Yikes. Please do not lose this one! Or I am looking at probably another damn bubble up here. NOTHING ON THE FLOP! NOTHING ON THE TURN....and I call for the 3 of hearts on the river. THREE OF HEARTS ON THE RIVER!!!!!!! SICCCCKKKK!!!! And I did a rare celebratory dance/howl/fist pump combo! He leaps out of his seat and gets in Bruce's face, threatening every kind of retaliatory effort he can come up with. Bill Bruce handled it PERFECT. A great moment! Especially since an A or K didn't hit!!!!! }

Which is rare. In general, the staff was great. I had a on-going war with one guy...SHUNN...who I promised I was going to write about here! I kept calling him names like "The Warden" "the Gestapo" "The Text Nazi" and "Captain BuzzKill." But then last night we found some middle ground! He was a dealer who they gave a shot at working the floor. And the way I saw it, he was just trying really hard to do everything right. Enforcing (in an overboard fashion) the NO PHONE/NO TEXTING rule, keeping everyone and ANYONE away from the table...just, you know, all those chippy rules that usually come with a little discretionary value.

I might have been a little hard on him. He was a nice guy though, and I think that the next time we encounter each other we will both be a little more pleasant towards each other! At least...that BETTER be how it goes....ya hear me Shunn!??? Dale Camby is awesome. Not exactly sure what his position up there is...Poker Room supervisor? Tournament Supervisor? Not sure. He is an older guy, and is just cool as hell. When I had a problem with dealers...which unfortunately we had several times during the week...he was very open to hearing about it. When I needed help getting a room, he was there to help. Always had comps when I needed a comp. Liked to sit and talk about poker...just a really cool guy.

Had a couple major issues with dealers. The worst...happened last night, at the FINAL TABLE. That should NEVER happen! I don't mind calling this guy out, mainly because, according to other players and dealers...he was displaying the same attitude/behavior towards them, too. We are down to 6...and its all guys. Me and a couple other guys are making random comments about people walking by, ladies mostly.

There had been NO warnings, no indication of any kind that language had been abused at any time yet. Suddenly, some lady walks by...she was pretty attractive. This old guy in the 10 seat says..."Monkey did you see that lady!?" And I remark...yeah, of course, you think my eyes are broken!?? Then Shunn was standing in front of the 5 seat and waved for him to move back...he did...and I say..."yeah and her ass is as nice as her face!" {Squirrel, if you're reading this...I apologize, its just things that we dirtbag guys do when we are away from our ladies....it means nothing!}

Well, this prompted the dealer...DAVID...tall, dark hair, circuit dealer....to remark "That's about enough of the language buddy." yeah he called me BUDDY! He knows me, and knows me quite well! Of course I defended myself. Language? Ass? Are you kidding me man? What is your deal? Why don't you worry about dealing and let the floor worry if they think there is an abuse of language. He implied that I was abusing someone with it. I was like..."Dude, we are complimenting that lady on her ass!!!!" Then he goes on to tell me that I need to learn some manners! I was ready to kill this guy, but I wasn't going to do anything to get me put in a penalty at the Final Table. Manners?

First, let me say...the lady was 30 yards away, and had NO IDEA we were talking about her. So who exactly was offended I'm not sure...except maybe HIM! At any rate...it turns out that later, Shunn said something about his behavior to one of the Tournament Supervisors, who then said something to him. He pushed from our table and a few minutes later we went on break. I was walking away from the table and did a quick 180 turn to go to the bathroom and BOOM he was right behind me...and as soon as I was there he doesn't move, instead bowing up...almost like he was challenging me to a fight or something. It was really retarded. I just gave him a smirk and continued to the bathroom.

I go into the bathroom and as I am telling everyone what just happened at the table, I had TWO other players tell me he heard him tell another player a table earlier that "someone needs to snap your neck!" WTF? This from a dealer!??? I think there is something else going on in this dudes life that has just turned him WRONG. I come back from the bathroom and he is sitting at an empty table...and just GLARING at me. Dude was freaking me out.

My Final Table experience sucked. I arrived with the 2nd smallest stack. I sat around and didn't do anything while 2 got whacked. Then I pick up 99...the best hand I would get at the final table. I call a raise...and with 4 players in the pot...flop 2-4-6. I move all in and they fold. From that point on I would go completely card dead. And basically be blinded out in 5th place. It wasn't until halfway through that I realized I had forgotten to put on my Final Table Monkey Beads and to bring out my fancy Swarovski Crystal Final Table Monkey...so by the time I did, it was too late.

I hated that whole final table experience...and mainly it was because of that asshole dealer. My day started very irritatingly. I got there late, as I almost ALWAYS do. They had 8 full tables and sent me to a table where I was the only there. I would remain the only one there...for an entire blind level. I was getting extremely pissed. They were playing 10 handed. I thought they could have very easily pulled the 10 seat from all 8 tables and make a full table and everyone else 9 handed. But for some reason they wouldn't. Then there was an open seat...not being played. I felt they could have sat me THERE, put THOSE chips on my empty table...with that persons seat card...and when he finally DID arrive, they could have re-seated him. But they wouldn't do THAT either...so when I finally got moved into a vacated seat...the freaking blinds were 100/200.

Jo would arrive with me sitting on the same 8k I started with...really needing a double up. I announced to everyone "Here comes Jo...my lucky dealer...about to give me my courtesy double up!" First hand....AK UTG. Raise....everyone folds. Nice. In the BB next hand....Mr Aggressive raises in middle position. Two callers. I look at AQd. I decide NOT to re-raise. Flop comes 5c-Qh-7c. I have decided to bet 2500 into a 2400 pot. Dude does his famous squint look....and I tell him...I'm not folding! He finally moves all in. Other two guys fold. I say to him..."Ya think you're gonna hit your flush draw? I call...and hope you don't" To which he says..."I'm on a draw" Yeah no kidding...I just told you that!

He turns over A5c.....oh please Jo...don't do it. She didn't. He bricks out...and I have my double up. Later I would have KK hold up against a guy shoving a large stack with JJ. I would have AA twice and have it hold up both times. I never had to get lucky or suck out all day. Which is weird. I did have to lay down a couple hands I regretted. Wow...its 1:45pm. I have to get up, take a shower...and get the hell out of here....I will go ahead and send this to Bill...and promise when I get home later tonight to write more.

Its been a very eventful trip and there is a lot to write about. While I was up here we lost our longtime companion...Tuesday. She was 9 years old, a goofy looking dog, part Doberman, part...not sure, think maybe Deer....who was just the sweetest dog you could ever want. She spent her life beset by malady's...the most recent, Diabetes, which in a way was good because it got me over my lifelong fear of needles, having to give her two shots a day...but of course it was terrible and eventually fatal for her.

She was Cheryl's best friend, and I felt horrible being up here while Cheryl was having to wrestle with the reality that Tuesday just couldn't take any more suffering, and when she took her in on Tuesday, September 16th, it would be the same day to the year when in 2001 I had put down Tuesdays first buddy, my ORIGINAL Jasper...who had cancer. The new Jasper is very co-dependent, never left Tuesday's side, and since she passed away he has spent every second following Cheryl around, sleeping in bed with her...never leaving the bed.

He is famous for predictably spending no more than 5 minutes in the bed before retreating to the cold floor. So to lay up there for 12 hours is amazing, and sad. I need to get home and find him a new buddy. And comfort Squirrel, as she is really feeling distraught at the loss of her best friend. I hate losing dogs...they are so sweet, and so loyal. I really think I like dogs more than people. I think when I die I might ask God to let me come back as a dog...

Tunica 1

Well, the trip did not start so hot!
Arrived in Tunica at around 3:15am...had to stick around the house and watch football all day! Get here, and the lady at the front desk tells me "We are in the middle of nightly audit and I cant get you into your room for 10 minutes or so."
WTF!!!!???
What a joke. So I sit in the lobby on my laptop....for 45 minutes...finish winning a $5.50/45pp sng....HUGE WIN BABY! Ship that $67! And getting eating alive, that's right...INSIDE THE HOTEL LOBBY...by mosquitoes! YEP! And finally she gets her act together and gets me into my room....which I discover is CLEARLY a smoking room. LOVELY. I get to sleep at 5am.

I wake up at 11:35am. Dammit, only 25 minutes to get across the street to the tourney. I don't shower...and run over there, to find that it started at 11am!!! WHAT!??? Lord...well, even though it was past the deadline, they let me go in as an alternate. I was very impressed when I saw the structure. 8000 starting chips with 40 minute levels....and a good blind structure. Cool. So I really wasn't missing anything in my stack.

What knocked me off my feet was that there a grand total of EIGHT tables! 77 players. GOOD GAWD! Oh and they moved the poker room downstairs. Not sure if I dig it or not. Since it switched from THE GRAND to HARRAHS TUNICA...they did a lot of cosmetic work in there...its more attractive I think. LB STEAKHOUSE is now 37. Its cool looking. I want to win some money so I can go eat a KOBE steak in there!

Well, as I look around I see a lot of players I know. There is CUB, there is BJ from Baton Rouge...theres Gabe...oh and I get put on a table with THE CLAW...Claudia my house buddy from Las Vegas and new 'Big Deuce' buddy! I lot of other guys I know well, I would say each table had 5 solid players, 3 total donks, and 2 complete unknowns. Well, after winning the first three hands I played...I would run into SUPERDONK...and he would end my day. Holding As10c I raise from 200 to 650 in middle position. SuperDonk calls me on the button with 10s8s...what me, JD and Charlie (Smoke, from Baton Rouge) call "the Smokey Special." I would get dusted by the Ol smokey special...as the flop came all spades little. I checked, he checked. 4 of clubs on the turn. I bet. He raised. I made the big over the top all in. He calls...of course...and I brick the river. SHIT! Day over. I really didn't need to go there..it was really a little overaggressive. I just thought this clown was putting me on AK AQ, didn't think I had any of that flop....and that I could get him to fold by moving in on him. Would of helped a bunch if the little dealer Latania would have slid me a spade on the river! But, no-no!

So I go sit down and play a $65 sit and go. We get down to 4 handed and the blinds are 500-1000! They go up and the dealer doesn't have a higher level on his sheet! They double! To 1000-2000. We started with only 1500 chips. It was a joke. One guy proposed a four way chop. After all, it was now a total crapshoot, and we had $180 in the last longer ($20 times 8 players) so it wouldn't have been TERRIBLE to chop. Well chipleader refuses. I move in with k10 on the button and get two callers. 44. and A5. i hit the K on the river. One guy leaves, and chipleader is now shortstack. A couple hands later it was over. Thanks Boys...ship it to the Monkey.

I go check on Gabe. Claudia has been whacked. Gabe has chips. Cub doubles up with QQ against BJ's AJspades in the BB...a big all in by Cub...kind of a loose call by BJ...but I have seen him make this play a lot. He's a solid player, I cant really criticize him...I just think he gambles a little more than I do. Anyway...long story short...I go to play the 6pm $340 limit tourney...that only ends up having 28 players. Good gawd. So its paying 5! But I'm thinking about making a final table and getting some Rounder Points! Before we start Gabe walks by and informs me that he just went out 10th....on the BUBBLE! Oh hells bells Gabe. The day before he was down to 2 tables....had a lot of chips then too, when disaster struck and he missed the money. I hate that. I didn't see Cub at the Final Table either. So his chips went SOMEwhere.......

I start bad in the Limit Tourney. Cant ever get top flopped pair to hold Cant ever hit a draw.Lose with a set in a four way pot. Its just going bad. But I stay smart, and tighten up around 50/100. Start picking off pots when we go to 200/400. I end up making the final table and am getting close to an average stack. Then...with 6 left...I raise this lady with QJ clubs at the cutoff....from 400/800 to 1600. She makes it 2000. Well, I call. Flop comes J-J-10. WHOAAAAAAAA...nice! Right?

Sure, if you had J-10. She bets. I call. Turn 5. She bets. I raise now. She re raises. Huh? Don't tell me! I just call. River is a blank. She bets again. Her bet is all but 200 of my stack. So I move in for the rest. She rolls over AJ. Son.....of.....a.....bitch! And like Gabe...I go out on the BUBBLE as well! Dammit.

Well, all tourney I had been slamming Red Snappers with Russ Bozeman from Alabama, my good buddy who I final tabled with in New Orleans. Him and I decide, against better judgement...to sit down and play some cash game. We played til 6am..which made me totally useless enough that I sat out today's tourney at 11am. I will just say that my cash session at one time was going very well. It ended...um.....not so good. I had one of those clowns at the table that I just COULDNT ever beat. He would NEVER let go of a hand. EVER. And I could never get him into a pot when I actually HAD the nuts. The nastiest hand against this bozo went like this. Unraised pot...I have A2 c. I call. He raises 12....which means nothing...he is now up to about 1500 chips (in a $1-$3 game) and raising all the time. Flop comes 2-2-5...with two clubs! Not a bad flop. I check. He bets 40. Someone else calls. I raise to 120. He thinks for awhile....and calls. Other guys folds. Turn is a 4, non club. So now I have a straight draw to go with my flush draw, and boat draw. How can I lose this hand? I decide, this guy always hits WHATEVER he needs, I might as well just shove for $244 here! So I do. He tanks. I tell him....TELL HIM...dude, I know you have like KK or QQ....your over pair is no good ....but go ahead and call, you ALWAYS call. He does, he calls. With his "oh well, ah shucks" standard reply.....turns over his...SHOCKER...>QQ.......and on the river.....what does the dealer do? Delivers his stupid ass a QUEEN! I just sit there in total astonishment. Russ is like...."did you have 55?" NO.....I had A2c. "No way!" Yes....yes I did. I wanted to put a gun in my mouth. But instead I rebought....again. It was not a good night. But at least I finally got some sleep and got all caught up on my pools and fantasy leagues. This weekend was a total shitfest for 35% of all the players in the Survivor Pools...and I have a one time rebuy for the first 6 weeks...so spent all day reviving everyone and collecting their rebuy money!

Their is a $240 Pot Limit Omaha Hi/Lo tourney that starts in an hour that I am thinking about playing. If I don't play that...I will try to find a SNG to play. But the SNGs are only going off about ONE an HOUR! Its terrible. Bad fields, understaffed with dealers....so even when a lot of players show up...they don't have tables....they were literally taking alternates every day...while there were about 15-20 open tables, and dealers walking around! I don't get it. I honestly would love to have a casino approach me about being their tourney director. I really think I could be one of the best. Maybe not, maybe I just THINK I could...but holy cow...its not that tough a task to put on a good tournament. Its not rocket science. I think there is a good chance I may be blowing out of here early. We'll see. In the meantime....ya'all take care....Hope Ike misses everyone....sounds like its heading towards SW TEXAS...guess that's the best-case scenario...not as populated over there I don't think. More updates later!!!

MONKEY

...off we go to Tunica.

....off we go to Tunica.

Not sure if the NUCLEAR MOSQUITOES will be the big problem or maybe the LOVE BUGS. Those things are a nightmare....you take a 5 hour road trip and when you get there the white 4 Runner you drive looks like its wearing one of those 'sport bra' things that every dork with a pony tail had on his Fiero in the '80s.

Its been awhile in between entries. Glad we all survived Hurricane Gustav without much damage. To those of you in Louisiana without power, sewage and most importantly...CABLE and INTERNET....I feel your pain, even if the news media forgets about a storm and turns their attention to this damn election...as long as a bunch of people don't die. Hey, I know you guys are out there, and I am wishing you well, and hope you get everything back to normal soon.

And on that note...lets hope (and pray) to God that this Hurricane Ike stays the hell away. Mainly, because if it comes here...I am going to be required by Squirrel to drop whatever I have got going on up in Tunica and drive back down here to play Captain Hurricane. Well, I am ready if it does come. 40 gallons of gas in my garage...a generator that I spent $100 to get tuned up down the street. Bunch of fans for inside the house, a portable microwave...and for three hours last night I assembled the Gas Grill that I bought at Home Depot last week. Two ways of looking at this. You either buy the floor model...which is always scratched up...or you get one from the box and test your patience and common sense. Option 2 is seriously discouraged. However, there is that great sense of accomplishment once you finally finish it, and light it up and cook your first steak!

I am sitting here on the couch watching the opening games of the NFL season. Brett Favre has tossed his first TD for the Jets...a 56 yard bomb...followed by a 4th and forever 'who wants this ball' TD heave. Interesting to see what happens with that team. The NCAA season has already been exciting and full of upsets. My pools got a record number of entries in all 4 pools...I'm in 4 fantasy leagues....I am IN THE GAME! Still can't believe no one has signed Shaun Alexander. My brother and his 3rd? 4th? wife...cant keep track anymore...are giving birth today to his 4th kid. I am still on NEVER MARRIED and NO KIDS. Hmmm....not sure if I am proud of that or ashamed. Well, me and Xbox360 have been having fun. I got through the entire CALL OF DUTY game...yes, saved the world again...then got through all of FRONTLINE...not sure which game I liked better...they are both pretty kickass. Did you know you can use Xbox360 to watch DVD movies? I didn't. Now I do. I am thinking about taking my Xbox360 to bed with me...that's how much I love it.

Poker? Oh is this a poker website? Yeah Yeah....I've been playing online a bit. Got my balance down to like 10 bucks...was about to go to Western Union and BLING...get an instant message from a guy (name withheld...JUST IN CASE!) who I made a final table with in March at the Beau who was commenting about everything that was going on. He has a friend who works on the Gaming Commission and he offered to put in a good word for me. But he wanted to make sure I was okay with it. OKAY WITH IT? Of course I was okay with it. So later he had a conversation with the guy...and I can only hope that something good comes of it. I haven't heard anything from the Beau Rivage yet...which I don't think is surprising. On top of dealing with Gustav, they now have to deal with Ike. I am hoping that by the end of the month I will have won a shit load of money and made about 5 final tables up in Tunica...and it wont be such a big deal. I was thinking about going to Borgata for that event...but then I find out they have some weird affiliation with MGM. They are a JOINT VENTURE between BOYD GAMING and MGM...so I didn't know what that meant if I were to show up there. Do I get booted...or worse arrested? Or ignored? Didn't even want to mess with it. I am not going to DO ANYTHING to make this mess worse. I trust that the Beau Rivage will be honorable with me, that what Warren Mason told me is legitimate, that as long as the Commission clears them and me...I will be allowed to come back and have my TRESPASS designation lifted. I'm playing it cool. In October I am going to Seattle to help my Mother move into her new house, and then in November I will be in Las Vegas at the Venetian for their DeepStack event so really, so I've got a couple months to not care too much about what happens there. I mean, I CARE...I'm just not freaking out about it. It is all a process.

Oh...anyway...so in talking to this guy...I mentioned I was about to hit Western Union and he offered to shoot me $500. Wow. Well, I hate borrowing money from people...really HATE it...but I had $1500 in my wallet...and assured him I would meet him ANYTIME...he didn't seem to care at all. Well, my plan was to run that to around $800 and ship it right back to him. Plan didn't go very smooth...as I got down to about $120. Then...I entered a $12 180 person turbo tourney. Squeaked into the money...then went on a tear! My one big hand that kick started me was a beaut! In the BB with $3200 and the blinds 500/1000...a guy raises me, of course...but then the SB goes over the top all in for 12K. I am looking at 7d9d and I decide "hey I have live cards for sure, and I LOVE the price I am getting to call and I hope this other clown folds." He doesn't. He calls. One guy has 10-10 the other has Q-Q. They BOTH flop a set! NICE! But....two diamonds hit. TURN card...DIAMOND! DONT PAIR THE BOARD DONT PAIR THE BOARD!!!! IT bricks and I chip up to 15K!!! That catapulted me to a run that ended in me winning 1st for $594! NICE! I immediately shipped $525 back to my buddy who loaned me the $500. Sweet. During the week, it was another run of CLOSE but NO CIGAR deals. I got inside of 45 in the $33 MTT, the $11 MTT, the $27 MTT, the $16.50 MTT....but always ran into bad luck and/or horrible play by my opponent and couldn't make a final table, which as we all know...is the ONLY way you ever make any money in those things.

I don't know if I am supposed to feel good when I finish 31st out of 3,225 players or not. You win like $20 and yet you beat over 3200 players and played for over 6 hours. It gets very frustrating. And then you end up losing with hands like....holding KK...guy raises UTG, and you RE RAISE 75% of your stack only to have the guy go over the top with A6...and of course hit the Ace....what do these people think about when they make those plays? It is just SO bad online...the play, it makes you wonder what is going on at the other side of that computer. I had a guy yesterday that was hitting EVERYTHING he was playing. It was the $3 rebuy...and first was $5400. We were in the money and getting deeper. I had just got moved to this clowns table and was watching him play hands AGAINST big early raises with shit like 8-10, 4-6, 2-9...and hitting EVERY TIME! So when he limped in....got two more limpers...and I looked down at AA in the BB....even though I had a lot of chips at that point...there was almost 5500 in a pot when the blinds were 200/400....I typed in there...."well if MR CALLING STATION wasn't in this hand...I would just raise to 3000....but I will shove here with THE BEST HAND IN POKER" and move in. HE CALLS...the others fold. He turns over 9-10 offsuit. He makes a full house. I am out.

And you tell me there isn't cheating online? Sure. Right. I know. Why would he be cheating (using software) in a $3 rebuy? Why?.....exactly!!!....because in a $3 rebuy he is off the radar...no one would suspect it. But he is playing for $5400. Play in those $5, $10, $15, $20 tourneys...where no one is paying attention really...with over 2000 players in each tourney...and yea...you can make some serious jack. I don't know if this fool WAS cheating...but to see how his hands were playing out...look, I AM NOT A RETARD. Even if getting myself 86'ed from Beau Rivage would indicate otherwise.

So I wasn't about to dump a lot of money into these WCOOP events. NO WAY. I just DO NOT TRUST online poker enough to put any considerable amounts of money into an event. I will play if I satellite in, and only then.

So I tried that...and it didn't go so well. Tried those STEPS. UGH....THOSE STEPS. During the leadup to the WSOP I must have invested close to $800 in those damn things trying to win a seat. I actually write down EVERYTING I play in a book, so I could find the number. Trust me, its alarming. During WSOP I got as far as STEP 5 and never could get further. Well, I played STEP 1 for WCOOP about 10 times. I won twice. I finished 3rd....FIVE times! Which means you get to GO AGAIN for free. Great. Never got to STEP 3. Very frustrating.

I sit there online...and its like a rollercoaster...up, down, up, down...watch bad play...throw shit across the house. Take one bad beat after another. You start to really go crazy. So I decided, you know what? I need to be around my people, I need the personal interaction. I need to play live. I need to see those damn cards come OUT OF THE HAND OF A HUMAN BEING! I need to know that this game is CLEAN...that there isn't cheating going on by some assclown computer whiz. So I called and made a reservation for the Terrace at Harrah's in Tunica.

So I will sit here...watch some more football, monitor all my pools and fantasy teams...then pack up the car and head north! Hope you all are having a great weekend. And again...if Hurricane Ike makes it's way to our area...please, please, please...be safe and smart!!!! Look forward to seeing some of you in Tunica. And I hope to make some final tables up there and bring some joy back to Biloxi. Take care!

MONKEY