...off we go to Tunica.

....off we go to Tunica.

Not sure if the NUCLEAR MOSQUITOES will be the big problem or maybe the LOVE BUGS. Those things are a nightmare....you take a 5 hour road trip and when you get there the white 4 Runner you drive looks like its wearing one of those 'sport bra' things that every dork with a pony tail had on his Fiero in the '80s.

Its been awhile in between entries. Glad we all survived Hurricane Gustav without much damage. To those of you in Louisiana without power, sewage and most importantly...CABLE and INTERNET....I feel your pain, even if the news media forgets about a storm and turns their attention to this damn election...as long as a bunch of people don't die. Hey, I know you guys are out there, and I am wishing you well, and hope you get everything back to normal soon.

And on that note...lets hope (and pray) to God that this Hurricane Ike stays the hell away. Mainly, because if it comes here...I am going to be required by Squirrel to drop whatever I have got going on up in Tunica and drive back down here to play Captain Hurricane. Well, I am ready if it does come. 40 gallons of gas in my garage...a generator that I spent $100 to get tuned up down the street. Bunch of fans for inside the house, a portable microwave...and for three hours last night I assembled the Gas Grill that I bought at Home Depot last week. Two ways of looking at this. You either buy the floor model...which is always scratched up...or you get one from the box and test your patience and common sense. Option 2 is seriously discouraged. However, there is that great sense of accomplishment once you finally finish it, and light it up and cook your first steak!

I am sitting here on the couch watching the opening games of the NFL season. Brett Favre has tossed his first TD for the Jets...a 56 yard bomb...followed by a 4th and forever 'who wants this ball' TD heave. Interesting to see what happens with that team. The NCAA season has already been exciting and full of upsets. My pools got a record number of entries in all 4 pools...I'm in 4 fantasy leagues....I am IN THE GAME! Still can't believe no one has signed Shaun Alexander. My brother and his 3rd? 4th? wife...cant keep track anymore...are giving birth today to his 4th kid. I am still on NEVER MARRIED and NO KIDS. Hmmm....not sure if I am proud of that or ashamed. Well, me and Xbox360 have been having fun. I got through the entire CALL OF DUTY game...yes, saved the world again...then got through all of FRONTLINE...not sure which game I liked better...they are both pretty kickass. Did you know you can use Xbox360 to watch DVD movies? I didn't. Now I do. I am thinking about taking my Xbox360 to bed with me...that's how much I love it.

Poker? Oh is this a poker website? Yeah Yeah....I've been playing online a bit. Got my balance down to like 10 bucks...was about to go to Western Union and BLING...get an instant message from a guy (name withheld...JUST IN CASE!) who I made a final table with in March at the Beau who was commenting about everything that was going on. He has a friend who works on the Gaming Commission and he offered to put in a good word for me. But he wanted to make sure I was okay with it. OKAY WITH IT? Of course I was okay with it. So later he had a conversation with the guy...and I can only hope that something good comes of it. I haven't heard anything from the Beau Rivage yet...which I don't think is surprising. On top of dealing with Gustav, they now have to deal with Ike. I am hoping that by the end of the month I will have won a shit load of money and made about 5 final tables up in Tunica...and it wont be such a big deal. I was thinking about going to Borgata for that event...but then I find out they have some weird affiliation with MGM. They are a JOINT VENTURE between BOYD GAMING and MGM...so I didn't know what that meant if I were to show up there. Do I get booted...or worse arrested? Or ignored? Didn't even want to mess with it. I am not going to DO ANYTHING to make this mess worse. I trust that the Beau Rivage will be honorable with me, that what Warren Mason told me is legitimate, that as long as the Commission clears them and me...I will be allowed to come back and have my TRESPASS designation lifted. I'm playing it cool. In October I am going to Seattle to help my Mother move into her new house, and then in November I will be in Las Vegas at the Venetian for their DeepStack event so really, so I've got a couple months to not care too much about what happens there. I mean, I CARE...I'm just not freaking out about it. It is all a process.

Oh...anyway...so in talking to this guy...I mentioned I was about to hit Western Union and he offered to shoot me $500. Wow. Well, I hate borrowing money from people...really HATE it...but I had $1500 in my wallet...and assured him I would meet him ANYTIME...he didn't seem to care at all. Well, my plan was to run that to around $800 and ship it right back to him. Plan didn't go very smooth...as I got down to about $120. Then...I entered a $12 180 person turbo tourney. Squeaked into the money...then went on a tear! My one big hand that kick started me was a beaut! In the BB with $3200 and the blinds 500/1000...a guy raises me, of course...but then the SB goes over the top all in for 12K. I am looking at 7d9d and I decide "hey I have live cards for sure, and I LOVE the price I am getting to call and I hope this other clown folds." He doesn't. He calls. One guy has 10-10 the other has Q-Q. They BOTH flop a set! NICE! But....two diamonds hit. TURN card...DIAMOND! DONT PAIR THE BOARD DONT PAIR THE BOARD!!!! IT bricks and I chip up to 15K!!! That catapulted me to a run that ended in me winning 1st for $594! NICE! I immediately shipped $525 back to my buddy who loaned me the $500. Sweet. During the week, it was another run of CLOSE but NO CIGAR deals. I got inside of 45 in the $33 MTT, the $11 MTT, the $27 MTT, the $16.50 MTT....but always ran into bad luck and/or horrible play by my opponent and couldn't make a final table, which as we all know...is the ONLY way you ever make any money in those things.

I don't know if I am supposed to feel good when I finish 31st out of 3,225 players or not. You win like $20 and yet you beat over 3200 players and played for over 6 hours. It gets very frustrating. And then you end up losing with hands like....holding KK...guy raises UTG, and you RE RAISE 75% of your stack only to have the guy go over the top with A6...and of course hit the Ace....what do these people think about when they make those plays? It is just SO bad online...the play, it makes you wonder what is going on at the other side of that computer. I had a guy yesterday that was hitting EVERYTHING he was playing. It was the $3 rebuy...and first was $5400. We were in the money and getting deeper. I had just got moved to this clowns table and was watching him play hands AGAINST big early raises with shit like 8-10, 4-6, 2-9...and hitting EVERY TIME! So when he limped in....got two more limpers...and I looked down at AA in the BB....even though I had a lot of chips at that point...there was almost 5500 in a pot when the blinds were 200/400....I typed in there...."well if MR CALLING STATION wasn't in this hand...I would just raise to 3000....but I will shove here with THE BEST HAND IN POKER" and move in. HE CALLS...the others fold. He turns over 9-10 offsuit. He makes a full house. I am out.

And you tell me there isn't cheating online? Sure. Right. I know. Why would he be cheating (using software) in a $3 rebuy? Why?.....exactly!!!....because in a $3 rebuy he is off the radar...no one would suspect it. But he is playing for $5400. Play in those $5, $10, $15, $20 tourneys...where no one is paying attention really...with over 2000 players in each tourney...and yea...you can make some serious jack. I don't know if this fool WAS cheating...but to see how his hands were playing out...look, I AM NOT A RETARD. Even if getting myself 86'ed from Beau Rivage would indicate otherwise.

So I wasn't about to dump a lot of money into these WCOOP events. NO WAY. I just DO NOT TRUST online poker enough to put any considerable amounts of money into an event. I will play if I satellite in, and only then.

So I tried that...and it didn't go so well. Tried those STEPS. UGH....THOSE STEPS. During the leadup to the WSOP I must have invested close to $800 in those damn things trying to win a seat. I actually write down EVERYTING I play in a book, so I could find the number. Trust me, its alarming. During WSOP I got as far as STEP 5 and never could get further. Well, I played STEP 1 for WCOOP about 10 times. I won twice. I finished 3rd....FIVE times! Which means you get to GO AGAIN for free. Great. Never got to STEP 3. Very frustrating.

I sit there online...and its like a rollercoaster...up, down, up, down...watch bad play...throw shit across the house. Take one bad beat after another. You start to really go crazy. So I decided, you know what? I need to be around my people, I need the personal interaction. I need to play live. I need to see those damn cards come OUT OF THE HAND OF A HUMAN BEING! I need to know that this game is CLEAN...that there isn't cheating going on by some assclown computer whiz. So I called and made a reservation for the Terrace at Harrah's in Tunica.

So I will sit here...watch some more football, monitor all my pools and fantasy teams...then pack up the car and head north! Hope you all are having a great weekend. And again...if Hurricane Ike makes it's way to our area...please, please, please...be safe and smart!!!! Look forward to seeing some of you in Tunica. And I hope to make some final tables up there and bring some joy back to Biloxi. Take care!

MONKEY