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Monday, June 13, 2011

1/3rd of the way through Summer.....

I finally hit paydirt last night. No...it was not a WSOP event. Patience grasshoppers. Patience.

It was merely a nightly at the Venetian...and I managed to 'fade' 157 of natures scariest beasts to finish 2nd. Did I play marvelously? No. I got a guy to shove 22k back in my face when I raised 3500 with AA....used those chips to get deep....had QQ hold against AK and ended up at the Final Table...where I watched a lot of shortstacks lose...got heads up with an 8-1 deficit against an old guy who kept getting AA/KK and AK the whole time...and lost on the third hand when he flopped a full house on me. 

Earlier in the day...after busting the noon tourney...I won a SNG finally. With 3 left...it looked like I was about to get screwed again. Shorty was all in against tallee and rivered his card. Uh oh. Then he rivered me a little bit later. 

Here we go again....

But alas...it did NOT happen...and I had a nice little $675 pop that I really needed. In the next SNG...I once again get three-handed. And I have 8600 chips. This lady has 8200 chips. And the other guy has only 3200 at 400/800. So when she raised on the button...and I looked at JJ in the SB...I kind of shit the bed.

"All In!" Shortstack giggles and folds as the lady snap calls and turns over KK. Son of a ....

I did NOT improve. Was left with half a big blind...and was virtually dead. But I triple up on the next hand. Giggly starts getting nervous. Next hand...77. Nice. All in again. They check it down...the lady has J2. Rivers a Jack. Fuck! That would have been huge...two back to back SNG wins...then a 2nd in the nightly for $1850? It was my own damn fault though...I screwed up.

The fields not only at Venetian...but at WSOP as well...have been massive. Rio was really smart to sneak in that tourney at 2pm. Their numbers on that have been incredible. The one that I managed to Final Table in the first week I was here only had 124 players...but lately they are getting 700-800 every turnout. Its a great tourney until Level 10'ish...then it just falls off a cliff. Hate that. Especially because there are so many horrendous players in it. But then once you get deep, and the chip average is between 8-12 BB's...its just a coin flipping contest. And I hate that. There is nothing more fun in poker than making a final table and have everyone playing 20 BB's or more deep. You can actually 'play' poker.

Tim Mix text messaged me three days ago that 'effectively immediately the ban on iPads is rescinded.'  That was awesome news.

Had a dealer in today's tourney...who when I was on my iPhone (I had yet to pull the iPad out to start playing Words With Friends!) reading other guys' blogs on www.gulfcoastpoker.net he snaps at me:

"There is no texting allowed when you're in a hand!!!!"

Okay. Some of you know me pretty well. Some of you know the 'old Monkey' and some of you have been fortunate enough to meet the 'new Monkey.'

Possible Old Monkey responses:

"Hey Dealer! I'm not TEXTING! And I know the RULES! Why don't you spend more time trying to do your job well and quit worrying about what we are doing on our cell phones!"

"Excuse me, what? Texting? What is texting? I'm downloading porn! Leave me the hell alone!!!"

Okay I can't even think of any more. I was going to sit here and try to come up with 5 or 6 old one liners. I guess that's a good sign, right?

No, instead...I merely took a deep breath, turned my phone so that he could see what I was doing on it...and informed him that I am aware of the non-texting rule, and that I was browsing the internet. 

And that was that. Yes it was annoying. Yes he was probably over-managing the table. But...is it a reason to flip out and get all upset about? Of course not. And that, I think...is where I have changed a lot in the past year or so. 

Meanwhile...back in the desert...my nose is about to fall off I think! This air out here...ugh! I think every year my body reacts worse and worse to it. Every morning I wake up I am totally congested, can hardly breathe. Nose and lips both all dried up all the time. It's driving me nuts.

So four days ago I somehow managed to lose my new WiFi card...yeah, the one I haggled with Verizon over last week...only to have customer service Fed Ex me a new one...that I had to pay $12 to the 'Business Office' at my hotel to receive...even though FedEx delivered it on Verizon's dime. Stupid. No idea where it disappeared to...but frankly, I am glad to be rid of it. I've heard nothing but bad feedback about the Samsung device...even the guy in the Verizon store today (other side of town...not the nightmare store from last week!) said it sucked. So I got the newer device...for the full price (not eligible for the discount) of $302. Ouch. But I had to have it...and if you do the math...the hotel internet is $14 a day.  So I am back online and able to shoot y'all a message.

You would think I'd have gone and tried to defend in the nightly tonight...but after busting today's nooner and then running errands...pick up laundry, get new WiFi card, and go eat lunch at PF Chang's, I was just tired. Tomorrow is Monday. The 2nd installment of Monkey's Midnight Madness at Riviera Poker room is occurring, and I have already planned on spending tomorrow doing nothing but laying in the sun, reading my book, maybe working out...and mentally prepping myself for the verbal beatdown I am expecting from my 'buddies' tomorrow night.  :)

Just finished watching the Dallas Mavericks win their first NBA Championship. I could not be happier for Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd, certain Hall of Famer's who have both had distinguished careers, both are quiet, camera-shy All Stars...who have never won a championship. And I know I have a lot of readers from the Dallas area...so for you guys...have a good time tonight. Additionally, it was kind of fun to see Lebron and his little 'taking my talents to South Beach' train get derailed. Watching him fizzle at crunch time kind of diminishes his image a bit, as far as conversation regarding who the greatest players of all-time are. Is he great? Sure. But he has yet to prove he can step up and deliver the goods. Not only that...I really am not that fond of the city of Miami. So as far as I'm concerned...the team I wanted to win, won.

Vancouver is one win away from it's first ever Stanley Cup. Their last chance came in 1994...when they faced the New York Rangers. That was a year AFTER I moved from NYC...where I had season tickets for 3 years in a row to the Rangers...to Atlanta. The Rangers won in Game 7 in one of the most memorable Stanley Cup Finals in memory. Well, this time Vancouver, who took a 2-0 lead then got destroyed in Boston...8-1 and 4-0...and looked like they were going to choke it all away...rebounded at home for a win and now just need to win once. It got me to thinking something...when, if ever...has ANY city won ALL FOUR major sports championships (Football, Baseball, Basketball and Hockey) in the same decade? Let alone...ever???  New England Patriots, Super Bowl Champs, Boston Red Sox, World Series Champs, Boston Celtics, NBA Champs....Boston Bruins? That would be a pretty sick accomplishment.

I need to come up with a new reader poll for the right hand side of this blog. I will try to come up with one when I finish this entry. But I was thrilled to see the amount of participation we had in last month's poll. And in a surprise to, I think, no one...the winner, by a pretty significant margin...was the commercial by JG Wentworth...with all those idiots leaning out of their windows hollering to no one in particular about it being 'their money, and wanting it now.' I confess, it was my number one choice. Well done folks. Let me see what I can come up with to top that one.

My wife...who's ring, I found out...was NOT insured...is coming out for a week this coming Thursday. I told her she better get after the cash game while she's here! Just kidding. But I was thinking...if ALL OF YOU would click on that Bustout Poker logo up there...visit the store, and BUY SOMETHING...using my discount code 'monkey' at the checkout...I could probably afford to buy Squirrel a new ring to replace the one that sank to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.

My buddy James Dunning...who I have seen a couple of times while out here this summer...has been really pouring all of his efforts into launching his own line of designer jewelry, and admittedly, has really produced some nice stuff. I put his logo up there months ago...to try and help him get started. Well, today...he announced that he has finally gotten his website launched. So if you get a second...check out his stuff. If you end up buying something...let him know you saw his stuff on my blog...I'm sure he will cut you some kind of discount. I've linked his logo to the new web site...or you can CLICK HERE to check out his stuff.

My Seattle Mariners...fresh off a nice win against Detroit today, behind King Felix...are now just 1.5 games out of first place. This makes me very happy. Go M's.

I've noticed something this summer that is definitely on the rise. I know this, for sure...because my OCD/anxiety level would have been off the charts if it were ever any worse. My medication is being tested to the limits on this one. I think I've already mentioned I am contemplating doing a special little 'barn' on here at the end of the summer, featuring all the 'Dwan-a-bees' out here. Well...this might actually be a little cause and effect type deal. 

People are increasingly taking FOREVER to act on their hands. Why? And it seems to be the younger players doing it for the most part. Again...I ask...why? I mean...the internet got shut down...in the U.S. So I expected to see a lot more internet weasels hitting the felt out here this summer.  And I think I have. But here is my question...playing online...you are usually trained to make decisions pretty rapidly, if for any other reason, you have a limited time bank online, and most guys are usually multi-tabling and can't take all day to make a decision without getting their hand (potentially AA!!!) on another game folded. So...with that awesome skill having been developed, wouldn't you expect these little clowns to make up there mind within 45 seconds?

Well, sorry...it just ain't happening. And I am about to lose my mind! My favorite, is when they size the guy up who just made a raise...eyeball him, then his stack...then riffle his chips...then look at you some more...maybe even look downriver at the blinds...sometimes ask them how much THEY are playing behind...doing some more bullshit tanking...finally earning themselves a new nickname (AquaMan) until finally...they fucking fold. WTF?  And they don't just do it once. They do this constantly.

Another one I love...and by love, I mean (as if you didn't already know this) H-A-T-E is when...and it always seems to happen in low buy-in events...there is, say three players in a hand. Player #1 raises. Player #2 goes all in...which prompts Player #3 to spend what seems like an eternity to decide what he is going to do with his pocket jacks. So...as a savvy poker pro, you decide to start focusing on Player #1...to gauge his body language, his reactions...to use for future hands against him yourself. Because if you are even KIND of a decent player, you already know that Player #3 has close to what I said he has. 

So...what is Player #1 himself doing? Well...if it was ME...I would pretty much already have my mind made up when that guy shoved if I was going to call or fold. And certainly...and this IS a promise...by the time Player #3 spent 3 or 4 minutes trying to decide which agent to use for his life insurance policy, and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop...I would CERTAINLY have it figured out by then, for chrissakes! So when Player #3 finally decides to fold...what does this clown do? 
Of course! He starts a whole new Tank Session. Kill me! Please Kill ME! And kill this guy! Then hide his body, so his family doesn't have to cough up money for his funeral. He doesn't deserve an honorable burial. These people are driving me bananas. But I haven't said a word about it. Not a peep. I just sit there taking one deep breath after another. And fantasizing about things I would like to do to them if it were legal. 

Big shout out to David Diaz for his victory in the WSOP! He becomes, I believe, the first of 'The Boys I Know' to snag a bracelet. Good for him. Nice guy, solid player...no ego. Well, at least...didn't have an ego! Way to go Lefty!

Just watched a pretty interesting show on ABC...think it was called "What Would You Do." It dealt with things that they staged...to see how people walking by would react. Girls bullying a girl out in public. A lady backing into a car, ripping its bumper off while trying to parallel park, others less interesting. I am amazed at how many people will just witness something that is clearly just WRONG and keep on going. I have never been that person. I just don't understand who would be. Weird world we live in. 


What else? Oh...my buddy Charlie 'Smoke' Oliver had his birthday party on Thursday night at Encore's 'Surrender,' a club that is around a pool. I over dressed, so went back to my hotel and changed...with swim trunks underneath. That casino, first of all...is so beautiful. And its funny...the difference between walking around in a casino that nice...and one like the I.P. I don't care what you say....'all men are created equal' is a lot of bullshit. Some of these women who stroll by me...just make me feel like some homeless guy living under an overpass. It was a really fun night, I think we plowed through about 8 or 9 bottles of Grey Goose. I posted a couple of funny videos on my Facebook from that night. I would post them here but they are on my phone...and I'm too lazy to transfer them.

Did I mention I hit a Royal Flush the other night? Yeah...was at O'Shea's after hitting rock bottom, and by rock bottom, I mean....well, pretty much was ready to shoot myself after another day of 2 and 3-outers. It's where I always go when I'm out here and I'm running bad and want to feel better about myself and my life. While maybe winning some loot. So I went. Stayed sober. Took money from morons. And then...at about 5am...hit a royal flush with Q10s in my hand. Turns out they had a nice little in-house promotion at O'Shea's and 15 minutes later I signed for $500...gave the dealer $25...and played for another hour or so...cashing out with a nice profit on the night. It was my fourth Royal Flush in live play. I have had more than that online...but those don't feel as spectacular. 

Is that enough for this entry? Can I leave now? I'm giving some thought to going downstairs here and abusing some of these locals here. I played here the other night for an hour or so and was giggling to myself at how easy it was to win money...but I was so tired, and then after busting a guy...the game broke. And it was the only table going. Bummer. 

Tomorrow night! If you are in Vegas...I hope to see you at the Riviera Poker Room for Monkey's Midnight Madness. Cytherea has texted me that she intends to attend again. She had a really good time last week...and was in on the chop, so that makes sense I guess.

CYA.

MONKEY

1 comment:

Erik Baran said...

Regarding you getting annoyed at the dealer for telling you not to text during a hand.. It is not his responsibility to know exactly what you are doing on your iPad. He shouldn't have to look at your screen and determine whether you are texting or not.

Consistently you convey your appreciation of good dealers who keep the game moving. Wouldn't he/she be able to do just that a lot better if they didn't have to worry about whether or not you are texting??

For good reason, it is the rule that you cannot text, so just put it away. It is quite annoying you think dealers should have to determine whether or not you are texting or browsing the internet. You want dealers to do their jobs well, however you are adding to the list of distractions that diminish a dealer's speed and effectiveness. Your points are quite hypocritical and, honestly, very annoying.