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Thursday, March 14, 2013

March...Let the Madness Begin!!!

It's that time of year again...when baseball is just around the corner, the Masters is looming...with Tiger having just won a tournament last weekend, the NFL Draft is coming...after a slew of free agent moves and trades this week...and finally...March Madness starts next Thursday! And this year looks about as wide open as any in the past 20 years. I've been putting on a bracket pool now for 15 years...and not ONCE (despite my numerous entries) have I even cashed! But I sure keep on trying. Last year, I had a record 482 entries.Interested in getting into my March Madness Pool and any/all others? Email me at  I also have just TWO fantasy baseball spots remaining in my awesome, 20-team league....just $350 per team. Live online Yahoo draft is Monday night the 25th.

The March Madness was one of the reasons I have/had for deciding to sit out the next two non-Caesar's owned WSOP events. There are a couple of other reasons. Recent run-bad at the last two WSOP events has probably cooled the desire to buy my shares. It would if I were the person buying shares. I also had a very hard time finding affordable lodging and airfare to the events in BlackHawk, Colorado and to Foxwoods after that.

Additionally, I finally got a response from the casino in Hammond, Indiana, the one at the heart of my ban from the WSOP events that Caesar's owns. I never received written documentation from them after I was booted in October. Anytime you get trespassed, they are supposed to notify you of this in writing. They didn't. Incidentally, after I posted a blog (and I happen to know that my detractor from the WSOP reads my blog) outlining my goals...that being, to secure enough points at the non-Caesar's owned events to qualify for the WSOP National Freeroll, and  getting the attention of the national media when they learned that I wasn't going to be allowed to play the event because of some total horseshit, railroading incident that had taken place in Hammond.....and yes, I know this is now a monster run-on sentence...I receive, all of a sudden...this letter (notice the date? Check the date on my blog that preceded it!) from the Horseshoe Hammond, a full 3 months after my letter to them, telling me...well, you have eyes, read for yourself. And oh...notice that the signature, from the Security Manager who I wrote to initially, is a STAMP!

Hmmm...sounds like a lot of thought went into that one, doesn't it. Wow! They convened an actual COMMITTEE of  people to discuss my fate! Isn't that flattering! Wonder if anyone else ever calls for/requires a PANEL of administrators to decide a person's fate? Interesting in all that a friend (and share buyer of my poker trips) and 7-Star with Harrah's/Caesar's happened into a conversation with the guy who oversees all of the Southeast region for Caesar's...and when my name came up, he quickly replied that the GM (a woman I've never met or have knowledge of) of Hammond had told him and others that I had been totally crazy and out of control on my recent trip to Hammond. Anyone find this odd? I don't gamble on the floor. I didn't play any cash, albeit one 2-hr session where I was decompressing at a 1/2 table while waiting on my two roomies to bag up their chips. I played a total of 3 tourneys. I was there for FOUR days. Never had a sip of alcohol with the exception of ONE Coors Lite after wrapping up the win in the Mega satellite on Saturday, the same day I had busted the first huge event at around 5pm, min cashing, then buying right into the Mega. When, and where I was alleged to have 'gotten out of hand' is as big a mystery as how and why I was tossed in the first place.

There are some people in this world who are just plain stupid. They act stupid, they think stupid, and they DO stupid. No one ever has a problem fooling these people. They are always in trouble, but are too stupid to know why. You might think I'm one of these stupid people. Truth is, I'm not. I'm anything but. I am mostly a victim of my own past. And granted, I can't sit here and think I was doing anything WRONG back 5 years ago and beyond, when I went to the poker table looking to have fun. Talking a lot. Telling a lot of jokes, some that were appreciated, some that weren't. There was lots of sarcastic humor, some that was found to be offensive. I get it. I have 'one of those personalities' that you either GET or you DONT. And if you DONT...well, you became one of those people who had 'a problem' with me, and what I represented. By the time I decided to chill out...whether consciously or subconsciously, it was too late for some people.  What this recent bout with Mr. Caesar has caused me to do is look at things from a whole different perspective.

I have players, friends and family members who ask me every day: "Don't you think you could sue this guy? I is how you make your living, and he is keeping you from doing that by coming up with these bogus 86's to keep you out!"  It's a tricky, tricky question. I have very little to defend myself with, other than some wonderful comments from fellow players and friends. They could say anything, for whatever reason. All they are is spoken statements, after all. I walk into court, and Mr. Caesar meets me head on with his 'report card' on Mr. Souther...which could be altered, exaggerated, and embellished to sound any number of ways. He could trot in all kinds of dealers and floor people, who may have been promised better shifts, more money and better trips to provide favorable testimony for the Home Planet. Then they have the old mantra that they like to hide behind. "We, as a private property and entity, reserve the right to refuse entry to any player we deem undesirable to our establishment or business." That alone, is probably all the weapons they need to blow me up in a courtroom. Not to mention the thousands they would be willing to spend on lawyers in the name of NOT letting this one rogue player win a landmark case against them.

I am not delusional.  As much as I know I am getting fucked? I also know that I have planted enough seeds over the years to allow them to grow whatever little fantasy tale they want into a much larger picture that would leave me looking like Public Enemy #1. It happens every day, in every walk of life. Rolling this around in my head...since I laid my eyes on that bullshit letter? A couple things came to mind. I think it might be time to write a book. Yeah...a poker book. But not one of THOSE poker books. Kind of a 'So You Want to be a Poker Pro?' or 'I took on the Poker Mafia...and Got Steamrolled.' Or...'Poker...a Game that even a Monkey can play!' For all the dealers, former or still employed, who have come to me and volunteered to give me 'major dirt' on certain poker honchos...for the simple reason that they hated them for screwing them over? I could fill a lot of pages with this kind of information. Why would I do this?

Well...since I've had Carley...I've come to the conclusion, that for the most part? Poker, and the people who run poker? I've pretty much lost ALL respect for a large majority of them. Oh, there are still some who I greatly admire, and I suspect they know who they are. But...I am sitting here being denied by a small number of people who simply have personality conflicts with me. I promote their products, I travel to their events, pay their insane fees to play their events, have always taken care of their staff members...and generally have a good repoire with most of the players. Them denying me access to their events? Who is it really hurting the most? I thought it was hurting me the most. I've changed my mind. I'm supposed to feel hurt when I'm not ALLOWED to go to an event, pay $80-$100 a night for a hotel room, play each and every event...and coughing up 20-30% juice on every event? Hilarious. That's like being pissed at the IRS when they write you a letter and tell you they are no longer going to allow you to pay income taxes because you made a mistake on your return the year before. See where I'm coming from? I mean, I know that is kind of crude analogy, and a bit obscure, but it's done to drive home my point. To be blunt? FUCK THEM.

And since I've been approached by people from Heartland Poker Tour, from WPT, from Venetian...and other events...all telling me they are happy to have me at their events, and hope I can attend them...why in the hell am I losing a shred of sleep because I can't go pay ridiculous fees to play the WSOP events? There is literally only THREE reasons why I even WANT to play WSOP events. (1)The chance to win BIG money, enough to get OUT of poker, in the summer events in Vegas (2) A chance to keep climbing the all-time circuit cashes leaderboard (3) a chance to win rings and bracelets and establish a legacy of some sorts, while opening doors to marketing opportunities. And yeah...those are all three pretty good reasons.

Remember this: Nothing lasts forever. That cute little letter that I got in the mail? I have no doubt that it was manufactured as the result of a phone call originating from the 702 area code and was designed to take the remaining wind out of my sails. And also to provide them with a legal leg to stand on in the event of a lawsuit. The clever folks at Hammond, who are already embroiled in a lawsuit with Paul Gibbons from an incident involving 'small print' on their structure sheet coming between him and a $50,000 car...aren't smart enough to figure shit out on their sending me a letter after booting me telling me why, and what the trespass entailed. Nope, it took Mr. Caesar calling them from Vegas and 'coaching them up' as to how to handle the 'case against Mr. Souther.' Yeah...Mr. Caesar, I know you are reading this. I'm not stupid. I know how you operate. And why. I also know there are a lot of people within your tribe who aren't fond of you. Some of them I've talked to. Some I've just heard what they think of you. You won't be there forever. If fate has any kind of kindness, the WSOP will be sold, by a Caesar's company that is mired in debt, to ANY OTHER casino owner in the world (preferably NOT MGM!) and restaffed with people who are interested in the happiness of its players.

That day will come. That or the tiny leash that Mr. Caesar has been afforded by his handlers will finally snap. And while I'm off in my little world, being a father to Carley, operating my little side business, and dilly-dallying with other stuff, I will one day get a phone call telling me "Oh, hey, the way, welcome back to the WSOP!" The what? Oh...that poker thing? Great. Lovely. Thanks.

So wow...I didn't mean to get off on such a tangent there. This was supposed to be more about March, and all the wonderful things that March has to offer, like $1 Soft Serve Ice Cream at Burger King on a 67 degree sunny afternoon in Biloxi! 

Like taking Carley Grace to the park to feed all the various creatures...and watching her laugh. Like going with her and Squirrel to the greatest and most amazing birthday party I've ever seen...featuring amazing food, drink and games for kids and adults...and getting to watch Carley giggle and smile as she rode a train and a pony.

And most of all...this whole week has been consumed by the start up of my new venture...the club called Monkey's Tournament Poker Series on Pokerstars. In just the five days since it started, I have almost filled up all 100 spots available. We have 85 members, and in the first four days....the attendance in each event has been great. I am amazed at how seamless things are so far, and the feedback from everyone has been tremendous. One of the fun things about it...playing online against players you know really well, both as players and as people/friends...really adds a nice feature to it. I've found myself in spots where I make calls or re-raises because I know the player. In most online situations, its hard to to do that sometimes. If you are intetrested in getting into our club...there are only about 12 spots remaining, email me at

On another note, regarding online poker...I got my first of two checks from Lock Poker. Admittedly, I haven't been playing on there much the last week...with the set up of my poker club, and playing in there most every night. I don't know if my check showed so fast after I emailed Jennifer Larson, CEO, asking how much longer (5 weeks and counting) I should expect my cashout to take, or not. I would like to think that didn't have anything to do with it. But it might have.  So yesterday morning...5 days after that email was sent...the FedEx person rang my doorbell and handed me the package containing my check from Lock Poker. Nice!

In all the years of selling Super Bowl Squares....I had never had anyone stiff me for more than one square. This year? I have a guy named Brett Rovner...who signed up for $925 worth of squares. He won a single square for $150. He owes me $775. He initially emails me telling me he was out of town...that he's sorry, didn't know he didn't pay, and thought he only owed me $350. I answer him what he signed up for...tell him that he owes me $775...and to please pay...since I've already paid EVERY SINGLE WINNER of the squares, despite not having his money. Haven't heard back from the guy. Why? Who is this guy? Well, he went to George Hewlett High School in Hewlett, New York, currently resides in NYC, and is married to Stacey. Do you happen to know this guy? Is he dead? Suddenly in the last two weeks? In jail? Or is he just a fucking deadbeat, loser? Why are these people allowed to breathe? You see these kind of people all the time in poker. Borrow money, sell pieces of themselves (then win and take forever to pay the person)...and then screw the person over. I understand...we are in the gambling business, and we are going to come across some slimey-ass douchebags now and then. But why? Why do those scumbags have to exist in MY world? If you know Brett Rovner...put in a little word for 'ol Monkey. And if that doesn't work? Pull out a gun and fire a shell into his kneecap!

I had a dream last night that a private jet with the whole Kardashian clan, along with Kanye West...went down in the Florida Everglades...there were no survivors, but all of their bodies were found intact, as not even the alligators would have anything to do with them. 

Do you happen to live in or around Minneapolis/St Paul? Do you ever go there? Do you like watching women play professional hoops? Or even like the NBA's Timberwolves? My sister, who I have and have ALWAYS had a great relationship with...rarely asks me to do her any favors. Well, last year, she took a hiatus from her current job as the Athletic Director at her college in Wisconsin so she could go earn her Masters Degree from the University of Washington. She accomplished this...with honors. Well, this has led to a job with the WNBA's Minnesota Lynx in their Marketing Department. I am very proud of I seem to be almost every time she does something. If any of you readers happen to be in that area...or plan to be, and want to attend a game...get ahold of my sister...tell her Monkey sent you...and I'm sure she will take care of you as much as she can.  Janae Magnuson is her name. Her office number is 612-673-8432. And her email address is
File that one away for later.

Okay....that is probably plenty of blogging for one day. Time to turn my attention to tonight's events at Monkey's Poker Club!!!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

awesome blog brother. anything i can do to help wth anything you are involved in let me know.

sincerely your
Tyler "tkethmdwn" Counts