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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Did Somebody Say, 'It's May!???"

Apparently, I just slept right through April!

I kid.  There are some months where I just seem so inclined to write,  then others where I simply have no desire whatsoever. It's not even 'writer's block' as I have plenty of thoughts and material with which to write. Hell...I'm getting paid $100 per post on my 'other site' and I didn't even send them ONE story all April, and haven't sent them one yet this month. Which I suppose makes me kind of a fool right? That I'm blogging here before I blog there? Guess I feel more loyal to you readers...since some of you have been with me here for the whole 6 years that I've been posting here.

What in the hell have I been doing? Well...April is a busy month for me...always. Both Mom and Dad's birthdays are in April. And now...so is Carley's...who just turned 2 on the 25th. You have, of course...tax day..which, for about the 5th year in a row I let my accountant auto-file me an extension. I don't even know why, as this year is going to be so easy. Just something about taxes that makes procrastination seem like the way to go.

Yard work has picked up with the onset of spring. Trips to the beach have picked up as the weather has improved. The playoffs are here in basketball and hockey...and as a lifelong Rangers fan...I've got that to keep me occupied for, hopefully...the whole month. But I don't  know...after two shutouts in a row to the Penguins, and a power play that has gone 0 for the last 34 tries...things aren't looking good. 

The NFL Draft is this weekend. FINALLY! God, I am so tired of every damn day being the time for another Mock Draft from whoever thinks they are a draft expert. I don't understand what all the ridiculousness is for. I mean...it's 7 rounds-worth of players getting drafted to play football. Do we sports mortals really care THAT much where any of them end up? Are people betting on these results? Are their pools dedicated to it? Not that I am aware of. 

Speaking of pools...I came up with a nifty concept and put together my first-ever Kentucky Derby pool...which attracted a much larger than expected 104 entries. It was won by  one of my favorite poker-playing gals from New Orleans, Linda Keenan...who many of you I'm sure have had the pleasure of playing with. She literally nailed 1st, 2nd and 3rd place horses finishes. And her fourth pick finished 5th.  

Also this month, I managed to FINALLY hatch out a deal with the owner of the logo aptly named 'Monkey Fucking a Football' which is, well...an image of a monkey fucking a football. The deal was with CustomInk...who makes my hooded sweatshirts (hoodies) that get awarded (and paid for out of my pocket) to the winners of my  pools.  I received my phone call from the company telling me that we were clear for production, while enjoying a day at the zoo in New Orleans with Squirrel, Carley and my sister and her two boys. 

Yes...my sister came down for a visit over Easter week. So for a week we had a lot of, uh....craziness around the house. It was great to have them...but it was also a bit  of a relief when they went home. We literally had the house to ourselves...100%. Prior  to them arriving we'd had Claudia 'The Claw' Crawford living with us until she 'got on her feet' and decided what she was going to do with herself and her life after her sudden break up with the guy she was dating in Baton Rouge. She'd been with us...for, I think about a month or two.

Well...that may be over as well, since,  while my sister was here she let the same guy, the ex-boyfriend...talk her into letting him take her to Cancun for a vacation. You know, as friends. Just friends. Right. So...needless to say, it looks as though they have worked things out and will be giving it another try. So I assume that means all her stuff will be moving out of our house. I didn't mind having her here...she's always pretty entertaining, she even cooks a nice meal every so often. And I enjoyed some of the talks we had. Ahh, but life goes on, doesn't it? 

My diet has hit a snag. And I'm blaming it on Blue Belle ice cream. I've formed a genuine addiction to the stuff. And, well...if your eating that heaven sent frozen creamery on a regular basis, there is no way you are losing weight. So I'm thinking maybe once I get out to the Nevada desert in a couple of weeks, I will get back to trying to lose some more weight in my quest to get to a very desirable/respectable 245 lbs. I'm currently sitting about 262-265. Not ideal. But my large frame and long arms do manage to hide it very well. 

In April...I didn't play too much poker. What poker I did play, I think I wrote about. The awful trip to Coushatta. Yeah. Never going back to that hell-hole. I mean it. NEVER. And passed on Vicksburg...but did stake (50/50 with a buddy) a  player who was living in my home...to go and play it. Brick, brick, brick. I backed another player...a gentleman I'm good friends with...for just 10% of his total package...in the Cherokee Harrah's event up in Carolina. Same results. Bummer. All told...between the months of February and April I ponied up $4400 for backing poker that turned up nothing. Oh well...I gave it a go. No regrets...I know how tough it is to win poker tourneys...and it could have just as easily gone great. And I sure wouldn't be complaining then, huh?

Oh and for all you jackasses who  like to criticize MY backing packages? Here's a big fuck  you. All the tourneys I backed people in (with exception of the one at Cherokee Harrah's) I paid at a 2 to 1 margin. Yeah! I know! So for those of you twats who like to call me a crook? A scammer? A thieving scum bag? Well....I give what I get. So now...I ask, what does that make me now? I can't find a word for it...maybe some of you internet geniuses can. In fact, I'm sure of it.

Speaking of Internet, as it pertains to poker...something amazing happened. I received my most recent payout request from Lock Poker. A massive $500 check that I cashed out in OCTOBER! It arrived about two weeks ago, finally. And yes...it cleared...though I was seriously holding my breath! I still have about $400 in there and have just been playing it super recklessly...as in, GOING FOR IT! I mean...when you know you may never see the money if you request it...and its doing no good just sitting  there idle...why not get in there and just try to win big or go home? The day I go busto on Lock Poker is the day I can just delete their software from my  computer forever.

I've been playing /dabbling on Bovada a bit. I had one successful night about 3 weeks ago when I took fourth in a $30 tourney for about $550. I had a nice chiplead four-handed but then had two monster suckouts take me down within five minutes of each other. That was kind of a bummer. But last night...after three weeks in a row of getting my teeth kicked in  on that site, I played a $20 Omaha 8/b tourney on there. I think there were 65 players. I enjoyed  the chiplead for a long time...in fact...from about the time there 65 players...until I got heads up. Then it went back and forth for a good while. Then...with me sitting on top set AND the nut flush draw with no low out there...I managed to get all in with the guy....who is sitting on an open-ended straight draw..and that's it. He gets there on the river. Fuck! For starters it was 2am and I was really tired, having spent the day at the beach with Carley and the dogs. For second...I really wanted to win that bitch.

I was left with $4000 chips...and the blinds at 1500/3000. My opponent had 196k! This should be over pretty quick. Um. Yeah...it kind of was. Only...it was ME winning! I'm going to guess that the  other guy wanted to kill himself. I had a couple hands where I flopped HUGE...then just let the guy pour his stack into me. I mean...it didn't take me but 15-20 minutes to make the comeback and beat the guy for a huge $414 score! (yes,  I'm kidding! But the win felt better than the actual money)

Now, I'm not stupid. I know how it works. You win something online...and the next day they butcher you...so I am taking today off! Carley is back at daycare today...after the last four days off with me...and she wore me out! So today  has officially been declared 'Catch Up On Sleep and Sanity Day' for  'ol daddy! That and finally bust off a blog to you people. 

How is my 'little situation' with Harrah's/Caesar's and 'him' going? Will I be able to play the World Series Main Event this summer? Well...without revealing too much, I will tell you that (a) I still am banned and (b) I didn't really do much about it...trying to get 'repaired' what happened in October of 2012 in Hammond. Frankly, I just didn't care that much. And wasn't up for the battle that would be required to get it fixed. 

Well...with the summer approaching, I felt like it was finally time to at least attempt to repair the damage. The damage that was the result of a simple misunderstanding between me and the young lady from Ukraine who was working as a dealer at that event. I have spoken with her several times now...and we are quite friendly. She has  offered to write a letter, or make a phone call...or whatever is required, to get my ban lifted at Hammond, which should (on most planets anyway) result in me being reinstated. 


But this isn't a simple world we live in...this poker world. Nope...see people are allowed to let their petty grudges perpetuate themselves, to a level where common sense doesn't exist. You could do something, be totally innocent, but as long as the paperwork is in place that says you committed some heinous act...its just IN THERE....and the only one who can rescind it...is the person who put it IN THERE!!!! Well, if that person doesn't WANT you to be cleared, and doesn't WANT to rescind it....guess what? It just STAYS IN THERE! That....in essence, is kind of where I am currently stuck. IN THERE!

So I finally took the time to construct a letter...which I'd been writing in my head for months...to the one person at WSOP/Caesar's who  I think has the power/authority/fairness....to help me. I didn't really know what to expect. No response at all would not have surprised me. But...I was completely shocked to see, after two days, that my email to  him had been not only read, but responded to. While the email wasn't totally great news...it was encouraging, giving me some hope at least. I've been promised that he would 'dig around' and see what he could find, and maybe help me out. And so...again expecting nothing, I will sit and cross my fingers and hope something gets rectified. 

To be truthful, even if I do get my ban rescinded, and am welcomed back to the WSOP, and all Caesar's properties, I still don't see myself making a return to a full schedule of events. Frankly, I really only care to play the Main Event  at Rio. The rest of the events? Meh. Those structures, the 3x chips stack vs Buy In amount? Those are definitely NOT geared towards my style of play, at all. I'm quite content to  play across town at Venetian and Wynn...despite all of the recent jackassery of Sheldon Addelson,  the owner of Venetian who  has been doing everything in his power to keep online poker from returning to the US. I know a lot of players have been boycotting the Venetian because of his  actions...and that's fine. I respect them for their decision, and their views of the situation. I just hope they can respect my reasoning for having, or wanting, to play those events and not holding it against me. 

So, what are my plans for this summer? I've decided (I think) to drive out to Vegas in the car I've spent $5000 on fixing/updating/improving the past few months, so much so that I've managed to convince myself NOT to trade her in for a shinier, newer SUV. I just like the freedom of being able to take as much stuff as I want. Not flying is also nice. And as long as I can evade the speed traps of God-forsaken Texas...it should be a cost of 6.5 tanks of gas...then saving all that air fare and rental car money. The plan, is to leave here on May 21st...arrive on the 22nd or 23rd...and get right after the Venetian events. The MSPT has been allowed by Venetian to come in and take over their $1100 event...the same basic branding concept I guess, that they allowed Pokerstars to do a while back with the ill-fated NAPT tour. So having made the final table of my one and only tourney with that tour, I will take a shot at that event while I'm there.

The plan is to play from May 23-June 14th. The MSPT event is on the 11th. On the 14th, I will either fly Squirrel and Carley (who now that she is 2+ I get to pay full fare for!) into Las Vegas that Saturday, or fly them straight to San Francisco. We are set to go spend a week with my brother, his wife,  and their kids...for two days at their home in the Bay Area, followed by 4 or 5 days at their house in Lake Tahoe...a place that Cheryl has never visited. Me, I've been there 4 or 5 times...and love it. There should be lots for all of us to do. So far, I haven't been able to find airfare into either Vegas OR San Francisco that are less than $600 each for them. Brutal. But more brutal might be the 6.5-8 hour drive to my brothers from Las Vegas with Carley strapped into her car seat. That kid does NOT like being strapped or held down. Ever. And even though she is loving the theater I had installed for her in the headrests..its not enough to keep her from losing her mind! So I am leaning on flying them straight out to the Bay...and driving up myself to meet them. My mom and sister are also driving down from Seattle to meet us all there. It will be the first time we three siblings have all been together at one time in about 7 years I think. 

As for backing plans? I haven't decided yet. I can afford, for the first time in a long time, to bankroll myself for the summer...to the tune of probably 10 or 12k. Not that I would hope to end up that deep. I had a great summer last year in my brief 10-day visit, cashing for a total of about $35k if I recall, and making all my backers more than double their investment. And could have, should have...made a lot more, were it not for a couple terrible breaks. But it was a very positive experience. And I know I have a lot of people who enjoy the sweat...so I almost feel like I need to do a package to satisfy the appetites of some of those folks who can't go out there themselves. I'll have it figured out, I suppose in the next week or so.

I have this idea I am rolling around inside my head. As most of you know...I have a pretty tremendous network of people that I mainly built up with my sports pools that I run. A distribution email list that has grown to almost 1900. So this has made it really easy for me to do things like sell a poker investment package. I've had a lot of people contact me, asking me...frustratingly, what they have to do to sell out a package easier? Well...I wish there were a simple solution, but the truth is, there isn't. I think it's 100% a credit to the network I've developed. And I did that by being (a) truthful, open, and honest about what I'm doing, (b) always paying people in a timely fashion when they DO win with me...either in poker, or in pools. And (c) I almost always go way out of my way to keep them in the loop on what is happening...by blogging a lot, or using Facebook and/or Twitter to keep everyone informed. 

I think I've got a lot of people who trust me, and who like to root for me to do well. Hell, I am smart enough to know that I am certainly not the best poker player in the world, not even close. But I do play well enough to almost always have a shot at the big score. Limiting your mistakes, as far as I'm concerned, is the most important thing to playing successful tournament poker,  and I feel I do that as well as anyone. Not playing as much over the last two years, I feel,  has also helped my game a LOT. Just being able to sit at a table and not feel burnt out, or beaten down by all the 'run bad' is such a huge advantage. That and being financially secure...that helps a good deal, too. When you buy into a tourney...and have GOT to cash or you are screwed? That is a terrible frame of mind to be in while playing poker...cash OR tourneys. 

So anyway...getting backed? I think you need to have spent a lot of time, years usually, putting together a network of people who are willing to gamble on you...and people who you know won't criticize you if you don't come back a winner. Because holy shit...who wants that guy who buys 'a piece' that wants to break down your every move/play after the fact? Fuck that. No one can really KNOW what the RIGHT way to play was...when they weren't sitting at your table, had no feel for the other players, the opposing chip stacks, or the history between you and them. It's impossible almost. But you will always here these armchair QB poker players criticizing someone's play like they even had a clue what was going on there. I never, EVER...want one of those people buying into my poker packages, and will flat out refuse their interest if I know that they are one of those people. 

So good luck to ALL OF YOU who are going to be attempting to sell packages for this summer's plethora of events in Vegas. I always root for my fellow players to get to play as many events as they possibly can. There is nothing quite like the poker summers in Vegas...or the action. It's nonstop! And while it can be a mental drain...it is also very exhilarating, especially when you make a hefty score. And I'm not like some of these other jerkoffs who like to criticize other players investment packages. I WANT you all to get out to Vegas to play...whether it's by selling yourself at .7 or 1.2 or 1.7 or 2 to 1! Whatever it takes! I just hope you make it! Don't hate on us guys who are able to sell at a better price than you. We earned it. By either playing well for those people in the past....or by earning their trust and admiration in other avenues of life...and just getting them to jump in because they like you and want to help you succeed. What's wrong with that?

Let's have a great summer fellow poker players!!!! Quit finding reasons to be douchebags. It's not sexy! Its not attractive! And it sure as shit isn't cool!!

IN CONCLUSION: I am contemplating something I have never done before. IF...and it's a very real possibility obviously, I am unable to (again) play the Main Event at Rio...I am putting together an idea...wherein I would put together a Staking Group to fully back, 100%...for a 65/35 cut....three players who I feel are most deserving, and who should not EVER be NOT in the Main Event! In other words...they are great players, but lack the 10k or the means to raise it...but should 100% be playing in that event. If....you think you fit that mold of player...and by fit, I think you know what I mean, and expect....then you can contact me by email...at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com.  I will be responsible for managing this group of investors, the 'point man' per se. This is not a game show, a reality show, or a contest. Well...maybe it is KIND OF a contest. You won't be asked to jump through any hoops or dance like a clown. Simply get yourself to Vegas and be ready for 10-14 days of kick ass, dialed in mentally....poker.

Have a nice day,

MONKEY

1 comment:

Larry Lubliner said...

Nice blog!! Will be in Vegas June 4th until? Hope to see you at the Venetian and hope you get into the Main. Will bak part of your action if you decide to go that route.

Lubliner (AKA TheBadJoker)