Wynning!!!

Well, so much for playing the $1100 tourney at Venetian...which had two flights...one yesterday and one today. Because I decided I would try my luck in the $100k Guarantee $440 (also two flight event) tourney at Wynn. Had I bricked that...then yeah, today I would go play 1B of the $1100 at Venetian. 

Well, my afternoon was spent, again...at the pool...which as I mentioned, has been taken over by the, ahem....SCOTTISH. Not the Irish. And to the guy who left the comment saying that due to my comment regarding the Irish (but actually Scottish) old guy with 4 teeth at the cash table who was indecipherable in whatever he was saying to me....calling me a racist for how I spoke of him? Just makes you a fu**ing idiot. Racist? Hey dipshit...last time I checked, Scottish folks, Irish folks, English folks and Americans...are all the same damn race you ignoramus. 

The pool experience today was much better, since no one puked in the pool, resulting in it being closed for two hours. The Asian Spinach Salad I paid $15 for was okay for the most part, except that it was about 80% Romaine lettuce and 20% spinach. Why call it a spinach salad? Whatever. 

Apparently those two losers didn't have their baby yet. Not sure what that was I was watching that said they did. I can't even look at that guy's face without wanting to punch him. That surly, I refuse-to-smile mug of his. Angry at any and everyone...cuz it makes him thuggish and cool. Ugh. Go die Garbage Kan-ye.

So I get to the Wynn...Encore actually...characteristically late. In Level 3. Glad I did too, from what I could see at the table, I would have surely suffered some horrific beat and been forced to decide whether to refire again or not. I have seen more players this summer who pay absolutely no mind to the concept of 'stack preservation.' Its more important to them to 'make moves' and steal position. It reaches the point of hilarity when you watch a guy raise.....then get re-raised, then put in a fourth raise....have the other guy 5-bet....only to SIX BET....then FOLD to the other guy when he shoves...after having committed over 75% of his stack to the pot. 

One really fun thing about playing in the summer in Vegas is the number of foreigners that you meet and get to interact with. And me, being the dry, sarcastic, self-anointed comedian, loves to play with them and their minds. Its so easy. And entertaining. To me. And to many of the other players. Yesterday was another fun example. We had Germans, English, Brazilians...a number of different countries represented at our table. One guy was telling people something about dancing with him when he raised...you know..."Any body think they want to dance with me, call me here!" That kind of thing. To which I quipped....and understand, when you deliver these 'messages' you have to do it with absolutely no emotion whatsoever, no goofy smile on your face...nothing, just a very deadpan, dry delivery...in order to fully 'sell it.'

"I don't think you want me to dance with you sir. (sir asks why) Because. I am an awesome dancer. (sir says 'really?') Yes. In case you didn't know....I was on Dancing With The Stars four years ago. I almost won...but my dance partner got hurt...and we had to bow out with 4 left. It was very disappointing."

This guy just sat there staring at me...and you could see the wheels in his head turning....'is this guy for real? Or full of shit? He sure does seem serious. He isn't smiling. Wow...he must really be serious.'

This went on for a minute or so...as the other foreigners were starting to inquire as to my dancing prowess, and my past appearance on 'DWTS's'  

"No, I was not on Dancing with the Stars. I was pulling your leg. In fact...I am not much of a dancer at all...and that is why I didn't call his raise."  (they laughed. Easy crowd)

I started horribly card dead. Which was exactly what I like to see. For 7 orbits I didn't play a single hand...which was confirmed by the guy on my right. This, you see....is very good sign for Senor Monkey. When I show up...and get great cards right away...and maybe build up a good stack...it almost ALWAYS ends in disaster.  I'd say 92% of the time. So being card dead was being embraced.

I finally played a hand...JJ...and lost. On an ace high flop the guy bombed the flop with a pot sized bet. See ya. 

I would get down to 6800 (started with 15,000) and at 200/400 limped under the gun with 10-10. No one raised. On a flop of K-J-10, the Asian girl in the SB checked to me with KJ. I bet 700 into a pot of about 1700. She called. BB folded. Turn was the 7 of clubs. She checked. I bet 1500. She goes all in. Oh hell. I expected her to have 89. For a straight. And I was now about out of chips...or at least, not in a place I wanted to be...and was willing to gamble on the board pairing. I called her. Oh good gawd. Two pair....AND a flush draw. I faded the river and had a nice double up. My table broke a little after that.

I hovered for awhile...then with about 8000 chips at 400/800...I flatted on the button with KK a raisers bet under the gun of 2400. I didn't feel it was necessary to re-raise or ship. Besides, if I saw an ace I wanted a chance to get out of there and still have some ammo. The flop came 8-high...and he just heaved a stack of red 5k chips into the middle. I called. He had JJ. I held. Double up #2. Nice. 

A short while later...I flatted an early raiser with QQ...got another call from the BB. The flop came 6-high. Checked to me. I bet about half the pot. He goes all in. The other guy folds. I call. He has JJ. Sweet. I hold again. Nice pot!

At 500/1000...a guy raises to 2500 under the gun. I'm in the SB with A4...and am never calling, unless two others call...then I'm just getting too good of a price. The original raiser was a guy who made the final table with me last week in the big weekend tourney at Venetian...and he is a very solid player. I tell the dealer I need a very 'specific flop' and am thinking something like 2-3-5. But instead it comes A-4-7 rainbow. Nice. I check. He bets out 7500 into a pot of about 11,000. I don't want to take any chances on getting counterfeited or drawn out on...so I raise to 18,500. I am fine with him folding there....and he almost does. But he ships all in for about 50,000. I have to call. He has AK. And I fade disaster. And now have over 100k. 

Things went smooth for the rest of the night. Then they move this German girl to our table. Her name is Jamila Von Perger...she is from Germany...and I've seen her at Venetian a few times. She is young, and very attractive...looks a lot like Claudia Schiffer did when she was in her prime.  Well she also plays real aggressive. At the end of the day...she was the chipleader with 199k. I was in third place...with 179k. She is a good player...and I expect her to get deep. Well, I pulled one of my sickest bluffs of my poker career on her...and came to the conclusion that there are few things in poker more exciting, exhilarating, and satisfying than pulling off a huge bluff for a huge pot. I had pocket 44's and there was a min-raise from the guy utg...who had been doing this a lot. The blinds were 1200/2400...his raise was to 5500. Three called behind me. Hell, I'm getting in here. I call. She calls...and the BB calls. The SB folds what had to have been 2-7 or something.

The flop comes 10h-2h-3d. It checks around to me...with her the only one behind me. I like my position, and I like my hand. I think. I bet 12,500 into the pot of about $35k. She raises, to 25k. It folds back to me. Hmmm. Flush draw? Making a move? Trying to force me out? Or a real hand? I studied her face. Everything. Then smooth called her 25k...which made her noticeably uneasy. The turn was a 9 of clubs. I checked. Now she checks...which opens up a whole new line of thinking. Why would she lay off betting the turn? Was she putting me on a set? Was she indeed on a flush draw? And hoping to river her winner? An ace of spades hit the river. No flush. I wasn't giving her credit for an ace...because I think if she had one...she would have re-raised preflop...and taken down a big pot, judging by how she'd played so far. I thought the ace would give me a card I could use to make her fold. I felt like the chances I was good was only about 10%. And now there was over $80k in the pot...and I wanted it. I wasted no time in shipping all in. She went a little nuts.

Now it was her tanking. And me acting as confident and comfortable as I could possibly muster. She asked for a count. I had 89k. And having that 89k...compared to her 87k...was the ONLY thing I think that kept her from calling with A10...two pair. After about 5 minutes that felt like an hour...she finally folded...asking to see my hand. Now, I never, ever...show bluffs. It's just not something I get off on. And I think it can come back to bite you on the ass later. Plus she was a nice girl, who had done nothing to make me want to piss her off by showing her a bluff. But another part of me...was wanting to show these players...who may not have respected me and/or my game...what I was capable of.

So when I turned over the pair of 4's there was a collective sound of amazement from the other players. "Woooowwwww!!!"  "Whooooooaaaa...no wayyyyyy....."  "Holy....wow, great play man!" And I have to admit, it was a freaking awesome feeling. Not such a great feeling were the daggers of death she was shooting at me with her eyes. It was very uncomfortable. But I'd won a gigantic pot...one that would likely guarantee me at least cashing in this tourney when we come back tomorrow. She would get all her chips back...and then some...when the guy at the table who had over played every hand all day...some times getting lucky, sometimes donking away huge chunks of his stack...would 4-bet shove on her with 77's and her holding QQ. She stood back from the table...holding her breath, covering her eyes...like I've so often done with the dreaded queens. Once she held, and she got her massive double up...she was in a much better mood.

So that's it. I bagged 179k after we got down to 12% of the field...17 players....from a starting field of 135. I am told they got 240 today...so I guess they will play down to about 28 players tonight and we will come back at noon tomorrow in the Wynn's main poker room to resume with about 45 players...which should put us about 10 or so away from the money....assuming it pays 36. I should be in really good shape to make another deep run. 

I really loved playing over there. They let us play nine-handed...which is ALWAYS nice, and appreciated. The dealers were great, the floor people were great...it was a nice room. And they hand shuffled, no shuffle-master...which I am a big fan of. It was a nice change of pace from the Venetian...which I am about to head over to now, for the 4pm tourney...a $250 'Green Chip ($25) Bounty tourney...and of course, I'm late, and don't care. Late seems to work nicely for me most of the time.  :)

Hope to have more good news to report on my next post!

MONKEY

Day 14 from Vegas....Mixed Results

Yesterday I decided to not play the $1600 noon tourney...not expecting much of a turnout. So I went to the pool. As it has happened all three summers that I have stayed here at the Riviera..its again been taken over by the Irish folks. A bunch of football clubs all meet here for some kind of convention and they basically take over. 

This creates a nightmare for the Riviera 'Pool Cop.' This guy is about 70 and they have built a hut for him...an enclosed air conditioned house...that has a sign on it that says NO DIVING. And this, I'm led to believe is his sole reason for existing.  Busting the people who have decided to make the thrill-seeking decision to DIVE into the pool...which by the way is 13-feet deep. Why build a pool that deep if you aren't going to allow people to dive into it?

It's kind of funny though...to sit there...and watching all these Irish nut bags diving, one after the other...and watching Barney Fife going speed-walking out to the edge of the pool...arms swinging, hunched over due to his poor posture...and hollering at the top of his lungs at the 'offender.' At night he is relieved by someone of similar stature...who just sits in that hut hopefully watching TV, or that job would drive any normal person to kill themselves. My big plan for the last night here...is to walk by the pool at around 10pm...fully clothed....then climb up the lifeguard stand...and do a magnificent swan dive into the pool. I might set up my phone a few feet away and have it set on video record...to see if I can create a masterpiece for YouTube. 

By the way. Do you have a hairy back, like I do? Not sick nasty hairy...just kind of ....too hairy for public consumption? Here is what NOT to try.

What are you looking at you ask? That is a back scratcher...that, what do they call it? That word? When it pulls out like an old-school radio antennae? Telescopic? Well I first tried to use electrical tape to attach my trimmers to the 'wand' and trim the back hair. Failure. I then tried taping my razor to it...and using that method. Also failed in that task. I entertained thoughts of offering my maid $20 to do it for me. I finally got super loosened up and went monkey on myself. Getting all but the tiniest of patches...which after a day in the sun sort of blended into my tan!!! Fun story, eh?


Yesterday....one of these drunk fools puked in the pool. They hurriedly evacuated the pool and closed it for two hours. When I asked the reason, they all (seemingly on cue) told me 'we can't tell you why, we aren't allowed to.' Huh? Well, a stroll around the pool provided me the reason.

Not sure where I left off the other day...but I produced a fourth place finish in the $500 tourney with 303 players for $8800. Down to half a big blind I ran it up to 1.1m...with a chance to take a monster chip lead when the eventual winner shoved all in over a raiser...with me finding AK in the BB. I missed and his 99 held. Earlier in the tourney...someone I know came by and asked why I didn't have my monkey on the table...not knowing that I have stopped using my monkey...last year. So in a bit of a spoof that had all the spectators laughing...I started digging out monkeys from my bag and had the entire collection set up around my chip stack.

Speaking of chip stack. Look at this incredible architectural marvel! My friend Gordon Hardy from Pensacola was in the cash room when I went over on break last night to say hi to someone...and was stopped in my tracks by his creation. Maybe the most amazing chip stack ever. Good thing he was playing 4/8 limit...he likely didn't have any major decisions on which 'wing' to deconstruct if he got wrapped up in a big hand!!!  Good stuff Gordon!!!

I won the 7pm Survivor tourney on Sunday night...finally, after bubbling the damn thing (or nearly bubbling it) the previous four times I played the Survivor. It wasn't a full win though. It was paying 7 spots. And when we got to 10 they all wanted to do an even chop for $1675 each. I had the 2nd shortest stack...and since I was in for two bullets ($600 total) didn't really want to screw my backers over by not cashing...and didn't really want to be the ONLY dissenter...plus it was a good bunch of guys, including fellow Gulf Coaster Guy Turner...who had just flown in that night and was playing in his first contest of his trip. 

I've had two cash sessions at my hotel, the Riviera. I've lost $600. So, its a reflection on just how screwy poker is. I can beat some of the best tourney players in the world...consistently, but when faced against mutants I seem to never win. 

The first session, it was this guy...who as soon as I sat down put me on life tilt...hemming and hawing on EVERY hand...providing a long-winded explanation for why he was either playing the hand, or not playing the hand, why he was folding, or raising...or whatever. It was torture. He would decide my raise of $10 was foolish...and re-raise me to $100...leaving $60 behind....I had AKs and shoved on him. He called with AQ. He rivered a king...I said HE rivered a king...yes...because my king gave him a straight. 

It was a collection of hands like that. Losing with AA to KK. Then you had these two beauties at the end of the table...who were lovers. 

Thank god for them...they found each other. They were the resident call stations. No raise was too high. No price was too high to chase a flush or a straight. Pot control took  on a whole new meaning at this table. You simply either decided NOT to bet...hoping your hand would hold up....or bet enought to make it profitable if you somehow held and won the hand....but keeping the bets small enough so you still had fold equity on the river when you knew they hit. Granted, they would always help you out by betting WAY too much on the river...when anyone with 5 tenths of a clue knew they had made their hand. It was just stupid. And it was on the eve of my return for the first final table...where I would get 3rd for $22k almost. The irony wasn't lost on me...that I was getting manhandled at this cash table despite outlasting 718 tourney players that day.

Last night, after three bullets, I walk in, and decide...what the hell, I see all these drunk Irish maniacs at the table...maybe I will get lucky and get at least part of my three bullets in the nightly back. I buy in for $300. As soon as I sit down this old Irish guy with about four teeth and horrible whiskey breath blurts out at me...."Hey...(*@#$(*& QO&@*($&  @(*&@ YU((S[p"  I would like to tell you what he said...and spell it correctly, but the truth was...I had no effing idea what he said. I looked at him with a blank gaze...genuinely trying to replay what he said in my mind about four times...kind of like what I used to do (and still do once in awhile still) when my wife blurts something out in her Southern (Alabama) accent...but no matter how many times I tried to figure it out...none of it made sense. So I asked him:  "I'm sorry...what did you say?"

And he repeated it. O*@#$* @*($*(@$# )(_+_@*(@&_!+@#KNSDI R(*@#&$ .........

I gave up. And put on my headphones.

Two hands later, I pick up AJc. I raise to $10. I get 5 callers. Three of them Irish drunkards. The flop comes Jd-3c-7c. Wow. I bet 25. No need to run them off. Three of them call. Wow. The turn is an 8 of diamonds...no improvement...but surely I'm good still. I bet $60. The two Irish guys call. WTF? The one guy...the indecipherable toothless guy...calls the $60 and leaves $30 behind. Standard Riviera cash player play. The river is a 6. Not a club. Regrettably...as that would have surely sealed the deal. I bet $100. Now the guy next to me goes all in. Huh? What the fuck? The other guy folds his last $30. Weird. I don't have much left...and the only hand besides a set I'm seeing is 4-5 for a gutshot straight. Would he really chase that? Two pair somehow? Screw it, I paid him off. 4-5. Straight. On the river. Paid $85 to chase that sucker down. I told him nice hand, got up...and left. No need to sit through a late night of that bullshit. Sleep is so much more attractive. 

This could have been something I dreamed....except I'm pretty sure I saw it on the TV while sitting there playing cash for 17 minutes...did Kanye West and Kim Karfatshian have their baby and seriously name it Kimye? And did they really have birth in a bathtub filled with Crystal champagne? If this is true...and something tells me it is...I think its time to stage a mutiny against all things reality-show related. Enough is enough.

Happy Birthday to my friend Barth Melius...who left Vegas to go home for a week, leaving me with no real wing man for the rest of my trip here.

Also happy birthday to Squirrel's daddy...Sonny...who might not still be with us here on Earth...but I'm sure he is running good up in heaven...and still looking down on us, providing us with a little reminder that he is still thinking of us. Cheryl misses him so much...and this Sunday is Father's Day...which will be even harder for her. Her courage through this terrible experience losing her father has been remarkable. And this week her Mother came down from Florence to spend the week with her and Carley...who was awfully happy to see her Mimi. We are so lucky to have such a wonderful family on both sides. I love knowing that while I am gone they are in such good hands.

Well...guess that is enough for today. I am going to play the $100k Guarantee at the Wynn today in their Wynn Summer Classic. Today and tomorrow at Venetian is an $1100 Flight A and Flight B tourney...that I think should draw pretty well. I prefer to play Flight B (unless I final table this Wynn tourney-preferable outcome) because you get a lot of players who play that first flight very reckless...knowing they can still come back and try again the next day. I'd rather play Flight B and fade all those potential land mines. And save my backers that second possible bullet. I want to make sure that when this trip is over they all still get a nice return on their investment.

MONKEY

Back for More Loot on a Day Two

Now this is getting fun! And for sure, a new ritual has been born.  There is a big, cascading waterfall outside the doors of the Wynn...and twice now I have made a wish, then tossed a quarter into that pool at the base of the waterfall....then returned from dinner break to watch as magical things started happening to my chipstack.

Wednesday, after I day off of lounging...I returned for the 4pm $400 Survivor tourney. And as I've been doing all week, had my way with my table...immediately growing a stack. But then, in a seemingly carbon copy from the tournament of its nature three days prior...I would go totally card dead...then have a couple of those hands where you have to fold after raising light only to have someone jam on you. So with 9 players getting paid $3400 each...and 17 players left (from a starting total of 89) I pushed my stack with A10...meeting a call from KJ...and watching a king hit the turn that would hold, and eliminate me. Yes, it was annoying. 7 hours of hard work for zilch. I went straight back to my hotel.

Thursday (yesterday) went much better. I arrived near the end of Level 1. Relatively early I limped with 4-7...flopped 5-6-8...and got a guy with a 3 in his hand  to pay me handsomely when a 4 hit the board on the turn. That was interrupted when my KK...where I raised the UTG raiser and another caller (who had made it 1750) to 4850...only to get called by both and have an ace flop (of course). But after that it was just one big pinata filled with chips for the rest of the day. 

There was on orbit in specific where I was just sitting there and chips were piling up around me...first it was the old man...who after losing a big hand decided to start pushing all in every hand...where it made no sense...pushing 60,000 into 1k/2k blinds. Well, I raised in early position with AJh...only to have him shove. I folded. Then I raised with KQd...only to have him shove. Again. And again I folded. Then, literally, on the next hand...these hands all came consecutively, I get AA. Wow...well, I figured if I didn't raise again...which I really don't like to do with AA in early position...not doing so might raise a red flag to the old geezer....maybe not, he may have just been so blinded by his steam rant he was on that it wouldn't have mattered, but now that he knew he could make me fold by shoving, I thought it would be a good idea to raise. I got called by another player....and then....BOOM! He shoves all in. I obviously call. The other guy folds. He turns over AK.

I know...sounds easy, huh? Well he flopped three spades...oh god! Turn was black...CLUB! River...brick. Whewwwww! Bye bye old man. Two hands later, in the SB...I pick up KK. I raise the BB, after it folded around to us. He calls. The flop comes K-J-3...two hearts. I check. He bets 10k. Hmmm..smooth call? Raise? Sometimes I get cute here and let myself get sucked out on...better not screw around. So I make it 23k. He shoves all in. Wow. Okay. I call. He turns over J8. Huh? Well, the turn is a jack, the river an eight...and he thinks he won....letting out a burst of excitement. Um, sir...Kings full of jacks beats jacks full of eights...sorry. 80k chips comes to my stack. 

A few hands later....I get JJ at cutoff. I raise. Yet another OMRG calls. The flop comes J-2-10. I check. He checks. The turn is a 2....full house. Nice. I check again. No bet. Dammit. River is a harmless five. I prepare to bet...and he starts grabbing his chips...and we play a little game of cat and mouse...where I guess he is trying to psyche me into either betting or not betting...not sure. All I was thinking about was "Hey old man, how much are you willing to call here?" So when I thumbed three yellow chips...he also picked up three....well, okay, lets try a few more...so I picked up another yellow (1,000) and a pink (500) and made the 3500 bet...which he called. He saw my hand and groaned. 

On another hand...another old guy min raised my big blind....at 400/800...to 1600. I rarely fold to ANY min raise. And I didn't fold this time, holding 6-8.  The flop came 6-6-7. Nice. I check to him. He bets 3500. I decide not to screw around and get drawn out on...so I make it another 5200 more...raising it to 8700. He just blasts his whole stack in there...somewhere around 42k more. Well...I couldn't see folding there...and by then I was up to almost 200k. So I call. He has....ya ready for this? QJ. Offsuit. Huh? I was, well...pretty surprised. He did turn a jack for an inevitable sweat...but bricked the river. See ya later sir. 

It was like this all day. On the last hand before dinner break...I decided to raise with Q10d. I get called by the big blind, holding A10. The flop comes Q-10-4...all hearts. Good but scary. He checks...I bet out 6500. He calls. Just calls. Hmm...better tread lightly here. Never mind...the turn is another ten...boat. Sweet. And the guy just shoves all in...for over 50K!!! I call...and show him the bad news...then fade an ace on the river that would have given him the better full house....and again I was stacking chips. At dinner break I had around 375k...with the average at like 90k. 

After dinner, and after my table broke and I got moved to another one...I nearly ran into disaster...but that damn quarter in the wishing pool...or maybe Cheryl's dad Sonny..who I am 100% convinced has been watching over me the past two weeks...and making some pretty amazing things happen...saved my but. After having already raised with AQh...getting re-raised by a guy on my left, the poker gear, glasses wearing, headphones...making love to his chips before finally...FINALLY making a bet...calling him...then missing the flop...only to sit and watch him move his chips around, stack then restack them....line them all up....HOLY SHIT!!! I finally snapped...."Dude! Are you going to make a bet or have sex with your chips? Do something! The TV cameras are not ON for this tourney...that is over there across the freeway!" So when he finally announced a bet I fired my cards into the much...annoyed.

On the very next hand...I would pick up 99. Great. I raise again. To 12k. It folds around to the button...where seated with his collection of what I could tell were very hairy railbirds, most of them women. I think they were french or something. But you know when you can just tell by looking at someone that there is a LOT of body hair going on under their garments? They were those people. And the guy looked a bit like Hevad Khan. But it wasn't him. He raised me to 25,500. Playing back at me? Being a bully? Thinks I'm tilt raising after the last hand? Fuck him. I call. The flop comes K-8-6...all diamonds. I look down and see that I have the nine of diamonds. Lets see what he does. I check. He c-bets 25k. Hmm...seems like someone doesn't like that flop very much. Starting this hand...I had about 280k...and he had about 255k. And a rooting section. 

I decide to make a bold move. Mainly because I do NOT think he has a diamond, and also because I think I might be good. So I raise him to 82k. He grimaces..asking if I already have a flush. Ah! Confirmation that he has no diamonds. So when he pushed all in, I didn't feel like I could fold. I called. He turned over two black aces. Whoa. Yikes. Better hit a diamond or a nine here. Turn....ace of diamonds. Boom!!!! But now I just need to fade the board pairing on the river...which I did. And this guy's face turned white like a ghost...and there was a collective groan from the rest of the table, realizing I had just gone to over half a million chips.

The bubble came and  went without any stress, which is always nice. 303 started...and 34 got paid. By the end of the night we managed to get down to 19 players...which, only pays $1101. I think at 18 it jumps up just a little to $1300 or so...and doesn't go up again until 10-12th. No, the money isn't even attractive unless you get top 3...which is what my obvious goal will be today as I head back for Day 2, sitting 2nd in chips with $568k. First place is $31k. That would go quite nicely in my hotel safe next to the $20k that is sitting in there now. And all those 28 investors who I managed to 'hustle' into buying my poker shares for $150 per share...gosh, I know they are just filled with anger and regret right about now. 

Some people ask, while I'm playing..."Don't you hate that you are only playing for 38% of what you win?" My answer? "No. Not really. Because if I lose, it costs me nothing...and if I win, I make a lot of people, including myself...very happy. People who thought enough of my ability to take a chance on me? How many people can you say you have like that in your life? Not many, I'm sure. So for me to get 28 people willing to take a shot on me? That means a lot. And to reward their faith in me...with a big win? Or two? Or even more? It's awesome!" So no...I'm perfectly fine with the 38% that I am playing for. 

I could write more, but I told myself I was going to go to the pool this morning before heading back...and now I've left myself with just 30 minutes to do that...so I'm going to take advantage of it while I still can.  Hopefully, my next blog post brings great news!

CONGRATULATIONS to a friend of mine...and a really good player...Matt Waxman...who won a shit ton of money and a bracelet over there at Rio a couple days ago!!! Just keep adding to the list of friends that have won bracelets. Love to see it. Hope to see more great results in those events that I'm not permitted to play due to...well, no need to open up that festering wound. Not today. Too much to feel good about today.

MONK

Eating Crow is Delightful...Have some Salt and Pepper, Haters!!!

I've lived a very long, full life. My sole purpose for existing now is to bring joy and happiness to my daughter Carley's life. I really don't need for anything. It's all about her. So to find things that genuinely make me pull a Tiger Woods fist-pump out of my bag and employ it in grand fashion takes something pretty major. I last left you with me returning to join 103 other players in pursuit of $54,000. When I got up from the table at 3:45am...I walked over to the payout desk...signed for $21,950..and made my way to the cage. And about half way there...I did a Tiger Woods-esque fist pump. And the thing that inspired that? This post...mentioned to you guys in my last entry. 

boo fukin hoo!!! Another cry baby story. Airport fucked me over, aces got cracked! Just feel lucky that you suckered all those people in to buying "shares" into your vacation! again. And give me a break, get a tattoo to honor my daughter. How about getting your ass home instead of being a so called poker pro. Get A REAL JOB. You suck at poker. Even your so called friends talk about how bad you play behind your back. Because it is true. Grow up dumb ass.

Yeah. I wonder what you're thinking today....asshole. Excuse me, ANONYMOUS asshole. I have nothing to say to you other than this:

SCOREBOARD BITCH!!!

So another post shows up in my 'to be approved' comments, this one from...oh oh...another anonymous poster...who promises I can 'never track' his IP address. This one is ridiculous. So here, I shall share it with you.

 I caught wind that if you don't completely shut your blog and mouth down. Your family my be in grave danger! Time to hang it up my friend, these people are 100% serious! Not worth it man! You have pissed off a major player! You can go to the police, FBI, or whomever! You will not find the source of this message. Take my advice, play time is over. I also wouldn't tell people when I leave my family alone! They wanna hurt you bad! Take it for what it's worth!

Hmmm....he 'caught wind.' So...lets see, he is telling me that if I don't shut my blog down...my really really dangerous blog...which, if you've been noticing I only have made about 6 entries in the last two months...and have a lot of people that have stopped reading it because I NO LONGER rip on people like I used to....claiming that with being a father now, I've grown 'too soft, too nice' and am now not much fun to follow? Oh..he claims I have pissed off a 'major player!' Whoa...a 'major player!???' Golly gee...I wonder who the heck that could be. And no way...the police and FBI can't help me? Play time is over? Bringing my family into it? I know 90% of you who read my blog are really good people, who wish the best for me. And I thank you. You other 10%? I have no idea what sick motives drive you. What reason you have for being such miserable fucks in life. I am not afraid of you, idiots. In fact, I merely feel sorry for you. If you think you are going to scare me with this kind of bullshit? You are delusional. I play a stupid game....a game called poker...and not very often anymore, in case you haven't been paying attention. I could care less about any of the 'major' players...whoever the fuck they might be. I show up. I pay my buy in. I give it my best effort. And then, when and if I lose...I leave. 

You assholes and your attempted scare tactics are foolish. Seriously, you obviously think poker is a lot bigger deal than it really is. You should find some outside interests. Maybe look through a personal ad and find yourself a mate to divert your attention from your sick thoughts. 

Anyway...back to our regularly scheduled reason for writing this blog. To inform, to share, and report. I had a good day two days ago. Yesterday, I took what I consider a very well-deserved day off from poker...floundered around the pool for hours...came back to my room, played some Home Games in my little poker club on Stars...accepted some nice congratulatory comments from my members, hell even won the 10pm tourney...then ordered room service, my first bite of food all day....and upon finishing it, fell asleep and slumbered for 16 hours!!! I didn't intend to play today at noon, a $1600 buy in event...so I've just spent the afternoon catching up on 'other stuff' like booking me and Cheryl's tickets (and Carley) to Seattle for our 1-week vacation to Lake Chelan with my family in July. Paid some bills. Etc etc...and at 4pm...I'm going to go down and play the $400 Survivor tourney at Venetian. 

I was awoken this morning by my cackling mom...calling me to order me to look at my Facebook  wall...for she had dug up some old 'wanna-be-modeling' photos of me from 20-some years ago and had plastered them all over my wall. Good gawd. Thanks Mom. Hilarious. Then fell back to sleep. 

People ask: "Dude...you just made a big score...why aren't you playing today!???" Why? Because I've been playing this game now, full time...for 10 years. And one thing I have learned? You almost ALWAYS have a shitty day after having a great one. And additionally, you almost NEVER enjoy the wins at all if you jump right back into a tourney. To really, really enjoy what doesn't happen THAT often in poker...you seriously need to take a day off, to reflect on it, to think about the good things in your life, and how they have just been positively affected. To think of the ways you want to spend, not BLOW that money you just won. And to just allow yourself to enjoy NOT being at a poker table for 8-12 hours for ONE day! It was great to have that day yesterday. And its been nice laying around all day today doing nothing. Recharge my batteries. Get mentally plugged back in for the final 12 days of this trip. To see how much MORE I can make for me, my family, and those 28 people I 'hustled' into buying shares of my summer action. 

Okay...that's all I really have to say today. Didn't even feel like writing. But thought I should throw you guys a bone! Most of you already know how things turned out...but I suppose some of you I might have left hanging. So there ya go. 3rd place. $21,950. A good day. 718 players didn't beat me. That feels pretty damn good.

MONKEY

Bubble Streak About to Die???

Nothing like logging on to shoot out a quick update and getting the standard hater comment from the same guy...obvious by his adverbs, pronouns and insulting verbiage. I ask you...Mr. Asshole...why do you even READ my blog? Yeah yeah...I get it, I'm a loser, I'm the worst poker player ever, I'm a hustler who 'suckers' 28 people into buying my shares, and even my FRIENDS talk about how bad a player I am. Yeah yeah...you've made it clear...maybe you can mix up your comments a little bit, you know? A little variety? A little twist on your insults? Maybe say something about my Mom? Maybe call my daughter ugly? Hell...might as well even take a run at my dogs. Surely you can do better than you're doing. You are starting really disappoint me with your lack of effort. 

Anyway...to the rest of you. This HAS to be brief. Because, somehow, despite my poor skills at the poker table...I have somehow made it back for Day 2 of the $400 tourney at Venetian that attracted 720 players...and THIS loser. We have 103 players left...and this sad excuse for a gambler. First place is $54,000. The average stack is $70k. And someone snuck me $104k to compete with. I know. Crazy. 

This comes on the heels of three tourneys in a row where I went out within 10 of the money. It has been a pretty irritating/frustrating week. And if you are a poker player...and spend any significant amount of time in Las Vegas in the summer for either WSOP or the other tourneys that take place annually in this city of 110 degree heat and playground to America's uppercrust...then  you know that there is no WORSE place in the world to be when you are running bad...but no BETTER place to be when you are running GOOD!

On the way back from Venetian last night...I felt like having a drink before bed...and so sat down at the little 1/3 table in the lobby at the Riviera where I'm staying. It was like the Twilight Zone. I will have more on this experience, complete with photos in a follow up blog...it was both, well, I will save it for later. It was the most glaring example possible of going from ONE extreme to the OTHER.

Yesterday was a good day. Finally. Things went well. No disasters befell me. I played a very 'damage control' style of poker once I got to twice the average...refusing to let any of the previous three days' disasters derail me. Trying hard to get my backing crew of 28 a cash at least and hopefully more in this tourney. I've drawn the 8 seat on a table that includes the tourney's chipleader and the 3rd biggest stack. I think it's paying 72. Not sure. I only know that first place is $54k and that is the only number I care about. 

I really do have a lot to write about. But like I said...I have to catch a quick shower and get out of here. Just got a very solid 7 hours of sleep that included some of the most incredibly bizarre dreams I think I've ever had in my life. Were it someday turned into a movie it would take the average movie-goer three or four times of watching to figure it out. 

Okay...I'm outa here. Balls back in your court Mr. Asshole. Not sure what your going to come up with if I manage to final table this tourney. You might have to really work on your game a little. While you toil away there at your nine-to five cubicle existence Monday through Friday. Be careful though and don't let your boss catch you!!!

MONKEY

Report from Vegas...

Well I'm three days in and you haters will rejoice in knowing that I'm oh for three so far. Also lost a little bit in cash game...all of that hinging on one HUGE pot where I finally trapped the table psycho with a flop of 5-3-5, two diamonds...me holding Ad5c. But...as things seem to always go...the psycho pulled a rabbit out of his ass...as he held 10-7...of diamonds...and after betting out 100 on the flop...and me min-raising him to 200...he shoved all in...and caught a diamond on the river. Yes, it was annoying. More annoying was my wallet falling out of my back pocket, which I discovered when the taxi dropped me off at my hotel. Oh. Great. Good news. Called Venetian and they found it, and turned it into lost and found. Whew!

The weather has been marvelous. So much so that I am taking the afternoon off and catching some time at the pool and soaking in some desert sun...which I badly feel I need. My hair...as long as its been since I was in my early 20's...is free of the humidity out here...and not curly. I feel like Keith Urban...though my wife and a couple of her friends tell me I look awful, even stupid. I don't care. Carley likes pulling it...and last night, walking back to my hotel...with a breeze blowing...I actually felt the wind blowing my hair. It felt delightful. So ya know what? I don't care how bad it looks. 

I had a thought the other day. Everywhere you look out here there are tattoo parlors. And I don't think I go anywhere where you see more people with tattoos. I have NEVER had a tattoo in my life. I hate needles. But for some reason...I kind of have a desire to get a very low-profile, even hidden from public view...a tattoo to honor my daughter. Something really special. It's just a thought.

My flight out here was typically screwed up. Of all the airports I fly into and out of...I've never had more problems than I have at Gulfport/Biloxi. Its as though they take joy in dicking people around. From closing the gate early, to losing and/or damaging luggage, it never seems to end. And the TSA presence is such a joke. I have never counted fewer than NINE TSA agents in their tiny area... and this trip was no different, as there were TEN. It reminded me of that funny scene of the Keystone Cops in those silent movies...all running around really fast, getting nowhere fast and doing nothing slow. Or a bunch of monkeys fighting over a coconut.

All this happened after I missed my early morning flight. Oh I arrived in what should be plenty of time...40 minutes before my flight. But absent was the person at the ticket counter. Why? Oh...because they love to close the gate WAY before the flight leaves. And then they just vanish. So you are left standing there...asking someone, anyone for help...and they just look at you and shrug. Can't check your baggage...you can't fly. So it costs me $50 to change my flight to that evening. I arrive an hour and 15 minutes early. Check my bags. Go through TSA...which took 15-20 minutes as they decided they needed to scan, re-scan, then pilfer through my carry on.  Get to the gate at 6:15...for a 6:45 flight. Three minutes later...the guy gives the final boarding call. Huh? I look at the clock. Half an hour before departure? WTF? Guy asks me if I'm on the flight. "Yes, I am...do I not have 20 minutes or so to board? I really don't like standing in the jetway with all the other passengers."

"You have a couple minutes." And a couple minutes later...was ordered to get on the plane. Weird. Why say the flight leaves at 6:45 if you are going to close the gate at 6:25? This, in my opinion, is really fucked up. So as I'm about to board...the baggage lady at the end of the jet way grabs my carry on. Whoa! No you don't! First...I had a very short layover in Atlanta...like 30 minutes...which means taking that train to your other terminal and hoping like hell they don't leave before the posted time there! So checking my carry on bag? And risking the wait associated with waiting for it in ATL? Not worth it. Plus all the valuable shit I have in that bag? Secondly, I have two carry-ons...one that is border line too big for some overhead bins...and one that is MUCH smaller and fits in all of them. I know this for a fact. Yet...there are always these fuckers who TELL YOU that your bag won't fit...and that you HAVE to check it.

"Listen...I KNOW my bag fits. I have flown on this plane a LOT of times. I do not WANT to check this bag...I have a VERY small window to make my connection in Atlanta and can't risk it. Please let me keep my bag." Then the bitchy flight attendant got involved and ordered me to check it 'OR ELSE.' Well you know how much these assholes in the airlines industry have gotten in the past ten years. They have the quickest trigger finger when it comes to finding reasons to have people kicked off the plane. So I finally relented and let them take my bag. 

So I'm standing...with about 5 other passengers...and putting my small shoulder bag, my sweatshirt and a pillow in the overhead when 'The Bitch' starts hollering at everyone to sit down, that they need to get get this plane in the air! I look at the time. 6:30. I say to her..."Excuse me ma'am, the flight is scheduled to leave at 6:45...15 minutes from now...why are we being rushed so bad?"

She babbled incoherently some response that made no sense.  But the one thing she said that I DID understand made me realizing we had a little scene developing here that was reminiscent of the one in 'The Bridemaids' and I better switch it into super mellow Monkey Mode in a hurry. So when she says, "Are you going to be okay for the next hour? Or are we going to have a problem?" I slowly nodded to her that I would be fine...and calmly sat down...seething.

Then while doing her little speech on the intercom bumbled that badly as well, mispronouncing numerous words, stopping in mid sentence a bunch of times...claiming 'she lost her place' on the card. Rolling her eyes...as if she couldn't be more annoyed at having to do the passenger safety speech. She was a nightmare. The difference in her performance, and the crew on the flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas was night and day. Tell me this. Why....on one leg...is the form of payment accepted for goodies and drinks CASH ONLY...but then on the next leg...same airline...the only accepted form is DEBIT CARD ONLY? Can someone explain that to me? And answer me this: On the flight from Atlanta to Vegas...they break it to us that the WiFi will be unavailable for the flight due to technical issues. At what point does the airline owes us some kind of refund? I mean...they lose your damn luggage...and they give you a $50 voucher for toiletries. Oh boy. But almost all of us now, when booking our flights, choose the flights that include WiFi on them. I sure know I do...and will pay a little extra for that flight. So, having paid that extra amount, then being deprived of it...do they NOT owe us a refund? Pisses me off.

Well we get to Atlanta...and thanks to them leaving GPT/BIL earlier than posted...my carry on bag taking 20 damn minutes to come up from the baggage hold didn't cause me to miss my connecting flight...which was two terminals over...and which, when I got there was in final boarding call. If I haven't mentioned it lately...and I know I have...I will reiterate it again...I HATE FLYING COMMERCIAL AIRLINES!!!! When and if this oil land of our family's in North Dakota every starts producing on a grand scale...I swear to god...I am taking a lease on a private jet and never flying commercial again as long as I and the rest of my family live!!!!

First tourney I played...$400 Omaha 8 or Better. Drew a really tough table...which to me is fine, you seem to avoid some of the donk play when that happens. But as some of the good players were knocked out, they were replaced by 'those guys.' One of my investors came to see me, and pay for his shares...and while there watched me go on a monster heater...to where I took the chiplead at the table. We were also into the later stages, where the blinds start to mean something and everyone isn't playing every hand. Well...I would get into a hand with KKA4...five way action...and flopped K-2-10. Rainbow. What possessed the guy to call with 3-5-Q-8 to even play this hand, I have no idea. I guess cuz his 5-8 were suited. :).  I bet the flop. He calls...and two others. Turn is a jack....of diamonds...putting two of those out there now. Only hand I can see beating me is AQ but its hard to put someone on that...calling a bet with a gutshot, in OMAHA. I was right. No one had AQ. But this guy now decides...even though there has no been a bet...and ME raising...to call with his 8-high flush draw (and no possible low hand)..and getting called by the other guy...now making for the biggest pot of the tourney to this point...we were now at 400/800. The river is a nine. I was glad to see there wasn't a low out there...but now I'm looking at the board...and as this guy bets...I start wondering if he has the straight. I have to pay him off. Yep...gutterballed me. Shit. Huge pot. Other way. Instead of having a massive table chiplead I fell to below the average of 12k. 

It only got worse. Same dealer. It's weird how things can be going so smooth all tourney...and ONE dealer shows up and just ruins you. I know it's not their 'fault' and all that. But it's happened to most of us, and I know most of you can relate. And it just pisses you off. Well, this guy did, in fact ruin me. Two consecutive river beats in a row...one where I had flopped a set, turned a boat..only to lose to a bigger boat on the river (holding an overpair...then bink!) It was really disheartening...as I already had 8 hours invested and was excited about starting the trip on a positive note. I busted around 8 and played cash for several hours then returned to my hotel. Minus one wallet.

Yesterday...I played the noon $400 NL...which was the second of two flights...the first coming on Wednesday and getting 180 players. We got 251 yesterday. The first hand I played was aces. And I lost a third of my stack. Folding to the guy's river shove after calling a flop and turn bet and a board of 10-10-5-Q-9. Felt like either KJ....K10...or a stone bluff...and I just didn't feel like being out 15 minutes after sitting down. Who knows? After the way the day would go from there...I kind of wish I had made the call and hoped it was good.

I had a table that was very irritating. One young kid...in his ridiculous glasses that were two sizes too big for his face, and two shades too dark to see anything...pulling them down anytime someone re-raised him to see how much it was. He became that kid I hated. He was a twerp. Had these long bony fingers...this sharp Ichabod Crane-like nose, and these beady little eyes, to go along with dorky hair cut like a smashed down brillo pad. (I know I know...who am I to talk about hair right now!) He was a pest. Raising my button EVERY single time he had the option to do so. He was raising with a lot of really crap hands. Getting lucky a lot. And of course...had a lot of chips. The whole end of his table was aggressive as hell...and my cards all day were total shit. Which...with their aggressiveness, made for a toxic combination. I mean, I like to use my super tight image to at least pick up some blinds once in awhile when I'm card dead and blinding off my stack. But these dicks made it hard as they were constantly 3 and 4-betting behind me when I'm looking at hands like Q-J, A-9 or small pairs like 5's or 6's. You know the drill. I chose instead to be patient...knowing that once I got into the 500/1000 and up levels I could catch up really quick with a few decent hands and avoiding bad luck.

Screw that. A new player at the table...a total buffoon...in an ill-fitting track suit and like the troll next to him, ridiculously over-sized and over-darkened shades...raised under the gun with A5 off for 2200. I shoved all in for 5300 with AK. It folded back to him. He snap called. And the dealer rewarded his excellent play with a five on the flop that held. And I was out...75th of 251 players...after a very torturous afternoon. Just in time for the 7pm tourney.

Very first hand of the tourney...I get...shocker...AK! But, astonishingly...after raising and getting called...I won the hand..and a decent pot. Nice start. Couple hands later I win with JJ. It was a $300 Survivor tourney...with each winner getting $2500...rewarding 10% of the field. Winning this would be nice...and get us back up over our starting number of $7500. Well, I had a couple hands blow up in my face...first, calling a 250 raise (at 50/100) in the BB with El Diablo suited. (K10c) Flop comes Q-9-5, two clubs. Nice. I check, he bets 500. I raise to 1100. He just calls. Hmmm. Turn is a king. Whoa. Top pair. Flush draw. Straight draw. How am I going to lose THIS hand? I bet 1500. He just calls again. Hmmm...okayyyyyy. River is a total brick, unless my king is good. I decide to check and see what he does. He bets another 1500. I can't really fold. I call. He has two aces. Ouch! Nice hand sir......

A short while later...I limp with Js10s...and there is this old...yes...we will call him an OMRG....who has been over-jamming constantly, and I will say it, the structure on this tourney was, uh...really speedy. Starting stack 12k. Blinds 30 minutes. But 50/100.....100/200....150/300...yeah...but level three you are already at just 40 BB's. Speedy. So geezer got down to 7k and decided it was shovefest time. Well he raises to 1200. Two others call...noticing what a fish he appeared to be and wanting to take a shot at him. Well, I did too, so I called. Check out THIS flop!!!

As-Qs-8d  Yahtzee! Royal Flush draw. Two straight draws. Second nut flush draw. Looking for the King of spades...or just the king. Or a nine. Or any spade. 15 outs....by my count. I'm planning to check raise him...but when he bombs out a c-bet of 2500 and I now have 6200 in my stack it kind of takes away that move....knowing he obviously will never fold...so I shove. He does call and turns over the mighty A-10 offsuit. I would miss 15 outs twice...and be down to 300 chips. Fabulous.

Well...I go on a bit of a miracle heater...and have that 300 chips up to 8900 at 200/400 when this guy...who is REALLY aggressive, and who was the same guy who rivered that diamond on me in the cash game the night before...raises at cutoff against my small blind. I look at 10-10...and decide to play it coy. I call. BB folds. Flop comes A-10-3. Sweet. I check...he lifts up his glasses to count my chips or just try to make me nervous like some players do. Between you and I? When another player gives out that classic line:

"How much you playing there?"  It tells me right away that they have air...and are trying to intimidate you. It has stood the test of time and proven itself to be a valid theory. He doesn't ask this..but he's one of those guys who likes to motion with his hands to get the other player to lift up and back away from their stack to give a clear view of their stack. I hate those idiots. There are times I wish they would give us all a dry erase board and require us to keep our chip count updated and written on this board. That way..it would be just like playing online where you always know exactly how many chips the other player has. And it would take that stupid 'move' out of the game.

So....he eyeballs my chips and says those two magic words I was hoping he would say.

"I'm all in!"

Yeah...I call. He had AK. You can almost predict whats coming right? Turn is a queen...and that uncomfortable squirming in the seat starts....and then watching the dealer...staring at the last card...as it comes out...upside down and not visible...then almost like in slow motion....flipping over to first reveal the bright colors of a face card...causing the initial jolt of shock...then the finishing move when you see that it is the Broadway-completing Jack of clubs. Eyes close...breath is exhaled...chair is pushed back...goodbye and good lucks are issued...and I disappeared into the night...walking back to my hotel. Oh and three.

In conclusion...poker is a very difficult way to make a living. And it's been further complicated by the fact that players are all getting better...to a point where they have evolved over the past few years to a point that the playing field is really pretty level now. Which makes it SO much harder to win. The dead money, the total sucktards...are fewer and farther between. Really, all you can do, is play solid, try to get inside the top 15% of the field...and hope things just break your way...either through getting great cards, or just hitting every damn flop...or god forbid, having a table that folds to all your bluffs! I walk around and talk to so many different players, players all with differing styles of play...and they almost all agree with this line of thinking. That it's just TOUGHER now than it was 2 and 3 years ago. 

A lot of players...and a lot of money...are going to be coming to this town in the next month and a half. The big winners are going to be the casinos, and a shockingly small percentage of those players. To be one of those players? Well, that is why we are here, isn't it? But it's tough...brutally tough some days...and the hours and hours you commit to chasing that goal is tiresome. Which makes taking an occasional day off to clear your head of all that pain you've been enduring. So I'm hoping 3 or 4 hours out at the pool will help to get my batteries recharged today in time for the tourney at 4pm. Tomorrow is the first of two flights in a weekend $400 NL tourney...which I suspect will draw close to 1000 players total. Be a good one to run good in.

Does it suck to not be able to play at WSOP? Mmmm yes and no. Yes, because I miss a lot of my buddies who I know are over there. Yes, because it sucks to be forbidden to go ANYWHERE...especially when you didn't do anything to deserve it. It's just irritating, and frustrating. But no, in the way it relates to my poker bankroll and the type of games I like to play. As for SNG's? The WSOP sng's have horrible structures...while Venetians are fantastic. And when it comes to tourneys...the only tourney I would be playing over there would probably be their 2pm Deepstack tourney...that draws HUGE fields and has a better structure. But the bracelet events? Those buy ins are way too high for my budget...and I'm not down with those miniscule starting stacks. The only bracelet event I would ever just HAVE to play...is the Main Event...which is the greatest structure in the biggest tourney in the world. Missing that...will sting. But overall, I'm very happy and content to be out here...fully backed...and playing in good tourneys with good fields. And I do wish TONS OF LUCK to all my friends and blog readers who are playing in the WSOP events. I would love to see one of them win a bracelet and a truck load of money.

Okay...that's it for today. That was probably more than I planned to write...and I actually left out quite a bit. But I will leave that for later. One thing about Vegas...you KNOW there is NEVER going to be a shortage of things to write about when you're out here!!!

MONKEY

24 Hours til Vegas...No Expectations

I know, its been awhile, again...since I blogged. It's been a, well...it's not been the best of months. And poker had nothing to do with any of it. 

Every time I click on this bookmark, to make a blog, the first thing I see is any new comments I've received. These comments...whether I choose to publish them or not...have stopped posting to the actual blog page. I don't know why. Google always returns an error message when I try to re-add it. So the only one who sees your comments, is me. 

Well, there is one...it might be two...guys who have taken to pretty much coming up with the most personally offensive things they can think of to say to me. Of course they never sign their name to their comments. A lot of their comments are based on posts they see on my Facebook...which is useless in trying to figure out who they are (not like it matters, really) since my posts on Facebook are viewable to anyone, not just my F/B friends. 

I've gotten a lot more thick-skinned the past five years...due in large part to a lot of the bullshit I've endured while playing poker for a living. So a lot of these comments I read, don't really stick to me like they might have in the past. Sometimes when someone says something about you, you have the urge to lash out and defend yourself to those who say things about you. I think its human nature. 

Well, I'd be lacking any human emotion whatsoever if I said that these comments didn't at least upset me a tiny bit. Of course they do. I don't like that people just sit there waiting for me to make a blog post a Facebook post, so they can fire off their latest mean comment. What inspires and motivates them to do that? Are they so devoid of things in their own life to focus their energies on that they need to turn to upsetting mine? I guess so. The common thread in these person(s) slams against me are my frequent sharing of information, personal information...that this person feels is an attempt on my part to garner sympathy. 

Hmmm. So I thought about that for awhile. I mean...seriously, really thought about it. Do I do this? Am I looking for sympathy? And I came to a rather unanimous conclusion. Hell no. See, I share...probably TOO much, with you...my readers, when I write my blog. Most people are really averse to letting what amounts to total strangers into their life too much. They will let you know only what you need to know. And I admit, I'm guilty of letting people see too much of the show behind the curtain. And it isn't always pretty. Admittedly. 

But I thought about it, long and hard. Sympathy? I think to be seeking sympathy, you first need to feel sorry for YOURSELF...is that not true? And I know that no matter how low I've gotten..whether it be in a pit of depression, or a financial hole...that I rarely have spent much (if any) time feeling sorry for myself. In fact, I browse Facebook on occasion and almost punch my computer screen at the number of those people who ARE on there...that their cry for pity is so patently clear. But I don't leave them a snarky comment, bashing them for their pleas for sympathy. I just move on. So when I read this person(s) comments instead of getting defensive and/or mad..I just took a look inward, at myself, to ask if I'm guilty of this. And like I said, concluded that its not even open for discussion.

When I get low, or broke, or frustrated, the last thing I do is seek others to make it better. Know why? Because I've lived 46 years on the planet, and I've figured out that the percentage of people who really, truly care...about your bad run of luck, about your plight in life, about your current financial status? Is a very small number. Oh...I might talk about it. But talking about something...and only to those you feel you can...and whining/bitching about it...are two totally different things.

So...two weeks ago tomorrow...something very tragic happened in our home. Right in front of me, my wife, and our 1 year old daughter. Right in our living room, on our couch. It will forever change my wife and I...hopefully Carley was too young for it to impact her. Five days after this happened, whoever this asshole commenter is...posted a comment in here, suggesting how 'excited' I must have been to post about what happened on my Facebook. People that are cut from this fiber...are truly the lowest form of human life...and have a special place carved out for them in hell, I think. 

Most of you know what happened two weeks ago. Cheryl's father, Sonny...who was staying with us while he recovered from one of the most serious operations you can ever have...something called the 'Whipple Procedure', and which was later told to us by the coroner that it carries one of the highest rates of mortality of any operation known to the medical practice...suffered a heart attack, which we assume was related to the recovery process, since he had never had any history of heart trouble. We gave him the aspirin he requested. I immediately and calmly called 911 and the fire department medics were here in 2-3 minutes to stabilize him. He continued to slip deeper into pain, difficulty breathing...and you could see and hear the pain and fear on his face and in his voice. Cheryl was trembling and crying and freaking out. Carley sat...ominously quiet...just staring at 'grandaddy.' I kept trying to figure out something I could do to help...but the 3 medics seemed to have things in control. They were waiting for the ambulance...to take him to the ER.

It must have been 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived...but it felt like an hour. They got him on a gurney and rolled him out to the ambulance...where we all watched him put inside...with his eyes open...but in visible pain, and the fear in his eyes was obvious. Cheryl followed the ambulance in her car...as I tried to contact our babysitter...which I did...despite it being 10:30 at night. She showed up in minutes...I gave Carley to her...and sped off to the hospital. When I arrived, the personnel from the ambulance was still in the carport..and when I approached them to talk, I could already tell by the look on their face that the news was bad. I found Cheryl in the waiting room, bawling. It was a nightmare. I didn't know what to do, or say...so I just held her. 

I texted one of her friends...knowing that in a time like that...it would help to have a girl friend there. I was right. Within ten minutes two of them showed up. And I could tell it meant a lot to her. The four of us were allowed in to see her father...who they had laid in hospital bed. I'd never witnessed death before. This was new territory. And this was my wife's father...who she adored. Later (Friday), on a drive home (to N. Alabama) to conduct his service...I would start a conversation with Cheryl about her daddy...wanting to know more. In the 12 years we have been together...I never really had a great relationship with Sonny. It wasn't bad...not at all. It just was never great. I probably didn't make enough of an effort to get to know him...and I felt kind of bad about that now.

A few days before Sonny died, he said something that really touched me. I can't remember him ever paying me a compliment...I mean, aside from something trivial...a real compliment. He was on the couch watching me feed Carley while Cheryl was at work one day...and just out of nowhere says....

"You know Will, I wasn't sure how good of a father you would be...but you really are a great dad. I'm surprised."

That comment is what I will always remember about Sonny. That and the things Cheryl shared with me on that drive home...we had such a good talk...that I completely missed the exit to her brother's house! And she didn't notice that I'd missed it either. In 12 years together, it might have been our best conversation ever. 

It just so happened that Cheryl's grandmother, Sonny's Mom...had a family reunion planned for last weekend...so a lot of people were in town for that. So they kind of had to rush the service...which was held at his mom's church. I was amazed by the turnout...close to 100 people...and the amount of flowers that were sent was truly impressive. I was happy to see that the Beau Rivage had sent flowers. That was a classy move by them. The service was nice...with a picture slide show that Cheryl and her brother's wife put together the night before.  A lot of tears were shed...Cheryl was incredibly courageous...not just during the service but the whole week leading up to it...and since. 

Sonny had a lot of debt,  and his life insurance had expired two months before he passed...and since his health was so bad, they wouldn't write him a new policy. So a lot of things were left to her brother and her to take care of. I felt so bad for them. I mean...you just lost your father...and now you have to deal with things involving money? It's just an insult. I mean...you would think when your loved one dies...you would at least get a little time to mourn the loss before being hit in the face with bills. But I guess it's just a reality of life. So we took care of the funeral home's bill...and the rest will be dealt with later, somehow. But watching Scott (her brother) and her deal with all this that whole week was just absolutely inspiring. Scott and I had a talk out in his driveway when we arrived that Friday night...about God, and faith, and a lot of beliefs that his dad had about it. We talked about the importance of family and friends, and our health. It was another good talk...in a day of great talks, and understanding of the people who are closest to me. 

I don't know if I could have shown the strength that her and Scott showed that week. Scott loaded up his three boys and wife on Wednesday night...and made the 6-hour drive down here just so he could sit with his father and pray with him...before he was cremated (per his request), then stayed the night with us...and we all drove back up to Huntsville the next morning. He said that seeing his dad made him feel a lot better.  My respect for Scott...never before even in question...just continues to grow all the time. He is an amazing father, a great husband...and just one of the best people I know. Having been around him for the past ten years made me nervous to have a child, not thinking I could ever be even CLOSE to the type of dad he is. My hope is that I can just be close.

So Sonny has left us. He was a member of my poker club. A lot of people said a lot of really nice things about him. When his surgery was over...and they determined he didn't have cancer (which several doctors thought he did have) it was a great moment for all of us. He got back on and was playing poker while he was here staying with us. He collected a few wins...but mostly had a lot of frustrating results. Yeah...I know the pain...in the month of May...out of 152 games played...I have bubbled 41...FORTY ONE...times. It's been insane. Whatever. So when Sonny passed, he left me with a negative balance that was pretty significant. I wasn't upset about it. It is what it is. As was the bill for the funeral arrangements. It's life. It's family. 

It did give me a little perspective on my future though. Me and Cheryl. No more eating bad, and not exercising. I don't want my child having to bury me at a relatively early age.  Also made me glad I took out a good life insurance policy for me and Cheryl last year...so that if something does happen to one or both of us...everything we leave will be taken care of, bills, daughter...and family. It has changed my whole outlook on this trip I am taking to Vegas tomorrow too. Now that I have a solid little business going with the poker club...that is doing wonders for me and Squirrel's bills, as well as our relationship...in addition to my other side business, an online marketing business...that is doing great since I made a few changes in April...I finally have the opportunity to go to Vegas not HAVING to win. 

I sold out my 50-share package in just a few days...and will play for 38% of myself this summer...on my 20-day poker trip that will have me playing primarily at Venetian. I have a total of 26 investors. They are in for 62% of EVERYTHING I play...sit n gos, satellites, and tourneys...all of em. And they will get as close to daily updates as possible. The number...which will start out at $7500...and just go from there. If it ends on $7500...they all get their money back. So for you wizards with your snappy markup math that you like to do....save it. It doesn't work with this game plan. It's real simple...if I cash....I get 38% of what I cash..and the rest goes in the bankroll. At the end of the 20 days...whatever that figure is...gets chopped up and paid out. I predict I will probably play about 25-30K worth of tourneys and sng's. Pretty good action for $150 a share...and I don't have too many investors who have ever felt like they didn't get their money's worth. Or at least not that I know of. 

Back to Sonny. Whether you believe in God or not...there are things that happen that sometimes are very hard to explain. Well, last Sunday night...we were up Killen, Alabama at Cheryl's mom's house. Cheryl had spent the day at her Daddy's house going through all his stuff, trying to get his affairs in order...and I was at her mom's house. I logged on to Lock..which I hadn't played on in a while...at least a month. I bought into the $20 MTT and their $10k Guarantee $109 buy in. I started great in the 20 and terrible in the 100. I would final table the $100 and not cash the $20. Once at the final table...I was 7th out of 9. Then the breaks started coming. One suckout after another. What is going on? This NEVER happens to me on Lock. EVER! Then I got heads up. And with me trailing 9 to 1...fought my way back slowly...got it to even...then lost a huge pot to fall back to down 6 to 1....I was feeling hopeless, but still good about winning $2200 for 2nd....when all of a sudden, I raised with 99...got re-raised....put in a fourth raise...and had him shove on me. Had to call. I was up against AA. Ooops. 

The board ran out dry until the river...when a nine hit! Holy cow! No way! I took down a huge pot, momentum swung my way...and before I knew it, I had him on the ropes and finished him when we both flopped two pair...mine better than his. I had won. $3200. Biggest score ever on Lock. And for a moment I looked around...and wondered if Sonny had maybe had something to do with it. That his guilt that he maybe was feeling over leaving us with his burden had been lifted by steering a few breaks my way. I would like to think that is exactly what happened. I know Sonny had a rough last decade. But he was a good man. And his kids loved him unconditionally. And despite being a great student of religion in his earlier years...before losing his confidence in the lord, and before losing most of his confidence in a lot of things...I feel that our father in heaven has invited Sonny into his haven and provided comfort to him.  And that we will all be reunited with him one day. 

So me sharing this with you? Is this me wanting sympathy? As this jerk who leaves these comments would suggest? I don't understand how. Why would I expect anyone to feel sorry for me? That's stupid. My life, I think...was made better by having experienced this. I want to think that something positive has resulted from this terrible tragedy. I know what a good wife I have in Cheryl, what a tremendous person she is. How caring she is. And I know that my daughter will always be in the best care...whether its from me, my wife...or members of our family. 

As I get ready to leave for Vegas...the most important things in life, in my life...are solid. Bills are paid. Home is secure. Child is healthy. Wife is still recovering, but surrounded by a loving family. I am not leaving tomorrow with any feelings of desperation. I know I'm a good enough player to win something decent. I also know that no matter how good you play, sometimes...you can't fade bad luck. If I play good enough to get deep, and put myself in position to win a good amount of money...that is all I can really control. The rest will be up to the Poker Gods. Because no matter what anyone tries to tell you....you can only get it in good so many times...and if it doesn't hold, you aren't going to win. AA always beats 77 preflop. But once those five cards come out? Anything can happen. What I can't, and WON'T do...is let the bad beats eat me up.Yea...it's frustrating...it truly is, and anyone who does what we full-time poker players choose to do for a living is going to experience it. More than we care to believe we ever thought we would. You have to have some major intestinal fortitude to survive it, if you plan on being successful in poker.

So...tomorrow, at around noon, I will leave my beautiful wife...my baby Carley Grace...who has changed my whole world....and I go in pursuit of something that will simply make our lives more easy to live. My goal? Win enough to get us out of this rental house...and into our OWN home...big enough for Carley to grow into...an even bigger yard for our dogs to run free in. That's all I really want. Our own house. In Biloxi. And maybe someday move closer to Cheryl's family in North Alabama...so Carley can grow up surrounded by the amazing love of her family. Because I don't care where I live. It doesn't matter. Now...its just all for my family.

Monkey