Part 2: TJ Cloutier and Missing Prize Money

T.J. CLOUTIER and the BAD BEAT SPECIAL (s)

Now if you are like me, and any other REAL poker player worth a shit...you get pretty F&*(@#*$&( 'in tired of hearing bad beat stories. So with that in mind, I will tell you this; this is a bad beat story that appeals to, well....everyone! Not just poker players. Actually there are three of them. TJ arrives with a pretty normal sized stack. It would not remain very normal.

Play #1. Now before I tell you this...let me tell you THIS. I have had a lot of opportunities to play with Mr. Degenerate. Im sorry, I meant to say...Mr. Cloutier. That slipped out. Back in last years 10K Main Event at the Beau Rivage (back when they still welcomed Senor Monkey in their beautiful establishment that I miss so much) I had the displeasure of having TJ and Captain Nightmare (Tom Franklin) at my table, sitting next to one another and raising my BB mercilessly.

So I have gained some insight into how the stylish (he of the Docker Slacks, 'never should be tucked in polo shirt', and tennis shoes) Mr. Cloutier plays in tourneys. In this hand, a fairly tight player raises in early position....blinds were 300/600...the guy made it 2500. TJ, that buzzard...makes it 10,000 to go. That's right. 10K. Well, our other favorite player....a guy I will call, simply...THE IDIOT...who has been Re-popping raise/re-raisers with stuff like 44/66/KQ....all game (TJ wasn't around for all that business) decides to move all in....for 80K. First guy folds immediately...guessing AQ/AJ probably. TJ thinks for about 2 seconds and folds. Well done TJ.

Play #2. A guy from Sweden, who I would get to know pretty well last night when a bunch of us went to this club (discoteq as they like to call it down there) last night...a guy who Gavin Smith had given the nickname of LITTLE SPEEDY GUY on Day 1 due to his ability to weave in and out of traffic very quickly on the way to the bathroom....would limp under the gun for 800. (he is sporting KK) Our boy "The Idiot" has made it 2500. One person calls. Then it comes to TJ. He calls the 2500. Back to TheSpeedySweden. He has 18,000 chips and in a play that I simply hated...HE SHOVES. I think all of us good players would have made a raise right there to about 7500.

Let everyone know JUST how screwed they were, unless of course the IDIOT happened to have AA (not likely). That way...if ANYONE does call (like a retard) and the flop comes like it did.....all rags... he is first to act....moves all in for 11K...they all fold. But....he moves in...and I have no freaking idea just what TJ is smoking, but he doesn't share..he keeps it all to himself...hems, haws, decides...."ah what the hell, I'll gamble with ya!" And calls off 75% of his stack with 55. He goes runner runner for a straight. Speedy is out. I went over and consoled him, gave him my advice on how he should have played it. He agreed. We kind of became buddies. Felt bad for him. But he DID misplay the hand. Cost him the tourney.

Play #3. The worst beat of the week. I met a bunch of guys from Atlanta...actually shuttled in with a guy, Phillip Jones...who is an absolute loon. Sober he is funny. Drunk he is funny as hell....but then gets too drunk, and turns...well, stupid. Still like him though. And he had a group of ten guys down there with him. We all decided to go to this club on Friday night, a place called Imagine. Its about 15 minutes from our resort. It is a CAVE..literally. You go under ground...and there are all these tunnels and everything. Very cool. Well, before we left, we floundered around the casino trying to round everyone up. I worked in a quick (32 minutes) cash session that would produce the most exciting moment of my trip (and biggest cash game pot =$650) more on that later.

I am standing around talking to Lee Child and Rick Fuller when over comes this guy Mike and I catch him saying "Yeah I might need to grab some more cash cuz I just loaned TJ $350." WHAT? What did you just say dude? Did I hear you correctly? About the same time....Rick and Lee start laughing. I said "Bro, did you just loan TJ money?" He claimed they were 'friends' but I'm guessing its one of those 'he talks to me and makes me feel special and important sometimes' kind of friends. Not bashing this kid cuz he was actually a really nice guy. But it took me and the other guys to convince him that he might as well have just taken that money and dropped it off the highest cliff he could find...then jump off and try to catch all the money before he hits the ground...and still have time to pull his parachute. Bad Beat....

More on TJ. I know that Squirrel hates it when I bash people on this blog. But some people just deserve it. TJ is an asshole. A straight up asshole. He thinks he knows it all. He wants everyone to know that he knows it all. When there is a dispute...he usually isnt even in the hand...and he wants to condescending break the whole thing down. He is mean to dealers. He is mean to the floor. He's loud. (a lot of you are going "wow Monkey, sounds just like YOU!" ) And his worst quality is that he is a degenerate bum. He will borrow money from ANYONE and EVERYONE..and if they get paid back they are lucky. He borrowed money from that kid...and I see him right there at the craps table. Five minutes later he is at the cage trying to get a marker.

.....picking up where I left off from here, and really feeling the pain, because there was some admittedly really funny shit that got zapped!

This business about TJ? Look...I know I have my own problems, my own issues to face. I might be a little manic/depressive. I might get a little over-emotional. I might hold grudges a little too long. However, one thing I am not...is a degenerate. When I win money, I park that money in a safe place. When I am running bad, I take it home. I get on line, grind a little there. You will never see me borrowing money from another player...then walking down and plunking it down on a craps table...or blackjack, or roulette, or a slot machine.

Talk about disrespectful. Have some freaking pride. TJ wants everyone to think he is the BIGSHOT, World Famous poker player...but he carries himself like a bum. I'm just glad the guy isnt related to me...I would probably have to quit poker.

I think this is where I shifted back to my Day Two action. So, back at my table I am seeing very few playable hands and slowly running out of chips. Karen and Mark continue going at each other. He raises her BB, she gives him this look, re-raises him and gives him this 'Yeah, that's right buddy!' look. I wonder about their sex life. I am gonna guess here that they dont get it on very often. But when they do, I am gonna go out on a limb and predict that its in that category of 'grudge fucks,' whereby they both come out of it feeling like they won.

I am folding a lot of hands that, had I played them...would have won. Don't you HATE that? ITs the worst, because you are sitting there dreaming/fantasizing about how many chips you would have had, were you a donkey. The blinds get to 600/1200 and I am sitting on 6500 chips. I pick up pocket threes and move it all in. I hide under the table. I hear Chip Jett tell me "your safe, monkey" and I come back up from hiding and drag a nice little pot. A few hands later I get KQ suited and pull the same stunt. TJ mumbles "all these guys have their different brand of bullshit!" but no one calls again.

Up to about 13K now and making a small charge. But the average stack is around 48k. I really need a courtesy double up here pretty soon. I think I am about to get it too. Sitting in middle position I pick up AQh. Nice. I have enough chips now that I can just raise. I make it 3600 to go. Folds to Super Lungs in the big blind. She looks down at something (stop it!) attractive and makes the call. Hmmm. The flop comes Q high. Sweet! She bets 4000. I move all in. She insta-calls and turns over Q-10. Hmmm..okay, I can see her calling that preflop, that is pretty much in her range. We never feel safe in that situation though do we? Not with two cards coming...and when the 10 of spades hits the river...I tell her "nice hand" and leave the table. So instead of doubling up to 29K...i am out. DAMMIT.

MISSING PRIZE MONEY, or is it just a MISALLOCATION!!!???

There was still something to look forward to. And this time, I KNEW that it started at 10am the following day. Now...this tournament was supposed to be capped at 250 players. When I was contacted back in September about it, I was told..."we have sold 232 seats already...there are only about 18 seats left." This, I would come to find out...was a total lie. Me and several other players were told the same thing. We all felt irritated by this.

Because how many ended up playing this event? 222. And we all know that 28 players didn't cancel. Well, the prizes were based on 150 players. So they told us that for every 50 extra players that joined, an additional SEAT ($10k Main Event entry) would be added to the prize pool in the Main tourney as well as the 2nd chance tourney. Well, me and another couple of 'campers' decided to do some math to figure out just where all this money was going. Cost for the camp was $4500. Unless you were alumni, then it was $4000.

And I am guessing all or most of the Dais-featured pros were given a freeroll for the event. We were informed that $3300 of the $4500 was directly applied to the tourney pool. So the lodging was around $900 for the week, which sounds about right. So, out of 222 players, lets subtract about 22 of those as being 'freerollers' leaving us with 200 paying $3300. That adds up to $660,000 in the prize pool. Based on the payout structure they announced for both tourneys...if they added ONE $10,000 seat to each event...it brings the total awarded to $232,000 in total prize value. That's it. Which leaves one wondering...where in the hell did the other $438,000 go to?

That is almost HALF A MILLION DOLLARS going into SOMEONES pocket! Hey, I am ALL ABOUT putting on a good show and making a little money...but TWICE what the players are making? That's just about criminal. And if you want to tell me, 'hey man...they had to bring down their staff, and instructors, and dealers..." I will tell you....THAT IS A BUNCH OF BULL! The instructors? Those are the players, who I am already told by more than one of them, get to come down for free and play in the tourney. That is their reward...getting a chance to secure (10) buyins for 10K events. No more money is paid to them. Staff? They had like three or four of them there. And Matt Savage was the tourney director. The dealers? This is the biggest joke of all.