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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Special Announcement...Monkey 'Busts' out!

That's right! I've been teasing you guys for a couple of months...dangling the carrot in front of you ever so teasingly. Well...I decided that I would forgo waiting on the new year to arrive and let the cat out of the bag early.

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of sitting next to Jeff Griffith in a poker tourney somewhere. It was established that I was good friends with Chad Brown. Well it just so happens that Jeff is the mind behind Bustout Poker apparel, which had just agreed to a deal with Chad where he represents them and wears their gear.

Gear. Poker gear. An interesting subject. We have seen a lot of new lines of 'poker related' items popping up the past couple of years. A handful of them travel to the poker tourneys and set up shop with the hopes of attracting customers. Seems like a pretty good place to set up shop, right?

Last fall, I was approached by a guy from a line called Ksino. They had just signed Lacy Jones to be their big 'face' to represent them. Well, he was impressed with my resume, and their clothes were kind of up my alley. I thought we had worked out a pretty decent arrangement...but things kind of fell apart. He sent me a box of clothing to wear...none of it fit. I sent it back to him...and he forgot to send me more. I tried to follow up with him...but I don't know what happened. Honestly, I think the guy's head and heart were in the right place, I think he might have just been a bit disorganized. He was a nice guy...and its too bad it didn't work out, but I think (and hope) that it was all for a good reason that it didn't work out.

I got to know Jeff pretty well, and Jeff's wonderful wife Nikki...and they have been very supportive of my efforts this fall, following me in my various runs. I wore their shirts and hats in a couple of events...(a) because I think they are pretty sharp...and (b) because they gave them to me for free and felt like it was the least I could do to show them my appreciation.

Well, Jeff has made me a full fledged member of Team Bustout...joining some pretty accomplished players like Chad Brown and Lee Childs. It's not anything that is going to make me rich and be able to quit poker...for sure. But that's not my motivation for jumping on board with Jeff and his Bustout Poker. The fact of the matter is...I really like their stuff...and I really like the people behind it. Pretty simple. And since I already dress in clothes similar to what they are selling, its not like I will have to change my look very much. I would never wear something for a commission if I didn't feel good wearing it.

So...here is where you guys all come in. I am pretty sure I am the ONLY one on Team Bustout who is able to offer you this deal...so pay attention! Just kidding. Its not a real tough one to remember. If you go to the website...and see something, or MANY things that you like...and decide to purchase something...you will see a BOX that says COUPON CODE. If you are sneaky enough to type in the word 'MONKEY' you will be recieving a 15% discount on whatever you buy.

I guess if I was a true salesman with half a marketing brain, I would have come out with this announcement BEFORE Christmas, right? Well...no one ever confused me for being a marketing genius!!!

You will see me at the Beau Rivage...and I hope to be sporting some of the gear from the store. We are having a couple of sizing issues because me and my fat GUT are having some problems getting into some of the stuff! So yeah...I guess WE aren't having sizing issues...I guess I am having sizing issues!!! I think Jeff and Nikki will be setting up a sales outlet at the event up in Tunica next month and into February...if you are up there and see something you like, simply tell them you would like the 'Monkey Discount' and they will accomodate you!

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I decided to make a night out of playing on Full Tilt Poker. Ouch. I didn't cash. Not once. I didn't think it was possible to run worse anywhere more than I run bad on Pokerstars. Pffft. Wrong! And some of the shit I was watching happen on there...its a good thing I wasnt in for more than $20 on the buy ins, I would have lost my mind. Guys raising UTG...another guy re-raises...and then someone named MONKEY re-raising significantly with KK....and getting SMOOTH called by the big blind...AND the other two! Flop comes out Q-J-4. Rainbow. Seems like a good flop. Big BLind shoves all in. Other two fold. I call. He has...ya ready? J-5. Suited! Of course. Turn? 5. River? 3. I'm out. That was probably my favorite 'shoot someone in the face' moment tonight.

Of course, there were more. I just don't get it. I don't understand how ANYONE runs good online unless they have a way of 'manipulating' the system. Because I have been at it for 7 years now...and nothing online ever changes. I don't just play good live and suddenly start playing like shit online. I go and defy the odds, and get deep in one of their big tourneys tonight...with a $24 buy in...and from 2035 players down to 400 or so, I get JJ and raise at cutoff. This clown who had been re-raising me every damn time I raised at cutoff does it again. I started the hand with 24k with the blinds at 300/600. He had 70k. I raised to 1800. He re-raises me to 5400. I was done fucking around with this jerk. I could have made it 12k I guess...but why? And leave half my stack behind. I shove. He snap calls with A10. Off suit. He turns a damn ace. Of course. Stupid.

Here is a scenario: I win a big poker tourney (live, of course) next year...for say, $4m. I decide to chill out, not play much anymore. Then...suddenly, I get some super fucked up disease that requires me to live in a bubble. Oh no. Awhile later, I get the urge back to play some poker. But I can only play ONLINE poker. I am pretty sure that within 3 months...I would be dead. In fact...I guarantee I would be dead.

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Minnesota just beat Philadelphia. Now, my partner who wanted to shoot himself on Sunday after changing his pick from Philly to San Diego can at least breathe easier knowing he would have lost anyway. Last week...when it looked like Joe Webb was going to start against Chicago...I guess I was in Atlantic City and some old dude at my table who looked like a buzzard, was talking about the game, trying to decide who to bet on. Joe Webb's name came up. Couple people were talking shit about him. I chimed in with this prophetic statement:

"I remember watching this Joe Webb guy in college, and in the preseason...and he is the nuts. Seriously, this guy is going to be very good...if given the chance to play."

I rest my case. Oh, and also...wait...oh no....here it comes.

I used to like Bob Costas...before he decided he was going to become the World Champion in Scrabble. Every time he gets behind the microphone, its like a contest to see how many big words he can string together to try and impress everyone with 'eloquence.' So ...oh never mind, it must have come at halftime, as they just signed off, thank god. Well, he does his little editorial rants...and as I listen to him babble, I want to puke all over the front of my TV...but I don't...but only because I love my 55' Samsung too much to ever do that. But if I ever see Costas in person, there is a very good chance I could be jamming a finger down my throat as I approach him!

Mike Vick...I think your MVP award just flew out the window and landed in Tom Brady's front yard; where it belongs anyway. If Vick goes down, Kevin Kolb is more than qualified to carry the load. If Brady goes down? Forget it! Patriots are toast. Which is one reason why Peyton Manning wins the MVP so much. That team is DEAD if Manning goes down. Brady has had a disgusting good season anyway, and just set an NFL record for most passes without an INT. Thats good for something. I am still sticking with my prediction that I made two weeks ago.

SUPER BOWL: New England vs. New Orleans. And yeah, I feel a lot better about that prediction after the Saints went into Atlanta last night and came out with a very hard-fought victory over a good Falcon team.

On an embarrassing note...I have to sit and root for my Seahawks to knock off the Rams at home this Sunday so we can backdoor out way into the playoffs as the first team in NFL history to win the division with a LOSING record! Yeah...win at home...over the Rams...to get to 7-9 and win the NFC West. Sick! I almost hope we lose. Except, I just got my customized Seahawk jersey in the mail with 'MONKEY' embroidered on the back...so who knows? Maybe they pull off some retardedly ridiculous run and give me a reason to wear it at the next event at the Beau!!!!

[and maybe Osama bin Laden shows up at the White House for a state dinner with the Obamas]

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I have two more special announcements coming within the next week or so. One involves a deal with an online poker site. The other involves a very good friend of mine who has finally gotten his custom design jewelry company off the ground and is asking me to help him out. Which I am gladly doing. I have added his logo to the front page already...and yes, you can click on it to see what he has to offer, but I will be talking about it a little bit more in a future blog post. My buddy, James Dunning...who we all call 'JD' is the famous JD of 'The JD Special' that I have mentioned many times at the poker table. Yes...that would be...Jack Nine suited! I knew he was working on this line for quite awhile, and Squirrel even decided to help him out and make a couple of purchases for Christmas, one for me and one for her...and they are really cool, and quite affordable. So I really hope JD does well with this...he has been really struggling the past couple of years...and to be able to help him out is a no-brainer for me!

I know I know...all I am doing is pimping stuff on here tonight, huh??? Well at least you voluntarily clicked on this and didn't have it show up in your email box!!!! Can't beat me up for Spamming your ass!

Oh! Good timing...I hear the garage door opening...and there go both dogs...like they have been shot out of a cannon!!! Squirrel is home early from work! Y'all have a good night!

Monkey

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