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Saturday, October 8, 2011

Monkey the Greek is back....

Okay, so the Phillies just lost 1-0 to the Cardinals in Game 5 of the Division Series..and their season is over. This, after the Brewers won Game 5 in extra innings. Some pretty exciting playoff baseball so far. Am I the only one who noticed that in all the crowd shots in Philly, not ONCE was there ever an attractive female shown? Wow...sure glad I didn't grow up in Philly. Wonder if Philly fans burn the city to the ground tonight. 102 wins. Best staff in baseball. 1st round exit. Along with the Yankees. So...MLB and their Dream WS won't happen. That's cool with me. My sister lives in Milwaukee and my good buddy and business partner, 'Banger' lives in Detroit...hence I shall root for a Tigers-Brewers World Series...which I might have to try and attend, since I will be up in Chicago next week.

This week has been nothing but a lot of running errands. I got my new mattress from BedsToGo Superstore in Houston. Yeah, it came from Fed Ex. Unboxed it. Cut it out of the vacuum packed wrapper...and watched as it slowly grew into a huge king size memory foam mattress. We gave the old one to one of Squirrel's friends...and as of Tuesday, we have been sleeping like champs. There is nothing like a good night of sleep. Wow, what a difference a new mattress made.

I haven't played any poker. Not online. Not live. None. It's been good for me. I want to go to Chicago/Hammond with a nice, fresh outlook on things. And no recent memories of bad beats or suckouts rolling around in my mind. I'm excited to get up there, I really feel like my year is about to turn around...and I'm going to finish up strong. I'm thinking three more poker trips, maybe four...and then go into the Christmas holidays, hopefully with some peace of mind and financial stability.

I would like to say I am very disappointed in the direction that two shows are going in...that I have been forced to watch because it's what the wife forces me to watch. First, Dancing With The Stars. Kristen Cavallari, who got basically left at the alter by Jay Cutler this summer, took a bigger shot to the grille this week when she got voted off in just the 3rd week. Okay, for starters, I'm not a big 'fan' of Kristen the 'gold-digger' which is what I think she was, judging by her handling of her engagement...Cutler was freaked out by how many places she registered them with...it was like she was on a freaking treasure hunt. And when it comes to the label of 'actress?' Wow...she has been an actress on a reality show. Which, is that even really considered acting? After all..aren't they basically playing themselves? Do you consider those assbandits on 'Jersey Shore' to be 'actors?' I sure as hell don't.

Well, all that aside, I think the label of 'CELEBRITY' has become awfully skewed in the past few years. I mean...what does it take to be deemed a celebrity? Or...a 'STAR?' I mean...okay, celebrity...I think you could be a lot of things and be considered a celebrity. But a damn STAR? I mean...a star is a star, isn't it? How is Chaz Bono a 'star?' How is Hope 'ManGirl' Solo a 'star?' She is best known for being put on the bench in the World Cup final vs. Brazil, bitching at her coach, and getting sent home. Oh...and this week, in a freakishly non-sexy pose, is the cover girl on ESPN the Magazine's 'Body' issue. That Kardashian brother? Star? Huh? That model who used to date George Clooney, who was sent packing last week? Star? It's ridiculous.

And what's more ridiculous, is that Kristen, who was actually very pretty, had nice lines that you look for from a dancer, and had made a lot of improvement, and in my opinion, was one of the Top 3 dancers...gets dumped? While Chaz...who has been dragging his/her tired, overweight, beat up body all over the stage for a month. Over Nancy Grace...who is like watching a pro dancer dragging around a sack of flour...smiling sack of flour. You know when those stupid shows will be good again? When they stop allowing people to decide who stays and who goes with call in votes. Because now its just become a contest on who can win which demographic of voters. The real fight will be between Carson and Chaz...as they vote for the gay/lesbian demographic. Then you have all the overweight people who will be rooting and voting/calling in for the Nancy Grace/Ricky Lake's of the contest. I'm done with that show. 

Next up on my chopping block? Oh speaking of chopping block...wow! How about NBC...the rock bottom network right now, cancelling 'The Playboy Club' after THREE episodes! Holy schneikies! Who would have ever predicted that sex WOULDN'T sell!??? I tried to watch that snoozefest...on Hulu, and I can see why it was cancelled. It sucked. But next on my cutting board? X-FACTOR. Was enjoying the first couple of weeks. Then the drama started. The crying. The attitudes. Ugh.

I sit and watch as these fools cry and plead and explain that this is their 'whole life!' That nothing else matters. That if they fail, their life will be over. I wonder. One question. What does a guy sitting in a hospital bed, dying from cancer, or some ailment that has no cure...who might have a week, maybe a month...to live, hears these idiots, what goes through their mind? Do you think they might maybe want to punch them in the face? I would. I find it offensive. 

So they whittled their way down to the final 32. If you watch this show...then you will know what I am talking about when I ask this question:

How in the F*$# did Simone Battle make the cut? Miss "I'm fierce!" and her diva attitude, who went and conveniently forgot her lyrics after promising to dazzle the crowd, still got in? 

Tiah Tolliver? With the gigantic mouth? And the bright red lipstick that you could see from across the Atlantic? Those kernels of corn hanging from her gums that beg you to just pay her to NOT smile? I picture her turning tricks on the corner of Hollywood & Vine before I see her cutting an album. WTF!

Brian Bradley. 12 years old. Rapper. Absolute PUNK. Eye-rolling, arm-crossing, can't be bothered to help out with anything in a team element. Talented? Sure. Oh, he has told us that in 5 years he will be bigger than JayZ. Yes. He said this. I was almost sure the judges hated him as much or more than I did. Guess not. He got in.

And what would a competition be without a homeless guy who thinks he's James Brown reincarnated? Yup, Dexter Haygood, meet your new housemates. Wonder who gets robbed first? My wife feels they kept him around because they were afraid if they cut him he would go back out living on the streets. Yeah, seems like a great reason to keep a guy on a show where first place is a $5 million dollar record contract. 

And the groups? They are mostly a joke. Except for the one that includes my favorite, Cari Fletcher...the little 16 year old hottie who reminds me of Carrie Underwood...who didn't get selected in the girls' group...but who was brought back to make up a judges-selected group to fill out the groups. Whatever. I'm glad she is still around. 

The show got worse. Not like I really gave a shit who each judge was going to live under the same roof with, and tutor. But wouldn't it have made the most sense to have Paula, a single artist, work with the girls group? Have Simon, who is old...and who's criticism is toxic to younger performers, work with the Over-30's group? Have Nicole Sherzinger, who was in a group! The PussyCat Skanks...I mean, Dolls....why not have her work with....oh! Here's a reach...GROUPS!??? And have L.A. Reid work with the Boys? Well, they got that one right.  Simon gets the girls, much to his perverted delight. Paula gets the groups. And Nicole gets the Over-30's who I'm sure she's certain to have zero chemistry with. Great decision there Fox Producers, or whoever is making the call on that brilliant move. 

Yup, I've lost interest now in that show. I still have no idea if that one moves into a phase where America decides who goes home every week, or if its up to the judges. Don't really care. I've pretty much decided that all of this shit is decided by internal politics anyway. And I hate politics. 

Lets get to my predictions...because I went to the gym tonight....and a long hot bath, now that this stupid Boise State game is clearly going to be going over the 58.5, is something I really need before spending all day tomorrow on the couch watching college football!!!

Lets start with my BASEBALL predictions:

I predicted the Yankees in 4. Wrong. Tigers in 5.
I predicted the Rangers in 5. Close enough. They won it in 4.
I predicted the Phillies in 4. Wrong. Cardinals in 5. Camouflage lives!
And I predicted the Brewers in 5. Dead on. I rule.

Next round Predictions!!!!

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Rangers vs. Tigers.  Home-field advantage is with Texas. They have always got a full park. And their fans are hungry after falling a game short of a World Series title last season. But Detroit is playing great. This should be an incredible series with a lot of runs scored. Detroit has Verlander set to pitch Game 1...which means you could see him 3 times in a 7-game series. Something tells me this is Detroit's year to get Jim Leyland back to the World Series. I like the Tigers in a thrilling 7-game series.



NATIONAL LEAGUE

Cardinals vs. Brewers.  The last time the Brew Crew won a playoff series, was in 1982 against the Angels. The team they advanced to meet in the World Series? The Cardinals. The Cardinals have something going for them that is under-appreciated. That damn Squirrel that keeps streaking on the field. I shall call it, the Magic Squirrel. I don't know if the Cardinals have a deep enough pitching staff to slow down Milwaukee's big bats. But St. Louis can mash as well. But something tells me...this is where St Louis' magic ends. I think the Brewers will win this one in 6 games. Maybe 7. 


Wow. Two minutes left in this game...and its stuck on 57. What are the odds that Boise State just runs out the clock? That would sure be nice.

Lets move on to my college predictions on all the TOP TEN games tomorrow.


My #1 Alabama. At home vs. Vandy. Homecoming. 28.5 pt favorite. Huge spread. Vandy has played pretty well this year. Bama has too. I don't think Bama will be taking a lot of plays off the rest of this season. And their 2nd and 3rd units are almost as good as most team's starters. So when they pull off the dogs with a 4-score lead...there isn't a lot of falloff in talent. But that is a big spread. I obviously think 'Bama will win, the only question is by how much? I like Bama 42-10. Final Score Bama 34-0. Call that a win.

My #2. Wisconsin gets the weekend off to go watch the Brewers and Green Bay. Have fun guys.

My #3. Oklahoma, in one of the big matchups of the weekend, taking on rival Texas. Texas has made a nice comeback from the ashes of last year's 5-7 mark. They are ranked 11th, and come in as 8.5 pt underdogs. It might be close in the first half...based on the rivalry. But Oklahoma is too good, they win by two TD's or more. I like the Sooners, 36-21.
Final Score: Oklahoma 55-17. Texas still sucks.

My #4. LSU...who is only a 10pt favorite at home against Florida? Why? Florida lost their starting QB last week. They have shown that their run can be shut down...and LSU has a great defense. I think if I'm a betting man, I bet the house, the car...and maybe my kids on the Tigers in this game.  LSU 45-17. Final Score: LSU 41-11. Doesn't get much closer to that prediction!

My #5. Ha! Just realized I already made predictions for this weeks games! And in looking back, my final score predictions are pretty close, so I see not much has changed in the past six days, at least in my mind!!! for the predictions of the other top ten teams' games....just scroll down to the last blog!

Lets move on to the NFL. Last week I was a very impressive 11-5! Okay, so I didn't cover the spread with all of my winners. Whatever! A win is a win is a win! Especially in the NFL! Lets make this quick. I am now on tilt after Boise State, who looked content to show some class and just run out the clock, put in their smart ass backup QB...who decided to get cute and run some goofy option play on 4th and 9 from the 25 with only 24 seconds left...for a touchdown, covering the over of 58.5. Boise State now has a special place in my evil heart.  Please do go and scroll down, because I correctly predicted each and every game...some nearly dead on. The GREEK is IN the House!!!!

NFL PREDICTIONS:

Game 1. Seattle at NYG. Who the hell knows what team will show up on Sunday? For either team. I am still holding out hope that my Seachickens can tank the rest of the season and get Andrew Luck in the draft. But I'm sure they will screw that up too. Besides, KC and/or Indy kind of look like shoo-ins. I picked Atlanta last week hoping it would work as a reverse curse thing and give the Birds the win. It almost did. Field Goal to win? No good.  This week? I will pick Seattle...to cover the ten. And lose another close one. NYG 24-21.  Seattle wins 36-25.  WINNER

Game 2.  Eagles at Bills. How did Buffalo lose to Cincy? How did the Eagles lose a massive lead, at home, to the 49'ers? The NFL is as hard to figure out as high school trig was for me. The Dream Team looks great at 1-3. After this one...they will head back to Philly, if its still there after tonight's Phillies loss...with a record of 1-4 and bomb threats at club headquarters.  Buffalo 31-23.  Bills win 31-24. Yeah, you heard me!  WINNER

Game 3.  Chiefs at Colts. Remember when this game would get people excited? Oh...people are still excited. GM's, Player Personnel managers. Maybe some peanut vendors. The only thing worse is those poor fans who are in the NFL-mandated viewing area and are forced to watch this piece of crap. Who wins? Ugh...gee...well, for shits and giggles I will pick Indy to finally win a game. Colts 17-13.  Was looking good, then KC came back. KC wins 28-24. LOSER

Game 4.  Cardinals at Vikings. Another thriller matching a 1-3 road team against an 0-4 home team. I honestly think that if Minnesota loses this game, you could see a riot in Minneapolis. I think maybe Minny puts it all together this week, and Adrian Peterson scores me about 40 pts for my fantasy team! Vikings 34-21.  Called that one, only it was worse than I predicted (or better) Minnesota 34-10.  WINNER

Game 5.  Titans at Steelers. Tennessee is a surprising 3-1..behind the inspired play of one of my favorites, QB Matt Hasselbeck. They lost Kenny Britt, and Chris Johnson finally gained 100 yards last week. But I think Pittsburgh is pissssssed at being 2-2 right now. They are at home. They have a lot to gain with a win and a lot to lose with a loss. I don't see the Steelers losing this one. Steel Curtain wins 28-14.  Pittsburgh 38-17. Another WINNER

Game 6.  Saints at Panthers.  3 and 1 versus 1 and 3. And it could easily be the other way around. Brees looks great. The Saints defense looks pretty porous. They better be careful, Cam Newton is no joke. I suspect Coach Peyton has a nice little game plan drawn up to slow him down. We shall see. This could be an upset special. But I will still pick the Saints in a high scoring affair. N.O. 42-35. Pretty much nailed this one too. Almost an upset but Saints pulled it out 30-27.  WINNER

Game 7.  Bengals at the Jaguars. Keep a close eye on this one. If the Bengals come in and blow out the Jag's, I think you could possibly see a coaching change in Jacksonville. The Jag's ownership is delusional, in thinking they have a playoff caliber team. They don't. And if Jack Del Rio gets canned, he will quickly land with another team. He's a solid head coach. That being said...the Bengals are a joke. Pick 'em to win, they lose. Pick em to lose, they win. This week, I will pick them to tie! Just kidding, Jacksonville gets a huge day from Maurice Drew-Jones and wins 27-17.
Cinncy surges late, beats the JAG's 30-20.  LOSER

Game 8.  Raiders at Texans. Like scoring? You should enjoy this game. With Andre Johnson out...watch Ariann Foster and Ben Tate go nuts. And on the other side, Darren McFadden is showing why he was a #1 pick a couple years ago, finally. If Oakland wasn't owned by Al Davis, I might actually think of them as a playoff hopeful. Texans win at home....and score more than they did vs. Pitt last week. HOUSTON 31-21. I made this prediction BEFORE Al Davis checked out. Had I known that, I probably pick the Raiders in an Al Davis' Angel-inspired win. So I am declaring a disclaimer on this loss.  OAKLAND 25-20.  LOSER

Game 9.  Buccs at 49'er. Both teams are 3-1. Which is shocking considering how poorly they have both played. One of them will be feeling pretty good on Sunday night at 4-1 and in first place. I was calling for SF to fire Mike Singletary last year after the 2nd game. The guy was a psycho, and not in a good way. Jim Harbaugh was a great hire...and I think he has SF believing in itself, and might be on its way to being a good organization again. They will shut down the Buc's and win this one 21-10. They shut down the Bucs alright...holy shit.  49'ers crush. 48-3  WINNER

Game 10.  San Diego at Denver. The Broncos are just chomping at the bit to break out with a big win. They are 1-3 but clearly are not that bad. Everyone is chirping for Tebow to get playing time...but the truth is, Kyle Orton has been pretty good. I think this might be the week they break through. I like the Broncos to upset the Chargers in this one. DENVER wins 28-24. Almost nailed the score, and almost called the upset. Close, but no cigar.  San Diego wins 29-24.  LOSER

Game 11.  NY Jets at NE Patriots.  New England is favored by 9. These teams hate each other's guts. I hate the Jets. Can't stand their smug coach. I like the Patriots, like Brady. That to me is enough reasons to pick the Patriots to devour the Jets on their home field. I like NE to win 34-17. Another ridiculously close call on the score. PATS win 31-20.  WINNER.

Game 12.  Green Bay at Atlanta.  This should be a hell of a game. I think these teams are pretty evenly matched. And honestly feel this game is decided who commits the fewest turnovers. Atlanta seems to turn the ball over more, and for that reason, I will pick the World Champs to improve to 5-0. Packers 27-21. Just another ho-hum win for Monkey the Greek...as the Packers dominated the 4th quarter to win 25-14.  WINNER

That makes me 8-4 for the week heading into Monday Night. Coupled with last week's 11-5....I'm not 19-9 in two weeks. Unless you hate money, bet the farm on the Lions tomorrow night.

Game 13.  MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL...and oh no! There won't be an opening featuring America's Favorite Redneck, Hank Williams Jr. Boy am I sick of hearing about that ridiculous controversy. The Detroit Lions are 4-0...through the use of a little talent, a little luck, and some smoke and mirrors. For those keeping score at home...I STILL hate the Dallas Cowboys more than cancer and AIDS combined!!! The Chicago Bears...they are another team who can't figure out who or what they want to be this season. I'll tell ya one thing their gonna be on Tuesday morning...2-3. Detroit is NEVER on Monday Night Football, and that town is going to be FIRED UP! I like the Lions to win big....35-16.  FINAL: Lions win 24-13. Another WIN.
End the week with 9 wins and 4 losses.

And there you have it...my awesome predictions for this weekend. I have purchased a new game console for the bedroom...XBox360, with 250 GB...which is far superior to my 4GB midget that lives in the living room. Also purchased Gears of War 3, along with Rage...which sports some amazing graphics. There will be some gaming taking place up in this muther this weekend. 

Have a nice weekend.

MONKEY

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