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Friday, July 20, 2012

Enjoy Your Free Advertising DogTrack Poker Room

Hi friends. It's Friday. My 4Runner is in Pensacola getting fixed. The last time it was there (last year) it cost me $2400 for them to figure out what was wrong with it. A simple wiring issue. While doing the repair work they destroyed the dash. Attempts to cover their damage resulted in a half-assed cosmetic job that ended up gooping up when it got hot, which...when you live in the the south, is about every day. So they agreed to replace the whole dash ($1800)...except that I had to pay for half the labor. $350. I guess I'm supposed to be happy. Whatever. It's done...and I'll be glad to get it back. Especially since me, Squirrel and Carley are going to see our nephew Dylan play baseball in Auburn, for his All-Star baseball team. If anyone is thinking about coming by to rob me...there is nothing in the house worth stealing. Just giving you a heads up. :)

I've decided who I am endorsing for President. Don't think it didn't come without a little bit of hesitation. To be honest, I think Obama is the 'hipper' of the two...and acts a lot more smooth. Romney is one of the biggest cheeseballs I've seen in a long time. As a kid...if I went to spend the night at a friends house, and Romney was the Dad...I would probably stop being friends with that kid. He's just a bit of a dork. That being said...I feel like the past four years in office have been one big party for Barack and Michelle. One that us taxpayers have been picking up the tab for. It's disgusting. One elbow-rubbing dinner with celebrities after another. Air Force One has become Barry's limousine to scoot all over the world to make sure he never misses out on anything fun and exciting. I have heard one account after another about what a bitch Michelle is, and how bad she treats her 'help' at the White House. I swear, I wanted to like these two four years ago. I thought Michelle was pretty, thought Barack was a pretty 'cool dude.' 

But the luster has long since worn off. Sure the stories I hear may be just rumors. But common sense and experience on this planet tell me that where there is smoke...its usually very hot at the core. I just feel like everytime I see our President on TV is speaking down to us. His smug, condescending way of speaking (which wasn't present pre-2008) to us is nauseating. When he takes the stage somewhere, its as though he wants everyone to know how lucky they are to be in his presence. And what has he done to 'change' our nation the past 4 years? Get us deeper in debt? Make zero progress with our military? Continue to lose jobs? It seems like the central focus of his presidency has been raising money so he can be re-elected. I don't know how in the hell I got on their email list in the first place...but I get about 2 or 3 emails a day from him and his campaign lemmings, trumpeting all the reasons why I should send them a donation. I've even asked to be removed from their mailers...but they still continue to pour in. 

I hate this time of year. I really do. All the back and forth, character-slamming campaign commercials. They're just stupid. I'd like to walk into a room full of the assholes who sit around and dream them up and drop 21 bags of burning dog shit in the room, then back out of the room and padlock the door. I'm not sure what that would accomplish...but it would sure be funny as hell!

People keep trying to make such a big deal about Romney and his personal fortune. That he's hiding financial records. WHO THE HELL CARES? Seriously? How many presidential candidates have we had that weren't wealthy? And in America...nobody gets wealthy without some shady accounting. Tax loopholes are the American way. What I'm more interested in, is that the guy worked as Massachusetts Governor for 4 years and never took a salary. Think Barack would do that? Hell no. I get the impression that Romney has had his fun already. He has traveled the world with Ann. He has made plenty of money. I really think he wants to be President because he wants to get this country back on track. And if I'm wrong...so be it. I just can't stomach another 4 years of that slick, BS-talking Barack with all his rhetoric and talk of change that never happens.

If Romney gets elected, there isn't a doubt in my mind that he will be a lot of fun to clown. There will be a lot of jokes. He is the consummate tool. I just don't think we will ever have a 'cool ass' President who is also a good President. So I will take my chances on the dork. I mean...if Bill Gates, in all his Dweeb-dom can ascend to richest man in the world by building a computer empire...well, see my point? While we were all busy playing sports, dating the hot cheerleader, and going to all the cool parties, there were those dorks at home studying, or in their science lab...getting smart, and prepared to run the world. Hey, I have no regrets. I defer to those guys. So...Mitt...you have my support...go bury that Democratic Socialist. PS: I have a secret strategy for the Mitt Romney campaign that could turn the election. Wait...this might be taken the wrong way. It involves all-you-can-eat-and-drink offers the Monday before election day. Yeah...I'll let you finish that one on your own.

On to the topic of this blog post. Ever notice how I always seem to fail to address my subject line until I get deep into the blog post? Sorry about that.

I have played at the Pensacola Dog Track's Poker Room a grand total of...I think, 5 times. During this time, I have had 3 winning cash sessions, and won a tournament. So its safe to say I have been profitable there. I also have about 10 (possible more) dealers over there who I am very fond of...that used to deal in other casinos. We continue to trade comments on Facebook. I am happy to see that they finally replaced that beat up old sign out on the road leading into the Dogtrack. They have also made improvements to the poker room itself.

During a trip there this summer, I made mention to the horrendous amount of juice taken off the top in a tournament I played in, and subsequently won. I didn't bitch too hard about it, just pointed it out. I'm pretty familiar with dog track poker rooms and small Indian reservation poker rooms that take an exorbitant amount of juice in their poker rooms. The bottom line is, they tend to be the only game in their area, and probably get whatever they can. I mean, we ARE a supply and demand society...and the aim of any capitalist driven entity is to get as much as you can from your consumers, correct? So from that standpoint...it makes perfectly good sense. In defense of PDT or PPR...or whatever three-letter initials they are calling themselves, I did happen to explain that the reason for their crazy 30%-plus juice was in direct relation to the freeroll tourneys they hold every month and once a year for their players that qualify through a point system. They build that prize pool by taking it out of the player-generated prize pools in other tourneys. 

Now, this is certainly their prerogative. Granted, most of your casinos tend to run these freeroll tourneys with prize money that comes from various sources. Partially from players in previous tourneys. But also from the casino itself...so that it is a mutually funded freeroll. This way you don't see the daily tourney's prize pool being butchered the way theirs is. And its not such a big deal if you live over there...and are pretty sure you will qualify to play in the End-of-the-Month cash grab. But if you don't...like me for example...its irritating. I got my phone call from PDTPR while I was literally sitting in my seat on Day 2 of the Main Event in Vegas...telling me I had qualified for their end of the month freeroll tourney, a tourney that was being held that weekend. Yeah, can't make it, but thanks.

The only other thing I've vented about on here regarding the Dog Track Poker Room...is the mind-boggling style of play over there. It is one of those things that you hear about...but still can't believe it after you have sat through a few hours of play. I used to be very vocal about how people played...making my opinions well-known while sitting at the table. Now...don't get me wrong. This isn't one of those conversations that end with one of the old-school players handing out that standard advice: "Hey dummy....shut up, don't tap the glass! Don't make fun of the bad players...you just run them off...and kill our cash cow!"

No! We all get THAT one. These aren't players who are 'going to be run off' for one thing. They come...they bring their money...and they KNOW they play like insane maniacs. It's not a secret. They play hands no one else would dare play against a 4-bet re-raise. They make calls with bottom pair when they just KNOW you have been betting on every street of a rag board with AK. (sometimes correctly, most times not) These are people who you aren't prepared to match wits with...because they don't possess any. Its just pure and simple a contest of what they can get away with. Its...for lack of a better description...a freak show. Which is one of the main reasons I label my victory over there in that tourney as my most IMPRESSIVE victory EVER...ANYWHERE. I can get through a field of 6,598 players who exhibit the highest degree of skill with not too much difficulty. But getting through a field of 75-100 of what comes out to play at the Dogtrack? You need supreme abilities that aren't related to poker. Night vision goggles. Chinese throwing stars. Ninja fighting sticks. Those are all tools that would be a lot more useful than the ability to place a well-timed bluff.

So...a little birdie tells me the other day...that I need to be prepared. That the next time I wander into the Pensacola Dog Track Poker Room...that someone from there is going to ask me to leave. Citing as their reason: "If he has such a problem with us, he doesn't need to play here." Oh boy...this again? Gentleman of the Dog Track. First of all...in lieu of losing my mind at the table...this is where I release. This is a blog. A written blog. Where I share my thoughts and ideas. No one is FORCED to read my blog. Nor should my constitutional right to write and share my thoughts and views be used against me in a persecuting manner. See...the things I write about on her? They are being spoken by MANY MANY other people. But because my thoughts appear in a place that gets an average of (at last check) 5,586 hits per month, you see me as the guy you need to TARGET? Is your skin really THAT thin? The whole 'we'll show him' thing is really kind of childish, don't you think?

Before I reveal to you just how much I am actually DOING for you...let me remind you of something. You are a dog track. Threatening to 'kick me out' of your poker room? It's right up there with one of the 14,348 Waffle Houses telling me I can't eat at their Waffle House because they don't like that I sassed the cook for not making my hash browns crispy enough. I'm not sure my life will ever be the same. Keep in mind, I live in a town that HAS several casinos in it...with more on the way. The only time I actually play at your venue, is when I just happen to be in Pensacola to check on my rental house. 

Now...let me point out for you what I am doing for you. Are you familiar with the expression: 'Any publicity is GOOD publicity?' Its very true. Do you hear any other poker players talking in print about your poker room? Doubtful. I have nearly turned the Pensacola Dog Track Poker Room into a living legend with my many tales about the 'Chucks' of the place and the dealer with the Iron Fist. People who would never even think about playing at your place have told me they ventured there simply out of curiosity after reading about it in my blog. Do you not grasp the concept of wanting people to be talking about you? Creating interest is tantamount to being successful. How many horrible commercials or TV shows do you see that, despite them being horrible, EVERYONE talks about? Now...don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you a horrible poker room. I actually think you have a pretty good thing going over there. You have good dealers. For the most part. Most of your floor supervisors appear to 'get it' and are reasonable with their rulings.  And I think you have been good for the community over there. Those are called RINGING ENDORSEMENTS from the Monkey. Okay? So calm down. 

Just because I write occasionally about a few things I observe, or some players that I find comical...these aren't things that should cause you to get your fur up. Nope...these are just the makings of a poker room with character and flavor. You DO want to have character and flavor, right? Well...then let me work my magic. You and I will work together! Not battle each other. How silly. I will make my 3 or 4 annual appearances a year, give you guys a fun story on here in exchange for my experience, thus bringing out the curiosity seekers and simply adding to your legacy. Actually...since I found a place about halfway between Biloxi and Pensacola...at some exit in a town called Wilcox, that has the most amazing Liver and Onions ever...I might have to increase my visits to your place!

Oh...and speaking of food??? If you go to the Dogtrack on Friday or Saturday night? They have a special menu. And I'm not going to lie...the first time I ate there, I had a pork tenderloin that was incredible. Of course, the next time...I was going to order it again, but they weren't featuring it that night. I had a NY Strip instead. It was also great. And the price was right. And if I need to mention one more great thing about the Dogtrack...and oh, for the record, as I just tried to click/save/paste a logo for the Dogtrack...but failed, as it wouldn't save as an image, I am pleased to present you with their official name. PENSACOLA GREYHOUND TRACK and POKER ROOM. If you would like to check out their website...click on the all cap title back there.  Sorry, another sidetrack there by Captain Sidebar. The other thing I must mention is their massage girls. CHEAP, by industry standards...at merely a buck a minute, whereas most of the places we play are $2 a minute. And they are good. 

So there you go 'Guys at the Dogtrack.' I am not thy enemy. I will be there again. When? No idea. Could be awhile. But if you send someone over to 'run me' off...well, you will only be hurting yourself. But something tells me this was just a 'little misunderstanding' and we are all good now. Yeah? Hope so. And memo to Ebro Dog Track...please do NOT be lobbying for me to come visit your poker room. Trying to create a legend on the coast is tough work!

Have a nice weekend folks. Squirrel should be home from work any second...time to head to Pensacola and pick up my car...now with properly functioning AC, a fresh oil change and rotation, and a brand new dashboard!

Monkey



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Monkey when you come to
Auburn try cafe 3810 best keep secret. It's in Opelika but 10 min from the ball fields. Meal with tea is about 8 bucks worth 20. If you don't like it send me your bill I'll pay for it. They are only open for lunch.