Choctaw Wrap Up Report...

A lot has happened this week. And last week. My favorite team lost a heart breaker in Atlanta. The Patriots knocked me out of all THREE Survivor Pools with their loss...throwing my dreams of a big post-Super Bowl financial windfall right out of the window. Two teams that I could care less about will meet in New Orleans. Oh I'm sure that Mr. and Mrs. Harbaugh are pretty excited, getting the matchup they were deprived of last year (barely). If you are looking for a Senor Monkey prediction on the game? I don't really have a heavy conviction either way...but if I have to root for either team, I guess it would be...oh hell, I really don't care. Ray Lewis retires with a ring. Or Randy Moss finally gets a ring. I just don't care enough about either one of them. I just hope I win a shit ton of Super Bowl Squares...of which I put on sale last week...and are already filling up at the usual pace. Two $100 boards, two $50 boards...and countless $25 boards. Last year was a down year for me on winning squares. I'm due!

The nation stopped to recognize the re-election of Barack...with an inauguration that just ironically occurred on the MLK holiday. I have decided to take a break from all the conspiratorial gibberish about Barack, about our secret government dealings, about the Sandy Hook hoax, and just decided, hell...if all this stuff is true, so be it. My fellow citizens are such lemmings and wussies anyway, that if our government DOES have a secret plot to take away all our guns, allow the US dollar to fail, and enslave us all...its going to happen whether we like it or not. (not that I'm suggesting anyone would LIKE any or all of that!) I decided I was dedicating too much attention caring about all this crap, and trying to get others to educate themselves to what is going on. Screw it. People are too busy...too wrapped up in their own personal bs to even lift a finger to do anything that would bring about change. (if we truly want to get everyone's attention...KILL the internet! Watch everyone freak out then!!!) So I will just crawl into the basket of lemmings and become one of them. 

Learned a few things. Sonic has a sandwich that is served in Oklahoma but not in Mississippi...maybe the greatest sandwich ever. The Chicken Fried Steak Sandwich. Incredible. A great place to buy Christmas gifts? A very unexpected treasure trove of goodies lives at the Loves Travel Stops...those massive truck stops that also cater to the casual road travelers. Discovered a few new programs on Hulu and watched every episode, most on my iPad while driving home. '1600 Penn' on NBC (I think). Pretty good. But only 3 episodes in. And 'The B in Apt 23' on ABC (again, I think)...which is two seasons I think. Hilarious show...almost painfully funny at times. As in, the kind of humor I know couldn't be watched in some of my family members' living rooms.

I have a decent amount of money on Lock Poker again. As in...anyone wanting to click my affiliate link over there on the right hand side...and get yourself 35% rakeback...if you have trouble getting money on there, I may be able to assist you in a PayPal transfer transaction. I have received news (unconfirmed) that the management at Lock is making strides to make the cashout process on there a lot more timely. I know this, because it was one of the conditions for Scott Clark and I continuing to do our Sunday podcast/radio show every week. We stated that we couldn't continue to represent the site and encourage our friends, fellow players, and listeners, to sign up to Lock Poker if some areas didn't improve dramatically, one of those areas being the time it takes to get paid out. I hope they have gotten it streamlined. Though I have almost NO time to get online and play because of my child-care responsibilities and the countless hours that go into running my pools....it would be nice to get on there for a couple of days dedicated to tourney play. 

I drove all the way to Oklahoma and BACK...that's about 1300 miles...without a single ticket or close call. I consider that good news. There is news out of the NBA that my Seattle Supersonics could be returning as early as next season...with the acquisition of the Sacramento Kings. I have mixed feelings about this. It was the worst feeling imaginable watching Clay Bennett steal our Sonics from us and move them to OKC. They let us keep our name and our schwag...with hopes of getting a team back in the future. But I think all Seattleites would rather get a fresh new expansion franchise than victimize another city by taking their team. The NBA team in New Orleans has officially dropped the name Hornets (which could re-emerge in Charlotte) and adopted the name 'Pelicans' which has already become the punchline for a lot of jokes. 

I logged on to this thing a couple nights before leaving Choctaw and saw the comment from the hater...seems like there is always one or two. And I'm certain from the writing style (or lack thereof) and words used that is always one of the same guys. This one was him 'wishing' on a blog lamenting my bad run and my longing to get home to my wife and cute kid (with tail tucked between legs amidst a cloud of misery) Like his life is so devoid of joy or satisfaction, that he has to sit here online and root for the failure of others. What a loser. Regardless of me running like God, and pocketing over $100k...or running like shit and losing $10k...or just winning enough to basically break even (like on this trip)...I am always...ALWAYS...just as excited to get home to my wife, my amazing daughter, and my awesome dogs. And to sleep in my comfortable bed. I like being at home. A don't like being away for very long. I'm sorry if that isn't good enough for you, Mr. Hater...who wants me to come on here and whine and cry about my bad luck, and my close calls, and the OMRG's who hunt me down and slay me. What's the point? I went, I saw, I returned. Why do you care if I made a ton of money or none at all? I wish, just once, I could meet this guy, or someone LIKE this guy...face-to-face, and listen to them talk. To hear their 'view of life' from their perspective. 

Any one sleep in a bed where that damn corner sheet...the one that hugs the mattress...keeps coming off? Ours was doing that...every damn time I slept in the bed. It was driving me nuts. So when I got home, I was informed that my mother had sent, for my early birthday present....750 count (I think that means they are really soft!) sheets and pillow cases for our bed. No more mattress hugging sheet peeling up on my side of the bed every night! And they are soft and delightful! There really is NO excuse to NOT have incredibly comfortable sheets on your bed...given how much of your life is spent in it...some of us more than others. I love sleeping! Thanks Mom!

I have grown sicker and sicker of American Idol in the past 3 or 4 years. I think it crested this year. I didn't even WANT to watch it. But like always...I have been sucked in by the wife. First, I want to say, I really thought that Idol would up their game since 'X-Factor' has blown them away in the production value department. Nope. Same old Idol. Lame set. A capella auditions. Same idiot clowns who have no place being there...but are trotted out for all of us to laugh at. Why? Because ruining lives is hilarious? Well, I didn't like Nicky Minaj BEFORE Idol...and now, having to see her on this show? I loathe her. Oh...occasionally she will say something funny, or make a silly face. But for the most part? She is a bitch. And her nasally voice and constant switching up of accents for whatever reason is just annoying as f***. And who is she to decide that EVERY person walking through the door needs a Nicky Minaj-provided nickname? I think if I was a performer, with any amount of confidence, I would stress to her that I have a name...one I feel good about...one that I'm hoping to make famous...and she is just patronizing me by trying to label me some stupid nickname so SHE can 'remember me.' If you need a bunch of dumbass nicknames to remember people by? Either write them on a notepad for your own self use...or excuse yourself as a judge, because you are obviously not cut out for it.

And why are we supposed to respect a musician who's music is nothing but a bi-product of studio equipment? Who...when we look back as a member of the early 2000's will laugh hysterically when we hear a Nicky Minaj song...that ANYone thought this shit was considered 'music' in the first place. As much as I thought Demi Lovato was a little snot-nosed bitch? I think Nicky might have her notched. And if you have 4 judges...and the first 3 judges vote 'YES' to Hollywood? Why are we even having to hear the 4th judge's vote? And why do we have to invent a way to say/pronounce 'yes' to every contestant? I don't know...I was barely able to make it through one episode. Mariah Carey is every bit as annoying as Nicky. Just in a different way. Any time she can find an excuse to sing, she whips it out. Yeah, Mariah, we get it...you can sing.  This isn't about you. The lone bright spot is Keith Urban...who I have always liked, as a musician and as a person. He just seems like a genuinely nice person. And he is a great judge, giving 'real' feedback and offering helpful advice. Nicky is a trainwreck. No way she makes it more than 1 season. Okay enough about American Trolldol.

So what happened in Choctaw? Well, lots. It wasn't the worst players. There were actually quite a few good players. And a lot of good players who I both like and respect won rings. So good for them. I really liked the place. A good setup for tourneys. The juice? Well...I just have to laugh now at the juice. I mean...I am happy just to be able to play at a few of these places. And despite everyone belly-aching about it? They keep showing up. And that just means that the joke is on us. I just think its hilarious when you do the math and discover that the house is making more than the person who actually wins the tourney. Never thought I'd see that day. I was wrong. But I've been wrong about a lot of things. I've noticed something about myself...I've become a helluva lot LESS compassionate about 'causes' lately. There just isn't a reason to 'lead the charge' for change in poker. All it does is attract negative attention to myself. And there is no majority of players that will get behind you and actually make something good happen. Poker players are talkers. And not doers. You can sit and have a very spirited conversation with just about any poker player. They can convince you that they are motivated to 'change the world,' but in reality...getting them to change their underwear is an actual challenge. So why bother? Its turned me selfish. It's now about ME. And maybe the people who invest in me. Just win, baby.

And in the case of 'what went down in Choctaw' I have continued with my theme of copy/pasting the wrap-up report that I provided for my backers/investors from this recently concluded event. I hope you enjoy this recycled synopsis of my last three or four days in Durant, Oklahoma.



It's Friday. I got home on Tuesday. This report realistically should have come Wednesday. But with Carley running around like a little hellion it seems to be impossible to get to my laptop unless she is asleep, as she pounces on it within minutes and starts pounding on keys! Trouble with that...by the time she finally goes to sleep, I am so tired, I fall asleep right behind her! On top of that...I had a desk full of checks for all the pools I run...and well...I'm just giving you my big 'ol run on rambling excuse!!!

 

I will call Choctaw a positive experience. The facility itself was great for poker tourneys. My hotel room was only a 3-5 minute walk from the tourney area. The tourney staff did a great job...hell, they should I guess, for the amount of juice they were taking out of our buy ins!

The trip started very optimistically with 3 quick cashes, one being a near win in the 7pm nightly...the guy I lost to...the one raising and sucking out with 9-2? He would win that tourney...as well as end up winning the Casino Champion ( I think, he was leading with two events left) award for most pts accrued during the week. Guy was an 'any two cards' beast. 

 

The second week was incredibly frustrating. Getting deep a lot, and getting derailed in ugly fashion, just sucks the life out of you...and energy I think. Because when I wasn't playing, I was sleeping...A TON! My Main Event was eerily similar on both Day 1A and Day 1B. On Day 1A I started on an early breaking table...ran my 20k up to around 35k...had my table break, and got moved to a table with the OMRG (old man run good) who was an absolute buffoon. He made some of the most incredibly horrible plays, only to get rewarded by the dealer. After watching a couple of them...I inquired from a few players what the deal was with him?

 

It was made pretty obvious that it was his modus operandi. Great. I sat there being very cautious of the potential peril that lived at the end of that table. He pretty much called ANY raise...and that included a couple of mine with AK and AJ that I missed the flops with. And since he played anything, it was foolhardy to bet into the guy, knowing he'd call with as little as bottom pair. I watched several good players attempt to bluff him...only to end up losing to him with him having, basically, garbage. He just simply had no 'FOLD' button. I watched my stack dwindle down to 12k...when it was around 34k when I came to that table. I needed to win a hand. Bad. So when I raised at 300/600 to 1750 with 99...I was greeted by him calling in the SB. Of course. Sigh. The flop came 7d-Jd-6x and I had two red nines. I was most likely good...that point confirmed when he checked to me. In every other case...he would check when he missed and bet when he hit anything. So when he checked, I just moved all in, to take down a 4k pot...which to me would represent a much-needed momentum changer. I moved all in for TEN THOUSAND! 

 

He hems, and haws...and...knowing not what lived in his brain to prompt such a call, CALLS me with AK. Can't for a second imagine what he was 'putting me on' or if it even crossed his mind...but when I saw the AK I cringed, knowing that he would probably get rewarded for his stupidity, yet again. He did. A king right on the turn sent me packing. I'm glad Poker News was there to watch the hand and report it on their website, because I don't think many people would have believed it had I told it to them the way it really transpired. Sure most would have been like..."Come on Monkey, 10k?" Thinking I exaggerated. Players have a way of 'changing stories' around on hand play to win over their listeners. I can usually detect which ones are doing that. For those of you who were following along, and read that...I'm not sure if you were as shocked as I was. I literally walked around the casino for about an hour...half in shock, half just pissed off.

 

I would play that night's $250 Mega satellite, trying to get $1675 back into our bankroll...since the two bullets for the Main Event would now have to be spent, the least I could do is try and get you guys back into the positive on Package A. Well...with a big turnout over 225 players for that, I would be derailed with 72...with 24 players getting a seat. Another frustrating 5 hours of poker. I went straight to my room, got 10 hours of sleep and arrived on Day 1B completely fresh and anxious to start my run over again.

 

Just like the day before, it started out good. I had an early breaking table with soft players...and ran my stack up to around 35k. I was listed among the early chipleaders on the PokerNews site...and even had me feeling good about getting out of Day 1. Then my table broke. And I got moved to a table way up front (never breaking) and stuck in Seat 1 (hate seat 1 and/or 10). The table looked relatively harmless. All except for ....him! Seat 6. Another older guy. Limps constantly. Min raises when he has a 'big hand.' I saw him as a real possible victim to double up on. The best kind of player to have in a Main Event. Usually.

 

There I was, sitting at 42k. Blinds were 300/600. A player (who I found out much later was an avid reader of my blog and sure knew a lot more about me than I did about him, obviously) who liked to raise in late position a lot with bad aces, raised to 1700. I picked up 10-10 on the button and re-raised to 4500. It folded back to him. He calls. They always just call. Never 3-bet. Never shove. Never fold. Just calls. Hate that. The flop came K-J-4...not a great flop for me...but when he checked, and I bet 5200, I figured I would take it down...concluding that he has another one of his A-7 type hands. He didn't obviously, because he raised it to 15,200. Shit. I folded. Hard Hit Numero Uno. Down to 32k. 

 

Then lose another 4k on a hand where I get in with A10...on an A-3-6 board...call all the way to the river, and lose to AJ. Ouch. Then what I determined to be the hand that turned my whole Main Event sour happened.

 

Mr. Min Raise did that move. I have a thing about playing people out of the blinds heads up who have min raised. No one called his min raise. I was in the BB with 3c-5c. A very good 'live' hand to play against someone with a hand they deem to be a 'monster.' I also get a special thrill from punishing the people who min-raise. SO yeah, I call.

 

I get an incredible flop. 4c-5d-8c. Middle pair, flush draw. No where in my mind did I see myself losing this hand. So I didn't even bother raising his flop bet, figuring I would wait to do that until the turn. Could I possibly miss all those outs? Did I mention (no I didn't) that I had missed 17 outs five different times the previous day? Even if this guy min raising had a big over pair...I still loved my hand, and my chances of getting a healthy chunk of chips back in my stack. So when he led out for 2700 behind my check, I just called. Now, for good players? This is usually where your red flag goes up, letting you know that the other player had something major developing over there. Or already HAD something major and was just working him like a $3 whore. Not this guy. He was the race horse who had those blinders on...and all he could see was his big pair. (not that I ever saw it, but it was pretty obvious by his blind, ignorant way of playing the hand)

 

The turn brought the 6 of hearts. Not the club I was looking for...or another 5, maybe a 3. But now I was open ended, to go along with my flush draw. Time for a semi-bluffing check raise. I check. He bets 4500 now. I raise to 12,000. He doesn't even hesitate. He 'snap calls.' Yep. Over-pair. Not even looking at the board to see all the various ways he could be losing this hand. Tunnel-vision. But the ugly reality was that I was still behind. And had now committed a ton of chips to this hand. The river brought the worst possible card...the 8 of diamonds. No straight for me. No flush. No second pair. In fact...he had now made (most likely) two pair. Incredible. I check to him. He fires out 8500. I frustratingly toss my cards into the much. Incredible. The guy had NO CLUE how close he was to doubling me up and crippling himself.

Incidentally, the idiot from Day 1A? He went by the name of Fred Roll...and after his hero (dumbass) call against me with AK...his stack shot up to a then-third place total of 74k...he wouldn't make it out of Day 1. Not even close. Same deal with this guy. He was out before even the dinner break. Just goes to prove my point about all these 'Dead Money Clueless Main Event' players that find themselves in these big events. They always seem to take out a lot of good players in the early rounds...only to donk off their chips in predictable fashion. It's always my aim to avoid these fools. But when I get caught in the crossfire..its incredibly deflating.

So as I sat there simmering...trying to clear my mind of that hand, and get back on the right track...I convinced myself that even though I had 42k just a while before, and now was at 14k...I could still turn things around. 

 

About that time...I pick up AK under the gun. I raise. The same guy (nemesis...fill in blank of other choice adjectives _____) calls my raise. The flop comes a very favorable K-J-7. I bet out a fair amount. He calls. Hmmm. The turn is a six. Rainbow board. No possible straights out there. Only fading a set. Which I don't think he has. I think he probably has KQ or K10. So I like the action I'm getting. I bet again...he calls again. Sticking with my read. The river is an eight. The pot is so big now that I think a check on the river might be the right play. If he has KJ...(nightmare) or a set...I might get him to check behind and cut my losses. Or if he has K10 or KQ and makes a reasonable bet, I can call and take down a huge pot...close to a much-needed double up. I check. He makes an absurdly high bet. Now I'm thinking he had Q-10 and missed his straight...and is trying now to win the pot the only way he can...by stealing it. 

 

I tanked and thought it out for a long time. My instincts led me to think I was good. So I called. What does he turn over? Nine-Freaking-Ten. He called my bets on the flop and the turn with gutshot straight draws. Then hits it on the river. You gotta be kidding me. I felt my head spinning. My stomach getting nauseous. Unreal. I was now sitting on a paltry stack...which would get all in with KQ three handed. The first raiser bet the BB out of the hand on a board of A-J-9....with pocket threes! Wow! What a stupid play...but I was in the best shape possible. A ton of outs. I missed them all. And was out of the main event, for the second time. And feeling very bummed out.

 

I wandered off to the cash room. Played for an hour (winning a monster $75!) then went to play the 7pm $200 tourney. It would start badly. The one hand that really stood out was raising under the gun with QQ and getting called by both blinds. The flop came 2-2-9. Turns out the lady in the SB...who has since sent me an email asking for a link to my Super Bowl Squares...had called me with 8-2 offsuit. Yeah. The 'ol eight duey! Why? She claims 'she felt it coming.' Okay. Well, that table broke...and my next table things turned around. I ran pretty well. And frankly, it was just a soft table that I abused mercilessly.

 

It was a good sized field, and first place was a pretty robust $6400. My goal was to win. To get all of you a positive return on your investment..maybe not the return you had in mind...but a RETURN nonetheless. And so...with three tables left, anyone that would bring it up, I would tell them I had no intention of chopping. When we eventually got to the final table...I would get that same lady on my left, and she was relentlessly badgering me to chop. I think with 9 left it would be like $2500 each. Even though I wasn't the big stack...probably 3rd in chips...I refused. I just have a lot of experience in nightly tourneys where I am far and away the best player...and doing a chop deal is just giving away money. If I was going to do a deal, it wasn't going to happen until we got to a minimum of 3 players.

 

The lady wouldn't let up. And it got just annoying. And made me more staunch in my stance, the exact opposite of what she was hoping would happen by badgering me, I think. Well, I would lose two coin flip hands...and get knocked down to being pretty short. And of course...I could hear the under-the-breath talk starting. "Should have taken the chop!" "Ha! Karma is getting you!" Blah blah blah...whatever you losers. It's got nothing to do with karma, its got everything to do with me not wanting to give bad players 2nd place money. Period. Well, we got to 6...I won a few more hands to get healthy again...and it was being proposed harder. $3k each. I figured I needed to win $4500 to get you all a return of about $150 per share...with the next day's last event still to be played. That was about what 2nd place was paying. And I figured I could pretty easily beat these players for 1st or 2nd. So I said no again.

 

It backfired. My 99 lost to QJ. For about a third of my chips. Then my AK lost to AJ...for about half. Then when I shoved with A10...I got called by Q10...and what won? You guessed it. Q-10. Out...6th, for $925. Crap. And of course...shortly after my busting...they did a deal. Whatever. Maybe I should have done the deal. But to be honest...I think I did what I should have. I was only up about $1500 on the trip...which barely was covering my hotel and gas. Winning it would get me home with at least enough for our monthly bills. No regrets.

 

The next day...the last event...Event 12...a $580 ring event? That started out great. I had a very soft table. I chipped up right away...and kept it going. Then my table broke. Uh oh. That had been bad luck the last few days. And it would be again. I had no fewer than 4 OMRG's at the table. (great!) I was in the dreaded 10-seat. Sitting in the 2-seat was a guy I know...but only from his act of generosity...giving money to the fund of Casey Jones...the dealer who passed away last fall, who I was raising money for. His name is Brittain Fraley...and he would end up min-cashing this event. And his wife would later friend request me on Facebook...or maybe it was following me on Twitter. Not sure, one of those. 

 

Anyway...it always amazes me when I have someone who I know is a 'Facebook friend' or who I know reads my blog quite regularly that seem to go out of their way to beat me. And this guy was one of those. I would raise with stuff like KQ..and he would call with K7. I would raise with AJ...he would call with J8...both times I'm raising early position and he's calling in late middle position. Why? Those hands are shit. Beating nothing. 

 

Well, on both of those, I (we) would flop top pair...he would call me all the way to the river...and hit his second pair on both. It made my stomach turn. I called him out (not realizing at the time who he was) on my Facebook, referring to him as the 'asshat in seat 2' who kept sucking out bad on me. 

 

Well, then I see a Twitter with my name on it...."Just noticed Monkey called me an Asshat for the bad plays I made against him...guess I'm moving up in the poker world." Or something to that effect. Oh my gosh. Really? He's THAT guy? Which just got me more annoyed and confused. 

 

But it was the OMRG sitting next to him in the 3-seat who was the most perplexing! Anytime the action was on him, he would get this far away look on his face...like only part of him was there. Then came the comment...which inspired a Facebook post. He had built a wall around his large denomination chips. There is a strict rule, as most of you know...that you have to make your large chips visible for the other players. You couldn't see his large chips at all. I mentioned, under my breath, to the dealer...that he should let us all see his chips. So the dealer asks him to move his large chips so they can be seen. His response?

 

"Oh...I'm sorry...I'm color blind...I can't tell the color of the chips." Irresistible. Me: "So are you also unable to read the numbers on the chips?" Jacktard!

 

Well...guess who would get all my chips? Yup. Jacktard! I sat watching this guy play all day...so I felt like I had a pretty good read on him. He had called several raises out of the blinds with ace-rag...and won a few of them when he got lucky and made two crummy pair against the better hand (preflop). His betting patterns were always the same. So...I raise with AQ at cutoff. It folds to him in the BB. I get the deer in the headlights look from him as he fumbled for the chips required to make the call. He calls. Here we go.

 

The flop comes A-7-9. Nice. I think. He checks. I bet about half the pot. He calls. Bad ace? 10-8? The turn is a 5. Seems like a good card. I bet behind his check. Now he raises me. Shit. Ace five? Very possible. I'd seen him suck out like this before. I simply flat call. Then the river card...the one that busts me....the one I can't get away from. A queen. Top two pair. He shoves all in. Well, there is only one thing beating me. A set. And guess what the clueless (seemingly, was it an act!??) old geezer has? A set of nines! Ball game! Game, set, and match....OMRG! Say good bye to Choctaw. The Monkey has left the building. Adios, Senor Monkey.

 

That was it. The final tally....four cashes. None over $1650. So many deep runs. So many hours of poker played. And now a 12-hour road trip ahead of me to drive...and re-think everything. And to look ahead to the next event...one that will have field sizes that probably eclipse these ones. Which were huge. I failed to make all of you investors a profit, which is always my primary goal. But at the same time...I won enough to keep you somewhat close to your initial investment...so at least no one took a bath! Your initial price per share was $110. The price per share after the event is worth $63.50. I have ALL of your balances on a separate spreadsheet. 

 

You now have the option of either getting paid out immediately, via either check or PayPal...however you paid...or you can opt to participate in the Palm Beach event...which...in looking at the tourney schedule, figures to have just about the exact same lineup, with my price per share figuring to be the same as Choctaw. 

 

It wasn't the worst event. But not how I hoped it would turn out, obviously. I thank all of you for your participation and hope you got at least a little 'bang for your buck' out of the 12 days of 'ring-chasing' in Oklahoma! Now its 3 weeks of resting up, keeping up with Carley Grace...and getting on top of all my pools and seeing how many Super Bowl Squares I can fill up for the big Harbaugh Bowl. If anyone has any 'rentable condo' connections in the Palm Beach, Florida area...please share this info with me!!!

 

Will 'Monkey' Souther