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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

UNVEILING of the MINIONS!!!

Okay, you have all been very patient! First...good morning, Happy Monday, to those of you with 9-5 jobs that you just LOVE! Yesterday, I laid eyes on my rental house in Pensacola for the first time in over a year. My mom had never seen that house, nor had she ever been to Pensacola...so Carley skipped daycare, and we headed for the sandy white beaches of Pensacola Beach. It was a really nice day. We ate a big dinner at Flounders, while Carley played in their big sand playland for kids. And went by and met my renters and checked out the house. It looked great. Nothing more wonderful than having great tenants! 

Got home and spent most of the evening on Facebook going back and forth in a heated political debate with a Crazy-Cat-Lady-In-Training...you know the type, way too many selfies, way too many pictures of cats, and a slow, morphing appearance of an owner who secretly is trying to look, herself, like a cat. Well, she is a massive Hillary supporter. Me? I hate Hillary. In fact, I have a group on Facebook, called 'Killary Wears Prada.' Arguing with a Killary supporter is akin to ....wow, I don't even know if I can come up with a sufficient analogy. Fortunately, as far as I can ascertain, most of my good friends hate Killary as much as I do...so when I do encounter a Killary supporter, I try with all my might to pretend they don't exist.

Kai Landry has come up with a remarkably intriguing idea. Now...this IS Kai we are talking about...so this might not be an 'idea' as much as it is a cry for attention from the Kaister. Things in his life have been pretty slow and boring lately. Lacking a healthy supply of hugs (and handies probably) Kai has this remarkable ability to come up with 'events' at whatever witty and creative name he has given his living quarters this month. Probably something silly like Lord Puddingsworth's Lair or The Domicile of Doom. Anything Kai can get people to show up for, also gives him the alibi necessary to employ scantily-clad ladies (think Hooters here) for the evening to provide adult beverages for his guests.  I'm sure most of you (or a lot at the very least) are familiar with Kai's much-hyped event at his 'place' a couple years ago. The first annual ...Jeezuz I don't know what it was OFFICIALLY called...The World Championship of Poker Champions Player Championship of.....on and on and on...see with Kai...its all about redundancy and intentional stupidity. At any rate. I won. And proceeded to (as promised if I won) streak through his neighborhood with the HubCap Trophy...which I had already broken. The following year, the trophy was 'stripped' (see what I did there?) from me by Danielle Stewart. The third event...has been in the planning stage now for over two years. 

Say what? Two years? Yeah...well...people underestimate just HOW hard it is to get people over the age of 30 to all assemble under one roof for a period of 4-5 hours simultaneously. I am convinced the older you get, the harder and harder it becomes. Just too many distractions. Kids. Jobs. Addictions. Mistresses. Pool Boys. Deep-seated hatred for Kai. Stuff like that. Which makes what Kai has proposed so exciting, but at the same time, perilous. I don't like planning things, only to have The Most Unreliable Party Planner of All Time drop the ball. But...well, here goes!

THE 'WILD CARD TOURNEY' TO BECOME A 2016 MONKEY GRINDER (aka MINION)

Date...to be announced. (think: next 30 days or less) We intend to host a poker tournament at Kai's Casa, complete with 'real' dealers, and probably ME as the tournament supervisor. The winner of this tourney...whether it be 5 players or 20 (the absolute maximum) WILL join the team this summer and win a seat into the $10,000 WSOP Main Event. You MUST be invited. You may also apply by emailing me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol. Kai lives here in Biloxi, so obviously, if you live out of town...this might not be something you can pull off. The COST...to play in this tournament...will be $400 per player. And this is the BEST PART. Each player that buys in? Will essentially be buying two shares! So no matter what...they WILL have a sweat, a financial interest in ALL of the eventual team members, whether they are on it or not. In the past, I've always encouraged those named to the team to buy shares. Why would you buy shares of something you are playing in? Well...duh...you aren't just getting an additional (added to your 35%) piece of yourself...but ALSO of all your fellow Minions! It helps build camaraderie among the team! 

The act of running this tournament, will be great for the selection process. As this is easily the toughest year I've had out of the three so far, this will add a whole new element to the promotion. Also...it will help me spot talent in a player who might dominate the whole tourney while playing lights out...only to get super unlucky, say, three or four-handed. I can identify with, and sympathize with bad luck at crunch time. The tourney will have a great structure, just like the WSOP...obviously it won't have two hour levels! And 30,000 chips! That would be silly! And take a week! But it won't be a crapshootie turbo either.

DISCLAIMER: A MINIMUM of 8 PLAYERS MUST PARTICIPATE FOR A SEAT TO BE AWARDED. IF NOT, THE PLAYERS HAVE THE OPTION OF SIMPLY PLAYING FOR WHATEVER AMOUNT THEY DEEM DESIRABLE AGAINST EACH OTHER, HANGING OUT AND GETTING DRUNK WITH THE HOOTERS GIRLS (or whoever Kai gets to come work for child labor rates) OR SIMPLY GET IN YOUR CAR AND GO HOME!

So...that's it on that deal. If you are interested? GET IN TOUCH WITH ME ASAP! I will get Kai to get his shit together and get this thing planned and set up with dates and times announced.

MOVING ON....and now the UNVEILING of the FIRST TWO (not so secret) GRINDERS for 2016! If you read Jennifer Gay's blog, on this same website (www.GulfCoastPoker.net) then the cat is already out of the bag. And if you don't? Well then I invite you to become a reader...as she has started sort of a 'Blog Mini Series' of sorts, titled 'The Making of a Minion.' It's all about her husband, Steven Pique, who officially joins our Charter member, and returning Minion, 'Wild Bill' Phillips. I'm going to make it real easy for you to learn all about Steven...by simply letting you click on this link BELLA DONKEY...which will open up a treasure trove of info on Steven and his plight this summer!



Steven Pique is 31 and from Biloxi, MS. Currently living in Las Vegas with his wife and two year old, he works at Aria as a Floor Supervisor/Relief Shift Manager in the Poker Room. He has a BS in Biology from Southern Miss. Shortly after graduation he left his laboratory job to follow the circuit as a dealer and climb the ranks. Tournament poker has always been his passion, but the instability of playing professionally isn't an option with a young family so his play is limited to regular appearances at the nightly events around Vegas. Playing the Main Event tops his bucket list, and he's already committed countless hours of studying to prepare for this opportunity. This could be a life changing opportunity for his family and one he plans to make the most of. He's solid, even tempered, quiet and smart but most of all he's patient and has the stamina to go the distance.

So? Welcome to the Team, Steven! I am 100% convinced that I have made a great decision, and that you will represent all of us with great aplomb!!!! You have a FANTASTIC PR REP working for you, too! So congrats, good luck, and enjoy the ride! 

As for Wild Bill? He needs no pep talks! He's 'been there-done that' and as the soft-spoken leader of this posse, he is currently in New Orleans once again proving that his selection to the team is not without merit. He has already clicked off two final tables in this weeks WSOP circuit event at Harrah's. Bill got the deepest of the four team members in our first year...which earned him a return trip. Then last year he became our first Minion to CASH in the 'Big Show.' Which got him another invite to play for us. To say I have 100% confidence in Bill and his ability to make a deep run in the Main Event would be a gross understatement. 

So...that's two down. I've currently sold 129 shares. 100 shares sends two players. So we are getting close to getting a third player funded. If this contest happens at Kai's Manor of Ineptitude, we will have our third member via special qualification. It's getting exciting folks! Time is drawing near! The Main Event starts on July 7th. Three starting flights. Are you wanting to buy a share? Or more? Get a hold of me....soon! ThePokerMonkey1 at AOL. All the details you need you will find by scrolling down to my recent blog titled 'Release the Hounds.' So please don't email me asking me to explain the whole thing to you. I beg you.

Okay then....gotta lot on my plate to tend to today! So that is it. You've got your news! Do with it what you may! 

MONK

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