MARDI GRAS RANDOMNESS

WOW!

Well, its Mardi Gras and I am contemplating whether or not I want to even GET online and try to play poker today. I was up till 5am getting 1 and 2 outed and driving my online balance down to $180. Sick. And Squirrel and I slept in til 2 today. Then I had to take her to work. Because of the parades they cant drive to work. We did this same exact thing last year. Me carting her and her friends to work. And then of course, I get to pick them up at 1am. Good times.

Prior to that I sat here updating my backers' spreadsheet. Ugh. Whoa. Worse than I thought it would be. And I took no percentage of any of the sit n gos I won up in Tunica. Would have been way worse. She had texted me this morning telling me she thought hanging out near home and skipping Reno would be the better idea. She is right. Mainly because of the hectic travel requirements, and the fact I can't get a ticket for under $600. Screw that. So I will stick close to home and play the daily tourneys at the Beau and wait on the Big tourney to get here. Gonna most likely skip Gold Strike as well.

So, I finally figured out how to post these things on my own. So in doing that I created an actual PROFILE! And now I know how to go in and maybe 'edit' something if me or someone else thinks it doenst sound 'right.'

I take Squirrel and her friend as close to the Beau as we can get. And it starts. This is where I have to question my place in this world. You know the old quote "every human is like a snowflake, all different from the other?" Well....that is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the decade! I am watching these people walking to wherever they are going...their car, their house, the underpass where they live in a cardboard box. I am taking this all in and asking myself "what on God's green earth are these people doing!??" I am witnessing my version of Sub-Culture on a very large stage.

A few years ago over in Pensacola I raised a bunch of money for charity, and on the heals of that won the title of Priscus King...which was kind of cool, I guess. I got to wear a crown and a cape and get free drinks all night. I was in the newspaper. We rode in a parade, throwing beads at people. I could not BELIEVE how many people came out to see this parade. A bunch of really stupid floats, with goofy people on them (me included) throwing beads to (in my case, AT) people. Beads. B-E-A-D-S. Plastic little balls on a string, that go for like 2 cents a piece. People fighting over them like they are actually WORTH something. I dont get it.

So today, as I am weaving through the back channels of Biloxi lookng for a 'shortcut' to get home (in what turned out to be a 2 hour odyssey) I am seeing some really strange shit. Young girls, both okay looking and super overweight walking around with yellow panties on the OUTSIDE of their jeans. Hmmmm. Okay. Old, broken down black dude carrying a six pack of Bud Light picking up every beaded necklace he can find on the ground. Old toothless couple sitting out on their front porch, with beads on just about every part of their body possible. Cars decked out in Mardi Gras theme.

Look. I am from Seattle. Grew up in Montana, back to Seattle, some time in NYC, some time in ATL, then Pensacola. So I have been in the 'South' now for 15 years. I dont consider myself a 'Southerner' really. I am TRYING to fit in. I am TRYING to adapt to you'alls traditions and everything...but some things, I'm sorry, I just can't hang with. Mardi Gras? One of those things. I just dont get it. Listening to Squirrel's friend Jessica tell me how over in New Orleans she had her ass grabbed about 4 times, her breasts grabbed twice, finally some black guy see's her with a piece of pizza and in what I guess was a come on (on what planet?) he says "Oh hey...yeah, PIZZA!" and goes to grab it. She backs up, looks at him, and says (telling us it was the FINAL straw for her) "Buddy, you TOUCH my pizza and I will BREAK YOUR FACE!!!!" He backed off! You Go! Jessica!

Enough about Mardi Gras. Glad its over. Watched the Oscars Sunday night. Pretty standard. Thought it was spooky that Best Supporting Actor went to a dead guy. Heath Ledger was amazing in that role, spooky scary. Kept Squirrel up for days after we saw that movie. Then he kills (basically) himself. Just weird.

This is a future random thought. They call it fast food right? So why is it...and maybe this only happens to ME....that when I am really in the mood for something FAST...and pull into, say Taco Bell, I get behind the minivan full of 27 kids whose total on the screen says $57.01 and I sit there for 22 minutes waiting on MY order! NOOOOO! And this is after driving around for 2 hours in Post-Mardi Gras Parade traffic. To make it worse, I order the FRESCO taco, thinking this is a healthier way to go on the fast food route, only to screw it all up by taking on a MEXICAN PIZZA! Which is pretty much the WORST thing on their menu I think!

I am almost positive that I have now seen EVERY episode ever made of SEINFELD, FRIENDS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, THE SIMPSONS, and FAMILY GUY. TBS has made sure of this. Yet, for some reason, I continue to watch them, over and over again.

If anyone knows of a softball league, preferably co-ed that Squirrel and I can get into, will you please let us/me know about it? I just want to (a) sweat once a week and (b) smack the shit out of a ball.

I think I have decided to try and win some money on Stars. Wish me luck....heeeeeeeererrreeeeee we gooooooooo!!

MONKEY