Bad Beat Jackpot anyone? Yes Pleaseeeeeee!!!!

SWEET!

On the eve of the WSOP satellite event at the I.P., which I have decided to commit 100% to all the events and delay my return to Las Vegas and the Venetian fall Deepstacks event....I decided to get out of my house last night and go interact with some humans.

Not sure if it was the fact that online poker was making me completely crazy...or if my trip to the Wal-Mart to do my month 'power shop' got me motivated to get out and see the people.

[in between watching football, a commercial comes on, featuring Jillian Michaels and her amazing weight loss-workout formula or whatever, what we get is her in her workout uniform hollering and pointing her finger in our face. She scares me. She really scares me. Never have I been so turned off by a woman that you would think people might line up to take a shot with. yikes!]

So anyway. I've not had such a hot week online.

[Okay, like this commercial a lot better. Bud Light commercial. Guy and girl riding in car. Two ways to respond to guy asking girl if "you're breaking up with me?" Second way is her pushing the guy completely out of the car on a highway. Awesome. Closing scene...guy all fucked up from hitting the road..."I'll Facebook you!" I love it.]

Yeah so online has been  your standard variance-fest this week. Lose 6 in a row. Win a SNG to pull even....back and forth. Ugh. The only thing I've been crushing with any regularity is PLO H/L. Whether its the $16/18pp Sngs or the various MTTS, I've made like 3 final tables in PLO. I am really anxious to play the IP tourney featuring that. I played it last year and made the final table of it. In fact, last year's IP event I had a really kick ass week, making 5 final tables and winning on Halloween to break my streak of 2nd place finishes. I would love to have a week next week like that. I just really, really hope we get a good turnout for this upcoming event. I can't see any reason why they won't. The new poker room there is great. They have the convention room, the good one...for this event, so tables should be plentiful, and nice and spaced out. The event list is nice, and the structures look awesome. We just need the people to show up.

Oh on another note...New Orleans Harrah's announced their schedule. Dec 8th-20th. And yeah, the structures should be excellent again. At issue is my status over there. After a series of emails between me, a buddy of mine who runs tourneys for Harrah's, and Jim Padullah, here is what was determined. Padullah send my friend an email stating that 'I did not 86 Mr. Souther from any property other than Ceasers, if he was 86'd from any other properties, you might need to talk to Jeffery Pollack.' That was exactly what his email said. So why did I get 86'd again from Harrah's New Orleans? Well, due to the fact that things happened in the past...and I mean...PAST...like 3 years now...and some asshole writing a letter to Harrah's New Orleans suggesting that I SHOULD be 86'd there since I am from ALL OF HARRAHS...which as we now know is total horseshit...that New Orleans Harrahs' security guy just decided to look in his notes on me...and self-impose the '86 himself. It really is turning into a cluster fuck. But my friend thinks that all he has to do is talk to the GM over there and tell him he wants me to be allowed to play there. I hope that IS all it takes. But you talk about a stupid shitstorm. I mean...when it comes to biting the hand that feeds them, this takes the cake. I worked with those guys over there on an attractive structure that would bring in a big field....and then promoted the hell out of it on here and on my Facebook...and what happens? They turn out a record field, and had nothing but happy players. And now they are threatening to keep me out? After I have been over there playing in their last 5 events? And done well, and taken care of everyone? And been in ZERO issue/situations? Ridiculous.

And again...to that asshole who wrote the letter to Larry over there, suggesting that I shouldn't be allowed in that casino...I hope you get swine flu you miserable piece of shit.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Yesterday. Have a major issue right now with my neck...and shoulders, and pretty much my whole back. Not sure what the deal is. But I had my friend who is also a massage therapist come over to the house with her table yesterday. She worked on me for 90 minutes. After it was over, I felt great. And to you sick bastards out there, yes...Squirrel was here.

Took a 1 hour bath, finished my lastest Vince Flynn book, 'Transfer of Power' another awesome book...and started the next one, 'The Third Option.' When I got out I was ready to go play cash game.

Arrived at IP at 10pm. Kai called. Decided to head over. Brandon Jarrett is in town. Let him know I was there. He didn't show up. Guess he was dialed into his game at the Beau. Fair enough. At some point in the night 'The Angle' would mosey by with his wife....they had just had dinner at that Japanese place at IP, 'Tien' I think its called. Said it was great. As he was sitting there pestering me (by pulling a large clump of hair off my arm, that I am certain he thinks was hilarious, but which almost got him punched in the eye) I was taking my second ridiculous beat in the last 20 minutes.

I sat down with $300. I turned $300 into $550 in about an hour. Then I get 22. Older, super tight guy makes it $12. Yes, I am playing $1/$2. I call with any pair right there. Flop comes 10-2-3...two hearts. I check. Next guy makes it $20. The original raiser just calls. Hmmm. Couple ways to play this...but I decide to just call and see if I fade the flush on the turn...then make it really expensive on the turn if its not a heart. Its not a heart. In fact, its a 10. Boat. How nice. Wonder if one of these clowns has K10...the devil, and will subsequently hit a K on the river to fuck me? Probably. Well I check again. 1st guy checks also. Hmmm. The original raiser now bets it hard. $50. Well, I'm quite sure I am good now, so I raise it another $65. First guy folds. He goes all in. I insta-call and flip over my 22. He groans...thats good news, but doesnt turn over his hand. I ask if he has K10 or A10....'No...but I did just beat you..." he says...as another 10 hits the river....and he turns over AA. Oh fuck! Come on dealer! Are you kidding me? $350 goes the other way. Shit. Leaves me with $200. I get that back up to $300.

Then, with 'The Angle' sitting behind me...I limp in with 44. Four handed to the flop and it comes Q-4-9. Guy bets 10. Fold, Fold..I make it $20. He calls. I say something stupid...like "wow, you must really hate money" to the guy who has done nothing but play super aggressive since he came over to our table from another table with too many chips for our table. He smirks at me. The turn is another Q. He bets $50. I go all in for another $150 or something like that. He snap calls. Huh? He turns over Q9. I'm drawing to a 4. I miss of course. FUCK! He says something like "You must hate money!" To which I say something like "Fuck You pal!" Yeah...it was a tense moment. When I left a few hours later, we were good buddies and shook hands. Pretty standard relationship building process for Monkey.

I rebuy for $300. Now I am in for $600. I will only bore you with one hand, because is was hilarious. I would get AKs. I raise and get called in 5 places. Big shock. This cute little old man who was sitting there all night with his wife...makes a play that sends him to the parking lot. He claims to have misread his hand...and I can't doubt it..when I tell you the hand.

Flop comes Q-9-3...two spades. They all check to me and I bet about the pot. No one calls except the old guy. I turn the 7 of spades...for the nut flush. He fires out $90. Hmmm...well I guess he must have a set. I am NOT folding. Just hope I can fade his boat. I re-raise him another $100. He just shoves all in. Wow. Okay, I call. And he turns over....ya ready? KING EIGHT of diamonds. Ummm....yeah, he is drawing dead. We all like THAT feeling, right? He goes into this downward spiral of self-loathing....insisting that he thought he had spades. Poor guy. But I am keeping his money. Now I have $650. Yah! Back in the black.

Then it happened. Kai, who was getting tired, and complaining about his eyes burning...decides to pack up and head home. Which made me feel like either putting on my iPod and playing in my own little world for awhile or going home myself. But before I could even get to that...I limp in for $2 with 44 and call a $12 raise. The flop comes A-10-10. I check. First guy bets $10. Next guy calls. I fold.

Next card is an A. Small bet. Small call. River is another ACE! Guy bets $18...other guy JUST calls, with KK. The first guy has A10. QUADS. I am sitting there...just thinking....wow...nice hands. Bummer for you KK guy, but you didn't lose much. When all of a sudden...someone mutters something about Jackpot...and the dealer says it too. And I look at the board, look at the hands...and say, "wow, holy shit...I think we just won the badbeat jackpot." We did. And not ONE person on our table jumped up, hooped, hollered, or freaked out. Which I thought was (a) pretty funny and (b) pretty cool. Like the guy who scores the game winning TD in OT and just casually hands the ball to the referree. Our table was too cool for school. So no one in the room really knew what had happended until all the floor people started gathering around our table. I was told it was a table share...and not a room share...and kind of started getting a little curiuos.

Well, the number was $37,000. Hmmm. So after the guy with KK got $19,000, and the guy with A10 got $9500....the five guys at the table each got $1900. Really? How nice. While we sat waiting for our money, I would take a couple more bad beats...but for small pots. Then, I don't know what the hell I was thinking on THIS one...I limp with KK hoping for that raise that kept coming from 'new found money guy' in the 6 seat. Nope. Playing KK 7 handed is fun. Flop comes Kc-10c-7h. Nice. I bet out $15. I get two callers. Hmmm QJ out there? Flush draw. Next card is the 9h. Ugh. I bet $15. Guy next to me raises it to $30. >???? Dammit. I call and hope to fill up on the river. River is a 3. Whatever. I check, the guy bets $25..and like a retard I fold. Face up. He says NOTHING...which I take to mean I just got bluffed. Which he later confirmed, telling me he had 44. Nice. No idea how I didn't call there.

So then I start thinking about how bad I feel for Kai...having JUST left like 10 minutes before we hit that bad beat jackpot. That same thing has happended to me twice. It sucks. I hope he isnt too upset. The last time I was part of a bad beat was at the Beau last fall, when someone at another table hit one. It was the last time they did an entire room share. I won only like $245. And in the time it took to get paid out...over 2 hours...I lost at least that much. It was not a happy bad beat experience. To their credit, the staff at the IP had us paid out within 45 minutes. And I made damn sure everyone took care of Troy, our dealer. Of my $1900, I gave him $140...or 6.5%...which is really good. I saw three of the other guys give at least $100. Then the first bad beat guy gave him $450, and the guy who won the lions share gave him $500, which was almost 3%...which was fine I guess.

While this was going on I was eyeballing the little weasel in the 2 seat...who had $140 sitting there in front of him. Why? What was doing? Why wasnt he just giving it to the dealer? What was he waiting for? It was like he was waiting for some kind of distraction so he could pocket it. Wow...is this guy really pulling this shit? Well, finally he gives the dealer $120 when its obvious he isnt going to escape tipping the guy. I think, all told...that Troy ended up getting about $1500. I was real happy for him. The floor guy gave him the option to EO (early out) when he finished at our table...and he accepted. Good night for him!

Well, listen to what weasel boy pulls next. One of the things I love about live poker is how easy it is (after years of experience I suppose) to read people. During the payout process..which was in cash...he managed to remove all of his hundreds from the table....he had 600 in paper money, and 300 in chips. Now he had $300 on the table. He raises preflop to $15. BB calls. The flop comes Q high with two clubs. BB checks. And as I am watching...I literally say in my head "this guy has NOTHING...." and its so obvious, the way he is assembling his bet...how he moves it out...I knew 99% this guy had NOTHING. I was thinking he had AK or AJ....which gave him nothing but a gutshot. Or maybe a live ace. Well, when the BB insta-flatted I watched his face and knew then I was dead on. SO the turn comes...and its a brick, clearly. The BB checks. And then...this gem falls out of his mouth...after he was observing his stack and realizing (my read here) that he didn't probably have enough chips in front of him to bluff this pot (with now only about $125 in front of him) ...."hey um...I had $600 in hundreds in front of me, but I accidentally put them in my pocket when they paid us for the bad beat...do you guys remember? Am I allowed to bring those back out?"

Now why do you guys think he was doing this? How many total assclown retards are reading this that aren't getting what BS this guy is pulling? Well, it became a 'should we let him or not let him bring it out on the table' when I spoke.  "Dude, so you are in the MIDDLE of a hand...which is BTW, five hands after the resume of play after we got paid out...and now you are bringing this up? I mean...if the only way you can WIN the hand is by bluffing at it...I guess thats a damn good reason to pull this crap, right?" He just sat there with a stupid look on his face...and the other player said "No, you can bring it out after this hand is over." Well, a King hits the river...the BB bets out a $100 and this guy insta calls...well, duh...since he just hit his gutshot straight. Not sure why he didn't go all in for the other $25...that was pretty stupid. But regardless...it was just like a Pokerstars moment...when that stupid fucker plays a hand about as BAD as a hand can be played...but somehow gets the miracle bailout on the river. It pissed me off how lucky he got. What a fucking weasel. He even kind of looked like a weasel. Wish I would have taken his picture.

Well, this blog has gotten long again. I made some changes to it the other day..color, font...added some shit to the side...now when you guys makes comments they will show up on the side of the page. Hope everyone digs it. I guess I'm done talking. Now to enjoy this Saturday of college football. Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!


MONKEY