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Sunday, December 4, 2011

In Three Days....

Okay, I've been watching the daily numbers decline, a little more day after day...that always tells me I need to put a little new content up here for you coyotes. I know, you can't just keep going back and seeing the same damn post, right? Sorry. I'm feeling extremely lazy the past two weeks, not really sure why.

{look! Over there! >>> to you're right! See that poll? Cast your vote! It's getting good! And the Heisman is awarded NEXT Saturday! Andrew Luck has taken the lead here...33% to 25% for Trent Richardson! Let me hear you!}

Though I did manage to pull off two amazing days, back-to-back...or running errands. And running errands translates to 'spending money' so I am really looking forward to next week's event coming up at Harrah's New Orleans. I am, however, a little annoyed that they still haven't listed the event in Cardplayer's website posting of upcoming poker tourneys. That almost always ensures that the numbers will be lower than they should be. 

So what happens in three days you ask? Some of you know. Like my mother...who is literally counting down the days like an 8 year old counts down the day's til Santa comes to drop a bag of toys in the living room. On December 7th...at around 10am...me and the wife head to the doctor to take a look at the ultrasound to find out what our baby SquirrelMonkey is going to be...a girl or a boy. What am I rooting for? I really don't know. My Mom and her Mom really want a girl...since her brother has three boys, my brother has three boys, and my sister has two boys. Should we have a girl, that is going to be one spoiled little girl. I think Cheryl is kind of wanting a boy. I guess I'm fine either way...I just hope we have a healthy baby. And a cute one. There is nothing sadder than those parents who have an ugly baby but tell everyone how cute it is. Trust me, if my baby is ugly, I will know it. I just hope it comes out looking like her and not me!

Interesting day in college football yesterday. Thankfully all the Hokie fans can shut up now. And Houston proved to be a farce. Pretty sad that the best college team in Mississippi isn't from the SEC! But Southern Miss looked damn good yesterday. Nothing like being the Black Sheep of your conference for costing it millions in a missed BCS opportunity, which is what the Cougars would have done for the conference with a bid in the Sugar Bowl. But hey...if Houston was just going to show up and get clobbered, then why bother? I think it will end up being a good thing for the Sugar Bowl.

Watching Georgia lead LSU 10-7 at the half...and limit the Tigers to ZERO first downs and only 10 yards of offense, I really felt encouraged about 'Bama's chances against them in the upcoming BCS game. But then...knowing that UGA had failed on countless tries to score, including two dropped passes that might have been TD's and a missed FG...I had a feeling LSU would come out in the second half and take over. And that is what happened. LSU outscored Georgia 35-0 in the second half. Or 35-7...whatever. They killed them. And that fucking Honey Badger went nuts.

So...once that was done, I was hoping to watch Clemson win (which they did) and Oklahoma beat Oklahoma State...which did not happen. In fact, the Sooners got killed. Which meant I went to bed feeling very uneasy and nervous about the chances of Cowboys convincing voters that Oklahoma State should be the team to play against LSU. I literally had nightmares about it. And to be truthful, I think OKST has a legitimate argument in thinking it should play for the National Title. I just can't help but think that 'Bama has the better team between the two. Suddenly my proclamation that the BCS Title game matchup was a lock is feeling a little more precarious. I should have knocked on wood, maybe...when I said that.

I would like to take full responsibility for causing the Cain Train to run off the tracks and hopefully into GOP oblivion. Yup, yesterday, America's biggest bullshit artist and certified worst liar in political history announced he was suspending his presidential campaign. And I don't think it was because he wanted to, or thought he should. I think it had more to do with his campaign manager telling him that the contributions necessary to sustain a run were drying up quickly. It was nice knowing you Herman. 



Now I'm just wondering how long its going to take before Sarah pops back up out of her spider hole. Has anyone noticed how eerily quiet she has been for the past 60 days? That is simply not her style, at all. Which tells me she is up to no good. I know its coming...I can feel it.

As you may or may not know...commercials are a major source of annoyance to me. Right now there are a couple of new ones that have my skin crawling.


Okay this isn't a new one. But it's easily in my top 5 of commercials that cause me throw things with the intent of destroying them. I was hoping that after the NASCAR season ended, that so would these stupid effing commercials, at least til February. Nope. No such luck.


Ah but when it comes to new commercials that really drives me nuts? This one takes the cake. It's the new iPod Touch commercial. First thing that needs to be addressed, is who told us that 'skinny jeans' are supposed to be sexy? Sorry. They aren't. This blonde girl in the ad...she is fairly attractive, but those jeans? They take away all sexiness whatsoever. Oh but wait, it gets worse. Here comes her obviously 'light-in-the-loafers' friend for who-knows-where tromping along in his stupid skinny jeans. And just for fun, they are too short. And he has ugly shoes. And his black curly hair and glasses....grrrr...I've got a kid on the way, and if that kid ever brings this kid home from school one day, I'm filling his underwear with firecrackers and pushing him out the front door! Freak!
I would like to thank the Houston Texans for their big win over Atlanta today. I had a feeling this TJ Yates guy might be okay. And he was. And whoa...think the INDY Colts wish maybe they had given Dan Orlovsky the ball like...mmm...ten weeks ago? Dude lit it up today, and nearly beat the Patriots.

I'm a bit troubled by the move Coke made with this year's holiday design on their can. We all identify Coke by their RED can right? In a Pavlovian way we are just accustomed to certain brand items looking a certain way. I mean, if McDonald's suddenly changes their Golden Arches to say...Purple? Granted, I like the color purple...but I would likely drive right by, not even noticing it there. So yeah, Coke has gone with a white can...with cute polar bears. Well, Coke has been using white cans for their Diet Coke product for awhile now. And a lot of people are getting crossed up, myself included. And I hate Diet Coke. So there have been a couple of instances of me snapping at a waitress thinking she brought me a Diet Coke. Dammit Coke...knock it off!!!





How many of you are joining me and a lot of my poker-playing brethren in New Orleans next week for the event at Harrah's from the 8th to the 18th? I just had an exchange of text messages with Larry, the poker room manager over there, inquiring as to why he hasn't had the event posted on Cardplayer.com. Almost as if they were trying to avoid a big turnout. But he simply responded that he wasn't aware you could just let them know and they would post it. So hopefully they get it on there tomorrow or so. I passed on Atlantic City to play this event, and really hope it's well attended. I think the structures will be great...so we just need to have some players there! It will be my last event of the calendar year so I really would like to finish up strong. Would put me in a lot better mood going into the Christmas holiday with the wife while we are up in North Alabama with her family.

My College Bowl Pool has now hit it's 15th season! The big email e-vite goes out to all the people on my distribution list tomorrow. If you are interested in playing my Bowl Pool, or want to get on my Distro List...shoot me an email at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com

There was a lot of chirping all around the south yesterday (Saturday) about people hearing loud booms, or rumbling sounds. Some thought it was a sonic boom, others an earthquake. Further investigation turned up a lot of theories, but no answers. Hmmm....nothing like a mystery to get your creative juices flowing.

I would like to encourage ALL of my poker playing friends to start thinking about where you are playing this January. Me? I have booked my flight and hotel for Los Angeles and the WSOP-C events at the Bike from the 2nd to the 12th and then Caesar's Las Vegas from the 19th to the 30th. Followed by Venetian Deepstacks.

What I'm hoping you will ALL decide to do is either play with me out west, or play at Pompano's Isle down in Florida for that big event...or play at Choctaw in Durant, followed by the WSOP-C event at Harrah's Tunica. Or if you are feeling festive, journey down to Atlantis casino in the Bahama's for the Pokerstar's Caribbean Adventure, a high dollar event for big ballas, mostly. Expect we will see Chad Burns down there. He of the monster bankroll! Oh...wow, speaking of Mr. Burns...we have a new movie, sent to us from a contributor.

WHAT CHAD WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!  


Not sure if that will work, YouTube clips are so much easier to embed into my blog.

Oh, but back to where I do NOT hope to find my fellow poker players? Duh! The Beau Rivage. It still burns me up that Johnny Grooms is so pathetic that, due to me leading a boycott of him and his poker room as long as he works there, goes to the BR's security manager and somehow convinces him to put an '86' or 'Trespass' on me at ALL the MGM properties. What a joke. And under what premise? Not even sure how he can get away with that. But it is what it is, right? Until he is let go by the Beau Rivage, and that casino returns to 'favored status' I will continue to use what teeny tiny amount of influence I have to encourage everyone I know that plays poker (could care less about any other form of gambling, got no axe to grind with ANY OTHER employee at the Beau Rivage) to avoid Johnny Grooms' tourneys at every turn!

This January event he has decided to slap a cute label on it...'The Million Dollar Heater.' Huh? Oh...let me guess, can I? Because lemmings and fools see the word 'M-I-L-L-I-O-N' and immediately its like asking your dog if he would like a..................SKOOBIE SNACK!???? Ears perk up! Salivating starts! Right? Is that how that big brainstorming session went while trying to figure out how to market that event, now that WPT will no longer have anything to do with you?

Yeah...I can only hope that my fellow poker players aren't this stupid. See...his 'million dollar' reference comes from one thing and one thing only. They are guaranteeing a $1m prize pool for their Main Event. Yeah. Know what that means? That means that if 200 players show up for their $5k Main Event...that they will have to come out of pocket for a grand total of zero dollars. Now, what would make me giggle, is if they get like 35 players...and have to come out of pocket for $825,000. That would be...in a word, magical. Any way...moving on.

I know...I'm almost running out of time to talk about that lovely 2nd place run out in Vegas a couple weeks ago. It's weird. It's not like I'm avoiding it. It really was quite a lovely experience. Guess I just prefer to talk about other stupid shit instead.

I think that is enough for today. Mainly, I wanted to be finished before they do the BCS announcement...which comes in ONE hour. Yes, I am nervous.

Monkey



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