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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Three Days in LA....two Final Tables

 {hey! see the poll to the right over there>>>>??? Weigh in, be heard!!! The Green Bay Packers just took the lead over the Saints. Really??? And this is a gulf coast site? Wow, who are my REAL readers out there!!!???}

I have run out of time to blog this morning. Got too busy working on all my pools, and squeezing in breakfast. Sorry. Honestly, don't have a lot of 'momentous' things to report...unless you consider almost choking to death 'momentous!' 

For the second time in a month, I nearly died at the poker table. If you aren't familiar with what a hiatal hernia is, its when you have an esophagus that contracts...and sometimes, it contracts while eating...and that is bad news...because it holds the food in place...not allowing it to go down. So you sit there...feeling the food in your throat, stuck, not moving...panic overcoming you...sweat building up on your forehead.

Thing is, I've been experiencing these little 'episodes' now for about three years, so I have learned how to try and manipulate the situation, using patience...remaining calm, waiting for it to pass. But occasionally that doesn't work. I know it almost never works, but the first inclination is to try 'washing it down.' So picture a dam...and you are trying to pour water behind it. Yeah. It doesn't go anywhere...so you either drown, or you throw it up. Yeah, that was me, both in New Orleans...in the Main Event, when we were in the money....and the other night here in the PLO tourney...which I ended up chopping at 5am with 7 other guys.

There wasn't a garbage can anywhere in sight...and I ended up throwing up in my hand. Awesome huh? Had to walk away from the table with AcKcJJ in my hand too...with a raise and two calls behind me. That sucked. It took nearly 30 minutes before that piece of bread finally passed. Not a pretty picture. The floor people and security were all baffled and didn't know what to do.

Couple things to report. They have totally ironed out the SNG problem...it is now properly organized and flourishing, with up to 8 going at the same time. Very nice. What wasn't very nice was going 0-4 in SNG's yesterday....after my noon bustout in the $550. How did I bustout?

In the previous day's 5pm...$245 (with one $200 rebuy) PLO tourney...I had a guy at my table who looked like Robert Downey Jr. He was a nice guy. Played a little loose. Well, he was at my $550 table. He limps for $150. The guy on the button raised to $600. There had already been a lot of 4x raising from everyone. People out here tend to over bet a LOT. No one likes to play flops. Too scared, or too shitty I guess. Well, I'm in the SB with KK. I re-raise...to $1650. RDJ (yes, you're catching on) who had limped....CALLS! Huh? Anyone got a read here? I didn't. The button also comes along.

The flop comes 7-7-7....I think we are all sitting there with KK feeling pretty good aren't we? Well, my game ended right there. RDJ called my $1850 raise after limping....with 7-8. Nice hand sir. GG Monkey.

So yeah, SNG-Land was a huge misadventure. I got the chiplead in three of four of them....even had a big chip lead in one with 4 left....got run down and fisted in all of them, finishing 4th twice and 3rd once...all for no money. So my deficit heading into the nightly nightmare....an 8pm tourney with a bunch of over-betting chasers...and featuring a structure that gives you $6k in chips...with 20 minute levels for 4 levels...then going to 15 minutes the rest of the way......was a robust $1200. Meaning I needed to finish 4th or better to get even on the day.

I won't bore you with all the details. Other than to tell you I cracked AA twice in the first three levels. What's weird is that in both hands (one of which I cracked OMRG's aces) I really thought I was ahead when I made the re-raise move on the guys. The other guy I beat was wearing really, really, really dark glasses...and I love beating those guys. I also managed to bust a guy along the way who was wearing a Longhorns hat and chewing on a toothpick. Hell yes.

Made it down to two tables...paying 12. This moron limps for 2k. Gets three calls. And I have AJs in the BB. Yeah...I'm raising. I make it 14k to go. Initial limper/bozo...tanks forever, and decides to commit chip suicide with A5d. Moves all in for 19k. Guess he thought he was going to psyche me into folding for another 5k. Retard. Flop 8-8-2-4---------FIVE. Son of .....and my 38k was cut in half...and I was now living in ten big blinds land. 

I made a comeback...made the money, made the final table....then got a double up with KJ against my KK. And I now had a good shot at the $4500 for first. Putting that with the $3700 I won the day before in the PLO tourney....now THAT would be a good start to the trip. Didn't happen. The same drip who took half my chips with his A5...raised at cutoff...and I repopped him all in with AQs.....he snap called and flipped over AK. Shit. It held, and I was out 8th for a whopping $520. Yippee. So I lost $720 on the day. I guess that's better than $1200.

Today is a $340 at noon, and yes, it has already started. The first level is 25/25...which is just annoying, because the idiots all raise 200 preflop anyway....8x. So why bother? I'll just wait till 25/50. Plus I needed to get a few things done this morning, like this blog, which is obviously short.

Yeah, the PLO the day before yesterday....that was fun. I had never made the money before in a straight PLO tourney. Just hi/lo...so that was kind of satisfying. There were 93 players total. We got to the bubble and everyone wanted to take out $75 for the bubble. I was the only one who said no....and I didn't even have that many chips. Just didn't feel like it. Everyone was mad, and wishing bad karma on me. So what happened? I busted the bubble. Saved everyone $75...and became the hero all of a sudden. Poker players can be so douchey.

Then from the time we got to 9....it was nothing but a beg fest to chop. I was the only one relenting. First place was $9k...and I wanted it. But we played three levels with losing a player when we were down to 7. It was now almost 5am. I was running out of gas...and we had no short stacks. And I had to play at noon the next day. I also didn't want to run the risk of finishing 6th or 7th for only $1200+....when we could chop, all take 3rd place money ($3700) and call it a night. So that is finally what we did.

Getting paid out here is the biggest ordeal I've ever seen. If you are from out of state, you get drilled for 7% state tax that you may or may not be able to get back at the end of the year. Guess it depends on their tax laws and who your accountant is. Then they run you through form after form. Then sit there and watch the girl in the cage with her calculator trying to figure out how much she owes you after taking out the buy in...taxing the winnings, adding back in the buy in....oh my god...us four out of staters were about to lose our shit. So of the $3700, I lost $246 to taxes. Nice. Kind of lowered my desire to tip...but I still left $100.

So yeah, there is your abbreviated report on 'WHASSSUP with MONKEY in 2012!'

Big thanks to Bill and GeneD for listing Squirrel and I on their Top Ten list for 2011 on the front page of GCP! She thought that was pretty nice. All reports from home on Baby Carley Grace are good. This morning I woke up to a show on National Geographic called 'Inside the Changing Body' or something like that...and it was all about what happens to a woman's body during pregnancy. It was really cool, and quite informative. I really see now why she is always so tired, and why she is up about 7 times during the night using the bathroom!!!!

Getting pretty excited for Monday to get here! Got three more days here to bring home some good money...then go to the BCS game...and hopefully root Bama to victory and another $2k in side bets with a couple of Tiger fans! Rolllll Tidddee!

Okay, I'm out of here!

MONKEY

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