The Good, The Bad...The Ugly

I can't exactly put this trip to West Palm Beach into words. It has been, well...quite the experience. All the stories I was presented, warning me of the players who lack 'fold buttons' have proven to be (predictably) true. The inconsistent, irritating clashing of policy/rule between the 'road carnies' of the WSOP and the in-house staff and management has been the subject of a lot of player frustration. 

The nightmare tales of long lines, sold out events and total inability to play a SNG single-table satellite have all been (thankfully) a non-issue. Though I was confident that the new-hire 'Miranda' would be down here (as a member of Jimmy S/Bill Bruces' crew) and would be doing her usual bang up job of running the SNG's, she isn't. But the guy from their in-house staff, a gentleman named Bret, has been doing a surprisingly great job of running them...so getting into a SNG has been quite simple.

There is one problem with the SNG's...that has a majority of the regular 'circuit grinders' pretty angry. See...as players....we are like a bunch of trained puppies. Tell us when and where to piddle and poo and we eventually figure it out. But then switch it up on us and we are all walking around with our tails between our legs, confused and growling because we don't know what else to do. Maybe someone even gets a little bite if they aren't careful.

So what is that problem? There are two popular price points on the SNG's here. The $125 and the $250. Which are actually $130 and $255...as they are doing a $5 add-on of 500 starting chips. That $50 is earmarked for the dealers. And if the dealers are truly getting all $50 of it, I think its a good idea. I've seen far too many SNG's end and seeing the dealer get stiffed, of some schmuck that just won $500 to $1000 throw the guy in the box $5 and thank him enthusiastically. Um, dude...you just gave me five bucks. I hope you die in a car fire! Or at least get burned really bad and lose your ability to pick up single women at speed dating events.

The problem is we are all used to EVERY event...where the WSOP gives us $2000 starting chips with 15 minute levels in the $125 version....then $2500 (sometimes even $3000) chips in the $250 (or $225 as they usually tend to be) with 20 minute levels. Well...here, its still the same starting chips as the $130....and the same 15 minute levels. Well...a lot of the players were griping about it, so Bret...who really seems like a guy who wants badly to make the players happy (my kind of guy!) went to their poker room manager with the issue, promising to come back with an answer for us.

He returns. "Okay guys. Number one...you are RIGHT! The WSOP does, in fact, always do 15 min levels on the $125 (in actuality, they often times do 15 minute levels on the SNG's that are UNDER $100...then go to 20 minutes on the $125's and up) and go to 20 minutes on the $250's and up. But Number two. We always run OUR sng's that we do here with 15 minute levels across the board...and he (their manager) doesn't want to deviate from that. Nor does he want to add any chips to the starting stack...so what you see is what you get."

Translation? We don't really care what you guys are used to. This is how we do it here. So deal with it. And? Their cash room is packed...which leaves very few tables for SNG action...so I'm sure his main objective is to get us in, and get us out...collect our juice, which to be fair...makes the SNG the best play in the house...taking only 10% juice compared to the borderline outrageous rake on most of the events; and keep turning the tables over quickly. 

Well, I feel like that structure has worked against me the past few days. I've won two SNG's...but I've also bubbled (3rd and/or 4th...they pay 1st and 2nd and give 3rd their buy in back) FOUR of these...out of a total of 8 played...so it's been incredibly frustrating. 

The players themselves? A very eclectic mix of folks. You have a surprisingly strong turnout of the 'regular roadies' who attend most of the WSOP events...which gives you the occasional opportunity to have a table full of decent players who all know each other and recognize each others strengths, weaknesses and tendencies. But then you also have 'the locals.' Or as we tend to refer to them...the donkeys. The cash game maniacs. The idiots. The chasers. The clowns. The ones who will destroy the hopes and dreams of many a good player with their horrible play...only to relinquish those ill-gotten chips shortly thereafter when the law of averages catches up with them and their 'run good' ends...resulting in their walk right back to the cash room...where they have the option of re-buying (in most cases, to the extreme) every time they bust. I call it getting caught up in the crossfire. And you are seeing a LOT of good players walking around the place, shaking their heads in disgust...having just fallen victim to the inexplicable elimination from the tournament, in most cases at the hands of some jacktard shit fuck (get all that?) who (a) never should have been in the hand  in the first place (b) watched them miraculously catch up and then beat them somehow and (c) would just wind up giving away all their chips in a short amount of time.

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So I passed out about halfway through writing that late last night. Slept until 10am...my first actual good night of sleep. We got here ON TIME for the 4th and final shot at getting to Day 2 in this damn $580 $1m Guarantee...and find out they are delayed half an hour. I'm okay with that I reckon.

Okay we are getting started. And I just want to give you guys who care a little SOMETHING to sink your teeth into...I promise there is more...LOTS more....to write about from down here. But I must...MUST get through this day today. Oh...and its my birthday. Or as I like to call them...countdown milestones to death. Because after you turn 30...is there REALLY any reason to CELEBRATE a birthday? For the record...I'm 46....or 4 years away from being able to play in the OMRG carnivals!!!!


MONKEY

PS: Verizon down here....SUCKS! Both on my phone, on my iPad and on my damn wireless Internet card. As well as the 'free' wireless internet they offer here in this poker room. Nothing...not for one hour of one day, has been reliable. So I am now trying all three sources to post what I've written. Aggravating!