SUNDAY....DAY 11... Gloom and Sadness, and a little Homicidal Rage!

....its 10:19am. It's very sunny, and the wind doesn't appear to be blowing 900 mph today. Here is what I SHOULD be doing right now. Waking up after about 7 hours of sleep, thinking about the 100 to 200k in chips I bagged up last night, getting ready to go down to the pool for about three hours of 'sunning' before going back at 4pm to try and win 83k today.

Here is what I am doing instead. Waking up after sleeping for 11 hours. Still pissed about last night. Contemplating whether to go to the pool and take a much needed day away from poker, all while getting my tan on and reading my book, maybe talking to some topless strippers at the Sapphire pool and letting them try to make me feel like I'm a stud even though all they are doing is trying to get me to go back to their strip club and dump some more money on them; or going to the Venetian in an hour and playing the $1000 tourney, which should have a guaranteed first prize of around 100k.

I also need badly to do my laundry, which would require a drive over to Allie Prescott's house. Allie can't be in too good of a mood today. Playing in the 10k Mixed event at Rio, Allie played an awesome tourney, hovering around the chiplead for most of it with some of the biggest names in poker at his table, before taking three or four attrocious beats to lose a lot of his chips, then go out 9th to miss the 'official' Final Table (based on an 8-player field in the Mixed format) by one and cash for 48k, NOT what he was looking for, I KNOW. Regardless, I'm still proud of him as are others I know.

Yesterday is a day I would like to erase from my memory bank. Maybe the weirdest day of poker I can ever remember. But what is even more bizaare is what GOT me to yesterday.

On Friday, I went back at 4pm to play Day 2 of the Venetian $550 from the day before. We started the day with 33 players, and we rather quickly got to 18. I managed to escape the two HUGE donkeys at my table on the redraw, but still had one of them join me at the new table. I managed to chip up from 210k to 440k rather resourcefully. Then with 18 left, and me sitting there with JJ..it happened. I raise UTG...and DonkeyBoy calls me, as he has EVERY FREAKING TIME I raise. Now the M.O. on this clown is...you raise, he calls, flop comes, you bet he folds. You check and he bets half the pot. So when the flop comes KK8, I check...thinking (and wanting, I think) he will bet out. Which he does. Half the pot. Now, I have seen others check raise this bozo, and he almost ALWAYS pays off...so instead of doing what a smart Monkey (and any other 'decent' player) should do and simply min riasing him to see where I am at...I go ahead and move all in on him...to which he SNAP CALLS! What? Oh hells bells, he turns over AK. Yeah. AK. He actually, finally...played a hand really well. I failed to hit a J or go runner runner diamonds, and was out...very sick, and very unsatisfied with $1800.

I sat in the vestibule, dejected. Ben Chan was still in though, and had 400k when I was whacked, and we had done a 10% share, so there was still hope. I decided to go play at the Rio's 7pm $340. I get there, almost in time. Draw table 273, seat 5. Who is in table 273, seat 4? Ben Chan! No freaking way. Yep, he went out right after I did. Losing to the same guy with 77 vs. 88. So now my dreams of making another 5k or so off of his 10% were up in smoke.

Things started out well in the $340. Hit some flops, won some chips. Started drinking...had the whole table enjoying themselves. Had Joleen pull me aside before it started to apologize to me for how she treated me the other night in this thing, where she slapped a penalty on me for something I really wasnt guilty of, thought that was very impressive and 'stand up' of her. Things were rolling along pretty good...but then three orbits of no cards and escalating blind levels resulted in me having 4800 chips at 200/400 when some guy raises my SB 1200. I look down at QQ as I am trying to tip the cocktail waitress. I announce that I am going to raise. I am fiddling with loose change, can see everyone getting restless, including the guy who raised (with KJ)...when I finally realize that the only real raise I can make is all in. Which I do. He calls. And the dealer puts a K in the window, gives him another one of the river...how nice, and I am out.

What to do next, what to do. I walk into the SNG room, NOT TO PLAY mind you...last thing I want to do is play ANY Rio SNGS...the structure on them is just TOO horrible. I've decided that ALL my SNG play will be at Venetian. But what happens? I get roped/bribed/forced/blackmailed into playing one...a $125, with a $20 last longer. Minus two players. I refused to let them in...on account of its more interesting when there are TWO not in it. One of the guys goes crazy when I won't let him in....even calls the floor over to bitch that "this guy won't let me in the last longer!" The floor looks at him with a blank expression, telling him "what do you want ME to do about it? We don't sanction last longers sir." The guy threatens him with claiming that "gaming commission is going to hear about this!" To which we all laugh our asses off!

I will cut to the chase. I somehow manage to get three handed in this one winner only deal. One of the guys, who has barely less than I do, is sporting a circuit ring, though I have never seen him before, but I know he is a capable opponent. At 200/400 he limps in. I look at A10 and raise, too much...like 1500. He jams! Oh shit. I look at what I left myself in chips...like 1100, and I am screwed. I have to call. He flips over QQ. Oh hell, I am such a donkey. 6-6-4 flop...I get up to leave....10 on the turn....Hmmmmmm....really? River....not an ace...no-no...ANOTHER TEN! Wowwwwwwww....and I knock him out. The other guy I had 3 to 1. In 7 hands it was over, and I won it all! $1400. Of which I gave $100 to the dealer.

Well, now I am in a great mood, and feel like the Poker Gods just handed me $1300. Then I see McLean Karr, a good buddy of mine. Keith is around, having just won HIS SNG too. We are all in a good mood and want to go see naked females. So I call up Sapphire and they send us a limo and set us up with a table. We go quickly shower change and ride over. The place is packed. I see Glen "Disco Inferno" from Atlanta who is now living out here and working there. Cool. Talk to Steele the manager, who shows us to a table. We drink 3 bottles of Pinot Noir and watch the festivities for several hours. It was a very good time. Lets call it 8am when I returned to my room. Feeling very run down. I spent some money. But I owed it to myself, to Keith and my other buddies who joined us. I had been here a week and not stepped out for some 'away from poker' time.

Cue the 'Day From Hell.'

I will never profess to understand how the Poker Gods work. I wake up at 12:21 and feel like total shit. I have gotten an email from my backer telling me which horses she would like me to bet on for the Belmont. So this is going to automatically require me to walk down to a sports book. Start thinking/remembering how large the day's $550 at Venetian should be...turns out being 574. I make the decision to suck it up and head over there. I call them and ask them to hold me a seat, just in case it turns out being another huge line. I don't like lines. And I always tip them for the kind gesture.

I arrive in the middle of level 2. I haven't lost much. I draw a pretty aggressive table, but with no one very good. The problem is that I am getting NO good cards to play. Its level four before I finally win a hand...which I have to bluff to win. Whats good though, is that I was building an incredible table image, so when I did start raising with shit like 33/66/A10 and re-raising all in with 88 against a button raiser, everyone was folding...so at least NO ONE was looking me up when I was jamming with my puny stack.

Then we get to 500/1000. I am in the SB with 9000. Cutoff raises t0 3500. I look down at AKh. I literally say "well, this is the best hand I've seen in two hours...I am ALL IN!" I push my chips forward, my cards laying next to my chips. BB folds. And what happens next causes a shit storm. The dealer MUCKS MY HAND! Yep. MUCKS IT! I sit there...in shock..."dude! Um..where are my cards? Are you kidding me!???" I have never, in over 2000 poker tourneys in my life, had that happen to me. The whole table was shocked. THE DEALER was shocked. I could tell he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He called the floor. Now I have SEEN this happen before, and usually what happens is that the player is shit out of luck. In fact, I am quite certain I saw it happen to a guy here last summer. A nice old man, in the 10 seat, who the dealer killed HIS hand...and he was knocked out. He took it really well too. Maybe it was at the Beau Rivage..in fact, yeah...it was.

Well, the floor ruled that my hand was indeed dead, but that I would retain my all in chips, just relinquishing my SB (500). But now I was on ultra tilt. Granted, the BB folded K8. The guy was raising he said with 66. So I was only drawing to 5 outs. It maybe have been fate how it happened. At least, that was how I was starting to feel after the next two hours. On the very NEXT hand...It folded around to me on the button, and I SHOVED with 910 offsuit. I would have NEVER done that, but I was like...SCREW THIS! The SB wakes up with KK. Oh wonderful! I start to put all my stuff in my bag as the flop comes out J-8-3. Nothing on the turn...I am walking away when I see the Q hit the river. Ohhhhhhhh! Double up to 14k. A few hands later, I am in the BB...with AQs. Guy raises from MP. Guy on the button flats the raise of 3500. I move all in. First raiser calls immediately. Uh Oh! Second guy folds...67c...which would have hit a flush. I am praying for him to have JJ. Nope. AK. The worst thing to see. Until the dealer puts a Q on the flop! And it holds. Wow!!!!! Now up to 32k! Above the AVERAGE! And our table breaks!

I go to a new table. After about 5 hands...John Pack raises from early position. The guy behind him SHOVES ALL IN for 35k! I am in the SB and look down at AA! Are you kidding me!??? Don't we all just dream about this? I call, duh...and John folds...the guy has AQc. Flop comes A-4-7....and doesn't improve for him...and now I am sitting on over 65k!

I pick up two or three good hands that I raise with only to get guys shoving 20k+ back and me..to which I reluctantly fold...one of those guys would be the eventual DONKEY FROM HELL...and now I wish I would have made the loose call earlier against when I had the chance with hands like AJd and KQh.

We go on dinner break...with 133 players left, and the average at 58k...and me having 58k. I am happy but not by any means feeling safe yet. Long way to go. I go out into the courtyard of the Venetian. I am feeling REALLY tired and decide to try and take a little nap. I set my alarm on my phone...and as I am JUST falling asleep two security people come and wake me up...thinking I think that I was a homeless person or something. "Are you okay sir?" Well, I was until you woke me up! Can a brother take a nap on his dinner break!?? There is no sleeping allowed here sir. Ughhhh!

Return from dinner break. Pick up JJ...raise. Guy in big blinds re-raises me 4 times my raise. SHIT! I fold. Pick up KJ suited at cutoff. Raise. Guy reraises me huge. Fold again. Dammit! Now down to about 42k. Not liking how this is going. While all this going on we are getting one misdeal after another. Floor has been called to our table about 4 times. It is just bizaar-o day at the Venetian. I can only think (and hope) that this is due to the dealers just being tired from working too many hours.

The guy behind me is a clown. He never raises...just MOVES IN. He moves in on John Pack for 14k. John calls with QQ. The guy has 10-4. He flops 10-4-2. I folded 10-2. John takes it like a man. I Facebook him an update, sending my condolensces. The same donkey would later SHIP IT with A10, getting called by SB shortstack with KQ. K on the flop. So now...its a little later. I am at cutoff and look down at AA again! I am praying that this donkey moves all in behind me. He doesn't. Damn! I raise to 6k...from 1 and 2k blinds. And then it happens....the idiot to my left utters those words we all just LOVE to hear...."Ughhh.....ahhhh...I'll gamble here..." and MOVES ALL IN for 45k! Fold, fold, fold..back to me....I call. He sees my AA and grunts...I see his K10c and I grunt. Oh no. KING FREAKING TEN. Always KING TEN. And what happens next?

FLOP......10-8-10. You have got to be kidding me. Once again. MotherIU!&*( King ten kills me again! So instead of sitting on well over 95k...and being around 30 from the money...I make my exit. Certain that fate had smiled on me today...after that AK mucked hand deal...and finding AA behind a ridiculous all in...then getting a loose shove holding AA again...but NO...ONCE AGAIN, the Poker Gods take K10 and shove it up my ass! I walk out of Venetian at 9:45....hating POKER again. Tired as a guy can be. Sad, dejected....miserable. Send out my updates. Get the usual "holy shit man, thats terrible" responses....and go to my hotel.

Walking in it is a see of good times, gaggles of girls in their themed outfits for either batcherette parties or birthday parties, hookers running around everywhere, guys bellering in their drunken states...yep, Saturday night in Sin City...and all I wanted to do was go upstairs and hide in my blankets. Which is what I did. I was asleep by ten, and just woke up...12 hours later. And now...here it is 11:15am...and I still don't know what I should do today, play for big money, and put $1000 of my bankroll in jeopardy, or go to the pool and try to clear my mind of everything bad? I want to play in a total of $22,500 Rio Events...which I think are 5 or 6 $1500 events, and the Main Event over the next three weeks. Which is why winning one of the last two events would have been so key. So to do that, I need to make a big score...and today's event would certainly be a good place to make that happen, wouldn't it? I should probably go play it.

I did get some sleep, so I am fresh finally. And I am playing really well, I think. If I could just avoid these assclowns. Kai seems to have had a really bad day yesterday, playing the $1500 Rio stud tourney. He has been Facebook'ing me with some crazy ass tyranical shit the last 12 hours. I fear for SOMEONE's life! I don't know...I am going to stomp around up here for another 10 minutes and make my decision. Plus...it would be nice to report something big for all of you out there. Something better than....'spent the day at the pool looking at topless women.' Although, some of you might actually prefer THOSE stories to the poker stories!!!! Squirrel is coming in a week, and I NEED to make some money...some REAL money...I have a feeling I am leaning towards playing the 1k today at Venetian!

MONKEY