First ever Blog from MIDAIR!!!!

This was written from 30,000 feet and is being posted! Nice! Technology RULES!

“The cool kids club” Who wants to ‘really’ be a member? It’s a funny thing about human beings. Success tends to breed a sense of entitlement in people. The more people succeed in a particular field the more they feel they are entitled to certain things. One of those things, I suppose is a different brand of people.

I notice a trend developing among the people I tend to associate with. I can’t decide if I think its disturbing or not. I was forced to address once again on our last night in Aruba. Joe and I, along with his buddy Steve decided to hit a little Italian joint along the beach for a late dinner. About the time we were finished eating we got a text from Dave Fox, asking where we were and what we were doing. Told him. He let us know he was at this place called the Screaming Eagle on Eagle Beach…which as it would turn out was a very cool restaurant. Nice décor, good wine list, really nice. Well, there was a large group of poker players and some wives over there.

We arrived, and their table was right smack in the middle of the dining room. About 18 of them. And there was my friend Allie Prescott, along with Liv. Others present included Matt Brady, Matt Bryant, Layne Flack and others you may or may not know. What happened next caused me to start thinking to myself….”Hmmm…what the fuck! Should this be pissing me off?”

Couple things here. At the risk of sounding petty, sometimes its best to just say nothing. I mean, how do I come off on this type of topic? Does it matter? I don’t know. I just find humans to be incredibly ridiculous sometimes, and I guess when I am done with this it will start to make a little more sense.

Now 24 hours prior to this I sat at the bar at the UB party talking with Allie. One of his quotes was “Gosh Monkey, its nice to finally sit and hang out and talk to you. We didn’t get to spend any time together on this trip.” Really? Didn’t GET to? Okay, well, I specifically recall NOT playing poker for 3 entire days on this trip. And my whereabouts were very well documented. I was very much available to ‘hang out’ with friends on this trip. So I guess walking into this dinner party and seeing him there with all these ‘friends’ was kind of irritating. When the dinner plans were being made, I guess the thought never crossed his mind to ‘call Monkey and see if he wants to join us’ for dinner. After all, he DID manage to snap off a call to me a couple months ago for me and Squirrel to drive over to New Orleans to join to him and Liv for a night of dinner and drinks to celebrate her ‘Tour of America.’ So that was rolling around in the back of my head as the three of us sat down at the bar and looked at the people at the table, including Allie. Two seconds later I see him peer over at us. Okay, acknowledgment of our presence.

Then I sat there and grew more and more incensed as 17 minutes elapsed. Joe could tell I was kind of pissed. He, in fact, nailed it on the head. One of things I like a lot about Joe Cutler. He is very intuitive and picks up on the simple shit. He made a quip like ‘Oh gosh, I guess we fall short in the bracelet category to get invited to this dinner party, Monkey.” And yeah, that pretty much summed up what I was feeling.
Well when Allie did finally make his way over to the bar, I was kind of at my ‘ready to get the fuck outa here’ point, and Joe knew it, and had no problem complying. So I literally addressed Allie with “Well, hello Mr. Prescott, that only took ya 17 minutes.”

Now does this make me a bit of a prick? I don’t know. Maybe. But you know what? I don’t give a shit how many fucking bracelets you win. How much money you win. None of that counts for shit with me. If you are my friend, then you know what? You are my friend and deserve to get treated with respect and how I would want YOU to treat ME. So, had the shoe been on the other foot…had I been out with 18 people, say with Squirrel, and Allie and a couple of guys ambled in and sat at the bar…it would have taken me a maximum of 3 minutes to get up from the table and walk over to greet him. But that’s me. And I am trying not to believe that Allie isn’t the same way.

I just know that when I am in Vegas during WSOP…and at some other bigger events, and the ‘cool’ group of players who have made some major scores lately are around, my roster spot on the depth chart seems to be affected accordingly. And frankly, its bullshit.

Back in high school and I guess even before that, it was unfortunate, but your ‘coolness rating’ was often times determined by your scoring average or how many times you scored a TD. Having a hot cheerleader girlfriend didn’t hurt. To a certain degree, this still exists. And on some levels, its pathetic. We are poker players, and a lot of us were also good athletes when we were younger…so from a natural standpoint that we are super competitive, there is going to still be some of that pecking order bullshit.

However, maybe its because I have matured…or just figured out what REAL friends truly are all about. I know what I look for in a friend. I don’t like a person who kisses my ass and tells me I’m wonderful. IN fact, I hate those people. (well not hate….that’s silly. But they annoy the shit out of me) No quite the contrary, I prefer being around people who tell me how stupid I am. How bad of a player I am. How ugly I am. How fat I am. How nothing I say is intelligent. Yeah, and the types of friends I have…I tell them the same shit. If you can TELL me that, and it flies, then you are my friend. If it doenst fly, then you will know you aren’t. Period. If you are talking, talking, talking…and I never say anything back, in fact, I just look at you like a lion sits looking at a gazelle right before tearing its neck apart and devouring it…its probably because nothing you are saying is remotely funny, interesting, or useful. You should quit talking to me. Immediately, if not sooner. And go away.

Couple observations. Guys like Matt Brady…I don’t know. I like Matt. Not sure if he ‘likes’ me or not. I know we get along good. Dave Fox. I like Dave. He is one of the most likeable guys I know. And I don’t think there is one ounce of ‘uppity’ in him. I think I could win 10 bracelets in the next 5 years and he would treat me exactly the same way. A lot of people mumble a lot of shit about how certain players act after making a huge score. Some of it is just simply that, shit. When I hear rumors, and they involve my friends, I really don’t put a lot of stock into them, until I have a chance to make the personal assessment myself, or question them about it. Too many people like ‘taking shots’ at people for no other reason than that their own lives are fucking boring and they need to stir up some shit to give their lives more meaning or excitement. I wish those people would all just suck a big garden hose full of shit. I really do.

Let me bottom line this. When Monkey here finally wins something that the whole world knows about…and I will, I can make you a couple promises. (1) The friends who were my friends BEFORE I won…will still be there, if not more than before. (2) Taking on new friends will become very difficult, as my paranoid nature will constantly be telling me they are only interested in befriending me because it either makes them look better or they want something from me. (3) I will probably become a lot more reclusive. (4) I will definitely spend a lot more time with my wife and even go visit my family a lot more, and play a lot less poker. (5) There will probably be a lot more people calling me an asshole than there is today. Why? Because I am not real good at dealing with fake people. And I am not good at being fake. My wife? She is a lot better at it than most. She can charm the skin off a snake. I don’t know how she does it. She is amazing. Sometimes I just sit there and watch her operate and say to myself…”wow, that guy is the biggest fucking prick, and such a douchebag…and she HATES him…yet she is probably making him think she wants to leave me for him….incredible!”

I think I am done on this topic. I am actually writing this on my flight home. Why? Well, I was going to play some online poker…as they now have this wonderful wi-fi as you fly technology on board….or do they? Yeah, well, it didn’t work on the way down and its not working now…so I thought I would write a little bit about ‘friendship in life, and poker’ so there ya go. Hope you enjoyed that little story. Meanwhile…I’m hungry.

MONKEY

And BOOM! Flight attendant comes ripping up the aisle with that metal box of terror…the beverage cart…and my elbow just becomes another unwilling victim….thanks ladies! Nice pink sweatshirt. Lose a breast, take an elbow!