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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Day 5 in Phoenix

I get a Facebook message from dealer Tony Dick...saying 'I went 5 hours heads up with T.I.' today. Then I'm watching CNN and see that T.I. supposedly talked some joker off a rooftop in Atlanta. Um....Tony?


In case you didn't notice, I changed my entire website appearance. No I didn't really mean to. I was kind of experimenting, trying to 'grow' my web building abilities. Then I irretrievably altered it to how it looks now, but I actually kind of dig it.


Whats up with the lack of comments folks? I mean...nothing! For over two weeks. Almost depressing. Then again, after a record setting 7,998 hits last month (old record was 6,215) I am on pace for a very sub-par 3500-4000 hits this month. Suppose when there isn't any poker being played, the interest level just isnt there as much. Understandable.


So they dragged these dudes out of that hole in Chile finally, eh? And they were fighting over who got to stay down there the longest? Guessing their were a few guys down there who weren't all that excited to get back to the surface. Like, maybe the guy who was married, and had a mistress...and it was the mistress who showed up for the reunion. Can you say awkward!!?? Suffice to say, if this happens in the US, all of those miners become celebrities and probably get a reality show out of it. In Chile? Probably just go back to work on Monday. Sucks.

I see my web partners posted a Full Tilt spot that John Dolan and Racener (that freak) did. Um...John, you know I think you are a great guy...and I WILL BE rooting like hell for you to win this Main Event, buddy...but honestly, do you think they could have POSSIBLY done anything to make you look MORE like a deer in the headlights? Jeezuz. If you feel like hooking up with me before you go back for that large event in a month...and getting a little tutelage in the 'Final Table how to look funny and cool and marketable' department...you have my phone number and Facebook info. I'm here to help pal. [I know for a fact that my wife is reading this right now and rolling her eyes!]

John Racener appears to be the first November Niner to have a product endorsement hit the air. Fein Energy shot. CLICK HERE to see it. I don't know John all that well, though he is friendly with a bunch of guys I am friends with...and used to date some waitress we all met at Sapphire last summer, who also got a bit role in 'The Hangover;' she was the chick walking on the sidewalk who dude got on the cop's intercom and told she was hot. Remember? When they were driving around in the stolen police car? Anyway...John comes off a little monotone in this bit, and you would never know he is reading off of a script. (monkey sarcasm there) But I'm not hatin, he got PAID right!???

Vanessa shows up here today. Guess she has to do some kind of
GoDaddy.com appearance. Chad tried like hell to talk to our catcher's wife on the phone yesterday, trying to talk her into letting Terry Loe stay with the team for the rest of the week, and the playoffs...instead of going home for some function. Then...after finding out that her mother is a big poker player..offered her AND her mother a free trip to Vanessa's Boot Camp. Yes, I have that on videotape. No I am not posting it here. Mainly because Chad's efforts were unsuccessful. Our catcher left this morning.

Here is a team photo. I am in the back row...wearing #12.


If any of you are interested to check out all the 'going's on's' of this team...the history, how we got together, some of the players on the team...and a trailer of the movie that our coach Rick Cohen made last year...you can click here to check it out..... FADED GLORY.

After yesterday's lackluster performance in a game that started at 8am...that I was waken up for at 6am by my roommate, who has the early morning habits of a damn psychopathic caveman...we improved our record to 3-1, and have clinched a playoff spot. Big deal, 8 out of 10 teams make the playoffs. We play again tonight, at 7:30pm, in a very nice stadium. I now have 4 at bats. A pop out to 3rd. A fly out to center. A long fly out to lefft, that came 20 feet or so from leaving the park...and a bases loaded walk. I have not struck out. This was goal #1. The other goal was not embarrassing my family.

I have yet to work on my fall/winter tan. That will happen today. I ran an entire lap around the field yesterday prior to entering the game. I almost had a heart attack. Wow. I am a joke. And after all that cardio at home before I left?

Me and 4 teammates went to see 'The Social Network' last night. Had I not taken a pill before we went, I might not have dozed off during the movie. But in fairness to my level of alertness, had the movie been a 'thriller' think I would have stayed alert the whole time. It was a somewhat riveting movie, interesting...but pretty boring. Too much technical jargon, and the lead character was like an A.D.D. patient on crack. Justin Timberlake, and his character...were excellent.

After the movie there was a standup comedy act in my room with Chad, Matt Hillis, Rick Cohen, my roommate Jon, and this nutjob Justin from Detroit. Yes, I taped it. The new video camera is getting a very nice workout on this trip. Then Jon constructed me a salad here in the room. Yes...the team has taken to calling him 'Cutting Board' because he travels with cutting board and knife and fills the refridgerator with all kinds of items to make salads. (and it hurts his feelings when my Facebook status updates don't include mention of his salad presentations at 2am)

My favorite candidate for Democratic (Elaine Bennis aka Christine O'Donnell) office was at it again...this time in a debate against Chris Coons on CNN, and again...she gave us all a reason to ask ourselves and anyone else who will listen..."Who the hell is this lady, and who is she trying to kid?"

Went across the street and got a massage yesterday for 1.5 hours. No, you idiots, there was no happy ending. It only cost me $70...and it left me feeling wonderful.

My wife booked her flight, and Kai and I finally booked a hotel in Chicago...well, somewhere NEAR Chicago. It is called the DAYS INN BRIDGEVIEW...click the thing to see where it is and what it cost...in case you feel like being Kai and I's neighbor!

We won't be paying too much, and I suspect, we won't be recieving too much. But at least the logistics of the trip have been worked out. And Kai took care of securing us a car. So...here's the deal...I get into Chicago at 9pm Saturday night. The plan is to go to Rush Street, do some drinking/partying...check out the scene, get in about 3am, 'catch up' with my lovely wife....wake up around 10am...and go to Soldier Field for the Bears/Seahawks game at noon! Anyone that feels like joining us for this experience is invited to join us. If you don't have my phone number (which might suggest we aren't that good of friends...you can email me at ThePokerMonkey@aol.com) It would be nice if you KNOW for a FACT that I like you...at least a little bit.

I decided to play online poker the last few days...and as would be expected, I am running like shit. Two nights ago, I played 5 SNG's...cashed light in one...and BUBBLED (5th paying 4 spots) 3 times. The next night, I played in 6...and bubbled THREE of them. Then last night...playing in 5, I had the chip lead in FOUR of them...and was already in the money in the other...when I lost my connection...it took me 25 minutes to get it back...and finally when I did was only in two...one with 2 BB's, the other with a decent stack still, and won that one for $100. Decided to play one more, a $50 sng with 9 players. Paying three. Where did I finish? You nailed it. 4th! And that was a wrap.

Almost got a full night of sleep. Even told the roomate..."Dude, there is no game until 7pm tomorrow, I swear to god, if you wake me up again at 6am...I am going to get out of bed, pick up a bat, hit you in both knees...then as you fall to the floor I am going to pull down my pants and deficate on you. Then go back to bed." Well lucky me, he didn't pull his 'wake up act' until 8:20am...which I guess was okay. I felt I needed to blog anyway, and get my pools caught up. Last week's bloodbath in the NFL meant a LOT of people have been needing to get revived for this last week of rebuys. The prize pool in both my Survivor Pools ($25 version and $100 version) are now getting fairly substantial.

I miss my dogs. The other night...when my wife's Dad, who is visiting us from Florence (Alabama, not Italy...which is where my backer is right now) was coming in late from a poker session somewhere, my dogs, locked in the room with Squirrel, went berserk! Jasper, who always sleeps in my vacated spot when I am away, and always is positioned between my wife and the door....immediately positioned himself standing over her and started growling and barking like she had never heard him do before...when he heard the front door opening. She never felt so protected, but was also nervous that her Dad would erroneously open the bedroom door. It could have gotten really ugly.

"God help whoever decides to break into our house and hurt me! I swear, they will have to kill Jasper and Mollie to get to me." That's my good dogs! It's good to know they have my back while I'm outa town.

'Its MYYYYY money, and I wannnnnt it now!!!!" How much do I hate that commercial? You have no idea. Almost as much as the lead in to all these new Geico commercials with the guy and his slicked back hair...."is Ed Too Tall Jones....too tall?" (with that stupid eyebrow arched) Every time I see this dumbass commercial with these people yelling out their window about wanting their money, I harken back to my fledgling acting career...recalling commercial shoots, when you have to do take after take of a scene. How annoying would that commercial have been to shoot?

"Okay, that was pretty good...but it just wasn't that convincing. Take two...this time with a little more emphasis on MY MONEY!!!! Ya feel me? Annnnnnddddd action!!!" If I were the camera man on that shoot, I would very likely have ended up walking off the set.

Okay and while we are it...we have our new 'Free Credit Score' morons. They had a contest for what? A year? To select the new singers to replace the old annoying singers. And these are the clowns they came up with it?

Some guy in Ireland had a website he created called http://www.ihateryanair.com/ and was posting on it pretty regularly...until the UK ordered him to take it down. Got me to thinking about doing something like that to honor my love for Delta Airlines. I hate Delta Airlines. If anyone walks up to me and tells me "Hey Monkey...thought I should let you know that I work for Delta...." you are probably going to get punched in the face, maybe even kicked in the nuts.

I am really enjoying my new glasses. Being able to see well is awesome.

On CNN right now there is a National Political Correspondent who's name is Jessica Yellin. And guess what? She is not soft-spoken...not at all, in fact, its almost as if she is yelling. Hmmmm....appro-po?

Hey would anyone like to join me for a trip down on the Texas-Mexico border for some jet skiing? Seems like a good time.

Is that enough for today you Monkey Blog Addicts? Can I go out to the pool and work on my tan now? Okay...I will take that as a yes.

Monkey

3 comments:

hippy daddy said...

Hi Will. Here's a comment for you! Totally forgot about Matt Hillis. That dude could hit like a mother fucker. He was a stud. And...speaking of your hatred for airlines...United fucked with one of my clients guitar players. And...we let 'em have it. This not only got 10 million views...it was all over CNN, every network, The Today Show, you name it. Enjoy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

Paul said...

Ok Monkey seriously....I did not read past word 1 of your latest blog and I really wanted to BUT the FONT COLOR IS AWFUL!!!!!

You finally make your blog look professional and then make it unreadable BY USING SOME LIGHT ASS COLOR!
Sorry for the caps man but please go with black type.

Peace,

Paul

Stephanie said...

Hey Monk,

Just read your article in Ante Up Magazine....Very Cool!! Congrats on your success!