Main Event....Day 1 Survival.

Before I go any further....this just has to be watched.

Ladies and gentleman...how proud are YOU to be an American?
This was taken from the news in Huntsville, Alabama...and oh yeah, I should let you know, it is the NUMBER ONE Halloween costume right now.....called: BEDROOM INTRUDER......CLICK HERE!

And then fish around on YouTube a little more and you will find the song that someone made off of it. Dig a little deeper and you will find the interview, a follow up, with 'ol Antoine...and see just how idiotic a human being can actually sink to. I am amazed that I live among these people.

Moving on. If you are at all interested/curious to follow along with the LIVE REPORTING of the WSOP Main Event in CHICAGO...click this big ass sentence. I have aparantly finally arrived in the poker mainstream...since they have got my name on the chipcounts...as they have only listed about 30 players among the remaining 162 going back for Day 2 today. (paying 90) Granted they have me only having 29,000. I surely thought they would have updated with all the chipcounts as well as seat assignments...but they havent.

Day 1 was pretty exciting. I walked in about 11:15am...and there was the 'line from hell' about 125 deep. Luckily I was already registered, and had a great seat draw....table 46, seat 6. Right in the middle of the massive 'Venue.' I went and met Frank and Piper Kasella for breakfast and was introduced to Frank's cousin, who I think was named Brian. Turns out his seat was right next to mine.

I get to my table...and there is only 4 of us. We take turns stealing the dead stacks' money. After about 30 minutes we had a full table. And I noticed immediately that my table sucked. Then I noticed Frank's cousin was completely clueless...so much so that it was painful to watch. He checked OUT of the big blind on three seperate occasions when people limped into his blind. Had to constantly be reminded that it was his turn...not knowing the one chip rule on raises...one thing after another. Misplaying one hand after another. It sucked too, cuz he was a really nice guy...and a fireman up here in Chicago, which I really respect a lot. I wanted to help him, and coach him up a little...and I did try to when he got down below 10 BB's and was no longer a threat to kill my stack...but he still persisted in sticking to his habits...once limping on the button for 500 with only 4000 in his stack, with 55. He happened to catch a flop of A-5-4...so it worked out pretty well for him.....but, well, I think you all know what kind of a shitshow I am painting for you. He got knocked out around Level 8.

I got a lot of good hands early. Did a lot of raising, and a lot of bluffing. I got from 20k up to 40k pretty quickly. Then...with a very aggressive guy at my table raising my BB, which he seemed to do about 75% of the time...and another aggressive player calling him...I decided to flat with KK. The flop came 10-8-6. I decide to try and check raise. Only they both check behind. A five hits the turn. I bet out. First guy folds. Second guy calls. Hmmm. River was a 3. I bet again. A decent amount. He just calls again...and turns over 55. For a set. Shit!

Then I limp with QJ. A shorter stack raises a little bit. I call. Flop comes 10-9-6. Nice. And since he only had 5100 remaining...check raising wasn't really an option, since he would likely bet so much he would pot commit himself, or he would just shove...so I did the betting for him...putting him all in. He calls of course and shows A10. Great. But I was liking my 14 outs...all of which I missed, and there went another 6k.

Then I had two great suckouts. Guy to my right...a nice guy from Belarus named Max...raised at cutoff, and I re-raised him on the button with AJ. He just called. The flop came K-Q-5. He checked. I checked. Turn was a 3. He bet....but not much. I called. I river a 10, for the nuts. He bets 3000. I raise to 6500. He calls, and turns over a set of K's. Wow. Nice pot. Now I was back up over 40k and chipleader at my table.

Enter....'The Donkey'

The guy in the 4 seat...who had been playing pretty tight all day. He suddenly decided to rear his donkey head around Level 8. Sitting on 8200 chips with the blinds at 200/400 with a 50 ante...he limps in for 400. This guy is a limping FOOL...limping with almost EVERYTHING...including 88, AQ, AK, 1010, JJ, 55.....and on this occasion KQ. Offsuit. Guy to my right, who was probably the 2nd or 3rd best player on the table...also calls. I look down at AA...and decide I am going to raise, but not too much...as I have a big stack, and want to put myself in position to maybe get into someone. So I only raise it to 1500...which is still quite a bit. It folds around to Donkey Boy...who makes the call. Max folds.

The flop comes K-9-2. He checks. I look at his stack and bet 80% of it...which is akin to me putting him all in. He probably fails to put this together in his brain and was only focused on check-raising me all in...because that was what he did. Of course I called...and watched him turn over KQ...just happy that it wasn't K10...but when the dealer laid a Q on the river...I just sank in my chair...and watched 8k go the other way. I could feel about 3 or 4 of the players just watching me...waiting for the meltdown...but I never said anything.

But what happened in the next three hours just made me sick. This guy went on to put on a masterful display of 'How to Get It In Bad Over and Over, Keep Winning, By Virtue of the Ugly Suckout, and Sending One Player after Another to the Bathroom to Throw Up,' sure to be a poker movie one day. He limps with Q9. Guy raises with KK. He calls. Flops trip 9s. Guy raises in Early position with AJ. He calls with A9. Flop comes J99. Think you know how that one ends. And it was just over, and over. He had the whole table just shaking their heads in disgust.

When you sit and watch that...you start to feel hopeless, like its only a matter of time before he does it to you. Well...this guy in the 2 seat lost a huge pot to this clown...and on the very next hand...just shoves 18k when we were at 400/800. I have 45k...and look down at 10-10. Oh no! He then tells us he is on tilt...which translates to either "I'm on tilt and just steam shoved with two face cards" or "I'm pretending to be on tilt and just picked up a huge hand and how great will this look to the rest of the table!???" Well, I decided to make the call...and he turns over....ya ready???

Drum roll please..............................

Oh you know this one...........................

E-L D-I-A-B-L-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KING TEN!!!! SATAN!!!! THE BLACK CLOUD!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!

And just as in the movie "To Kill A MonkeyBird" the dealer puts out a flop of A-Q-J....HOLY SHIT! But as I pick myself up off the floor, I see a K hit the river for a chopped pot!!!! Woooo-hoooooooooooo!!!! Hey, maybe I am not done here!!! Boy did that feel great!

Then about 5 hands later, that table broke, and I was ecstatic! Getting away from DonkZilla was just what the PokerGods had ordered.

But now I get moved to a table that is overflowing with chips. And filled with the largest collection of zero-personality players I think I have sat with in ....well, maybe ever. I mean, these guys were just complete DUDS! And sitting at the top of the food chain was this little 21 year old twerp named Ryan...who's M.O. (thats modus operandi for you stupid people) was to ask each and every player who raised behind him..."How much are you playing behind?"

After awhile I finally started busting his balls...requesting him to put his large colored chips out front for starters.

"Why? Why do I have to do that?"

Yeah, I know because on the internet they don't make you do that. Also on the internet they tell you EXACTLY how many chips everyone has...and I don't think the shock of sitting at the table and NOT having that information immediately available had worn off for 'Scooter' over there. I tried really hard to befriend the little punk...but it just wasn't possible. Don't get me wrong, I didn't berate the little guy or argue with him...I just made his life as difficult as I could. And when he did finally get around to giving me a much needed double up...when his 6c9c failed to connect with one of 12 outs...when I flopped top pair top kicker and he flopped four to the flush with a gutshot after calling my raise holding that gem...I thanked him for his much-needed call and subsequent double up, and was on to the next table after that one broke.

The next table wasn't quite as boring, and actually had the current chipleader at it, sitting to my immediate left. I picked up a couple pots in the last level, but mostly sat there folding for an hour and enjoying a couple of frosty MGD's which I was paying $3 a pop for. This on the heels of the 17 bottles of water I drank all day long...which had me running back and forth to the bathroom all day. But water is good for you right? And I am back on my 'Super Killer Acai Diet Plan' that is cleansing my system and hopefully going to lead to me losing about 25-30 lbs in the next month or two.

We bagged our chips...I found Kai...chatted with some buddies in the poker room, entertained thoughts of playing a SNG...changed my mind on that one...and finally left with Kai back to the hotel. Started to write this last night...but was just too tired, and passed out.

Once again, playing Main Events...is extremely exhausting, both mentally and physically...and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. By the way, I have to say, the folks here at the Ramada are really treating us great. I love the room, they pretty much give us everything we need, its just a short 4 mile drive to the casino, and the price is right. I couldn't be happier with the accomodations.

Big day today in college football...with undefeated Auburn and LSU taking on each other. The barbs are flying all over my Facebook. As for what Alabama needs/wants to happen today? I am not sure it really matters...I think it would serve them best though if the game was close...a blowout lowers the value on a win against one of the two teams. So you want Monkey's bold prediction? First, I predict Alabama avenges Tennessee's near upset last year by blasting the Vols. Then...I think Auburn will beat LSU by a score of about 24-20. As for my Huskies today? I fully expect them to go down to Tucson and get killed by Arizona. Go ahead Dawgs, surprise me, I dare ya!!!!

My little sister is coming down from Milwaukee today to play some satellites. In fact, she should just about be here I think...might have to go grab some lunch with her. How sweet would it be if she somehow won her way into the 10k event? Wouldn't be too sweet if she does and I dont! My worst nightmare is making the Final Table tomorrow...then only getting 7th-9th...missing out on all the 10k Mega satellites, and having to decide what to do about playing Monday...as a straight buy in would eat up most of what I just won. I guess I will worry about that little problem if it happens, right? Who knows, I could be out today in the first hour and it will be a moot point.

Does that cover everything? I think probably. Kai is out of the main. Dan Walsh is out. Smiling Don is still in. Gabe is out. Claudia is still in...she lost a big pot near the end of the night with AK against AQ...but still has a big stack, but of course, she's pissed because she would have been in the Top 5. Lots of good players still remain...and a lot of players were knocked out, including Chad Brown...who just got in yesterday. Frank also got knocked out...with KK...but his wife Piper is still alive! Should be an interesting Day 2.

I'm out!

Monkey