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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Last Day In Vegas...What a Week!!!

Okay, finally I have gotten a moment to breathe. This past week has been a whirlwind. I am always amazed how, after a long stretch of poker tourneys...I can lay down in my hotel room bed, rent a movie...this time 'The Hangover II' (finally!) and fall asleep less than halfway through it...and wake up the next day at 1pm. Wow.

My plan tonight is to go back and play the nightly at Venetian, like I did last night, after losing the 2pm $235 and the 3pm $70 at Caesar's. Boy were those two events a joke. I'm not sure what the deal is with the players they get at Caesar's but they are very distinctive in their abilities, a clear style that is defined by showing you things in poker you never imagined you would see. In the 2pm, I got off to a very good start, taking advantage of guys who were excellent at paying off. But then I watched this moron from Idaho...who had his stupid dog (Maltese I think) with him under the table in a dog carrier...make one stupid play after another and winning, of course.

"Not sure why I played this hand in the first place, but I guess it worked out." This uttered after he busted a guy's AA with 4-7. At one point he claimed "Don't worry, I will give them away just as quick as I got them." Really? He might have...but it was after he busted me with 3-7. Me with Q-10 on a flop of J-9-10. Yeah...he check raised me. Went runner-runner 7-7 when he was going for a lousy bottom straight. Nice play jacktard.  Then in the 3pm deal...which I only played because it was there...I got $3000 in chips, with the blinds at 200/400. I doubled up with AK vs AJ. Then lost half of it with A7 vs. 67. Then got it back with AQ vs. K7. It was just a was pretty hilarious actually. So when this doofus didn't shove...and just raised...I looked at 10-10 in the BB...and I shoved. He called with A8. He turned an ace (obviously) and I was done at Caesar's. Bye guys.

Hopped in the rental car and went shopping at the Outlet mall. Had very little success. Why? Because I have the body of a freak. Ever go shopping looking for jeans in size 40/34? Try it. You will fail. Ever look for the size 3X-Long? Good luck. Walking around that mall did managed to cause a terrible pain to develop in the middle of my back, however. And right about that time...I start passing all those little temporary massage kiosks they have set up, with the dude or chick barking at you about the wonderful benefits of their massage station. The little tanning bed-looking thing you lay in and let water pelt the shit out of you. The chair you sit in and and let massage you. The dudes with their electrodes-styled massage device that I already bought this summer at Rio and discovered it was more annoying than anything. The dude with the massage table/chair thing with the hole you put your face in. I passed on all of them.

The only thing I purchased was a new pair of boxer shorts and a couple pair of new flip flops. Then today...laying here in the wonderful comfort of my hotel room bed, I got online and ordered 4 new pair of jeans and 3 new shirts from I know my wife will bristle at this latest purchase, but it simply had to be done. Sick of sitting for countless hours at the poker table being uncomfortable as hell because my jeans are too damn tight.

Walking around that mall was good for another thing. Loving my life. As depressed as I get sometimes, as down in the dumps as running bad in poker can get...I was observing these people who work at the mall and I just wanted to cry. For them. Those kiosk mutants have it the worst, by far. Waiting for someone to establish momentary eye contact with them so they can pounce. "Sir! (ha ha caught you looking my way!!!) can I show you this....blah blah blah" whatever the rest of the presentation is. Or walking into any store and getting that patronizing "How are you today sir!?? What can I help you find!?? I have to let you know, we are running a special promotion today that.......blah blah blah." It's both annoying and depressing. And you can't just tell them to fuck off. That wouldn't be very nice. I mean, you WANT to, right? Of course you do. And do they REALLY care what kind of day I'm having? 

Sometimes it would be fun to just TELL THEM what kind of day I'm having, and see how they respond. Yeah..betcha you hadn't asked me how my day is going now, don't you? Shop monkey? (no offense to myself)

After shopping I went to Outback Steakhouse. I hate that they don't have Sweet Ice Tea west of the Mississippi River. So I went with Coke. Bad, bad, Monkey. Ordered their chicken and artichoke flatbread. It was burnt. I could tell by the look on the bartender's face when I asked if it was supposed to be this dark and taste so smoky that she KNEW it was burnt and was trying to sneak it by me. It got replaced. Next, my ribeye, which I had ordered MR, but asked for it on the rare side...since the last few times I have ordered a steak MR it always comes out over cooked. Well this one came out almost raw. Well, at least it can be fixed. It went back. Came back perfect, and was really good. About that time, they tell me they're comping my whole meal!! Really? I didn't think that was necessary, at all. Actually felt a little guilty. Left a $10 tip and headed for Venetian.

It was a relatively small field. Only 79 players. I got off to a decent start. And then, I finally got my chance to set up the guy I will simply call..."Mr Annoying." This guy has been bugging me all week. His play is very erratic. And he is guaranteed to raise if a bunch of people limp. But the one thing he does that really drives me that he qualifies as one of my least favorite players at a table on the basis of being one thing...THE GUM CHEWER. Here you go.

So I look down at pocket aces under the gun with the blinds at 100/200. This is a nightly. There is no other play here other than limping in and hoping for a raise by someone. I limped for 200. I get 5 other limpers. Uh-Oh! Well, my little gum-chewing friend helped me out, he raised it. How much? Oh...just made it 1200. I love it. I gambled. Any re-raise by me here would have shaken him off the limb, so I played it coy and smooth called, which resulted in two other clowns calling. We have been seeing a ton of this here this week. Yesterday at Caesar's I limped with KK utg...then; when a guy went all in for 1900 (blinds at 100/200) I re-raised it to 3575...only to have this idiot who had limped for 200 smooth call the 3575. Fortunately he didn't hit whatever miracle he needed to hit and I whacked the guy who shoved with J10 offsuit.

So yeah...we take four to the flop at 1200 per. It comes J-9-4. Dingleberry checks. I lead for 2200. First guy folds. Guy on button calls. Dingleberry calls. Turn is a 3. Checks to me, I bet 3500. Button calls. Dingleberry finally folds. River is another 9. At this point I am putting the knothead on the button on KJ. So I decided to make a nice little value bet...putting 4400 on the river. He calls. Sees my AA and gives that reaction that people give when they feel like they got caught jerking off by their grandparents. I love handing that feeling off to people.

I will just cut to the chase on the nightly...since, well, it was a nightly. We got to the Final Table...and people started whining for the $20-to-the-bubble donation. I have become very 'anti-pay the bubble' lately, but I wasn't going to be the one to harp on it. Leave it to the pompous little Seth Green-looking asshole on my left...who completely turned the whole table against him with his whole presentation on why he wouldn't be a part of such a 'scheme' to pay the bubble. When it comes to 'eloquently stating your case' this guy could take a few lessons from....well, anyone! He was overly enamored with his current chip lead...which would evaporate, and he would eventually be eliminated 5th...which caused the other 4 players (including myself) to smirk.

The final four players were all pretty nice guys, and relatively decent players. This old guy on my right was being a little too liberal with his thieving of my big blind...but I kept waking up with non-defendable hands so it was kind of a moot point. Finally though, I caught him...or thought I had. He raised me again. And I re-raised what I thought was enough to put him all in with 88. But it was actually about 17k short. So it created an awkward situation when I turned over my hand thinking he was all in. The flop came J-10-10. I wasn't folding to his bet...since there was about 160k in the pot. He checks, I put him all in...and he calls with A6. Did I fade the ace? Did I eliminate him and take over the chiplead 3-handed? No. To both. He rivers a jack, to counterfeit my pair. You gotta be kidding me.

I would double on the next hand with just a little over 2 BB's....then jam with A4 and A10 on back-to-back hands to get back to 80k...and started thinking I might be okay. Well, old dude raised me again in the BB...and I shoved on him with A7d. Shit! This time he had something....pocket jacks. And they held. I was out 4th...picking up $1069. Oh well.

And damn...just like that, its 20 till 7pm and I have to get over to Venetian. I was trying to upload the video of that schmuck but the upload time is really slow on my Verizon wireless card. So I will have to add it later. 

Oh...I have a TON of shit to share with you guys. It's been a pretty comical week. And yes, I am tremendously fired is my wife, over the events of this past college football weekend. When 'Bama lost to LSU, and she was depressed for three days, I tried to tell her that all hope was not lost. I furthered that by telling her that I thought there was a little challenge being issued by a higher power. It just wouldn't make sense for that LSU loss to spell the end of what I think will go down as a magical year for Alabama. The city of Tuscaloosa has had to overcome so much since April. It just couldn't end like that. So when Stanford lost to Oregon, then Oregon lost to USC...when Oklahoma State lost on the road at Iowa State...and Oklahoma got beat by Baylor...well, we are left with LSU, Alabama, and Arkansas as the top three teams in the SEC West...AND in the BCS rankings, virtually guaranteeing a BCS title game matchup of 2 of those three teams.

Even though Bama lost to LSU and beat Arkansas...I still hope Bama gets another shot at the Superdome, on January 9th...for all the marbles. Only one team stands in the way...pesky and annoying Auburn, whom I hope Bama remembers what happened to them last year. Destroyed Auburn and (S)Cam Newton in the first half...only to fall asleep in the 2nd half and let them escape with a win, en route to the National Title. Not again...NOT AGAIN!

This buddy of mine had me put in a $100 money-line parlay bet for him out here at the Sportsbook. Virgina (who upset Florida State) and Kansas State (who upset Texas) was a $100 wager to win $2710. How sick is that? Wish I had piggybacked a hundo on that one, too. 

I still plan on giving you guys a whole rundown on that 2nd place finish in the $350 a few days really was pretty entertaining, and I have some good photos from it, too. But be patient. In another day or two...I will have a solid week to get totally caught up on everything. 


1 comment:

Paul said...

Good for you on the hit Monkey.
I had to post because I f'n HATE THE CUD CHEWER!!!

He looks like a cow or a lamb chewing on grass with the jaw just swinging down like Droopy Dog every time he chews.. Dumb fuck.

Happy Thanksgiving.