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Saturday, September 22, 2012

Last Longer for Casey Jones....

It's 4pm. I'm sitting at my favorite little grub hangout in the lobby at the Horseshoe in Bossier City, 'Burger Bar.' They have, quite possibly the most amazing Macaroni and Cheese on the planet Earth. It contains Andouille sausage...reallllllly healthy stuff. Whatever, its freaking incredible. Now, the only problem with this place, is the service. It is almost always subpar and quite frequently horrendous. It was bad last year, and its nearly worse this year. When, on my first visit of this trip, I was seated at the bar for 17 minutes (yes, I'm that guy!) without as much as a greeting, or a "I'll be with you in a minute" a manager finally picked up on my aggravation and asked if I'd been helped.

"Uh....no, no I haven't. And I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes now. Though I must say...I think I've been caught up with all the gossip that's going on here with the staff."

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry sir...what can I do for you?" I quickly rattled off my whole order, and in the middle of that process, along comes this very average-looking waitress, who had already previously zoomed right by me about 8 times like I was invisible and interrupted her manager:

"Heyyyy....wouldn't you rather have me waiting on you? I'm a lot cuter!"

Hmmm. So many possible responses here. For those of you who know me well, you can probably guess two or three of them, right?

1) If I was here to meet girls, I would have already left.
2) I think I will go with the uglier of my choices, since he seems interested in actually feeding me.
3) Is the way you 'look' somehow going to affect the flavor and preparation of my meal? Sweetie?

Whatever. The bottom line, was it was offensive. She was pretty much objectifying her existence by suggesting that any amount of horrible service could be overlooked simply because she was what she deemed herself,  a cute girl. Well, sorry...but it doesn't. Not all of us men are heathens who come to a dining establishment with the hopes of hooking up with a chubby little 18 year old who is wearing shorts that are two sizes too small.

Has anyone else pretty much come to the conclusion that Mitt Romney has no chance in hell of beating Barack in the upcoming election? I can't believe we're going to have to watch that weasel party on the taxpayers dollars for another four years. But what I'm wondering....is since it seems 85% of his current term was spent fundraising for his re-election campaign...what in the hell will he do if he gets re-elected? Maybe...just maybe...he will actually devote some time to fulfilling the duties of the office of the president? Maybe?

Can you imagine how annoying it is to play poker on top of a boat in the still 90-degree Louisiana summer? How bout the two flights of stairs you have to march up and down to get there? It's bad enough that the fluctuation in temperature is as severe as going from the jungles of Nairobi (not sure if there are actually jungles in Nairobi, just going for the dramatic there) to the icebergs of Antarctica....but its never quite so noticeable as when you are either card dead as shit...or running like a blind three-legged dog. Does anyone know why they keep prisons so freaking cold? Speaking of prisons...I'm almost positive that the cast of characters at my noon $365 tourney table had a combined 20-25 years of time spent in a state facility of some sort. The reason, back to my point...is because when they are cold, they pull in, they ball up, they chill the hell out. Way out. But when its hot? They get irritated...and after a certain amount of time being irritated, the urge is to lash out. Maybe fight someone. Maybe that guy in the next cell who is always snoring decides to change the channel off of what you're watching in the main living area. And you happen to notice a pencil laying on the bench...from a guy who was playing scrabble or something.

With the sweat beading down your forehead...and Maury Povich and a band of skanks screaming and yelling about how their babies Daddy 'wont pay no supppote' you find yourself rising to your feet...grabbing that pencil...and jabbing it in the neck of that snoring son of bitch. Guards move in to pin you down, and subdue you....while dude bleeds all over the floor...a peaceful serenity washes over you...as you realize you are about to get moved to solitary confinement...which you happen to know is equipped with a remarkable cooling system.

Okay, I might have gone just a little overboard there with that graphic analogy, but I'm just tying to underscore my current level of anxiety that I'm experiencing while running like hell in this frigging tent!!! Ya feeling me? Just a wee bit?

***************************************************************

So I finished my little meal, went up to the tent...and attempted to finish this entry..but for some damn reason, after I got about 7 paragraphs in it wouldn't continue to scroll down on my iPad. So I was forced to wait until tonight to finish this entry.

Some good things happened while I was in between writing this post. Namely, I entered the 5pm $250  Mega Satellite with 141 other misguided souls...and somewhere around Level 5 learned that there would be 17 winners. I won't bore you with the details. I will simply tell you that I finally got a hand to hold up in a 3-way all in...winning with KK vs. AQ and 9-10. And then I had one critical suckout...winning with A10h vs. AK...flopping a ten and getting it to hold. Remarkable. I would squeak into the seat...finishing with a mere 6 big blinds and watching on the other table as this poor schlub moved all in with JJ...got called by AQ...and had an ace fall on the river to shatter his dreams and fulfill those of 17 others. Sorry dude. Sucks. Welcome to poker!

It took over an hour for them to process all of us and get us registered for the Main Event, which starts tomorrow at noon...that is, if you are playing Flight A at noon. Otherwise...there is a Flight B that starts at 5pm...which hopefully I won't be needing to come near. I'm playing at noon...drawing my favorite...seat freaking 1. Not cool. Not cool. To combat the ridiculous weather conditions in that damn tent, I'm considering wearing shorts and a wife beater tomorrow, and bringing a change of clothes for when it invariably turns immediately into Green Bay in December.

I joined one of the guys who bought my 25 shares in this event for dinner at Binions steak house. Thanks to Mark Shreve for the awesome meal, the nice company, and the bottle of Mondavi Pinot Noir. It was easily the best meal I've had since I've been up here. Which isn't saying much...considering my main food stops have been Waffle House and the Burger Bar!

So...on a serious note...can we talk about the subject of my title today? For the past month, I have been trying very hard to raise money for the medical bills and costs associated with the passing of our friend Casey Jones. His two twin girls and wife were left with a lot of bills since they had no health insurance or life insurance. There has been a tremendous outpouring of financial support, through friends and family and fellow poker players...and even some not involved in poker or who even knew Casey at all. There are a lot of people out there with great hearts. Well...I had initially made an effort, along with a couple of other guys...to stage a charity tourney during this event to raise money for Casey's family. It wasn't able to be done...due to gaming commission regulations, was what I was told.

So....I came up with an idea. A lot of us have been doing 'last longers' during Main Events...usually for like, $100. I've organized a few of these, collecting the money, taking everyone's names...and making sure the winner got paid. I think I won it ONCE...during a spring event at the Beau Rivage. I thought it would be a really neat idea if we did this for Casey. I'm going to do a $100 Last Longer for In Memory of Casey Jones. Half of that money...will go directly to Casey's family. The other half, will go to the winner of the Last Longer. I think tomorrow morning, I am going to go find an Office Depot and buy a dry/erase board and pen....and get to the Horseshoe about an hour before the Main Event starts...and start taking names, and money...and put them on the board.

On a separate part of the board...I will list names of people who decide just to make donations to the family...and either post their name with the amount...or 'anonymous' if they wish to remain that way. As people are eliminated from the Main Event...I will ask them to come by the board and gracefully erase themselves from the board. After the contest is closed...which will be about two hours into Flight B...I will arrange for the Jones' share of the money to be given to his father Dennis. The other half, I will either hold onto...as long as I survive in the Main Event...or pass it on to a trustworthy participant or  staff member.

How to get in? Pretty easy. Just come find me. Give me your name, your money and your table and seat number. All of which will go on the board. Now...as there are TWO flights...this is important...IF you play Flight A...pay your $100...and bust...I know what your wondering; what if I decide to play Flight B?? Do I have to pay $100 again? The answer is 'NO!' Hey...its a last longer! You have to last longer than anyone in the tourney, right? Its all the same tourney! I mean...your punishment...is that you have to cough up another $1675 to play. But you need to come to the board (and/or me possibly) and get your name BACK on the board!

So...how many will we get? I have no idea. But since I posted this idea on Facebook this morning, I have already had a bunch of people tell me they are 100% on board and wanting to do it. And I am happy to announce that the first one to jump on board, and hand me his $100 was none other than Michael 'Carwash' Schneider. So...what do you all say? Shock me! I expect about ...mmmm.....I think somewhere between 450-600 players for the Main. Can we get 100 in the Last Longer? More? 100 would mean $5,000 to Casey's family. Not bad. And that would get them to their goal of $30,000 total raised. 

Alright...its after 1am. I am incredibly tired...and need some sleep. I was going to play the Main Event either way...since I sold out my 'Package #2' to the Main Event buyers...but what this win in the Mega means is that the people in Package #1 got a nice little infusion of prize money to go along with the Nightly win a few nights ago, the PLO Final Table money, one SNG win, and last nights Final Table money from the 7pm nightly again...where I got my 10-10 (running horribly with 10-10 this week) snapped by the eventual winner's AJ...turning a jack to eliminate me in 9th place.  So...again, I head into the Main Event on a positive wave of momentum. Just like in Vegas this summer. So....I'm ready to find a little run good tomorrow!!!

MONKEY

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