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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Hello SEPTEMBER! Goodbye Isaac! WTF, Clint!??

Yeah! Bring on September! Bring on football season! Bring on baseball's playoffs! Bring on perfect weather! Bring on WSOP-C Bossier City! It is officially my favorite time of year!


Tomorrow (or tonight I guess) night the Crimson Tide take on Big Ten wanna-be powerhouse Michigan...who comes in 13.5 pt underdogs...but with their fans talking a lotta shit. Bama, in its typical fashion is being very quiet, very professional...and I expect will come in and win in convincing fashion. Not sure about those 14pts...but I do not expect an upset. Roll Tide!


Isaac leaves us...finally! Three days of non-stop rain and wind were a trip. It looks like New Orleans dodged a major bullet. I wonder what would have happened had they not spent $14b rebuilding all their levees? Could have been lights out for the Big Easy. The good news? The midwest...in their worst drought in 60 years is currently getting drenched...and the Mississippi River, at its lowest level in decades...will likely be filled back up to a level that will get the barges moving again. Funny how mother nature sometimes just corrects all of the problems. So...thanks Isaac. My yard needed it too.

Who checked out the RNC? Yeah...me either. But I did check out Clint Eastwood's much-talked-about speech. And now...I discover his 'Eastwooding' is becoming a Tebow-like craze. And this pisses me off! Why? Some of you, who have played at a table with me...know why. Because I started doing this years ago. What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about speaking to a person in an empty chair. Example? Player who I couldn't stand all day long...who I thought played like shit...or just stupid, ends up donking off all his chips. I then spend the next few orbits talking to the player in the chair...even though he is no longer there.

"Hey! What are you doing? Didn't you forget to 4-bet squeeze right there on the button? No? Oh...I guess not...since you RAN OUT OF CHIPS!!!"

"Um...you know its my big blind this hand, right? Make sure you remember to min raise me again. Don't make me remind you!"

While this is going on...there is usually half the table that knows what I'm doing, and is laughing at my antics. Then there is the other half...who has no clue. They look at me like most of us look at the homeless guy walking down the sidewalk who is having a conversation with an imaginary adversary. When I used to live in NYC in the 90's, I would look at these guys and insist that they were simply actors in costume...and were working on their monologues. (if you don't know what a monologue is...its something an actor uses on auditions)

Yeah...it's usually the older players...they seem to be the easiest to mind-fuck. The young guys usually get it. I am pretty polarizing in that sense. Been talking to a couple of my intellectual equals about this lately. How comments we make are often mistakenly taken as rude or offensive, when in actuality we are just using witty, often times random in nature, humor. I've literally made statements towards another player...that in my mind, and with my intention being...to fully compliment the person, lead to him calling the floor and informing him that I was berating him. No bullshit. More than a few times. Its befuddling. And disappointing. And makes me sad that my fellow humans don't all possess an IQ over that of a dill pickle. But every good warrior knows...or SHOULD know...that to exist and defeat thy enemy, he must first know him. And know him well. 


So back to my gripe. Because Clint Eastwood is a little more famous than moi, his 'Eastwooding' tactic is going to forever be associated with him...so that NOW whenever I pull that act at a table, someone...some asshole...will undoubtedly throw out the "Oh...I get it! You're Eastwooding!!!" No, fucker...I'm not...I'm 'Monkeying!' It's the same damn thing that happened with the whole Jamie Gold 'craze.' A 4-year career of mind-fucking other players with table talk...of telling them what I think they had before betting into them with either the nuts or sometimes total air and getting them to fold...went up in smoke, when that child molester-looking douche made his WSOP run 5 years ago...or whenever it was.



After that...anytime I would pull that act...I would get the 'oh you think you're Jamie Gold, right?' @*(#$*($(&!_$#(*$!&@#  Son of a ......

Haven't seen my baby now in a week. I guess Squirrel is finally coming home on Sunday. She is really close to her family, and has them scattered all over North Alabama...and I know she has been dragging Carley all over to see all of them...so I'm sure her and Carley have had a great time. But I'm ready for them to come home.

Ordered a new Dell just a few minutes ago. I guess you could call it an impulse buy. My current one lasted almost two years...which is close to a record. I usually burn through one in about 18 months...then pass it down to Squirrel. Well...my current one is in fairly decent shape...but hers is close to biting the dust...so she will get this one...a nice Crimson-colored XPS...her nicest one yet. Dell was having a 5-day Labor Day sale...so I bit.

I guess all the casinos made it through the hurricane okay. None of them slipped into the gulf.

Rented a pretty good movie on RedBox last night. With all subtitles...which meant I had to watch it while NOT playing online poker. 'The Raid-Redemption.' Awesome fight and death scenes. Two thumbs up. 

College football returned with a bang Thursday night...and the first thing that hit me hardest, was no Erin Andrews on the sidelines for ESPN this year...and it sucks. No idea what the hell she is doing...but I'm anxiously waiting.

I had a dream that I won the WSOP Main Event...and while being interviewed, was asked what I wanted to do if I had a choice. Not sure why...but I said I wanted to be on 'Dancing With the Stars." And they accepted me. No idea how far I got.

Okay...it's 6am. I think I'm finally getting tired again. Bye Bye.

MONKEY


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Monk,
Here's a little tip. Do with it what you will. When you get your Dell computer call them up and tell them you would like to send it back and exchange it for a PC. They don't want it back and will offer you credit to keep the one you got. You should be able to get a credit for $100-$300 pretty easily. GL