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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Rain and Wind...Hurricane? Mehhh!

So I woke up this morning...and that fucking situation with my eye was still going on. On the positive side, I got a good nights sleep...because it was bugging me so much that I just laid down and refused to open my eyes. I enjoyed the ONE comment your pigs left...but it had nothing to do with what is wrong with my Fu*k*i*g EYE!!!!


Called Redbox. Explained the missing disc ordeal to the girl who answered...who sounded like she was reading off a cue card. In a not so encouraging tone, she revealed to me that unless the thing is found, I'm pretty much screwed. I believe they charge you for one month's worth of rentals if it isn't returned...so what? $35 for renting 'The Dictator?' In it's defense...it was a pretty funny movie. And witty too, especially the big monologue where he is sort of ironically eschewing all the wonderful things about democracy in front of the U.N. If you don't know what I'm talking about...and SAW the movie? Please never read my blog again. If you don't know what I'm talking about because you HAVENT seen the movie? Watch it...then get back to me.




I'm sick of Weather Channel. And I'm sick of 'Krazy' Kerri Simmons' second-hand reporting of everything she sees on Weather Channel...then rebroadcasting it on Facebook, complete with her dramatic experiences that go along with whatever piece of news she is 'reporting' to everyone. I suggested she change the channel earlier...no dice. Her updates just keep coming...like that damn skin tag commercial. I mean...okay, we get it. It's raining a lot. If anyone gets killed by this storm...they deserved it. I mean...you almost have to find a way to kill yourself to get killed by this one. Wrap yourself in Saran Wrap, tie a cinder block around your leg...and jump off a dock. That might do it.


As soon as everyone starts to think about getting on with their life...BOOM! They come up with some kind of a new wrinkle that will keep people watching their channel! Oh! No! They might have to breech a levee! If I hear this one again..."We have a long way to go with this storm!" I'm gonna stick it up against the wall with Mr. Hunker Down and play a game of dodge grenade!


Hey! Hold on! Guess who made this hurricane happen! No! Not George Bush. But close! What is/was going on this week? You know it. The Republican National Convention. In Tampa. They backed it up a day from Monday to Tuesday. That's yesterday. Did you watch? Did anyone watch? Exactly!!! That is supposed to be their big spotlight party. And no one is watching...cuz they are all following this rain machine called Isaac. 



So how will this affect the election? Who knows!?? But I think when the Democrats get together for their National Convention...the big money boys for the Republicans need to concoct some kind of natural (or man-made) disaster to steal away the country's attention! Any ideas? I think we are all kind of burnt out (no pun intended) on major fires...too many this year. Earthquakes and Tsunamis are kind of hard to create. Unless you are a conspiracy theorist. I don't know. Hurricane Isaac...or Rain Machine Isaac, as I prefer to call it...was a pretty damn good diversion. Well played....Brrrrrrrrack.


Know what I almost did last night? I almost fired up my lawn mower. At 2am. And started mowing my front yard. Why? Because I thought it would be hilarious...to see people come out of their house. And just stand there...staring...and wondering just WHAT in the HELL I was thinking? I would be fighting so hard not to start howling. Pushing the mower...and acting all determined. If I hated my neighbors...or if I had friends over and we were all drinking heavily, I would have done it.


Adam Nash....a guy I really like a lot...and who has turned his whole world around...losing a shit ton of weight...then becoming an MMA fighter...and, I believe is currently undefeated...then goes and WINS an event at the now-cancelled GCPC at the Beau Rivage...has a little gathering at his house yesterday...with fellow poker dealers and players. Had a little tourney I'm told. I would like to offer you a big EF YOU Adam for the lack of an invite. Remember that little blog you used to have.,...the one I hyped on here? Called 'You Deserve a Punch in the Face!?' Well...I nominate you for one...buddy. WTF!??? It hurts man, it hurts. Nice win though. Nice year. But just remember...it only takes one bad woman to ruin it all! Watch your back!


I like this guy Bobby Jindall. Dude doesn't hesitate when he talks. He doesn't appear to be looking for words, or trying to appease people. The way he has handled this crisis has been impressive. Very organized. Very informative. He makes his predecessor...that dumb bitch Blanco...look like an absolute moron. I see why people are so high on this guy. Just sucks that he has to be from Louisiana. Sorry...bayou readers. Couldn't resist.  :)  At least I took Darren Sproles in the 3rd round of my Fantasy Draft tonight...does that make us even?


Oh no...the next two-word expression I am about to get beat up with by the Weather Channel...here it comes:  'Cabin Fever'


While shopping at Wal-Mart before the storm....no, I wasn't shopping for the same thing as everyone else...I made what I think is a pretty astute observation. People who likely NEVER drink bottled water...were buying water like they were taking a trip to the desert for 6 months. Think about it. If you almost never drink water ANYWAY? Why are you buying enough to provide your whole family with water for a year? Stupid. Just stupid. I mean...are they using it to bath themselves? I bought a case of Gatorade. And tons of fruit.


Oh! Are you ready for the greatest piece of food advice ever? Brace yourself. This will change your world. I promise. You like cherries? How bout grapes? Then listen up. Take a big bowl...fill it with your delectable cherries and/or grapes...and fill it with water. First thing you are doing is washing them. Well done. Next: Put them in the refrigerator. After a few hours...the water gets very cold...and your little honeys take on a whole new quality. PHENOMENAL. Just try it. Trust me...if you never say another nice thing about me in your life? This one will stay with you.


My mother had texted me about 17 times in the past two days. "How is the weather now. What is it doing? What are YOU doing?" Finally...I texted her back: "Mom...the weather has been, and will be...doing the same exact thing until the storm is gone. It's raining non-stop. It's windy...with occasional gusts. Every 20-30 minutes there is a tornado warning. Period." She finally quit asking me that same question. Thanks mom! Since I know you read this!

 



Carley turned 4 months old this week. She is growing like crazy! She is such a hit with everyone...I know she is loving it up north with Squirrel and her family...but I really am missing her a lot. Squirrel calls me using Facetime on her iPhone...and as soon as my face pops up on the screen, Carley just smiles so big...I guess you Dads know that feeling you get when you see that smile. Man I love that kid.


I know some of you read my blog to hear about poker and some of you tune in to hear about my personal life. I can't please ALL of you obviously...and I know that. So I try to give you a little bit of everything. One thing I don't care about...is talking about Carley...because on April 25, 2012...she became the most important thing in my life...for the rest of my life. And I'm so glad that I finally had a kid at a time when technology allows us to catch almost every memorable moment either on video, or at the least, in a picture. I mean...we aren't missing anything. And probably a lot of that has to do with the fact she has had one of us with her for every second of her life almost. I hope we are doing everything right by her...I sure know we are trying. I think this is my favorite video out of all of them that we have shot of her so far. Just hearing her giggle and laugh makes me feel so much joy and happiness.



video

I don't know when Squirrel is planning on coming home from North Alabama...it looks from the news like the Beau will be closed for at least a few days after the storm. Then again...it is Labor Day weekend approaching...so they might fast-track their cleanup efforts so as not miss out on any of that money they crave. But I know one thing...I'm ready to see my baby!

I've been encouraging people to quench their thirst...or boredom...of watching and waiting during this storm...to get online, join up on LOCK...using my referral link...and then offering to those who can't get money on there, to send me money on PayPal and let me transfer it. Well, I got about $1000 worth of transfers in until I suddenly wasn't able to deposit anymore. I think my Wells Fargo has a bunch of paranoid schizos working for them. I'm in Vegas...and two big withdrawals signaled them to freeze my card. Next time I used it...DECLINE! Embarrassing as hell when you are with friends out at dinner. I want as many people to join as possible...hell, if they use my refer code...they get 36% rakeback...and it gets credited every day. What's not to like about that? I mean...the site clearly isn't fantastic. But we have limited options folks.


http://refer.lockpoker.com/pokermonkey

http://download.lockpoker.com/pokermonkey

 If you make a deposit...yeah...if you are one of the lucky ones..who can pull it off...enter the code THEFUTURE...and you will get a 200% deposit bonus. I currently have about 5 of them in the bonus queue. Which is nice...figured you could only get it once. WRONG. Now if I could just quit losing on there! That being said...I think I will wrap up this entry and go play some!

MONKEY

2 comments:

scottyclark said...

That video was so good, I watched it twice you lucky bastard!

Anonymous said...

great blog as usual. Anyways you have got to hear what Chad Burns just did in houston last week. Unbelievable. Contact one of your buddies down there for the details. He is a snitch